Alone (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 9 - The Madness - full transcript
After a month in the bush, nature and seclusion prove tough to handle, while some push to tough it out and others question their ability to last.
[dramatic music]
*
- This move is
a complete game changer
so long as I can find food
from the ocean,
but if I don't catch a fish
on those lines,
I don't know
what's gonna happen.
- We've got a 600-pound log
that floated in
over my gill net.
I have to get this cove
figured out.
- I need to finish the boat.
I'm so pressed for time
wondering if those salmon are
running yet.
- I've thought, "Maybe after
I get down climbing a mountain,
then I'll just hang it up."
Yeah!
And right now, that's
the last thing on my mind.
I feel recharged,
and I feel like
I can take on the world.
- Who are you when everything's
been stripped away?
[bleep].
- [yelping]
- It's scary out here
in these woods.
- I have not had
a serious meal in a week.
- If I can't get a fire,
then I can't stay here.
- It's always in the back
of your mind,
"Well, I could tap out."
- Putting up
with this filming [bleep]?
- Running into a predator,
it's not an if.
It's a when.
Get the hell out of here.
I see you.
Get out of here!
- I'm living
a hand-to-mouth existence.
Yes!
Ah!
- $500,000
is a lot of money.
- It's just gonna keep
getting harder.
- It's not the world
that needs to change.
It's me
that needs to change.
- [moans]
*
[water rushing]
- Ha, ha!
Go on, drop it.
[growls]
Oh, my goodness.
Okay, I'm sitting here fooling
with the camera, right?
Just dicking around
with this camera,
and a ferret runs past
with this gigantic eel
in its mouth.
And I thought,
if I scare him bad enough
maybe he'll drop the little eel.
Oh, my goodness.
The nerve to come running past
a starving man
with an eel in your mouth,
you know?
Very impolite.
Very impolite thing to do.
[mink squeaking]
Hey, I am hungry.
[soft music]
No bout adoubt it.
I am hungry.
I'm coming to the conclusion
that I have to exploit
every last resource of food
that I can in my cove,
and bull kelp, it's everywhere.
I'm gonna cook this
and see if it works
as a cooked vegetable
because I need some bulk.
Okay?
Nothing good is happening
in the GI tract here.
You know what I'm saying?
Nothing, uh...
[sniffs]
Very little movement.
Let's just say that.
Very little movement.
Nothing going in.
Nothing going out.
And I'm getting worried.
Anyway, I'm gonna get to work
cutting this stuff up
and putting it
in my little pot of water.
Letting it soak.
[dramatic music]
*
- Nothing like doing yard work
when you're on vacation, huh?
*
Vacation with no food.
[seagulls cawing]
Eff you, seagull.
*
You're on the menu next.
*
I got to be honest,
my moods have been,
like, up and down,
and all around.
I mean, my head's still
in the game.
It's just,
it's depressing to know
by what a slim margin
you hold on by.
That's, I think,
what's getting me
because I want to stay out here
for a really long time,
but the calories scare me.
If I can't get protein,
I'm not gonna be out here
for that long.
I got to start catching
some fish, man.
If I can't catch any fish,
some mice would be good.
There's a little bit
of protein there.
Over where I kind of
prepare some of my stuff,
I see some mouse droppings,
so I know there's
a mouse around.
At least one.
So I think
I'm gonna use my time today
and set up some mouse traps.
*
God, I hate mice.
Whenever you find one
there's at least one more.
So I need to take care of 'em.
Uh, at least it's a mouse
outside my shelter.
Thank God for that.
*
Just stay out of my camp.
That is so worrying to me.
*
You know, these are--
these are country mice.
These guys are smarter
than the average mouse.
*
I think that determination
and will to survive
will get you a lot further
sometimes than skill will.
*
I do have some skill,
but I think that determination
is kind of what sets me apart.
This rock keeps on wanting
to move too.
*
So this is
my first successful setting
of a Paiute deadfall.
The rock is putting pressure,
which is trying
to make this back end go up.
This back end is being held
in place
by this cordage
and this little toggle here.
This little toggle is trying
to go that direction,
but it can't got that direction
because of this stick
that's being held in the back.
Now that's my bait stick,
and this is just
a real rough setting of this.
This is my first time ever,
and I'm excited about this.
I hope this works.
Ha!
That's how light it was,
is it didn't stay.
[soft music]
*
I'm really interested to see
if this will work.
I've practiced a lot
of these trapping techniques.
*
It would be good to say that
I trapped a mouse
while I was out here--
trapped something
for crying out loud.
[dramatic music]
*
- The kayak is--is finished.
It's exciting to me.
[laughs]
Uh...
"The Delicate One" in Spanish--
"La Delicada"--
because it has thin skin.
This skin can be punctured.
One barnacle.
*
I'm gonna carry
"The Delicate One"
to the cove out there.
*
This boat was a lot of work.
Right now I could have ten sets
with fish hooks out,
and instead I'm making
a huge investment
in time and energy,
taking a huge gamble,
to fish offshore.
Which in the long run will be,
I hope,
more productive.
*
Ready to try it out.
Which is a moment I expect
with some trepidation.
I don't want to take a swim--
involuntary swim.
That kind of exposure
to possible hypothermia
worries me a lot.
*
In the end,
the ocean will decide and tell
if she's seaworthy or not.
I got it out on the cove here
where I want to try it out.
*
Getting in and out is
gonna be a--
it's gonna be
quite a challenge.
*
She is tippy.
