American Gods (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Episode #2.1 - full transcript
Shadow, We're gonna be
releasing you later this afternoon.
Your wife...
...she died in the early hours
of this morning.
An automobile accident.
I love you, puppy.
I'm a leprechaun.
My lucky coin.
You are pretending you
cannot believe in impossible things.
Give me
my fucking coin, dead wife.
Ah!
I was killed by a god.
Which fucking god?
Wednesday. Oh!
Fuck that guy.
Do you know who he is?
Who he really is?
Shadow Moon.
You're my man, now.
He's hustling you.
He's a hustler.
Hello, Shadow.
- You're working for Wednesday.
- Yeah.
Kill him.
You are on a path...
from nothing to everything.
He does not know our world.
I'm easing him in.
What's a god?
Can we even know they exist?
People believe things.
Which means they're real.
So what came first, gods or the
people who believed in them?
You've done well with me.
Now, you owe.
I'm calling it in.
Mr. Wednesday.
Overdue.
I hear war...
I am...
Odin!
You wanted a war...
...you have one.
Is this real?
Did that just happen?
It's still happening?
Your destination
is on the right.
I know where I'm going!
Dude.
You're a mess.
He could've killed... me.
Show him.
Challenge.
Buroklammer.
Mister...?
World.
I am Mr. World.
Welcome to Black Briar.
I'll destroy the old fucker.
I'm going to take him out.
I'm going to take them all...
out.
No.
We can't move
without preparation,
off balance and unready.
We'll marshal our forces,
and eradicate his paternal stain
from the geriatric tomes
of every decrepit church,
temple,
and back-alley apothecary.
When the time comes...
...the gutters will run black
with ichorous spume,
and the ossuaries
shall overflow with his dust.
This is a time...
for preparation.
I can't sell war
without my best salesman.
You...
...need to find her.
Find Media.
Oh!
Fuck!
Isn't this fun?
I still don't understand
how such a sweet old man
could have so many enemies.
Oh, it's perfectly simple,
my dear. Jealousy.
Pure unmitigated jealousy.
They all want what I have.
A good time, wherever I go.
He's the original good time
that was had by all.
And I get to ride along with you.
I must be the luckiest
girl in the world.
That you are. But it's my bloody
luck you're feeding on, dead wife.
Ow! Fuck!
What is the House on the Rock?
A place where people
come to look, play, and wonder.
Like Disney World.
Dear old Walt.
Built a Magic Kingdom
without any magic.
Whereas in some parts
of Florida, there is real magic.
Oh, remember the mermaids
of Weeki Wachee, Sweeney?
Aye.
Been there
and done several of them.
Who knew they'd be
into that kind of thing, huh?
They're a very
passionate species.
Do you believe
in mermaids now?
I don't know
what I believe in yet.
I guess...
I dunno, I...
I guess I believe in him.
I want to believe in you.
Sixty years ago,
Alex Jordan began
to build a house
on a high spot of rock
in a field he did not even own.
And even more,
he could not have
told you why.
And people came
to see him build it.
The curious and the puzzled,
and those who were neither;
they could not honestly
have told you why they came.
So, he did what any
sensible American male
of his generation would do:
he began to charge them money.
Nothing much.
A nickel. A quarter.
And he kept building,
and the people kept coming.
So, he took those nickels
and quarters
and made something
even bigger and stranger.
He filled the land
beneath the house
with things for people to see,
and they came.
Millions of them every year.
Sorry, Ma'am.
The attraction's closing.
I'll show you out.
You are here for the meeting.
I wasn't formally invited.
Uh. Hallo.
- Salim?
- Hi.
What the fuck
are you doing here?
Do you boys
need a minute?
I need the eyes of Argus
on my side to see my enemies.
Make the connection for me.
Black Briar is
for the use of the president.
The president
is a cardboard cut-out.
I am the man behind the men,
behind the man.
Operation Paperclip.
The moon landing.
Roswell.
The Compton Crack Wars.
You work for me.
You... have always
worked for me.
So when I say
I need to see
through the eyes of Argus,
you make the connection.
Oh, it is indeed a
beautiful Easter Sunday here in the
nation's capital, Tracy.
The East Coast can expect mostly mild
temperatures and sunshine today,
while our friends in Kentucky are still
reeling from a freak weather phenomenon
which has killed thousands of
acres of spring crops.
