All Hail King Julien (2014–2017): Season 2, Episode 10 - The Man in the Iron Booty - full transcript

[theme song playing]

♪ Party ♪

-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Get down for the get down ♪

-♪ Everybody party with King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

-♪ King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Tonight will be forever ♪

♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪

♪ Woof! ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪



♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ All hail King Julien! ♪

And done...

Are you making a statue of Mort,
Your Majesty?

No! Even better!

I've encased Mort in sand!

Mainly so the royal eardrums
can get a break

from all his annoying Mort-ness.

Hey, Mort,
say something annoying like you do.

[Mort mumbling]

[giggles]

See? Works great.

[laughs]



You next, Mo-Mo.

Let's see...

gonna need a lot more sand.

[groans]

[grunting with effort]

[exclaims in pain]

[clinking sound]

Look, Maurice! A message!

[gasping and coughing]

[inhales]

A message?

What's it say?

Yes, Maurice, what does it say?

"Dear Sir, Madam,
and my dearest friend..."

Oh! It's from my dearest friend!

"I write you today
in very honest sincerities.

I am a king that has lost my kingdom.

Please send me
one thousand mangoes to help me

regain my throne.

Whatever you send will be returned to you

four times more back in return."

Four times the mangoes in return!

I don't know, King Julien.
Sounds kinda like a scam.

Always so suspicious.

What has made your heart so cold, Maurice?

Who hurt you?

[gasps]

It's so exciting.

If we send 1000 mangoes, we'll get, um...

five... eighteen... bracket, unbracket...

It's like a lot of mangoes, people!

Let's do this!

[grunting]

Bye-bye, mangoes!

[laughs]

[exclaims]

[grunting]

Object acquired.

Huh.

A map.

[chuckling]

Color me intrigued.

[grunts]

This is the spot... wait!

There!

Could be an unknown explosive device.

[chuckles]

Defusing.

Pull the red ribbon first...

or the blue... Blue or red? Blue.

No, red! [grunting]

Throwing stars?

They're so...

Beautiful. Oh!

"Clover, these are for you.
More gifts await if you can find them.

Embrace the danger!
Your Secret Admirer."

I... I've got a... a secret admirer?

[snoring]

[raft thumps]

Wait? Look!

[laughs joyously]

It worked!

[exclaims in delight]

We got four times as many mangoes back!

Just like the poor king said.

I don't get it. Something's off.

[shivers]

Why did it suddenly get so cold?

Did someone leave the door
to Maurice's frozen heart open?

[exclaims]

Ow!

King Julien! You got another message.

[laughs]

Give it a read, Iceman.

"Dear exquisitely handsome
and generous sir,

and or madam..."

[grunting]

Bye-bye, bananas!

[grunting]

Bye-bye, pok poks!

[grunting]

Bye-bye, birthday cakes!

[grunting]

Bye-bye, trees!

[grunting]

Bye-bye, huts!

-[grunting]
-Bye, King Julien!

Bye-bye, all the lemurs in the kingdom!

You gave away the whole kingdom.

I know, isn't it great!

We're gonna get four times back in return!

That's four kingdoms, Maurice!

Count it! One, two, four!

Eh...

And now, all we have to do is wait.

[clock ticking]

[crickets chirp]

[rooster crows]

[crickets chirping, rooster crowing]

Ugh!

We forgot to send these bones!

[grunting]

[exclaims in awe]

A traditional recurved crossbow

with laser sighting
and belt-fed bolt action?

Whoever this guy is, he really gets me!

"If you would like to meet,
I will be waiting

atop this mountain.

Come alone."

[sighs]

That's pretty far.

But so worth it!

I gotta meet this guy!

[Maurice] I don't think anything's coming,
Your Majesty.

Don't be hatin', Mo-Mo.
I'm sure there's an explanation.

That poor king probably needs help
loading all those return rafts.

Let's go so Mort can give him a hand.

[exclaims]

[crickets chirping, rooster crowing]

Good call bringing the bones, Maurice!

I didn't wanna bring the stinkin' bones.

They give me the heebie-jeebies.
[shudders]

Look! An island!

[shouts]

[Maurice] I don't know, King Julien.

This place gives me the creeps.

[Julien] Hello. Hello?

My dearest friend!
It's me! Your sir or madam!

[shouts]

-Crimson?
-Hi, pookie-wookie. Miss me?

[sighs in relief] For a second
I thought we were in trouble.

Give me a hug, sister girl.

[Julien groans]

Crimson,
I'm sensing a little anger on your part

like there's some kind of rift between us.

Have I done something to upset you?

You promised to marry her
and then broke it off

leaving her standing at the altar
sad and alone.

Remember that?

Come on, I do that kind of stuff
all the time.

It's nothing personal.

You escaped me once,
but you won't escape me again.

[grunts] Pull it inside!

[all exclaim]

[all grunting in effort]

Welcome to... Prison Watch!

This just in...
Spring break is canceled forever!

[sobbing]

Sprang break...

I was framed, I tell ya!
Framed!

Everybody is so miserable.

This is like the worst place ever.

