American Dad! (2005–…): Season 17, Episode 11 - The Three Fs - full transcript
Francine's newfound friendship with a frog brings excitement to the whole Smith household; unfortunately, it drives their neighbor, Greg, crazy.
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Engine roaring ]
[ Alarms beeping ]
This can't be good!
You mean all the alarms
and stuff?
Yeah!
We're too heavy!
If we don't drop some cargo,
we're dead, man.
Oh, well. It's not like I have
anything to live for.
Then who's that?
Oh, right, my son!
My son and his
eight siblings!
[ Shimmering ]
I don't know what to drop!
It all looks so important!
Just pick something!
[ Wind whistling ]
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Sighs ] It's gonna be
a great pool day.
[ Thud ]
Well, sounds like Neil Armstrong
finally returned.
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
Aah!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
*AMERICAN DAD (2005)*
Season 17 Episode 11 (IMDB)
Aired on: September 19, 2022.
Episode Title:
"A League of His Own"
Pool's ready!
Steve, come swim
with your mama.
I'm in the middle of
a speed run of this game.
I can't swim with
my "mama" right now.
Voice: You have reached
level 35 of "Mom Swim."
You have unlocked
"Good Job Honey!"
Y'all wanna come swim?
Can't. Learning.
Jeff and I have decided to
become more well-rounded people
and are learning
vocabulary words.
I've learned perfidious.
Do you know what it means,
Francine?
I don't know, stank-ass
or something?
It means deceitful
and untrustworthy.
And I learned
the word "vocabulary."
[ Door slams ]
I can't. I'm busy working
on my dating app.
It's like Tinder or Hinge,
but mine has a different name.
It's called
Barrel Scraper.
Like scraping the bottom
of the barrel?
Oh, no!
I forgot about that phrase!
I was thinking
a barrel of laughs
and a skyscraper
of a good time.
Help! I'm drowning!
Stan, help!
[ Door slams ]
Ha! Gotcha!
Doesn't the pool
look so nice?
Why don't you join me?
I'm just out here because
I got ketchup on my toes
and needed to wipe it off
in the grass.
Francine, can you please
keep it down?
I can hear you drowning from
all the way across the street.
It's almost noon.
Why are you still
in your pajamas?
I'm trying to get 18 hours
of sleep a day
to prepare for
an audition next week.
A scout is coming to watch me
perform the news,
and it could be
my big break to go national.
That's exciting!
I know!
But I really have to nail
my mood maneuvers.
You know when news anchors
have to switch
from happy stories
to sad stories,
seamlessly transitioning
from an upbeat inflection
to a grave one?
That's a mood maneuver.
Example please.
[ Somber ] Francine Smith
drowned in her pool,
[ upbeat ] which was good
for Greg because he finally
got some sleep.
♪ All by myself ♪
♪ Don't want to be
all by myself ♪
♪ Anymore! ♪
[ Frog croaks ]
Oh!
Hi there,
little froggie.
Did you come
to admire the pool?
[ Croaking ]
Me and the family used to
swim out here
all the time,
but now no one cares.
Cool jump, lil' dude.
I'm going to
name you Jumpers.
Mom, what is that?
It's a frog.
A frog?!
That's awesome!
I'm coming out.
Wait, there's a frog
by the pool?
This I gotta see!
I see it,
and it's worth it, Hayley!
It's green like
the stories say!
[ Croaking ]
His name is Jumpers,
and he's hanging out with me
by the pool.
Jumpers, watch this!
Steve: Jumpers, over here!
Jeff: Jumpers this way!
Uh... come back to me.
Hayley: Jumpers,
look at this kick flip.
Dammit.
I landed it earlier.
Water fight!
[ Laughing ]
♪ All by my family ♪
♪ Not by myself ♪
[ Laughter, shouting ]
Sup. I slept like
a hog on a log,
and now I'm ready
for some slop.
Here's some
yogurt tubes.
I wanted us to eat quick
so we can get
back out there
with Jumpers.
Oh, yeah, cool.
I'll head out later.
Samesies.
Yeah, I got tired again.
And I'm still looking
for a beta tester.
