American Dad! (2005–…): Season 16, Episode 19 - Family Time - full transcript
Stan and the family go out to dinner at a buffet restaurant; Roger becomes a flower.
Now for the question that I'm
famous for asking on fridays...
What's everyone
doing this weekend?
Me and dick are gonna go
check out this cranberry bog.
Down in the chimdale wetlands.
How about you, deputy director?
Oh, I'm going to a
different cranberry bog.
Oh, nice!
Alright, men. Back to work.
We're in the middle
of a giant mission!
Do you have any plans
this weekend, stan?
Hey, would you mind
asking the other guys?
I feel like if I answer,
I'll get trapped in a
conversation with you.
But you're the only
one with a family,
And families have
always fascinated me.
Because I don't have one.
That's a stupid reason to
be fascinated by something.
I don't have a vagina and
I never think about those.
Well, now I'm thinking
about them a little bit.
Thanks a lot, weitzman. Now
I have to go home at lunch.
Hey, wait!
I have a coupon to take a
whole family to a buffet.
Zoinks! Thanks, dr. Weitzman!
Maybe I could join you guys.
Oh, I couldn't ask
you to do that.
After all, you
gave us the coupon.
You've done enough.
So how's your day going?
Sorry. I don't like
a lot of chitchat.
While I'm getting my nails done.
Buckle, what's good, my man?!
Everyone... everyone
get in the car!
Stan, you can't
just kick the door.
Off its hinges and scream at us.
There's a new buffet
in town.
And I got us a coupon
for free everything.
Everyone get in the car!
Aah!
Hey, rog, is dad forcing
you to go to the buffet too?
What... what's that? I'm sorry.
It's just that I am
thinking about, like,
A billion things right now.
what were you asking me?
I just wanted to know if you
were coming to the buffet.
he thinks
I can go to a buffet!
Now. In the middle
of this chaos!
You don't look stressed, roger.
You're... You're
just sitting here.
Stan: Steven! Leave him!
Maybe it looks that way.
But up here, full meltdown.
Imagine a thousand chernobyls
and you're halfway there.
So
2,000 chernobyls?
You can't put a
number on it, steve!
It's one meltdown!
Why are we speeding?
We just spent 45 minutes
decorating the car.
What do I love
most about buffets?
In a word... camaraderie.
I thought we'd get together
and do something fun,
Go eat cafeteria
style, like at camp.
Camp isn't fun.
They force you to sing
and ride horses all day.
You chose musical horse camp.
Oh, I thought the horses
were gonna make the music.
Well, forcing us to eat
together isn't camaraderie.
Steve, I'm hearing
that you feel "forced."
Could you expand on that?
I guess these handcuffs give
me that "forced" feeling.
The feelings you're feeling.
Are very natural
family time feelings.
Would anyone like to know
how I feel about buffets?
This long silence has
got to be tough for you.
Make way! Coupon holder!
Man with a coupon
coming through!
welcome to
the king's choice buffet.
When you're royalty,
you're here.
The vip section is
located in the back.
Here's your wristbands.
Ew.
It's a little weird that this
buffet has a vip section, right?
You wanna hear something weird?
The goodyear blimp
is the official bird.
Of redondo beach, california.
Oh, you guys wanna hear
something really weird?
Zerp znap za-noodle!
Sit yo ass down.
You need to hear my patented
rules of the buffet.
Rule one... there are no rules.
Wowwww.
Rule two... Never
fill up on bread.
Rule three... Plates
are for losers.
Cut out the middleman
and pile your food.
Directly onto your tray.
Rules 4 through 100.
Only apply to buffets
at strip clubs.
And most important, rule 101...
You can never have a
bad time at the buffet.
Cold melon and scallop soup?
Uhhh, I'll take nasty-ass
soups for $200, alex.
Survey says...
I have to smell it!
Ugh! Aah!
I'd like to solve
the puzzle, pat.
This. Is. A. Disaster.
I thought a walk
would clear my head.
But I'm just getting
more stressed out!
Look at those flowers.
Not a care in the world.
Sitting around
eating bees all day.
Do I dare?
No, no, you're
being silly, roger,
With all the irons
you have in the fire.
But on the other hand
ahhh,
meltdown averted.
