Adventure Time (2010–2018): Season 5, Episode 27 - Jakesuit - full transcript
Jake is sick and tired of Finn using his body as a suit of armor.
[Mouse squeaks]
[Penguins wenk]
[All cheering]
[Screeches]
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Yup!
Yeah, totally stuck
that landing!
Yeah! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Man, it's been so long
since I've worn the Jake suit.
I forgot how awesome
your bod is, bro.
Stretchy-arm power!
[Creak!]
I feel unstoppable!
[Roars]
Ba-a-a-a-m!
And I don't even feel it!
[Groans]
[Grunts]
Beemo, throw your plate at me.
Okay.
Hyah!
Yeah, Beemo, show me the stuff!
Keep it coming!
Hyah!
Yeah, Beemo, unleash
the beast!
Yeah!
Unleash the beast!
[Groans]
Come on, Beemo, bring it!
That's nothing!
[Growling]
You're weak, Beemo!
Rrrrrrrraah!
Ooh. Ooh.
Aah! Aah!
[Panting]
[Sighs]
You okay, Beemo?
I am no match
for the Jake suit.
That's right.
Dog, the Jake suit is
mad strong.
This junk can protect me
from anything.
JAKE: [muffled]
Uh, sort of.
Wait, bro, what are you
doing up here?
You know I'm not, like,
actual armor, right?
FINN:
Septuple flip off the tree house!
JAKE:
No-o-o-o-o!
- FINN: Whoo-hoo!
- JAKE: [grunts]
Ride 'em, cowboy!
Whoo!
[Gags, coughs]
[Panting]
Ohh...
Bam!
Huh... huh... huh...
[sighs]
You were a little rough with
the Jake suit today, bro.
You mashed up my doggy bag
pretty hard.
Why didn't you stop me?
When you're in my body,
it pushes out my brain,
so I have no control.
Come on, bro, taking
pain is easy.
You just have to imagine
that every bruise
is a hickey
from the universe.
And everyone wants to get
with the universe.
I bet you wouldn't
be saying that nonsense
if I wore you as a suit.
I bet I would be
saying that nonsense.
Okay, bro, let's see
how you like it.
I'll bring the pain.
Do it, bro.
Get in here.
[Grunts]
[Chuckles] Yes!
Time to bring the pain!
[Straining]
Huh?
[Chuckles]
Man, are you kidding?
[Grunts]
You give up?
You have to, like,
punch me in the face.
Hmm.
I thought I was.
This is hard.
I-I can't even make a fist.
How do you control my body
so well?
Dude, I'm graceful.
Mom raised me graceful.
[Grunts]
[Chuckles]
Dude, what the Bjork?
[Growls]
Hmm.
Aha! Here we go.
Dream Journal of a Boring Man,
Volume 12.
Uh, Jake, what are
you doing?
There's all kinds of
pain, Finn.
Jake, come on.
Don't do this.
[Sighing]
Ahh. Okay, let's see.
Ooh, this one looks good.
And it's not too long...
only seven pages.
[Chuckles]
Okay, here we go.
[Clears throat]
"In my dream, I was eating
jasmine rice,
but it was also brown rice,
and it was also
my mother."
Ohh.
[Snoring]
Huh?
What... where am I?
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Finn! How long
have I been out?
I don't know.
A couple hours.
Say what?
Why are you still reading?
It's actually not
that bad.
There's a bunch where
he knows he's dreaming.
Here... let me read you
a little.
"So, I said to the first guy,
'if everyone in my dream is me,
then you are me,'
and he said,
'I am who? '
And I said, 'Me.'
And he said, 'Who is me? '
And I said, 'You.'
And he said, 'What about you? '
And I said, 'No, you."'
- [Sighs]
"It's like he's trying to solve
a mystery that doesn't exist."
You want me to keep going?
No, I'm hungry.
Yeah, I'm hungry, too.
How about a truce while you go
make us some lunch?
Oh, I didn't know we
were allowed to call truces.
I'll totally remember that
the next time my doggy bag
is hurtling towards
a fence post.
You know, you could use the
opportunity of cooking me food
to mess with me.
[Gasps]
Wait a sec.
You just gave me an idea!
- Yeah?
- [Laughing evilly]
Uh-oh.
Oh, look out.
You gonna make me something
gross?
[Laughing continues]
Something spicy?
You know I can take it.
[Laughing continues]
Ta-da!
Meatloaf?
That's my favorite dish.
Mm-hmm.
[Chuckling]
What did you do to it?
I assure you,
it's delicious.
Okay, well, you're
really terrible at this.
[Chomp!]
Yummy.
Oh, that's just mean.
Admit you're wrong,
and you can have
some of this
delicious meatloaf.
No, I'm good.
[Chomping]
[Slurp!]
Mmm-hmm-hmm!
COMPUTER VOICE:
Special occasion.
