American Dad! (2005–…): Season 17, Episode 20 - Episode #17.20 - full transcript
♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
It's my goldfish's birthday.
I should be having the time
of my life, but I'm troubled.
I don't think Klaus's boys
are having a very good time.
I know!
Big Ed is being a little quiet.
Courtney has barely
touched his blunt.
And Vance hasn't thrown a single
bottle cap in my cleavage.
Something is off.
I haven't had one fart
cupped and thrown at me.
They're just farting normals.
Hey, Klaus, do you think maybe
someone else could get a turn?
No way!
No one is touching
this piñata but me!
I know it sounds crazy, but does
Klaus not know how to share?
Skittles!
Stay back! This
candy is all mine!
We spent months
planning this party,
and Klaus is ruining
it by being Klaus!
Let's do the cake.
That's good, his boys love cake.
Who wants cake?!
Put away those plates.
This is just for me,
thank you very much.
It's my birthday and my cake.
Klaus, you're not gonna
eat this whole cake.
Oh, yeah?
This is especially hard
because I hate confetti cake.
Courtney, I cannot believe
this is your favorite.
Don't go, boys!
I was just about to bring out
the bong decorating station!
Naw, son.
Uh-oh.
You know the boys say
"sup" when they're happy?
"Naw, son" is the
exact opposite.
Naw, son!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
♪ I got a feelin' that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
- ♪ Good...
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
Aah!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
Can't sleep? Me neither.
I'm just so damn worried
about Klaus and his boys!
We can't sleep either.
We're worried that Mr. Klaus
is gonna lose his boys!
Did you know that
Courtney dis-invited Klaus
to his daughter's quinceañera?
I did not know that.
He's been so much less annoying
since his Tampa boys moved here.
We have to teach Klaus
the importance of sharing
before he loses them!
And has to bring his electronic
drums back to the house.
I can still hear him
not keeping beat.
I love how you've kept
up with your piano.
How long has it been?
600 years.
And I'm finally gonna
have my first recital.
Thing is, like all musicians,
I'm much better when
I don't take drugs.
I need someone to make sure I
don't do any drugs this week.
I'm your man.
I've kept Toshi off bath
salts for almost six months.
That's great. Let's
celebrate this arrangement.
No way, no drugs.
It's times like this I'm
glad I had Rogu install a...
secret zip line!
Aaaah!
Oooh.
Rogu procrastinate.
Sharing turns a regular
meal into an experience.
With sharing, I can try a
little of Jeff's patatas bravas
and Francine's calamari.
And they can both
taste my balls!
Dad, they're called croquettes.
So sharing is when you
get less of what you want
because you're a chump...
Sounds pretty stupid to me.
Mr. Klaus, how can you not
know the value of sharing?
Didn't you learn this
stuff on Sesame Street?
I never watched
that Big Birdshit.
Growing up in Germany,
we had a real kids show,
Gernot and Strudel.
Well, they must've done
an episode about sharing.
You would think
so, wouldn't you?
Ahh, gotta drain the ol' lizard.
Don't touch my grub, hippies!
Guys, this is great!
All we have to do is find
the "sharing" episode
of his stupid show!
Easy-breezy-
tomato-soup-and-grilled-cheesy.
I don't know, guys.
Did you notice how he ominously
looked out that window
when we brought up
the "sharing" episode?
You're worried because...
he looked out a window?
Why do you think
they make windows?
Stop being weird, Hayley.
Look at me!
I'm looking through
the magic window!
Oh, no, now I have an ominous!
I know that look.
Roger's jonesing.
What the?
Baby carrots?
Dr. Slippy's Lock Pick
Switcharoo Carrots Kit.
Oh, God, his drums are back!
I thought we had more time!
Here we go, I found a clip of
the Gernot and Strudel show.
Es ist Zeit, die
Show zu starten!
German Wikipedia
or "Viko-pedia!"
says the show takes place
in the "magical world
of an old coat
hanger factory."
Gernot is a worm and
the flawless leader.
Worm boss. Tight.
Next there's Kommandant
Strudel Goofel-berry.
A sassy hippo.