In other weather news, there seems to
be some trouble brewing out in southern
Wisconsin where a severe
weather...
What's the hold-up, Shadow?
You're a god, but you can't
open a fucking gate.
You just give me a minute?
You want me to bust it,
Shadow? I can.
Wha...?
Mad Sweeney?
Is that you?
Or is that Wednesday's bullshit
I smell?
A keen nose,
Mr. Fancypants.
But that ain't Irish
sexy you're smelling.
It's Roadkill Rhonda over here.
Nancy!
So, who'd you bring me?
John Henry?
No, choo-choo train.
No John Henry. You know that.
Oh, Whiskey Jack?
No whiskey.
No Whiskey Jack.
- Not even the rabbit?
- Ha!
You are persona non grata in the rabbit
community. I think you know why.
So, Easter told me to tell you
she ain't coming
on account of you mowing
over bunnies with your car
like some kinda
fucking rabbit racist.
Shadow Moon!
Did I or did I not just thrust
your rusty butt
into bespoke haberdashery
just a few days ago?
You're very welcome
to come to the house,
but you're not
invited to the party.
Oh, I'm just keeping an eye
on my husband.
Well, look at him.
He's got a spring in his step
he didn't have
when he left prison.
Which is strange
since his wife was murdered.
Highways can be
very dangerous places.
If it's any comfort, I know
what it's like to be dead.
I once sacrificed myself
for knowledge.
I-I hung on the great tree,
Yggdrasil,
for nine days and nine nights.
And look at you now,
all alive.
And I learned a great deal.
You don't have
to be roadkill forever.
I'm sure we can come
to an arrangement.
Fuck you and your glass eye.
- Find your coin?
- No such luck.
But I did pick up some trash
along the way.
Figured you might want
your treasure back.
It seems like you found
your lucky charm.
You sound like a man who'd fight to
get back into those maggoty panties.
You sure that's what you want?
I gave you the freedom
to do anything you wanted.
To go anywhere you wanted.
Why are you here?
This is my anywhere.
I'm following my heart.
But you're not using
your head, Salim.
I am a Jinn.
You are a mortal man.
And yet you need me.
You desire me.
What I desire is to do my job.
This is not a safe place.
Not tonight.
Please, Salim.
Go.
I do not grant wishes.
Hey, Salim-not-Salim.
It is... showtime.
Do I know you? Hubal?
Manat?
No, uh, my name is Salim.
I am with him.
Oh...
So, tell me, do we have
a full house?
I showed them to the carousel,
as you requested.
- How many?
- A dozen, perhaps. No more.
It'll be enough
to light the fire.
There is one...
who was not invited.
Shadow.
- Can't ride without a coin.
- Oh, feck off. Give us a coin now.
She's not on my list,
nor are you.
Come on, shit-for-brains!
You know me!
I'm working for your man!
He was most specific...
about you.
Anansi.
You invited the Old Gods
to your party?
I was old in the desert
before they sacrificed
the first horse to you.
I will be heard.
Unless you are afraid.
The wit and wisdom of Queen
Bilquis defeated King Solomon.
At the start of any new quest
for adventure,
it behooves us to consult
the Norns,
our foretellers of destiny.
After you, Your Majesty.
Oh, that's a good one.
What's it say?
A man's fortune
is his own business, Shadow.
Nobody's sharing?
"Every ending
is a new beginning.
Your lucky number is none.
Your lucky color is dead.
Motto: Like father, like son."
Oh, like all fortunes, Shadow:
opaque on arrival,
inevitable in retrospect.
Shall we?
It's a motherfuckin' fortune
from a fuckin' wax dummy.
Dummy!
Apparently,
the houses in this area
were built by some skinny white
motherfucker named Frank Lloyd Wright.
Some say his evil twin brother
built this one:
Frank Lloyd Wrong.
Another skinny
white motherfucker.
You carry on, Nancy.
I'll catch up with you all
at the Raven.
Indeed.
Zorya Vechernyaya,
evening star,
lady of the sunset.
Do you know
how beautiful you look?
I am old.
Your tongue
is a wicked thing.
We're both old.
But nobody's ever complained
about my tongue.
You make me young again.
Forget your foolish war!
There will be better times
in the days to come.
I promise you that.
How was your bank robbery,
huh?
It got you here, Czernobog.
And I'm grateful
that you are here.
I'll need your wisdom as well as
your hammer before we're through.