Gonna peruse smokers
outside the bowling alley.
Look out below!
[ Screams ]
I don't understand, Jumpers.
They were so into it yesterday,
but I've lost them again.
We have to do something
to get their attention.
Oh, but what?
[ Croaking ]
Yes?
Oh, you want me to follow you.
♪♪
[ Croaking ]
Wow, Jumpers!
This must have been that crate
that fell out of that airplane!
You didn't think I saw that,
did you?
Come on, my family's
gonna love this!
[ Fogs croaking ]
[ Ominous music plays ]
[ Frogs croaking ]
Marco! Polo!
[ Chuckles ] What?
Am I the only one playing?
[ Sizzling ]
You can probably tell
I have no clue what I'm doing.
[ Whispering ]
We did it, Jumpers.
The family's together again.
[ Frogs croaking loudly ]
I'm glad you brought
those frogs home.
It's like living
in the wild.
Listen to
how loud they are.
It's so loud.
And you know how loud things
get me in the mood.
I sure do!
[ Moaning, panting ]
[ Croaking continues ]
♪♪
Something's...
different.
Did you get a haircut,
Mr. Klaus?
Where's
the kitchen table?
Oh!
Oh!
Francine: Out here!
I thought it would be nice
to be closer to the frogs.
Hell no! This frog thing
is getting out of hand.
And now you want us
to eat out here?
Perfidious!
I won't demean myself
this way.
I'm gonna go eat pasta sauce
on the couch and watch TV.
[ Glass shatters,
Klaus screams ]
Uhhh... okay, Klaus.
This frog thing is out of hand?
I just want Jumpers and his
friends to feel comfortable.
Klaus: Guys!
Greg's audition is gonna
start soon if you wanna watch.
[ Munches ]
You ready for this?
Huh?
Oh, yeah. Born ready.
Is that the scout?
That's him.
Take your shot!
You're going
to love Greg.
His mood maneuvers
are impeccable.
He never says
the sad stuff happy.
Good morning and welcome
to the Channel 3
9:00 news.
I'm Greg Corbin.
[ Upbeat ] Langley Animal Clinic
celebrated
their hundredth anniversary
with a dog parade.
Last night, a man was
found dead in a soup bowl.
Sorry, I mean...
with a dog parade!
[ Somber ] Last night, a man
was found dead in a soup bowl.
This is embarrassing.
In international news,
America lost three soldiers
on the Pakistan border.
[ Upbeat ] But they were later
found in a nearby mall!
Dead! Of self-inflicted
gunshot wounds!
Oh, dangit!
[ Clatters ]
No, no, no, don't leave!
[ Door slams ]
You.
Me?
Francine Smith.
You kept me awake
the entire week
with your stupid, loud frogs!
You cost me my chance
at going national.
I'm going to sue you!
[ Cellphone buzzes ]
What, Greg?
It's Greg. Oh.
I wasn't sure if you
were watching,
so I'm calling to tell you
I'm suing you.
Of course I'm watching.
I'm your friend!
And you're going
down, asshole.
I won't let you come
between me and my family.
Your family?
I'm suing about the frogs.
Exactly!
Frogs equal family.
It's the three Fs.
Frogs, family, and my name
is Francine.
Then I guess
I'll see you in court.
I guess you will!
Hi. I'd like a big, big, big,
big meatball sandwich, please.
The biggest you've got.
Case number 543A,
Corbin vs. Smith.
Ah! Sorry, sorry.
Greg looks worse than
he did on the news.
He still hasn't slept.
I saw Jumpers
and a group of frogs
sitting right outside
his window last night.
You think Jumpers
is sabotaging him?
[ Eerie music plays]
Hi, Jumpers!
Mm. I'm not going to read
these documents.
You, begin.
Your Honor, I need
Francine Smith
to remove the frogs
from her backyard.
They're keeping me
awake!
♪ Order in the court! ♪
I'm trying to get
a television show,
so I might be a bit wild today.
Mr. Corbin,
do you have evidence?
Yes, listen
to these frogs!
March 12th,
sibilance practice.
Single Susan sits
somewhere silently.
