All Hail King Julien: Exiled (2017): Season 1, Episode 4 - Bridge on the River Mort - full transcript

𝒯𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓈𝓁𝒶𝓉e 𝓊𝓃𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓉 E𝒩𝒢LI𝒮H

I'm okay!

Whoa, you got to hear this.

Numero four.

We will always remember you.

Bygones are bygones!
Whatever that means.

I think it's time, Your Majesty.

You're right, Mo-Mo.

It's time for us to head back,

take down Koto, and sha-rockit!

Reclaim my throne, baby.



Um, logic police here.

Got the place surrounded.

King J, we're just four lemurs,
and Koto has an entire army!

How are we gonna take
your kingdom back?

We don't need no stinkin' logic,
Ted, 'cause we got the sea.

The sea will grant
each man a new hope.

And with that hope, an
army of our very own.

Right. Uh, our own army. Right.

- Uh, but, like, how?
- What's with the third degree?

We're on a submarine.
I'll figure it out.

What? Wait, where are we?

Jarsh-Jarsh.

Your morning mouth toss
is strong today, Sensei.

Hey! It got on my cheek.
Let me off!



Where we goin' anyway?

We are going where the
curds of the mother

create the fragile bond
between child and goat.

Oh, yeah, there.

Just in time. The
dark one is fleeing.

Jarsh-Jarsh. Jarsh-Jarsh.
Jarsh-Jarsh.

Um, guys?

What is starin' at the sun
gonna do, eh? Nothing.

Absolutely nothing. I've failed
myself, failed my king... Hey!

Hush.

Failing is not failure,

but giving up is.

Now, look into the
eyes of the sun

and see the truth.

On it.

It was awful. I was
being chased by...

Me. I was so angry,
and full of rage...

Well, I'm just, I'm
destroying myself.

Jarsh-Jarsh, you're a genius!

Good, Clover.

Admission of your rage, the next
step on your hero's journey.

You are now ready for
the ultimate weapon.

Yes!

Grab as many tools as you can.

Every prisoner needs something

to help us dig an escape tunnel!

Did you hear something, Mort?

It wasn't me.

I had oysters.

No!

Not sorry.

Hi.

Caught this one sneaking around
a garden shed, Your Majesty.

My jester. My entertainer!

- Can we kick him, King Koto?
- No, Benson. Not yet.

Mort, what were you in
doing in the garden shed?

Um... Well, it's a surprise?

- Tell me.
- Uh.

Was this surprise
for my birthday?

Uh, yeah.

Well, that is just great!

How did you know my big
day was coming up?

What do you got planned? Wait,
wait, wait, don't tell me.

Don't tell me, let me guess.
Since you're my jester,

you were gonna put on
some kind of performance?

Right. A play.

Ooh.

Guards, guards, grant
Mort and the interns

full access to the garden shed,

so that they may put
on a play for us.

Yes, a play.

Why are you giggling
evilly, Mort?

Mort, you are a genius!

I am?

Sure-McClure! This play is the

perfect distraction
for our escape.

It is?

While Mort writes and
directs the play,

the rest of us...

dig.

All systems go, Your Majesty.

You know, we've been through
a lot of things together.

Some really bad
stuff has happened.

But it feels pretty great
knowing that nothing,

and I mean no-thing,

could ever go wrong down
here in this submarine.

Pancho! Is red
flashy lights good?

Uh, there's some
kind of malfunction.

Well, un-malfunctionize
it, Pancho!

I don't know how!

I can't. I-I can't...

Jarsh-Jarsh.

Oh, can't wait to
see what it is.

Give me. Give me,
give me, give me!

You now hold the key to
the ultimate weapon.

It's a... Mirror?

Are you kidding me, Jarsh-Jarsh?

It's in the mirror, Clover.

Writing, writing, writing...

Scribbly, scribble,
scribble, scribble...

Little man knows how
to put a pen to paper.

- Morning.
- Hey, Mort?

