All Grown Up! (2003–2008): Season 1, Episode 13 - Lucky 13 - full transcript

We're breaking up, Sean.

( phone beeps off )

( laughs ):
Wow.

Did you just
break up with Sean?

Teenager means
never having to explain.

GIRL:
Four, three, two, one!

( rock music playing )

♪ Every birthday,
my mom and dad would say ♪

♪ "You're another year older,
another year wiser" ♪

♪ But I still go to school ♪

♪ To get an education ♪



♪ I treat each and every day ♪

♪ Like a mini vacation ♪

♪ All grown up! ♪

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up! ♪

♪ I want the world to know ♪

♪ All grown up! ♪

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ All grown up with... ♪

♪ you. ♪

( kids all admiring Angelica )

Me and the Dil-man



are finally on
the radar of life

because our cousin's
a teenager.

Angelica, what's it like
being a teenager?

It's just like being in a movie
starring me, Angelica.

VOICE:
Angelica.

GIRL:
Angelica.

I'm really sorry,

but this table is reserved

for the 13 and over crowd.

Plus, you're kind of
sitting in my chair.

Not like your
name's on it, Savannah.

Wow-- and in gold, too.

Oh, well.

In a few days
I'll be 13

and have my own cool table.

And who knows?

Might be
the new hot spot.

Right, girls?

Oh, and some of you

haven't RSVP yet
to my birthday party.

Don't miss out
on the cell phones

in the
gift bags.

No roaming fees,
unlimited minutes.

SUSIE:
Ooh, girlfriend.

Taking on a thirteener
before you are one

is like opening
an umbrella indoors

while walking
under a ladder

as you break a mirror
which dropped

when you opened
that dumb umbrella.

ANGELICA:
The minute I'm 13,

Savannah and I
will be equals--

especially after my party,

or as I prefer to call it:
"the new gold standard."

What's the latest
tally on RSVP's

for this
new gold standard?

Well, so far there's Amanda,
Emily, Kendra and you two guys.

Sounds more
like the new
tin standard.

( giggling )

CHARLOTTE:
Any idea how the invitations

addressed to Tommy,
Dil, and that group

ended up stuffed behind
the refrigerator?

Fluffy.

No cat toys
for a week.

Invite them.

Tommy and
his band of dweebs?

Did I mention
their idea of fun

is sniffing
each other's socks.

You never know
where a dweeb...
someone may end up.

Today a sock-sniffer,

tomorrow President
of the New York
Stock Exchange.

( growls angrily )

Oh, here's
some good news.

I landed Zedra--
TV teen psychic.

She's amazing.

She said she knew
I'd be calling.

Your friends can have
aura readings

in between porpoise rides
and pedicures.

Sounds incredible.

All the more reason

I don't want
my party ruined.

It's bad
enough there'll
be pre-teens there,

but...
pre-pre-teens?

Please don't make me
invite them!

Sorry.

Guess I could always
stick them in little outfits

and make them serve punch.

ANGELICA:
Here, here, here and here.

Sorry they're late.

And stepped on.

Nothing says I want
you at my party

like a big footprint.

ANGELICA:
Of course if you already
have other plans,

I'll understand.

Uh, for instance...

The Circus,
the Ice Capades,

open house at
the Waxed Lip Museum?

Ooh, and looky here.

Bossy and Flossy
the two-headed cow is,

uh... are appearing
at the county fair.

That's a doer.

Just leave my
birthday gifts

in the lockbox
on my porch.

Well, this is where we part.

I'm going to be a teenager
and you guys aren't.

I'd love to say
it's been great,

but why lie now?

When you see
me in passing,

look the
other way.

I'm on to bigger,

better and
older things.

PHIL:
So basically
same old-same old?

Pretty much.

Well, nothing's
going to keep me away.

There's porpoise rides.

They talk, you know.

No way I'm missing
what could be

the most meaningful conversation
of my life.

Well?

SUSIE:
I'd stay away from
horizontal stripes.

Not me.

Angelica's
birthday gift.

It's her big 1-3.

BOTH GIRLS:
Oof!

Sorry, Susie.