That's for sure.
*
She's tippy like hell.
*
It's very unstable.
[grunts]
[grunting]
[dramatic music]
*
- She's tippy like hell.
*
It's very unstable.
[grunts]
*
[grunting]
[sighs]
Oh, she is tippy.
She is tippy.
Boy, I nearly--I nearly got in.
Well, it's amazing
to be out on the water,
I have to say, but, uh...
this boat makes me
pretty nervous.
[soft music]
In she goes.
Now...
here we go.
Well, that was
the, uh, maiden voyage,
so to speak.
*
Not a tragedy, but a setback.
*
She actually goes pretty well.
She wants to go places.
It's me.
I'm not sure if I want to go
places with her...
[chuckles]
Quite yet.
She is very unstable.
[laughs]
I should have built her wider.
Either I get used to her
or I can help myself out
with an outrigger.
*
[sighs]
I hope I can,
uh, figure something out
and--and go and try to find
the salmon
'cause my days here are counted
unless I found
some decent amount of grub.
[dramatic music]
*
- Me and that mouse are
going round and round.
My Paiute deadfall has sprung.
The periwinkle that I tied onto
the bait spit stick is gone.
The rock fell a certain way
to where I think
the mouse got away.
Or the thing sprung,
and then the mouse just came
and took the bait.
*
It's, like, me against him now,
and it's--now it's personal.
Damn it.
Little bastard.
I'm gonna keep working at it.
If I have this rock
about like this...
All right,
I'm semi-happy with that.
And there we have it.
I hope I crush this
little suckers head tonight.
[soft music]
*
Well, that's about it.
Good night.
*
* I'm going
to sleep good tonight *
[soft music]
[wolf howls]
*
[rock clatters]
- What the--
[chuckling softly]
Oh, my God.
*
I'm so freaking pumped right now
I'm shaking.
I finally, finally, finally
caught that effing mouse
in my Paiute deadfall.
I been screwing with this
and screwing with this
and screwing with it.
Just about ready
to go in bed,
put everything in be--
in there and I heard ka-thunk.
And I'm like, "What the hell?"
You know?
'Cause I set it
really light this time.
I came out, fricking mouse is
under the rock.
I'm like, "Oh, hell yeah,"
and I squished him hard
in the--in the rock,
boom, he fricking takes off.
Oh, I was just bummed.
Just piss-ass bummed.
So then I had my headlamp out,
and I looked
and I--and I see him
looking at me in a hole,
so I grab my freaking spear,
and I jabbed him in the ho--
in the hole,
and then I stabbed him,
and then he took off running,
and I stomped on him.
So I finally--
and then I took my knife
and cut
his little fricking throat.
*
And he's right there.
*
He went into this hole,
and I took my fricking spear
and just jabbed it in there,
and he took off running,
and I just barely
got him again with this,
and I just barely got his tail.
Oh, my God,
I caught a fricking mouse.
I am so stoked.
*
My first freaking
primitive trap kill, man.
Oh, I finally got
the little bastard.
Right on, man.
[dramatic music]
*
- I wanted
to show y'all something.
Okay.
This gigantic cedar log
was not here this morning.
And this area right here is
where I was planning
on putting up my gill net,
the new gill net.
Now I used to have it mounted
over on this side.
It used to be over here,
and I'm thinking now,
I'm gonna put it there.
If I had put it there,
look what would have
taken out my net.
There's just no way for me
to--to set that gill net
anywhere in here
that these gigantic
cedar torpedoes
won't take it out.
The only thing that's
worked for me
so far to get food
out of the cove,
other than foraging
for shellfish,
is a hook and a line.
Getting a nice roll
of cord here.
It's starting to look like
a crab line.
And that way
I can throw the bait out there
and drag 'em in, you know.
Or throw it down
and pull 'em up.
As a kid, we would fish
for crabs in New Jersey.
I would take a big heavy line,
tie a dead fish to it,
and lower it down in the water,
and crabs,
who are attracted to that,
will bite on
and latch onto that
and I could just
pull them back out.
Got him.
See that?
Here you go.
Dungeness crabs.
I love them.
They're greedy little creatures
that hang out
in the top of the kelps waiting
to drop a limpet,
and then when you drop
a limpet on 'em they grab it,
and if you don't get 'em again--
you don't get 'em
the first time,
they'll grab it again
and again and again
until you hook 'em in the body
or they just get so obstinate.
You pull 'em free of the kelp
and they just hang on
until you lift 'em
up here on the rocks.
[soft music]
See a crab down here.
I'm gonna try and get him.
*
I have a second Dungeness crab.
*
Number three!
[sniffs]
He lost a claw in the fight.
*
But the mammals won!
I have caught
four of these guys.
Oh, my goodness.
I'm just gonna keep--
[stammers]
I'm flabbergasted.
[laughs]
Number five!
* Oh, yeah,
oh, yeah *
Look at this.
Look at this.
There's one, two, three,
four, and five.
*
You ever have
one of those days...
where...
everything's going right!
Yes, that's number six, folks!
Whoo!
Ow!
[voice echoes]
Oh, this place has
an awesome echo.
That's the Dungeness crab
cry of victory.
Yes, this is number six.
There could not have been
a better day out here.
As hungry as I am,
and as dejected as I have been,
the only thing that could make
this better, seriously...
[sniffs]
Oh, my goodness,
for a Baptist to say this,
would be beer and friends.
That's it, man.
*
Look at that.
This is the most fun I've had
in--in a long time.
