Alias Smith and Jones (1971–1973): Season 2, Episode 11 - Shootout at Diablo Station - full transcript
Heyes and Curry are among seven people ambushed by outlaws and held hostage in a way station. The leader of the gang, knowing Heyes are Curry are in touch with Sheriff Lom Trevors, politely outlines his plan to assassinate the sheriff when he comes looking for our heroes, in revenge for the death of his brother by Lom (actually, one of his deputies). The gang is prepared to wait a day and a night for Lom, forcing the group to do the same and try to think of ways to warn Lom before he gets bushwhacked. The mercurial leader (Neville Brand) is the biggest threat. The American flag outside the way station plays a key part in the plot.
The stage the leaves in about ten minutes.
I got us a couple of tickets.
Think we'll be alright, unless
that sheriff sees us together.
Lemme see that.
You can't read my writing.
Can you?
"To Lom Trevors, Sheriff, Porterville.
Dear Lom.
How is the governor feeling these days
about two of your closest friends?
We have not heard but hope he is feeling...
good...
because where they are it is very warm.
We are coming to Porterville to see
you about these two f..friends.
Signed: Joshua Smith and Thaddeus Jones."
Poetry!
Send it.
Okay.
You get a aboard, stranger.
I'll see you there.
Right.
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry
The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West
and in all the trains and banks
they robbed they never shot anyone.
This made our two latter-day
Robin Hoods very popular
with everyone
but the railroads and the banks.
There's one thing
we gotta get, Heyes.
What's that?
Out of this business.
The governor can't come flat out
and give you amnesty now
first you gotta prove you deserve it.
So, all we've got to do is
just stay out of trouble
until the governor figures
we deserve amnesty?
But in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?
Well, that's true
until then only you me and
the governor will know about it.
It'll be our secret.
That's a good deal?
I sure wish the governor let
a few more people in our secret.
By jingo, I've got it!
You know why I'm staring at you, don't you?
No, sir!
It's been gnawing at me ever since
we left that Bridefoot Station.
I knew I'd seen you somewhere
but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
But I got it now.
'Twas Yuma, wasn't it?
No.
Longhorn saloon. Yuma Arizona,
about a month-or-so back.
You and them three other gals.
Was you there too, Honey?
My sister and I are from Tucson.
We've never been to Yuma
and we certainly have
never been inside a saloon.
Longhorn saloon!
Remember me, George Fendler!?
The cattle buyer?
A minute or so, I'll call your name to mind.
Please! Our father was a judge in Tucson!
We're on our way to Porterville
to live with our uncle
- because our father died.
Well, if that's your story, Honey.
You stick to it.
But I pride myself on my memory,
and I remember that night
at the Longhorn saloon like it...
It's not polite to point.
Now, the lady says she's never been to Yuma,
and a gentleman usually takes a lady's word.
Nobody, grabs a-hold of me like that!
Nobody, tells me how to behave!
I just a minute, Mr. Fendler -
I think this gentleman has a good point.
Just for the good of all concerned,
let's forget about Yuma.
Evening, Hayfoot.
Evening, Ward.
Nice trip?
Yeah. I need a good long drink
of your good sweet water!
Well, don't you want me to help
you changes the horses first?
Naw-naw, just give me that drink.
I'll change the teams.
I want to be Porterville on time - for once.
Good.
Wait 'll they all get inside.
Here you are -
that will be $1.
A dollar?
I never pay more than $0.50.
All right.
Finish up, folks.
Moving on to Porterville.
If I'm gonna pay $1, I want a bigger glass.
Water's free, coffee two cents a cup,
liquor's spoil your liver.
Your coffee is rotten!
So is your liver.
Hi.
Nobody move.
Speak up now, if I get this too tight.
Uh...excuse me...
I don't want this to sound like
I'm butting in or anything -
my name is Jones.
Thaddeus Jones.
Can you tell us how long this is gonna take?
Hey, what do you think you're going?
I'm going on bring in that flag.
It's against the law to fly it after sunset.
We'll bring it in.
You know how?
What do you mean, 'how'?
You knew how, you wouldn't ask.
It's gotta be done properly.
I said, we'll bring it in.
Mister, I'm gonna retrieve that flag.
I've honored it on 18 fields of battle,
in 3 wars so...
don't waste your bullets trying to scare me.
But if you want to, go ahead, gun me down.
I can't think of no better reason for dying.
Go with 'im, Bud.
I'm gonna tell you fellas just in case
you don't know about it
this line don't carry nothing.
Ain't nothing in here worth it's stealing.
Windows all fixed.
Unless is one of these folks is
worth a heavy ransom,
you hat-racks is digging
yourself a deep dry hole.
Now what, boys, I got some
cash you can have it.
A couple hundred dollars.
That much for 6 or 7 people?
Well, I was only dealing for myself.
Well, what price you put on
these little ladies then?
There's no price tag on my wife, Mister.
Which one is your wife?
The lady in the white blouse.
That's your wife, huh?
Yes, sir.
That's Mrs. Smith.
My name is Joshua Smith.
What about you?
Jones, like I told you before.
And that's my wife down there.
That's Mrs. Jones.
Well, now we don't aim to rob you.
We don't aim to sell you for ransom.
But we're gonna be here, well,
'cause we gotta wait for something
that's gonna happen.
Do you mind if I ask you just
when this happening is due to happen?
Well, I'd say about noon tomorrow.
Noon tomorrow?!
That's right.
So let's all be nice and easy and...
don't do nothing stupid.
And you folks will be on your way.
But I...I've got business in Porterville.
I gotta get there tonight.
Oh, that's rotten coffee.
I told you it was rotten.
He's...got some liquor
over there under the sink.
