All Hail King Julien: Exiled (2017): Season 1, Episode 11 - Out of the Foosa Pen and into the Fire - full transcript

𝒯𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓈𝓁𝒶𝓉e 𝓊𝓃𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓉 E𝒩𝒢LI𝒮H

I'm okay!

Whaddup? Here we go!

Sacre bleu! Where is
the garlic butter?

Chapter Elva.

Let the wedding games... begin.

Well, lordy be, this here
is one elegant soiree.

Yo, Sugarbottoms,
what's it look like?

It is B-A-D nasty out here.

Ted, Karl here.

Do you have eyes on the
crocodile princess?



Yeah. And I can
tell she's in love.

Oh, gosh, that's nice to see.

Sugarbottoms, stick
to the plan, buddy.

Remember what we talked about.

First, we kidnap the princess
to stall the wedding

and prevent Koto from forming

an unbeatable alliance
with the croc kingdom.

Then we trick Koto into
a secret rendezvous

in a place loaded with
tons of dynamite and...

In all the confusion
after the explosion,

we'll rally the
imprisoned interns

to overthrow rest of
the mountain lemurs.

And everyone celebrates

'cause their KJ has
got his crown again.



And then we can go back to
simpler standalone stories.

We're running out of time. We
need a plan to get out of here.

Two words: Out of
body experience.

Huh?

Through deep meditation, I
separate soul and flesh.

Then my aura slips through
the bars and grabs the key.

It's almost too simple.

Fine. You try that and I'll
try literally anything else!

That should do it.

I don't understand,
that should've done it.

I even said...
That should do it.

That's how confident I was.

You know who's not stuck
in another dimension now?

Judy Rosenthal.

Yeah, her son's an optometrist.

I could really use
Smart Mort right now.

He's gotta be somewhere
in that brain.

He won't come out
without coffee.

Uh, does coffee exist
in this multiverse?

- He says he wants coffee.
- What's coffee?

- I don't have coffee.
- Coffee sounds good.

- You want some coffee?
- If we go to a coffee place,

we can find some coffee to buy.

- Coffee.
- Of course we have coffee.

Woohoo! We're saved!

- You're okay with decaf, right?
- Ow!

Sorry, that one got
out ahead of me.

Oh, no! Is my little
scientist stumped?

Yeah, a little. How do we
caffeinate Mort in a multiverse

- with no caffeine?
- That's the million dollar question.

You should've
thought about that.

Before you threw your whole
life with the science mishigas.

I made it very clear. If I had
gone to accounting school

like you wanted, it
would've crushed my soul.

Is that why you can't
pick up a phone?

You think you're the only one
getting their soul crushed?

- The nerve on you.
- Soul? S-Soul? Soul! Wait!

Soul! Mort's been
absorbing souls

from Mort in the
alternate universes.

You say that like
it's perfectly normal

and not totally freaking insane!

Eh... Yeah, Smart Mort still
has to be in there somewhere.

In Mort's subconscious.

We just have to send
Mort deep inside

his own mind to pull
Smart Mort out.

Oy vey!

Yeah, that's a big oy vey
from me too, Mom-Bot.

Okay, Ted, you're with
me on kidnapping duty.

Karl, you're rallying the
troops and rigging Koto's trap.

Uncle, you're keeping
up with the charade

that you're a
world-class foosa...

What are you
exactly, a salesman,

a trainer, out of work clown?

I don't want to jinx it,

but this plan is gonna
go gangbusters.

We take out Koto, then I
take out my stupid nephew.

And then I'm back on top, baby!

Yeah, that'll play.

You can't fire me!
I'm firing myself!

Fine. I don't need a
wedding coordinator...

You're hecka tacky anyway.

Mm-hmm.

Oh!

This is our opening. Ol' Teddy
swoops in to save the day

as the new wedding coordinator.

And while the croc
princess is distracted

by all the fabric swatches,

surprise, girl, you
just got kidnapped.

Ted, uh, do you know anything
about wedding coordinating?

Nothing at all, sir.

Hmm?

Audible gasp. This is a
DEFCON 1 diva disaster.

Now here's what you
need to know about me.

I talk fast, I think fast,

and I'm not here
to make friends.

Oh, wait, what's wrong?

This is literally the worst day
in the history of the universe.

All these jealous heirs
keep throwing mad shade.

It's like, they don't even
know the real me, okay?

They think 'cause
I'm super pretty,

I must be dumb.

Oh, heck, sweety. Mad attack!

Okay, be cool.

We're going on a little
field trip to...

Hey! Wait!

- I'm literally being abducted.
- I think you broke that.

Hold still, you
little wiggle worm.

When my daddy and my
boo Koto find out

you tried to kidnap me...