*
*
[fire crackling]
- Never have I been more happy
or excited about a meal
in a survival situation...
I tell you, folks,
there's painful days
out there in life.
There really is, but there's
good ones too, you know?
And you can't
lose sight of that.
Have you ever had a perfect day?
Or a perfect moment?
You remember 'em
the rest of your life.
A perfect moment is so--
is a moment you just remember
the rest of your life.
[sniffs]
I've had a few of them
in my lifetime.
Just moments
that are just perfect.
Where everything is just--
the timing, everything is
just perfect,
and this is one of 'em.
I'm telling you.
To be this hungry
and to sit down
to a meal like this.
*
The anticipation
that I get to eat these things
right now.
Suffice to say,
this is the feast
of a lifetime.
*
You see, the thing is
about catching the crabs,
that felt like a beginning.
That felt like
the start of something,
and that's the kind of thing
you need out here
to keep yourself interested,
to keep yourself enthusiastic.
*
That's the stuff that
makes me happy to be here
and gives me hope for tomorrow.
*
- You know, it's one thing
to talk about finding
a food source,
um...
plants, animals, whatever it is.
It's quite another thing
to find
a sustainable food source.
Something that
doesn't really run out
or takes a really long time
to run out,
and something like these snails,
that's huge.
There's enough of these things
to where
I'm not gonna go hungry.
You know,
as long as I can get out here
when the tide's low,
you know, you can--
can in essence
live indefinitely.
This thing's almost full.
*
I don't know if I'll be able
to eat all this or not.
*
I think that's the hallmark
of a good survival situation.
*
Sustainable food.
And fortunately,
I have these snails.
*
You get deep-fried calamari.
It tastes almost like that.
All right,
go and wash my hands.
[grunts]
Other than that,
pretty much normal day
of a whole lot of nothing.
[dramatic music]
*
- Just kind of chilling here,
waiting for the tide to go out.
[soft music]
I got to check these lines
I put in the surf.
*
What to do now for two hours.
*
Ah, let's read a book.
Oh, wait.
Let's watch some TV.
Oh, wait.
Watch a movie.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, it's sprinkling
just enough
to where I don't want my hood
to get wet.
[soft music]
*
I was out
checking all my lines.
My surf lines
caught me this today.
Now, it's mostly head,
there's not a lot of meat there,
but there's a heck of
a lot more meat here
than a limpet
or--or a periwinkle.
As I was out there,
I saw something attached
to the bull kelp.
*
Those are huge freaking crabs,
man.
They're ginormous.
Oh, my gosh,
these things are huge.
Look at that claw.
Oh, my God.
Ah.
Crabs and fish, baby.
Crabs and fish.
Whoo!
Sometimes you're lucky,
and sometimes you're good.
Sometimes it's better
to be lucky.
[laughs]
*
I walked by this
Paiute deadfall
that I made today,
and it's down,
so now I got to reset it.
My work tonight
never seems to end.
*
Oh!
Look at that.
Squished mouse, my favorite.
Just fricking squished
like a damn pancake, baby.
Yeah!
Fish and mouse
and crabs tomorrow!
Whoo!
Hell, yeah.
You didn't even get the bait,
you little bastard.
Ha!
Nice.
Shall we reset you?
Yes, we should.
Ha, ha.
Whoo!
Wow.
Hell, yeah, man.
*
I just went
to go clean the mouse, man.
I just cleaned him
and gutted him.
I got my fish right here,
and now my Paiute deadfall is
down again.
Same one.
Down.
*
Bazinga!
[chuckles]
This thing is,
like, the freaking mouse
fricking slayer, man.
This thing is--
holy schnikes.
*
Yeah, baby.
Ooh, and the bait's still there.
Yeah.
I got to go clean another mouse.
*
Holy crap, man.
*
Holy crap.
*
Better start thinking
about mouse recipes.
*
[dramatic music]
*
- Thought I had built
a good boat,
and it is a good boat,
but, uh, for what I want
to do out here,
I want to be really stable
sitting in the water
like a duck.
Just sit there and fish.
*
I want to build an outrigger.
*
An outrigger is basically
a stick,
and at the end
of the stick some floats.
Like, something that is
very buoyant.
The problem with that is that,
um, I only have one thing.
Treasure.
My freshwater can.
*
I need another
pretty buoyant thing
for the other side.
*
And I was praying for,
uh, for some help.
And, uh...
I prayed hard.
*
So I went beach combing
today...
*
And I just found this.
I hope you can see it well.
*
[sighs]
I mean...
*
I'm--I'm beyond words
with gratitude.
*
This one really got me.
[chuckles]
This one,
um, just blowing off my socks
right now.
And there's
a big length of rope
that comes with it.
[exhales]
Whew.
*
Pretty special moment
for me right now
because if the boat
floats well...
*
I could be out here
for a long time.
*
[leaves rustling]
[exhales]
Well, it's, uh...
[sniffs]
About 11:00.
I've done,
uh, pretty much everything
I've set out to do today.
I ate.
I got water.
I worked out a little bit.
[exhales]
It's really all I had to do.
[grunts]
And it's only 11:00.
[exhales]
So now what?
I don't know.
There's a huge difference
between someone that
would go out
into the middle of the woods
and just live
for the rest of their life
and the--the type
of survival training
that I'm used to.
Most of that training
revolves around
a military mindset.
So it revolves around
a 72-hour period
of getting yourself
out of dodge,
trying not to get killed,
surviving enough to get out.