Is there another kind?
Then there's a two-headed blob,
Uschi and Booshi.
Uschi represents the sadness
of the failed fall harvest.
And Booshi represents the
brief moment of happiness
that washes over
you before death.
Finally there's a talking file
cabinet, Doctor Du-Du Dankers,
who represents the perfection
of the organizational skills
that every German
child dreams of,
but nightmarishly
never achieves.
There's the episode on sharing!
Huh, not available for download.
That's strange. That's the one
episode you can't download.
Damn it!
Why does God love
kicking us in the dick?!
Well, if we can't
download the episode,
I guess we'll just have to...
perform it ourselves!
Well, it took three days,
but I'm glad we finally heard
the end of your sentence!
I must still be dreaming.
Gernot, is that really you?
Check out this insane
worm voice I came up with.
This is no dream, Klaus.
We're gonna teach
you how to share!
No, Stan! Nuh-uh.
Oh, my God, you guys are
doing my favorite show!
It's Gernot, Uschi,
Booshi, Strudel, and Du-Du!
It's good to see you too, Klaus!
We're here to teach
you about sharing!
Oh, don't be silly!
You can't start with the
big lesson of the day.
That's the end of the show.
First you have to
do the opening song,
then the numbers jamboree,
the message from the legislature
about new government
regulations,
the grammar gulag, a
reading of the crop yields,
and the time for
undeserved spanking.
I can't-a believe-a
what I'm a-hearing.
I a-guess we have to do
the whole show-a-ghetti.
Why are you doing
an Italian accent?
I can do a-Italy or [normal
voice] I can do Jeff.
Italy's good.
No, Italy is-a the best!
♪ Gernot and Strudel
♪ Children are weak and
have very small brain ♪
♪ Gernot and Strudel
♪ Your body can be
trained to not feel pain ♪
♪ The Ministry of
Culture has approved ♪
♪ Your watching of this show
♪ If you catch your
parents with rock music ♪
♪ Let the government know
♪ You'll work in a factory
till the day you die ♪
♪ Tears are for the French,
you are not allowed to cry ♪
♪ Gernot and Strudel
♪ Children are weak and
have very small brain ♪
♪ Gernot and Strudel
♪ Your body can be
trained to not feel pain ♪
We near the end of the show.
And one step closer
to death's embrace.
And that means it's time
for the lesson of the day!
Strudel has had success
in the government lottery
and has won a potato.
I'm very hungry, Strudel.
May I share your potato?
A-no you cannot-a.
I'm a-greedy and I will not
a-share this potato with you.
Mangia!
I am dying.
And now I am dead.
Strudel, you Dummkopf!
You should have shared with him!
Sharing is so important!
I... I understand now.
I feel terrible for not
sharing in the past.
I want to start
sharing right away!
Water.
Please, Jeff, allow me to
share my water with you.
Drink, my boy.
Drink from my bowl.
Lots of pulp in this water.
That's not pulp.
We've had some ups and downs,
but you've kept me off
drugs for three days.
And surprisingly I'm
not having any cravings!
Aren't we going to
keep doing the show?
Why? You already
learned to share.
Oh. That's too bad.
But I guess when the
show's over, it's over.
Unless...
the show must go on.
- Uh, are we gonna talk about that?
- Talk about what?
You didn't notice how Klaus
looked out the window and...
Again with this window business!
Geez, Hayley,
broken record much?
Didn't you hear him
laughing like...
Now you're worried
because he laughed?
He's got a great sense of humor!
Babe, give it a rest.
You're embarrassing me
in front of my friends.
What's going on?
Ugh, the hell did
I drink last night?
Oof, my heads...
Wait, heads?
I feel strange.
Where's the zipper?
I can't get this thing off!
Wait, I think...
We've been turned into puppets!
Damn it, I'm the worm.
At least you don't
have two heads!
Two heads are better than one!
If one of them isn't a shithead!
Klaus! Did you do this?
I did! And I have
wonderful news.
You're all going to keep
doing the show for me!
Why don't we start with
one of the episodes
about properly
cleaning your butthole?
