Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955–1962): Season 6, Episode 19 - The Landlady - full transcript

Billy Weaver's just moved to a small English village, and sees an advert for a room. The landlady's quite pleasant. He's perplexed when she later mentions two others are also staying; he's never seen nor heard of them before, so, who are these tenants?

Good evening.

This should be a
relatively simple task.

Nothing to it really.

I?m not really hungry but
I resent the implication,

that I haven't the self-control
to stay on my diet.

Tonight we have fried
chicken cold apple pie.

Potato salad, a story
entitled The Land Lady,

and one fast frozen commercial.

-It's a crime Tom just a crime.
-Of course Bert, but it was always a crime.

That's not what I mean,
man. And you know it.

It's sergeant Billings
I?m talking about.

-Why doesn't he take steps?
-Oh, he does his best.

I still think somebody ought
to call in Scotland Yard.

-They'd round up the gang.
-Gang, here in Barley?

Who said anything about a gang? Just
the work of one man like is not.

-The work he calls it -The way I see it,
we'd all best keep our eyes and ears open.

And if we notice
anything out of the way...

Excuse me lads.

-What can I get you sir?
-I?m just off the train I was wondering if I could get a bite to eat.

Well now we've only
got some cold beef.

I could make your sandwich.

That'll do nicely and a
pint of mild and bitter.

Right sir.

Freshy, Freshy.

-Yes mr Wilkins.
-Beef sandwich for the gentleman.

-Yes sir.
-Oh last drinks please.

-Same again.
-Oh I?ll have a mild and bitter.

-Thank you, cheers.
-There you are.

-What's up?
-It's jammed I can't get it open.

I won't be able to get a
locksmith until Monday.

Perhaps I can help.

This might do the trick.

Shall I have a try?

All right.

It's a Holloway register one of the
older models I think this ought to work.

There you are.

Much obliged.

Not at all.

What, did you see that? Opened it.

One two three easy as you please.

-Oh do come in.
-I saw the sign on your wall.

-Yes I know, I saw you looking in.
-I was wondering about a room.

I have one all ready for you
oh but please come in it,

must be chilly standing
outside on a night like this.

Yes thank you.

What if I might ask
how much you charge.

-Five and six a night including breakfast.
-Five and six?

Well now if that's a little bit too
much I could perhaps reduce it...

It's quite all right
that's very reasonable.

-Then you'll stay?
-I should like very much to stay, yes.

I knew you would the moment
I laid eyes on you I had a,

feeling, you know?

Well then off with your coat.

Oh just just hang it anywhere.

Will this be
all right here?

Well now come along upstairs
and I?ll show you your room.

You see we have it
all to ourselves.

It isn't very often that I have the pleasure
of taking a visitor into my little nest.

But your rates are so reasonable I should
think you'd be swamped with applicants.

Of course I am. The trouble is,

I?m just a teensy bit doozy and
particular if you know what I mean.

Ah yes of course. I understand there are
all sorts of strangers prowling about.

Even burglars.

Oh my dear boy who'd want
to harm an old body like me.

No, no, my dear it
isn't that at all.

You see I have a
feeling about people.

And I?m always ready to
welcome an acceptable type.

And it's such a pleasure
my dear boy such a very,

great pleasure when I see
someone who is exactly right,

like you.

Well here I am nattering away
when it's the room you want.

Come along.

-Yes this is very nice.
-Oh I?m so glad you liked it.

The morning sun comes right
in this window mr Perkins.

-It is mr Perkins isn't it?
-No it's Weaver.

Weaver yes.

Well just make
yourself comfy.

Oh if you care for anything before
you go to bed, perhaps a cup of tea?

Thank you very much not tonight.

Of course. We shall have
all day tomorrow for that.

Shall we?

I?m so glad you came. I was
beginning to get worried.

Dear mr Greenslade.

You were right and warning me that the Barley
folk might, be suspicious of strangers.

They've had a burglary scare.

I found a very nice place to stay
and the rates are quite reasonable.

My landlady seems a bit on the odd
side but she's very hospitable.

I shall report to the branch
manager bank on Monday morning.

And take over my clerical position.

Many thanks for
your recommendation.

Come in.

I do hope I?m not disturbing you.

-No not at all. I was just finishing a letter.
-Oh splendid.

-Let me post it for you. -Oh no that's
all right I can do it in the morning.

There's no need for you
to run out, I shall be,

popping around your morning
service quite early.

I brought the register
for you to sign.

Oh yes I forgot.

-Have you a pen, dear?

-Where should I sign?
-Just there.

Law of the land you know
and we don't want to go,

breaking any laws at this stage
of the proceedings, do we?

-That's odd.

There are two names on this page.

Christopher Mulholland.

-Gregory Temple.
-Such charming boys.

Those names sound awfully familiar I?m
sure I?ve heard them somewhere before.

Wow, interesting.

Isn't it queer the way
names sometimes ring a bell.

Christopher Mulholland
and Gregory Temple.

They weren't celebrated
in any way, were they?


