All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 4, Episode 9 - The Panchurian Candidate - full transcript

𝒯𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓈𝓁𝒶𝓉e 𝓊𝓃𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓉 E𝒩𝒢LI𝒮H

I'm okay!

♪ Party ♪

- ♪ Who's the king? ♪
- ♪ King Julien! ♪

- ♪ Who's the king? ♪
- ♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Get down for the get down ♪

- ♪ Everybody party with King who?
♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪

- ♪ King who? ♪ - ♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Tonight will be forever ♪

♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪

♪ Woof! ♪



♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ All hail King Julien! ♪

Little more to left.

The left? Are you sure?

- Uh-huh. Yeah, totally paying attention.
- Oh-ho!

Eh?

Amelia!

Are you hurt, darling?
Talk to me.

Seriously?

Oh! What's that?

Look, Maurice, look what I found
lodged in the back of Amelia's skull.

Look. Are you looking?



I know, right?

The kingdom so needs some new tunes
to spice up our dance parties.

Ba-bop!

Bop!

I guess. Yeah.

Whoo.

Whoo...

This tape just might be the spice
we've all been waiting for.

Maurice, gather the kingdom.
It's dance party time!

Attention, my peoples.

As you know, Maurice
has seriously

dropped the ball recently...

when it comes to the fresh jams.

- Me?
- Yes, Maurice, apology accepted.

Fortunately, peoples,

your king feels your pain

and has found a new totally
off-the-heezy mix that's dropping!

Right now, baby!

Yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Huh?

Maybe if I just...

Or how about...

Eh...

Wait, it's... five, six, seven.

Oh, there's the beat.

This music does not speak to me.

Okay. Yeah. Little weird,

but go with it, everybody.

Eh! Ah!

Oh, there's the beat. There it...
Nope, false alarm.

- That's not it.
- Hmm.

Oh, this is a little too
avant-garde for me.

I have a very special
present for you, Pancho.

Go on. Take it. Take
your pineapple friend.

- Oh, isn't he cute?
- Hmm.

Yes, he is.

Go on, pet your
pineapple friend.

That's right. Now, hug
your pineapple friend.

Mmm.

Good. Now...

- Kill your pineapple friend!
- Ho! Ha!

Very good.

Turn it off! Turn it off now!

Uh...

Clover, stop! You know what?
Yeah, go ahead, do your thing.

That was an awful,
terrible song.

Get behind me, Your Majesty.

Wait, why?

- Has anyone seen Pancho?
- Huh?

Yeah, he's...

Huh? Well, he was twitching
right here a second ago.

We need to get King Julien
into the safe room.

Immediately.

Eh! This is the safe room?

Well, yeah. It is
the safest room.

Besides, we don't have the budget
for a real safe room. So...

Yoo-hoo, is this ocupado?

- Go away, Ted!
- Oh!

Oh, boy.

Uh. Clover, would you mind
telling me what's going on?

Like, right now?

Seriously, Clover.
What's this all about?

It has to do with the
Footstool Program.

- The what program?
- Never heard of it.

Exactly.

Ah...

Uh, Clo-Clo, this
folder is empty.

Exactly.

Clover!

Sorry.

The Footstool Program was a
top secret security program

put into place by Uncle King
Julien when he was king.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

If this is so top secret,

how do you know about
it and I don't?

Maurice. Does Clover have higher
security clearance than I do?

How should I know?

No!

I was Uncle King Julien's
head of security, remember?

I was privy to all the highly classified
security information during his reign.

Me again.

Hi, I'm really sorry to bother
you, but I really have to go.

Ah! Clench your tail muscles.

We'll be done in a minute.

Please continue, Clover.

I'll show you.

Toilet corn. Always makes
a movie more enjoyable.

Mmm... Hmm.

First, Uncle King Julien

wiped the agents' memories.

Then, he brainwashed them,

training them to target

all of Uncle Julien's
enemies when activated.

Then he used the mixtape you
played to activate the agents,

setting loose an
unstoppable deadly force,

the likes of which have
never been seen before!