I'm not here because of you.
I'm here because I lost
a game of checkers to your boy.
Will you join me backstage?
I come in my own time.
I want to hear the music.
It's...
disgusting.
Enjoy.
You wanna dance?
You're a big one.
Built like a brick shithouse.
Twenty-eight-inch shoulders;
long, lean lines.
But your posture's for shit.
Been hunchin' over
your whole life.
When you take a man's
measurements,
you get a bill
for his life expenses.
Little Shadow Moon
was a shrimpy little kid...
roughed around
on the block until what...
14, you put on two feet
and 60 pounds?
Fifteen.
Still 15 on the inside though,
ain't you, boy?
You know, I got a son,
stupid as a man who bought his
stupid at a two-for-one sale.
You remind me of him.
All right,
well, if you don't mind,
I'll just take that
as a compliment.
Being called late
than a motherfucker
on the day they handed out
brains is a compliment to you?
Being compared
to a member of your family.
You might not be the worst choice old
One-Eye could have made, come to that.
Hey, I want a fortune.
All the people coming to your
boss's thing are already here.
- Gimme a coin.
- No, and I told you two to get the fuck out.
- No, no, you don't want to make her upset.
I have seen what she can do.
Actually, you haven't
even seen like the tiniest-
Just give the fucking
corpse a coin.
- It's broken.
- A broken fortune?
It-it's blank.
Maybe it's because
you are dead.
You don't have any more fortune
I'll write one for you.
In the very near future,
you give the fuckin'
leprechaun his coin back,
lie down, and rot.
Wanna try your luck?
All my luck is yours,
dead wife.
Don't need to read about it.
Just break the fuckin' machine.
So, over the
centuries, people in other countries
felt called to places of power.
They knew there was an energy
there, a focus point, a-a channel.
A window to the Immanent.
And they built churches,
cathedrals,
or they'd, they'd erect a stone
circle. Well, you get the idea.
Yeah, but there's churches
all through the States.
No, in the good old USA,
people still heed the call
of the transcendent void,
but they respond to it by building
a model out of beer bottles
of somewhere
they've never visited,
or by erecting
a giant bat house
in some part of the country that bats
have traditionally declined to visit.
Or they sell T-shirts
and hotdogs.
Roadside attractions!
Where they buy that hotdog
and they buy that T-shirt.
And then they wander around
feeling satisfied on a level
that they cannot truly describe,
and profoundly dissatisfied
on a level beneath that.
You know, you have got some
pretty whacked-out theories.
Nothing theoretical about it,
you should know that by now.
Time... to ride.
Feel the power, Shadow.
Like a prayer wheel going round
and round, accumulating power.
Gazed upon by the faithful.
If you follow the signs, you'll
never have any mother-fucking fun!
Won't you join us, Shadow?
I'll keep you safe.
You having fun yet, Shadow?
Ride 'em Nancy.
Where the fuck am I now?
How long was I out for?
I'm dreaming.
It is real.
We're just backstage.
Waiting in the wings.
Inside Wednesday's memories.
All right, so, you... what...
you're saying we're in his head?
More or less.
Wait! But I can... I can feel the cold.
I-I can smell the air.
Of course.
If this meeting were being held
in my head, it would be warm.
The breeze from the incense
markets would be intoxicating.
There would be hanging gardens
and golden ziggurats...
and silken beds
in which to make love.
Time for a story!
'Cause sometimes,
people need reminding
of things.
We have been fighting...
since the Portuguese invaded
the Gold Coast of Ghana!
We stay at war.
And just because we are few
and they are many,
does not mean
that we are lost!
When people
first came to America...
they brought us with you.
Me, Loki, Thor, Nancy...
the Lion-God, all of you.
We rode in their minds
and took root.
But gradually, they abandoned us
for a better deal.
A new life in a new land.
Our true believers passed away,
or stopped believing.
Left us to fend
for ourselves,
to get by
on what little smidgens
of belief or worship
we could find.
And that's what we've done.
We've gotten by.
We live in cracks
at the edges of society.
Old, forgotten Gods...
in a land without Gods.
But there are New Gods
growing in America.
They've already replaced us.
Now they want
to destroy us, completely,
and if you think otherwise,
you are fooling yourselves.
You want us to go to war?
You called everyone here
for this nonsense?
Most of us have lived in peace
in this country for a long time.
I have seen the New Gods rise.