Hey, get that liquor out, Bud.
I got some other information you could use.
What information?
Well, I'd want to make a trade for it.
Yeah, you want me to turn you lose, right?
You're making your play,
I want to make mine.
I got business in Porterville tonight.
How you aiming to get there?
On a horse.
I was never on that stage.
I've never been in this place before.
I never seen these people.
I ride into Porterville
2 or 3 hours from now,
I transect my business and I'm on my way.
That don't sound too unreasonable.
What's this information you want to trade?
The two fellas Smith and Jones...
they are liars.
They say they're Smith and Jones and
Mrs. Smith and Jones,
but I don't believe it.
We all got on that stage together back
at the Bridefoot station.
Isn't that right?
That's right.
I got on and Jones,
and then Smith; he was almost too late.
But them gals was already on board!
They claimed to be sisters but...
I knew that one in Yuma.
She used to work in the Longhorn saloon.
Is he telling the truth?
No, he isn't!
We are sisters;
I told him the truth!
Our mother died when we were children,
and now our father, too.
We have never been near a saloon.
It's all right, didn't really matter.
But it does!
Can't you see we're helpless by ourselves?
Can't you understand that?
I thought they were just saloon gals,
but that this one here's a
really good little actress.
Oh, Ellen, forget it.
Could I have some of that
whiskey over there?
The Longhorns saloon, Jones!
Remember I told you so?
Why'd you say you were married?
I just thought it would be
safer for the ladies, that's all.
Now what about it, Chuck?
What about what?
On about let me go.
Did I say I'd let him go?
Oh, come on now, Chuck!
You're not gonna welch on me!
We had a bargain!
A bargain.
Put you on a horse and let you
ride to the nearest ranch
and send a bunch of gunhands over here, huh?
No, no, no.
I'd keep on going...
You bet your yellow-belly
you'd keep on going.
But you'd sure-as-hell send trouble to me.
No, no, you got me wrong!
I got you right, you suck-egg dog!
You sat there and sold
these young ladies out;
and you do the same to me or anybody else.
I tell you they're just saloon girls!
Shut your mouth, your slimy welching mouth,
or else I'll spread you all over that wall!
Jeez, I despise a man that
makes me lose my temper!
Hey, general, you got any grub around here?
Oh, I might just cook up a meal,
if you cut me loose!
Just tell us where it's at:
one of us'll do the cooking.
What's so blasted funny?
Just the picture of you big hunks,
trying to do Woman's Work.
Hey, Chuck: why don't we
let her wrestle off the grub?
Why didn't somebody think about
that, before you tied me up?
All she needs loose, to cook, is her hands.
That shows how much you know about
what goes on in the kitchen.
Turn her loose.
Why doesn't somebody stop to
wonder where I'd go?
One place is just the same
as another for Ellie and me.
I want your shoes and your stockings.
All right.
But I want you to know
I have very tender feet.
If I step on a splitter...
I hope you can stand to see a lady cry.
You know...
you're a pretty good cook,
for a gal that don't do it regular.
Well, I'm glad you noticed.
We saw how a woman can fool you.
Can't we please untie her hands,
Chuck, so she can eat?
I'm spilling all over her dress.
All right, but just her hands.
Hey general?
There a deck of cards
around here somewheres?
Top of the dresser in my bedroom.
Thank you, Chuck.
For my hands.
You mind if I asked you a question?
You don't always have to ask,
if I mind if you ask.
Just what exactly is that you
men are waiting around here for?
What do you care what we're waiting for?
Well for one thing, I'd like to talk
or walk or do something,
to take my mind off my back side
which is commencing the protest.
What about mine?
Where are you going, grandpa?
Draft from that window has hit my arthritis.
I'd like to change seats.
All right.
Take the young lady's seat.
Hayfoot?
If there was anything peculiar
coming in on tomorrow's run
you'd know about it, wouldn't you?
Ain't nothing coming in
before tomorrow noon.
Nothing, huh?
Nothing before tomorrow noon!
You sure?
I'm sure, I'm sure.
Nobody coming in from Porterville?
Nobody!
This really sounds like this
could be fun, you know, when you
all sit around and think of places
where nobody's coming from.
Well, somebody's coming in from Porterville.
How would you know that?
Because something's supposed
to be there this evening, that ain't.
Us.
That's right.
Due to be there at 7:00.
By the time they realize
it something's wrong,
it's gonna be too late
to go out looking tonight.
Come sunup, that sheriff will
get up some gumption,
he's gonna come out
looking to see what happened.
And where do you think's the
first place he's gonna come to?
You made your point.
And what time do you think
he's gonna be here?
He said: you made your point!
And that's it?
That's it.
What's gonna happen when he gets here?
What's gonna happen when he gets here?
Look, is it Sheriff Lom Trevors
you're talking about?
What do you care,
what's gonna happen to 'im?
He's a friend of mine.
Well, well, well, is that so?
A friend of yours?
You like him, huh?
Yeah, he's a decent man.
Yeah, that's nice.
Then maybe you can give him a decent burial.
We're gonna kill him when he gets here;
that's what's gonna happen!
You're gonna kill a man?
A sheriff, honey,
it ain't the same.
You want to know why
we're gonna kill Lom Trevors?
Because a man in his custody,
Ambrose Gorman, was killed
attempting escape.
That means shot in the back
in cold rotten blood
by a rotten rattlesnake whelp!
And Lom Trevors are gonna get the same.
He's gonna come here so close
we can't miss him.
Lom Trevors is gonna get what he gave.
'Cause Ambrose Gorman was my brother.
You say he shot him in the back, huh?
I don't believe you.
