American Gods (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - The Beguiling Man - full transcript

Time for a story.

'Cause sometimes,

people need reminding
of things.

Help him remind
the people who you are.

The choice is yours.

Evolve...

...or die.

I guess
I believe in him.

I wanna believe in you.

Zorya Vechernyaya...

Do you know how beautiful
you look?



Your tongue
is a wicked thing.

Nobody's ever complained
about my tongue.

I can't sell war
without my best salesman.

Find Media...

Let them know
what real sacrifice...

...feels like.

Shadow!

Is this what it takes?

Is this... what it takes?

My name is Mr. Town.

Where am I?

No, the question, Shadow,
isn't "where."

It's "why?"

This is not good.



There's... much to be done.

The bell must ring.
Mirrors covered.

Windows opened.
We must sprinkle the holy salt-

Czernobog.
We will summon the next Zorya.

Votan!

You let the dust
of the old star

slip right through
your fingers, huh?

There are no more believers
left for Zorya.

So there will be
no more life for her.

But I know a new star

will soon rise from the horizon.

And the hound's gate
will rest

in the hands of this newborn star.

We must pray that
she's up to the task.

If not,

this country will be
barren of believers.

First a whimper,
then a crescendo.

You will have your vengeance,
my friends.

When my hammer swings,

the earth will tremble...

...the mountains will break,
and the ocean will rise,

and our enemies
will be banished

to the deepest darkness
of the nine hells.

Votan...

this country... is no good.

You have your war, Grimnir.

Mama-ji, you hear the battle cries.
May I count on your blades?

You brought the fight
to my doorstep.

I have no choice but
to resume the lopping of heads,

drinking of blood,
and liberating of souls.

That is, if I can swap
my weekend shift with Arjun.

Hey, what's the plan?

This is so stupid.
We're wasting time.

Oh, let 'em lament.

Shadow was taken.

We don't have time for a
fucking wake in a parking lot.

Might be no coming back
for that one.

Yeah, no shit. She's dead.

Dead does not seem to be as
final as you are implying.

Ifrit, Grimnir needs you
in Mitchell, at the Corn Palace;

ask for Old Iktomi.

To what end?

Gungnir.

Gungnir?

His fucking spear.

You're getting Fire-eyes and the fairy
to fetch your fucking spear for ya?

What do you plan to do
about Shadow?

He'll be fine. Great battles
require great preparation.

And sacrifice to you.

You don't give a shit
about him.

Oh, I very much give a shit.

Just have faith in your man.

My favorite Tammy Wynette
song. Shotgun!

Oh, now Spiderman's
ridin' with ya?

You keep givin' away
my fucking seats.

What happened
to our arrangement?

Well, you two make
such a great pair,

it seems a shame
to split you up.

And Laura seems to feel
Shadow needs saving,

so go help save Shadow.

I will not be dyin' in battle
over Shadow fucking Moon.

A problem of your own making.

You are the biggest,
most unlucky leprechaun

- I have ever met!
- Bugger off!

Bugger yourself off, bitch!

What a cunt.

Allahu Akbar.

Do you need money?
For the bus?

- I'm coming with you.
- No.

Where Wednesday wants
me to go is dangerous.

Then why risk your
life for him?

Allah would not want you
to sacrifice for Wednesday.

I believe in what I'm doing
even if you do not.

You're not coming with me?

Nope, I'm goin' with my coin.

Grimnir's takin' up arms.

That means
there's a battle at hand.

And you're fucking crazy if you think
I'm going to war without my luck.

Well, I guess you should
steal us a car, then.

You do the pickin',
I'll do the pluckin'.

If you get in my way,

the gods are gonna be
planning your funeral.

Best they already are, love.

Best they already are.

We couldn't find any records

of any family

other than your mother
and your late wife.

You know what that makes you,
Shadow? Hm?

Just another bastard.

A nobody. A nobody
who went to prison

for a botched casino heist
and aggravated assault.

Now...

I know they had guns
on your wife.

So, does that make the career
criminal a-a good guy?

Although, not quite
good enough, apparently,

because you couldn't keep
your wife

from sucking
your best friend's cock.

You want to stay in your lane.

You're one tough
motherfucker, Shadow Moon.

I'll give you that.

Is that why Cargo needs you?
Hmm?