[soft dramatic music]
It's not a long-term type deal.
*
In the military you're--
you're always forced
to go, go, go.
*
I'm more comfortable with that.
*
So now it just becomes
a matter of waiting.
*
Just waiting.
*
Waiting, waiting, waiting.
*
And this is when your brain
really starts
to play tricks on you.
*
'Cause you start to think,
"Well, why the hell
am I doing this?
"I'm not accomplishing
anything.
I'm not, uh..."
*
"I'm not producing anything."
*
"I'm just sitting here."
*
* Oh, say can you see
* By the dawn's early light
* What so proudly...
Everybody can't go
into the woods
for an indefinite amount
of time
and, you know,
come out on the other side,
but luckily,
I've been given
that opportunity.
* Whose broad stripes
and bright stars *
And I'm gonna take every
little bit of it that I can.
Every ounce of the healing that
this is allowing for me...
* O'er the ramparts
we watched *
* Were so gallantly
streaming *
But I feel like
I've already proved myself.
You know, I've already proved
that I know what I'm doing.
[grunting]
* The bombs bursting
in air *
My mind is practically
screaming,
"Just give up
and you can go eat
"and drink coffee
and have all these--
all these things that
you want."
* That our flag was
still there *
But you know,
like, as soon as you eat,
you're gonna be like,
"I gave up that opportunity
for this meal?"
* Yet wave
Hopefully, I will be able to,
uh, resist my brain
playing tricks on me
and convincing me to quit.
* And the home
* Of the brave
[dramatic music]
*
- I do not like pooping
in the woods.
*
And, yes, I said it.
For a survival instructor guy.
I don't like pooping
in the woods.
*
But my strategy for eating lots
of bull kelp has paid off.
*
How can I put this nicely?
*
The trains are running again.
Okay?
One left the station
this morning.
[sniffs]
Totally normal.
*
Which was surprising.
*
Yeah, I was happy about that.
*
[animals calling]
*
- I'm not sure what time it is.
I took a little bit of a nap,
but I got to get up
and do something,
at least walk around.
*
So I'm just bored to tears.
*
Days like today really
make you wonder
why the hell you're doing this.
This is not even survival
right now.
It's just being lazy.
*
I thought that
there were two things
that I needed as a person.
And being out here,
I've realized that that--
that is in fact true.
Happiness and adventure.
You know, the adventure is gone
out here.
With the adventure being gone,
then the happiness starts to--
starts to dwindle.
There's a lot that
I want to see.
You know, there's a lot that
I want to experience.
*
There's a lot of people
I want to meet.
*
There's a lot of laughing
and crying and hugging
and all sorts of other
different emotions
still to be had,
and I think when you
tie yourself down,
it makes it harder
to do those things.
*
My personal mission
on this island
has been accomplished.
*
I'm ready to get home,
get back to regular life,
and--and get on to,
uh, the next adventure.
*
Yep, here they come.
[boat engine rumbling]
Here they come.
Looks a little fuzzy,
but after 35 days,
that's a very welcome sight.
Why does everybody look like
a cat just died?
I think I need
to make some changes in my life
as far as
what I consider important.
[soft music]
And I think, uh--
I think this is
helping me see that.
You know?
*
I said something
that I've been thinking about,
probably
the first couple days here.
You know, I said,
"Surviving is just living."
*
But living
to it's fullest is something
way better.
*
It's enjoying yourself.
It's waking up in the morning
and just full of,
"Yes, I'm alive."
*
You don't have unlimited time
on this earth.
You only have one life.
Just getting by day to day,
that's not enough for me.
*
So I say enjoy yourself now.
*
And if something's keeping you
from enjoying yourself...
*
A job, significant other,
whatever it is....
*
Get rid of it.
*
I think the biggest change is
gonna be
the amount of stuff
that I have.
*
I'm gonna get
to where I can fit everything
in the backseat of my truck...
*
And then every chance I get,
I'm just gonna travel
from one adventure to the next.
*
*
Okay, I'm back at the cove.
I'm sewing on the outrigger
to the stationary board
that I put on the stern part of
the boat yesterday.
[soft music]
For floats,
it's got a can that I found.
It was my freshwater can,
and then that magnificent buoy
that I found.
It was quite literally
the answer to my prayers.
*
And it's important
for the outrigger
to stabilize my boat
because I...
*
I intend to do longer trips.
*
Over there, that valley is
obviously going to carry
a good sized river.
If there is gonna be
a salmon run
anywhere nearby within sight,
that's gonna be it.
*
So basically, I need this--
this kayak to take me to places.
*
And I need to be very sure
that it's stable.
I want to be sitting out here
in the--in the coves
just fishing.
And I'd like to just have
my fishing gear in my hand
and not have to have
the kayak paddle.
If a fish comes up,
handle it in stable watercraft.
[chuckles]
I'm having a hard time adjusting
this one camera.
Oh, there you go.
Hope she stays like that.
[dramatic music]
[grunts]
I'm paddling, let's see.
*
Okay, folks, this is it.
*
This is it.
*
This is it.
It's working fine.
I'm gonna go check my fish net.
[soft music]
*
[laughing]
Hey.
*
Whoo-hoo!
*
Now we're talking.
*
[dramatic music]
- After awhile,
there's just not
very many redeeming qualities
about this place.
How many more days, man?
How many more days of this?
- Ah, man.
Seals got into my net.
Ate everything.
This is all that's left.
- [sighs]
She leaks.
There's water in here.