If Trevors was gonna kill him,
he wouldn't have to kill him that way.
You like him real well.
Now that's nice
he won't die friendless.
Deal the cards, Hank.
We've gonna stop this lunatic.
If he kills Lom our amnesty's dead.
Got any suggestion?
No.
Neither do I.
What are you saying, Hank?
Your 25 cents.
25 cents.
What kind of a bet is that?
Why don't you make it a dollar?
All right.
A dollar.
What about you, Chuck?
Oh, I call.
Well, I see your dollar.
I raise you a dollar.
Well, I see your dollar.
I raise you five.
What about you, Chuck?
Oh, I pass.
You're smart, Hank.
Yeah.
You're darn smart,
but I think I got you whupped!
I thought so.
Hey Chuck, how long I've gotta stand here?
Oh, Hank get the window a while, will you?
We'll take two-hour pulls.
I'll do mine when I come back.
Mary?!
Would you ask Chuck to untie my feet?
One thing at a time, my dear.
Longhorn saloon, Jones!
Remember?
It's your deal, Harry.
I don't play cards;
it's sinful, you know that.
And can't just sit down and play
like you don't mean it?
Just to keep me company?
I don't play: you know that.
Look at all the money that Hank won.
Come on.
It's all yours right here.
But I don't play. Only solitaire.
All right.
Let's play double solitaire.
Well, where's the other deck?
Yeah, well...
I'll get some rest.
Harry! Light somewheres, will you!
Don't you think they've been
in here a good long while?
All depends.
Bud?
Yeah.
Don't you think they've been
in there a good long while?
Yeah.
Sure, sure.
Why don't you sit down?
I wish you so.
It's kind of got me worried.
They've been in there a good long while.
I think somebody ought to check.
Not me: I'm on duty.
Bud?
I think somebody ought to check.
If you want to check,
then you go ahead and check.
But I ain't gonna go check.
Well, I'm kind of worried.
I'm gonna check.
Chuck?
Chuck?
It's Harry.
Come in and close the door.
I don't know how hard I
have to pull this trigger, Harry,
but I'm nervous and I'm scared,
so don't take any chances with me...
Turn around.
Lie down.
Face down.
Freeze, lady!
Drop the guns.
Do it!
All right, Chuck, Harry,
there's no guns on you now.
You can get up.
All right, Bud!
Tie her up.
And the other one, too -
and I mean tight!
What she hit you with, Chuck?
Shut up and help tie 'em up, would you!
How'd she managed to get
the drop on you, Harry?
I thought Chuck was in there.
I mean...
well, I never knew she'd laid him out!
You're lucky I didn't kill you.
You're real lucky.
Oh, it could have been
the other way around, Chuck.
She had the gun.
All right!
Bud, take the window.
Hank, the table.
Harry, come with me!
Get on that bed and stay awake.
If anybody gets past me, you shoot!
Now, if anybody in here moves
the man on lookout's gonna shoot!
I don't mind at all leaving
seven dead bodies in here,
the next time somebody crosses me up!
Hey, Bud.
Hey, wake up!
I'm awake!
I've been standing here for
half a minute; you were asleep.
Well, maybe I dozed off
for a second, but that's all.
All right, all right,
go over to that chair in front of that door
I'll take over here.
One of them's gone!
One of them's gone!
Where is he?
Uh, who?
Where is who?
Go find him!
'Where's who', you know. Now, where is he?
What's the matter?
What's the matter? You know
what's the matter! Now, where is he?
By golly! Where's Mr. Jones?
It don't make sense.
Every one of them windows
is still bolted from the inside.
You stupid honkin'...
You were asleep!
He never got past...
How would you know?
All right, you want to try it. Go on!
That's the only window
that could have been opened.
All right, let me see somebody get past me!
Let me see somebody go out this window!
Well, come on!
Then shut up!
And keep your mouth shut!
All right, all right. Now don't get excited!
Don't get excited and put that gun away.
Besides...
he would have taken my rifle!
If he was leaving,
he wouldn't needed a rifle.
He tried near some place hidden.
Where's the cellar, grandpa?
Ain't no cellar.
This place sits on bedrock.
If you want to cut into the roof,
go ahead. You'll find
there ain't no loft there neither.
That don't make sense the
way it looks, we all know that.
You folks gonna make out like
you was sound asleep, huh?
You got no idea what happened.
You're the fellow with all
the information, George.
You see what the plan was, don't you?
Make us think that he'd
gone off to warn that sheriff.
So that we get out of here.
Ain't that the plan, George?
So that we get out in a hurry, huh?
Do you know what happened?
Tell me...
He's here somewhere, I know
he is, he couldn't gotten out.
And I'm guessing you want to
get out of here alive, George.
So you say where he's at
and I'll cut your ropes
...instead of your throat.
I ain't messing around with you, George.
All right.
I'll tell you what.
Well, I know...
I know that Jones got loose
with four stupid gunheads
looking right up his nose.
But that's all I know!
Chuck, if there's any place in here to hide,
there's only one person
that would know about it.
...the general.
What if the sheriff doesn't come,
your stupid gunheads?
You're leaving dead bodies lying around?
It's stupid!
Hi, grandpa.
You'll hang every one of you!
Where's he at?
You got five seconds...
Oh, I'd shoot and be done with it.
One.
He doesn't know where he went either.
Two.
Three.
Four.
All right, hold it!
He won't shoot, you fool!
Never bet when the odds are against you.
Tell him.
Mr. Jones doesn't want you
to die, or anybody else.
If you don't tell him, I will!
All right.
All right.
In the wall, left of the fireplace.
Indian used to come through here.
I had to fix that place for my wife to hide.
God rest her.
Hi.
