American Gods (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Episode #3.1 - full transcript
Shadow,
we're gonna be releasing you
later this afternoon.
Your wife...
...she died in the early hours
of this morning.
My lucky coin.
♪
Give me my fucking
coin, dead wife.
You get your life back;
I get my coin.
Deal's off, I'm keeping
your fucking coin.
I usually end up
getting what I want.
I could be Mr. Wednesday
with a shake of the hand.
I could use a fellow like you.
You're my man now.
When you start to
piss me off, I'm gone.
We have a compact.
Hello, Shadow.
You're working for Wednesday.
Yeah.
What is it Wednesday is up to?
You want us to go to war.
Believe me,
these New Gods are not going anywhere soon.
They've already replaced us;
now they want to destroy us.
Your attack will only
work against you.
Make it easier for
Odin to convince
those who were on the
fence to join his cause.
Guard my
spear as you will guard my life.
Wars are coming,
Shadow. I have a big role for you.
I was killed by a God.
Which fucking God?!
Wednesday.
Fuck that guy.
I guess I believe in him.
I wanna believe in you.
He's Wednesday's now.
Hurts when someone
takes what's yours.
Love...
is the most powerful
weapon of war.
Love and war may
sit on opposite sides of a coin,
but only so they may never meet.
What do you think happens
when you touch a God?
What happened to
our arrangement?
Go help save Shadow.
You owe me a battle, Grimnir.
You really want to
know why I picked you?
Just tell me.
We are the same.
Like father, like son.
Sometimes
you remind me of my son.
Your son?
I want to believe in you.
Gods are
real if you believe in them.
The storm is coming.
Whoever did this, I curse.
Fuck!
Someone here is gonna die soon.
Don't get in the fucking way.
Sweeney died last night.
I'm gonna kill Wednesday.
Are you gonna try and stop me?
Free country.
State police
agencies have connected these suspects...
Fuck!
My boy is gonna be just fine.
ID?
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
We are Blood Death
and this is dedicated
to the All-Father!
Get ready for war,
motherfuckers!
Break every bone in tribute!
Praise the All-Father
for his blessing of death!
Let there be blood!
♪
♪
♪
Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin!
Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin!
Hail the All-father.
Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin!
Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin!
Odin! Odin! Odin!
♪
♪
♪
♪ I got nothing Got
nothing to lose ♪
♪ I'm coming Coming for you ♪
♪ With a hard
head Tired of it too ♪
♪ I want to take a
walk in the wild ♪
♪ I want to feel
our hearts collide ♪
♪ I want to feel a light ♪
Yo, Mike.
You drop-balled that entire
pile of frag before lunch?
Uh, yeah. Yeah. Ain't no thing.
Yeah, but you only been on the
line a minute and you roll like that?
Damn, you're a quick study.
Well, I got a good teacher.
Okay. Okay, I'll take that.
Hey, Mike,
you got a minute?
Yeah, sure.
Uh, catch you in the break room?
Yeah, you will.
We got some bones to slap,
so don't even think about
skipping out on the ass-kicking
I'm about to lay down.
Sorry. Sorry, boss.
Mike, you're aware we've
been having issues with staffing.
We just landed
this military contract.
There's not a lot of
wiggle room in the bid.
We want to put our
best people on it...
And with me being new...
I'd like you to
be on the project.
Position comes with a pay raise
and all the overtime you want.
Interested?
Yeah. Of, of course.
Um,
I don't want to leave my team in the lurch.
Well,
Sadie's the one who put you up for the job.
She's got an eye for talent,
thinks it's a good opportunity
for you and I, uh, agree.
I don't know what to say. Uh,
thank you.
All right.
And since this is a
government thing,
the feds are gonna
do a background check,
make sure you're
not a spy or whatever.
Pretty routine. Just, uh,
hide the porn when
they come to pay a visit.
Yeah, sure. Will do.
Look, Brigitte, your boy was
swinging his magic voodoo dick around
telling me he could
bring the leprechaun back.
- Yo, Brigitte.
- Hiya, George.
It was three fucking months
ago. What is the deal?
I'm gonna be real with you,
Lil' Bit.
That big dick is
as magic as it gets.
But, heh, he ain't been swingin'
it at no fucking leprechaun.
Let me talk to Samedi.
Like I told you last time,
he's in Hialeah at
a loa family reunion.
When the fuck is he back?
I'm the Lord of the
Dead's fuck buddy,
not his appointment secretary.
Look,
I know Samedi gave it his best shot.
Potions, gris-gris,
the whole nine.
But, heh-heh, resurrecting a
god isn't as easy as you'd think.
Especially when no one
believes in him anymore.
What if you didn't have to
bring him all the way back to life?
I mean,
what if he just had to be undead enough
to perform a
relatively simple task?
Such as?
I need something
from his hoard. It's...
It's a revenge thing.
There's a certain motherfucker
that's got it coming.
You sure revenge is the only
reason you want this leprechaun back?
Not that it's any
of my business.
No,
it's really not any of your business.
But, yes.
Payback's the only
itch I gotta scratch.
I'm afraid you're out of luck,
Lil' Bit.
There's really nothing
more the Baron can do.
Good news is,
Sweeney's pretty well preserved.
If he didn't have god energy,
he'd be a puddle
of Irish stew by now.
Oh, that's fantastic.
A good-looking corpse
doesn't really get the job done.
What about this?
The gris-gris Samedi gave me.
Would this work on him?
The magic in that secret sauce
is meant for you and you alone.
My fucking luck.
Et voilà!
This is him.
♪
Really?
♪ Dead love couldn't
go no further ♪
♪ Proud of and
disgusted by her ♪
♪ Push shove,
a little bruised and battered ♪
♪ Oh Lord I ain't
coming home with you ♪
♪ My life's a bit more colder ♪
- ♪ Dead wife is what
I told her ♪ -
♪ Brass knife sinks
into my shoulder ♪
♪ Oh babe don't know
what I'm gonna do ♪
♪
♪ In hell I'll be in
good company ♪
♪ Raven fly ♪
♪ On the river ♪
♪ Rapids raging ♪
♪ In her chest ♪
♪ See her body ♪
♪ Flying over ♪
♪ With a song ♪
♪ River roll ♪
♪ Down a mountain ♪
♪ Wash your face ♪
♪ Tell the sirens ♪
♪ I'm a comin' ♪
♪ And then they'll see ♪
♪ Raven cry ♪
♪ Tell the sirens ♪
♪ I'm a comin' ♪
♪ I'm a comin' ♪
♪ And they'll see ♪
♪ I'm a comin' ♪
♪ And they'll see ♪
♪ You sweet little thing ♪
♪ With your dirty,
dirty wheels ♪
♪ You sweet little thing ♪
♪ With your dirty,
dirty wheels ♪
♪ I loves the game ♪
♪ I wants to play ♪
Hey, Sadie.
