Adventure Time (2010–2018): Season 5, Episode 13 - The Great Bird Man - full transcript
Finn and Jake get lost in the badlands and are saved by Xergiok, ex-Goblin King who now lives in a cave. A look at what Ice King and Marceline were like 996 years ago.
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Finn to Prubs.
Come in, Prubs.
Hey, Finn!
How's the mission going?
So far, no sign of the Birdman.
Why's this guy
so dangerous?
Some say he's a half
man/half bird that poops
fire while he flies.
It's all rumors so far.
That's why I need you and Jake
to find out everything you can
about him and
report back to me.
Where are you?
Under the sea.
The mermaids are
trying to beach themselves.
I came to see why.
Turns out,
they're just lonely.
Ha ha!
Maybe I'll go hang out
with them after this biz.
Sounds great, Finn.
Okay. Bye, PB!
By-y-y-y-y-e!
Come on, let's go
look for that creep.
Whoa.
Huh? Where am I?
This is the Rookery, where I
and my bird friends dwell.
So are you, like,
the great birdman?
That's what they
call me nowadays.
But when I first met you, Finn,
and you, Jake, you knew me as
Xergiok, the Goblin King!
Wha-a-a?!
When we first met, I was crazy
for smacking goblin hams.
I was cruel,
selfish, brutal.
But everything changed after I
was defeated by the two of you!
So, you got some
slick new shades,
and now everything's
different?
Oh, no.
My change has been deep.
And these whatsits are only
curtains for empty windows.
Whoa.
What happened there?
I miffed off a wizard,
and he took my eyes.
I wonder what he
wanted them for...
some kind of lotion or potion
or time-traveling spell.
I'll never know.
Never. Ever. Never.
But losing my
eyesight was only
the beginning of
my wonderful change.
I started meditating
and doing yoga.
Now I can "see" with my
heart and smell with my soul.
You smell
with your beard?
I smell with my nose!
Lame!
Ohmmmmmmmm...
What are you doing?
...mmmmmmm...
Oh, Taffy!
You heard my call!
Climb aboard, boys.
Taffy will take us
to the lower level,
and you can have
a bite to eat.
Oh.
Uh... me and Jake
will follow you.
Jake needs to
stretch out and stuff.
Okay, great!
Well, follow me!
It's crazy, right?
The way dude's eyeballs
are just hanging there?
I know.
I almost told him
'cause it was driving me nuts.
Yeah! Me too!
You think he's got evil
intentions behind his reborn
star-child act?
I don't know.
But if he does,
I'm gonna find out.
Yeah. Me too.
Nice and cool down here,
isn't it?
Aha! Listen to the babies.
Num-num time.
Aw. Hey, that's cute.
There you go, little ones.
Suckle, suckle!
They're small, but they sure
can take a lot out of you.
Whoo! Dizzy.
Sometimes feeding
really wipes me out.
I hope you'll excuse me
while I refocus my Chi.
See you in a while.
Now's our chance to
do some snooping.
Jake!
I found his weapon stash.
Hmm.
What is it?
A fighting stick?
A dagger?
This one's a letter
from the hospital.
You can read those
bumps with your fingers?
Yeah, I learned
braille from my ex.
Your ex was blind?
Nah, just cool.
"Dear Xergiok, thank you
so much for your donation.
The kidneys fit great."
Well, geez, maybe he
has changed his ways.
Maybe.
Let's keep looking.
Doi!
Oh!
Oh, crease!
Psychic links!
Cardamon, my friend,
I'm coming!
Ooh! Aah!
Mother of gob!
Hold on, Cardi!
Okay, here I am, buddy.
OI' Xergi's here.
Let's see, now.
Aw, dang!
Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng!
Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng!
Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wong!
Wha-a-a-a-t?!
Shush, Chile!
Ah, Finn and Jake,
you are here.
Where'd you learn
that heal spell?
I use no magic.
I manipulated space
with a vibrational chant.