Colonel Kimchi in the hut
with the curling iron.

You need to write a fake love
letter to lure Koto here.

Make it look official. That
means crossing all the T's

and dotting all the I's
with cute little hearts.

Oh, I've got the
perfect glitter pen.

And the explosion
that takes down Koto

is our signal to rise.
Rise! Rise!

Like a yeasty sourdough loaf.

And take back our freedom!

Hmm.

The plan is simple. When
you hear the explosion,

the boom-boom,

you make punchy kicky.
At bad guy lemurs.

Oh!

I can't wait to stomp
one of those tyrants

right in the propaganda hole.

Stop the pierogi press.

Do we even know if
this plan is safe?

You have nothing to worry about.

I'm the grand master
at the chess of life.

As long as everything goes
according to my plan,

it is highly likely no one
will be gravely injured

except for Horst.

What? Why?

By now, you've probably realized

I'm not really a
wedding planner.

Yeah, it's pretty obvi,

'cause aren't you like a
salesman or something?

Well, that's the cover
story at least.

- Then what the heck are you?
- Me? I'm a spy.

So, Mr. Big-shot Spy, what
would happen if I got out?

Oh! We have this whole plan

to lure Koto to the hut and
blow it up when he's there.

Of course, that means
you won't be queen.

Probably end up marrying
some crocodile townie

who works in his grandfather's
hardware store.

All that would be
ruined if you got out.

That's what would
happen if you got out.

So, why the heck didn't
you tie my mouth shut,

when I can easily do this.

Okay, okay, let's not
do anything crazy.

I mean, I'm sure that you'll
be that townie's everything.

Let's just calm down.

Sage?

Sage.

Sage!

Not cool. My soul was totally
about to grab the key.

There is no one who can
save us now, Sage,

not Jarsh-Jarsh, not your soul,

nobody. We have to
save ourselves!

Sorry to interrupt, but do
you two have a preference

with regard to how
you're executed?

No brainer.

A series of devastating
roundhouse kicks

from a freakishly strong child.

You really just gonna give up!

Our quest failed.

Back in my village,

it was clear that my
aggression was only temporary.

And based on how hard you're
squeezing my arm right now,

you never learned to
control your anger.

Fine. I'll save us.

When the guards open the
gate, be ready to strike.

Hmm?

I guess I bet on the wrong
brother, huh, King K?

You still think I'd
make a good queen?

Perhaps, but unfortunately,
I already have a queen.

Master, I've got a
correspondence for you.

"Dear King Koto, I need
you in my hut right now,"

like so bad. I'm ♪lonely
and love you or something.

"Yours forever, definitely the
real crocodile princess."

This feels like a trap.

A tra...

If there is an ambush plan,
it'll help to have a hostage.

Ooh.

Would you like to join me for
a walk, my sweet Clover?

Oh.

I thought you'd
never ask, King K.

Tanson, the door.

Okay.

Taco cart? No, that was
an antique armoir.

No, I was right the first time.
Taco cart!

Attack them. Now! Do it!
This is our chance!

No! How can I be so stupid?

It's clearly not a taco cart.

It's a falafel stand,
isn't it, Clover?

Um?

What are you doing to my
brain, Mathlete's Foot?

I've rigged Mom-Bot's scanners

to beam images directly
into your retina,

creating a deep hypnosis

that'll allow you to journey
to your subconscious

and locate Smart Mort.

So get in there, bring
back Smart Mort

and let's fix this portal.

I think I'm really
hypnotizing him.

You know, Shirley Kaufman's
son is a real hypnotist.

Shush. T-This is incredible.

I think he's gone deep into
the recesses of his mind.

Wow, it's a little dark in here.

I want to be your friend.

Hi.

Come play with us, Mort.
Forever and ever...

I'mma gonna eat you.

I shan't be condescended to, madam.
I shan't!

That's gotta be Smart Mort.

Intruder! Intruder!

Intruder!

Intruder!

This is pretty weird, huh?

The two of us,
burying the hatchet,

working together. Hmm?

I'm only keeping you alive

so I have the honor of
ending you personally.

Not that swathe
Johnny-come-lately Koto

or your buffoonish
troglodyte of an uncle.

I worked too hard for this.

Koto is entering the hut.
Now's our chance.

Wait. Koto is not
alone in there.

What happened in here?

I fear this was an ambush.

I wanted you to be here with me.

Ambush? By whom?

He has seen through our ruse.
Blow the hut! Now!

Are you bleeping crazy, Karl?

Clover'd want you
to blow the hut.

It's for the good
of the kingdom.

Think about it.

Hmm?

You just made a grave mistake.

If I blow up Clover, my friend,

I'm no better than Koto or you!