I have seen them fall!
- I say we wait.
- Czernobog is with us.
He has brought his hammer
to the fight.
Yeah, when the time is right,
my hammer will swing.
And we will need it.
Believe me, these New Gods
are not going anywhere soon.
From one God of War
to another...
when I look out my window,
I see no battlefields.
I hear no war cries.
Then you are not
looking hard enough, Mama-ji.
Odin's right.
These New Gods
have more followers,
more attention,
more power
than we ever did.
Where he is wrong...
is in thinking
this is a bad thing.
They showed me
how to use their tools.
Now I can bring my message
directly to my people.
I accept my worship, my way.
And I grow in power.
The choice is yours.
Evolve or die.
I believe him.
I lost everyone.
Everyone that I...
I ever cared about.
Everything I knew.
To a point where I...
I forgot who I was.
Lost my light.
That's what my mom
would've said.
But Wednesday...
Odin...
...is helping me remember.
He's giving me the chance
to, to be worthy
of, of that unwavering faith
and belief
that-that my mother
once had in me. And...
it sounds to me like he's
offering you the same thing.
So, why won't you just
let him help you?
Just help him.
Help him remind the people
who you are!
Regain the faith
of your Creator
and just take the chance!
Take the chance
to be worthy of their belief.
Shadow Moon.
To be continued in what
some call the real world.
I think
we're winning them over.
You could be my closer, kid.
Did that happen?
Did what happen?
Did we ride the carousel?
What fucking carousel?
Seriously, are-are you not
worried about cancer?
I am...
cancer.
You know what?
I like cigarettes
because they remind me
of the offerings that they
once burned in my honor.
The smoke... mmm...
rising up to the sky
as they begged
for my approval, my favor.
So, is everyone in here a God?
- A God?
- Yeah.
These are all idiots.
You see, I'm here because I
lost a game of checkers to you.
Hey, listen...
I've been thinking...
thinking good.
Why don't we make it
best of three?
What do you say?
Then, I kill you.
I go home. Is good, right?
So, what's your story?
What makes you think
I have a story?
You aren't eating or drinking. Wednesday's
not trying to sell you anything.
- Yeah, well, I'm just...
- The most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
What are you?
A Hungarian goddess of death?
I'm from Eagle Point, Indiana.
Sounds beautiful.
What's your name,
Eagle Point?
Laura. Laura Moon.
The same name
as the bodyguard.
Yeah, he's my husband.
If you hurt him,
I will kill you.
I could have tracked 'em
for you.
I need her
to feel complicity.
Blah, blah, blah.
Fuck 'em up already.
Recover the package.
This is... so fucking weird.
Yeah.
You know, I... I...
I really didn't think I was ever going
to see you again outside of a dream.
I can always see you.
I could be blindfolded
and dropped into the ocean
and I would know
where you were.
What was backstage?
I don't know. I mean...
I mean, we-we went somewhere
and-and we-we tried
to sell these folks
on-on a war that
they don't want to fight.
You know, but there's-there's
something special going on here,
and I feel a part of it.
He is dangerous.
- Laura...
- I need you to believe that.
I need you to
believe in us.
Hey, Shadow! I want you to come
over here and meet Mama-ji!
Biggest, badass demon killer
this side of Ranchipoor.
Shadow.
I'll be back.
I guess we all make
our choices.
He's not choosing.
That's not my Puppy.
My Puppy wanted
his nine-to-five at the gym
and Sundays in bed with me.
Your Puppy's gone.
He's Wednesday's now.
No, he's still mine.
Hurts when someone
takes what's yours.
Doesn't it?
130-
7925.
Never, ever let anyone know
I said this.
But, sometimes...
the old ways are the best.
There's nothing like a knife
in the back...
for close-up efficiency.
And I need to put
the fear of me...
into some Old Gods.
Let them feel shock and awe...
pain and grief.
Let them know
what real sacrifice...
feels like.
Laura, get down!
No!
You are such...
a bad good man.
I do not...
wish to...
...say goodbye.
Whoever did this, I curse.
I curse you!
I curse you
with the Czernobog's curse!
Fuck you, and fuck your mother,
and fuck that fucking horse
that you rode in on.
You will not even die
in a battle.
No warrior
will taste your blood.
No one alive
will take your life.
She will find you...
and you will die with a
sweet kiss on your lips...
and eternal darkness
in your soul.
Is this what it takes?