You see, now the injury
has transferred to me.
Ooh, yeah!
That hurts, baby!
Whooooo!
Can't you see,
Jake?
I love these birds
more than I love myself.
What am I to the deafening
roar of the macrocosmos?
Nothing much.
Just a vessel to carry the
message of friendship
to y'all
beasts and dirt.
Dirt?
Yeah. Look.
Hello, friends. Go for a ride.
Listen, man,
about your eyes...
Yes...
a wizard stole them.
All right.
But not...
Finn, what are
you doing, man?
Dude, he's changed.
Are you sure?
Uh, yeah, man.
Isn't it kind of obvi?
All right. Tell him.
Tell me what?
Your eyes weren't
stolen by a wizard.
They're in your beard.
All right.
Ooh! Where are they?
Ohhh! Ohhhhh!
Dude, your eyes
are in your beard.
What?
Good job, guys.
Goofing on the blind guy...
real nice!
No, man, they're right here.
What in my li-i-i-fe?!
We didn't tell you 'cause we
thought you might still
be a Wong Lord.
And these aren't
grapes, right?
No, man.
Hmm.
Finn and Jake, could you
help me onto Cardamon's back?
I would like to be high in the
clouds, bathed in the pinks
and blues of the
desert twilight,
when I restore my sight.
Sure. Okay.
Climb aboard!
Vanilla! Chocolat!
Cinnamon! Agave!
All my friends, to the skies!
♪ Far, far above ♪
♪ Time standing still ♪
♪ Memories are one ♪
♪ Same space, same will ♪
♪ Now move along ♪
♪ Light speed divides ♪
♪ Rips all from one ♪
♪ It blows my eye holes ♪
♪ And fills me with real power ♪
♪ Fills me with real power! ♪
♪ Power! ♪
♪ Power! ♪
♪ Power!! ♪
♪ Power!!! ♪
Power.
How's it feel, man?
Oh. Yeah, it's overwhelming.
This view takes me back.
I always loved the sunset...
and the silhouettes of my
little goblins lined up to
receive their spankings!
Well, the past is the past.
I want to thank you
guys for finding my eyes.
I don't know where I got
that idea about the wizard.
You were in the desert
a long time, man.
Yes... 20 years.
Nah, it was more like
one year and change, dude.
Yes, things certainly have
changed for me in that time.
Say, who's ruling the, uh,
Goblin Kingdom since I left?
Whisper Dan.
Oh. Whisper Dan.
That's cool.
Cool. Cool.
Hey, you guys want a
ride back to your crib?
Yeah. Sure, man.
Yup.
Uh, wait.
Xergiok, this is
the Goblin Kingdom.
I know, but I was thinking...
now that I'm wiser,
I could rule as King again.
That idea is terrible.
Well, you know,
I disagree.
And I have my army of bird
friends,
so anyone who disagrees
with me should get a
spanki-i-i-i-i-i-ng!
Hey, Jeff,
is that your real laugh?
No! It's Xergiok!
Oh, Glob!
Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng!
Ah, dang!
Aaaaah!
Yeah, baby!
Come on, man.
Are you for real?
Attack, birds! Attack!!
Where's the butt
on this thing?
That's sort of
like a butt.
Yeah!
You like that? Huh?
Whoa!
Wait!
Cardamon! Nougat!
Stevia! Dang!
You lost your
friends, dude.
Yeah, I feel myself
hitting bottom again.
Yep. Okay.
Here we go.
Wo-o-o-wo-wong!
Here, Finn... take my eyes
and bury them forever.
I will not
need them again.
Okay, man.
Thanks.
Are you gonna be
all right, man?
It's cool.
Bye!
Dude, that sucks.
I hope he finds peace...
or something.
He's going to the reservoir.
Um... why is he doing that?
Maybe he's thirsty.
Oops.
I guess he was just sad.
Should we save him?
Nah, man, he's fine.
Whoooooooooooooo!
What the?
I found a girlfriend!
I'm in love!