I guess it's the maid's week off
because that shower is F-O-U-L filthy!

And it's full of monkeys.

And one of them snapped me
in the heinie with its wet tail!

We, we're all gonna die!

[laughs maniacally]

Weight lifting? Forced labor?
A dubious shower situation?

It's like a prison or something.

Your Majesty, it is a prison.

Oh! Well, that--

Oh...

Okay, Crimson, I get it.
You're upset with me for some reason.

But why take it out on my people?

Oh, I'm not the one interested
in your people, shmoopie bear...

he is.

Meet your Secret Mystery King.

[sing-song] Hello, Nephew.

[exclaims] Uncle King Julien?

You are correct, sir.

I want to thank you
for giving me my kingdom back,

one raft at a time.

[laughs mockingly]

I can't believe that you fell for
the old "king in trouble" thing.

[continues laughing]

What a mook.

Huh? [groans]

Nephew, welcome to your new home...

Feartopia!

[sinister music playing]

Gonna go out on a limb and say that
name is not gonna draw the crowds.

Well, I don't need to draw the crowds.
Everybody is here!

And guess what?

That's the only gate.
And I have the only key.

So tough brownies!

Nobody's leaving!

My kingdom, my rules.
And you're all going to obey them.

[scoffs] Please, my booty
doesn't play by the rules.

Yeah.

Well, it's gonna learn!

Bring forth the Iron Booty!

[disco song playing]

♪ Iron Booty
It's a booty made of iron ♪

[exclaims]

♪ Iron Booty
Gonna cage you in desire ♪

♪ Iron Booty
Once you're in, you're never out ♪

♪ Iron Booty ♪

♪ Watch out! ♪

Meet your new best friend there, Nephew,
the Iron Booty.

Seven layers of cold rolled steel.

That looks like it chafes.

How do you go pee-pee in that?

Iron Booty killed my cousin, man.

Looks like a metal diaper.

Yeah.

We wanted metal jean-shorts
but they were just too expensive.

You're wasting your time, Uncle.
Nothing can contain this booty.

This booty is a force of nature.

Wild. Unpredictable. Fierce.

We'll see about that.

Crimson!

[grunting]

[exclaiming in fear]

Let's see you "move it, move it" now.

[sobbing]

My badonkadonk!
I can't see it!

[screaming] My heinie needs sunshine!

Without sunlight,
King Julien's booty is gonna die!

He can't live without his booty!

[crying in exasperation]

I'm coming, King Julien!

We're going to break you completely,
Nephew.

Put him in the box!

[crowd gasps]

[sadly] King Julien.

[crying]

You'll never get away with this!

Clover's still out there.
She'll rescue us!

Hmm, not so much.

I used a little inside sister knowledge

to trick her
into waiting for a secret admirer

who not only doesn't exist,
but is coming to kill her.

[laughs cruelly]

Right about now.

[shouting] Hello?
Secret admirer? I'm here!

-[vulture squawking]
-[screaming]

[both grunting]

[grunting]

Sage?

Hey, Clover, didn't know it was you.

I don't like to put eye-holes in the mask.

Keeps my skills sharp.

Why are you here?

Why does the shark swim
forever in the moonlight?

That's not an answer.

Answers are just questions
with different punctuation.

[angrily] Why are you here, Sage?

You hired me
to kill somebody named Clover.

What? That doesn't make any sense.

I'm Clover. Why would I do that?

I didn't think it was you you.

I thought it was another Clover.

Clover's the name society forced upon you.

I only know you
as the name I gave you in my mind...

[speaking gibberish]

So, I hired you
to kill somebody named Clover,

which is crazy, 'cause I--

[exclaims] Crimson!

[exclaiming]
That's my favorite color, too.

Sage, focus.

Where was I when I asked you to kill me?

Right... about here.

[sighing] Did I give you anything?

Yeah, these sweet clams--

-She paid you in clams.
-Yes.

Wait a minute... I know this clam.

Hm. This particular type
of mollusca bivalvia heterodonta

can only be found
on that little atoll to the southwest.

Gotcha, Crimson.

You are so gonna pay for this!

Mm...

Oh, he is really baking in there.

Yeah.

Let's stick a toothpick in him
and see if he's done.

[whimpers]

Hello, sunbeam, my only friend.

Tell me a story.
Oh, yeah! I love that one!

Where are these lines coming from?

[exclaims] Whose hand is this?

Come on, Escondido! Come on!

Oh, dirty tricks! Oh, dirty bug jockeys!

Not bad.

[laughing crazily]

I am a naughty rainbow
and I need a spanking!

[laughing insanely]

[bawling in fear]

[laughing hysterically]

[chuckles]

Oh, yeah! He's ready!
Bring him out!

[whimpering]

[exclaiming in pain]

I promised I would break you, Nephew,
and that is what I did.

I made you fear me.

[meekly] How...

[coughs]

How many years
have I been in the box?

Fifteen minutes.

Hey, dumb-dumb? You want some more?

[crying] No, Uncle, no more.

I'll do whatever you want...

I got my mind right.

Please don't put me back in the box.