Special occasion.
Special occasion.
Jake, that's my
special occasion phone.
Someone's calling me to tell me
about a special occasion.
So?
So, can you walk me over there?
I want to see who it is.
Hmph.
Special occasion.
Special occasion.
Oh, it's
Flame Princess.
[Chuckles]
I'll talk to her later.
I don't want you embarrassing
me, or, uh, anything.
Jake?
Jake, seriously,
don't do this.
- Tell me I win, dude.
- No, absolutely not.
All right.
Say goodbye to Flame Princess
thinking you're cool.
I'm gonna embarrass the Bjork
out of you.
Oh, hey, you came!
I got worried 'cause you didn't
answer special occasion phone.
- My relatives are waiting inside.
- What?
Well, that's why I called on
special occasion phone.
All my less-evil family members
are here for dinner.
Come eat.
[Laughing evilly]
Finn, this is my family.
These are my two younger
brothers,
my brother who's home
from the military,
and my judgmental
aunt and uncle.
[Jake laughing]
Jake, whatever
you're about to do,
please don't do it.
[All gasp]
[All gasp]
♪ I'm a tough tootin' baby
that can dance like a man ♪
♪ I can shake-ah my fanny ♪
♪ I can shake-ah my can ♪
♪ I'm a tough tootin' baby
that can punch-ah your buns ♪
♪ Punch-ah your buns ♪
♪ I can punch all your buns ♪
♪ If you're an evil witch,
I will punch you for fun ♪
What are you doing in front
of my family?!
Hold on, bro. Perhaps it's
a custom unknown to us.
Nope!
Just doing the kind of stuff
I do all the time.
This is a nightmare come
true for me, sister.
♪ Tough tootin' baby ♪
♪ Tough tootin'
baby ♪
What are you doing?!
Don't you want to see
more?
Oh, my Bjork!
No, I don't want to see more!
Wait, what's that
in your mouth?
Jake?
- Oops. Busted.
Are you controlling Finn?
Yeah, I'm causing
Finn pain.
We have a bet going on.
And you made him dance like
a baby, semi-nude,
in front of my
family?
Wow, that's pretty hard-core.
[Chuckles]
What?
[Chuckling] Good luck, Finn.
Hope you win.
- I will.
- Hmph!
[Gasps]
Hi, Lady.
Finn!
[Speaking Korean]
- I'm right here.
- Oh.
'Sup?
What's TV doing here?
I thought all the kids
found apartments.
[Speaking Korean]
[Chuckles]
That's my boy...
mama's basement baby.
[Sighs]
[Speaking Korean]
Oh, it's this bet
we're doing.
It's not really a bet.
It's more like a showdown.
I'm trying to get him to admit
that it's hard
when someone wears you
as a suit.
How do I win the bet, Lady?
TV:
Hey, Dad?
Why don't you try jumping
in a volcano?
[Keyboard clacking]
Hmm.
[Laughing evilly]
Yes!
So, what are we
doing, bro?
The universe is gonna have
a full-on make-out session
with you, bro...
I'm talking minimum
tier eight.
Behold!
[Wolves snarling]
Fire wolves?
That's your plan? Please.
Oh, no, bro.
That's just fortuitous
circumstance.
Allow me to take advantage.
Here, pup-pups.
You want some kibble?
You want steak flavor?
- Steaky-steaks?
- Aw, my kibble!
[Wolves snarling]
[Snarling stops]
[Wolves whimpering]
[Sizzle!]
[Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp!]
How you like it, bro?
Pretty painful, huh?
Eh, whatevs.
Ah, forget it.
Let's go.
[Wolves whimpering]
Hmm. Looks hot.
Oh, yeah, bro.
The pain train has arrived
at the station.
Choo! Choo!
I'm ready, bro!
Bring it!
You're nothing, lava!
You're a bum!
I can handle you!
Look, just say, "stop,"
and you won't get burned.
Never!
Okay, bro.
This'll pretty much wreck up
your whole life,
so think about it.
Bring it!
Yeah, baby, feels good!
Love it!
Loving that heat on my skull!
Okay, I'm gonna lower
you some more.
It's probably gonna cook up
your brain.
Oh, yeah, give it to me!
Dang, Finn is
flipping crazy.
This isn't going to do
anything.
He's never gonna give up.
[Growls]
Aah!!
[Gags, coughs]
[Grunts]
[Panting]
What happened?
You robbed me of the win!
You're right, man...
my bruises are hickeys
from the universe,
and I should just
accept that.
Yeah, boy!
In your face!
Yeah, in my face.
[Groans]
[Laughs]
Yeah!
- Dang it, Finn.
- [Chuckles]
[Vocalizing "Entrance of
the Gladiators"]
Who's ready
for rehabilitation?
We'll start with full-body
immersion therapy.
[Smooching]
- No!