*
- Oh, I just went in
up to my waist.
If I get hypothermia it's over.
*
*
- This move is
a complete game changer
so long as I can find food
from the ocean,
but if I don't catch a fish
on those lines,
I don't know
what's gonna happen.
- We've got a 600-pound log
that floated in
over my gill net.
I have to get this cove
figured out.
- I need to finish the boat.
I'm so pressed for time
wondering if those salmon are
running yet.
- I've thought, "Maybe after
I get down climbing a mountain,
then I'll just hang it up."
Yeah!
And right now, that's
the last thing on my mind.
I feel recharged,
and I feel like
I can take on the world.
- Who are you when everything's
been stripped away?
[bleep].
- [yelping]
- It's scary out here
in these woods.
- I have not had
a serious meal in a week.
- If I can't get a fire,
then I can't stay here.
- It's always in the back
of your mind,
"Well, I could tap out."
- Putting up
with this filming [bleep]?
- Running into a predator,
it's not an if.
It's a when.
Get the hell out of here.
I see you.
Get out of here!
- I'm living
a hand-to-mouth existence.
Yes!
Ah!
- $500,000
is a lot of money.
- It's just gonna keep
getting harder.
- It's not the world
that needs to change.
It's me
that needs to change.
- [moans]
*
[water rushing]
- Ha, ha!
Go on, drop it.
[growls]
Oh, my goodness.
Okay, I'm sitting here fooling
with the camera, right?
Just dicking around
with this camera,
and a ferret runs past
with this gigantic eel
in its mouth.
And I thought,
if I scare him bad enough
maybe he'll drop the little eel.
Oh, my goodness.
The nerve to come running past
a starving man
with an eel in your mouth,
you know?
Very impolite.
Very impolite thing to do.
[mink squeaking]
Hey, I am hungry.
[soft music]
No bout adoubt it.
I am hungry.
I'm coming to the conclusion
that I have to exploit
every last resource of food
that I can in my cove,
and bull kelp, it's everywhere.
I'm gonna cook this
and see if it works
as a cooked vegetable
because I need some bulk.
Okay?
Nothing good is happening
in the GI tract here.
You know what I'm saying?
Nothing, uh...
[sniffs]
Very little movement.
Let's just say that.
Very little movement.
Nothing going in.
Nothing going out.
And I'm getting worried.
Anyway, I'm gonna get to work
cutting this stuff up
and putting it
in my little pot of water.
Letting it soak.
[dramatic music]
*
- Nothing like doing yard work
when you're on vacation, huh?
*
Vacation with no food.
[seagulls cawing]
Eff you, seagull.
*
You're on the menu next.
*
I got to be honest,
my moods have been,
like, up and down,
and all around.
I mean, my head's still
in the game.
It's just,
it's depressing to know
by what a slim margin
you hold on by.
That's, I think,
what's getting me
because I want to stay out here
for a really long time,
but the calories scare me.
If I can't get protein,
I'm not gonna be out here
for that long.
I got to start catching
some fish, man.
If I can't catch any fish,
some mice would be good.
There's a little bit
of protein there.
Over where I kind of
prepare some of my stuff,
I see some mouse droppings,
so I know there's
a mouse around.
At least one.
So I think
I'm gonna use my time today
and set up some mouse traps.
*
God, I hate mice.
Whenever you find one
there's at least one more.
So I need to take care of 'em.
Uh, at least it's a mouse
outside my shelter.
Thank God for that.
*
Just stay out of my camp.
That is so worrying to me.
*
You know, these are--
these are country mice.
These guys are smarter
than the average mouse.
*
I think that determination
and will to survive
will get you a lot further
sometimes than skill will.
*
I do have some skill,
but I think that determination
is kind of what sets me apart.
This rock keeps on wanting
to move too.
*
So this is
my first successful setting
of a Paiute deadfall.
The rock is putting pressure,
which is trying
to make this back end go up.
This back end is being held
in place
by this cordage
and this little toggle here.
This little toggle is trying
to go that direction,
but it can't got that direction
because of this stick
that's being held in the back.
Now that's my bait stick,
and this is just
a real rough setting of this.
This is my first time ever,
and I'm excited about this.
I hope this works.
Ha!
That's how light it was,
is it didn't stay.
[soft music]
*
I'm really interested to see
if this will work.
I've practiced a lot
of these trapping techniques.
*
It would be good to say that
I trapped a mouse
while I was out here--
trapped something
for crying out loud.
[dramatic music]
*
- The kayak is--is finished.
It's exciting to me.
[laughs]
Uh...
"The Delicate One" in Spanish--
"La Delicada"--
because it has thin skin.
This skin can be punctured.
One barnacle.
*
I'm gonna carry
"The Delicate One"
to the cove out there.
*
This boat was a lot of work.
Right now I could have ten sets
with fish hooks out,
and instead I'm making
a huge investment
in time and energy,
taking a huge gamble,
to fish offshore.
Which in the long run will be,
I hope,
more productive.
*
Ready to try it out.
Which is a moment I expect
with some trepidation.
I don't want to take a swim--
involuntary swim.
That kind of exposure
to possible hypothermia
worries me a lot.
*
In the end,
the ocean will decide and tell
if she's seaworthy or not.
I got it out on the cove here
where I want to try it out.
*
Getting in and out is
gonna be a--
it's gonna be
quite a challenge.
*
She is tippy.
That's for sure.
*
She's tippy like hell.
*
It's very unstable.