You know,
I've been thinking, uh...
you might need to
find a new hobby.
This domino thing?
I'm kinda tired of
taking your money.
Oh, you a dominologist now?
All right, let's see what you
got good tomorrow, brother.
Yeah?
- Yeah. - I look forward to it.
It's on.
♪ Well, well, well, well ♪
♪ Well, well, well, well ♪
♪ Well, well, well, well ♪
Oh!
- Oh, you okay? - Oh!
Oh, well, aren't you an angel?
Strong too.
Um,
do you need a hand? It's kind of slippery.
Oh.
My name is Helen. What's yours?
It's Mike.
Oh, that's my husband's name.
God rest his soul. I
just buried him today.
Oh, no. I'm sorry for your loss.
Decent, kind, good-hearted.
Well endowed.
The hands tell the tale.
He was also a liar,
a cheat and a con man,
capable of deception
and great cruelty.
He was transformed by the
grace and forgiveness of his family.
It was forgiveness that allowed us,
me, to see past his failings.
But a man's sins can never be undone.
If my husband could speak now,
he'd offer his humble apology
for all the hurt he has caused.
Even though he is now with the angels,
I can hear him say it.
Nice party trick, asshole.
Go fuck yourself.
You motherfucker...
As charged.
Like the new look. Less severe.
What are you doing here?
I'm here to extract you,
pre-emptively,
from a... situation.
You're not extracting
me from anywhere.
'Kay? I came to Milwaukee
to make a new life for myself.
Doesn't include you.
You were supposed
to go to Lakeside.
Or didn't the address
on that driver's licence
make it clear enough to you,
Mike?
I don't do your bidding anymore.
I'm not your man.
This is not the best time
to discuss our compact,
given your legal situation.
Well, you're gonna have to
come up with a better con than that.
I've got nothing to do with this
background check they're running on you.
No? Yet you seem
to know all about it?
Oh, let me guess.
A little fucking birdie told you,
huh?
Two, as a matter of fact.
Yeah.
Stay away from me.
We're done.
♪
♪ That's where I'll be ♪
♪ Where the girls are ♪
♪ That's where I'll be ♪
♪ Girl I'll even
tell your sister ♪
♪ Girl,
I love you like no other ♪
♪ I'll be your mistress,
be your mistress ♪
♪ Girl,
I'll even tell your mother ♪
♪ When I'm right,
I say I'm right ♪
♪ If I'm wrong,
please tell me I'm wrong ♪
♪ Come on home with me tonight ♪
♪ Let me love
you all night long ♪
♪ Girl I'll even
tell your sister ♪
♪ Girl I love you
like no other ♪
♪ I'll be your mistress,
be your mistress ♪
♪ Girl,
I'll even tell your mother ♪
Your attention please.
Whoa.
- Ms. World. I like it.
- Super hot.
Today was
supposed to be roll-out day,
was it not? For the first
components of the SHARD project?
Today you were supposed to tweet,
post, clap back,
trend,
and go high key with our messaging.
But instead of taking
the first glorious steps
towards building a
virtual church of the mind...
...we have this.
The fur-leather
combo's pretty dope.
Predicting what the
chimp-people will care about
is an inexact science.
Like climate change.
Talk about cancelled.
Distract. Misdirect.
Make them give a fuck about
what we say is important.
Your job is to provide
and control the narrative.
This...
...is not control.
Mike Ainsel!
♪
You've grown some serious balls.
I'm proud of you.
I told you to stay the
fuck away from me.
Everything that you've heard
and seen since we first met
must have been running around
in there the past few months
and you couldn't
talk about any of it
to anyone, huh?
We're gonna play
Twenty Questions,
and they're all yours.
Fire away.
You really my dad?
Oh,
is that still a point of speculation,
considering our shared traits?
Huh? Charisma,
strong jawline,
way with the ladies.
- - I am done with the fuckery.
Okay, so no more riddles,
no more talking in circles,
okay?
If you want forgiveness,
I want answers.
You owe me that much.
- So, Mom? - Mom.
Another one of your conquests?
That why you abandoned us?
That's two questions.
First one, your mother.
My relationship with
her was a mistake.
She was too young and I was...
me.
Oh,
so she was just a nut and run?
I never met anyone
like your mother.
There was a light about her.
Yeah, yet you still left her.
She left the country.
Oh, really?
'Cause it's not like
you went after her.
I'm bound to these shores.
If I were ever to leave,
I would cease to exist.
It's one of the penalties you pay for
being a god who comes to America.
Yeah,
well she came back to America.
Along with your son.
If you're telling the truth.
Believe it or not,
I'm just trying to save
the human race from itself.
Wow,
people are gonna be so pissed
when they find out the messiah that
everybody's been waiting for... is you.
I do remember a time when
man lived in harmony with nature.
But now he's made
technology his god.
And what's it gotten him?
Pesticides in his water,
in his food,
weapons that can destroy
the earth a thousand times over.
New Gods. Heh.
They're just parasites.
The only reason they're here
is to make it easier for humanity
to indulge in its most
self-destructive impulses.
Until the world ceases to exist.
And, without followers,
so will you.
Well, I don't see any conflict
in enlightened self-interest.
So,
you are on a mission to save humanity,
and you're just trying
to draft me into this war?
Well, it's a volunteer army.
I can't do it all on my own.
Who in the hell knows if you
actually believe anything you just said?
And you're still running around
not knowing who you really are.
Huh.
- We're done.
- Well, you've got about 14 questions left.
Yeah,
I kinda got all the answers I need.
Oh,
you can be your own man all you want
until destiny kicks in.
Why don't you ask
me if I need you?
Why?
Because war is coming, Shadow.
And if I don't have the
loyalty of my own son,
how can I expect
support from anyone else?
Yes, I need you, Shadow.
And, besides,
we're the only family we have.
♪
Wo-o-ow!
Spectacular new look.
And, and I get it.
White guys are not on trend.
Evolve or perish, am I right?
Sit.
Great idea.
Understand:
The more attention
Wednesday gets,
the more powerful he becomes.
So he has some traction.
We put up a cat video,
the old fossil's history.
Yeah,
why are we worrying about this?
All it takes is
for that old fossil
to throw a lightning
bolt into the power grid
and you're all offline.
Grandpa Viking?
You're totally overreacting.
You were all created by
me for a specific purpose.
Fail at that purpose
and this is what happens.
Are we clear?
Boss, you're killing it,
but, uh,
can we have the room?