Yuck, I don't like the
taste, but I'm a flower,
So I gotta get used
to eating bees.
Can we leave now?
The place is closing.
Not until we get the special
vip dessert we were promised.
What the...
Man:
welcome, smith family.
I'm so glad you
joined us for dinner,
But your time here is just
oh!
Okay, who left this cart out?
Oh, I just bashed my shin!
Oh, turn on the lights!
Man: Not those lights!
Why would I want
the disco lights?!
Together: Dr. Weitzman?!
That's right! Oh, sorry.
my
evil genius voice.
Sounded cool, though, right?
Sorry about my real voice.
I'm making you my family!
What is happening?!
Geez, hayley, are you dense?
Dr. Weitzman is a lonely person.
He wants a family.
He's gonna force us to live
with him forever in accordance.
To whatever his demented
idea of a "family" is.
I'm assuming these
vip wristbands.
Are rigged with explosives.
And we've been drugged
with a neurotoxin.
To temporarily paralyze... Us.
I don't know if I'd call
my ideas "demented."
Plus I wanted to be the one
to say all my demented shit.
Home sweet home.
Stan, are you okay? Okay?
I'm having a blast! You are?
Of course!
Rule 101... you can't have
a bad time at the buffet.
Huh. That's an interesting way
of looking at things, honey.
Excuse me, ma'am.
My sheets are a little tight.
Oh, no, are they a little tight?
They're supposed
to be very tight.
What about all the other
people at the restaurant?
Were they... background actors.
They actually were all extras.
From the "marvelous
mrs. Maisel" set.
Great show. Getting
worse every year.
Can you help us get
out of here? No.
What kind of person are you?
I'm not a person. I'm a robot.
Dr. Weitzman made me.
And then he named
me after a stripper.
He once fell in love with.
Okay, put your face
back on, chardonnay.
No one likes when you do that.
Oh, god, are you two...
I wish!
No, my hostess robot
became sentient,
And as per usual I'm stuck
in the "friend zone."
Okay, it's nigh-nighs,
my sweet family.
Roger: ahhh,
this is the life. No stress.
Just eating bees, not thinking
a million miles an hour.
I wonder why bees aren't
more afraid of flowers.
Oh, no.
Let's go!
Steal as many flowers
as you can for the shop!
I don't like this one bit.
What's that thing?
I thought it was a flower,
but I'm not so sure now.
Check out its nasty root bulb.
It looks like a gross, gray ass.
Eh, let's put it in the van.
Maybe some freak will like it.
And now to the cemetery
for more free flowers!
Roger:
this is so stressful.
Dr. Weitzman
must've woken me up.
Seven times last night walking
to the bathroom to pee.
If you ask me, he should spend
less time imprisoning families.
And more time
imprisoning urologists.
But counterpoint...
What a great night!
I mean, when was the last time.
We all slept together
in the same room?
Obviously I'm not
counting our annual trip.
To the gathering
of the juggalos.
Good morning, my
beautiful children.
Can you please let us go?!
There must be some
humanity inside you!
Sounds like you guys are hangry.
Who wants monte cristos?
Stan: The american riff
on a croque monsieur?!
Sign me up!
Now, two simple rules here
in the weitzman home...
I'm in control of everything,
And that door over
there is off limits.
I think that
door might be significant.
Yeah, no shit.
Dr. Weitzman...
Call me dad. No.
Uncle? That's worse.
Dr. Weitzman, why
are you doing this?
Great question, franny.
Chardonnay, roll tape
and do it like...
Christoph waltz.
Waltz's voice: Christoph
waltz mode initiated.
No one knows when or where
dr. Weitzman was born.
He was abandoned as a baby
in the lanceton sewers,
Where even the rats
refused to be his family.
Dr. Weitzman's adolescence.
Was spent in and
out of orphanages.
He briefly appeared on
"the mickey mouse club".
Until he caught the attention of
the show's legendary producer.
And was quickly removed.
Then back to his sewers
for doctor school.
But even after becoming a
successful c.I.A. Doctor,
He could never find
the right woman.
So he was never able
to start the family.
He dreamt of his whole life.
And adoption was
out of the question.
Because obviously his
appearance terrifies children...