- Did you finish?
- Give us the pitch, Billy Shakespeare.

Okay, I'll paint you
the broad strokes.

It's a Musical-Space-Odyssey-Epic
Wartime-Drama.

Say what-in the wha-wha, how?
What?

Hold on! I'm just gettin'
to the good part.

Okay, okay. Picture this.

Planet Kreptal
Nine is in danger.

And only one man can save it...

Bort Bortnoy! But first,

Bort must rescue his one true
love from the evil grasps

of the giant lizard
tadpole, Urepses Johanson!

Yeah, I can see where
this is goin'.

Proceed.

That cannot be a good sound.

Hey, what's that noise?
It's not time!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I think the worst is over.

The worst is not over! Repeat.
The worst is not over!

Okay, Bort. Whenever
you're ready.

Question, do I have to
play the main character?

'Cause I've never performed
publicly before.

It's okay, friend.
You're gonna shine.

Um, but isn't the
point of the play

to create a distraction

while we dig a tunnel
to escape prison?

Does it have to be
so complicated?

Leave the story to me, babe!
I'm the director!

Somebody give him a read in.

I closed up the last valve,
but we are dead in the water.

We're trapped in a submarine
at the bottom of the ocean.

We're gonna run out of air soon.

Really, is that how it works?
We're gonna run out...

I know how air works, Maurice!

When we breathe in air, our
bodies consume its oxygen

and convert it to carbon dioxide.
For example...

Right. We could
get the emergency

oxygen tanks and the
underwater gear

from the bow of the sub
and swim to the surface?

Yes. Yes.

That's the kind of plan I'm
talking about. Booyah.

Except for the bow of the
sub is entirely underwater.

And it's bound to fill
up the main room soon.

There's got to be some mistake.

I specifically ordered a
submarine not filled with water.

- You didn't order this sub.
- I know!

That's what I'm saying,
I ordered a dry one.

Maybe if we stare at it longer

it will speak to us in
its own mirror language.

Yeah. Gonna go ahead and
just say no on that one.

Wait a minute.

Ah! This isn't one of those things
where I am the weap... Is it?

Like I am the lemur
in the mirror?

And I have to find the power within...
Is that it, Sage?

No. The Jarsh-Jarsh
is a lot of things.

A charlatan, a false prophet,

an uncomfortable hugger,
but he is not a cliche.

Um, anybody else hear that?

Probably just a little of that

mean old turbulence again?
Right?

We're at the bottom of the
ocean not in the airplane!

Yikes, somebody slept
through the cart service.

Somebody's out there!

Ha-ha! It's the rescue team.
We're saved!

See, told you Maurice.
Nothing to worry about.

Oh, hooray. We're gonna be okay.

No! King Julien, wait!

Okay, uh, new rule,

if someone knocks at the door,

ask who it is first!

Tunnel's done, man,

but the Mountain Lemurs are
sniffin' around out there.

We gotta move fast.

I say we are out
of here tonight.

Yeah, what are we waiting for?

Let's put this stinkin'
play on so we can escape!

We can't. Our dang
idiot director's

on his third
re-write of the day.

Play's not ready.

Sounds like Willie Wordsworth
got writer's block...

forgot the plan and everything

how to write and what not, yeah.

You're finished, Mort.
It's a disaster.

It's your first play. You've
only written novels before this.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

The world is waiting
for this play.

The people need to
hear your words.

This'll be the biggest,
most important thing

the universe has
ever laid eyes on!

That's it. I've got it.

- Mort!
- What is it? I am writing.

Er, the tunnel, it's ready.

What tunnel? We have
a play to put on.

History is ready to write
us into its record books.

We are gonna shake the planet!

Madness. Utter madness.

Okay, new plan. We're gonna
open up the back hatch...

like I did earlier when
Maurice made me do it.

I've been doing some math.

I figure if we trade
off breathing

into each other's mouth faces...

we can swim to the surface, no problem.
There's four of us...