I was really hoping that you
boys would have left up by now.
Hank!
What's so funny?
I don't lose much love
for Mr. Fendler, over there,
but he sure pegged you
'gunheads' right. You're stupid.
And just exactly what are you talking about?
Well, last night grandpa was
telling me that this here sheriff -
what's your friend's name?
Trevors.
Lom Trevors.
Yeah, Sheriff Lom Trevors he...
he knows this place like
the back of his hand.
Ain't that right, Hayfoot?
Well...
He camps here, time and again.
I'll bet you money that he knows
there's trouble admitted,
he sees there's no flag up there
on that pole outside.
You knotheaded boob!
Why do you think I make such a fuss
about taking it down last night?
You talk about being stupid
why couldn't you kept your mouth shut?
You just signed Trevors
death warrants, Smith.
No, no, wait a minute
I didn't know that you...
You just proved that you're 10
times dumber than any of them
and you ought to be proud of yourself.
That was our last chance!
The flag not being there.
Hey...I'm sorry fellas...
I just didn't think about it that way.
Harry, get the flag.
He ain't know nothing about run up a flag.
Don't let him do it.
Oh, it's too late anyway.
Got to be run up by sunrise.
No, it's not too late.
It's gotta be done proper, too.
Took down slow and run up brisk.
Well then, shut up, Hayfoot.
Let him do it! Just...
Hold on, Harry.
Why does Harry have to do it?
Why not?
Bud, untie the general.
What difference does it make,
as long as it's run up?
No difference at all:
unless Lom Trevors is already
out there somewheres,
just to watch at that empty flagpole
and waiting for some stranger
like Harry there to run it up?
You're going out there, general.
Just like every day,
except you're gonna have
four guns on your back.
Just do the flag and come back.
I see one thing I don't like, you die.
Thank you, Smith.
Like what you see, Mr. Fendler?
Yes, ma'am.
I didn't mean to stare.
I just like to say,
if we ever get out of this I'll...
never forget you two - and I'll...
never forget the way I treated you and
rotten things I said.
To a pair of saloon girls?
Doesn't make any difference.
As far as I'm concerned you...
well, you...
you put me to shame, more ways than one...
You got any last words,
George, you just said them.
I don't want nobody shouting no warnings!
Chuck!
There's only three up!
Never mind the back, boys.
Take the door and the other window.
And wait 'till they get real close!
What's going on?
Can you hear me in there?
This is Sheriff Lom Trevors speaking.
You understand in there you're
completely surrounded.
All right.
There's nothing wrong in here.
What do you want?
Nothing much.
Just come on out with your hands up.
Hold it, Trevors!
You just hold it right there.
I'm holding.
We got seven people in here.
Let one of us go to the barn
and get our horses.
Will ride off: no I'm done.
I'll suppose and I say 'no deal'?
Then these folks in here start dying.
One by one.
We ain't hurt nobody yet!
Well, I guess, I'll just send a deputy
in there to check on that.
Wait a minute!
We got a man here
claims he's a friend of yours...
Let him tell you.
There's nobody hurt in here.
Lom...?
This is Thaddeus Jones.
You remember me?
Hey, Jones.
They holding a gun on you?
Yeah, it's four of them.
But they're telling the truth.
I got the stationmaster here,
driver, a couple of women,
Mr. Fendler and a fella named Smith and me.
We're all trussed up like Christmas turkeys,
Lom, but we're all right.
All right, whoever you are,
you're gonna have your horses and go.
Why'd you do this exactly like I tell you.
If you come on out,
holding your guns by the barrels.
Over your heads.
And I mean high.
One man at a time.
Hank, where did you hide their guns?
Over here.
Get 'em!
All right, first man.
Second man, your wait 'till I holler.
Harry, out.
All right, pitch your guns - hard.
All right, second man.
Pitch the guns.
First man, keep those hands up.
Come on get your horses.
Remember you're covered all the way.
All right - third man come on out
and throw your guns.
Keep those hands up.
All right now - throw your guns.
All right, last man.
How'd you know we were in there waiting?
I didn't.
You knew something was wrong?
Sure!
I know old Hayfoot it wouldn't be
flying that flag upside down
unless he was in trouble.
That old bear...
LOM!
WATCH OUT!
Yeah, I still can't figure out whether
you were smart enough to
figure out that whole deal with the flag
or just dumb enough to nearly get us killed.
I've been wondering that myself.
I was hoping Hayfoot to bail me out.
You knowed what you was up to.
So did I,
when you've given out that bushwah
about the sheriff camping here...
ain't seen him in two years.
What you've done if there's no flag, Lom?
Well, I'd have rode on in,
got my head shot off.
Be the wrong man, too:
it's a deputy of mine that
Gorman's brother pulled a gun on.
Deputy's still bad off.
Sheriff?
Stage is ready.
Your posse's coming back in.
Well, looks like they got 'em all.
You boys 've done me a real good turn.
We're hoping, you'd see it that way.
Hope I see you ladies again sometimes.
We'll wait here 'till the stage
comes back from Porterville.
Remember Mary, you're both welcome
to stay with me, as you planned.
Well that's very kind of
you, uncle Bart, but...
we've known from the beginning
what a burden we'd be.
No.
We felt, because of the way dad
took such good care of us, that we
never learned to fend for ourselves.
We found something out since yesterday
that we didn't know when we left home.
We can take care of ourselves.
Or at least each other.
What about our amnesty, Lom?
Not yet, boys.
The governor really believes you're trying.
But he'd be committing political suicide
if he was to give it to you now.
You're just gonna have to keep on trying.
Are you sure that Tucson is the...
Tucson is our home, uncle Bart.
It's where our lives have always been.