Oh no dear I don't think so.

They were very
handsome both of them.

Like you.

I say this last entry before
mine it's almost two years old.

Oh, dear mehHw time does
fly away from us doesn't it?

Christopher Mulholland,
Gregory Temple

I?m I?m positive I?ve read those
names in a newspaper or somewhere

Not at the same time
but connected somehow.

Connected with something unpleasant.

Unpleasant? Oh no dear.

One thing you can be
certain of, my young men,

were never connected
with anything unpleasant.

Well pleasant dreams

-Everything all right?
-Splendid thank you.

Oh good.

...about rain, you won't want to go
out today. Not in weather like this.

I thought of going to the cinema.

Oh, best way to the rain stops, it
wouldn't do for you to catch a cold.

Oh dear no that would
never do at all.

But you've been
out haven't you?

-Oh I?m used to it.
-Did you remember to post my letter?

Oh I?m a great one for
remembering, if I do say it myself.

-More toast?
-No thank you.

-Do I wish my memory were better.
-Can I get you some jam?

No please, don't
bother this is fine.

Christopher Mulholland
and Gregory Temple.

-When did they leave here?

But they never left. They're
up on the third floor.

Both of them together.

But I seem to remember...

Didn't you tell me last
night that we were alone?

So we were dear.

They were out of the evening?

Well you know what young men are.

One guests we can keep track.

-Then they're here now?
-Well let's find out.

Shall we?

Here we are dear in the hall.

You see? They they did come back.

-I wasn't meaning to be inquisted.
-Oh of course not dear.

Well now I must fly, it's time
for our little get-together.

Oh, really?

Every Sunday afternoon
just the three of us.

I always play the old hymns.

Mr Temple's favorite is All
Things Bright and Beautiful.

What's your favorite him dear?

Hmm I really don't
have any preference.


I think everyone should.

Oh, you'll excuse me.

Christopher Muller.

Gregory Temple.

-Michael Rogan. -What's
that? -Michael Rogan.

That was the young man's name.

What man?

The one who's been breaking into all those
houses. They captured him last night.

I was tuning in on the wireless
in the kitchen and the news came over.

I thought that called
for a little celebration.

-Milk and sugar, dear? -It's
a little early for tea?

It's never too early
for a nice cup of tea.

You did say milk and
sugar didn't you dear?

Oh is that silly
registered in your way?

Oh no no.


I was just glancing at the guest
book at those two names again.

-Yes I thought perhaps...
-Perhaps what dear?

No no nothing I was mistaken.

-Oh wait a minute.

Christopher Mulholland
isn't that the name of the,

undergraduate who went on a
walking tour in the west country?

And disappeared.

Undergraduate? oh no dear I don't
think that can possibly be right.

Mr Mulholland was certainly not an
undergraduate when he came to me.

What come along dear drinke up.

-Aren't you having any?
-Oh yes yes indeed.

you know mr Mulholland was always
a great one for his cup of tea.

-Shouldn't you invite him down?
-I tell you what.

As soon as you finish
that we'll go up.

I think it's time
you met them both.

Could you could you give
me another lump of sugar?

Oh of course dear and
I?ll warm up your cup.

I was telling the boys all
about you this afternoon,

and they are so looking
forward to meeting you.

-So just finish that we'll go up.

-Perhaps they can tell me why their name
sounds so familiar. -Perhaps.

-How old are you dear?

22. Oh that's a perfect age mr

Mulholland was also
22 when he came here.

But I think that he was a
driver shorter than you.

Now mr Temple he was
actually a little older.

He was 25 but I never would have guessed
it if he hadn't told me, never in my life.

He hadn't a blemish
on him anywhere.

-He had a skin just like a baby's.

Do you know that parrot
had me completely fooled.

And I looked at it through
the window from the street.

-I thought it was
live. -Last no longer.

It's terribly clever
the way it's done.

Who did it?

I did.

Have you met my
little Betsel as well?

I thought it was asleep.

Appearances can be
deceptive can't they dear.

Yes it's so lifelike.

-It's awfully difficult to do.
-Oh, not in the least.

I stuff all my little
pets when they pass away.

Another cup of tea dear?

I think quite enough.


You did sign the
book didn't you dear?

The book?

-Oh yes. -Oh good because later on
if I forget what you were called,

I can always look it up. I do that almost
every day with mr Mulholland and mr...


Gregory Temple.

Are you sure there
haven't been any other?

Guess here, only two years.

No dear only you.

Stand now.

Well my pet time
to join the others.

So much for our tale of
the talkative taxidermist.

Now for a short soliloquy
from a super salesman.

After which a fast farewell
from a hungry host.

I don't understand it, but I seem
to have quite lost my appetite.

That looks real doesn't it?

It's not, it's stuffed
as for our dear landlady.

She was eventually caught,

over confidence and a
flare for exhibitionism.

Then her to make billy into a
throw rug for her entry hall.

It was excellent for
discouraging peddlers and agents.

But it was no way to keep a secret.

Next week we shall return with still
another story, until then, good night.