Is this what it takes?
Fuck!
releasing you later this afternoon.
Your wife...
...she died in the early hours
of this morning.
An automobile accident.
I love you, puppy.
I'm a leprechaun.
My lucky coin.
You are pretending you
cannot believe in impossible things.
Give me
my fucking coin, dead wife.
Ah!
I was killed by a god.
Which fucking god?
Wednesday. Oh!
Fuck that guy.
Do you know who he is?
Who he really is?
Shadow Moon.
You're my man, now.
He's hustling you.
He's a hustler.
Hello, Shadow.
- You're working for Wednesday.
- Yeah.
Kill him.
You are on a path...
from nothing to everything.
He does not know our world.
I'm easing him in.
What's a god?
Can we even know they exist?
People believe things.
Which means they're real.
So what came first, gods or the
people who believed in them?
You've done well with me.
Now, you owe.
I'm calling it in.
Mr. Wednesday.
Overdue.
I hear war...
I am...
Odin!
You wanted a war...
...you have one.
Is this real?
Did that just happen?
It's still happening?
Your destination
is on the right.
I know where I'm going!
Dude.
You're a mess.
He could've killed... me.
Show him.
Challenge.
Buroklammer.
Mister...?
World.
I am Mr. World.
Welcome to Black Briar.
I'll destroy the old fucker.
I'm going to take him out.
I'm going to take them all...
out.
No.
We can't move
without preparation,
off balance and unready.
We'll marshal our forces,
and eradicate his paternal stain
from the geriatric tomes
of every decrepit church,
temple,
and back-alley apothecary.
When the time comes...
...the gutters will run black
with ichorous spume,
and the ossuaries
shall overflow with his dust.
This is a time...
for preparation.
I can't sell war
without my best salesman.
You...
...need to find her.
Find Media.
Oh!
Fuck!
Isn't this fun?
I still don't understand
how such a sweet old man
could have so many enemies.
Oh, it's perfectly simple,
my dear. Jealousy.
Pure unmitigated jealousy.
They all want what I have.
A good time, wherever I go.
He's the original good time
that was had by all.
And I get to ride along with you.
I must be the luckiest
girl in the world.
That you are. But it's my bloody
luck you're feeding on, dead wife.
Ow! Fuck!
What is the House on the Rock?
A place where people
come to look, play, and wonder.
Like Disney World.
Dear old Walt.
Built a Magic Kingdom
without any magic.
Whereas in some parts
of Florida, there is real magic.
Oh, remember the mermaids
of Weeki Wachee, Sweeney?
Aye.
Been there
and done several of them.
Who knew they'd be
into that kind of thing, huh?
They're a very
passionate species.
Do you believe
in mermaids now?
I don't know
what I believe in yet.
I guess...
I dunno, I...
I guess I believe in him.
I want to believe in you.
Sixty years ago,
Alex Jordan began
to build a house
on a high spot of rock
in a field he did not even own.
And even more,
he could not have
told you why.
And people came
to see him build it.
The curious and the puzzled,
and those who were neither;
they could not honestly
have told you why they came.
So, he did what any
sensible American male
of his generation would do:
he began to charge them money.
Nothing much.
A nickel. A quarter.
And he kept building,
and the people kept coming.
So, he took those nickels
and quarters
and made something
even bigger and stranger.
He filled the land
beneath the house
with things for people to see,
and they came.
Millions of them every year.
Sorry, Ma'am.
The attraction's closing.
I'll show you out.
You are here for the meeting.
I wasn't formally invited.
Uh. Hallo.
- Salim?
- Hi.
What the fuck
are you doing here?
Do you boys
need a minute?
I need the eyes of Argus
on my side to see my enemies.
Make the connection for me.
Black Briar is
for the use of the president.
The president
is a cardboard cut-out.
I am the man behind the men,
behind the man.
Operation Paperclip.
The moon landing.
Roswell.
The Compton Crack Wars.
You work for me.
You... have always
worked for me.
So when I say
I need to see
through the eyes of Argus,
you make the connection.
Oh, it is indeed a
beautiful Easter Sunday here in the
nation's capital, Tracy.
The East Coast can expect mostly mild
temperatures and sunshine today,
while our friends in Kentucky are still
reeling from a freak weather phenomenon
which has killed thousands of
acres of spring crops.
In other weather news, there seems to
be some trouble brewing out in southern
Wisconsin where a severe
weather...