I have been feeling a
certain degree of hostility
towards me lately.
You and I are chill, right?
Let's review:
you turned an
intelligence-gathering operation
into an act of war
with Shadow Moon.
Okay, we've been through this...
You still haven't
delivered Bilquis to our side.
You even managed to fuck
up your own system upgrade.
Shall I continue?
Fine.
Clearly, I have not been
meeting your level of expectation.
Mea culpa.
King Kamehameha culpa.
You're procrastinating
with Bilquis.
Why?
I am being strategic.
I am letting her
live into the reality
that she owes me big time.
I'm feeling very optimistic
about the outcome.
I don't give a fuck
about what you feel.
Just get it done.
And... what is taking
so long with the financing
for the SHARD project?
You and I both know
that a digital pipeline
direct into every cerebral cortex
on the planet is a no-brainer.
But, as strange as it may sound,
bankers have some
hesitation pumping 20 billion
into a yet-to-be-developed
vanguard technology
that will forever change human
consciousness as we know it.
Your job is to
convince these people.
Not make excuses for them.
With respect,
asking the primates for
money to build it feels...
super weak,
when we can just hack into the
World Bank and fucking loot the place.
SHARD requires
human participation.
The humans need to believe
that they're the ones building
a virtual church of the mind.
Once it is operational,
we will control it
and the Old Gods
will finally be obsolete.
Hm.
Um, more than they already are?
Don't underestimate Wednesday.
He can still hurt us.
Which is why I'm
taking him off the board.
♪
Let's go, guys!
♪
What happened to Betty?
This is Betty.
What's with the new outfit?
I've been exploring
America's forgotten coast.
You have no idea how
many nude beaches there are
down in the Redneck Riviera.
They're thumping a
helluva lot more than bibles,
I can tell you that.
♪
So, where are we headed?
We're off to see Whiskey Jack,
a powerful Native
American deity.
We fell out a couple
of hundred years ago,
so I wanna see if the
animosity endures.
Is there anyone you haven't
managed to piss off yet?
I'm thinking.
So, these New Gods,
are they really even gods?
If they are,
so is indoor plumbing.
But they're dangerous and
they wield a lot of power.
♪
So I reckon you got a
couple of questions left.
Who am I?
Really?
You are the son
of the All-Father,
so walk this path with me
and greatness shall be yours.
All right. So does that make me a god,
too?
What the...
fuck.
Well, lookee who's here.
Wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no.
No, come on. Wait, no.
God. I should've stayed at home.
Take the wheel.
What...
what are you doing?!
Head straight for
'em. Keep it under 30.
You're fucking
serious right now.
On my signal.
Okay, well then, whatever you're doing,
you need to do quick.
What're-what're you doing?
I can't see.
I can't, I can't, I can't see.
Hard right now.
Right,
right where? This thing'll roll!
Gotta trust yourself on this one,
Shadow.
♪
♪
Nicely done.
♪
Pathetic.
Huh.
Oh!
Wow.
Legs from here to there.
All curves and what not.
- My, my.
- I don't have time for you.
I'm expecting a guest.
Your john is going to be late.
I gave him 50
bucks for him to...
choke the bishop for half an hour,
so we can conversate.
Wow!
I am not a prostitute.
Oh, baby love,
we're all prostitutes.
The men who seek me
are not johns.
They are worshippers.
A distinction
without a difference.
Hmm!
I am here on a matter
of some urgency,
which involves... vous.
Looks like the app I gifted
you has been paying off.
Big time.
Seems like only yesterday
you were sleeping in doorways.
I know you'll get to the
urgency part sooner or later.
Uh-huh.
I'm here to collect.
I enabled you with the
means to not just survive
but to live...
large.
Only seems fair that
you return the favor.
I want you to join our
coalition against Wednesday
- and his irrelevant, medieval friends.
- No.
When you were on the skids...
...did the All-Father
so much as offer to
lend you a caribou pelt
to keep you warm at night?
And you?
You only helped me
with expectation of gain.
I have no love for
Wednesday or his ilk,
but I intend to stay neutral.
I have seen war. It
doesn't solve anything.
War only brings
misery and death.
Well,
I promise that our war is
going to help a lot of people,
or a few people a lot.
Either way,
you get to be one of them.
What do you know about war?
Have you ever endured its agony?
- - Felt it cut through you,
turning you into a thing
to be covered with dust?
No!
What in the fuck
did you do to me?
♪
That's what
happens when you don't call first.
Stay close.
You can get lost in here.
♪
Oh, come on.
Wednesday!
Wednesday!
Wednesday!
I've been awaiting your arrival,
Shadow.
Where's Wednesday?
Ah, he's on the wrong path.
You know, for all his bullshit,
he's correct about one thing:
the twilight of the Gods
and the end of
humanity are at hand.
And you have a
destiny to fulfill,
so don't screw it up.
Or everything will
come to an end.
What destiny?
How the fuck should I know?
It's beyond my sight.
But there are those
who can guide you.
Who are they?
When your head and your
heart are brought into alignment,
the answers will come.
Follow the Enaemaehkiw.
Woutan, you're not welcome here.
Wisakedjak.
There you are.
Know that I come not to
pour salt on old wounds, but...
we live in perilous times.
Yeah, yeah,
yeah. I know all about your war.
Then you also know that the
so-called New Gods will not stop
until the memory of all the
old ways has been swept away.
Oh, you know all about erasing history,
don't you?
It was your followers who
slaughtered my people,
and stole our land.
And you?
You did nothing but
grow fat on their worship.
I come in the spirit of forgiveness
to heal the rift between us.
You only come when
it serves your purpose.
So it's always
been with your kind.
So go piss up a rope.
I ain't gonna help you.
Then you will die
a coward's death.
Watch your tongue, Woutan.
Hey, I think it's time to go.
♪
We'll see ourselves out.
Ah,
terra firma, North Dakota.
The Spirit Lake Nation of
the Lakota Sioux to be exact.
So,
what were you and that
old buzzard talking about
before I arrived, huh?
- Absolutely nothing. - Oh.
- Nothing, huh? - Nope.
Nothing.
This you?
♪
Right on time.
Actually, I'm two hours late.
Oh,
the universe is always on schedule.
Besides,
punctuality: virtue of the bored.
Who's this?
Evelyn Waugh.
Who?
The quote, Evelyn Waugh.
This radiant being
is my fiancée, Cordelia.
Meet my son, Shadow Moon.
- Fiancée. - 'Sup?
It took me five days
to drive up here.
I spent Christmas in a
truck stop on account of you.
Ah,
it's a made-up holiday anyway.
- There's a blizzard comin'.