I don't know who the fuck
Cargo is.

He calls himself All-Father.

Grimm.

He goes by the name...
Wednesday.

And you, my friend, you've been
traveling with him for weeks.

I'm just a bodyguard, okay?

He doesn't tell me anything.

Let me ask you a question.
When somebody...

when somebody tells you to rob a casino,
or a bank, then you do it.

When someone tells you to join the Old
Gods in a secret war against the New Gods,

then you do it.

You are always just going
with the flow, Shadow.

And I need to know, why?
Why the fuck is that?

Hmm?

Curious spirit.

It could be, Shadow,

that you have forgotten
how to tell the truth.

Now that's a mighty woman
with a torch.

She was a Roman
goddess. Libertas.

"Give me your tired, your poor, your
huddled masses yearning to be free."

France gave her
to the founders,

same as they gave democracy.

And pulled America's butt out
of the fire in the Revolution.

We've paid 'em back.

You're not French, Shadow.
Don't forget that.

Yeah, a home,
I don't know.

I had to leave
to spread her message.

So, why is this
my first time back?

Her dream isn't for us.

Liberty can't help but judge us
by the color of our skin.

The history
we remind them of.

Doesn't have to be like that.

Scientists call it hormesis.

A little bit of poison
to make you stronger.

Your light is strong,
my beautiful son.

I don't think
I'm gonna like it here.

One summer.

Then we're back
on the world tour.

You know, you could show a little
gratitude every now and then.

- Might improve your luck.
- I don't believe in luck.

- I don't. I'm an atheist.
- Ugh.

God, is a fairy tale
for grown-ups.

Well, you're in the fairy tale
now, aren't ya?

He is definitely moving.

Turn here.

You things are not gods,
by the way.

You're made by people.

People who need answers

and they're too fucking lazy
to look for them themselves.

I mean, who the fuck
ever needed a leprechaun?

You take and you take
and you take

and what do you give back
to people? Nothing.

You are monsters under the bed,
just fucking with human lives.

Pot, kettle, black!

And God didn't fuck up your life; you did
a great job of that all by yourself.

Well, it was my life
to fuck up!

Indeed it was, and you fucked
the shit out of it, didn't ya?

Fucked up your husband's life
as well.

Got him sent to prison.

And then, when he was payin'
his penance for you,

ya sucked all over
his best friend's knob.

I don't know what
kind of syphilitic time period

spawned leprechauns,

but in my world, infidelity does
not warrant a death sentence.

Where I'm from,
it's the greatest sin.

- To betray your sworn true love is the crime of a coward...
- Cow.

You're welcome.

Fuck!

It's unfortunate that
none of your compatriots

were moved by your pitch,
Queen Bilquis.

It was beautiful. Elegant.

Everything that you are.

Your attack will only work
against you.

Make it easier for Odin

to convince those who were
on the fence to join his cause.

The Old Gods will scatter,

hiding their heads
in the depths.

Only to sprout anew
and find me waiting.

The way to kill
Wednesday's hydra

is to lasso their necks

and chop them all at once.

Miss and they will
come back stronger.

The ghost of Zorya
Vechernyaya knows

that Mr. World doesn't miss.

I have no place
on your battlefield.

Love is the most powerful
weapon of war.

War tears lovers asunder.

Love and war may sit
on opposite sides of a coin,

but only so they may
never meet.

I will not fight for you.

The Old Gods see you
as a traitor.

Complicit in the death
of their kin.

And you shun the gods
of progress,

so I wonder,

if you don't choose a side,

will you be trampled by both?

Damn it.

You gonna fold that
or fuck it?

I'm gonna fuck it.

Aaah!

You know,
Mr. World wants to know why

Mr. Wednesday has put so much
trust in a petty con man.

Why Mr. Wednesday would bring
a nobody like you

into his tribe.

He doesn't tell me anything.

The awakening man was
on the way to himself.

Is there a book
that you haven't read?

A good book is a loyal
and constant friend.

Jerry and I might...

grab a drink later.

You know,
he has bad taste in music.

How do I look?

Age appropriate.

If you go outside,
Bushwick has territories.

Not every place is
the same place.

Love your light,
my beautiful son.

Hey, I'm Shadow.

Are you guys
from around here?

You talk funny...

...like a white boy.
Where you from?

France.

France?