I don't understand.
I checked it this morning.
[ Croaks ]
This frog is quiet.
He's acting,
Your Honor!
Don't shave my legs with
a pine cone
and call it a razor!
We'll recess
until tomorrow.
[ Frogs croaking ]
That was amazing.
I was gonna wait for the verdict
to pop the champagne,
but I'm ready now.
[ Pops ]
I felt kind of bad
for Greg.
Me too.
He looked like crap,
and he's usually
so striking.
The frogs
are loud, Mom.
What's your point?
It wouldn't hurt to maybe
get rid of some of them.
Greg just wants to be
able to sleep.
But they're the whole
reason we've been
spending time together.
It was exciting for awhile
to have
a fun new thing to do
in the backyard, but...
That's it!
We've been limiting ourselves
to the backyard.
Did someone say tributary?
[ Frogs croaking ]
Now nothing can come
between me and my family.
Judge Grenier: Welcome back.
Let's skip right to the end.
Closing statements, go.
Your Honor, it comes down
to the three Fs.
Frogs, family,
and Francine.
If that's not the three Fs,
I don't know what is.
Oh [bleep] right
in his [bleep] face.
You want something
in your face, Your Honor?
How about some
surprise witnesses!
[ Gasps ]
Whaaaat?
It is crazy in here!
They're testifying
against Francine?
That's...
Perfidious.
What the...?
The frogs are loud.
Things have
gotten bad,
and we're worried
they're going to get worse.
What if I told you I have
an app where people
such as yourself could meet
other people such as themselves?
She tore down the kitchen wall
to let the frogs inside.
She put 12 humidifiers
in my room.
Order, order!
You already said something!
[ Sighs ]
It is with great thought
and consideration
that I make this judgement.
Francine wins!
She can keep the frogs
and let those babies thrive.
[ Gasping ]
Really?
Your ass is dismissed!
And here's my ass.
What?
This isn't the last
you've heard of me, Francine.
Mom, please
don't be mad.
[ Croaking ]
[ English accent ]
They betrayed you, Francine.
You betrayed me.
Wait.
You can talk?
Of course we can talk!
But we couldn't get you
to listen.
[ Croaking ]
All you've done is listen.
You constantly cater
to their needs.
That's true!
I thought I was doing what was
best for my family.
We're your family now.
Exile them!
Your Honor, I'd like
a restraining order
against my family.
Granted!
She's incredible!
[ Sighs, thuds ]
Let's go, Jumpers.
Wait, Francine,
can we still have sex?
No.
Okay, well, you're still
attracted to me right?
Not as much.
[ Gasps ]
My new beta tester!
Stan, I'm marking you down
as bisexual.
Is that cool?
I mean, it's not like
I own the word "perfidious."
But Francine just said
it like it was hers.
Mom's phone isn't
even ringing anymore.
[ Chimes ]
Your mother made her choice.
We're moving on.
Moving on with a little help
from Barrel Scraper.
Let me see what you wrote
for your profile.
"My name is Stan.
My wife doesn't find me
attractive anymore.
Maybe you will like
my ugly face.
Will you take care
of my kids?
You must hate frogs."
It's perfect.
[ Chimes ]
You got a match!
I'll see if she wants
to meet up right now.
I wish we could figure out
what's up with Jumpers.
It's like Mom is under
his spell or something.
I have an idea.
Jeff, drive us to Groff.
There's a herpetologist
there we can talk to.
Ooh, I learned
this word recently.
A herpetologist studies
reptiles and amphibians.
Don't tell
Francine, though.
She'll be like
[imitating Francine]
herpetologist, herpetologist.
[ Normal voice ]
Right, Jeff?
Drop Stan off at
Frog Ross Restaurant
for his first date.
Frog Ross Restaurant?!
You know frogs
remind me of her!
Why? Because of
the frog thing?
Jeff, will you hang
with me in the van?
I want to keep talking
through my feelings.
Harrison: If these frogs have
moved into your house
like you say,
then you're already too late.
What do you mean?
Oh, those aren't just
any normal frogs.
They're the Brazilian
Cuckoo Frog.
