Adventure Time (2010–2018): Season 5, Episode 25 - Candy Streets - full transcript
Lumpy Space Princess is robbed and faints before she can tell Finn and Jake who robbed her.
[Mouse squeaks]
[Penguins wenk]
[All cheering]
[Screeches]
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Slam!
[Both chuckling]
"Hey, I was trying
to read that!"
"That book is above
your level."
"What business are
you into?"
"None of your
business!"
"Talk about it
over lunch?"
"Heh, if you're buying."
- "Hey!"
- "Hey!"
BOTH:
"Fight!"
[Both grunting]
Aah! It's terrible!
TOGETHER:
Lumpy Space Princess?!
What's wrong?
You guys, somebody stole
something from me...
something I can't live
without!
I'll get something
to calm her down.
I've been robbed!
PB:
Out of the way!
Aaaaah!
[Hysterical gibberish]
I need help!
Can you guys hold her down?
You have to do something!
I've been... unh!
R-o-o-o-obb-e-e-d.
Oh.
[Groggy gibberish]
Oops.
LSP, who robbed you?
Lt... was...
Puh... Pete...
Pete...
Sa... Sass... as...
[gibberish]
Oh, uh...
[body thuds]
I think I gave her
too much.
Jake, a crime has
been committed.
We must find the criminal...
- We must.
...and retrieve
whatever it is
that was stolen from
Lumpy Space Princess!
Stolen.
But all we have to go on
is part of a name...
Pete something.
Need more clues!
Hold me!
Clues, clues,
clues...
[groaning]
What's that?
I can't see it.
Oop. Sorry.
Ahh.
There's something in
her hand!
A key!
A key to... what?
"3-0-3."
Hmm.
Ooh! Turn it around.
Ah!
Looks like we got
our first lead.
[Imitates gun cocking]
Unh!
Hmm.
Found anything yet, Jake?
I got some bags
and...
Wait!
More bags.
But no leads
on Pete something.
Same here.
Beemo, start marking
evidence.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmmm.
Dude, check this.
Is this blood?
Yeah, man,
that's definitely blood.
Hmm.
LSP's injuries were
100% emotional.
So it has to belong to
Pete Sa-something.
Beemo, take a sample and do
a full blood analysis.
The "woiks."
Hey, if that guy cut himself
during the robbery,
he might have gone
somewhere to buy
a mini adhesive bandage.
There's a drug store
across the street.
Let's roll!
Whoa!
JAKE:
Vroom!
[Imitates brakes squealing,
car idling]
And if the oozing persists,
just come back...
and I'll give you something
a little stronger.
I'm Finn.
This is my partner Jake.
Hello, citizen, had anyone
in here looking to buy
some mini adhesive bandages today?
A lot of people come through
my store, gentlemen.
You can't seriously think
I'd be able to remember
any one particular customer
among the countless others
I see on a daily basis
now, can you?
I guess not.
Fair do's.
Come on, Jake...
Wait!
Now that you mention it,
there was this one guy
in here earlier.
Real suspicious type.
Had a nose bleed.
Said it was the first one
he'd had in years.
Used to get them all the time
as a kid, he said.
Could never remember if he was
supposed to pinch his nose
and hold his head back
or pinch his nose and hold
his head forward.
Maybe it was a case
of being boxed
on the nose
too many times...
made the blood vessels
in his lower septum weak
and vulnerable
to hemorrhaging.
Anyway, his mammy always said
it was because he couldn't keep
those picky little fingers
out of his dirty little
nose holes.
He didn't buy it, though.
He always thought...
Ma'am, can you give us
a name?
Mmmmm, nope.
No, wait.
Yes, I can.
Pete Sassafrass.
Pete...
Sa... Sass... as...
Did you catch which
way he was going?
Of course. He said he was
catching a train at 11:27,
Candy Kingdom station,
Platform 5.
Heh. I'm sorry.
I wish I could remember more.
See anyone who might
be our guy?
[Sighs]
Nope.
Nobody suspicious here.
Just a load of decent,
law-abiding folk.
What the...
Jake, what's with all the
turning into stuff today?
I really like turning
into cop stuff.
I literally can't stop
turning into cop stuff.
PA ANNOUNCER:
Final boarding...
Hey, there's
Platform 5.
...service to
Peppermint Hills, Track 5.
[Gasps]
I see a nasty "tranch"!
Let's book 'im, son.
Hup! Sorry!
Whoa!
Comin' through!