Chardonnay, did I sign
off on this artwork?
We're screwed.
You know how stubborn dad is.
He'll never admit you can
have a bad time at the buffet.
You're right.
If we're getting out
of here, it's up to us.
I did it.
I ate all that disgusting soup.
And now to...
Well, shit.
Come on, that door
has to be the exit!
oh, you goofy kids!
Always playing pranks.
I think you all
will love it here.
The days are gonna fly by.
If you don't believe me,
check out this montage.
"who framed roger rabbit"!
Okay, gang, just
checked the time.
And it's "rock" o'clock.
Be right back with the acoustic.
I can't do it.
I can't listen to him play.
Another death cab
for cutie song.
I guess some of them are
technically postal service.
I've been trying to
smile through all this,
'cause rules are rules.
But some rules
are meant to be...
Broken?
To a crisp.
I have a plan.
Everybody sneak a monte cristo
sandwich into bed tonight.
This plan sounds delicious, dad.
Don't be cute, steve.
dad!
We all brought
sandwiches to bed.
What's the plan?
Five minutes, son.
Stan!
Chumbawumba! Okay.
Everything we need
for our escape.
Is right here in the
monte cristo sandwich.
I'll remove it from the
baggie and just lightly touch.
The grease-soaked
bread to the sheets.
Wow. And gross.
Next we use the jam.
Wow, that's strong
jam.
I think I just figured out
why I almost died of diarrhea.
Wait. It's powdered sugar time.
We're not going this way,
but it looks cool, right?
Wait, we should grab klaus!
There's no time!
Next, everyone take the ham out
of your sandwich and eat it.
It's the perfect
protein-rich snack.
To keep our motors humming.
Klaus: Is anyone there?!
It sounds like four
people eating ham!
Good ham.
Oh, man, the forbidden
door is locked!
Luckily, the "giving sandwich"
has one last thing to give.
The bread.
This isn't an exit.
It's a graveyard.
Look at the way they're grouped.
I think they're...
Other families.
Yes, there are a
lot of dead bodies,
But at least it's
not a gift shop.
I hate crass commercialism.
But the skeletons are for sale.
I make keychains!
Perfect for a gas
station bathroom!
Do you have any gas
station owner friends.
Who have a birthday coming up?
You killed all those families?
What? No, they
killed themselves.
On average, most
offed themselves.
After living with
dr. Weitzman for three days.
Though the current record
is the shelmerdines,
Who only lasted 45 minutes.
That hurt my feelings.
But you guys really hurt my
feelings trying to escape.
I thought you loved me.
Wait, the other families
killed themselves.
Without trying to escape?
Well, it was before my
online guitar lessons.
before
I got really good.
You suck at guitar.
Yeah, man, you suck at guitar.
Keep it up, guys. I
think this is working.
Keep mocking him.
You have long,
beautiful eyelashes.
No, honey!
Aaand you always cuff
your sleeves like cam.
From "modern family."
That's not good?
Wizard alert!
Get out!
Get out!
How'd you know he'd let us go?
Actually I was sure
he was gonna kill us,
So I just wanted to
get it over with.
I can't believe it. We're home!
There you all are!
You're good hiders!
I've been looking for months.
Jeff, did you think
we were playing.
Hide and seek this whole time?
In September I doubted
it for a second.
But then I found this clue.
So I took apart
the water heater,
But you guys weren't in there.
There certainly was
a smell, though.
And a lot of scalding water.
And you guys stayed
true to the game.
When I screamed in agony
for help, you stayed hidden.
And you didn't visit
me in the burn ward.
I can't tell you how
much I respect that.
And now the game is over
and I don't know why.
I guess I can return to my life.
Right back in.
Hi.
- Flower delivery!
- Whoo!
Smells like dead
bees and cigarettes.
It's been in the
shop for two months.
Your sweetheart got an
unbelievable price on it.
Adam, you got me flowers?!
I am adam and I am guilty.
Whoaaaa, that guy's hot.
The dang door's
blockin' the hot body!
I love it!
Roger: so
I'm a symbol of love.
That's nice.
Jenny: I can't believe
you remembered.
That I love grotesque flowers.
- Ooh!
- Mm.
Stan, I'm happy to be home,
But does something
feel... Off to you?
