Acapulco H.E.A.T. (1998–…): Season 1, Episode 24 - Code Name: The Stolen Leg - full transcript
Tonight on "Acapulco H.E.A.T."
- Hey, anyone home?
- Stop him!
He's a thief!
Voilà.
- One sound and you're dead.
- ♪ Oh can you feel it?
♪ Burn inside
♪ Yeah
♪ Sweat
♪ Dripping down my spine
♪ Making it hazy
♪ Wet
♪ Fingers touching mine
♪ Making me crazy
♪ I'm on the street
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ Deep
♪ In the darkest night
♪ I feel the motion
♪ Keep
♪ All my love alive
♪ Come to the ocean
♪ I'm on the street
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
- You're wasting your time,
my wallet is in the hotel safe.
- We don't want your wallet.
- Then what do you want?
- Turn around.
- What's the matter, don't you
have the guts to face me?
- Just do it, ace.
Wait, we are not petty thieves.
- A million dollars.
Wow!
That means the winner get's
about 200,000, maybe more.
- Not bad for a few hours work.
- Don't forget about
all the years of blood,
sweat and practice
the pros go through
to get to that level.
- It's called paying your dues.
- Still a lot of money for
hitting a ball back and forth.
- Just think, Tommy,
if you had taken up tennis
instead of martial arts that
200,000 could be yours.
- Thank you
for sharing that with me.
- Hey, anyone home?
I'm looking
for the Acapulco H.E.A.T. guys.
- Well, you found them.
What can we do for you?
- I want you to find
something for me.
That is what you do isn't it?
Find stolen stuff.
- Among other things.
What was stolen?
- What's it look like?
My leg, of course.
- Are you serious?
- What do you think?
Think I enjoy hobbling
around on crutches?
- There's no need to be rude.
- We appreciate
your problem, Mr...
- Sims.
Tully Sims.
If I was rude, I'm sorry.
It's been a rough day.
First some jerk rips off my leg.
Then the bozos running
the tennis tournament
won't move my opening
round match back.
- You're playing
in the tournament?
- Senior amateur, sure.
Why not?
You think 'cause I only have one
leg I should quit having fun?
Maybe crawl into a hole and...
Here I go again.
Mouthing off.
- That's all right, Mr. Sims.
I understand.
My Grampa Jim, he lost a leg
and he wouldn't quit either.
- Can't you get another one?
- Not in time
for the tournament, no.
- Do you have any idea
who stole it?
- Two guys in ski masks.
They jumped me while I was
walking back from the beach.
Thought they were after
my money but... whacko!
One of 'em nailed me
from behind.
When I woke up
I was Peg Leg Pete,
How awful!
How could anyone be so mean?
- Beats me.
I don't know how I'm going
to face my sponsor.
He's already bent over
backwards to help me.
Now it looks like
all his money and time
is going down the tubes.
- I'm sure he'll understand.
- You don't know Elliot Roth,
he's not exactly
the understanding type.
- The Elliot Roth?
The Elliot Roth,
the artist and sculptor?
- The same.
That's why you gotta help me.
I don't get my leg back,
Elliot's likely to take
a chainsaw to the other one.
I'm willing to pay you.
I've got a thousand bucks
in the bank and...
- Excuse us for a minute, okay?
Let's help him.
- Joanna, we cannot
help everyon...
- No, please, let me finish.
I know this sounds crazy,
but this is my chance to payback
Grampa Jim.
- Grampa Jim?
- My mom's dad.
He helped raise me
and my brother
when my dad was in Vietnam.
He was the sweetest,
kindest person who ever lived.
- Joanna, what does this have to
do with finding this man's leg?
- Everything.
Grampa Jim helped me,
now I have to help Mr. Sims.
That's the way it works.
Kindness, I mean.
Someone helps you,
then you help someone else,
then they help...
- Okay, you win.
We'll help him.
I mean how hard can it be
to find a wooden leg in a town
were everyone wears
shorts and bikinis?