We want to go back.
We'll be all right now.
Well, keep in touch.
I'll be working on it.
Yeah.
Cowboys these ain't much, but they'll go.
Well, we'll send them back to you, Hayfoot,
or send you some money for 'em: one or two.
So long, Lom!
Bye-bye!
Good-bye, ladies.
Good luck.
You keep that flag flying, Hayfoot.
I got us a couple of tickets.
Think we'll be alright, unless
that sheriff sees us together.
Lemme see that.
You can't read my writing.
Can you?
"To Lom Trevors, Sheriff, Porterville.
Dear Lom.
How is the governor feeling these days
about two of your closest friends?
We have not heard but hope he is feeling...
good...
because where they are it is very warm.
We are coming to Porterville to see
you about these two f..friends.
Signed: Joshua Smith and Thaddeus Jones."
Poetry!
Send it.
Okay.
You get a aboard, stranger.
I'll see you there.
Right.
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry
The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West
and in all the trains and banks
they robbed they never shot anyone.
This made our two latter-day
Robin Hoods very popular
with everyone
but the railroads and the banks.
There's one thing
we gotta get, Heyes.
What's that?
Out of this business.
The governor can't come flat out
and give you amnesty now
first you gotta prove you deserve it.
So, all we've got to do is
just stay out of trouble
until the governor figures
we deserve amnesty?
But in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?
Well, that's true
until then only you me and
the governor will know about it.
It'll be our secret.
That's a good deal?
I sure wish the governor let
a few more people in our secret.
By jingo, I've got it!
You know why I'm staring at you, don't you?
No, sir!
It's been gnawing at me ever since
we left that Bridefoot Station.
I knew I'd seen you somewhere
but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
But I got it now.
'Twas Yuma, wasn't it?
No.
Longhorn saloon. Yuma Arizona,
about a month-or-so back.
You and them three other gals.
Was you there too, Honey?
My sister and I are from Tucson.
We've never been to Yuma
and we certainly have
never been inside a saloon.
Longhorn saloon!
Remember me, George Fendler!?
The cattle buyer?
A minute or so, I'll call your name to mind.
Please! Our father was a judge in Tucson!
We're on our way to Porterville
to live with our uncle
- because our father died.
Well, if that's your story, Honey.
You stick to it.
But I pride myself on my memory,
and I remember that night
at the Longhorn saloon like it...
It's not polite to point.
Now, the lady says she's never been to Yuma,
and a gentleman usually takes a lady's word.
Nobody, grabs a-hold of me like that!
Nobody, tells me how to behave!
I just a minute, Mr. Fendler -
I think this gentleman has a good point.
Just for the good of all concerned,
let's forget about Yuma.
Evening, Hayfoot.
Evening, Ward.
Nice trip?
Yeah. I need a good long drink
of your good sweet water!
Well, don't you want me to help
you changes the horses first?
Naw-naw, just give me that drink.
I'll change the teams.
I want to be Porterville on time - for once.
Good.
Wait 'll they all get inside.
Here you are -
that will be $1.
A dollar?
I never pay more than $0.50.
All right.
Finish up, folks.
Moving on to Porterville.
If I'm gonna pay $1, I want a bigger glass.
Water's free, coffee two cents a cup,
liquor's spoil your liver.
Your coffee is rotten!
So is your liver.
Hi.
Nobody move.
Speak up now, if I get this too tight.
Uh...excuse me...
I don't want this to sound like
I'm butting in or anything -
my name is Jones.
Thaddeus Jones.
Can you tell us how long this is gonna take?
Hey, what do you think you're going?
I'm going on bring in that flag.
It's against the law to fly it after sunset.
We'll bring it in.
You know how?
What do you mean, 'how'?
You knew how, you wouldn't ask.
It's gotta be done properly.
I said, we'll bring it in.
Mister, I'm gonna retrieve that flag.
I've honored it on 18 fields of battle,
in 3 wars so...
don't waste your bullets trying to scare me.
But if you want to, go ahead, gun me down.
I can't think of no better reason for dying.
Go with 'im, Bud.
I'm gonna tell you fellas just in case
you don't know about it
this line don't carry nothing.
Ain't nothing in here worth it's stealing.
Windows all fixed.
Unless is one of these folks is
worth a heavy ransom,
you hat-racks is digging
yourself a deep dry hole.
Now what, boys, I got some
cash you can have it.
A couple hundred dollars.
That much for 6 or 7 people?
Well, I was only dealing for myself.
Well, what price you put on
these little ladies then?
There's no price tag on my wife, Mister.
Which one is your wife?
The lady in the white blouse.
That's your wife, huh?
Yes, sir.
That's Mrs. Smith.
My name is Joshua Smith.
What about you?
Jones, like I told you before.
And that's my wife down there.
That's Mrs. Jones.
Well, now we don't aim to rob you.
We don't aim to sell you for ransom.
But we're gonna be here, well,
'cause we gotta wait for something
that's gonna happen.
Do you mind if I ask you just
when this happening is due to happen?
Well, I'd say about noon tomorrow.
Noon tomorrow?!
That's right.
So let's all be nice and easy and...
don't do nothing stupid.
And you folks will be on your way.
But I...I've got business in Porterville.
I gotta get there tonight.
Oh, that's rotten coffee.
I told you it was rotten.
He's...got some liquor
over there under the sink.
Hey, get that liquor out, Bud.
I got some other information you could use.
What information?
Well, I'd want to make a trade for it.
Yeah, you want me to turn you lose, right?
You're making your play,
I want to make mine.
I got business in Porterville tonight.
How you aiming to get there?
On a horse.
I was never on that stage.
I've never been in this place before.
I never seen these people.