There's no buffet and I hate it.
I'm feelin' it too, dad.
There was just so much food.
I think that's what
I loved about it.
Sounds crazy, but
maybe we're all...
Steve: Concerned
about jeff? Me too.
I think there's something
really wrong there.
He's not, like, fun
stupid, ya know.
I worry hayley might
be committing a crime.
Being married to him.
Maybe we meet with the lawyer,
Get on record what
we knew when...
We're talking about the buffet.
Oh, my god, the buffet!
I miss the buffet!
We all do! We gotta go back!
Maybe we just have
stockholm syndrome?
If that means overwhelming
desire to break into a buffet,
Then I got the stock, homes.
And now for dessert.
Roger:
they're so in love.
And I'm so relaxed.
get off me!
He's home early!
Now, who the hell is this?
Man: Jennifer, what's going on?
What is that hideous flower?
Your wife happens to
love hideous flowers!
my best friend
and business partner!
Oh, my jangled nerves!
Oh, good, they're
all gun owners.
This should de-escalate quickly.
That's a tip for
everyone at home...
No one ever shoots the flower.
Dr. Weitzman is never
gonna let us back in.
Remember how we used.
The monte cristo
sandwich to get out?
Here's a sandwich
to help us get in...
A c-4 sandwich.
There are also some tuna
sandwiches in the bag.
In case anyone wants to scarf.
Wait, this is the c-4 sandwich.
Wait a second. That
means the tuna...
Stan, did you buy
the cheap tuna again?
No! It was me!
You bought the cheap tuna?
No, I blew up the
wall from the inside.
What a twist! Why?
Because my family
came back to me.
I'm just so excited!
This guy's not cool.
I'm starting to think
this was a mistake.
No, no, no, no, let
me get my guitar!
And some legos!
You guys came to rescue me!
Yes. Yes, we did.
Let's not be here when
dr. Weitzman comes back.
But the buffet!
I still want a dried-out
piece of dover sole.
And a sweaty sweet potato pie.
I guess we could try the
buffet across the street.
Hayley: "smiths eat free"?
I like that price.
Come on in!
Leave whenever you like!
I'm not lonely!
Bye-bye! See you soon!
famous for asking on fridays...
What's everyone
doing this weekend?
Me and dick are gonna go
check out this cranberry bog.
Down in the chimdale wetlands.
How about you, deputy director?
Oh, I'm going to a
different cranberry bog.
Oh, nice!
Alright, men. Back to work.
We're in the middle
of a giant mission!
Do you have any plans
this weekend, stan?
Hey, would you mind
asking the other guys?
I feel like if I answer,
I'll get trapped in a
conversation with you.
But you're the only
one with a family,
And families have
always fascinated me.
Because I don't have one.
That's a stupid reason to
be fascinated by something.
I don't have a vagina and
I never think about those.
Well, now I'm thinking
about them a little bit.
Thanks a lot, weitzman. Now
I have to go home at lunch.
Hey, wait!
I have a coupon to take a
whole family to a buffet.
Zoinks! Thanks, dr. Weitzman!
Maybe I could join you guys.
Oh, I couldn't ask
you to do that.
After all, you
gave us the coupon.
You've done enough.
So how's your day going?
Sorry. I don't like
a lot of chitchat.
While I'm getting my nails done.
Buckle, what's good, my man?!
Everyone... everyone
get in the car!
Stan, you can't
just kick the door.
Off its hinges and scream at us.
There's a new buffet
in town.
And I got us a coupon
for free everything.
Everyone get in the car!
Aah!
Hey, rog, is dad forcing
you to go to the buffet too?
What... what's that? I'm sorry.
It's just that I am
thinking about, like,
A billion things right now.
what were you asking me?
I just wanted to know if you
were coming to the buffet.
he thinks
I can go to a buffet!
Now. In the middle
of this chaos!
You don't look stressed, roger.
You're... You're
just sitting here.
Stan: Steven! Leave him!
Maybe it looks that way.
But up here, full meltdown.
Imagine a thousand chernobyls
and you're halfway there.
So
2,000 chernobyls?
You can't put a
number on it, steve!
It's one meltdown!
Why are we speeding?
