Acapulco H.E.A.T. (1998–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Code Name: Spear of Destiny - full transcript
Tonight on
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."...
- Hold it!
♪ Ah, can you feel it
♪ Burn inside
♪ Yeah
♪ Makin' me hazy
♪ Wet fingers touchin' mine
♪ Makin' me crazy
♪ Out on the street
♪ I feel the heat
♪ Deep in the darkest night
♪ I feel the motion
♪ Keep all my love alive
♪ Come to the ocean
♪ Out on the street
♪ I feel the heat
- Watch out for the laser beams.
We break one of these beams,
it's over.
Remember, like we practiced.
Come on, come on.
Good, good.
You go on this side.
Easy. Easy.
The case is pressure sensitive.
Careful.
Careful. Careful.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now...
you ready?
One... two... three!
Okay... easy.
Easy.
Easy.
Slowly. Slowly.
Go, go, go, go!
- Boy, you'd make
a great dad, Tommy.
Don't start with me.
- I mean it.
Wouldn't he?
- Oh, absolutely.
- All right, I know I'm gonna
regret this, but why?
- Well, if you can love an ugly,
old piece of junk like that,
just think how you'd feel about
a cute, little baby in diapers.
- Very funny.
Come on, put that down
and help us.
- Oh, just a sec.
Okay if I ask you
something personal?
- How personal?
- Okay, when you guys were kids,
who was your favorite
family on TV?
- Well, believe it or not,
I loved the Bradys.
But the Partridge family
were pretty cool too.
- Yuck.
- You didn't like those shows?
- Nah.
Too syrupy for me.
Both of 'em.
Now, the Flintstones...
that's entertainment.
- You'd want Fred and Wilma
as your mom and dad?
- Who said anything
about them being my folks?
- I'll get it.
Hey, listen to this.
Sir Desmond Ashford,
director of the London Society
of Antiquities,
wants to hire us.
- To do what?
- Uh, find something
called the spear of destiny.
- Oh, isn't that the, uh...
- It's an ancient artifact.
A Roman soldier supposedly
stabbed Jesus Christ with it
while he was on the cross.
- Hey, let me see that.
Says it was stolen
from a museum in Panama.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Society thinks it's either here
or on the way.
- Any suspects?
- Two maybes.
Lyle Decker, who's a guru
to a bunch of militants,
and, um...
oh, David Kelly,
better known as Dave the Wave.
- The surfer.
- Yeah.
Former world champ.
Now over the hill.
- Hey, there's a surfing contest
north of here in Sayulita.
Starts Saturday.
Charity event.
- Nice cover.
- Speaking of charity,
how much is the Society
willing to pay us?
- 5,000 as a retainer
and...
20,000 if we recover the spear.
- Well, they've got my vote.
- Surfers, militants...
What's the connection?
- Well, the spear.
Decker wants it to rally
supporters to his cause,
and Kelly to sell it
for big bucks.
- They're kidding, right?
- No.
According to the fax, that's
what the spear is all about.
It's a rallying symbol
for the loony fringe.
- Oh, just what we need,
another Adolf Hitler.
- Oh, don't joke
about things like that.
If we have another world war,
we won't be watching
the Flintstones,
we'll be the Flintstones.
- Paraphrase Albert Einstein?
I'm impressed.
So... are we in or not?
Well, fax Sir Desmond
at the Society
and tell him the good news.
- Man, too bad
the contest ain't today.
With sets like these,
I'd rack up ten every ride.
- Yeah, but if everything
goes as planned,
you may not be around
for the contest.
- Lyle Decker is sponsoring
the surfing contest?
- With his wife Hilda, yes.
It's unbelievable.
- What?
- Well, don't you find that
an incredible coincidence?
Look, the only
two suspects we have,
and suddenly they're
conveniently linked together
by a charity event.
- Oh, it gets better.
Dave the Wave
is on the guest list
of the party at Decker's villa.
- Party?
What party?
Am I the only one around here
who's out of the loop?
- We gotta get invited
to Decker's party.
Then we can give the villa
a quick once-over,
see if he's got the spear
or knows anything about
the robbery.
- Easier said than done.
- Can I say something?
- I don't think it should be
too hard to crash the party.
- No, no, no, there's a better
way, do you want me to tell you?
- Only if
you put your hand down,
it's not junior high, you know.
- Sorry, my mom's
always getting on me for that.
- Joanna, cut to the chase.
- Well, this is
a charity event, right?
So let's be charitable.
- How are you?
Welcome, welcome.
Hello.
How are you? Welcome,
welcome, good to see you.
I have to meet this woman.
- Everybody,
your attention please?
I hope you're enjoying
yourselves.
Wonderful,
I have a surprise for you.