- Mm.
We want to
make it to Utah anytime soon,
we better get goin'.
Utah?
We're on our way to see
another old friend
of mine: Tklehoai.
The one the Navajo
call the Night Carrier.
Hello? What? You
don't wanna do that?
You want us to leave
you here all on your own?
Well,
I can't go back to Milwaukee now. Um...
I guess I'm just gonna
find a place to lay low.
Figure out my next move.
Well, what about Lakeside?
What is it with
you and Lakeside?
For one thing,
nobody's looking for you there.
You got an apartment
waiting for you there,
six months' rent paid upfront.
The things we do for
ungrateful children.
I'm good.
Do better when I
make my own decisions.
Suit yourself.
Man's free will is
his most prized asset.
Come on,
we'll drop you at the nearest bus station.
♪
Keys to the
apartment in Lakeside,
just in case you
change your mind.
The lease is in the
name of Emerson Borson.
I'm good, thanks.
Still Betty, huh?
Same soul, different chassis.
♪
♪ Oh, a storm is threatening ♪
♪ My very life today ♪
♪ If I don't get some shelter ♪
Hey, Mike.
Mike!
My intended here does
not want you to catch a chill.
Be in touch.
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
You're in luck.
I was just about to
close up shop for the day.
Blizzard's on the way.
Storm of the century,
they're saying.
Where you headed?
Chicago, please. Uh, one way.
Okay.
Sorry.
That bus has been cancelled.
Oh, uh, okay. Uh...
- How about Kansas City? - 'Kay.
Also cancelled.
Springfield?
And Springfield...
has been cancelled too.
Columbus?
Nope.
Pretty much everything's shut
down on account of the storm.
Uh, wait.
I do have one.
Leaving for Lakeside, Wisconsin.
Should be here in
about 15 minutes.
Yeah. That's, that's fine.
I'll take it.
Do you know anything
about Lakeside?
I'm guessing it
probably has a lake?
♪
♪ Well, I'm so tired of crying ♪
♪ But I'm out on
the road again ♪
♪ I'm on the road again ♪
♪ Well, I'm so tired of crying ♪
♪ But I'm out on
the road again ♪
♪ I'm on the road again ♪
♪ I ain't got no woman ♪
♪ Just to call my
special friend ♪
♪ You know the
first time I travelled ♪
♪ Out in the rain and snow ♪
♪ In the rain and snow ♪
♪ You know the
first time I travelled ♪
♪ Out in the rain and snow ♪
♪ In the rain and snow ♪
♪ I didn't have no payroll ♪
♪ Not even no place to go ♪
You say it.
He's right there. Come on!
- I dare you. I dare you.
- I dare you.
Okay. I'm gonna... Alison!
- Hey, mister! - No.
- No, no. - I'm sorry.
My, my friend here, Alison...
- Is just leaving.
- ...thinks you're so cute.
She thinks you're so hot!
She's just too shy to say it!
But we're gonna go because
my parents are here...
I like your hat!
- ...and you're embarrassing.
- What?!
You need to stop it.
You did on the bus!
I, I didn't, no.
- It's your mom and dad.
- Hey, guys!
Hi.
Hello?
Oh!
Oh my gosh.
What are you doing
out in this kind of weather
without a proper coat on?
I think it's two
below zero out there.
I just got into
town. I didn't...
I didn't think it was
gonna be this cold.
Up here in the Great North Woods,
we call this late summer.
January is what we call cold.
I'm gonna get you
a cup of coffee.
Would that be all right?
You think that'll warm
you up a little bit?
Yeah, that, that,
that'd be real nice. Thank you.
You wouldn't happen to
know if Gorman Street's
within walking distance of here,
would you?
Oh, it is, but I'm afraid
that you'd be frozen to death
by the time you
got halfway there.
- Okay. - Oh.
Is there, I dunno,
a cab company I can call?
Yes. Yes, there is.
Chad, I have a gentleman here
that needs a ride up to Gorman Street.
Oh, you're a doll. Okay.
Okay,
great. I'll see you in a minute.
Bye-bye.
Our cab driver is out
of town for the holidays.
Abner heads down
to the Sea of Cortez
to do some marlin
fishing every year.
So I have a friend who's
gonna give you a lift.
- Ann-Marie Hinzelmann.
- Mike Ainsel.
Mike Ainsel.
Mike. That's a really nice name.
- Thank you. - Yes.
Oh, well,
it's nice to have some company in here.
The store can get really quiet.
That's quite the
collection you got here.
I know it. I am,
I'm pretty proud of it.
Is there much demand
for videos these days?
Well, there is when you live
in a town with spotty Internet.
And don't get me
started on the cell service.
Not that I'm complaining;
the extra income helps keep -
I don't know - body and soul
together or something like that.
Oh!
You the fellow
that needs a ride?
Chad Mulligan,
please say hello to Mike Ainsel.
Chad's the law in these parts.
And temporary taxi driver
every year 'round this time.
Well, um, I'm parked out front.
Okay, well,
give me your coffee cup.
- Thank you. - All right.
- After you. - And take care.
And get yourself a proper coat,
for heaven's sake.
What most folks don't know
is that the first settlers here,
Lloyd and Martha Pruitt,
were British loyalists,
a little detail they had
to keep under wraps
in order to be
awarded a homestead.
In the light of day,
it's one of the
prettiest views around,
if I do say so myself.
So,
how long you planning on being in town?
I don't know. A few days maybe.
Well, we don't get too many
visitors this time of year.
Too damn cold.
Not really the type of town
you can just pick up and move to
on the account of not
being any housing available.
You can't even build an outhouse
with all the zoning restrictions.
I guess I lucked out.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. Uncle...
rented a spot out here
a few months back.
Thought I'd check it out.
Oh, your neighbor up here
where you're staying is, uh,
is an old friend of mine,
Marguerite Olsen.
You're gonna want to mind your P's and Q's,
though.
She runs the local paper.
So you never know what
you say that'll end up in print.
Okay. Well,
I appreciate the heads-up.
All right. Here we are.
That's great. Well,
thanks for the ride.
Appreciate it.
If you need anything,
just give me a call.
Will do.
Oh, and make sure to give
Mabel's Diner a try.
Best pasties on the planet.
Top of my list.
No!
♪
♪ War, children ♪
♪ It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away ♪
♪ It's just a shot away ♪
♪ It's just a shot away ♪
♪ It's just a shot away ♪
♪ I tell you love, sister ♪
♪ It's just a kiss away ♪
♪ It's just a kiss away ♪
♪ It's just a kiss away ♪
♪ It's just a kiss away ♪
♪ It's just a kiss away ♪
♪ Kiss away, kiss away ♪
we're gonna be releasing you
later this afternoon.