But the training
didn't stop there.

In an attempt to help the agents blend
in and go unnoticed in the kingdom,

he made them take
advanced improv classes.

Let's begin the next exercise.
Can someone name a profession?

- Fart mechanic.
- A fart...

Fine. You're a fart mechanic.
Now we need a location.

Your mom.

That's not a location.

Can someone give me
another location?

That guy's mom.

Kill him.

That wasn't bad enough.

Uncle King Julien also made
the agents do something else.

Something so foul, so repulsive,
I can't even say it out loud.

Heaven.

Mmm-mmm.

Oh, please let me in,

this is the only outhouse
in the whole kingdom.

We live in a jungle, Ted!
Use a tree!

Well, I never.

Yeah, well, today is
the day you start.

Okay, but what happened
to all the agents though?

Well, eventually, Uncle King
Julien got bored with the program.

So, he dissolved it.

And all of the agents
were decommissioned.

Yeah, that's a big karma
killer right there, Clover.

Just... Just so you know.

I didn't know he was going to...
Or I would have done something.

But there was this one agent
who was never decommissioned.

Pancho. In fact, Pancho was trained,
but never actually activated.

And because I thought this
activation tape had been destroyed,

I just, you know, I figured
Pancho wasn't a threat.

So, what's the problem?

But the problem is that
when you played this tape,

Pancho was activated.

So that means he is a threat.

A threat to who?

A threat to you, Your Majesty.

You're Pancho's target.

Which is why we need to find
Pancho before he finds you!

I... I don't believe it.

Why would Uncle King Julien train
a secret assassin to kill me?

As his heir, you were always a threat
to Uncle King Julien's throne. Right?

'Cause... 'Cause training
Pancho to take you out,

that was his way of
protecting himself.

In case you ever did something like
you'd never do, like, you know,

try and take over
the kingdom, li...

Hold up. That was an option?

Snap! Why didn't anyone tell me I
could just take over the kingdom?

So, Pancho is out there right
now looking for King Julien?

How are we gonna stop a
highly trained assassin?

We can't stay in here
forever, people!

Pull yourself together, Maurice!

And let me think.

And move over. I need
some cheek room.

We have to set a
trap for Pancho.

Normally, I'd say Mort
should be the bait.

Yay.

But since I'm Pancho's target,

it looks like the bait's
going to have to be me.

I can't let you do that, Your Majesty.
It's too dangerous.

Do you have a better
plan, Clover?

- Uh...
- Yeah!

That's what I thought.
My plan it is.

Hey!

No!

Don't be such a Pushy Patrick, Mort.
Wait your turn.

Thank you!

Whoo! Yeah.

Here I am, King Julien,
just walking all alone.

Hope some recently-activated super
top-secret assassin doesn't find me

and try to

- take me out.
- Hoo-ah!

Hoo-ah!

Eh...

Hoo-ah.

On second thought, Clover,

this is definitely too danger...

Hoo-ah!

Get it away! Get it away!

Decommission him.
Decommission him, Clover!

King Julien, you're okay.
We got him.

Oh. I know. Totally
wasn't scared.

What do we do with him now?

We have to go talk to Uncle King Julien
and find out how to deactivate Pancho.

Since Uncle King Julien created
the Footstool Program,

he's the only one who can help.

I'm saved!

Oh, I'm saved. Oh, my
goodness, thank you.

Thank you, thank you, there.
Oh, I'm sa...

Oh, it's you.

Yeah, it is me, Uncle.
And guess what?

I found your tape.

What tape?

Oh! Ooh!

Where did you find it?

Yeah, I was looking
all over for this.

Yeah, so you could trigger your
sleeper agent to assassinate me?

- Huh? I don't know what you're ta...
- Save it, Uncle. Here's the sitch.

You have to tell us how
to deactivate Pancho.

Deactivate huh?

We need your help.

- Eh, "need" sounds a little desperate.
- Hmm... huh?

I think it's more
of a strong "want."

I'm not helping you. All right?