A fashion show
featuring the latest
in hot and funky beachwear
brought to you by Acapulco Heat.
- Will you check that out?
- Nice.
- Ahh, I love Ejuwina.
- She would've made
a great thief.
- Still can.
Bingo.
How good were you?
- The best.
Well, I may be
a little rusty, but...
voila, as the French say.
- Damn.
Sorry to disappoint you.
Perhaps you'd like to tell me
what you're looking for.
- Oh, the bathroom, we only
came in here for our clothes.
- I don't think so.
Dispose of them.
- We're not thieves, I swear.
We really were looking for
the bathroom to get dressed.
- Behind the painting?
- That's my fault,
Mr. Decker.
I'm very passionate
about Mexican abstract,
and this one is beautiful.
- We didn't know there was
a safe behind the painting
or an alarm.
Coming through.
There you are.
I've been looking
all over for you guys.
Just be cool.
Lyle, dude, what's going on?
- None of your business.
- Now, is that any way
to speak to an old buddy?
- What do you want, Kelly?
- Well, these two babes are
friends of mine.
If they've done anything
to tick you off,
I'm sure they didn't mean it.
Right, guys?
- Absolutely.
- Ask your wife, we came here
to support your charity.
- Charity is as charity does,
I always say.
- Well, perhaps
you're right, Mr. Kelly.
It'd be a shame to spoil
such a lovely party
over a... minor
misunderstanding.
Please, accept
my apologies, ladies?
- Oh, gladly.
- Thank you.
Now, if you follow me,
you can join us for drinks.
- I owe you one.
- Me too, Mr. Kelly.
- I got dibs
on the French babe-age.
Man, she's to die for.
- Forget it, Brownie,
she's YMA on a big day.
Ladies, it was
a lovely presentation.
- Wasn't it though?
- Hilda, what're you doing?
Can't you see I'm busy?
- Doing what?
Humiliating me?
- Maybe I should go...
- No-no-no-no.
You stay right where you are.
Hilda, you're drunk as usual.
- Not so drunk that I don't know
what's going on between you two.
- All right,
just stop it, come on.
- Oh, it's true...
You're pathetic, you know that?
You think you're
gonna rule the world
with this bunch of misfits?
Well, let me tell you
something, Mr. Lyle Decker...
- All right, now, just stop it.
Hilda, stop it.
Gentlemen, why don't you
take my wife upstairs
and see that she gets
some rest in her bedroom?
- Don't you touch me,
let go of me.
- I'm sorry,
sometimes Hilda doesn't realize
what a spectacle she makes of
herself when she drinks.
- That's okay.
Oh, could you
excuse me one moment?
- Sure... come back,
won't you?
My friends, please, come, come.
First of all,
I want to thank you all
for coming here today,
taking time out of
your busy schedule,
I appreciate that,
I'm very grateful.
As you know, this is
a very special occasion today.
Our movement is gaining
momentum all over the world.
Every day, I get hundreds of
phone calls and letters
from people just like you.
Ready to rally to our cause.
The day has finally
come for us as supremest
to take back control of
the world from the minorities!
- Yes?
- Tommy, I found something.
- What?
- A shipping manifest.
It belongs to a freighter,
Island Queen, Panama City.
- That's where the spear
was stolen from.
I don't suppose
it was listed in the cargo.
- No, but listen to this.
There is a shipment
of Panamian art
supposed to go
to Mrs. Hilda Decker
to be delivered
at the old bull ring,
of all places.
- Bingo.
Okay, I'll pass it on to Joanna,
now get out of there, okay?
- Okay.
- I've got it, Tommy,
the Island Queen.
Docks in PV tomorrow afternoon.
- That's bull.
Nicole wouldn't just leave
without telling me.
- Well, that's...
That's between the two of you.
All I know is that she left with
a gentleman in a Mercedes...
dark blue, wasn't it?
- I would still like
to take a look around.
- Of course, be my guest.
Take her wherever
she wants to go, all right?
- Ahh.
- Oh... my mistake.
- Pardon?
- I should know better
than to lock a French woman
in a wine cellar.
- How dare you lock me
in anywhere.
- Oh, temper temper.
You want temper?
I'll give you temper.
- Now...
mmm.
No more games.
Who are you?
What're you doing here?
Tell me, or they will find you
washed up on the beach.
"Acapulco Heat"
will be right back.
I will tell you nothing,
not until these morons
let me go.
- All right, now, let's have it.
Who are you?
Why are you going
through my things?
Check it out.
Sounds like I'm not
the only unwelcome guest.
- Drop it.
- I don't think so.
- So help me, I'll shoot her.
- Go ahead,
she means diddly-squat to me.
- Thanks a lot.
- You're bluffing.
Well, there's
one way to find out.
- Please, you don't
want to shoot...