I ride into Porterville
2 or 3 hours from now,
I transect my business and I'm on my way.
That don't sound too unreasonable.
What's this information you want to trade?
The two fellas Smith and Jones...
they are liars.
They say they're Smith and Jones and
Mrs. Smith and Jones,
but I don't believe it.
We all got on that stage together back
at the Bridefoot station.
Isn't that right?
That's right.
I got on and Jones,
and then Smith; he was almost too late.
But them gals was already on board!
They claimed to be sisters but...
I knew that one in Yuma.
She used to work in the Longhorn saloon.
Is he telling the truth?
No, he isn't!
We are sisters;
I told him the truth!
Our mother died when we were children,
and now our father, too.
We have never been near a saloon.
It's all right, didn't really matter.
But it does!
Can't you see we're helpless by ourselves?
Can't you understand that?
I thought they were just saloon gals,
but that this one here's a
really good little actress.
Oh, Ellen, forget it.
Could I have some of that
whiskey over there?
The Longhorns saloon, Jones!
Remember I told you so?
Why'd you say you were married?
I just thought it would be
safer for the ladies, that's all.
Now what about it, Chuck?
What about what?
On about let me go.
Did I say I'd let him go?
Oh, come on now, Chuck!
You're not gonna welch on me!
We had a bargain!
A bargain.
Put you on a horse and let you
ride to the nearest ranch
and send a bunch of gunhands over here, huh?
No, no, no.
I'd keep on going...
You bet your yellow-belly
you'd keep on going.
But you'd sure-as-hell send trouble to me.
No, no, you got me wrong!
I got you right, you suck-egg dog!
You sat there and sold
these young ladies out;
and you do the same to me or anybody else.
I tell you they're just saloon girls!
Shut your mouth, your slimy welching mouth,
or else I'll spread you all over that wall!
Jeez, I despise a man that
makes me lose my temper!
Hey, general, you got any grub around here?
Oh, I might just cook up a meal,
if you cut me loose!
Just tell us where it's at:
one of us'll do the cooking.
What's so blasted funny?
Just the picture of you big hunks,
trying to do Woman's Work.
Hey, Chuck: why don't we
let her wrestle off the grub?
Why didn't somebody think about
that, before you tied me up?
All she needs loose, to cook, is her hands.
That shows how much you know about
what goes on in the kitchen.
Turn her loose.
Why doesn't somebody stop to
wonder where I'd go?
One place is just the same
as another for Ellie and me.
I want your shoes and your stockings.
All right.
But I want you to know
I have very tender feet.
If I step on a splitter...
I hope you can stand to see a lady cry.
You know...
you're a pretty good cook,
for a gal that don't do it regular.
Well, I'm glad you noticed.
We saw how a woman can fool you.
Can't we please untie her hands,
Chuck, so she can eat?
I'm spilling all over her dress.
All right, but just her hands.
Hey general?
There a deck of cards
around here somewheres?
Top of the dresser in my bedroom.
Thank you, Chuck.
For my hands.
You mind if I asked you a question?
You don't always have to ask,
if I mind if you ask.
Just what exactly is that you
men are waiting around here for?
What do you care what we're waiting for?
Well for one thing, I'd like to talk
or walk or do something,
to take my mind off my back side
which is commencing the protest.
What about mine?
Where are you going, grandpa?
Draft from that window has hit my arthritis.
I'd like to change seats.
All right.
Take the young lady's seat.
Hayfoot?
If there was anything peculiar
coming in on tomorrow's run
you'd know about it, wouldn't you?
Ain't nothing coming in
before tomorrow noon.
Nothing, huh?
Nothing before tomorrow noon!
You sure?
I'm sure, I'm sure.
Nobody coming in from Porterville?
Nobody!
This really sounds like this
could be fun, you know, when you
all sit around and think of places
where nobody's coming from.
Well, somebody's coming in from Porterville.
How would you know that?
Because something's supposed
to be there this evening, that ain't.
Us.
That's right.
Due to be there at 7:00.
By the time they realize
it something's wrong,
it's gonna be too late
to go out looking tonight.
Come sunup, that sheriff will
get up some gumption,
he's gonna come out
looking to see what happened.
And where do you think's the
first place he's gonna come to?
You made your point.
And what time do you think
he's gonna be here?
He said: you made your point!
And that's it?
That's it.
What's gonna happen when he gets here?
What's gonna happen when he gets here?
Look, is it Sheriff Lom Trevors
you're talking about?
What do you care,
what's gonna happen to 'im?
He's a friend of mine.
Well, well, well, is that so?
A friend of yours?
You like him, huh?
Yeah, he's a decent man.
Yeah, that's nice.
Then maybe you can give him a decent burial.
We're gonna kill him when he gets here;
that's what's gonna happen!
You're gonna kill a man?
A sheriff, honey,
it ain't the same.
You want to know why
we're gonna kill Lom Trevors?
Because a man in his custody,
Ambrose Gorman, was killed
attempting escape.
That means shot in the back
in cold rotten blood
by a rotten rattlesnake whelp!
And Lom Trevors are gonna get the same.
He's gonna come here so close
we can't miss him.
Lom Trevors is gonna get what he gave.
'Cause Ambrose Gorman was my brother.
You say he shot him in the back, huh?
I don't believe you.
If Trevors was gonna kill him,
he wouldn't have to kill him that way.
You like him real well.
Now that's nice
he won't die friendless.
Deal the cards, Hank.
We've gonna stop this lunatic.
If he kills Lom our amnesty's dead.
Got any suggestion?
No.
Neither do I.
What are you saying, Hank?
Your 25 cents.
25 cents.
What kind of a bet is that?