Smells like Sup Bud in here.
What's Sup Bud?
Nothing, bud,
what's up with you?
Will you both shut up?!
How did you do this, Klaus?
Dr. Weitzman at
the CIA did it.
The CIA has puppet technology?
Oh, yeah, the CIA is
always installing puppets,
all over the globe.
Fozzie Bear was the Shah
of Iran for seven years.
Klaus, we don't
like being puppets!
- Really?
- Yes!
I'm craving a hand up my
ass in a very unnerving way.
And I really hate
this dang worm leash.
Stop the complaining!
The Gernot and Strudel show
is the most important
thing in the world to me!
And if you don't
perform whenever I want,
I'm going to read
you a list of things
that aren't important to me.
He's bluffing. No one
keeps a list of that.
Championship bull riding.
Mustard. Non-helium balloons.
- Stop, stop!
- Then sing!
♪ Gernot and Strudel
Well, I did it.
I got you here clean and
sober for your piano recital.
Thank you, Steve.
I think you're up.
I know him.
He's sometimes my uncle
but always my friend.
I feel you, dude.
He's sometimes my friend,
but always my customer.
Delmonico?!
Please tell me you're
here as a friend.
I cannot.
It's strictly business today.
I delivered the piano.
Oh, good.
It's basically
made out of drugs.
- Oh, no!
- Oh, yeah!
I coated the white
piano keys with ecstasy.
The black keys are
black tar heroin.
The sheet music is
blotter acid paper.
The bench he's sitting on is
actually a meth suppository.
And the whole thing is dusted
with cocaine and ketamine.
♪ Da, da, da-da-da
♪ Da, la, da-da, da-dee
♪ Da, da, da-da
♪ Da-da-da-da
♪ Da, da, da-da-da
What? How is everybody
liking this?!
Oh, they're all my customers.
This isn't working!
We'll never break
out of this cage!
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
This is not a great situation
we find ourselves in.
I've got this dang...
Stop complaining
about your worm leash!
I'm a [bleep] file cabinet!
We have a theory about
what's going on with Klaus.
When we re-created
the show for him,
we must have triggered
some unresolved trauma.
Something happened to
Klaus with this show.
And we need to get him to
share his trauma with us.
Another type of sharing.
Yeah.
And maybe that'll
snap him out of this.
Whoa, babes, I couldn't
follow any of that!
- Awww.
- Come here, you!
Yuck.
It's true.
Something terrible did happen.
No, I-I can't talk about it.
It's too painful.
You can do it.
I, this stupid worm,
believe in you.
I was eight years old,
and I was in the audience
for my favorite show
in the whole world.
But what started off as
the best day of my life
became the worst.
I was thrilled when I
was called up onto stage
at the end of the show.
At the time, I had a
big crush on Uschi,
so of course I got an erection.
And when I was a child,
I had a very sharp penis.
It wasn't big but it was honed,
like a paring knife.
Anyways, I got a
little baby boner
and accidentally poked
Uschi's puppeteer
with my tiny dagger
and she fell off
the stage and was...
electrocuted.
Strudel and Du-Du
rushed to save her.
And they too were
immediately electrocuted.
As the studio filled with
the smell of burnt flesh
and polyester fur,
me and my for-some-reason-
still-hard baby boner
could only watch in shame.
Gernot was the lone survivor...
until that evening when he
shot himself in the face.
The episode was banned
and never aired.
They replaced all the puppeteers
and kept making episodes,
but it was never the same.
I loved that show
more than anything,
and I was the one
that destroyed it.
Jesus, Klaus.
And that's why
you became a fish?
What? No.
That's how I became traumatized.
But after sharing it,
I feel so much better.
Thank you.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
I guess you could let
us out of this cage.
And I wouldn't mind having
my worm leash removed.
Oh, baby, that's the stuff.
Oh, and also,
I think we'd all like to
not be puppets anymore.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, shoot.
We don't have time to
get to Dr. Weitzman
before he leaves for
his summer job...
Selling clever T-shirts on
the Atlantic City boardwalk.
I can't be stuck being
a worm all summer!