Whoo!
♪ Ha ha ha-a-a-a-a-a ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
- This party is so crazy!
- Ripped By mstoll
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Finn to Prubs.
Come in, Prubs.
Hey, Finn!
How's the mission going?
So far, no sign of the Birdman.
Why's this guy
so dangerous?
Some say he's a half
man/half bird that poops
fire while he flies.
It's all rumors so far.
That's why I need you and Jake
to find out everything you can
about him and
report back to me.
Where are you?
Under the sea.
The mermaids are
trying to beach themselves.
I came to see why.
Turns out,
they're just lonely.
Ha ha!
Maybe I'll go hang out
with them after this biz.
Sounds great, Finn.
Okay. Bye, PB!
By-y-y-y-y-e!
Come on, let's go
look for that creep.
Whoa.
Huh? Where am I?
This is the Rookery, where I
and my bird friends dwell.
So are you, like,
the great birdman?
That's what they
call me nowadays.
But when I first met you, Finn,
and you, Jake, you knew me as
Xergiok, the Goblin King!
Wha-a-a?!
When we first met, I was crazy
for smacking goblin hams.
I was cruel,
selfish, brutal.
But everything changed after I
was defeated by the two of you!
So, you got some
slick new shades,
and now everything's
different?
Oh, no.
My change has been deep.
And these whatsits are only
curtains for empty windows.
Whoa.
What happened there?
I miffed off a wizard,
and he took my eyes.
I wonder what he
wanted them for...
some kind of lotion or potion
or time-traveling spell.
I'll never know.
Never. Ever. Never.
But losing my
eyesight was only
the beginning of
my wonderful change.
I started meditating
and doing yoga.
Now I can "see" with my
heart and smell with my soul.
You smell
with your beard?
I smell with my nose!
Lame!
Ohmmmmmmmm...
What are you doing?
...mmmmmmm...
Oh, Taffy!
You heard my call!
Climb aboard, boys.
Taffy will take us
to the lower level,
and you can have
a bite to eat.
Oh.
Uh... me and Jake
will follow you.
Jake needs to
stretch out and stuff.
Okay, great!
Well, follow me!
It's crazy, right?
The way dude's eyeballs
are just hanging there?
I know.
I almost told him
'cause it was driving me nuts.
Yeah! Me too!
You think he's got evil
intentions behind his reborn
star-child act?
I don't know.
But if he does,
I'm gonna find out.
Yeah. Me too.
Nice and cool down here,
isn't it?
Aha! Listen to the babies.
Num-num time.
Aw. Hey, that's cute.
There you go, little ones.
Suckle, suckle!
They're small, but they sure
can take a lot out of you.
Whoo! Dizzy.
Sometimes feeding
really wipes me out.
I hope you'll excuse me
while I refocus my Chi.
See you in a while.
Now's our chance to
do some snooping.
Jake!
I found his weapon stash.
Hmm.
What is it?
A fighting stick?
A dagger?
This one's a letter
from the hospital.
You can read those
bumps with your fingers?
Yeah, I learned
braille from my ex.
Your ex was blind?
Nah, just cool.
"Dear Xergiok, thank you
so much for your donation.
The kidneys fit great."
Well, geez, maybe he
has changed his ways.
Maybe.
Let's keep looking.
Doi!
Oh!
Oh, crease!
Psychic links!
Cardamon, my friend,
I'm coming!
Ooh! Aah!
Mother of gob!
Hold on, Cardi!
Okay, here I am, buddy.
OI' Xergi's here.
Let's see, now.
Aw, dang!
Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng!
Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng!
Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wong!
Wha-a-a-a-t?!
Shush, Chile!
Ah, Finn and Jake,
you are here.
Where'd you learn
that heal spell?
I use no magic.
I manipulated space
with a vibrational chant.
You see, now the injury
has transferred to me.
Ooh, yeah!
That hurts, baby!
Whooooo!
Can't you see,
Jake?
I love these birds
more than I love myself.