[grunts]
[grunting]
[dramatic music]
*
- She's tippy like hell.
*
It's very unstable.
[grunts]
*
[grunting]
[sighs]
Oh, she is tippy.
She is tippy.
Boy, I nearly--I nearly got in.
Well, it's amazing
to be out on the water,
I have to say, but, uh...
this boat makes me
pretty nervous.
[soft music]
In she goes.
Now...
here we go.
Well, that was
the, uh, maiden voyage,
so to speak.
*
Not a tragedy, but a setback.
*
She actually goes pretty well.
She wants to go places.
It's me.
I'm not sure if I want to go
places with her...
[chuckles]
Quite yet.
She is very unstable.
[laughs]
I should have built her wider.
Either I get used to her
or I can help myself out
with an outrigger.
*
[sighs]
I hope I can,
uh, figure something out
and--and go and try to find
the salmon
'cause my days here are counted
unless I found
some decent amount of grub.
[dramatic music]
*
- Me and that mouse are
going round and round.
My Paiute deadfall has sprung.
The periwinkle that I tied onto
the bait spit stick is gone.
The rock fell a certain way
to where I think
the mouse got away.
Or the thing sprung,
and then the mouse just came
and took the bait.
*
It's, like, me against him now,
and it's--now it's personal.
Damn it.
Little bastard.
I'm gonna keep working at it.
If I have this rock
about like this...
All right,
I'm semi-happy with that.
And there we have it.
I hope I crush this
little suckers head tonight.
[soft music]
*
Well, that's about it.
Good night.
*
* I'm going
to sleep good tonight *
[soft music]
[wolf howls]
*
[rock clatters]
- What the--
[chuckling softly]
Oh, my God.
*
I'm so freaking pumped right now
I'm shaking.
I finally, finally, finally
caught that effing mouse
in my Paiute deadfall.
I been screwing with this
and screwing with this
and screwing with it.
Just about ready
to go in bed,
put everything in be--
in there and I heard ka-thunk.
And I'm like, "What the hell?"
You know?
'Cause I set it
really light this time.
I came out, fricking mouse is
under the rock.
I'm like, "Oh, hell yeah,"
and I squished him hard
in the--in the rock,
boom, he fricking takes off.
Oh, I was just bummed.
Just piss-ass bummed.
So then I had my headlamp out,
and I looked
and I--and I see him
looking at me in a hole,
so I grab my freaking spear,
and I jabbed him in the ho--
in the hole,
and then I stabbed him,
and then he took off running,
and I stomped on him.
So I finally--
and then I took my knife
and cut
his little fricking throat.
*
And he's right there.
*
He went into this hole,
and I took my fricking spear
and just jabbed it in there,
and he took off running,
and I just barely
got him again with this,
and I just barely got his tail.
Oh, my God,
I caught a fricking mouse.
I am so stoked.
*
My first freaking
primitive trap kill, man.
Oh, I finally got
the little bastard.
Right on, man.
[dramatic music]
*
- I wanted
to show y'all something.
Okay.
This gigantic cedar log
was not here this morning.
And this area right here is
where I was planning
on putting up my gill net,
the new gill net.
Now I used to have it mounted
over on this side.
It used to be over here,
and I'm thinking now,
I'm gonna put it there.
If I had put it there,
look what would have
taken out my net.
There's just no way for me
to--to set that gill net
anywhere in here
that these gigantic
cedar torpedoes
won't take it out.
The only thing that's
worked for me
so far to get food
out of the cove,
other than foraging
for shellfish,
is a hook and a line.
Getting a nice roll
of cord here.
It's starting to look like
a crab line.
And that way
I can throw the bait out there
and drag 'em in, you know.
Or throw it down
and pull 'em up.
As a kid, we would fish
for crabs in New Jersey.
I would take a big heavy line,
tie a dead fish to it,
and lower it down in the water,
and crabs,
who are attracted to that,
will bite on
and latch onto that
and I could just
pull them back out.
Got him.
See that?
Here you go.
Dungeness crabs.
I love them.
They're greedy little creatures
that hang out
in the top of the kelps waiting
to drop a limpet,
and then when you drop
a limpet on 'em they grab it,
and if you don't get 'em again--
you don't get 'em
the first time,
they'll grab it again
and again and again
until you hook 'em in the body
or they just get so obstinate.
You pull 'em free of the kelp
and they just hang on
until you lift 'em
up here on the rocks.
[soft music]
See a crab down here.
I'm gonna try and get him.
*
I have a second Dungeness crab.
*
Number three!
[sniffs]
He lost a claw in the fight.
*
But the mammals won!
I have caught
four of these guys.
Oh, my goodness.
I'm just gonna keep--
[stammers]
I'm flabbergasted.
[laughs]
Number five!
* Oh, yeah,
oh, yeah *
Look at this.
Look at this.
There's one, two, three,
four, and five.
*
You ever have
one of those days...
where...
everything's going right!
Yes, that's number six, folks!
Whoo!
Ow!
[voice echoes]
Oh, this place has
an awesome echo.
That's the Dungeness crab
cry of victory.
Yes, this is number six.
There could not have been
a better day out here.
As hungry as I am,
and as dejected as I have been,
the only thing that could make
this better, seriously...
[sniffs]
Oh, my goodness,
for a Baptist to say this,
would be beer and friends.
That's it, man.
*
Look at that.
This is the most fun I've had
in--in a long time.
*
*
[fire crackling]
- Never have I been more happy
or excited about a meal
in a survival situation...