Your wife...
...she died in the early hours
of this morning.
My lucky coin.
♪
Give me my fucking
coin, dead wife.
You get your life back;
I get my coin.
Deal's off, I'm keeping
your fucking coin.
I usually end up
getting what I want.
I could be Mr. Wednesday
with a shake of the hand.
I could use a fellow like you.
You're my man now.
When you start to
piss me off, I'm gone.
We have a compact.
Hello, Shadow.
You're working for Wednesday.
Yeah.
What is it Wednesday is up to?
You want us to go to war.
Believe me,
these New Gods are not going anywhere soon.
They've already replaced us;
now they want to destroy us.
Your attack will only
work against you.
Make it easier for
Odin to convince
those who were on the
fence to join his cause.
Guard my
spear as you will guard my life.
Wars are coming,
Shadow. I have a big role for you.
I was killed by a God.
Which fucking God?!
Wednesday.
Fuck that guy.
I guess I believe in him.
I wanna believe in you.
He's Wednesday's now.
Hurts when someone
takes what's yours.
Love...
is the most powerful
weapon of war.
Love and war may
sit on opposite sides of a coin,
but only so they may never meet.
What do you think happens
when you touch a God?
What happened to
our arrangement?
Go help save Shadow.
You owe me a battle, Grimnir.
You really want to
know why I picked you?
Just tell me.
We are the same.
Like father, like son.
Sometimes
you remind me of my son.
Your son?
I want to believe in you.
Gods are
real if you believe in them.
The storm is coming.
Whoever did this, I curse.
Fuck!
Someone here is gonna die soon.
Don't get in the fucking way.
Sweeney died last night.
I'm gonna kill Wednesday.
Are you gonna try and stop me?
Free country.
State police
agencies have connected these suspects...
Fuck!
My boy is gonna be just fine.
ID?
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
We are Blood Death
and this is dedicated
to the All-Father!
Get ready for war,
motherfuckers!
Break every bone in tribute!
Praise the All-Father
for his blessing of death!
Let there be blood!
♪
♪
♪
Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin!
Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin!
Hail the All-father.
Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin!
Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin!
Odin! Odin! Odin!
♪
♪
♪
♪ I got nothing Got
nothing to lose ♪
♪ I'm coming Coming for you ♪
♪ With a hard
head Tired of it too ♪
♪ I want to take a
walk in the wild ♪
♪ I want to feel
our hearts collide ♪
♪ I want to feel a light ♪
Yo, Mike.
You drop-balled that entire
pile of frag before lunch?
Uh, yeah. Yeah. Ain't no thing.
Yeah, but you only been on the
line a minute and you roll like that?
Damn, you're a quick study.
Well, I got a good teacher.
Okay. Okay, I'll take that.
Hey, Mike,
you got a minute?
Yeah, sure.
Uh, catch you in the break room?
Yeah, you will.
We got some bones to slap,
so don't even think about
skipping out on the ass-kicking
I'm about to lay down.
Sorry. Sorry, boss.
Mike, you're aware we've
been having issues with staffing.
We just landed
this military contract.
There's not a lot of
wiggle room in the bid.
We want to put our
best people on it...
And with me being new...
I'd like you to
be on the project.
Position comes with a pay raise
and all the overtime you want.
Interested?
Yeah. Of, of course.
Um,
I don't want to leave my team in the lurch.
Well,
Sadie's the one who put you up for the job.
She's got an eye for talent,
thinks it's a good opportunity
for you and I, uh, agree.
I don't know what to say. Uh,
thank you.
All right.
And since this is a
government thing,
the feds are gonna
do a background check,
make sure you're
not a spy or whatever.
Pretty routine. Just, uh,
hide the porn when
they come to pay a visit.
Yeah, sure. Will do.
Look, Brigitte, your boy was
swinging his magic voodoo dick around
telling me he could
bring the leprechaun back.
- Yo, Brigitte.
- Hiya, George.
It was three fucking months
ago. What is the deal?
I'm gonna be real with you,
Lil' Bit.
That big dick is
as magic as it gets.
But, heh, he ain't been swingin'
it at no fucking leprechaun.
Let me talk to Samedi.
Like I told you last time,
he's in Hialeah at
a loa family reunion.
When the fuck is he back?
I'm the Lord of the
Dead's fuck buddy,
not his appointment secretary.
Look,
I know Samedi gave it his best shot.
Potions, gris-gris,
the whole nine.
But, heh-heh, resurrecting a
god isn't as easy as you'd think.
Especially when no one
believes in him anymore.
What if you didn't have to
bring him all the way back to life?
I mean,
what if he just had to be undead enough
to perform a
relatively simple task?
Such as?
I need something
from his hoard. It's...
It's a revenge thing.
There's a certain motherfucker
that's got it coming.
You sure revenge is the only
reason you want this leprechaun back?
Not that it's any
of my business.
No,
it's really not any of your business.
But, yes.
Payback's the only
itch I gotta scratch.
I'm afraid you're out of luck,
Lil' Bit.
There's really nothing
more the Baron can do.
Good news is,
Sweeney's pretty well preserved.
If he didn't have god energy,
he'd be a puddle
of Irish stew by now.
Oh, that's fantastic.
A good-looking corpse
doesn't really get the job done.
What about this?
The gris-gris Samedi gave me.
Would this work on him?
The magic in that secret sauce
is meant for you and you alone.
My fucking luck.
Et voilà!
This is him.
♪
Really?
♪ Dead love couldn't
go no further ♪
♪ Proud of and
disgusted by her ♪
♪ Push shove,
a little bruised and battered ♪
♪ Oh Lord I ain't
coming home with you ♪
♪ My life's a bit more colder ♪
- ♪ Dead wife is what
I told her ♪ -
♪ Brass knife sinks
into my shoulder ♪
♪ Oh babe don't know
what I'm gonna do ♪
♪
♪ In hell I'll be in
good company ♪
♪ Raven fly ♪
♪ On the river ♪
♪ Rapids raging ♪
♪ In her chest ♪
♪ See her body ♪
♪ Flying over ♪
♪ With a song ♪
♪ River roll ♪
♪ Down a mountain ♪
♪ Wash your face ♪
♪ Tell the sirens ♪
♪ I'm a comin' ♪
♪ And then they'll see ♪
♪ Raven cry ♪
♪ Tell the sirens ♪
♪ I'm a comin' ♪
♪ I'm a comin' ♪
♪ And they'll see ♪
♪ I'm a comin' ♪
♪ And they'll see ♪
♪ You sweet little thing ♪
♪ With your dirty,
dirty wheels ♪
♪ You sweet little thing ♪
♪ With your dirty,
dirty wheels ♪
♪ I loves the game ♪
♪ I wants to play ♪
Hey, Sadie.