I already put down my deposit
for boogie boarding camp!
We could get there in time
if we took a shortcut
through the Langley Dunes.
But how?
Those dunes are
famously treacherous.
I know! My boys
have badass ATVs!
Let's go!
I refuse to be fat shamed.
I called it a "worm leash."
It was very uncomfortable.
You can still see the little
indent it made on my felt.
Do you really think your boys
will let us use their ATVs?
They seem mad at you.
You really don't understand
how truly tight I
am with my boys.
No way!
You don't share, man.
Okay, maybe I didn't use to.
But I've learned how to share!
And I brought you something.
- A cake?!
- A piñata?!
You're both right.
I brought a broken piñata
filled with old cake!
Mmm. Sup.
Sup.
That means they're boys again!
Francine, I'm a
worm, not an idiot.
♪ Go crazy
♪ Yeah, soo, we gone,
huh, stop, we good, stop ♪
♪ Chill, we on, yeah,
scale, let's go ♪
♪ Take, huh, let's go, huh
♪ Set, let's roll
Oh, no... cliff.
How are we going to get down?
Easy! We're puppets.
We don't have any bones!
Wait, I have bones!
Uh, waiter?
There's some bones in my fish.
Come on, we're so close.
Crap, forgot about the river
that runs through
the Langley Dunes!
What a complex and exciting
ecosystem this town has!
But how are we
gonna get across?!
I got this!
Everyone on my back!
♪ Straightenin',
straightenin', whoo ♪
♪ Straightenin',
yeah, straight ♪
♪ Straightenin',
straightenin', soo ♪
♪ Straightenin', yeah
♪ Straight, don't nothing
get straightenin' ♪
♪ But straightenin',
hey, don't nothing get ♪
Dr. Weitzman! We
need our bodies back!
Sure thing!
I actually have your
bodies right here!
Nothing gross!
I've actually been
using them as a sofa.
Aww, I kinda miss
having two heads.
Guys, I hate to say it, I
kinda miss the worm leash.
I feel like we're
forgetting something.
Where's Klaus?
Wazzup!
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
and a Mountain Dew ♪
It's my goldfish's birthday.
I should be having the time
of my life, but I'm troubled.
I don't think Klaus's boys
are having a very good time.
I know!
Big Ed is being a little quiet.
Courtney has barely
touched his blunt.
And Vance hasn't thrown a single
bottle cap in my cleavage.
Something is off.
I haven't had one fart
cupped and thrown at me.
They're just farting normals.
Hey, Klaus, do you think maybe
someone else could get a turn?
No way!
No one is touching
this piñata but me!
I know it sounds crazy, but does
Klaus not know how to share?
Skittles!
Stay back! This
candy is all mine!
We spent months
planning this party,
and Klaus is ruining
it by being Klaus!
Let's do the cake.
That's good, his boys love cake.
Who wants cake?!
Put away those plates.
This is just for me,
thank you very much.
It's my birthday and my cake.
Klaus, you're not gonna
eat this whole cake.
Oh, yeah?
This is especially hard
because I hate confetti cake.
Courtney, I cannot believe
this is your favorite.
Don't go, boys!
I was just about to bring out
the bong decorating station!
Naw, son.
Uh-oh.
You know the boys say
"sup" when they're happy?
"Naw, son" is the
exact opposite.
Naw, son!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
♪ I got a feelin' that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
- ♪ Good...
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
Aah!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
Can't sleep? Me neither.
I'm just so damn worried
about Klaus and his boys!
We can't sleep either.
We're worried that Mr. Klaus
is gonna lose his boys!
Did you know that
Courtney dis-invited Klaus
to his daughter's quinceañera?
I did not know that.
He's been so much less annoying
since his Tampa boys moved here.
We have to teach Klaus
the importance of sharing
before he loses them!
And has to bring his electronic
drums back to the house.
I can still hear him
not keeping beat.
I love how you've kept
up with your piano.
How long has it been?
600 years.
And I'm finally gonna
have my first recital.
Thing is, like all musicians,
I'm much better when
I don't take drugs.
I need someone to make sure I
don't do any drugs this week.