Are you crazy? Do I look like
someone who helps people?

Is there a sign on my forehead
that says "Free Help"? Huh?

Let me at him, Your Majesty.

No, no, Clover. It's
cool, it's cool.

Uncle King Julien would rather
stay in the bottomless pit.

Laters.

Okay. Wait. Whoa! Stop, stop!
I'll help you.

Ow!

Uh, slow down, missy.

Mort. What happened?
Where's Pancho?

Right there.

Mama.

Pancho took King Julien!

I guess my Footstool
Program worked after all.

Ooh, tax dollars well spent.

With any luck, your
king is already dead.

No!

Good thing I'm
here to take over.

Okay, first things first,
I'm gonna need a crown.

Ooh!

Quiet! King Julien has to be alive.
We have to find him.

Ugh! Please! Please
don't kill me.

I have so much left
to do in my life.

Quit your jabberin'.

I'm not gonna kill ya.

You're gonna... Wait, wait.
You're not?

Don't get me wrong. I want to. I
mean, I really, really want to.

I mean, like, everything in my
brain is telling me to kill you.

Julien is bad. Julien is bad.

Do as you were trained.

Kill Julien. Pancho, do it.

Oh, yes, do it. And
you'll get a lolly.

Oh!

Watermelon.

But there's also
this tiny voice...

deep inside that's
telling me not to.

Oh? Oh, I like that tiny voice.
Listen to that tiny voice.

Eh. What else is it saying?

Umm. It thinks that you might be
able to help me find out who I am.

Uh, you're Pancho. Bam!
There you go.

Mystery solved.
Wanna untie me now?

I know my name, but I don't
know where I came from.

Where did I grow up?
Did I have a family?

Uh, how do I know? Why
are you yelling at me?

I barely even know you.

You have to help me!
I'm in the dark here!

Okay! Okay!

Take it easy. Do you remember
anything from your past?

- I mean, anything at all?
- Um.

From my pa... Just a house.

With a red door.

A red door. A red do...

I know the house
you're talking about.

You do?

Yeah. That abandoned old hut on
the outskirts of the kingdom.

That's where my
garage/punk/rock/ska band,

Wiper Fluid, used to practice
back in lemur school.

Sadly, the band broke up.

So, uh, about that hut...

What can I say? Fame
went to our heads.

Oh, how I miss being
up on that stage.

All the adoring fans.

Oh, right. Uh, this
isn't about me

and my shattered dreams
of musical stardom.

Back to you. Uh, I remember
where that house is!

I will take you there.

It's no use. Pancho
is a trained agent.

He knows how to move around
without leaving a trail.

- We are never gonna find King Julien.
- Oh!

- Look!
- Not now, Mort!

But it's part of
King Julien's crown!

- What?
- Hmm? Let me see that.

- Mort's right.
- Uh-huh.

Aha!

King Julien is
leaving us a trail.

They're headed this way.
Come on!

It's so tight!

I don't think I can.

Oh, come on. We don't have
time for all of that. Get up.

Just go on without me.

We can't leave him here
'cause I don't trust him.

I know, but he's
slowing us down.

Besides, he's an old man. How
much trouble can he cause?

Right. Better tie him up.

Suckers.

This is it.

I'm starting to remember.
I lived here.

With my family. Oh.
I had a family!

That's great. Oh!
What is that smell?

I had a dad. Yeah, I
can almost see him.

He loved to garden.

- Hmm.
- And my mom, she had blue eyes.

And my sister, she always wore a
little yellow bow in her hair.

Uh, bad news, Pancho.

- What?
- I'm sitting on your family.

No! It can't be!

You mean, I never had a...
family?

Sorry, Pancho, but, you know,
maybe you're better off.

I mean, families are
pretty overrated.

And there's always
so much drama,

like when your uncle tries to kill
you and then take over your kingdom.

Or like when your pesky nephew

- takes your crown...
- Mm-hm.

- And refuses to give it back.
- Mm-hm.

Exactly. Wait... Uncle?
Where did you come from?

How did you get in here?