- Well, you certainly
took your sweet time.
- I've dreamed of this moment
too long to rush it.
I also wanted to make her
sweat a little.
- Charming.
What did I ever do to you?
- Personally?
Nothing.
But dozens like you
have made so many trips
to my husband's bedroom,
you've worn down the carpet.
- He wasn't my type.
- Is he your type?
- Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey, hold it.
We made need her later.
- For what?
- To pay off Ramirez.
I kind of promised him
I'd have a couple of babes
lined up when he docked.
- You're a pimp now?
- Hey, it's a guy thing.
Trust me, he just
needs a little TLC,
just like the rest of us.
- I'm gonna hate this waiting.
- Me too.
- Look, maybe we should
hit the villa now
instead of waiting
till after dark.
- No, no, that's a bad idea.
I mean, somebody may see us.
And, uh...
- Yeah, right, but...
- Well, besides, I...
- What? Come on,
come on, talk to me.
You got one of those
gut feelings, right?
- Eh, either that
or a bad case of border chilis.
- Oh, join the club, I've had
heartburn since lunch.
Dumb salsa... tastes great,
but eats a hole
right through your...
- Joanna.
Look, I've learned to trust
your judgment, okay?
If you say wait, we'll wait.
- But if Nicole's prisoner,
then she's in danger.
- I don't even know
if I'm right,
I just have
this... this...
- Look, premonition,
sixth sense, whatever.
It works for you,
I'll take it to the bank.
- What if...
What if we steal the spear
and offer to trade it
for Nicole?
What do you think?
- What do I think?
- I know, it's a dumb idea.
- What I think is
I'm glad you decided
to stop shucking corn
and move to the big city.
- Hey, I never shucked corn.
Well, not a lot.
- Now, remember,
just show Ramirez the money.
Don't give it to him until
we get the spear.
- What, do you think
he's going to rip us off?
- Why not? He's already
proven he's dishonest
by lying on the cargo manifest.
Maybe his greed doesn't
end there.
- It will if he's dead.
- Hmm, true.
How're you gonna take delivery?
- You'll see.
- What are you talking about?
I'm not going with you.
That's what I got you for.
- Brownie, shame on you.
Did you forget to tell her?
- Tell me what?
- There's been a change
of plan, sweetheart.
- What the hell is
going on here?
- You've been set up.
Can't you see that?
- Set up?
What are you talking about?
- Sit down.
- How dare you...
You water-logged Neanderthal,
let go of me.
- Water-logged Neanderthal?
I like it, it fits.
Calm down, my love,
there's no reason
to go ballistic over
a friendly little double-cross.
- You conniving bastard.
- Probably.
- You're trading me for her.
- Bingo.
- What about Panama City
and all that moonlight
and roses charm you fed me?
- Garbage, I'm ashamed to say.
- You're not ashamed
of anything.
- Shallow is as shallow does.
Lock her in the garage, Sal.
- Why waste any time?
Why not kill me right here?
- Oh, sweetie,
how could you ever think
I could do something like that?
- Because you cannot
afford to let me live.
- Bastard.
And you, don't get
too comfortable.
You're next.
- You mean,
we won't always have Paris?
- To Paris.
- Forget Paris.
I am more interested
in our future,
or was Hilda right?
My future is only temporary?
- Life's only temporary.
Why should relationships be
any different?
- Hmm, live hard, die young,
and be buried with
a good-looking corpse, right?
- Works for me.
What about you?
- Only my wish was there was
something I look forward to.
No, I meant,
what about your business?
- C'est la vie.
- And your partner?
- Cat will understand.
There was never enough money
for two, anyway.
- So we have a deal?
- On one condition.
- Name it.
- You do not kill me
until we spend the millions
you'll get from the spear.
- A boy just delivered this,
says it's from Nicole.
- Put it on the wall.
- Hi, guys, as you can see,
I am at Lyle's villa.
- What is she doing there
with a glass of champagne?
- Cat, you must be wondering
what I am doing here.
- Wow, you guys are
really in sync.
- I'm ashamed to say this,
but I was too chicken
to face you
and tell you the truth.
- Truth?
- I'm quitting Acapulco Heat.
- I'll bet someone's
making her say that.
- I know you must think that
I'm being forced to say this,
but I'm not.
This is all my idea.
Kelly's taking me to Paris.
And since I've always
wanted to live there,
and nowhere else,
I know you will understand
why I must leave so suddenly.
Au revoir, my friends.
- "Since I've always wanted
to live there and nowhere else."
what a crock.
- Nicole knew
we'd pick up on that.
- She must really be
in big trouble.
Stay tuned, the HEAT team
will be right back.
- Okay, we're going in.
- I read you.
- What is she doing with them?
- Good question.