I'm your man.
I've kept Toshi off bath
salts for almost six months.
That's great. Let's
celebrate this arrangement.
No way, no drugs.
It's times like this I'm
glad I had Rogu install a...
secret zip line!
Aaaah!
Oooh.
Rogu procrastinate.
Sharing turns a regular
meal into an experience.
With sharing, I can try a
little of Jeff's patatas bravas
and Francine's calamari.
And they can both
taste my balls!
Dad, they're called croquettes.
So sharing is when you
get less of what you want
because you're a chump...
Sounds pretty stupid to me.
Mr. Klaus, how can you not
know the value of sharing?
Didn't you learn this
stuff on Sesame Street?
I never watched
that Big Birdshit.
Growing up in Germany,
we had a real kids show,
Gernot and Strudel.
Well, they must've done
an episode about sharing.
You would think
so, wouldn't you?
Ahh, gotta drain the ol' lizard.
Don't touch my grub, hippies!
Guys, this is great!
All we have to do is find
the "sharing" episode
of his stupid show!
Easy-breezy-
tomato-soup-and-grilled-cheesy.
I don't know, guys.
Did you notice how he ominously
looked out that window
when we brought up
the "sharing" episode?
You're worried because...
he looked out a window?
Why do you think
they make windows?
Stop being weird, Hayley.
Look at me!
I'm looking through
the magic window!
Oh, no, now I have an ominous!
I know that look.
Roger's jonesing.
What the?
Baby carrots?
Dr. Slippy's Lock Pick
Switcharoo Carrots Kit.
Oh, God, his drums are back!
I thought we had more time!
Here we go, I found a clip of
the Gernot and Strudel show.
Es ist Zeit, die
Show zu starten!
German Wikipedia
or "Viko-pedia!"
says the show takes place
in the "magical world
of an old coat
hanger factory."
Gernot is a worm and
the flawless leader.
Worm boss. Tight.
Next there's Kommandant
Strudel Goofel-berry.
A sassy hippo.
Is there another kind?
Then there's a two-headed blob,
Uschi and Booshi.
Uschi represents the sadness
of the failed fall harvest.
And Booshi represents the
brief moment of happiness
that washes over
you before death.
Finally there's a talking file
cabinet, Doctor Du-Du Dankers,
who represents the perfection
of the organizational skills
that every German
child dreams of,
but nightmarishly
never achieves.
There's the episode on sharing!
Huh, not available for download.
That's strange. That's the one
episode you can't download.
Damn it!
Why does God love
kicking us in the dick?!
Well, if we can't
download the episode,
I guess we'll just have to...
perform it ourselves!
Well, it took three days,
but I'm glad we finally heard
the end of your sentence!
I must still be dreaming.
Gernot, is that really you?
Check out this insane
worm voice I came up with.
This is no dream, Klaus.
We're gonna teach
you how to share!
No, Stan! Nuh-uh.
Oh, my God, you guys are
doing my favorite show!
It's Gernot, Uschi,
Booshi, Strudel, and Du-Du!
It's good to see you too, Klaus!
We're here to teach
you about sharing!
Oh, don't be silly!
You can't start with the
big lesson of the day.
That's the end of the show.
First you have to
do the opening song,
then the numbers jamboree,
the message from the legislature
about new government
regulations,
the grammar gulag, a
reading of the crop yields,
and the time for
undeserved spanking.
I can't-a believe-a
what I'm a-hearing.
I a-guess we have to do
the whole show-a-ghetti.
Why are you doing
an Italian accent?
I can do a-Italy or [normal
voice] I can do Jeff.
Italy's good.
No, Italy is-a the best!
♪ Gernot and Strudel
♪ Children are weak and
have very small brain ♪
♪ Gernot and Strudel
♪ Your body can be
trained to not feel pain ♪
♪ The Ministry of
Culture has approved ♪
♪ Your watching of this show
♪ If you catch your
parents with rock music ♪
♪ Let the government know
♪ You'll work in a factory
till the day you die ♪
♪ Tears are for the French,
you are not allowed to cry ♪
♪ Gernot and Strudel
♪ Children are weak and
have very small brain ♪
♪ Gernot and Strudel
♪ Your body can be
trained to not feel pain ♪
We near the end of the show.