Yeah, Europe?

Bitch, I know where France is.

You think I'm stupid, huh,
white boy?

You think you're
better than me?

Yo, I'm not white.

Man, you should've stayed
your bitch ass in France.

You best stay in your lane.

I'm gonna need a lot more than this to
keep me from beatin' your ass. Huh?

Those boys and those cops,
they want the same things we do:

to be valued,
to matter in this world.

And to feel some love.

But they don't even know me.

They think they do.

Their whole life they've been
hearing a story about who you are.

And you're the enemy
in that story.

One who will take
what they have.

Keep them from getting
what they want.

But that's not me.

It doesn't matter.

Most things people believe
about the world are lies.

But you know the truth
of who you are, Shadow.

Yeah. Not all of it.

He's dead.

Who was he?

Dead and gone,
nothing to miss.

♪ ...say you are my

Come on.

- Come on.
- ♪ Adorable one

Come on.

You had a drink with Jerry.

I don't need to be drunk
to dance with my son.

♪ I can say

♪ You are my

♪ Adorable one

Jesus, woman, are there any
flies in the state of Wisconsin

that aren't flocking to ya?

Just change the fucking tire.

- Ah! Fuck! Get it off!
- I'm trying!

- It's on my fucking foot!
- I'm trying!

- Pick it up!
- I'm trying!

Fuck!

You better stop lollygagging.

Otherwise, Shadow's better off
savin' himself.

I'm lifting an entire car.

Yeah? Last week,
you could've lifted

an entire fuckin' elephant!

Two fuckin' elephants
if my nuts are the judge.

Hang on.

All right. Let 'er down.

- Can you not?
- What?

Hover over me like a vulture.

Pffft!

I wasn't.

Just relax, okay? You'll get
your fucking coin back.

Either I fall apart
and you take it from me,

or I get my life back

and I will gladly
cram it down your throat.

If you truly
want your life back,

I might have
another option for ya.

There's a devil in the French
Quarter of New Orleans.

Haven't seen him
in a donkey's age.

Yeah, there was also
a woman in Kentucky.

None better with the spice
of life than the old Baron.

And that's a good thing
for me?

Price'll be steep.

How badly you want it?

I will literally do anything.

After we get Shadow.

This motherfucker asked me
if I want something to eat.

And then he gets in the car

with a bucket
of fried fucking chicken.

Where'd the chicken go?

Oh, it was so good.
Thank you for that. Thank you.

- You ate it all?
- Mm-hmm.

Media! Oh, Media!

Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

All this normy noise
is making me itch.

Hey! I see you.

Come on.
Mr. World wants you.

"We can't drive into the future
using only our rearview mirror."

No shit. Come on.
Get in the car.

Twentieth century is
ancient history,

like the faces you wear.

Bowie and Marilyn
and I Love Lucy.

They are so fucking retro.
And art? Art is irrelevant!

Art is the most valuable means of insight
into the direction of our collective purpose.

You're looking for insight.

The appetite
for distraction is infinite.

You're looking for insight.

I can choke them
with trivia.

Drown them
in passive pleasures,

and devastate their
spirituality with baby talk.

Wednesday scared
the shit outta you

so now you're back in school.

There is no distinction
between education and entertainment.

I am adapting,
learning to survive.

If I go back empty-handed,

he'll downvote my ass
to obsolete!

I will not launch
before I'm prepared.

World needs you back,
right now!

Get your incomprehensively
aggravated...

Good-bye.

Fatal flaw.

Underestimating me.

You think you can ghost
in my machine?

I am mankind's
greatest achievement.

I am the compass rose.

I am fucking binary.

Without me, shit don't spin.

You can't hide,
so lick your wounds,

strap on whichever do
makes you feel the mostest,

put your face on, and come out!
Come out!

Mr. World needs you.

Do not make me hunt you.

Out of respect,

I'm gonna give you a minute.

Good talk.

Fuck!

Dr. Kacinszky,
please report to Oncology.

Dr. Kacinszky to Oncology.

It shouldn't be
too much longer.

I know. It's been a long day.

The test should be back soon.

Thank you.

You make it look like magic.

That's the funny thing
about magic.

It takes years of practice.

For most people.

No. I don't want him
to live in the States.

There's nothing here for him.

But I raised him
around the world.