Where's Lyle Decker?
- "Curiouser and curiouser,"
said Alice.
- Yeah, but this ain't
Wonderland.
- Don't do this, Ramirez.
I planned this,
I came up with the money.
- Shut up!
You got a choice.
Deal with Kelly
or pick an undertaker.
- Deal.
What about her?
- After we finish
having our fun with her,
pass her over to the picadores
or the crew.
Let's move the crate.
- It's not too late, Hector.
- Late for what?
- Work with me...
And I'll make you
rich and happy.
- Yeah, huh?
I'll take my chances with Kelly.
- No, please...
Let me out!
- Hey, get that five million
dollars out of my van.
Okay?
- Good job.
- What's all that
screaming about?
- I don't know,
we couldn't see what happened.
There's no time to find out,
they're leaving.
Look, keep this line open,
because, if these jokers are
headed back to the villa,
we might need your help.
Okay, let's go back to the car.
- What do you want me to do?
- No, nothing right now.
Look, just jump in your car,
head for the villa,
and, uh, stay in touch.
- Uh-huh?
That's great.
Nice going, guys.
They're on their way.
We did it, baby.
Old Kelly's pulled it off.
- Well, let us celebrate.
I'll get some champagne.
- Mmm.
Bring two bottles.
This is one party
I don't want to end.
- Come on, come on,
where are you, Joanna?
- Hi, you've reached
Acapulco Beach Fashion.
We're not in at the moment,
but if you leave
your name and number,
we'll call you right back.
Damn!
Joanna, this is Nicole.
Tell Cat and Tony that
Kelly's men have the spear...
- That's too bad.
You and me, we...
We could've had fun together.
But now you're just
a meal for the crabs.
- Hey, you in position, Joanna?
- Roger.
- Okay, now wait 30 seconds
and then do what I told you.
- You got it... oh, Tommy?
Not now, Wilma.
- But I...
- I said not now.
- Okay, Fred,
don't say I didn't
try to tell you.
- Hey, what's the matter
with you... you blind
or something?
Didn't you see me coming?
- Shut up... what difference
does that make?
You don't own this damn road.
- You're crazy, don't you know
anything about right of way?
- That's bull...
- Oh...
- Who said... who said
you could drive my truck?
- My car wouldn't start...
I tried to tell you, but you
cut me off.
- Oh.
- Tommy, not now.
- Yeah, but look at it,
it's all crunched in.
- Oh, how would you know?
Your whole truck's
one big fender-bender.
- Hello?
Hello?
The villa? Nicole?
Now, we're running out of time,
so get with it.
- All right, all right,
you stay here
and don't put any more
dents in my truck.
- Oh, how would you know
if I did?
- You ever do any surfing?
- No.
- Oh, that's too bad.
You don't know
what you're missing.
- I think I will survive.
- You know what, all my life,
I've had this dream.
It's summer, and a bunch of us
spend the day hanging out
at the beach.
Waxing our boards,
dreaming of this
giant set of waves
that'll give us the ride
of our lives.
- And?
- Then one Monday,
Big Monday, we called it,
it happened.
Monster set.
Each wave bigger
and more perfect than the last.
Pure heaven.
After that,
everything that we had done
or were going to do just
didn't matter anymore.
Because we had lived our dream
and experienced perfection.
- Is there a point
to all of this?
- Today's my Big Monday.
- Is he coming?
- Yep, alone.
- Okay, you take him,
while I go and find Nicole.
- Sorry it took so long.
- Hey!
- Wouldn't shoot me
in the back, would you?
You...
you stole my... dream...
- Gun, Hilda.
- It's not true, you know?
I mean, about the spear.
Having it doesn't mean you can
rule the world.
- The gun.
The HEAT team
will be right back.
- Oh, no!
- Is something wrong?
- Worse than wrong.
- What? Like what?
- This spear is a fake.
- Impossible, the crate came
right from the ship.
It looks perfect.
- I don't care.
I looked up the history
of the spear on my computer,
and... and...
- Right, nice try, Joanna.
- No, I'm serious.
The genuine spear has
three rings.
- Sort of like
a secondhand artifact?
- Congratulations,
you really had us going there.
- I did, didn't I?
Ahh, the spear is beautiful,
isn't it?
- If you are into spears, it is.
But for scaring me,
I am deducting
your share for my welfare.
- Hey, no fair... I was kidding.
- I'm not, get her money.
I need to fix my truck.
- Junk it, that's the fix.
- I know how to make it
all better.
And it won't cost you a dime.
- Yeah, how?
- First, remove the floorboard.
- What?
- So your legs and feet can
touch the ground.
- My legs and...
- Yeah.
- Wait...
- "The Flintstones"!
Yabba-dabba doo!
- Shut up, Wilma.