You know,
I've been thinking, uh...
you might need to
find a new hobby.
This domino thing?
I'm kinda tired of
taking your money.
Oh, you a dominologist now?
All right, let's see what you
got good tomorrow, brother.
Yeah?
- Yeah. - I look forward to it.
It's on.
♪ Well, well, well, well ♪
♪ Well, well, well, well ♪
♪ Well, well, well, well ♪
Oh!
- Oh, you okay? - Oh!
Oh, well, aren't you an angel?
Strong too.
Um,
do you need a hand? It's kind of slippery.
Oh.
My name is Helen. What's yours?
It's Mike.
Oh, that's my husband's name.
God rest his soul. I
just buried him today.
Oh, no. I'm sorry for your loss.
Decent, kind, good-hearted.
Well endowed.
The hands tell the tale.
He was also a liar,
a cheat and a con man,
capable of deception
and great cruelty.
He was transformed by the
grace and forgiveness of his family.
It was forgiveness that allowed us,
me, to see past his failings.
But a man's sins can never be undone.
If my husband could speak now,
he'd offer his humble apology
for all the hurt he has caused.
Even though he is now with the angels,
I can hear him say it.
Nice party trick, asshole.
Go fuck yourself.
You motherfucker...
As charged.
Like the new look. Less severe.
What are you doing here?
I'm here to extract you,
pre-emptively,
from a... situation.
You're not extracting
me from anywhere.
'Kay? I came to Milwaukee
to make a new life for myself.
Doesn't include you.
You were supposed
to go to Lakeside.
Or didn't the address
on that driver's licence
make it clear enough to you,
Mike?
I don't do your bidding anymore.
I'm not your man.
This is not the best time
to discuss our compact,
given your legal situation.
Well, you're gonna have to
come up with a better con than that.
I've got nothing to do with this
background check they're running on you.
No? Yet you seem
to know all about it?
Oh, let me guess.
A little fucking birdie told you,
huh?
Two, as a matter of fact.
Yeah.
Stay away from me.
We're done.
♪
♪ That's where I'll be ♪
♪ Where the girls are ♪
♪ That's where I'll be ♪
♪ Girl I'll even
tell your sister ♪
♪ Girl,
I love you like no other ♪
♪ I'll be your mistress,
be your mistress ♪
♪ Girl,
I'll even tell your mother ♪
♪ When I'm right,
I say I'm right ♪
♪ If I'm wrong,
please tell me I'm wrong ♪
♪ Come on home with me tonight ♪
♪ Let me love
you all night long ♪
♪ Girl I'll even
tell your sister ♪
♪ Girl I love you
like no other ♪
♪ I'll be your mistress,
be your mistress ♪
♪ Girl,
I'll even tell your mother ♪
Your attention please.
Whoa.
- Ms. World. I like it.
- Super hot.
Today was
supposed to be roll-out day,
was it not? For the first
components of the SHARD project?
Today you were supposed to tweet,
post, clap back,
trend,
and go high key with our messaging.
But instead of taking
the first glorious steps
towards building a
virtual church of the mind...
...we have this.
The fur-leather
combo's pretty dope.
Predicting what the
chimp-people will care about
is an inexact science.
Like climate change.
Talk about cancelled.
Distract. Misdirect.
Make them give a fuck about
what we say is important.
Your job is to provide
and control the narrative.
This...
...is not control.
Mike Ainsel!
♪
You've grown some serious balls.
I'm proud of you.
I told you to stay the
fuck away from me.
Everything that you've heard
and seen since we first met
must have been running around
in there the past few months
and you couldn't
talk about any of it
to anyone, huh?
We're gonna play
Twenty Questions,
and they're all yours.
Fire away.
You really my dad?
Oh,
is that still a point of speculation,
considering our shared traits?
Huh? Charisma,
strong jawline,
way with the ladies.
- - I am done with the fuckery.
Okay, so no more riddles,
no more talking in circles,
okay?
If you want forgiveness,
I want answers.
You owe me that much.
- So, Mom? - Mom.
Another one of your conquests?
That why you abandoned us?
That's two questions.
First one, your mother.
My relationship with
her was a mistake.
She was too young and I was...
me.
Oh,
so she was just a nut and run?
I never met anyone
like your mother.
There was a light about her.
Yeah, yet you still left her.
She left the country.
Oh, really?
'Cause it's not like
you went after her.
I'm bound to these shores.
If I were ever to leave,
I would cease to exist.
It's one of the penalties you pay for
being a god who comes to America.
Yeah,
well she came back to America.
Along with your son.
If you're telling the truth.
Believe it or not,
I'm just trying to save
the human race from itself.
Wow,
people are gonna be so pissed
when they find out the messiah that
everybody's been waiting for... is you.
I do remember a time when
man lived in harmony with nature.
But now he's made
technology his god.
And what's it gotten him?
Pesticides in his water,
in his food,
weapons that can destroy
the earth a thousand times over.
New Gods. Heh.
They're just parasites.
The only reason they're here
is to make it easier for humanity
to indulge in its most
self-destructive impulses.
Until the world ceases to exist.
And, without followers,
so will you.
Well, I don't see any conflict
in enlightened self-interest.
So,
you are on a mission to save humanity,
and you're just trying
to draft me into this war?
Well, it's a volunteer army.
I can't do it all on my own.
Who in the hell knows if you
actually believe anything you just said?
And you're still running around
not knowing who you really are.
Huh.
- We're done.
- Well, you've got about 14 questions left.
Yeah,
I kinda got all the answers I need.
Oh,
you can be your own man all you want
until destiny kicks in.
Why don't you ask
me if I need you?
Why?
Because war is coming, Shadow.
And if I don't have the
loyalty of my own son,
how can I expect
support from anyone else?
Yes, I need you, Shadow.
And, besides,
we're the only family we have.
♪
Wo-o-ow!
Spectacular new look.
And, and I get it.
White guys are not on trend.
Evolve or perish, am I right?
Sit.
Great idea.
Understand:
The more attention
Wednesday gets,
the more powerful he becomes.
So he has some traction.
We put up a cat video,
the old fossil's history.
Yeah,
why are we worrying about this?
All it takes is
for that old fossil
to throw a lightning
bolt into the power grid
and you're all offline.
Grandpa Viking?
You're totally overreacting.
You were all created by
me for a specific purpose.
Fail at that purpose
and this is what happens.
Are we clear?
Boss, you're killing it,
but, uh,
can we have the room?