I tell you, folks,
there's painful days
out there in life.
There really is, but there's
good ones too, you know?
And you can't
lose sight of that.
Have you ever had a perfect day?
Or a perfect moment?
You remember 'em
the rest of your life.
A perfect moment is so--
is a moment you just remember
the rest of your life.
[sniffs]
I've had a few of them
in my lifetime.
Just moments
that are just perfect.
Where everything is just--
the timing, everything is
just perfect,
and this is one of 'em.
I'm telling you.
To be this hungry
and to sit down
to a meal like this.
*
The anticipation
that I get to eat these things
right now.
Suffice to say,
this is the feast
of a lifetime.
*
You see, the thing is
about catching the crabs,
that felt like a beginning.
That felt like
the start of something,
and that's the kind of thing
you need out here
to keep yourself interested,
to keep yourself enthusiastic.
*
That's the stuff that
makes me happy to be here
and gives me hope for tomorrow.
*
- You know, it's one thing
to talk about finding
a food source,
um...
plants, animals, whatever it is.
It's quite another thing
to find
a sustainable food source.
Something that
doesn't really run out
or takes a really long time
to run out,
and something like these snails,
that's huge.
There's enough of these things
to where
I'm not gonna go hungry.
You know,
as long as I can get out here
when the tide's low,
you know, you can--
can in essence
live indefinitely.
This thing's almost full.
*
I don't know if I'll be able
to eat all this or not.
*
I think that's the hallmark
of a good survival situation.
*
Sustainable food.
And fortunately,
I have these snails.
*
You get deep-fried calamari.
It tastes almost like that.
All right,
go and wash my hands.
[grunts]
Other than that,
pretty much normal day
of a whole lot of nothing.
[dramatic music]
*
- Just kind of chilling here,
waiting for the tide to go out.
[soft music]
I got to check these lines
I put in the surf.
*
What to do now for two hours.
*
Ah, let's read a book.
Oh, wait.
Let's watch some TV.
Oh, wait.
Watch a movie.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, it's sprinkling
just enough
to where I don't want my hood
to get wet.
[soft music]
*
I was out
checking all my lines.
My surf lines
caught me this today.
Now, it's mostly head,
there's not a lot of meat there,
but there's a heck of
a lot more meat here
than a limpet
or--or a periwinkle.
As I was out there,
I saw something attached
to the bull kelp.
*
Those are huge freaking crabs,
man.
They're ginormous.
Oh, my gosh,
these things are huge.
Look at that claw.
Oh, my God.
Ah.
Crabs and fish, baby.
Crabs and fish.
Whoo!
Sometimes you're lucky,
and sometimes you're good.
Sometimes it's better
to be lucky.
[laughs]
*
I walked by this
Paiute deadfall
that I made today,
and it's down,
so now I got to reset it.
My work tonight
never seems to end.
*
Oh!
Look at that.
Squished mouse, my favorite.
Just fricking squished
like a damn pancake, baby.
Yeah!
Fish and mouse
and crabs tomorrow!
Whoo!
Hell, yeah.
You didn't even get the bait,
you little bastard.
Ha!
Nice.
Shall we reset you?
Yes, we should.
Ha, ha.
Whoo!
Wow.
Hell, yeah, man.
*
I just went
to go clean the mouse, man.
I just cleaned him
and gutted him.
I got my fish right here,
and now my Paiute deadfall is
down again.
Same one.
Down.
*
Bazinga!
[chuckles]
This thing is,
like, the freaking mouse
fricking slayer, man.
This thing is--
holy schnikes.
*
Yeah, baby.
Ooh, and the bait's still there.
Yeah.
I got to go clean another mouse.
*
Holy crap, man.
*
Holy crap.
*
Better start thinking
about mouse recipes.
*
[dramatic music]
*
- Thought I had built
a good boat,
and it is a good boat,
but, uh, for what I want
to do out here,
I want to be really stable
sitting in the water
like a duck.
Just sit there and fish.
*
I want to build an outrigger.
*
An outrigger is basically
a stick,
and at the end
of the stick some floats.
Like, something that is
very buoyant.
The problem with that is that,
um, I only have one thing.
Treasure.
My freshwater can.
*
I need another
pretty buoyant thing
for the other side.
*
And I was praying for,
uh, for some help.
And, uh...
I prayed hard.
*
So I went beach combing
today...
*
And I just found this.
I hope you can see it well.
*
[sighs]
I mean...
*
I'm--I'm beyond words
with gratitude.
*
This one really got me.
[chuckles]
This one,
um, just blowing off my socks
right now.
And there's
a big length of rope
that comes with it.
[exhales]
Whew.
*
Pretty special moment
for me right now
because if the boat
floats well...
*
I could be out here
for a long time.
*
[leaves rustling]
[exhales]
Well, it's, uh...
[sniffs]
About 11:00.
I've done,
uh, pretty much everything
I've set out to do today.
I ate.
I got water.
I worked out a little bit.
[exhales]
It's really all I had to do.
[grunts]
And it's only 11:00.
[exhales]
So now what?
I don't know.
There's a huge difference
between someone that
would go out
into the middle of the woods
and just live
for the rest of their life
and the--the type
of survival training
that I'm used to.
Most of that training
revolves around
a military mindset.
So it revolves around
a 72-hour period
of getting yourself
out of dodge,
trying not to get killed,
surviving enough to get out.
[soft dramatic music]
It's not a long-term type deal.