Hup!
[Grunts]
Stop right there!
What's under that skeezy
trench coat, you...
- Crook!
- [Both grunt]
Busted! For attempting
to board a train
without a ticket.
[Train horn blows]
Aw, guys,
he's getting away!
We're not criminals, man!
We're working the beat,
just like you!
Jimmy?
Yep, checks out.
He tastes like police.
Eh, sorry about that,
officers.
It was an honest mistake.
Ugh! We lost him.
JAKE:
Not yet we didn't.
[Imitates siren wailing]
Unh! Too far ahead.
We'll never catch it!
If we cut through the forest,
maybe we can head it off
at the pass.
Sweet thinking!
[Imitates tires screeching]
[Both scream]
Oh, deer!
BOTH:
Yeah!
[Grunts]
Are you
Pete Sassafrass?
Wha?
I... got a lot of names.
Who's askin'?
[Imitates gun cocking]
Give back what you stole
from LSP!
Who? What's that?
An acronym or somethin'?
Oof!
Cuff him.
[Grunts]
All right, I got this.
Oof!
[Grunting]
You have the right
to remain...
[breathes deeply]
Busted.
All right, you listen,
flatfoot.
There's been some kind of crazy
mistake here.
I didn't do nothin'!
Save it for
the Candy Judge, Pete.
Look, you can drop
the act
and cut the sass,
Sassafrass.
We've got an eyewitness
and your blood
at the scene of the crime.
You do the crime,
you do the time, man.
Roll the dice,
you pay the price.
What dice?
Oh, you guys are donkers.
Burgle our friend,
it's the end...
for yo-o-o-o-o-u.
I want to see a lawyer.
[Clears throat]
I'll handle this, Pete.
You're upsetting my client.
Just look at that face.
That constitutes harassment,
so give him some space.
Don't worry, buddy.
I've got this case.
[Both laugh]
"Welcome to the next 25 years
of your life!"
[Sighs]
We deserve doughnuts.
Let's bowl.
No, no, wait, please.
You guys!
"Guilty!"
Man, we didn't just
crack that case...
We crunched it.
Crumbled it.
We are awesome at
being cops.
There's no question
about that.
Ah, call me crazy,
but I was thinking...
maybe we should actually
become detectives,
like as a job!
When we were out on the streets
back there,
getting those leads,
busting that perp,
it just felt so...
I don't know...
right.
I know, man.
I actually totally do know
exactly what you mean.
Ah. Dude.
I told you, I have a
problem.
I can't stop.
- [Sighs]
- Howdy, partner.
Oh, hey, Beemo.
What's going on?
I've finished processing
the blood sample,
and I have the results.
- Nice.
- Yeah, good work, Beemo.
It's Pete Sassafrass's
blood, right?
No, it doesn't belong to
anyone because it's not blood.
It's tomato sauce.
Tomato sauce?
Hmm.
[Grunting]
Pete...
Sa... Sass... as...
Pete... sa...
Oh, my mind!
LSP wasn't trying to say
"Pete Sa-something."
She was trying to say "pizza"
something!
But how would pizza sauce
end up in a hotel room?
Unless it was
delivered.
[Both breathing heavily]
BOTH:
Pizza Sassy's!
Where is the delivery
guy?!
Oh, you mean Petey.
He's out.
He's making deliveries.
Or maybe he's out
tying up loose ends.
[Gasps]
LSP could be in dange-r-r-r-r!
Dange-r-r-r-r!
- Phone?
- Phone.
[Panting]
[Imitates phone dialing]
Princess!
Add some banana guards outside
of LSP's hospital room.
Huh? Why?
LSP could be in
danger!
LSP woke up and
went back to her hotel room.
Oh, my J-i-i-i-i-im!
BOTH:
He's already here!
[Both screaming]
Can I help you?
BOTH:
LSP!
[Both scream]
LSP:
Ow! Ow! Hey! Hey, no!
Oh, no!
What are you doing?!
It was you.
- You did it!
- Help me!
I was just delivering
the pizza she ordered,
and now she won't
let me leave.
LSP, what is going
on?
You said he stole something
from you.
Well, he did!
He stole...
my heart!
[Sobbing]
Hurry up, dude!
- Shh!
- Right.
Hoo! Thanks!
- Shh!
- Go! Go!
No tip, huh?
That's great.
That's how it is around here.
Fine.
Huh? Huh?
Come on, pal.
Turns out the only case here
is just another case of LSP
being nutty.