What am I to the deafening
roar of the macrocosmos?
Nothing much.
Just a vessel to carry the
message of friendship
to y'all
beasts and dirt.
Dirt?
Yeah. Look.
Hello, friends. Go for a ride.
Listen, man,
about your eyes...
Yes...
a wizard stole them.
All right.
But not...
Finn, what are
you doing, man?
Dude, he's changed.
Are you sure?
Uh, yeah, man.
Isn't it kind of obvi?
All right. Tell him.
Tell me what?
Your eyes weren't
stolen by a wizard.
They're in your beard.
All right.
Ooh! Where are they?
Ohhh! Ohhhhh!
Dude, your eyes
are in your beard.
What?
Good job, guys.
Goofing on the blind guy...
real nice!
No, man, they're right here.
What in my li-i-i-fe?!
We didn't tell you 'cause we
thought you might still
be a Wong Lord.
And these aren't
grapes, right?
No, man.
Hmm.
Finn and Jake, could you
help me onto Cardamon's back?
I would like to be high in the
clouds, bathed in the pinks
and blues of the
desert twilight,
when I restore my sight.
Sure. Okay.
Climb aboard!
Vanilla! Chocolat!
Cinnamon! Agave!
All my friends, to the skies!
♪ Far, far above ♪
♪ Time standing still ♪
♪ Memories are one ♪
♪ Same space, same will ♪
♪ Now move along ♪
♪ Light speed divides ♪
♪ Rips all from one ♪
♪ It blows my eye holes ♪
♪ And fills me with real power ♪
♪ Fills me with real power! ♪
♪ Power! ♪
♪ Power! ♪
♪ Power!! ♪
♪ Power!!! ♪
Power.
How's it feel, man?
Oh. Yeah, it's overwhelming.
This view takes me back.
I always loved the sunset...
and the silhouettes of my
little goblins lined up to
receive their spankings!
Well, the past is the past.
I want to thank you
guys for finding my eyes.
I don't know where I got
that idea about the wizard.
You were in the desert
a long time, man.
Yes... 20 years.
Nah, it was more like
one year and change, dude.
Yes, things certainly have
changed for me in that time.
Say, who's ruling the, uh,
Goblin Kingdom since I left?
Whisper Dan.
Oh. Whisper Dan.
That's cool.
Cool. Cool.
Hey, you guys want a
ride back to your crib?
Yeah. Sure, man.
Yup.
Uh, wait.
Xergiok, this is
the Goblin Kingdom.
I know, but I was thinking...
now that I'm wiser,
I could rule as King again.
That idea is terrible.
Well, you know,
I disagree.
And I have my army of bird
friends,
so anyone who disagrees
with me should get a
spanki-i-i-i-i-i-ng!
Hey, Jeff,
is that your real laugh?
No! It's Xergiok!
Oh, Glob!
Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng!
Ah, dang!
Aaaaah!
Yeah, baby!
Come on, man.
Are you for real?
Attack, birds! Attack!!
Where's the butt
on this thing?
That's sort of
like a butt.
Yeah!
You like that? Huh?
Whoa!
Wait!
Cardamon! Nougat!
Stevia! Dang!
You lost your
friends, dude.
Yeah, I feel myself
hitting bottom again.
Yep. Okay.
Here we go.
Wo-o-o-wo-wong!
Here, Finn... take my eyes
and bury them forever.
I will not
need them again.
Okay, man.
Thanks.
Are you gonna be
all right, man?
It's cool.
Bye!
Dude, that sucks.
I hope he finds peace...
or something.
He's going to the reservoir.
Um... why is he doing that?
Maybe he's thirsty.
Oops.
I guess he was just sad.
Should we save him?
Nah, man, he's fine.
Whoooooooooooooo!
What the?
I found a girlfriend!
I'm in love!
Whoo!
♪ Ha ha ha-a-a-a-a-a ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
- This party is so crazy!
- Ripped By mstoll
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.