Oh, I had a bunch of underground
tunnels made during my reign,

so I could move around quickly,

mostly due to my Irritable
Bowel Syndrome.

You never know when
you have to go.

Okay, gross.

You!

Do as you're trained to do.

Do as you're trained
to do, Pancho.

Lolly.

Destroy Julien.

It's time, Pancho.

It's time for you to
fulfill your mission.

Destroy Julien.

- Yes. Must destroy Julien.
- Uh. No. Hold up.

I just helped you
find your house, man.

And F-Y-by the way, Uncle King
Julien isn't the king anymore. I am.

So, technically, you should
take him out and not me.

- Yes. Must destroy Uncle King Julien.
- No! No, no, no, no.

Julien is your target.
Remember your training.

- Must destroy Julien.
- No! Remember that little voice?

"Don't hurt King Julien.
He's delightful,

and so handsome, and he
didn't erase your memories

and brainwash you into
being an assassin."

Yeah. You. You did this to me!

Fontanelle ellipsis schmear.

Wait... What? What did you do?

I just triggered phase six.
The Final Protocol.

I'm gonna go out on a limb
and say that's bad, right?

Oh, yeah.

Pancho! Come back! Pancho!

King Julien, you're alive!

Oh, group hug.

Where's Pancho?

Uncle King Julien triggered something
called the Last Prototype or something.

I can't remember exactly,
but it sounded bad.

No. Not the Final Protocol.

Oh, yeah. That's it.

I know where Pancho's going.

We've got to hurry!

What's he doing?

Look. A missile.

He's going to blow
up the kingdom!

King Julien, what do we do?

Don't worry, Maurice.
I'll deal with Pancho.

I just need you three to get on
that boat and create a diversion.

On it.

Fontanelle ellipsis schmear.

Fontanelle ellipsis schmear.

Fontanelle ellipsis schmear.

Fontanelle ellipsis schmear.

Not good, Clover. We're
standing on an explosive mine.

Easy. Easy. We're light enough
that they probably won't explode.

Probably?

We just have to tread lightly.

Follow me.

Eh!

Okay. If I were an off
button, where would I be?

Ah!

No, no, no, stop!

Fontanelle ellipsis schmear.

Pancho!

How do we make it stop?

I don't know! I
tried everything!

Actually, there is one
thing I haven't tried.

I don't know! I don't know!

Clover!

Fontanelle ellipsis schmear.

Listen to me, Pancho, you
don't have to do this.

Remember your family!

We love you, Pancho.

No, Dad. No. It's all a lie!

You're not real. I
don't have a family!

You're wrong. We are your family.
The entire kingdom.

- Me, Maurice, Clover, Mort...
- No!

Fine, Mort is out.

My point is, you're not alone.

You have us.

Stop the countdown
before it's too late.

Don't destroy your home.

Fontanelle ellipsis schm...

What the... Hey. What? Whoa!

Pancho, you're back!

Okay, buddy.

We can all have a
good cry later,

but right now, you need to
stop that countdown clock!

Yeah. Okay.

Did he do it?

The kingdom is safe.

Hooray!

We did it!

Think again, nephew.

You again? Really?
Newsflash, Uncle.

Your Final Protocol?
Yeah, it didn't work.

We won. In your face.

Oh, my goodness.
You are so right.

Operation Footstool was
a complete failure.

And you, you big lump of sea salt
taffy, you're a disappointment.

Which is why I created the Final
Protocol in the first place.

And also why I had my missile
outfitted with a manual override code

that only I know.

Oh, boo-hoo.

- Huh?
- Manual who?

If I can't have my kingdom...

no one can.

This is for my family.

Why does this keep
happening to me?

Oh, I thought it
was really nice.

You have a lovely home.
Nice house.

Great party, Pancho.

I just wanted to thank you for helping
me figure out who I am, King Julien.

I'm no longer in the dark here!

Sure thing, buddy.

Yeah, I am so glad
I found my family.

My real family.

We're gonna be together forever

and ever

and ever

and ever.