And they're extremely
danger... [ Coughs ]
Sorry. My spit went down
the wrong pipe.
[ Clears throat ]
They're extremely dangerous.
This breed of frog
follows a pack of
animals around
like wolves follow bison
to see if one of the pack
is trailing behind.
Because usually if an animal
is trailing behind,
it means they are
being ignored and isolated.
The frogs surround this animal
and shower it with attention,
time, even treats...
...until the animal
is so entranced,
that it leaves its own pack
and joins the frog army.
Army is what a group
of frogs is called.
All: Oh!
Once the animal
is in the army,
it will do anything
to protect the frogs.
[ Doorbell rings ]
Package of lily pads
for Francine Smith.
Ma'am, are you okay?
I'm gonna call
someone for you. Ah!
Harrison: And the army
will do anything to keep
the animal for themselves.
And then yada, yada, yada,
the frogs make a foam nest
to lay their eggs in,
and the animal offers herself up
to the newly hatched tadpoles
who devour her
from the inside out.
Exsqueeze me?!
We have to go save Mom
before she's eaten!
What's so funny?
That ex squeeze me...
just always gets me.
And that's all there
is about me.
That's the first thing
you've said.
Hi.
I'm your waiter, Tipdip.
Are you ready to order?
Now, I haven't been on a date
in a very long time
because I've been married
to the love of my life,
but I do remember that
a woman thinks it's sexy
when a man orders.
She'll start with
an alcoholic Oreo milkshake,
extra thick.
For the entree,
the halibut linguine,
but scratch the halibut
and make it a whole branzino,
its eyes
towards the lady.
But not staring here,
because her eyes are up here.
Right above her
beautiful breasts.
[ Cellphone buzzes ]
- Hello?
- Steve: Dad!
Does Frog Ross still have
that big mechanical frog?
♪ Low ri-der ♪
[ Frogs croaking ]
"Sorry we didn't continue
to love frogs."
Psh. It's a start.
Bring it out back.
Roger: Guessing that's
the foam nest.
Steve: They're starting
to lay their eggs.
We have to wait for Mom
to be asleep,
or she'll fight us off.
Good thing we're here
in time for Mom's
famous lawn chair
night nap.
Ahhh!
Greg?!
I'm here to kill
all the frogs!
Starting with
this real big one!
Ow!
A Trojan frog?
I should have known.
Where are the real frogs?
In the foam!
Aaah!
Francine, come with us.
These frogs are going
to eat you.
I want them to.
Because they're my family.
They're not your family,
we are!
It is time.
Adios.
- Mom!
- Save her!
Mom?
Hello?
Where is everyone?
I feel so... isolated.
[ Frogs croaking ]
Mom, I'm scared.
I'm sorry if this is how alone
we made you feel.
We should've swam
when you asked us to,
after you worked so hard
on the pool.
We shouldn't have needed
the frogs!
We're sorry!
Stan!
Was that you?
What did you think
of the app's usability?
Hi, little guy!
[ Squeaking ]
Well, now
I'm a "tad" concerned.
[ Laughs ]
Funny right till the end.
I'm so sorry!
I don't know
what came over me.
[ Croaking ]
Francine, darling,
where are you going?
The babies are hatching.
I can't be your babies'
first meal.
I have to be with my family.
Is Mom talking
to Jumpers?
Ribbit.
[ Croaking ]
Jumpers, what we had
was special...
Cut the crap.
I promised my family
the three Fs.
Francine frog food.
Greg's in there.
Eat him.
Uh, no. He smells.
It's you we want.
[ Croaking ]
[ Screams ]
Harrison: Eat me!
It's been my life's dream
to be the first human sacrifice
for the Brazilian Cuckoo Frog.
I almost was once,
but my idiotic family saved me.
[ Croaks, sniffs ]
This works.
[ Splashes ]
No! Ah, yes!
[ Groans ]
Yes! [ Screams ]
[ Belching ]
Farewell, Francine.
It's been a pleasure.
And to the rest of
the Smith family,
ribbit, ribbit.
Bye, Jumpers!