- Well, whoever attacked Tully
must have know his habits
otherwise they wouldn't have
been lying in wait for him.
- I'm more interested in
why they wanted his leg.
I mean, artificial legs
aren't like baseball caps,
one size fits all.
- Speak for yourself, I can
never find a cap small enough.
- Really? Even the one's with
the adjustable strap in back?
- No, they just blow off and...
- Okay.
Okay.
Enough about the caps already.
We got a leg to find here.
- Well, does that put us
a leg up or a leg down?
- What?
- Oh, definitely a leg up.
You know, like a glass
half full.
- Ha-ha-ha.
That's very funny,
that's very funny, yeah.
Now can we get serious a minute?
- What is your problem today?
Why are you so serious?
I mean you...
You gotta lighten up.
Have a few laughs, you know?
It's like Shakespeare once said,
"A leg, a leg,
my kingdom for a leg."
- Hey, wait a minute,
isn't it a horse?
- Uh, no. I think it was
King Richard III, actually.
- Surrounded by Gracie Allens.
Hey, anything?
- Jorge said when he was
cleaning the tennis courts
this morning he saw two men,
one was very tall and he
was carrying a big black bag.
- Did he see their faces?
- No, they were turned
away from him.
- Okay, okay, let's check that
beach bar and see if that
bartender can put a face
to any of those guys.
- God, it must be awful.
- What?
- Losing your leg.
Or any part of your body.
What would you want to lose?
If you had
to lose something I mean.
- Oh, five pounds.
- Now, tell me,
what do you think?
- It's different, Mr. Roth.
But interesting,
very interesting.
- Hm, really?
- Yeah.
- It's a piece of crap
and you know it.
Would you like to see me turn it
into a $100,000 worth of art?
Voilà.
What price genius, huh?
- Hi, can I talk to you?
- Yeah, sure.
What about?
- I'm Paula Forrest.
This is my photographer,
Ed Rhodes.
We're with
"Sports World" Magazine.
Tully Sims says you guys
are helping him
recover his stolen leg.
- Yeah, we're trying.
- Do you have any information
that might help us?
- No. But, well, we're here to
cover the tennis tournament
and one-legged player's
news enough,
but when he gets
his leg ripped off
that's a major
human interest story.
- Oh, I'm sorry but anything we
turn up is strictly private.
- Doctor-patient
confidentiality.
I understand.
- Well, yeah unless you
can get Mr Sims to waive
the privilege in which case
we'd be glad to share
whatever information
we have with you.
- Thanks, I'll see
what I can do.
- All right.
- Bye, guys.
Oh, I'd be glad to share any
information I have with you.
I'd be glad to share any
information I have with you too.
How about you join us?
- Of course, mi casa...
Es su casa.
- Yeah, have your fun.
- Hey, voilà.
Which one do you prefer?
- I, uh...
Mr. Roth, can we
talk about my leg?
- What did you find it?
- No, but I hired someone to
look for it.
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
You heard of them?
- Vaguely.
I know you're bummed out
about the leg
but to hire a bunch of misfits
to go hunt it down,
I mean, that's really way
out there, sport.
That's really way out there.
- Well, how else am I going to
find it, Mr. Roth?
And I got to find it.
Else all that money you spent
on me is down the toilet.
- You're all about the money.
I did it for you, sport.
So you could enter
the tournament
and have a chance to win.
- But that's just it,
I mean, how can I win
if I don't get my leg back?
- Oh, don't worry.
It's gonna show up somewhere
along the line.
It's not good to anybody else.
Look, I've got to get these
framed for my agent.
If anything happens
you give me a buzz, all right?
You keep me posted, all right?
- All right.
- All right.
- So, as far as you know,
none of the pros
hold a grudge against Mr. Sims?
- No.
- Hey, Tommy.
- Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Any news?
- Not yet, how 'bout you?
- Well, nothing that's going to
win me a Pulitzer.
According to everyone we've
talked to, Tully Sims
ranks right up there
with the Fairy Godmother.
I think walking on water
is imminent.