- Yes!
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
FINN:
This party is so crazy!
Ripped By mstoll
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
[Penguins wenk]
[All cheering]
[Screeches]
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Yup!
Yeah, totally stuck
that landing!
Yeah! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Man, it's been so long
since I've worn the Jake suit.
I forgot how awesome
your bod is, bro.
Stretchy-arm power!
[Creak!]
I feel unstoppable!
[Roars]
Ba-a-a-a-m!
And I don't even feel it!
[Groans]
[Grunts]
Beemo, throw your plate at me.
Okay.
Hyah!
Yeah, Beemo, show me the stuff!
Keep it coming!
Hyah!
Yeah, Beemo, unleash
the beast!
Yeah!
Unleash the beast!
[Groans]
Come on, Beemo, bring it!
That's nothing!
[Growling]
You're weak, Beemo!
Rrrrrrrraah!
Ooh. Ooh.
Aah! Aah!
[Panting]
[Sighs]
You okay, Beemo?
I am no match
for the Jake suit.
That's right.
Dog, the Jake suit is
mad strong.
This junk can protect me
from anything.
JAKE: [muffled]
Uh, sort of.
Wait, bro, what are you
doing up here?
You know I'm not, like,
actual armor, right?
FINN:
Septuple flip off the tree house!
JAKE:
No-o-o-o-o!
- FINN: Whoo-hoo!
- JAKE: [grunts]
Ride 'em, cowboy!
Whoo!
[Gags, coughs]
[Panting]
Ohh...
Bam!
Huh... huh... huh...
[sighs]
You were a little rough with
the Jake suit today, bro.
You mashed up my doggy bag
pretty hard.
Why didn't you stop me?
When you're in my body,
it pushes out my brain,
so I have no control.
Come on, bro, taking
pain is easy.
You just have to imagine
that every bruise
is a hickey
from the universe.
And everyone wants to get
with the universe.
I bet you wouldn't
be saying that nonsense
if I wore you as a suit.
I bet I would be
saying that nonsense.
Okay, bro, let's see
how you like it.
I'll bring the pain.
Do it, bro.
Get in here.
[Grunts]
[Chuckles] Yes!
Time to bring the pain!
[Straining]
Huh?
[Chuckles]
Man, are you kidding?
[Grunts]
You give up?
You have to, like,
punch me in the face.
Hmm.
I thought I was.
This is hard.
I-I can't even make a fist.
How do you control my body
so well?
Dude, I'm graceful.
Mom raised me graceful.
[Grunts]
[Chuckles]
Dude, what the Bjork?
[Growls]
Hmm.
Aha! Here we go.
Dream Journal of a Boring Man,
Volume 12.
Uh, Jake, what are
you doing?
There's all kinds of
pain, Finn.
Jake, come on.
Don't do this.
[Sighing]
Ahh. Okay, let's see.
Ooh, this one looks good.
And it's not too long...
only seven pages.
[Chuckles]
Okay, here we go.
[Clears throat]
"In my dream, I was eating
jasmine rice,
but it was also brown rice,
and it was also
my mother."
Ohh.
[Snoring]
Huh?
What... where am I?
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Finn! How long
have I been out?
I don't know.
A couple hours.
Say what?
Why are you still reading?
It's actually not
that bad.
There's a bunch where
he knows he's dreaming.
Here... let me read you
a little.
"So, I said to the first guy,
'if everyone in my dream is me,
then you are me,'
and he said,
'I am who? '
And I said, 'Me.'
And he said, 'Who is me? '
And I said, 'You.'
And he said, 'What about you? '
And I said, 'No, you."'
- [Sighs]
"It's like he's trying to solve
a mystery that doesn't exist."
You want me to keep going?
No, I'm hungry.
Yeah, I'm hungry, too.
How about a truce while you go
make us some lunch?
Oh, I didn't know we
were allowed to call truces.
I'll totally remember that
the next time my doggy bag
is hurtling towards
a fence post.
You know, you could use the
opportunity of cooking me food
to mess with me.
[Gasps]
Wait a sec.
You just gave me an idea!
- Yeah?
- [Laughing evilly]
Uh-oh.
Oh, look out.
You gonna make me something
gross?
[Laughing continues]
Something spicy?
You know I can take it.
[Laughing continues]
Ta-da!
Meatloaf?
That's my favorite dish.
Mm-hmm.
[Chuckling]
What did you do to it?
I assure you,
it's delicious.
Okay, well, you're
really terrible at this.
[Chomp!]
Yummy.
Oh, that's just mean.
Admit you're wrong,
and you can have
some of this
delicious meatloaf.
No, I'm good.
[Chomping]
[Slurp!]
Mmm-hmm-hmm!
COMPUTER VOICE:
Special occasion.
Special occasion.
Special occasion.
Jake, that's my
special occasion phone.