Didn't see you.

I'm a little obsessed
with finding

the perfect dress
for my party.

Your party?

Really hope
you can make it.

Ooh-- that dress wants me
as much as I want it.

"You're Invited
To My Soon-To-Be Annual

Annual Spring Bash
This Saturday!"

Uh-oh.

The date!

Ah, yes--
the dreaded date.

How about we just
go together?

The date
of Savannah's party.

This can't be right.

Savannah's party is
on the same day as Angelica...

( dog barking )

Just remember,
as soon as you

break the news
to Angelica, duck.

How come I have to do it?

You're a better
bad-news-breaker than I am.

Because you're the one
with the ice cream, Harold.

You'll be able to deflect
whatever she throws.

( doorbell dings )

The important thing is,

we're letting her
down easy

before she finds out
the hard way.

Can you believe it?

These people
all said no.

I don't get it.

Angelica...

Harold has something
to tell you.

What?!

Now, don't go
all crazy, Angelica.

You still have
a bunch of yeses.

( phone rings )

Hello?

Oh, hi, Amanda.

What?

You already said...

Oh...

Yeah.

Whatever.

( phone clicks off )

Amanda said
she couldn't risk

turning Savannah down.

Well, at least
you still have us

and... uh...
some other good friend.

( phone rings )

It could be someone selling you
a vacation time-share.

I don't think so.

( ringing )

( sobbing )

Some people
have actually decided

not to come to Angelica's
birthday party.

They're going to
this Savannah person's.

( blows nose loudly )

And I can't change
the date now.

I had to move oceans
to get those porpoises.

Oh, this is all
my fault.

If I had given birth
to her a day later,

none of this
would have happened.

But now no one's
coming to her party.

The porpoises
might as well pack it up.

( sobbing )

Oh, cold.

No one's going
to Angelica's party.

( high-pitched
squeaking )

That's porpoise for,

"Why are you guys hanging
outside the kitchen?"

Angelica's party is
kind of guest-light.

Swank.

More one-on-one time

for me and my
blowhole buddies.

Serves Angelica right
for being so bossy.

Speaking of
Bossy and Flossy--

are we going
Saturday or what?

I want to win a chance
at milking her...

I mean, them.

I don't know, guys.

This sounds
pretty sad.

Know what's really sad?

Angelica didn't
want us at a party

no one else even wants to go to.

Does the bottom of the
food chain have a basement?!

I bet she wants us to go now.

She made it pretty
obvious she didn't.

Besides, who cares?

Well, I say we take a vote.

Then let me go first.

No.

No-no, no.

No, no, no, no!

We get it.

We're here for
the girls' votes anyway.

BOTH:
No!

Thanks for giving it
some thought.

Okay, Chuckie.

You're my last hope.

Seeing as I foresee this party

as considerable potential
damage to my self-esteem,

I feel I have no choice
but to vote no.

I mean, it's Angelica.

For all we know, she could
stick us in little outfits

and make us serve punch.

Well, the difference
between you guys
and me is...

I have to go.

Let's face it.

I'm trapped in
the cold, genetic truth.

She's my cousin.

( wailing loudly )

( chomping loudly )

( wailing )

I warned you
this called for
a double-tubber.

Look, Angelica--

it's not that bad.

( wailing loudly )

( cat screeches )

( blows nose )

( crying )

I know there's a way
out of this.

Like maybe
they'll discover

toxic mold in
Savannah's basement

and she'll have to
cancel her party.

Or... Angelica
could ask Savannah

to change the day of her party.

What?

Are you crazy?

I'm the injured
person here.

It's my 13th birthday.

You're actually suggesting
I go crawling to Savannah

and beg her to change
the day of her party?

So can you change
the day of your party?

Hmm... we do have
a problem, don't we?

I mean, we wouldn't want
to force anyone to choose.

It's like we think
the same.

By the way, I love how your eye
shadow matches your belt buckle.

Oh, thanks.

Anyway, because I know

how much your party
means to you,

I'll certainly see
what I can do.

You're the best,
Savannah.

Mm-hmm.

Convince Savannah
to change date of party.