What's the hold-up, Shadow?
You're a god, but you can't
open a fucking gate.
You just give me a minute?
You want me to bust it,
Shadow? I can.
Wha...?
Mad Sweeney?
Is that you?
Or is that Wednesday's bullshit
I smell?
A keen nose,
Mr. Fancypants.
But that ain't Irish
sexy you're smelling.
It's Roadkill Rhonda over here.
Nancy!
So, who'd you bring me?
John Henry?
No, choo-choo train.
No John Henry. You know that.
Oh, Whiskey Jack?
No whiskey.
No Whiskey Jack.
- Not even the rabbit?
- Ha!
You are persona non grata in the rabbit
community. I think you know why.
So, Easter told me to tell you
she ain't coming
on account of you mowing
over bunnies with your car
like some kinda
fucking rabbit racist.
Shadow Moon!
Did I or did I not just thrust
your rusty butt
into bespoke haberdashery
just a few days ago?
You're very welcome
to come to the house,
but you're not
invited to the party.
Oh, I'm just keeping an eye
on my husband.
Well, look at him.
He's got a spring in his step
he didn't have
when he left prison.
Which is strange
since his wife was murdered.
Highways can be
very dangerous places.
If it's any comfort, I know
what it's like to be dead.
I once sacrificed myself
for knowledge.
I-I hung on the great tree,
Yggdrasil,
for nine days and nine nights.
And look at you now,
all alive.
And I learned a great deal.
You don't have
to be roadkill forever.
I'm sure we can come
to an arrangement.
Fuck you and your glass eye.
- Find your coin?
- No such luck.
But I did pick up some trash
along the way.
Figured you might want
your treasure back.
It seems like you found
your lucky charm.
You sound like a man who'd fight to
get back into those maggoty panties.
You sure that's what you want?
I gave you the freedom
to do anything you wanted.
To go anywhere you wanted.
Why are you here?
This is my anywhere.
I'm following my heart.
But you're not using
your head, Salim.
I am a Jinn.
You are a mortal man.
And yet you need me.
You desire me.
What I desire is to do my job.
This is not a safe place.
Not tonight.
Please, Salim.
Go.
I do not grant wishes.
Hey, Salim-not-Salim.
It is... showtime.
Do I know you? Hubal?
Manat?
No, uh, my name is Salim.
I am with him.
Oh...
So, tell me, do we have
a full house?
I showed them to the carousel,
as you requested.
- How many?
- A dozen, perhaps. No more.
It'll be enough
to light the fire.
There is one...
who was not invited.
Shadow.
- Can't ride without a coin.
- Oh, feck off. Give us a coin now.
She's not on my list,
nor are you.
Come on, shit-for-brains!
You know me!
I'm working for your man!
He was most specific...
about you.
Anansi.
You invited the Old Gods
to your party?
I was old in the desert
before they sacrificed
the first horse to you.
I will be heard.
Unless you are afraid.
The wit and wisdom of Queen
Bilquis defeated King Solomon.
At the start of any new quest
for adventure,
it behooves us to consult
the Norns,
our foretellers of destiny.
After you, Your Majesty.
Oh, that's a good one.
What's it say?
A man's fortune
is his own business, Shadow.
Nobody's sharing?
"Every ending
is a new beginning.
Your lucky number is none.
Your lucky color is dead.
Motto: Like father, like son."
Oh, like all fortunes, Shadow:
opaque on arrival,
inevitable in retrospect.
Shall we?
It's a motherfuckin' fortune
from a fuckin' wax dummy.
Dummy!
Apparently,
the houses in this area
were built by some skinny white
motherfucker named Frank Lloyd Wright.
Some say his evil twin brother
built this one:
Frank Lloyd Wrong.
Another skinny
white motherfucker.
You carry on, Nancy.
I'll catch up with you all
at the Raven.
Indeed.
Zorya Vechernyaya,
evening star,
lady of the sunset.
Do you know
how beautiful you look?
I am old.
Your tongue
is a wicked thing.
We're both old.
But nobody's ever complained
about my tongue.
You make me young again.
Forget your foolish war!
There will be better times
in the days to come.
I promise you that.
How was your bank robbery,
huh?
It got you here, Czernobog.
And I'm grateful
that you are here.
I'll need your wisdom as well as
your hammer before we're through.
I'm not here because of you.