Someone's calling me to tell me
about a special occasion.
So?
So, can you walk me over there?
I want to see who it is.
Hmph.
Special occasion.
Special occasion.
Oh, it's
Flame Princess.
[Chuckles]
I'll talk to her later.
I don't want you embarrassing
me, or, uh, anything.
Jake?
Jake, seriously,
don't do this.
- Tell me I win, dude.
- No, absolutely not.
All right.
Say goodbye to Flame Princess
thinking you're cool.
I'm gonna embarrass the Bjork
out of you.
Oh, hey, you came!
I got worried 'cause you didn't
answer special occasion phone.
- My relatives are waiting inside.
- What?
Well, that's why I called on
special occasion phone.
All my less-evil family members
are here for dinner.
Come eat.
[Laughing evilly]
Finn, this is my family.
These are my two younger
brothers,
my brother who's home
from the military,
and my judgmental
aunt and uncle.
[Jake laughing]
Jake, whatever
you're about to do,
please don't do it.
[All gasp]
[All gasp]
♪ I'm a tough tootin' baby
that can dance like a man ♪
♪ I can shake-ah my fanny ♪
♪ I can shake-ah my can ♪
♪ I'm a tough tootin' baby
that can punch-ah your buns ♪
♪ Punch-ah your buns ♪
♪ I can punch all your buns ♪
♪ If you're an evil witch,
I will punch you for fun ♪
What are you doing in front
of my family?!
Hold on, bro. Perhaps it's
a custom unknown to us.
Nope!
Just doing the kind of stuff
I do all the time.
This is a nightmare come
true for me, sister.
♪ Tough tootin' baby ♪
♪ Tough tootin'
baby ♪
What are you doing?!
Don't you want to see
more?
Oh, my Bjork!
No, I don't want to see more!
Wait, what's that
in your mouth?
Jake?
- Oops. Busted.
Are you controlling Finn?
Yeah, I'm causing
Finn pain.
We have a bet going on.
And you made him dance like
a baby, semi-nude,
in front of my
family?
Wow, that's pretty hard-core.
[Chuckles]
What?
[Chuckling] Good luck, Finn.
Hope you win.
- I will.
- Hmph!
[Gasps]
Hi, Lady.
Finn!
[Speaking Korean]
- I'm right here.
- Oh.
'Sup?
What's TV doing here?
I thought all the kids
found apartments.
[Speaking Korean]
[Chuckles]
That's my boy...
mama's basement baby.
[Sighs]
[Speaking Korean]
Oh, it's this bet
we're doing.
It's not really a bet.
It's more like a showdown.
I'm trying to get him to admit
that it's hard
when someone wears you
as a suit.
How do I win the bet, Lady?
TV:
Hey, Dad?
Why don't you try jumping
in a volcano?
[Keyboard clacking]
Hmm.
[Laughing evilly]
Yes!
So, what are we
doing, bro?
The universe is gonna have
a full-on make-out session
with you, bro...
I'm talking minimum
tier eight.
Behold!
[Wolves snarling]
Fire wolves?
That's your plan? Please.
Oh, no, bro.
That's just fortuitous
circumstance.
Allow me to take advantage.
Here, pup-pups.
You want some kibble?
You want steak flavor?
- Steaky-steaks?
- Aw, my kibble!
[Wolves snarling]
[Snarling stops]
[Wolves whimpering]
[Sizzle!]
[Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp!]
How you like it, bro?
Pretty painful, huh?
Eh, whatevs.
Ah, forget it.
Let's go.
[Wolves whimpering]
Hmm. Looks hot.
Oh, yeah, bro.
The pain train has arrived
at the station.
Choo! Choo!
I'm ready, bro!
Bring it!
You're nothing, lava!
You're a bum!
I can handle you!
Look, just say, "stop,"
and you won't get burned.
Never!
Okay, bro.
This'll pretty much wreck up
your whole life,
so think about it.
Bring it!
Yeah, baby, feels good!
Love it!
Loving that heat on my skull!
Okay, I'm gonna lower
you some more.
It's probably gonna cook up
your brain.
Oh, yeah, give it to me!
Dang, Finn is
flipping crazy.
This isn't going to do
anything.
He's never gonna give up.
[Growls]
Aah!!
[Gags, coughs]
[Grunts]
[Panting]
What happened?
You robbed me of the win!
You're right, man...
my bruises are hickeys
from the universe,
and I should just
accept that.
Yeah, boy!
In your face!
Yeah, in my face.
[Groans]
[Laughs]
Yeah!
- Dang it, Finn.
- [Chuckles]
[Vocalizing "Entrance of
the Gladiators"]
Who's ready
for rehabilitation?
We'll start with full-body
immersion therapy.
[Smooching]
- No!
- Yes!
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
FINN:
This party is so crazy!
Ripped By mstoll
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.