We just spent 45 minutes
decorating the car.
What do I love
most about buffets?
In a word... camaraderie.
I thought we'd get together
and do something fun,
Go eat cafeteria
style, like at camp.
Camp isn't fun.
They force you to sing
and ride horses all day.
You chose musical horse camp.
Oh, I thought the horses
were gonna make the music.
Well, forcing us to eat
together isn't camaraderie.
Steve, I'm hearing
that you feel "forced."
Could you expand on that?
I guess these handcuffs give
me that "forced" feeling.
The feelings you're feeling.
Are very natural
family time feelings.
Would anyone like to know
how I feel about buffets?
This long silence has
got to be tough for you.
Make way! Coupon holder!
Man with a coupon
coming through!
welcome to
the king's choice buffet.
When you're royalty,
you're here.
The vip section is
located in the back.
Here's your wristbands.
Ew.
It's a little weird that this
buffet has a vip section, right?
You wanna hear something weird?
The goodyear blimp
is the official bird.
Of redondo beach, california.
Oh, you guys wanna hear
something really weird?
Zerp znap za-noodle!
Sit yo ass down.
You need to hear my patented
rules of the buffet.
Rule one... there are no rules.
Wowwww.
Rule two... Never
fill up on bread.
Rule three... Plates
are for losers.
Cut out the middleman
and pile your food.
Directly onto your tray.
Rules 4 through 100.
Only apply to buffets
at strip clubs.
And most important, rule 101...
You can never have a
bad time at the buffet.
Cold melon and scallop soup?
Uhhh, I'll take nasty-ass
soups for $200, alex.
Survey says...
I have to smell it!
Ugh! Aah!
I'd like to solve
the puzzle, pat.
This. Is. A. Disaster.
I thought a walk
would clear my head.
But I'm just getting
more stressed out!
Look at those flowers.
Not a care in the world.
Sitting around
eating bees all day.
Do I dare?
No, no, you're
being silly, roger,
With all the irons
you have in the fire.
But on the other hand
ahhh,
meltdown averted.
Yuck, I don't like the
taste, but I'm a flower,
So I gotta get used
to eating bees.
Can we leave now?
The place is closing.
Not until we get the special
vip dessert we were promised.
What the...
Man:
welcome, smith family.
I'm so glad you
joined us for dinner,
But your time here is just
oh!
Okay, who left this cart out?
Oh, I just bashed my shin!
Oh, turn on the lights!
Man: Not those lights!
Why would I want
the disco lights?!
Together: Dr. Weitzman?!
That's right! Oh, sorry.
my
evil genius voice.
Sounded cool, though, right?
Sorry about my real voice.
I'm making you my family!
What is happening?!
Geez, hayley, are you dense?
Dr. Weitzman is a lonely person.
He wants a family.
He's gonna force us to live
with him forever in accordance.
To whatever his demented
idea of a "family" is.
I'm assuming these
vip wristbands.
Are rigged with explosives.
And we've been drugged
with a neurotoxin.
To temporarily paralyze... Us.
I don't know if I'd call
my ideas "demented."
Plus I wanted to be the one
to say all my demented shit.
Home sweet home.
Stan, are you okay? Okay?
I'm having a blast! You are?
Of course!
Rule 101... you can't have
a bad time at the buffet.
Huh. That's an interesting way
of looking at things, honey.
Excuse me, ma'am.
My sheets are a little tight.
Oh, no, are they a little tight?
They're supposed
to be very tight.
What about all the other
people at the restaurant?
Were they... background actors.
They actually were all extras.
From the "marvelous
mrs. Maisel" set.
Great show. Getting
worse every year.
Can you help us get
out of here? No.
What kind of person are you?
I'm not a person. I'm a robot.
Dr. Weitzman made me.
And then he named
me after a stripper.
He once fell in love with.
Okay, put your face
back on, chardonnay.
No one likes when you do that.
Oh, god, are you two...
I wish!
No, my hostess robot
became sentient,
And as per usual I'm stuck
in the "friend zone."
Okay, it's nigh-nighs,
my sweet family.
Roger: ahhh,
this is the life. No stress.
Just eating bees, not thinking
a million miles an hour.
I wonder why bees aren't
more afraid of flowers.