How do I know
that you're telling me the truth?

I don't want any backsliding now.

I won't slide in any direction!
I got my mind right.

[dance music playing]

[gasps]

Uh-huh. Uh-huh!

I don't believe your dancing booty
can resist such a badonkalicious beat.

Huh? Am I right?

Badonkadonk? Badonkadonk!

A donka? And a donka?

I sound German!

You've done it. He's broken.

King Julien? No!

You monster!

You've destroyed
everything good and beautiful!

[shouting]

[crying]

It's too hot to sleep, slave. Fan me.

Whatever you wish, Uncle.

Ah, it's so good to be king again, Nephew.

Aren't you glad that I'm king again?

Yes, Uncle. Of course, Uncle.

You hear that, Uncle?

That's the sound of my booty
tunneling to freedom!

And it's coming for you!

[laughs]

[whispering]
Psst! Mo-Mo, wake up.

But, Henrietta, I love you, baby!

Maurice, wake up!

Who-in-the-what-hey-who-ha?

Your-- Your Majesty! You're back!

Keep it down, Maurice. I have the key.

[laughs]

I thought they broke you.

I was faking it so I could grab the key.

I know my uncle.

[laughs]

[whispers] I mean...

[laughs softly]

Now, wake the peoples. We are leaving.

[both exclaim]

[rooster crowing]

Uh-uh-uh.

Where do you think you're going?

Oh, right. You're not going anywhere.

[laughs]

With a laugh like that,
no wonder I didn't want to marry her.

[Clover] Clover from above!

[grunting]

The key!

[panting]

[exclaims in pain]

Looks like
we're right back where we started, Nephew.

[laughs]

I told you,
you will never leave Feartopia!

There's been a change of plans, Uncle!

I'm not afraid of you!
You can't keep me down!

And you can't keep my peoples down!

We're gonna grab that key and go home.

Whaddya say, my peeps?

[all] Yeah!

Stay away from me!
Stay away from me!

What'cha doing here, sister girl?

Thought you'd be half-past dead by now.

I should be
after you sent me fake love letters,

hired my sort of ex-boyfriend--
well, not really,

but he had really big arms
so there was that

but anyway-- to kill me!

[both grunting]

Oh, Clover fights herself.

I wish I had a second me
to wrestle into submission.

I would hold me tight in my rippling arms.

[grunting]

Well placed.

[exclaims]

Ah, nice.

[panting]

Maurice! The Mort-o-rang!

Whee! Yes, please! Hurl me!

[grunts]

Hurray!

I'm a projectile!

[exclaims in pain]

This just in! I got it! I got it--

Update. I don't got it.

Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!

No! Mine!

[shouting and choking]

-Mine!
-Mine!

-Mine!
-Mine!

-Mine!
-Mine!

-Mine!
-Yours!

-Okay.
-Psych!

How could you send someone
to kill your own sister?

We're family!

How could you
ruin your own sister's wedding!

-Admit it. You were jealous.
-No, I wasn't!

Yes, you were.
You've always been jealous of me!

Well, I wouldn't have been jealous
if you would have just included me!

How could I?

You were always off doing martial arts
camp or wilderness survival training.

You didn't have time for me!

I would have made time!

-You would have?
-Of course.

You're my... You're my sister.

[sobbing]

-[crying]
-I'm sorry.

-[wailing]
-I'm sorry. No, I am!

[all cheering]

[exclaims in pain]

King Julien! No!

I told you, you would never leave here!

I'm the king! Me! Not you!

You weren't even supposed to survive
the foosas when I made you king.

Well, I'm gonna fix that right now,
you tub of lard!

Tub on this, Uncle!

Todd! Hit it!

[plays up-tempo music]

Huh?

Here comes the Underground Butt Railroad!

[imitates train chugging, then whistle]

Let my cheeks go!

[jiggling]

[moans unsteadily]

[groans dazedly]

And I told you!
You will never break this booty!

Prepare to get cheeked, Uncle!

[slow motion] Booty power!

Stay down.

I don't want to
butt slap you again, Uncle.

Now, who's got the key?

I swallowed it.

Okay, Mort, open wide.

Aah...

Surprisingly roomy in here.

Okay, got it.

But that was kind of, uh... grody.

[shudders]

So I've decided you get to stay here
in your Feartopia.

Alone. Forever.

You're welcome!

Let's chat about this. Please.

[shouting] No!

[indistinct chattering]

Wait. Where's Crimson?

Oh! I saw her go off with Sage.
They were totally holding hands!

I think they're in love!

No. No, she wouldn't.

Not Sage, my almost one-time ex-boyfriend.

Just sort of, almost.

Anyway, typical. This is so typical.

So-- [growls]

[angrily] Crimson!

[cawing]

-[vulture squawking]
-[exclaims]

Any of you fellas
know how to play the harmonica?

[disco song playing]

♪ Iron Booty
It's a booty made of iron ♪

♪ Iron Booty
Gonna cage you in desire ♪

♪ Iron Booty
Once you're in, you're never out ♪

♪ Iron Booty ♪

♪ Watch out! ♪