And one step closer
to death's embrace.
And that means it's time
for the lesson of the day!
Strudel has had success
in the government lottery
and has won a potato.
I'm very hungry, Strudel.
May I share your potato?
A-no you cannot-a.
I'm a-greedy and I will not
a-share this potato with you.
Mangia!
I am dying.
And now I am dead.
Strudel, you Dummkopf!
You should have shared with him!
Sharing is so important!
I... I understand now.
I feel terrible for not
sharing in the past.
I want to start
sharing right away!
Water.
Please, Jeff, allow me to
share my water with you.
Drink, my boy.
Drink from my bowl.
Lots of pulp in this water.
That's not pulp.
We've had some ups and downs,
but you've kept me off
drugs for three days.
And surprisingly I'm
not having any cravings!
Aren't we going to
keep doing the show?
Why? You already
learned to share.
Oh. That's too bad.
But I guess when the
show's over, it's over.
Unless...
the show must go on.
- Uh, are we gonna talk about that?
- Talk about what?
You didn't notice how Klaus
looked out the window and...
Again with this window business!
Geez, Hayley,
broken record much?
Didn't you hear him
laughing like...
Now you're worried
because he laughed?
He's got a great sense of humor!
Babe, give it a rest.
You're embarrassing me
in front of my friends.
What's going on?
Ugh, the hell did
I drink last night?
Oof, my heads...
Wait, heads?
I feel strange.
Where's the zipper?
I can't get this thing off!
Wait, I think...
We've been turned into puppets!
Damn it, I'm the worm.
At least you don't
have two heads!
Two heads are better than one!
If one of them isn't a shithead!
Klaus! Did you do this?
I did! And I have
wonderful news.
You're all going to keep
doing the show for me!
Why don't we start with
one of the episodes
about properly
cleaning your butthole?
Smells like Sup Bud in here.
What's Sup Bud?
Nothing, bud,
what's up with you?
Will you both shut up?!
How did you do this, Klaus?
Dr. Weitzman at
the CIA did it.
The CIA has puppet technology?
Oh, yeah, the CIA is
always installing puppets,
all over the globe.
Fozzie Bear was the Shah
of Iran for seven years.
Klaus, we don't
like being puppets!
- Really?
- Yes!
I'm craving a hand up my
ass in a very unnerving way.
And I really hate
this dang worm leash.
Stop the complaining!
The Gernot and Strudel show
is the most important
thing in the world to me!
And if you don't
perform whenever I want,
I'm going to read
you a list of things
that aren't important to me.
He's bluffing. No one
keeps a list of that.
Championship bull riding.
Mustard. Non-helium balloons.
- Stop, stop!
- Then sing!
♪ Gernot and Strudel
Well, I did it.
I got you here clean and
sober for your piano recital.
Thank you, Steve.
I think you're up.
I know him.
He's sometimes my uncle
but always my friend.
I feel you, dude.
He's sometimes my friend,
but always my customer.
Delmonico?!
Please tell me you're
here as a friend.
I cannot.
It's strictly business today.
I delivered the piano.
Oh, good.
It's basically
made out of drugs.
- Oh, no!
- Oh, yeah!
I coated the white
piano keys with ecstasy.
The black keys are
black tar heroin.
The sheet music is
blotter acid paper.
The bench he's sitting on is
actually a meth suppository.
And the whole thing is dusted
with cocaine and ketamine.
♪ Da, da, da-da-da
♪ Da, la, da-da, da-dee
♪ Da, da, da-da
♪ Da-da-da-da
♪ Da, da, da-da-da
What? How is everybody
liking this?!
Oh, they're all my customers.
This isn't working!
We'll never break
out of this cage!
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
This is not a great situation
we find ourselves in.
I've got this dang...
Stop complaining
about your worm leash!
I'm a [bleep] file cabinet!
We have a theory about
what's going on with Klaus.