Oh, no.
Let's go!
Steal as many flowers
as you can for the shop!
I don't like this one bit.
What's that thing?
I thought it was a flower,
but I'm not so sure now.
Check out its nasty root bulb.
It looks like a gross, gray ass.
Eh, let's put it in the van.
Maybe some freak will like it.
And now to the cemetery
for more free flowers!
Roger:
this is so stressful.
Dr. Weitzman
must've woken me up.
Seven times last night walking
to the bathroom to pee.
If you ask me, he should spend
less time imprisoning families.
And more time
imprisoning urologists.
But counterpoint...
What a great night!
I mean, when was the last time.
We all slept together
in the same room?
Obviously I'm not
counting our annual trip.
To the gathering
of the juggalos.
Good morning, my
beautiful children.
Can you please let us go?!
There must be some
humanity inside you!
Sounds like you guys are hangry.
Who wants monte cristos?
Stan: The american riff
on a croque monsieur?!
Sign me up!
Now, two simple rules here
in the weitzman home...
I'm in control of everything,
And that door over
there is off limits.
I think that
door might be significant.
Yeah, no shit.
Dr. Weitzman...
Call me dad. No.
Uncle? That's worse.
Dr. Weitzman, why
are you doing this?
Great question, franny.
Chardonnay, roll tape
and do it like...
Christoph waltz.
Waltz's voice: Christoph
waltz mode initiated.
No one knows when or where
dr. Weitzman was born.
He was abandoned as a baby
in the lanceton sewers,
Where even the rats
refused to be his family.
Dr. Weitzman's adolescence.
Was spent in and
out of orphanages.
He briefly appeared on
"the mickey mouse club".
Until he caught the attention of
the show's legendary producer.
And was quickly removed.
Then back to his sewers
for doctor school.
But even after becoming a
successful c.I.A. Doctor,
He could never find
the right woman.
So he was never able
to start the family.
He dreamt of his whole life.
And adoption was
out of the question.
Because obviously his
appearance terrifies children...
Chardonnay, did I sign
off on this artwork?
We're screwed.
You know how stubborn dad is.
He'll never admit you can
have a bad time at the buffet.
You're right.
If we're getting out
of here, it's up to us.
I did it.
I ate all that disgusting soup.
And now to...
Well, shit.
Come on, that door
has to be the exit!
oh, you goofy kids!
Always playing pranks.
I think you all
will love it here.
The days are gonna fly by.
If you don't believe me,
check out this montage.
"who framed roger rabbit"!
Okay, gang, just
checked the time.
And it's "rock" o'clock.
Be right back with the acoustic.
I can't do it.
I can't listen to him play.
Another death cab
for cutie song.
I guess some of them are
technically postal service.
I've been trying to
smile through all this,
'cause rules are rules.
But some rules
are meant to be...
Broken?
To a crisp.
I have a plan.
Everybody sneak a monte cristo
sandwich into bed tonight.
This plan sounds delicious, dad.
Don't be cute, steve.
dad!
We all brought
sandwiches to bed.
What's the plan?
Five minutes, son.
Stan!
Chumbawumba! Okay.
Everything we need
for our escape.
Is right here in the
monte cristo sandwich.
I'll remove it from the
baggie and just lightly touch.
The grease-soaked
bread to the sheets.
Wow. And gross.
Next we use the jam.
Wow, that's strong
jam.
I think I just figured out
why I almost died of diarrhea.
Wait. It's powdered sugar time.
We're not going this way,
but it looks cool, right?
Wait, we should grab klaus!
There's no time!
Next, everyone take the ham out
of your sandwich and eat it.
It's the perfect
protein-rich snack.
To keep our motors humming.
Klaus: Is anyone there?!
It sounds like four
people eating ham!
Good ham.
Oh, man, the forbidden
door is locked!
Luckily, the "giving sandwich"
has one last thing to give.
The bread.
This isn't an exit.
It's a graveyard.
Look at the way they're grouped.
I think they're...
Other families.
Yes, there are a
lot of dead bodies,
But at least it's
not a gift shop.
I hate crass commercialism.
But the skeletons are for sale.
I make keychains!
Perfect for a gas
station bathroom!
Do you have any gas
station owner friends.