You will rue this
decision, Julien!

- Relax.
- Rue it!

As long as we still
have Amy as a hostage,

everything is copacetic.

Ted, buddy, come on. You had
to watch one little princess.

I underestimated her just
like all the jealous haters

who think just 'cause she's
super pretty she must be dumb.

Surely you've seen the
error of your ways.

You had a chance
to "delife" Koto,

but you lacked the fortitude
to sacrifice your friend.

If anybody is getting
sacrificed for this kingdom,

it's gonna be me.

So I guess I'll just have
to take out Koto myself.

Lemur to mountain
lemur, hombre a hombre.

Karl, Ted, I'll be needing
your assistance, obviously.

This way, little Morty. I just
put on a kettle of chamomile.

Granny!

Granny, it's me, Mort.

The spider has ensnared the fly.

Hey, Morty.

Come and give Granny
a big ol' kiss.

I don't want your kisses, granny.
I'm a big boy now.

I just want Smart
Mort to come with me.

Sorry, sugarbear. I used
Smart Mort as bait,

and now that I've got you,

I don't reckon
anybody can stop me.

Stop you from what?

I'm finding a way out of here

and then I'll take
control of your body

and replace you.

And you'll be trapped in this
creepy prison you call a mind.

Oh, my God!

Ow!

You've really stepped
in it now, old boy.

One day, this kingdom
will be half yours.

How does your fiancee
feel about that?

Once I'm married to
Amy and my alliance

with the crocodile
kingdom is secure,

- she'll have an accident.
- Oh?

And then I'm free to
be with the only one

I've ever truly cared for.

Look, I know I can be
bit of a pill sometimes

but I can't deny how you
make me feel, Clover.

Get off!

Disappointing.

I will never marry you!

Not even to save your friends?

What are you talking about?

My people need the
resources in this kingdom,

but we don't need the citizens.

I could be convinced
to exile Julien

and your friends
to somewhere safe.

If you're willing to, uh...

Oh.

If it'll save my
friends, then fine!

You got any ideas? If
she finds her way out,

we're both trapped
down here forever.

Well, friend, if we
are in fact trapped

inside your subconscious

perhaps we have some tactical
advantage down here.

- Yeah? Like what?
- If this locked door is in your mind,

perhaps you can simply
think yourself free.

Maybe you're right.

I am kind of known for being

a thinker around the village.

I assure you, that
is not the case.

But if you succeed
in freeing me,

I in turn will help you repair
your little portal machine.

Okay. Here goes.

Oh, dear.

I unlocked the door!

Timo, should we take your little
friend out of his trance?

If we bring him back too fast,

his brain could go...

He's gonna have to save himself.

Use your mind!

Mm!

Honey mustard.

Well, I'll be.

What kind of voodoo are you
in league with, sonny?

You forgot this is
my brain, Granny.

And the only one who's gonna
do weird stuff in here is me!

Oh, yeah?

If that's how the
spirit moves ya...

I probably know karate
in here, right?

Um...

Ooh.

Oh, yeah. There it is.

Mm-hmm.

Come and get some, Granny.

Look out, I say. More
Morts are coming, Mort.

One minute.

Um...

What's wrong, Mort? Didn't I
always make you yummy food?

Didn't I always let you
massage my bunions

and scrape my elbow moulds?

Scrape your own moulds, Granny.

I'm sorry it had
to end this way.

You know, you always were
a pretty good grandson,

before you consumed my essence.

Hey, Granny! Make a wish,
you old night-creature!

Oh! I do appear to be trapped

in the bottom of a wishing well.

Good show, old boy.

My intellect is at your service.

Now show me the way out of here.

He's not breathing. Live! Live!

He's just a child.

Well, don't just stand there
mouths agape, legs akimbo.

Let's build ourselves a smashing

inter-dimensional
portal, shall we?

King Koto! It is great to
finally put a face to the name.

We have some foosa
specimen for ya'll.

We'd love for ya'll
to mosey on down

and get a closer look at them.

When Koto comes down to check

for gum disease and
hip dysplasia,

I'm gonna blast him.

Ooh. Oops. Guess I should
take the safety off, huh?

'Cause it... 'Cause I had it on.

Easy, Julien. You
only get one shot,

before you have to recharge.

Ermahgersh.

That foosa trafficker
literally kidnapped me.

Madam, I don't rightly know
what you're talking about.

Okay, fine. I have a confession to make.
I gotta come clean.

- He also kidnapped me!
- Guards!

Oh, boy!

So hypothetically how
long do we think

this thing takes to recharge?

Uh...

Judging by the fact that
we're surrounded by hundreds

of armed savages, I doubt
it really matters.

Welcome home, Julien.