[Imitates tires screeching]
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
FINN:
This party is so crazy!
Ripped By mstoll
[Penguins wenk]
[All cheering]
[Screeches]
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Slam!
[Both chuckling]
"Hey, I was trying
to read that!"
"That book is above
your level."
"What business are
you into?"
"None of your
business!"
"Talk about it
over lunch?"
"Heh, if you're buying."
- "Hey!"
- "Hey!"
BOTH:
"Fight!"
[Both grunting]
Aah! It's terrible!
TOGETHER:
Lumpy Space Princess?!
What's wrong?
You guys, somebody stole
something from me...
something I can't live
without!
I'll get something
to calm her down.
I've been robbed!
PB:
Out of the way!
Aaaaah!
[Hysterical gibberish]
I need help!
Can you guys hold her down?
You have to do something!
I've been... unh!
R-o-o-o-obb-e-e-d.
Oh.
[Groggy gibberish]
Oops.
LSP, who robbed you?
Lt... was...
Puh... Pete...
Pete...
Sa... Sass... as...
[gibberish]
Oh, uh...
[body thuds]
I think I gave her
too much.
Jake, a crime has
been committed.
We must find the criminal...
- We must.
...and retrieve
whatever it is
that was stolen from
Lumpy Space Princess!
Stolen.
But all we have to go on
is part of a name...
Pete something.
Need more clues!
Hold me!
Clues, clues,
clues...
[groaning]
What's that?
I can't see it.
Oop. Sorry.
Ahh.
There's something in
her hand!
A key!
A key to... what?
"3-0-3."
Hmm.
Ooh! Turn it around.
Ah!
Looks like we got
our first lead.
[Imitates gun cocking]
Unh!
Hmm.
Found anything yet, Jake?
I got some bags
and...
Wait!
More bags.
But no leads
on Pete something.
Same here.
Beemo, start marking
evidence.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmmm.
Dude, check this.
Is this blood?
Yeah, man,
that's definitely blood.
Hmm.
LSP's injuries were
100% emotional.
So it has to belong to
Pete Sa-something.
Beemo, take a sample and do
a full blood analysis.
The "woiks."
Hey, if that guy cut himself
during the robbery,
he might have gone
somewhere to buy
a mini adhesive bandage.
There's a drug store
across the street.
Let's roll!
Whoa!
JAKE:
Vroom!
[Imitates brakes squealing,
car idling]
And if the oozing persists,
just come back...
and I'll give you something
a little stronger.
I'm Finn.
This is my partner Jake.
Hello, citizen, had anyone
in here looking to buy
some mini adhesive bandages today?
A lot of people come through
my store, gentlemen.
You can't seriously think
I'd be able to remember
any one particular customer
among the countless others
I see on a daily basis
now, can you?
I guess not.
Fair do's.
Come on, Jake...
Wait!
Now that you mention it,
there was this one guy
in here earlier.
Real suspicious type.
Had a nose bleed.
Said it was the first one
he'd had in years.
Used to get them all the time
as a kid, he said.
Could never remember if he was
supposed to pinch his nose
and hold his head back
or pinch his nose and hold
his head forward.
Maybe it was a case
of being boxed
on the nose
too many times...
made the blood vessels
in his lower septum weak
and vulnerable
to hemorrhaging.
Anyway, his mammy always said
it was because he couldn't keep
those picky little fingers
out of his dirty little
nose holes.
He didn't buy it, though.
He always thought...
Ma'am, can you give us
a name?
Mmmmm, nope.
No, wait.
Yes, I can.
Pete Sassafrass.
Pete...
Sa... Sass... as...
Did you catch which
way he was going?
Of course. He said he was
catching a train at 11:27,
Candy Kingdom station,
Platform 5.
Heh. I'm sorry.
I wish I could remember more.
See anyone who might
be our guy?
[Sighs]
Nope.
Nobody suspicious here.
Just a load of decent,
law-abiding folk.
What the...
Jake, what's with all the
turning into stuff today?
I really like turning
into cop stuff.
I literally can't stop
turning into cop stuff.
PA ANNOUNCER:
Final boarding...
Hey, there's
Platform 5.
...service to
Peppermint Hills, Track 5.
[Gasps]
I see a nasty "tranch"!
Let's book 'im, son.
Hup! Sorry!
Whoa!
Comin' through!
Hup!
[Grunts]
Stop right there!
What's under that skeezy
trench coat, you...
- Crook!