*
In the military you're--
you're always forced
to go, go, go.
*
I'm more comfortable with that.
*
So now it just becomes
a matter of waiting.
*
Just waiting.
*
Waiting, waiting, waiting.
*
And this is when your brain
really starts
to play tricks on you.
*
'Cause you start to think,
"Well, why the hell
am I doing this?
"I'm not accomplishing
anything.
I'm not, uh..."
*
"I'm not producing anything."
*
"I'm just sitting here."
*
* Oh, say can you see
* By the dawn's early light
* What so proudly...
Everybody can't go
into the woods
for an indefinite amount
of time
and, you know,
come out on the other side,
but luckily,
I've been given
that opportunity.
* Whose broad stripes
and bright stars *
And I'm gonna take every
little bit of it that I can.
Every ounce of the healing that
this is allowing for me...
* O'er the ramparts
we watched *
* Were so gallantly
streaming *
But I feel like
I've already proved myself.
You know, I've already proved
that I know what I'm doing.
[grunting]
* The bombs bursting
in air *
My mind is practically
screaming,
"Just give up
and you can go eat
"and drink coffee
and have all these--
all these things that
you want."
* That our flag was
still there *
But you know,
like, as soon as you eat,
you're gonna be like,
"I gave up that opportunity
for this meal?"
* Yet wave
Hopefully, I will be able to,
uh, resist my brain
playing tricks on me
and convincing me to quit.
* And the home
* Of the brave
[dramatic music]
*
- I do not like pooping
in the woods.
*
And, yes, I said it.
For a survival instructor guy.
I don't like pooping
in the woods.
*
But my strategy for eating lots
of bull kelp has paid off.
*
How can I put this nicely?
*
The trains are running again.
Okay?
One left the station
this morning.
[sniffs]
Totally normal.
*
Which was surprising.
*
Yeah, I was happy about that.
*
[animals calling]
*
- I'm not sure what time it is.
I took a little bit of a nap,
but I got to get up
and do something,
at least walk around.
*
So I'm just bored to tears.
*
Days like today really
make you wonder
why the hell you're doing this.
This is not even survival
right now.
It's just being lazy.
*
I thought that
there were two things
that I needed as a person.
And being out here,
I've realized that that--
that is in fact true.
Happiness and adventure.
You know, the adventure is gone
out here.
With the adventure being gone,
then the happiness starts to--
starts to dwindle.
There's a lot that
I want to see.
You know, there's a lot that
I want to experience.
*
There's a lot of people
I want to meet.
*
There's a lot of laughing
and crying and hugging
and all sorts of other
different emotions
still to be had,
and I think when you
tie yourself down,
it makes it harder
to do those things.
*
My personal mission
on this island
has been accomplished.
*
I'm ready to get home,
get back to regular life,
and--and get on to,
uh, the next adventure.
*
Yep, here they come.
[boat engine rumbling]
Here they come.
Looks a little fuzzy,
but after 35 days,
that's a very welcome sight.
Why does everybody look like
a cat just died?
I think I need
to make some changes in my life
as far as
what I consider important.
[soft music]
And I think, uh--
I think this is
helping me see that.
You know?
*
I said something
that I've been thinking about,
probably
the first couple days here.
You know, I said,
"Surviving is just living."
*
But living
to it's fullest is something
way better.
*
It's enjoying yourself.
It's waking up in the morning
and just full of,
"Yes, I'm alive."
*
You don't have unlimited time
on this earth.
You only have one life.
Just getting by day to day,
that's not enough for me.
*
So I say enjoy yourself now.
*
And if something's keeping you
from enjoying yourself...
*
A job, significant other,
whatever it is....
*
Get rid of it.
*
I think the biggest change is
gonna be
the amount of stuff
that I have.
*
I'm gonna get
to where I can fit everything
in the backseat of my truck...
*
And then every chance I get,
I'm just gonna travel
from one adventure to the next.
*
*
Okay, I'm back at the cove.
I'm sewing on the outrigger
to the stationary board
that I put on the stern part of
the boat yesterday.
[soft music]
For floats,
it's got a can that I found.
It was my freshwater can,
and then that magnificent buoy
that I found.
It was quite literally
the answer to my prayers.
*
And it's important
for the outrigger
to stabilize my boat
because I...
*
I intend to do longer trips.
*
Over there, that valley is
obviously going to carry
a good sized river.
If there is gonna be
a salmon run
anywhere nearby within sight,
that's gonna be it.
*
So basically, I need this--
this kayak to take me to places.
*
And I need to be very sure
that it's stable.
I want to be sitting out here
in the--in the coves
just fishing.
And I'd like to just have
my fishing gear in my hand
and not have to have
the kayak paddle.
If a fish comes up,
handle it in stable watercraft.
[chuckles]
I'm having a hard time adjusting
this one camera.
Oh, there you go.
Hope she stays like that.
[dramatic music]
[grunts]
I'm paddling, let's see.
*
Okay, folks, this is it.
*
This is it.
*
This is it.
It's working fine.
I'm gonna go check my fish net.
[soft music]
*
[laughing]
Hey.
*
Whoo-hoo!
*
Now we're talking.
*
[dramatic music]
- After awhile,
there's just not
very many redeeming qualities
about this place.
How many more days, man?
How many more days of this?
- Ah, man.
Seals got into my net.
Ate everything.
This is all that's left.
- [sighs]
She leaks.
There's water in here.
*
- Oh, I just went in
up to my waist.
If I get hypothermia it's over.
*