Check.

Coordinate party eye shadow
to match belt buckle and shoes.

( high-pitched squeak )

That was "Pass
the sardine," right?

More like,
"You want blubber with that?"

Darn!

Angelica?

Busy here.

Can I help you?

Look, we're cousins.

And even though
we've had our ups and downs

and downs and downs...

I don't want you
to be alone at your party.

So here it is-- I'll be there.

Did I mention
what a sacrifice
this is for me?

Dear little cousin.

I'll hardly be alone

as Savannah's changing
the date of her party.

But because it was
so sweet and pointless
of you to offer,

I'll be sure to
mail you a piece of cake.

SCHOOL ANNOUNCER:
Just a reminder.

Have a lovely day.

Take me off the
being-a-good-cousin list.

Party's back on,
which means I'm off the hook.

( squeaking )

Uh, you might want
to ix-nay the hook talk

around Kid Porpoise.

And then I thought,

why get only
one music act
when I could get two--

techno and pop.

Glad your party
is back on.

I knew
my idea would work.

Except I did think

Savannah'd take
at least a day

to make up her mind.

I can call the tux store

and reinstate my order.

Well, Miss Teen Queen
sure looks stoked.

It is nice she'll have
a big crowd

for her big par-tay.

Not as nice as knowing
we ain't going.

So what day did Savannah
move her party to?

She didn't say.

Did I tell you
there's going to be

an ice sculpture of me

carved from
the actual iceberg

that sank the Titanic?

Well... what exactly
did she say?

That she'd see
what she could do.

Uh... Angelica--

far be it from me
to burst any bubbles,

but that doesn't sound
like she promised

to change the date
of her party.

We had this total
teen communication.

You pre-teens
wouldn't understand.

Savannah, would you
please tell these two

the new date
of your party?

Oh, my gosh.

Didn't I tell you?

I really tried
to move things around,

but no luck.

Sorry.

But y-you said...

That I'd see
what I could do.

And I did.

Bye-bye.

( crying )

SAVANNAH:
I don't understand
why she actually thought

I'd change the date.

Doesn't she know I planned it

for that day on purpose?

I know it sounds mean,

but Angelica did break
a major rule

by assuming she'd be popular
before proven.

It's a hard lesson,
but it's for her own good.

In the long run,
she'll thank me.

I can't believe it.

Someone actually
out-meaned Angelica.

Well, Angelica's bawling her
eyes out in the girl's room.

She keeps flushing
so no one hears.

But it'd take
a leaf blower

to drown out
that blubbering.

This is so, so sad.

Even I almost feel
sorry for her.

I said "almost."

What are you guys talking about?

She gave us
our walking papers, remember?

It's not our problem.

Then why does it feel
like it is?

It's kind of like
when you step on
a wad of gum.

You can never
get it completely
off your shoe.

Right, it's like even though
Lil disses Phil,

she defends him
when other kids do it.

You... diss me?

Only behind your back.

Oh, okay then.

The point is
relatives can diss you,

but outsiders can't;
and Savannah's way outside.

I got to do something.

Angelica isn't
even my cousin

and I feel like
doing something, too.

I guess she's been
in our lives so long

she's kind of like an evil
annoying cousin to all of us.

There's no way around it--
she's family.

Guys, I think I got a plan.

TOMMY:
Uh... Savannah?

Oh, my gosh!

You're a Señor
Jumping Bean fan, too?

Isn't he
the cutest thing

when he does
the Mexican hat dance

around his own
tiny sombrero?

( grunts )

Uh-huh.

( Mexican music playing )

( music stops )

Uh, you don't
know me, but...

Of course I do.

You're Tommy, uh...

Yeah, yeah.

The point is I, too, believe

Señor Jumping Bean is the
world's cutest Chihuahua.

Wow...

There's even
Señor Jumping Bean

pre-moistened
towelettes?

If it says, "Señor
Jumping Bean," I have it.

Oh, man, then I guess
you already have

a VIP invitation
to the Señor Jumping Bean

after-hours book signing

at the Lap Dog of Luxury
pet store Saturday?

No, I don't.