I have been feeling a
certain degree of hostility
towards me lately.
You and I are chill, right?
Let's review:
you turned an
intelligence-gathering operation
into an act of war
with Shadow Moon.
Okay, we've been through this...
You still haven't
delivered Bilquis to our side.
You even managed to fuck
up your own system upgrade.
Shall I continue?
Fine.
Clearly, I have not been
meeting your level of expectation.
Mea culpa.
King Kamehameha culpa.
You're procrastinating
with Bilquis.
Why?
I am being strategic.
I am letting her
live into the reality
that she owes me big time.
I'm feeling very optimistic
about the outcome.
I don't give a fuck
about what you feel.
Just get it done.
And... what is taking
so long with the financing
for the SHARD project?
You and I both know
that a digital pipeline
direct into every cerebral cortex
on the planet is a no-brainer.
But, as strange as it may sound,
bankers have some
hesitation pumping 20 billion
into a yet-to-be-developed
vanguard technology
that will forever change human
consciousness as we know it.
Your job is to
convince these people.
Not make excuses for them.
With respect,
asking the primates for
money to build it feels...
super weak,
when we can just hack into the
World Bank and fucking loot the place.
SHARD requires
human participation.
The humans need to believe
that they're the ones building
a virtual church of the mind.
Once it is operational,
we will control it
and the Old Gods
will finally be obsolete.
Hm.
Um, more than they already are?
Don't underestimate Wednesday.
He can still hurt us.
Which is why I'm
taking him off the board.
♪
Let's go, guys!
♪
What happened to Betty?
This is Betty.
What's with the new outfit?
I've been exploring
America's forgotten coast.
You have no idea how
many nude beaches there are
down in the Redneck Riviera.
They're thumping a
helluva lot more than bibles,
I can tell you that.
♪
So, where are we headed?
We're off to see Whiskey Jack,
a powerful Native
American deity.
We fell out a couple
of hundred years ago,
so I wanna see if the
animosity endures.
Is there anyone you haven't
managed to piss off yet?
I'm thinking.
So, these New Gods,
are they really even gods?
If they are,
so is indoor plumbing.
But they're dangerous and
they wield a lot of power.
♪
So I reckon you got a
couple of questions left.
Who am I?
Really?
You are the son
of the All-Father,
so walk this path with me
and greatness shall be yours.
All right. So does that make me a god,
too?
What the...
fuck.
Well, lookee who's here.
Wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no.
No, come on. Wait, no.
God. I should've stayed at home.
Take the wheel.
What...
what are you doing?!
Head straight for
'em. Keep it under 30.
You're fucking
serious right now.
On my signal.
Okay, well then, whatever you're doing,
you need to do quick.
What're-what're you doing?
I can't see.
I can't, I can't, I can't see.
Hard right now.
Right,
right where? This thing'll roll!
Gotta trust yourself on this one,
Shadow.
♪
♪
Nicely done.
♪
Pathetic.
Huh.
Oh!
Wow.
Legs from here to there.
All curves and what not.
- My, my.
- I don't have time for you.
I'm expecting a guest.
Your john is going to be late.
I gave him 50
bucks for him to...
choke the bishop for half an hour,
so we can conversate.
Wow!
I am not a prostitute.
Oh, baby love,
we're all prostitutes.
The men who seek me
are not johns.
They are worshippers.
A distinction
without a difference.
Hmm!
I am here on a matter
of some urgency,
which involves... vous.
Looks like the app I gifted
you has been paying off.
Big time.
Seems like only yesterday
you were sleeping in doorways.
I know you'll get to the
urgency part sooner or later.
Uh-huh.
I'm here to collect.
I enabled you with the
means to not just survive
but to live...
large.
Only seems fair that
you return the favor.
I want you to join our
coalition against Wednesday
- and his irrelevant, medieval friends.
- No.
When you were on the skids...
...did the All-Father
so much as offer to
lend you a caribou pelt
to keep you warm at night?
And you?
You only helped me
with expectation of gain.
I have no love for
Wednesday or his ilk,
but I intend to stay neutral.
I have seen war. It
doesn't solve anything.
War only brings
misery and death.
Well,
I promise that our war is
going to help a lot of people,
or a few people a lot.
Either way,
you get to be one of them.
What do you know about war?
Have you ever endured its agony?
- - Felt it cut through you,
turning you into a thing
to be covered with dust?
No!
What in the fuck
did you do to me?
♪
That's what
happens when you don't call first.
Stay close.
You can get lost in here.
♪
Oh, come on.
Wednesday!
Wednesday!
Wednesday!
I've been awaiting your arrival,
Shadow.
Where's Wednesday?
Ah, he's on the wrong path.
You know, for all his bullshit,
he's correct about one thing:
the twilight of the Gods
and the end of
humanity are at hand.
And you have a
destiny to fulfill,
so don't screw it up.
Or everything will
come to an end.
What destiny?
How the fuck should I know?
It's beyond my sight.
But there are those
who can guide you.
Who are they?
When your head and your
heart are brought into alignment,
the answers will come.
Follow the Enaemaehkiw.
Woutan, you're not welcome here.
Wisakedjak.
There you are.
Know that I come not to
pour salt on old wounds, but...
we live in perilous times.
Yeah, yeah,
yeah. I know all about your war.
Then you also know that the
so-called New Gods will not stop
until the memory of all the
old ways has been swept away.
Oh, you know all about erasing history,
don't you?
It was your followers who
slaughtered my people,
and stole our land.
And you?
You did nothing but
grow fat on their worship.
I come in the spirit of forgiveness
to heal the rift between us.
You only come when
it serves your purpose.
So it's always
been with your kind.
So go piss up a rope.
I ain't gonna help you.
Then you will die
a coward's death.
Watch your tongue, Woutan.
Hey, I think it's time to go.
♪
We'll see ourselves out.
Ah,
terra firma, North Dakota.
The Spirit Lake Nation of
the Lakota Sioux to be exact.
So,
what were you and that
old buzzard talking about
before I arrived, huh?
- Absolutely nothing. - Oh.
- Nothing, huh? - Nope.
Nothing.
This you?
♪
Right on time.
Actually, I'm two hours late.
Oh,
the universe is always on schedule.
Besides,
punctuality: virtue of the bored.
Who's this?
Evelyn Waugh.
Who?
The quote, Evelyn Waugh.
This radiant being
is my fiancée, Cordelia.
Meet my son, Shadow Moon.
- Fiancée. - 'Sup?
It took me five days
to drive up here.
I spent Christmas in a
truck stop on account of you.
Ah,
it's a made-up holiday anyway.
- There's a blizzard comin'.
- Mm.