- I was gonna suggest
you do something with the spear.
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."...
- Hold it!
♪ Ah, can you feel it
♪ Burn inside
♪ Yeah
♪ Makin' me hazy
♪ Wet fingers touchin' mine
♪ Makin' me crazy
♪ Out on the street
♪ I feel the heat
♪ Deep in the darkest night
♪ I feel the motion
♪ Keep all my love alive
♪ Come to the ocean
♪ Out on the street
♪ I feel the heat
- Watch out for the laser beams.
We break one of these beams,
it's over.
Remember, like we practiced.
Come on, come on.
Good, good.
You go on this side.
Easy. Easy.
The case is pressure sensitive.
Careful.
Careful. Careful.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now...
you ready?
One... two... three!
Okay... easy.
Easy.
Easy.
Slowly. Slowly.
Go, go, go, go!
- Boy, you'd make
a great dad, Tommy.
Don't start with me.
- I mean it.
Wouldn't he?
- Oh, absolutely.
- All right, I know I'm gonna
regret this, but why?
- Well, if you can love an ugly,
old piece of junk like that,
just think how you'd feel about
a cute, little baby in diapers.
- Very funny.
Come on, put that down
and help us.
- Oh, just a sec.
Okay if I ask you
something personal?
- How personal?
- Okay, when you guys were kids,
who was your favorite
family on TV?
- Well, believe it or not,
I loved the Bradys.
But the Partridge family
were pretty cool too.
- Yuck.
- You didn't like those shows?
- Nah.
Too syrupy for me.
Both of 'em.
Now, the Flintstones...
that's entertainment.
- You'd want Fred and Wilma
as your mom and dad?
- Who said anything
about them being my folks?
- I'll get it.
Hey, listen to this.
Sir Desmond Ashford,
director of the London Society
of Antiquities,
wants to hire us.
- To do what?
- Uh, find something
called the spear of destiny.
- Oh, isn't that the, uh...
- It's an ancient artifact.
A Roman soldier supposedly
stabbed Jesus Christ with it
while he was on the cross.
- Hey, let me see that.
Says it was stolen
from a museum in Panama.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Society thinks it's either here
or on the way.
- Any suspects?
- Two maybes.
Lyle Decker, who's a guru
to a bunch of militants,
and, um...
oh, David Kelly,
better known as Dave the Wave.
- The surfer.
- Yeah.
Former world champ.
Now over the hill.
- Hey, there's a surfing contest
north of here in Sayulita.
Starts Saturday.
Charity event.
- Nice cover.
- Speaking of charity,
how much is the Society
willing to pay us?
- 5,000 as a retainer
and...
20,000 if we recover the spear.
- Well, they've got my vote.
- Surfers, militants...
What's the connection?
- Well, the spear.
Decker wants it to rally
supporters to his cause,
and Kelly to sell it
for big bucks.
- They're kidding, right?
- No.
According to the fax, that's
what the spear is all about.
It's a rallying symbol
for the loony fringe.
- Oh, just what we need,
another Adolf Hitler.
- Oh, don't joke
about things like that.
If we have another world war,
we won't be watching
the Flintstones,
we'll be the Flintstones.
- Paraphrase Albert Einstein?
I'm impressed.
So... are we in or not?
Well, fax Sir Desmond
at the Society
and tell him the good news.
- Man, too bad
the contest ain't today.
With sets like these,
I'd rack up ten every ride.
- Yeah, but if everything
goes as planned,
you may not be around
for the contest.
- Lyle Decker is sponsoring
the surfing contest?
- With his wife Hilda, yes.
It's unbelievable.
- What?
- Well, don't you find that
an incredible coincidence?
Look, the only
two suspects we have,
and suddenly they're
conveniently linked together
by a charity event.
- Oh, it gets better.
Dave the Wave
is on the guest list
of the party at Decker's villa.
- Party?
What party?
Am I the only one around here
who's out of the loop?
- We gotta get invited
to Decker's party.
Then we can give the villa
a quick once-over,
see if he's got the spear
or knows anything about
the robbery.
- Easier said than done.
- Can I say something?
- I don't think it should be
too hard to crash the party.
- No, no, no, there's a better
way, do you want me to tell you?
- Only if
you put your hand down,
it's not junior high, you know.
- Sorry, my mom's
always getting on me for that.
- Joanna, cut to the chase.
- Well, this is
a charity event, right?
So let's be charitable.
- How are you?
Welcome, welcome.
Hello.
How are you? Welcome,
welcome, good to see you.
I have to meet this woman.
- Everybody,
your attention please?
I hope you're enjoying
yourselves.
Wonderful,
I have a surprise for you.
A fashion show
featuring the latest
in hot and funky beachwear
brought to you by Acapulco Heat.