When we re-created
the show for him,
we must have triggered
some unresolved trauma.
Something happened to
Klaus with this show.
And we need to get him to
share his trauma with us.
Another type of sharing.
Yeah.
And maybe that'll
snap him out of this.
Whoa, babes, I couldn't
follow any of that!
- Awww.
- Come here, you!
Yuck.
It's true.
Something terrible did happen.
No, I-I can't talk about it.
It's too painful.
You can do it.
I, this stupid worm,
believe in you.
I was eight years old,
and I was in the audience
for my favorite show
in the whole world.
But what started off as
the best day of my life
became the worst.
I was thrilled when I
was called up onto stage
at the end of the show.
At the time, I had a
big crush on Uschi,
so of course I got an erection.
And when I was a child,
I had a very sharp penis.
It wasn't big but it was honed,
like a paring knife.
Anyways, I got a
little baby boner
and accidentally poked
Uschi's puppeteer
with my tiny dagger
and she fell off
the stage and was...
electrocuted.
Strudel and Du-Du
rushed to save her.
And they too were
immediately electrocuted.
As the studio filled with
the smell of burnt flesh
and polyester fur,
me and my for-some-reason-
still-hard baby boner
could only watch in shame.
Gernot was the lone survivor...
until that evening when he
shot himself in the face.
The episode was banned
and never aired.
They replaced all the puppeteers
and kept making episodes,
but it was never the same.
I loved that show
more than anything,
and I was the one
that destroyed it.
Jesus, Klaus.
And that's why
you became a fish?
What? No.
That's how I became traumatized.
But after sharing it,
I feel so much better.
Thank you.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
I guess you could let
us out of this cage.
And I wouldn't mind having
my worm leash removed.
Oh, baby, that's the stuff.
Oh, and also,
I think we'd all like to
not be puppets anymore.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, shoot.
We don't have time to
get to Dr. Weitzman
before he leaves for
his summer job...
Selling clever T-shirts on
the Atlantic City boardwalk.
I can't be stuck being
a worm all summer!
I already put down my deposit
for boogie boarding camp!
We could get there in time
if we took a shortcut
through the Langley Dunes.
But how?
Those dunes are
famously treacherous.
I know! My boys
have badass ATVs!
Let's go!
I refuse to be fat shamed.
I called it a "worm leash."
It was very uncomfortable.
You can still see the little
indent it made on my felt.
Do you really think your boys
will let us use their ATVs?
They seem mad at you.
You really don't understand
how truly tight I
am with my boys.
No way!
You don't share, man.
Okay, maybe I didn't use to.
But I've learned how to share!
And I brought you something.
- A cake?!
- A piñata?!
You're both right.
I brought a broken piñata
filled with old cake!
Mmm. Sup.
Sup.
That means they're boys again!
Francine, I'm a
worm, not an idiot.
♪ Go crazy
♪ Yeah, soo, we gone,
huh, stop, we good, stop ♪
♪ Chill, we on, yeah,
scale, let's go ♪
♪ Take, huh, let's go, huh
♪ Set, let's roll
Oh, no... cliff.
How are we going to get down?
Easy! We're puppets.
We don't have any bones!
Wait, I have bones!
Uh, waiter?
There's some bones in my fish.
Come on, we're so close.
Crap, forgot about the river
that runs through
the Langley Dunes!
What a complex and exciting
ecosystem this town has!
But how are we
gonna get across?!
I got this!
Everyone on my back!
♪ Straightenin',
straightenin', whoo ♪
♪ Straightenin',
yeah, straight ♪
♪ Straightenin',
straightenin', soo ♪
♪ Straightenin', yeah
♪ Straight, don't nothing
get straightenin' ♪
♪ But straightenin',
hey, don't nothing get ♪
Dr. Weitzman! We
need our bodies back!
Sure thing!
I actually have your
bodies right here!
Nothing gross!
I've actually been
using them as a sofa.
Aww, I kinda miss
having two heads.
Guys, I hate to say it, I
kinda miss the worm leash.
I feel like we're
forgetting something.
Where's Klaus?
Wazzup!
Bye! Have a beautiful time!