- [Both grunt]
Busted! For attempting
to board a train
without a ticket.
[Train horn blows]
Aw, guys,
he's getting away!
We're not criminals, man!
We're working the beat,
just like you!
Jimmy?
Yep, checks out.
He tastes like police.
Eh, sorry about that,
officers.
It was an honest mistake.
Ugh! We lost him.
JAKE:
Not yet we didn't.
[Imitates siren wailing]
Unh! Too far ahead.
We'll never catch it!
If we cut through the forest,
maybe we can head it off
at the pass.
Sweet thinking!
[Imitates tires screeching]
[Both scream]
Oh, deer!
BOTH:
Yeah!
[Grunts]
Are you
Pete Sassafrass?
Wha?
I... got a lot of names.
Who's askin'?
[Imitates gun cocking]
Give back what you stole
from LSP!
Who? What's that?
An acronym or somethin'?
Oof!
Cuff him.
[Grunts]
All right, I got this.
Oof!
[Grunting]
You have the right
to remain...
[breathes deeply]
Busted.
All right, you listen,
flatfoot.
There's been some kind of crazy
mistake here.
I didn't do nothin'!
Save it for
the Candy Judge, Pete.
Look, you can drop
the act
and cut the sass,
Sassafrass.
We've got an eyewitness
and your blood
at the scene of the crime.
You do the crime,
you do the time, man.
Roll the dice,
you pay the price.
What dice?
Oh, you guys are donkers.
Burgle our friend,
it's the end...
for yo-o-o-o-o-u.
I want to see a lawyer.
[Clears throat]
I'll handle this, Pete.
You're upsetting my client.
Just look at that face.
That constitutes harassment,
so give him some space.
Don't worry, buddy.
I've got this case.
[Both laugh]
"Welcome to the next 25 years
of your life!"
[Sighs]
We deserve doughnuts.
Let's bowl.
No, no, wait, please.
You guys!
"Guilty!"
Man, we didn't just
crack that case...
We crunched it.
Crumbled it.
We are awesome at
being cops.
There's no question
about that.
Ah, call me crazy,
but I was thinking...
maybe we should actually
become detectives,
like as a job!
When we were out on the streets
back there,
getting those leads,
busting that perp,
it just felt so...
I don't know...
right.
I know, man.
I actually totally do know
exactly what you mean.
Ah. Dude.
I told you, I have a
problem.
I can't stop.
- [Sighs]
- Howdy, partner.
Oh, hey, Beemo.
What's going on?
I've finished processing
the blood sample,
and I have the results.
- Nice.
- Yeah, good work, Beemo.
It's Pete Sassafrass's
blood, right?
No, it doesn't belong to
anyone because it's not blood.
It's tomato sauce.
Tomato sauce?
Hmm.
[Grunting]
Pete...
Sa... Sass... as...
Pete... sa...
Oh, my mind!
LSP wasn't trying to say
"Pete Sa-something."
She was trying to say "pizza"
something!
But how would pizza sauce
end up in a hotel room?
Unless it was
delivered.
[Both breathing heavily]
BOTH:
Pizza Sassy's!
Where is the delivery
guy?!
Oh, you mean Petey.
He's out.
He's making deliveries.
Or maybe he's out
tying up loose ends.
[Gasps]
LSP could be in dange-r-r-r-r!
Dange-r-r-r-r!
- Phone?
- Phone.
[Panting]
[Imitates phone dialing]
Princess!
Add some banana guards outside
of LSP's hospital room.
Huh? Why?
LSP could be in
danger!
LSP woke up and
went back to her hotel room.
Oh, my J-i-i-i-i-im!
BOTH:
He's already here!
[Both screaming]
Can I help you?
BOTH:
LSP!
[Both scream]
LSP:
Ow! Ow! Hey! Hey, no!
Oh, no!
What are you doing?!
It was you.
- You did it!
- Help me!
I was just delivering
the pizza she ordered,
and now she won't
let me leave.
LSP, what is going
on?
You said he stole something
from you.
Well, he did!
He stole...
my heart!
[Sobbing]
Hurry up, dude!
- Shh!
- Right.
Hoo! Thanks!
- Shh!
- Go! Go!
No tip, huh?
That's great.
That's how it is around here.
Fine.
Huh? Huh?
Come on, pal.
Turns out the only case here
is just another case of LSP
being nutty.
[Imitates tires screeching]
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
FINN:
This party is so crazy!
Ripped By mstoll