I am fighting! I've been fighting
every day of my goddamn life!

I don't know
how much longer I have.

Hey, hey!

Where do you think
you're going?!

Yo, speak English,
motherfucker.

This isn't who you are.

The kid was getting beat up.

He needed help.
I was just trying to protect him.

You were looking for trouble.

It doesn't matter
where you are.

You're here now.

If you put anger out there,
it will come back tenfold.

You're different.

There's a light in you that is
stronger than anything else.

I don't feel it.

It's there.

How do you know?

I gave it to you.

I give it to you every day.

Can you speed it up?
I can barely see him.

What do you usually drive?
Horse and buggy?

Says the corpse who flipped
an ice cream truck.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yay.

This'll be fun.

He's going so fast.

Way too fast to be in a car.

I'll survive the turnover. There'll
be pieces of you all over the road.

Aah!

What the fuck?!

How does a road just end?

Graveyards are full
of flowers.

Yup.

Just another dead girl
in a field.

So, you're just gonna
lie there, then?

I think the worms are calling.

This is bollocks.

What?

I thought we were going
to save somebody.

We can't just give up
because the fucking road ends.

How the fuck
am I supposed to catch him?

I can't save him
if I can't catch him.

What if I told you
I had a shortcut?

I'd say you were a piece
of shit for holding out on me.

Is that how you ask
for a favor?

What's your shortcut, please?

It's a little bit
like the backstage.

But a lot smaller.

It's a place I can hide things.

Be a tight squeeze getting through there
with your manky hide but I can try.

If it's that important to you.

Okay. Yes.
It is. For Shadow.

Alright, then.

- Close your eyes.
- Why?

Think about your man.

How does this work, exactly?

We're goin' through the horde.

Quit your squealin'!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, that shit...
that shit is messed up.

Oh, your horde is so messed up.

What the fuck?

Fuck.

Oh, he's on a train.

Fuck off.

You know, you could try a little
gratitude every now and then.

Might improve your luck.

I work for the Gods.

They gave us penicillin
and streaming porn

and aircraft carriers
that circle the globe.

You're siding with the relics
who, quite frankly,

don't deserve
an ounce of your faith.

You've been drifting
since your wife passed away

and trust me when I tell you there
are dangerous men out there

who prey on marks
just looking to be saved.

I don't need saving.

You sure about that?

Okay.
One more question for you.

There's a man in Chicago.

He had a big cup of hot chocolate
in the morning, with marshmallows.

And then he went to bed.

And he dreamt of snow.

And when he woke up...

...it'd snowed.

How'd that happen? Hm?

It didn't.

It did.

Grown up fast this summer.

It's not what I wanted.

I don't want you to go, Mom.

Hey.

You think I do?

I don't know how to live here...
not without you.

Be polite.

Respectful.

When you feel the hate
and the pain,

let it make you stronger.

No matter how dark
the world gets,

your light will always
be shining.

Oh, God. Oh, God...

Where's your coin?

Oh!

♪ I can say

♪ You are my

♪ Adorable one

♪ I can say

♪ You are my

♪ Adorable one

♪ You are be...

♪ Beyond compare

♪ You are

♪ That's why I can say

♪ Oh oh yes you are

♪ Yes you are

♪ My adorable one

♪ There will be

♪ No tomorrow

♪ If we part...

Betty.

Betty the Barbarian.

You were forged
from blue-collar sweat

in the heartland
of a forcibly Christian land.

You are not what you came
into this world as

but instead... a berserker...

and worthy
of a berserker's honor.

Oh, hell, no.

You are the standard
of my world.

Though it might not be
your way,

I honor you in
the most holy way that I know.

The looming locomotive

is the flaming arrow that soars
through the heavy air

from the bow of a Viking king.

Let it strike you true
and light your path

to Valhalla.

Valhalla?

Ain't nobody going
to fucking Valhalla!

I'll see you in Cairo.

You will dine at the table
of the Hooded One.

We will meet
in your reincarnation.

Be proud, Betty.

Be proud.

Hey!

I'm gonna fuck you up!

Missed.

Missed again.

Strike three.

Smile. It's just a bit of fun.

You see this? Hmm?

This coin is a token
of a relic

who is unworthy of your belief.

Come on over
to the winning side, Shadow.

Or stand there
and continue to play the loser.

I had to save you.