Who have a birthday coming up?
You killed all those families?
What? No, they
killed themselves.
On average, most
offed themselves.
After living with
dr. Weitzman for three days.
Though the current record
is the shelmerdines,
Who only lasted 45 minutes.
That hurt my feelings.
But you guys really hurt my
feelings trying to escape.
I thought you loved me.
Wait, the other families
killed themselves.
Without trying to escape?
Well, it was before my
online guitar lessons.
before
I got really good.
You suck at guitar.
Yeah, man, you suck at guitar.
Keep it up, guys. I
think this is working.
Keep mocking him.
You have long,
beautiful eyelashes.
No, honey!
Aaand you always cuff
your sleeves like cam.
From "modern family."
That's not good?
Wizard alert!
Get out!
Get out!
How'd you know he'd let us go?
Actually I was sure
he was gonna kill us,
So I just wanted to
get it over with.
I can't believe it. We're home!
There you all are!
You're good hiders!
I've been looking for months.
Jeff, did you think
we were playing.
Hide and seek this whole time?
In September I doubted
it for a second.
But then I found this clue.
So I took apart
the water heater,
But you guys weren't in there.
There certainly was
a smell, though.
And a lot of scalding water.
And you guys stayed
true to the game.
When I screamed in agony
for help, you stayed hidden.
And you didn't visit
me in the burn ward.
I can't tell you how
much I respect that.
And now the game is over
and I don't know why.
I guess I can return to my life.
Right back in.
Hi.
- Flower delivery!
- Whoo!
Smells like dead
bees and cigarettes.
It's been in the
shop for two months.
Your sweetheart got an
unbelievable price on it.
Adam, you got me flowers?!
I am adam and I am guilty.
Whoaaaa, that guy's hot.
The dang door's
blockin' the hot body!
I love it!
Roger: so
I'm a symbol of love.
That's nice.
Jenny: I can't believe
you remembered.
That I love grotesque flowers.
- Ooh!
- Mm.
Stan, I'm happy to be home,
But does something
feel... Off to you?
There's no buffet and I hate it.
I'm feelin' it too, dad.
There was just so much food.
I think that's what
I loved about it.
Sounds crazy, but
maybe we're all...
Steve: Concerned
about jeff? Me too.
I think there's something
really wrong there.
He's not, like, fun
stupid, ya know.
I worry hayley might
be committing a crime.
Being married to him.
Maybe we meet with the lawyer,
Get on record what
we knew when...
We're talking about the buffet.
Oh, my god, the buffet!
I miss the buffet!
We all do! We gotta go back!
Maybe we just have
stockholm syndrome?
If that means overwhelming
desire to break into a buffet,
Then I got the stock, homes.
And now for dessert.
Roger:
they're so in love.
And I'm so relaxed.
get off me!
He's home early!
Now, who the hell is this?
Man: Jennifer, what's going on?
What is that hideous flower?
Your wife happens to
love hideous flowers!
my best friend
and business partner!
Oh, my jangled nerves!
Oh, good, they're
all gun owners.
This should de-escalate quickly.
That's a tip for
everyone at home...
No one ever shoots the flower.
Dr. Weitzman is never
gonna let us back in.
Remember how we used.
The monte cristo
sandwich to get out?
Here's a sandwich
to help us get in...
A c-4 sandwich.
There are also some tuna
sandwiches in the bag.
In case anyone wants to scarf.
Wait, this is the c-4 sandwich.
Wait a second. That
means the tuna...
Stan, did you buy
the cheap tuna again?
No! It was me!
You bought the cheap tuna?
No, I blew up the
wall from the inside.
What a twist! Why?
Because my family
came back to me.
I'm just so excited!
This guy's not cool.
I'm starting to think
this was a mistake.
No, no, no, no, let
me get my guitar!
And some legos!
You guys came to rescue me!
Yes. Yes, we did.
Let's not be here when
dr. Weitzman comes back.
But the buffet!
I still want a dried-out
piece of dover sole.
And a sweaty sweet potato pie.
I guess we could try the
buffet across the street.
Hayley: "smiths eat free"?
I like that price.
Come on in!
Leave whenever you like!
I'm not lonely!
Bye-bye! See you soon!