- Will you check that out?
- Nice.
- Ahh, I love Ejuwina.
- She would've made
a great thief.
- Still can.
Bingo.
How good were you?
- The best.
Well, I may be
a little rusty, but...
voila, as the French say.
- Damn.
Sorry to disappoint you.
Perhaps you'd like to tell me
what you're looking for.
- Oh, the bathroom, we only
came in here for our clothes.
- I don't think so.
Dispose of them.
- We're not thieves, I swear.
We really were looking for
the bathroom to get dressed.
- Behind the painting?
- That's my fault,
Mr. Decker.
I'm very passionate
about Mexican abstract,
and this one is beautiful.
- We didn't know there was
a safe behind the painting
or an alarm.
Coming through.
There you are.
I've been looking
all over for you guys.
Just be cool.
Lyle, dude, what's going on?
- None of your business.
- Now, is that any way
to speak to an old buddy?
- What do you want, Kelly?
- Well, these two babes are
friends of mine.
If they've done anything
to tick you off,
I'm sure they didn't mean it.
Right, guys?
- Absolutely.
- Ask your wife, we came here
to support your charity.
- Charity is as charity does,
I always say.
- Well, perhaps
you're right, Mr. Kelly.
It'd be a shame to spoil
such a lovely party
over a... minor
misunderstanding.
Please, accept
my apologies, ladies?
- Oh, gladly.
- Thank you.
Now, if you follow me,
you can join us for drinks.
- I owe you one.
- Me too, Mr. Kelly.
- I got dibs
on the French babe-age.
Man, she's to die for.
- Forget it, Brownie,
she's YMA on a big day.
Ladies, it was
a lovely presentation.
- Wasn't it though?
- Hilda, what're you doing?
Can't you see I'm busy?
- Doing what?
Humiliating me?
- Maybe I should go...
- No-no-no-no.
You stay right where you are.
Hilda, you're drunk as usual.
- Not so drunk that I don't know
what's going on between you two.
- All right,
just stop it, come on.
- Oh, it's true...
You're pathetic, you know that?
You think you're
gonna rule the world
with this bunch of misfits?
Well, let me tell you
something, Mr. Lyle Decker...
- All right, now, just stop it.
Hilda, stop it.
Gentlemen, why don't you
take my wife upstairs
and see that she gets
some rest in her bedroom?
- Don't you touch me,
let go of me.
- I'm sorry,
sometimes Hilda doesn't realize
what a spectacle she makes of
herself when she drinks.
- That's okay.
Oh, could you
excuse me one moment?
- Sure... come back,
won't you?
My friends, please, come, come.
First of all,
I want to thank you all
for coming here today,
taking time out of
your busy schedule,
I appreciate that,
I'm very grateful.
As you know, this is
a very special occasion today.
Our movement is gaining
momentum all over the world.
Every day, I get hundreds of
phone calls and letters
from people just like you.
Ready to rally to our cause.
The day has finally
come for us as supremest
to take back control of
the world from the minorities!
- Yes?
- Tommy, I found something.
- What?
- A shipping manifest.
It belongs to a freighter,
Island Queen, Panama City.
- That's where the spear
was stolen from.
I don't suppose
it was listed in the cargo.
- No, but listen to this.
There is a shipment
of Panamian art
supposed to go
to Mrs. Hilda Decker
to be delivered
at the old bull ring,
of all places.
- Bingo.
Okay, I'll pass it on to Joanna,
now get out of there, okay?
- Okay.
- I've got it, Tommy,
the Island Queen.
Docks in PV tomorrow afternoon.
- That's bull.
Nicole wouldn't just leave
without telling me.
- Well, that's...
That's between the two of you.
All I know is that she left with
a gentleman in a Mercedes...
dark blue, wasn't it?
- I would still like
to take a look around.
- Of course, be my guest.
Take her wherever
she wants to go, all right?
- Ahh.
- Oh... my mistake.
- Pardon?
- I should know better
than to lock a French woman
in a wine cellar.
- How dare you lock me
in anywhere.
- Oh, temper temper.
You want temper?
I'll give you temper.
- Now...
mmm.
No more games.
Who are you?
What're you doing here?
Tell me, or they will find you
washed up on the beach.
"Acapulco Heat"
will be right back.
I will tell you nothing,
not until these morons
let me go.
- All right, now, let's have it.
Who are you?
Why are you going
through my things?
Check it out.
Sounds like I'm not
the only unwelcome guest.
- Drop it.
- I don't think so.
- So help me, I'll shoot her.
- Go ahead,
she means diddly-squat to me.
- Thanks a lot.
- You're bluffing.
Well, there's
one way to find out.
- Please, you don't
want to shoot...
- Well, you certainly
took your sweet time.