I'm here because I lost
a game of checkers to your boy.
Will you join me backstage?
I come in my own time.
I want to hear the music.
It's...
disgusting.
Enjoy.
You wanna dance?
You're a big one.
Built like a brick shithouse.
Twenty-eight-inch shoulders;
long, lean lines.
But your posture's for shit.
Been hunchin' over
your whole life.
When you take a man's
measurements,
you get a bill
for his life expenses.
Little Shadow Moon
was a shrimpy little kid...
roughed around
on the block until what...
14, you put on two feet
and 60 pounds?
Fifteen.
Still 15 on the inside though,
ain't you, boy?
You know, I got a son,
stupid as a man who bought his
stupid at a two-for-one sale.
You remind me of him.
All right,
well, if you don't mind,
I'll just take that
as a compliment.
Being called late
than a motherfucker
on the day they handed out
brains is a compliment to you?
Being compared
to a member of your family.
You might not be the worst choice old
One-Eye could have made, come to that.
Hey, I want a fortune.
All the people coming to your
boss's thing are already here.
- Gimme a coin.
- No, and I told you two to get the fuck out.
- No, no, you don't want to make her upset.
I have seen what she can do.
Actually, you haven't
even seen like the tiniest-
Just give the fucking
corpse a coin.
- It's broken.
- A broken fortune?
It-it's blank.
Maybe it's because
you are dead.
You don't have any more fortune
I'll write one for you.
In the very near future,
you give the fuckin'
leprechaun his coin back,
lie down, and rot.
Wanna try your luck?
All my luck is yours,
dead wife.
Don't need to read about it.
Just break the fuckin' machine.
So, over the
centuries, people in other countries
felt called to places of power.
They knew there was an energy
there, a focus point, a-a channel.
A window to the Immanent.
And they built churches,
cathedrals,
or they'd, they'd erect a stone
circle. Well, you get the idea.
Yeah, but there's churches
all through the States.
No, in the good old USA,
people still heed the call
of the transcendent void,
but they respond to it by building
a model out of beer bottles
of somewhere
they've never visited,
or by erecting
a giant bat house
in some part of the country that bats
have traditionally declined to visit.
Or they sell T-shirts
and hotdogs.
Roadside attractions!
Where they buy that hotdog
and they buy that T-shirt.
And then they wander around
feeling satisfied on a level
that they cannot truly describe,
and profoundly dissatisfied
on a level beneath that.
You know, you have got some
pretty whacked-out theories.
Nothing theoretical about it,
you should know that by now.
Time... to ride.
Feel the power, Shadow.
Like a prayer wheel going round
and round, accumulating power.
Gazed upon by the faithful.
If you follow the signs, you'll
never have any mother-fucking fun!
Won't you join us, Shadow?
I'll keep you safe.
You having fun yet, Shadow?
Ride 'em Nancy.
Where the fuck am I now?
How long was I out for?
I'm dreaming.
It is real.
We're just backstage.
Waiting in the wings.
Inside Wednesday's memories.
All right, so, you... what...
you're saying we're in his head?
More or less.
Wait! But I can... I can feel the cold.
I-I can smell the air.
Of course.
If this meeting were being held
in my head, it would be warm.
The breeze from the incense
markets would be intoxicating.
There would be hanging gardens
and golden ziggurats...
and silken beds
in which to make love.
Time for a story!
'Cause sometimes,
people need reminding
of things.
We have been fighting...
since the Portuguese invaded
the Gold Coast of Ghana!
We stay at war.
And just because we are few
and they are many,
does not mean
that we are lost!
When people
first came to America...
they brought us with you.
Me, Loki, Thor, Nancy...
the Lion-God, all of you.
We rode in their minds
and took root.
But gradually, they abandoned us
for a better deal.
A new life in a new land.
Our true believers passed away,
or stopped believing.
Left us to fend
for ourselves,
to get by
on what little smidgens
of belief or worship
we could find.
And that's what we've done.
We've gotten by.
We live in cracks
at the edges of society.
Old, forgotten Gods...
in a land without Gods.
But there are New Gods
growing in America.
They've already replaced us.
Now they want
to destroy us, completely,
and if you think otherwise,
you are fooling yourselves.
You want us to go to war?
You called everyone here
for this nonsense?
Most of us have lived in peace
in this country for a long time.
I have seen the New Gods rise.
I have seen them fall!
- I say we wait.