Wow, look what just a little bit
of rest did for Greg.
You all left me
with Klaus,
you perfidious [bleep]
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
[ Engine roaring ]
[ Alarms beeping ]
This can't be good!
You mean all the alarms
and stuff?
Yeah!
We're too heavy!
If we don't drop some cargo,
we're dead, man.
Oh, well. It's not like I have
anything to live for.
Then who's that?
Oh, right, my son!
My son and his
eight siblings!
[ Shimmering ]
I don't know what to drop!
It all looks so important!
Just pick something!
[ Wind whistling ]
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Sighs ] It's gonna be
a great pool day.
[ Thud ]
Well, sounds like Neil Armstrong
finally returned.
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
Aah!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
*AMERICAN DAD (2005)*
Season 17 Episode 11 (IMDB)
Aired on: September 19, 2022.
Episode Title:
"A League of His Own"
Pool's ready!
Steve, come swim
with your mama.
I'm in the middle of
a speed run of this game.
I can't swim with
my "mama" right now.
Voice: You have reached
level 35 of "Mom Swim."
You have unlocked
"Good Job Honey!"
Y'all wanna come swim?
Can't. Learning.
Jeff and I have decided to
become more well-rounded people
and are learning
vocabulary words.
I've learned perfidious.
Do you know what it means,
Francine?
I don't know, stank-ass
or something?
It means deceitful
and untrustworthy.
And I learned
the word "vocabulary."
[ Door slams ]
I can't. I'm busy working
on my dating app.
It's like Tinder or Hinge,
but mine has a different name.
It's called
Barrel Scraper.
Like scraping the bottom
of the barrel?
Oh, no!
I forgot about that phrase!
I was thinking
a barrel of laughs
and a skyscraper
of a good time.
Help! I'm drowning!
Stan, help!
[ Door slams ]
Ha! Gotcha!
Doesn't the pool
look so nice?
Why don't you join me?
I'm just out here because
I got ketchup on my toes
and needed to wipe it off
in the grass.
Francine, can you please
keep it down?
I can hear you drowning from
all the way across the street.
It's almost noon.
Why are you still
in your pajamas?
I'm trying to get 18 hours
of sleep a day
to prepare for
an audition next week.
A scout is coming to watch me
perform the news,
and it could be
my big break to go national.
That's exciting!
I know!
But I really have to nail
my mood maneuvers.
You know when news anchors
have to switch
from happy stories
to sad stories,
seamlessly transitioning
from an upbeat inflection
to a grave one?
That's a mood maneuver.
Example please.
[ Somber ] Francine Smith
drowned in her pool,
[ upbeat ] which was good
for Greg because he finally
got some sleep.
♪ All by myself ♪
♪ Don't want to be
all by myself ♪
♪ Anymore! ♪
[ Frog croaks ]
Oh!
Hi there,
little froggie.
Did you come
to admire the pool?
[ Croaking ]
Me and the family used to
swim out here
all the time,
but now no one cares.
Cool jump, lil' dude.
I'm going to
name you Jumpers.
Mom, what is that?
It's a frog.
A frog?!
That's awesome!
I'm coming out.
Wait, there's a frog
by the pool?
This I gotta see!
I see it,
and it's worth it, Hayley!
It's green like
the stories say!
[ Croaking ]
His name is Jumpers,
and he's hanging out with me
by the pool.
Jumpers, watch this!
Steve: Jumpers, over here!
Jeff: Jumpers this way!
Uh... come back to me.
Hayley: Jumpers,
look at this kick flip.
Dammit.
I landed it earlier.
Water fight!
[ Laughing ]
♪ All by my family ♪
♪ Not by myself ♪
[ Laughter, shouting ]
Sup. I slept like
a hog on a log,
and now I'm ready
for some slop.
Here's some
yogurt tubes.
I wanted us to eat quick
so we can get
back out there
with Jumpers.
Oh, yeah, cool.
I'll head out later.
Samesies.
Yeah, I got tired again.
And I'm still looking
for a beta tester.
Gonna peruse smokers
outside the bowling alley.
Look out below!
[ Screams ]
I don't understand, Jumpers.