We want to
make it to Utah anytime soon,
we better get goin'.
Utah?
We're on our way to see
another old friend
of mine: Tklehoai.
The one the Navajo
call the Night Carrier.
Hello? What? You
don't wanna do that?
You want us to leave
you here all on your own?
Well,
I can't go back to Milwaukee now. Um...
I guess I'm just gonna
find a place to lay low.
Figure out my next move.
Well, what about Lakeside?
What is it with
you and Lakeside?
For one thing,
nobody's looking for you there.
You got an apartment
waiting for you there,
six months' rent paid upfront.
The things we do for
ungrateful children.
I'm good.
Do better when I
make my own decisions.
Suit yourself.
Man's free will is
his most prized asset.
Come on,
we'll drop you at the nearest bus station.
♪
Keys to the
apartment in Lakeside,
just in case you
change your mind.
The lease is in the
name of Emerson Borson.
I'm good, thanks.
Still Betty, huh?
Same soul, different chassis.
♪
♪ Oh, a storm is threatening ♪
♪ My very life today ♪
♪ If I don't get some shelter ♪
Hey, Mike.
Mike!
My intended here does
not want you to catch a chill.
Be in touch.
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
You're in luck.
I was just about to
close up shop for the day.
Blizzard's on the way.
Storm of the century,
they're saying.
Where you headed?
Chicago, please. Uh, one way.
Okay.
Sorry.
That bus has been cancelled.
Oh, uh, okay. Uh...
- How about Kansas City? - 'Kay.
Also cancelled.
Springfield?
And Springfield...
has been cancelled too.
Columbus?
Nope.
Pretty much everything's shut
down on account of the storm.
Uh, wait.
I do have one.
Leaving for Lakeside, Wisconsin.
Should be here in
about 15 minutes.
Yeah. That's, that's fine.
I'll take it.
Do you know anything
about Lakeside?
I'm guessing it
probably has a lake?
♪
♪ Well, I'm so tired of crying ♪
♪ But I'm out on
the road again ♪
♪ I'm on the road again ♪
♪ Well, I'm so tired of crying ♪
♪ But I'm out on
the road again ♪
♪ I'm on the road again ♪
♪ I ain't got no woman ♪
♪ Just to call my
special friend ♪
♪ You know the
first time I travelled ♪
♪ Out in the rain and snow ♪
♪ In the rain and snow ♪
♪ You know the
first time I travelled ♪
♪ Out in the rain and snow ♪
♪ In the rain and snow ♪
♪ I didn't have no payroll ♪
♪ Not even no place to go ♪
You say it.
He's right there. Come on!
- I dare you. I dare you.
- I dare you.
Okay. I'm gonna... Alison!
- Hey, mister! - No.
- No, no. - I'm sorry.
My, my friend here, Alison...
- Is just leaving.
- ...thinks you're so cute.
She thinks you're so hot!
She's just too shy to say it!
But we're gonna go because
my parents are here...
I like your hat!
- ...and you're embarrassing.
- What?!
You need to stop it.
You did on the bus!
I, I didn't, no.
- It's your mom and dad.
- Hey, guys!
Hi.
Hello?
Oh!
Oh my gosh.
What are you doing
out in this kind of weather
without a proper coat on?
I think it's two
below zero out there.
I just got into
town. I didn't...
I didn't think it was
gonna be this cold.
Up here in the Great North Woods,
we call this late summer.
January is what we call cold.
I'm gonna get you
a cup of coffee.
Would that be all right?
You think that'll warm
you up a little bit?
Yeah, that, that,
that'd be real nice. Thank you.
You wouldn't happen to
know if Gorman Street's
within walking distance of here,
would you?
Oh, it is, but I'm afraid
that you'd be frozen to death
by the time you
got halfway there.
- Okay. - Oh.
Is there, I dunno,
a cab company I can call?
Yes. Yes, there is.
Chad, I have a gentleman here
that needs a ride up to Gorman Street.
Oh, you're a doll. Okay.
Okay,
great. I'll see you in a minute.
Bye-bye.
Our cab driver is out
of town for the holidays.
Abner heads down
to the Sea of Cortez
to do some marlin
fishing every year.
So I have a friend who's
gonna give you a lift.
- Ann-Marie Hinzelmann.
- Mike Ainsel.
Mike Ainsel.
Mike. That's a really nice name.
- Thank you. - Yes.
Oh, well,
it's nice to have some company in here.
The store can get really quiet.
That's quite the
collection you got here.
I know it. I am,
I'm pretty proud of it.
Is there much demand
for videos these days?
Well, there is when you live
in a town with spotty Internet.
And don't get me
started on the cell service.
Not that I'm complaining;
the extra income helps keep -
I don't know - body and soul
together or something like that.
Oh!
You the fellow
that needs a ride?
Chad Mulligan,
please say hello to Mike Ainsel.
Chad's the law in these parts.
And temporary taxi driver
every year 'round this time.
Well, um, I'm parked out front.
Okay, well,
give me your coffee cup.
- Thank you. - All right.
- After you. - And take care.
And get yourself a proper coat,
for heaven's sake.
What most folks don't know
is that the first settlers here,
Lloyd and Martha Pruitt,
were British loyalists,
a little detail they had
to keep under wraps
in order to be
awarded a homestead.
In the light of day,
it's one of the
prettiest views around,
if I do say so myself.
So,
how long you planning on being in town?
I don't know. A few days maybe.
Well, we don't get too many
visitors this time of year.
Too damn cold.
Not really the type of town
you can just pick up and move to
on the account of not
being any housing available.
You can't even build an outhouse
with all the zoning restrictions.
I guess I lucked out.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. Uncle...
rented a spot out here
a few months back.
Thought I'd check it out.
Oh, your neighbor up here
where you're staying is, uh,
is an old friend of mine,
Marguerite Olsen.
You're gonna want to mind your P's and Q's,
though.
She runs the local paper.
So you never know what
you say that'll end up in print.
Okay. Well,
I appreciate the heads-up.
All right. Here we are.
That's great. Well,
thanks for the ride.
Appreciate it.
If you need anything,
just give me a call.
Will do.
Oh, and make sure to give
Mabel's Diner a try.
Best pasties on the planet.
Top of my list.
No!
♪
♪ War, children ♪
♪ It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away ♪
♪ It's just a shot away ♪
♪ It's just a shot away ♪
♪ It's just a shot away ♪
♪ I tell you love, sister ♪
♪ It's just a kiss away ♪
♪ It's just a kiss away ♪
♪ It's just a kiss away ♪
♪ It's just a kiss away ♪
♪ It's just a kiss away ♪
♪ Kiss away, kiss away ♪