- I've dreamed of this moment
too long to rush it.
I also wanted to make her
sweat a little.
- Charming.
What did I ever do to you?
- Personally?
Nothing.
But dozens like you
have made so many trips
to my husband's bedroom,
you've worn down the carpet.
- He wasn't my type.
- Is he your type?
- Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey, hold it.
We made need her later.
- For what?
- To pay off Ramirez.
I kind of promised him
I'd have a couple of babes
lined up when he docked.
- You're a pimp now?
- Hey, it's a guy thing.
Trust me, he just
needs a little TLC,
just like the rest of us.
- I'm gonna hate this waiting.
- Me too.
- Look, maybe we should
hit the villa now
instead of waiting
till after dark.
- No, no, that's a bad idea.
I mean, somebody may see us.
And, uh...
- Yeah, right, but...
- Well, besides, I...
- What? Come on,
come on, talk to me.
You got one of those
gut feelings, right?
- Eh, either that
or a bad case of border chilis.
- Oh, join the club, I've had
heartburn since lunch.
Dumb salsa... tastes great,
but eats a hole
right through your...
- Joanna.
Look, I've learned to trust
your judgment, okay?
If you say wait, we'll wait.
- But if Nicole's prisoner,
then she's in danger.
- I don't even know
if I'm right,
I just have
this... this...
- Look, premonition,
sixth sense, whatever.
It works for you,
I'll take it to the bank.
- What if...
What if we steal the spear
and offer to trade it
for Nicole?
What do you think?
- What do I think?
- I know, it's a dumb idea.
- What I think is
I'm glad you decided
to stop shucking corn
and move to the big city.
- Hey, I never shucked corn.
Well, not a lot.
- Now, remember,
just show Ramirez the money.
Don't give it to him until
we get the spear.
- What, do you think
he's going to rip us off?
- Why not? He's already
proven he's dishonest
by lying on the cargo manifest.
Maybe his greed doesn't
end there.
- It will if he's dead.
- Hmm, true.
How're you gonna take delivery?
- You'll see.
- What are you talking about?
I'm not going with you.
That's what I got you for.
- Brownie, shame on you.
Did you forget to tell her?
- Tell me what?
- There's been a change
of plan, sweetheart.
- What the hell is
going on here?
- You've been set up.
Can't you see that?
- Set up?
What are you talking about?
- Sit down.
- How dare you...
You water-logged Neanderthal,
let go of me.
- Water-logged Neanderthal?
I like it, it fits.
Calm down, my love,
there's no reason
to go ballistic over
a friendly little double-cross.
- You conniving bastard.
- Probably.
- You're trading me for her.
- Bingo.
- What about Panama City
and all that moonlight
and roses charm you fed me?
- Garbage, I'm ashamed to say.
- You're not ashamed
of anything.
- Shallow is as shallow does.
Lock her in the garage, Sal.
- Why waste any time?
Why not kill me right here?
- Oh, sweetie,
how could you ever think
I could do something like that?
- Because you cannot
afford to let me live.
- Bastard.
And you, don't get
too comfortable.
You're next.
- You mean,
we won't always have Paris?
- To Paris.
- Forget Paris.
I am more interested
in our future,
or was Hilda right?
My future is only temporary?
- Life's only temporary.
Why should relationships be
any different?
- Hmm, live hard, die young,
and be buried with
a good-looking corpse, right?
- Works for me.
What about you?
- Only my wish was there was
something I look forward to.
No, I meant,
what about your business?
- C'est la vie.
- And your partner?
- Cat will understand.
There was never enough money
for two, anyway.
- So we have a deal?
- On one condition.
- Name it.
- You do not kill me
until we spend the millions
you'll get from the spear.
- A boy just delivered this,
says it's from Nicole.
- Put it on the wall.
- Hi, guys, as you can see,
I am at Lyle's villa.
- What is she doing there
with a glass of champagne?
- Cat, you must be wondering
what I am doing here.
- Wow, you guys are
really in sync.
- I'm ashamed to say this,
but I was too chicken
to face you
and tell you the truth.
- Truth?
- I'm quitting Acapulco Heat.
- I'll bet someone's
making her say that.
- I know you must think that
I'm being forced to say this,
but I'm not.
This is all my idea.
Kelly's taking me to Paris.
And since I've always
wanted to live there,
and nowhere else,
I know you will understand
why I must leave so suddenly.
Au revoir, my friends.
- "Since I've always wanted
to live there and nowhere else."
what a crock.
- Nicole knew
we'd pick up on that.
- She must really be
in big trouble.
Stay tuned, the HEAT team
will be right back.
- Okay, we're going in.
- I read you.
- What is she doing with them?
- Good question.
Where's Lyle Decker?
- "Curiouser and curiouser,"
said Alice.