They were so into it yesterday,
but I've lost them again.
We have to do something
to get their attention.
Oh, but what?
[ Croaking ]
Yes?
Oh, you want me to follow you.
♪♪
[ Croaking ]
Wow, Jumpers!
This must have been that crate
that fell out of that airplane!
You didn't think I saw that,
did you?
Come on, my family's
gonna love this!
[ Fogs croaking ]
[ Ominous music plays ]
[ Frogs croaking ]
Marco! Polo!
[ Chuckles ] What?
Am I the only one playing?
[ Sizzling ]
You can probably tell
I have no clue what I'm doing.
[ Whispering ]
We did it, Jumpers.
The family's together again.
[ Frogs croaking loudly ]
I'm glad you brought
those frogs home.
It's like living
in the wild.
Listen to
how loud they are.
It's so loud.
And you know how loud things
get me in the mood.
I sure do!
[ Moaning, panting ]
[ Croaking continues ]
♪♪
Something's...
different.
Did you get a haircut,
Mr. Klaus?
Where's
the kitchen table?
Oh!
Oh!
Francine: Out here!
I thought it would be nice
to be closer to the frogs.
Hell no! This frog thing
is getting out of hand.
And now you want us
to eat out here?
Perfidious!
I won't demean myself
this way.
I'm gonna go eat pasta sauce
on the couch and watch TV.
[ Glass shatters,
Klaus screams ]
Uhhh... okay, Klaus.
This frog thing is out of hand?
I just want Jumpers and his
friends to feel comfortable.
Klaus: Guys!
Greg's audition is gonna
start soon if you wanna watch.
[ Munches ]
You ready for this?
Huh?
Oh, yeah. Born ready.
Is that the scout?
That's him.
Take your shot!
You're going
to love Greg.
His mood maneuvers
are impeccable.
He never says
the sad stuff happy.
Good morning and welcome
to the Channel 3
9:00 news.
I'm Greg Corbin.
[ Upbeat ] Langley Animal Clinic
celebrated
their hundredth anniversary
with a dog parade.
Last night, a man was
found dead in a soup bowl.
Sorry, I mean...
with a dog parade!
[ Somber ] Last night, a man
was found dead in a soup bowl.
This is embarrassing.
In international news,
America lost three soldiers
on the Pakistan border.
[ Upbeat ] But they were later
found in a nearby mall!
Dead! Of self-inflicted
gunshot wounds!
Oh, dangit!
[ Clatters ]
No, no, no, don't leave!
[ Door slams ]
You.
Me?
Francine Smith.
You kept me awake
the entire week
with your stupid, loud frogs!
You cost me my chance
at going national.
I'm going to sue you!
[ Cellphone buzzes ]
What, Greg?
It's Greg. Oh.
I wasn't sure if you
were watching,
so I'm calling to tell you
I'm suing you.
Of course I'm watching.
I'm your friend!
And you're going
down, asshole.
I won't let you come
between me and my family.
Your family?
I'm suing about the frogs.
Exactly!
Frogs equal family.
It's the three Fs.
Frogs, family, and my name
is Francine.
Then I guess
I'll see you in court.
I guess you will!
Hi. I'd like a big, big, big,
big meatball sandwich, please.
The biggest you've got.
Case number 543A,
Corbin vs. Smith.
Ah! Sorry, sorry.
Greg looks worse than
he did on the news.
He still hasn't slept.
I saw Jumpers
and a group of frogs
sitting right outside
his window last night.
You think Jumpers
is sabotaging him?
[ Eerie music plays]
Hi, Jumpers!
Mm. I'm not going to read
these documents.
You, begin.
Your Honor, I need
Francine Smith
to remove the frogs
from her backyard.
They're keeping me
awake!
♪ Order in the court! ♪
I'm trying to get
a television show,
so I might be a bit wild today.
Mr. Corbin,
do you have evidence?
Yes, listen
to these frogs!
March 12th,
sibilance practice.
Single Susan sits
somewhere silently.
I don't understand.
I checked it this morning.
[ Croaks ]
This frog is quiet.
He's acting,
Your Honor!