Why don't you make it a dollar?
All right.
A dollar.
What about you, Chuck?
Oh, I call.
Well, I see your dollar.
I raise you a dollar.
Well, I see your dollar.
I raise you five.
What about you, Chuck?
Oh, I pass.
You're smart, Hank.
Yeah.
You're darn smart,
but I think I got you whupped!
I thought so.
Hey Chuck, how long I've gotta stand here?
Oh, Hank get the window a while, will you?
We'll take two-hour pulls.
I'll do mine when I come back.
Mary?!
Would you ask Chuck to untie my feet?
One thing at a time, my dear.
Longhorn saloon, Jones!
Remember?
It's your deal, Harry.
I don't play cards;
it's sinful, you know that.
And can't just sit down and play
like you don't mean it?
Just to keep me company?
I don't play: you know that.
Look at all the money that Hank won.
Come on.
It's all yours right here.
But I don't play. Only solitaire.
All right.
Let's play double solitaire.
Well, where's the other deck?
Yeah, well...
I'll get some rest.
Harry! Light somewheres, will you!
Don't you think they've been
in here a good long while?
All depends.
Bud?
Yeah.
Don't you think they've been
in there a good long while?
Yeah.
Sure, sure.
Why don't you sit down?
I wish you so.
It's kind of got me worried.
They've been in there a good long while.
I think somebody ought to check.
Not me: I'm on duty.
Bud?
I think somebody ought to check.
If you want to check,
then you go ahead and check.
But I ain't gonna go check.
Well, I'm kind of worried.
I'm gonna check.
Chuck?
Chuck?
It's Harry.
Come in and close the door.
I don't know how hard I
have to pull this trigger, Harry,
but I'm nervous and I'm scared,
so don't take any chances with me...
Turn around.
Lie down.
Face down.
Freeze, lady!
Drop the guns.
Do it!
All right, Chuck, Harry,
there's no guns on you now.
You can get up.
All right, Bud!
Tie her up.
And the other one, too -
and I mean tight!
What she hit you with, Chuck?
Shut up and help tie 'em up, would you!
How'd she managed to get
the drop on you, Harry?
I thought Chuck was in there.
I mean...
well, I never knew she'd laid him out!
You're lucky I didn't kill you.
You're real lucky.
Oh, it could have been
the other way around, Chuck.
She had the gun.
All right!
Bud, take the window.
Hank, the table.
Harry, come with me!
Get on that bed and stay awake.
If anybody gets past me, you shoot!
Now, if anybody in here moves
the man on lookout's gonna shoot!
I don't mind at all leaving
seven dead bodies in here,
the next time somebody crosses me up!
Hey, Bud.
Hey, wake up!
I'm awake!
I've been standing here for
half a minute; you were asleep.
Well, maybe I dozed off
for a second, but that's all.
All right, all right,
go over to that chair in front of that door
I'll take over here.
One of them's gone!
One of them's gone!
Where is he?
Uh, who?
Where is who?
Go find him!
'Where's who', you know. Now, where is he?
What's the matter?
What's the matter? You know
what's the matter! Now, where is he?
By golly! Where's Mr. Jones?
It don't make sense.
Every one of them windows
is still bolted from the inside.
You stupid honkin'...
You were asleep!
He never got past...
How would you know?
All right, you want to try it. Go on!
That's the only window
that could have been opened.
All right, let me see somebody get past me!
Let me see somebody go out this window!
Well, come on!
Then shut up!
And keep your mouth shut!
All right, all right. Now don't get excited!
Don't get excited and put that gun away.
Besides...
he would have taken my rifle!
If he was leaving,
he wouldn't needed a rifle.
He tried near some place hidden.
Where's the cellar, grandpa?
Ain't no cellar.
This place sits on bedrock.
If you want to cut into the roof,
go ahead. You'll find
there ain't no loft there neither.
That don't make sense the
way it looks, we all know that.
You folks gonna make out like
you was sound asleep, huh?
You got no idea what happened.
You're the fellow with all
the information, George.
You see what the plan was, don't you?
Make us think that he'd
gone off to warn that sheriff.
So that we get out of here.
Ain't that the plan, George?
So that we get out in a hurry, huh?
Do you know what happened?
Tell me...
He's here somewhere, I know
he is, he couldn't gotten out.
And I'm guessing you want to
get out of here alive, George.
So you say where he's at
and I'll cut your ropes
...instead of your throat.
I ain't messing around with you, George.
All right.
I'll tell you what.
Well, I know...
I know that Jones got loose
with four stupid gunheads
looking right up his nose.
But that's all I know!
Chuck, if there's any place in here to hide,
there's only one person
that would know about it.
...the general.
What if the sheriff doesn't come,
your stupid gunheads?
You're leaving dead bodies lying around?
It's stupid!
Hi, grandpa.
You'll hang every one of you!
Where's he at?
You got five seconds...
Oh, I'd shoot and be done with it.
One.
He doesn't know where he went either.
Two.
Three.
Four.
All right, hold it!
He won't shoot, you fool!
Never bet when the odds are against you.
Tell him.
Mr. Jones doesn't want you
to die, or anybody else.
If you don't tell him, I will!
All right.
All right.
In the wall, left of the fireplace.
Indian used to come through here.
I had to fix that place for my wife to hide.
God rest her.
Hi.
I was really hoping that you
boys would have left up by now.
Hank!
What's so funny?
I don't lose much love
for Mr. Fendler, over there,
but he sure pegged you
'gunheads' right. You're stupid.
And just exactly what are you talking about?
Well, last night grandpa was
telling me that this here sheriff -
what's your friend's name?
Trevors.
Lom Trevors.