And I'm a VIP.

How come I didn't get one?

Did I say "VIP"?

I meant "VVIP."

Anyway, the thing
of it is I can't go.

My father's having
an anklectomy.

They're dissolving.

The good news is

he's getting
new titanium ones.

So, anyway, if
you don't have

anything else
to do that night,

would you like
my ticket?

Would I?!

I... did have
a party planned,

but everyone will
just have to find

something else to do.

I can't believe
you're giving this

to a total stranger.

Truth...

I'm not a teenager,

but someday I will be

and I hope that someone
of your popularity

and eternal coolness
will remember me.

Not only are you a fellow
Señor Jumping Beaniac,

but you're
a first-class kiss-up.

Thanks.

Whew.

So it worked?

Thanks to my brain...

and your home printing press.

I got to get them
all prettied up

for when I milk
Bossy and Flossy.

( splashing and squeaking )

ANGELICA:
Oh, I can't believe you guys
made me go through with this.

Some kids
might show up.

Yeah...

Harold's right.

I mean...
you never know.

Know?

Know?

I'll tell you what I know...

Hey, Angelica!

Happy Birthday.

Oh, yeah, thanks.

No one is going
to show up at this party!

And you want to know why?

( kids greeting Angelica )

Yeah, hi, how are you.

I'll tell you why,

It's because I...

You were saying?

It's because...

they all came
to their senses.

ANGELICA:
You see, pre-teens,

showing up at my party
is my peers' way

of acknowledging my equal
popularity status with Savannah,

whose party obviously
can't compete with mine.

Uh, Angelica--

Kimi told me that
Tommy and his friends

saved your party by getting
Savannah to postpone hers.

What?

Those pre-pre-teens
did that for me?

Tommy, get over here now!

Bossy's the real cow.

Flossy's just a fake cow head.

Well, then get over here
as soon as Phil stops crying.

( kids chattering
as music plays )

( squeaking )

I knew you guys
had interface

with our alien brethren.

( both squeaking )

Cool!

I mean, ( squeaks ).

Just think, Drew,
before we know it

we'll be planning
her sweet 16.

Do you think
they can squeeze

one more face
on Mount Rushmore?

I still say she's
going to put us

in funny little outfits
and make us serve punch.

Punch?

And he's her friend.

I guess you know
why I called you.

Where do we suit up?

I heard what you did
and wanted you here

because it's my way
of saying...

of saying... of saying...

thanks!

Sorry, but that doesn't make up

for destroying
my carefully constructed

Bossy and Flossy illusion.

I mean...

Hey...

is that a mime?

( chuckling )

So... how did you

get Savannah to call
off her party?

"Señor Jumping Bean," huh?

( gulps )

There was
no book signing

at the pet store.

It was just
free flea dip day!

I found out
he's your cousin

and you put him up to this
in order to steal

all my friends
from my party!

And admit it!

Fake book signing?

Hmm, it's sneaky,

underhanded, back-stabbing,

something I'd normally do,

but amazingly
didn't.

Well, I want my friends back.

Party's still on
at my place.

No can do, Savannah.

I've already made
an appointment

for my hand to be
henna tattooed.

My party's going to be
so much more fun than this.

Hey, check it out!

The contortionist is squeezing
into a vacuum cleaner bag.

( kids yelling with excitement )

Well, since your party's a bust,

you probably don't have
anything better to do.

So if you want to stay,

I won't kick you out.

Uh... thanks.

My staying would give
this party an edge.

Attention, everyone!

The pre-course
of the first course

of a fabulous eight-course meal
is about to be served,

so take your seats.

Oh, is that where
the cool kids are sitting?

Uh-huh.

Sorry, Savannah,
those seats are taken.

By who?

Some cool kids.

Is she pointing
at us

or do I have
something

hanging out
of my nose?

Both.

We scan on Angelica's cool-dar?

Get up there.

It's just that our long history
together compelled us to act.

But our history
is me yelling at you guys.

And that got us...
right here.

( squeaking )

( jabbering )

( quacking, boing )

( Dil squeaking )... I mean,
( squeaks louder )