Um, King J? Hate to interrupt...

but Pancho just got dragged

under water by that
nasty shark you let in.

Places, everyone.

Romeo.

I love the theater.

Father used to take
us every Friday

to watch as the
neighboring hippos

would maul their prey.
True spectacle.

Quiet, you leeks!
Show's about to start.

It was just supposed to be a
regular space expedition.

But in the end, they
took everything!

This is already one
of the best things

I've seen in my entire life.

I'm not sure how much
time we have left, guys.

I feel like an apology is in order
for the shark eating Pancho.

I don't know what you think.
Maurice, go ahead.

What?

Now, hold on, gosh dang it. We've
seen how bad things can get.

Well, you bet your tushes, they
can get a whole lot worse.

So I say, we are not
gonna fight anymore.

We're gonna pull together.

And we're gonna find a
way to get out of here.

First...

- Come on, man!
- Are you kidding me, sky Gods?

I have had it. I cannot
take it anymore.

I am going back to the kingdom,
and fighting Koto on my own.

- But...
- You can't stop me, Sage.

It may be a suicide mission, but
at least I will take Koto down.

Clover, if you must go,
please take the mirror.

I'm not taking the ridiculous mirror, Sage.
Here, it's yours.

No, it's yours.

- No, Sage.
- It was a gift. For you.

Well, I am re-gifting it to you.

I'm sorry. I've never been
one to accept re-gifts.

Tacky. Not my thing.

Listen here, you,

I am not having this.

- Take the mirror with you.
- Take it, Sage.

It's in the mirror, Clover.

Will you just get
out of my head!

In the mirror.

No. Jarsh-Jarsh!

I have had it!

It's a map!

It was inside the
mirror the whole time.

I told you, Clover, it was

in the mirror.

Yeah, heard ya, Jarsh-Jarsh.

Follow the map to the
ultimate weapon.

Thanks for the tip.

Could have used it, ya know,
like, a few hours ago!

All right, Sage. Let's do this.

Do you see the
shark, King Julien?

Gotta be down there somewhere.
It's gonna get us.

Mo-Mo, don't worry
about the shark.

There's only enough oxygen
left in here for one of us.

- Then I'm just happy
we're togeth...

- I said there's only enough air

for one of us. Start holding
your breath, Maurice.

It's mine. My air.

Oxygen tanks.

Thank you, sky gods.

Mo-Mo, we're gonna make it.
I can breathe.

Can you hear me? This
is Captain Xenon...

underwater breather.
Do you copy?

Yeah, I copy. Under water
breather, yeah, he...

Okay.

Ooh, look, Mo-Mo!
Look at the colors.

Your Majesty, swim!

I don't speak Shark but if
I could, I'd tell you that

Maurice's arms, they have
much more gratifying

natural seasoning than mine.

He'd make great sliders.

My name is Ned.

Whoa. I can hear you.

Of course you can. We can
only speak underwater.

Oh, that's cool. Wait,

why didn't you say
something earlier, dude?

Your Majesty, you made it.

These nice sharks
gave us oxygen tanks.

What a bunch of
sweethearts, huh?

King Julien, we don't
wanna hurt you.

We need your help.

I know you miss
your son, Bort...

but his mission was bigger

than our home planet,
Griegelfleetzes.

That asteroid is headed
straight for us.

Soon.

But I've got an asteroid
sized hole in my heart...

without him by our side.

Bort.

Uncle Jifransen, Aunty
Toefoot, it's Urepses.

He's back!

True teatro de la corazon!

We could all learn
from that Bort.

Encore! Bravo!

Encore! Bring out the director.

- Mort!
- You shook the planet, Mort.

You really shook it.

Well, come on, we
gotta get to work.

Mort, Mort...

King Julien needs us.

Yeah.

Mort...

What have I done?

He'll be out any second.

What? Open the curtain!

Mort!

Onward! To freedom!
For my King Julien!