- Czernobog is with us.
He has brought his hammer
to the fight.
Yeah, when the time is right,
my hammer will swing.
And we will need it.
Believe me, these New Gods
are not going anywhere soon.
From one God of War
to another...
when I look out my window,
I see no battlefields.
I hear no war cries.
Then you are not
looking hard enough, Mama-ji.
Odin's right.
These New Gods
have more followers,
more attention,
more power
than we ever did.
Where he is wrong...
is in thinking
this is a bad thing.
They showed me
how to use their tools.
Now I can bring my message
directly to my people.
I accept my worship, my way.
And I grow in power.
The choice is yours.
Evolve or die.
I believe him.
I lost everyone.
Everyone that I...
I ever cared about.
Everything I knew.
To a point where I...
I forgot who I was.
Lost my light.
That's what my mom
would've said.
But Wednesday...
Odin...
...is helping me remember.
He's giving me the chance
to, to be worthy
of, of that unwavering faith
and belief
that-that my mother
once had in me. And...
it sounds to me like he's
offering you the same thing.
So, why won't you just
let him help you?
Just help him.
Help him remind the people
who you are!
Regain the faith
of your Creator
and just take the chance!
Take the chance
to be worthy of their belief.
Shadow Moon.
To be continued in what
some call the real world.
I think
we're winning them over.
You could be my closer, kid.
Did that happen?
Did what happen?
Did we ride the carousel?
What fucking carousel?
Seriously, are-are you not
worried about cancer?
I am...
cancer.
You know what?
I like cigarettes
because they remind me
of the offerings that they
once burned in my honor.
The smoke... mmm...
rising up to the sky
as they begged
for my approval, my favor.
So, is everyone in here a God?
- A God?
- Yeah.
These are all idiots.
You see, I'm here because I
lost a game of checkers to you.
Hey, listen...
I've been thinking...
thinking good.
Why don't we make it
best of three?
What do you say?
Then, I kill you.
I go home. Is good, right?
So, what's your story?
What makes you think
I have a story?
You aren't eating or drinking. Wednesday's
not trying to sell you anything.
- Yeah, well, I'm just...
- The most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
What are you?
A Hungarian goddess of death?
I'm from Eagle Point, Indiana.
Sounds beautiful.
What's your name,
Eagle Point?
Laura. Laura Moon.
The same name
as the bodyguard.
Yeah, he's my husband.
If you hurt him,
I will kill you.
I could have tracked 'em
for you.
I need her
to feel complicity.
Blah, blah, blah.
Fuck 'em up already.
Recover the package.
This is... so fucking weird.
Yeah.
You know, I... I...
I really didn't think I was ever going
to see you again outside of a dream.
I can always see you.
I could be blindfolded
and dropped into the ocean
and I would know
where you were.
What was backstage?
I don't know. I mean...
I mean, we-we went somewhere
and-and we-we tried
to sell these folks
on-on a war that
they don't want to fight.
You know, but there's-there's
something special going on here,
and I feel a part of it.
He is dangerous.
- Laura...
- I need you to believe that.
I need you to
believe in us.
Hey, Shadow! I want you to come
over here and meet Mama-ji!
Biggest, badass demon killer
this side of Ranchipoor.
Shadow.
I'll be back.
I guess we all make
our choices.
He's not choosing.
That's not my Puppy.
My Puppy wanted
his nine-to-five at the gym
and Sundays in bed with me.
Your Puppy's gone.
He's Wednesday's now.
No, he's still mine.
Hurts when someone
takes what's yours.
Doesn't it?
130-
7925.
Never, ever let anyone know
I said this.
But, sometimes...
the old ways are the best.
There's nothing like a knife
in the back...
for close-up efficiency.
And I need to put
the fear of me...
into some Old Gods.
Let them feel shock and awe...
pain and grief.
Let them know
what real sacrifice...
feels like.
Laura, get down!
No!
You are such...
a bad good man.
I do not...
wish to...
...say goodbye.
Whoever did this, I curse.
I curse you!
I curse you
with the Czernobog's curse!
Fuck you, and fuck your mother,
and fuck that fucking horse
that you rode in on.
You will not even die
in a battle.
No warrior
will taste your blood.
No one alive
will take your life.
She will find you...
and you will die with a
sweet kiss on your lips...
and eternal darkness
in your soul.
Is this what it takes?
Is this what it takes?
Fuck!