Don't shave my legs with
a pine cone
and call it a razor!
We'll recess
until tomorrow.
[ Frogs croaking ]
That was amazing.
I was gonna wait for the verdict
to pop the champagne,
but I'm ready now.
[ Pops ]
I felt kind of bad
for Greg.
Me too.
He looked like crap,
and he's usually
so striking.
The frogs
are loud, Mom.
What's your point?
It wouldn't hurt to maybe
get rid of some of them.
Greg just wants to be
able to sleep.
But they're the whole
reason we've been
spending time together.
It was exciting for awhile
to have
a fun new thing to do
in the backyard, but...
That's it!
We've been limiting ourselves
to the backyard.
Did someone say tributary?
[ Frogs croaking ]
Now nothing can come
between me and my family.
Judge Grenier: Welcome back.
Let's skip right to the end.
Closing statements, go.
Your Honor, it comes down
to the three Fs.
Frogs, family,
and Francine.
If that's not the three Fs,
I don't know what is.
Oh [bleep] right
in his [bleep] face.
You want something
in your face, Your Honor?
How about some
surprise witnesses!
[ Gasps ]
Whaaaat?
It is crazy in here!
They're testifying
against Francine?
That's...
Perfidious.
What the...?
The frogs are loud.
Things have
gotten bad,
and we're worried
they're going to get worse.
What if I told you I have
an app where people
such as yourself could meet
other people such as themselves?
She tore down the kitchen wall
to let the frogs inside.
She put 12 humidifiers
in my room.
Order, order!
You already said something!
[ Sighs ]
It is with great thought
and consideration
that I make this judgement.
Francine wins!
She can keep the frogs
and let those babies thrive.
[ Gasping ]
Really?
Your ass is dismissed!
And here's my ass.
What?
This isn't the last
you've heard of me, Francine.
Mom, please
don't be mad.
[ Croaking ]
[ English accent ]
They betrayed you, Francine.
You betrayed me.
Wait.
You can talk?
Of course we can talk!
But we couldn't get you
to listen.
[ Croaking ]
All you've done is listen.
You constantly cater
to their needs.
That's true!
I thought I was doing what was
best for my family.
We're your family now.
Exile them!
Your Honor, I'd like
a restraining order
against my family.
Granted!
She's incredible!
[ Sighs, thuds ]
Let's go, Jumpers.
Wait, Francine,
can we still have sex?
No.
Okay, well, you're still
attracted to me right?
Not as much.
[ Gasps ]
My new beta tester!
Stan, I'm marking you down
as bisexual.
Is that cool?
I mean, it's not like
I own the word "perfidious."
But Francine just said
it like it was hers.
Mom's phone isn't
even ringing anymore.
[ Chimes ]
Your mother made her choice.
We're moving on.
Moving on with a little help
from Barrel Scraper.
Let me see what you wrote
for your profile.
"My name is Stan.
My wife doesn't find me
attractive anymore.
Maybe you will like
my ugly face.
Will you take care
of my kids?
You must hate frogs."
It's perfect.
[ Chimes ]
You got a match!
I'll see if she wants
to meet up right now.
I wish we could figure out
what's up with Jumpers.
It's like Mom is under
his spell or something.
I have an idea.
Jeff, drive us to Groff.
There's a herpetologist
there we can talk to.
Ooh, I learned
this word recently.
A herpetologist studies
reptiles and amphibians.
Don't tell
Francine, though.
She'll be like
[imitating Francine]
herpetologist, herpetologist.
[ Normal voice ]
Right, Jeff?
Drop Stan off at
Frog Ross Restaurant
for his first date.
Frog Ross Restaurant?!
You know frogs
remind me of her!
Why? Because of
the frog thing?
Jeff, will you hang
with me in the van?
I want to keep talking
through my feelings.
Harrison: If these frogs have
moved into your house
like you say,
then you're already too late.
What do you mean?
Oh, those aren't just
any normal frogs.
They're the Brazilian
Cuckoo Frog.
And they're extremely
danger... [ Coughs ]
Sorry. My spit went down
the wrong pipe.