Yeah, Sheriff Lom Trevors he...
he knows this place like
the back of his hand.
Ain't that right, Hayfoot?
Well...
He camps here, time and again.
I'll bet you money that he knows
there's trouble admitted,
he sees there's no flag up there
on that pole outside.
You knotheaded boob!
Why do you think I make such a fuss
about taking it down last night?
You talk about being stupid
why couldn't you kept your mouth shut?
You just signed Trevors
death warrants, Smith.
No, no, wait a minute
I didn't know that you...
You just proved that you're 10
times dumber than any of them
and you ought to be proud of yourself.
That was our last chance!
The flag not being there.
Hey...I'm sorry fellas...
I just didn't think about it that way.
Harry, get the flag.
He ain't know nothing about run up a flag.
Don't let him do it.
Oh, it's too late anyway.
Got to be run up by sunrise.
No, it's not too late.
It's gotta be done proper, too.
Took down slow and run up brisk.
Well then, shut up, Hayfoot.
Let him do it! Just...
Hold on, Harry.
Why does Harry have to do it?
Why not?
Bud, untie the general.
What difference does it make,
as long as it's run up?
No difference at all:
unless Lom Trevors is already
out there somewheres,
just to watch at that empty flagpole
and waiting for some stranger
like Harry there to run it up?
You're going out there, general.
Just like every day,
except you're gonna have
four guns on your back.
Just do the flag and come back.
I see one thing I don't like, you die.
Thank you, Smith.
Like what you see, Mr. Fendler?
Yes, ma'am.
I didn't mean to stare.
I just like to say,
if we ever get out of this I'll...
never forget you two - and I'll...
never forget the way I treated you and
rotten things I said.
To a pair of saloon girls?
Doesn't make any difference.
As far as I'm concerned you...
well, you...
you put me to shame, more ways than one...
You got any last words,
George, you just said them.
I don't want nobody shouting no warnings!
Chuck!
There's only three up!
Never mind the back, boys.
Take the door and the other window.
And wait 'till they get real close!
What's going on?
Can you hear me in there?
This is Sheriff Lom Trevors speaking.
You understand in there you're
completely surrounded.
All right.
There's nothing wrong in here.
What do you want?
Nothing much.
Just come on out with your hands up.
Hold it, Trevors!
You just hold it right there.
I'm holding.
We got seven people in here.
Let one of us go to the barn
and get our horses.
Will ride off: no I'm done.
I'll suppose and I say 'no deal'?
Then these folks in here start dying.
One by one.
We ain't hurt nobody yet!
Well, I guess, I'll just send a deputy
in there to check on that.
Wait a minute!
We got a man here
claims he's a friend of yours...
Let him tell you.
There's nobody hurt in here.
Lom...?
This is Thaddeus Jones.
You remember me?
Hey, Jones.
They holding a gun on you?
Yeah, it's four of them.
But they're telling the truth.
I got the stationmaster here,
driver, a couple of women,
Mr. Fendler and a fella named Smith and me.
We're all trussed up like Christmas turkeys,
Lom, but we're all right.
All right, whoever you are,
you're gonna have your horses and go.
Why'd you do this exactly like I tell you.
If you come on out,
holding your guns by the barrels.
Over your heads.
And I mean high.
One man at a time.
Hank, where did you hide their guns?
Over here.
Get 'em!
All right, first man.
Second man, your wait 'till I holler.
Harry, out.
All right, pitch your guns - hard.
All right, second man.
Pitch the guns.
First man, keep those hands up.
Come on get your horses.
Remember you're covered all the way.
All right - third man come on out
and throw your guns.
Keep those hands up.
All right now - throw your guns.
All right, last man.
How'd you know we were in there waiting?
I didn't.
You knew something was wrong?
Sure!
I know old Hayfoot it wouldn't be
flying that flag upside down
unless he was in trouble.
That old bear...
LOM!
WATCH OUT!
Yeah, I still can't figure out whether
you were smart enough to
figure out that whole deal with the flag
or just dumb enough to nearly get us killed.
I've been wondering that myself.
I was hoping Hayfoot to bail me out.
You knowed what you was up to.
So did I,
when you've given out that bushwah
about the sheriff camping here...
ain't seen him in two years.
What you've done if there's no flag, Lom?
Well, I'd have rode on in,
got my head shot off.
Be the wrong man, too:
it's a deputy of mine that
Gorman's brother pulled a gun on.
Deputy's still bad off.
Sheriff?
Stage is ready.
Your posse's coming back in.
Well, looks like they got 'em all.
You boys 've done me a real good turn.
We're hoping, you'd see it that way.
Hope I see you ladies again sometimes.
We'll wait here 'till the stage
comes back from Porterville.
Remember Mary, you're both welcome
to stay with me, as you planned.
Well that's very kind of
you, uncle Bart, but...
we've known from the beginning
what a burden we'd be.
No.
We felt, because of the way dad
took such good care of us, that we
never learned to fend for ourselves.
We found something out since yesterday
that we didn't know when we left home.
We can take care of ourselves.
Or at least each other.
What about our amnesty, Lom?
Not yet, boys.
The governor really believes you're trying.
But he'd be committing political suicide
if he was to give it to you now.
You're just gonna have to keep on trying.
Are you sure that Tucson is the...
Tucson is our home, uncle Bart.
It's where our lives have always been.
We want to go back.
We'll be all right now.
Well, keep in touch.
I'll be working on it.
Yeah.
Cowboys these ain't much, but they'll go.
Well, we'll send them back to you, Hayfoot,
or send you some money for 'em: one or two.
So long, Lom!
Bye-bye!
Good-bye, ladies.
Good luck.
You keep that flag flying, Hayfoot.