- Yeah, but this ain't
Wonderland.
- Don't do this, Ramirez.
I planned this,
I came up with the money.
- Shut up!
You got a choice.
Deal with Kelly
or pick an undertaker.
- Deal.
What about her?
- After we finish
having our fun with her,
pass her over to the picadores
or the crew.
Let's move the crate.
- It's not too late, Hector.
- Late for what?
- Work with me...
And I'll make you
rich and happy.
- Yeah, huh?
I'll take my chances with Kelly.
- No, please...
Let me out!
- Hey, get that five million
dollars out of my van.
Okay?
- Good job.
- What's all that
screaming about?
- I don't know,
we couldn't see what happened.
There's no time to find out,
they're leaving.
Look, keep this line open,
because, if these jokers are
headed back to the villa,
we might need your help.
Okay, let's go back to the car.
- What do you want me to do?
- No, nothing right now.
Look, just jump in your car,
head for the villa,
and, uh, stay in touch.
- Uh-huh?
That's great.
Nice going, guys.
They're on their way.
We did it, baby.
Old Kelly's pulled it off.
- Well, let us celebrate.
I'll get some champagne.
- Mmm.
Bring two bottles.
This is one party
I don't want to end.
- Come on, come on,
where are you, Joanna?
- Hi, you've reached
Acapulco Beach Fashion.
We're not in at the moment,
but if you leave
your name and number,
we'll call you right back.
Damn!
Joanna, this is Nicole.
Tell Cat and Tony that
Kelly's men have the spear...
- That's too bad.
You and me, we...
We could've had fun together.
But now you're just
a meal for the crabs.
- Hey, you in position, Joanna?
- Roger.
- Okay, now wait 30 seconds
and then do what I told you.
- You got it... oh, Tommy?
Not now, Wilma.
- But I...
- I said not now.
- Okay, Fred,
don't say I didn't
try to tell you.
- Hey, what's the matter
with you... you blind
or something?
Didn't you see me coming?
- Shut up... what difference
does that make?
You don't own this damn road.
- You're crazy, don't you know
anything about right of way?
- That's bull...
- Oh...
- Who said... who said
you could drive my truck?
- My car wouldn't start...
I tried to tell you, but you
cut me off.
- Oh.
- Tommy, not now.
- Yeah, but look at it,
it's all crunched in.
- Oh, how would you know?
Your whole truck's
one big fender-bender.
- Hello?
Hello?
The villa? Nicole?
Now, we're running out of time,
so get with it.
- All right, all right,
you stay here
and don't put any more
dents in my truck.
- Oh, how would you know
if I did?
- You ever do any surfing?
- No.
- Oh, that's too bad.
You don't know
what you're missing.
- I think I will survive.
- You know what, all my life,
I've had this dream.
It's summer, and a bunch of us
spend the day hanging out
at the beach.
Waxing our boards,
dreaming of this
giant set of waves
that'll give us the ride
of our lives.
- And?
- Then one Monday,
Big Monday, we called it,
it happened.
Monster set.
Each wave bigger
and more perfect than the last.
Pure heaven.
After that,
everything that we had done
or were going to do just
didn't matter anymore.
Because we had lived our dream
and experienced perfection.
- Is there a point
to all of this?
- Today's my Big Monday.
- Is he coming?
- Yep, alone.
- Okay, you take him,
while I go and find Nicole.
- Sorry it took so long.
- Hey!
- Wouldn't shoot me
in the back, would you?
You...
you stole my... dream...
- Gun, Hilda.
- It's not true, you know?
I mean, about the spear.
Having it doesn't mean you can
rule the world.
- The gun.
The HEAT team
will be right back.
- Oh, no!
- Is something wrong?
- Worse than wrong.
- What? Like what?
- This spear is a fake.
- Impossible, the crate came
right from the ship.
It looks perfect.
- I don't care.
I looked up the history
of the spear on my computer,
and... and...
- Right, nice try, Joanna.
- No, I'm serious.
The genuine spear has
three rings.
- Sort of like
a secondhand artifact?
- Congratulations,
you really had us going there.
- I did, didn't I?
Ahh, the spear is beautiful,
isn't it?
- If you are into spears, it is.
But for scaring me,
I am deducting
your share for my welfare.
- Hey, no fair... I was kidding.
- I'm not, get her money.
I need to fix my truck.
- Junk it, that's the fix.
- I know how to make it
all better.
And it won't cost you a dime.
- Yeah, how?
- First, remove the floorboard.
- What?
- So your legs and feet can
touch the ground.
- My legs and...
- Yeah.
- Wait...
- "The Flintstones"!
Yabba-dabba doo!
- Shut up, Wilma.
- I was gonna suggest
you do something with the spear.