[ Clears throat ]
They're extremely dangerous.
This breed of frog
follows a pack of
animals around
like wolves follow bison
to see if one of the pack
is trailing behind.
Because usually if an animal
is trailing behind,
it means they are
being ignored and isolated.
The frogs surround this animal
and shower it with attention,
time, even treats...
...until the animal
is so entranced,
that it leaves its own pack
and joins the frog army.
Army is what a group
of frogs is called.
All: Oh!
Once the animal
is in the army,
it will do anything
to protect the frogs.
[ Doorbell rings ]
Package of lily pads
for Francine Smith.
Ma'am, are you okay?
I'm gonna call
someone for you. Ah!
Harrison: And the army
will do anything to keep
the animal for themselves.
And then yada, yada, yada,
the frogs make a foam nest
to lay their eggs in,
and the animal offers herself up
to the newly hatched tadpoles
who devour her
from the inside out.
Exsqueeze me?!
We have to go save Mom
before she's eaten!
What's so funny?
That ex squeeze me...
just always gets me.
And that's all there
is about me.
That's the first thing
you've said.
Hi.
I'm your waiter, Tipdip.
Are you ready to order?
Now, I haven't been on a date
in a very long time
because I've been married
to the love of my life,
but I do remember that
a woman thinks it's sexy
when a man orders.
She'll start with
an alcoholic Oreo milkshake,
extra thick.
For the entree,
the halibut linguine,
but scratch the halibut
and make it a whole branzino,
its eyes
towards the lady.
But not staring here,
because her eyes are up here.
Right above her
beautiful breasts.
[ Cellphone buzzes ]
- Hello?
- Steve: Dad!
Does Frog Ross still have
that big mechanical frog?
♪ Low ri-der ♪
[ Frogs croaking ]
"Sorry we didn't continue
to love frogs."
Psh. It's a start.
Bring it out back.
Roger: Guessing that's
the foam nest.
Steve: They're starting
to lay their eggs.
We have to wait for Mom
to be asleep,
or she'll fight us off.
Good thing we're here
in time for Mom's
famous lawn chair
night nap.
Ahhh!
Greg?!
I'm here to kill
all the frogs!
Starting with
this real big one!
Ow!
A Trojan frog?
I should have known.
Where are the real frogs?
In the foam!
Aaah!
Francine, come with us.
These frogs are going
to eat you.
I want them to.
Because they're my family.
They're not your family,
we are!
It is time.
Adios.
- Mom!
- Save her!
Mom?
Hello?
Where is everyone?
I feel so... isolated.
[ Frogs croaking ]
Mom, I'm scared.
I'm sorry if this is how alone
we made you feel.
We should've swam
when you asked us to,
after you worked so hard
on the pool.
We shouldn't have needed
the frogs!
We're sorry!
Stan!
Was that you?
What did you think
of the app's usability?
Hi, little guy!
[ Squeaking ]
Well, now
I'm a "tad" concerned.
[ Laughs ]
Funny right till the end.
I'm so sorry!
I don't know
what came over me.
[ Croaking ]
Francine, darling,
where are you going?
The babies are hatching.
I can't be your babies'
first meal.
I have to be with my family.
Is Mom talking
to Jumpers?
Ribbit.
[ Croaking ]
Jumpers, what we had
was special...
Cut the crap.
I promised my family
the three Fs.
Francine frog food.
Greg's in there.
Eat him.
Uh, no. He smells.
It's you we want.
[ Croaking ]
[ Screams ]
Harrison: Eat me!
It's been my life's dream
to be the first human sacrifice
for the Brazilian Cuckoo Frog.
I almost was once,
but my idiotic family saved me.
[ Croaks, sniffs ]
This works.
[ Splashes ]
No! Ah, yes!
[ Groans ]
Yes! [ Screams ]
[ Belching ]
Farewell, Francine.
It's been a pleasure.
And to the rest of
the Smith family,
ribbit, ribbit.
Bye, Jumpers!
Wow, look what just a little bit
of rest did for Greg.
You all left me
with Klaus,
you perfidious [bleep]
Bye! Have a beautiful time!