- We've been getting
the same feedback.
Everyone thinks what happened
is a crying shame.
They'd like to lynch whoever
ran off with his leg.
- That's not what
I'm hearing from L.A.
- Really?
- I was talking to some
of the players
who were at the Malibu pro-am.
They say Tully's a lush.
- You're kidding?
- No, my editor's
heard the same thing.
I guess that Tully's
fine for awhile
and then he just
goes out on a binge.
Shall we sit down?
- Yeah.
- You know, that's probably
where he is now.
- That's funny, I never
read him for a drunk.
- Me either.
I realized he had a short fuse,
but, hey, so does Nicole.
No one ever stole
one of her legs.
- Your partner has
an artificial leg?
- She doesn't,
it's just an inside joke.
- Oh.
- Courtesy of Gracie Allen.
- Don't forget Richard III.
- Yeah, look, I got a theory
about Tully's leg.
Now what if the person
that stole it
wasn't trying
to get back at him?
- Who then?
- His sponsor Elliot Roth.
I mean, I hear
that guy makes enemies
faster than McDonalds
makes French Fries.
- You know Mr. Roth?
- No, not personally.
He's a brilliant artist though.
- I agree.
Especially his sculptures.
- Is he interested in sports?
- I wouldn't know.
I wouldn't think so,
the guy's not exactly a jock.
- Well, still worth
looking into.
- Let us know if you come up
with anything, okay?
- Okay.
- Bye.
- See ya.
- What the heck are you doing?
King Richard III.
- What?
- Read up on your Shakespeare.
The guy, he had a hump
on his back.
- Tommy, I don't believe it.
You actually made a funny.
I'm proud of you.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hey, what's up?
- Tommy wants me to run
a profile check on Elliot Roth.
- Are you looking
for anything special?
- Yes...
something that will tell us
why a man who's not interested
in sports would sponsor
a one-legged tennis player.
But look at this Roth
masterpiece, sold for 83,000.
Looks like a man
kissing a blue rock.
Heh, "Octopus Caught
in a Whirlpool",
pft, sold for 100,000.
That was without the frame.
Oh, I know the name
for this one...
"Sick on the Sidewalk."
- Hi, honeys, I'm home.
Where have you been?
- At the beach with Paula.
- Uh-huh.
- No, no, no.
Don't give me no "uh-huhs."
All right, this was
strictly business.
Ed Rhodes was taking photos of...
Stop it.
Was taking photos of Tully
for Paula's article
in "Sports World"
so, you know, the readers can
see how well he's holding up.
Crusty old devil.
- What's the matter,
he give you some static?
- Yeah, he said he'd hold up
a lot better
if we found his damn leg.
Course he didn't actually
use the word damn.
- I hope you told him
we're doing all we can.
- Of course I did.
I told him we put the word
out all over town.
I said we checked with the cops,
the doctors,
the hospitals,
the whole enchilada.
But he's still not satisfied.
- Hey, guys!
I've come up with something.
What?
- I'm working on Roth's profile,
the guy's got a record.
- Ooh, art theft, burglary.
Five years for forging
old masterpieces.
- That's quite a crime sheet
for an artist whose work
now sells for hundreds of
thousands of dollars.
- But no help to us.
I mean, forgery has nothing
to do with stealing a fake leg.
- Especially when Roth's
sponsoring the guy
who's wearing it.
My Uncle Jo-Jo
was just like him.
Drank until he
didn't feel it no more
and then he had
to gamble to get high.
Lucky he didn't
hear about drugs.
Heh, his paintings
look like he did.
Yeah, some people think
that drugs induce,
free their artistic skills.
I don't know.
Mostly you just get a stoned
drunk artist with a headache
and a habit
Heh, that's very profound, Cat.
Look, that's Tully.
So, that's the connection
between Tully and Roth.
- Hm.
86.6 Proof alcohol
is what it is.
Tully went AA and dried out.
Now, he wants to sober up
the rest of the world.
- Well, not exactly a slam dunk.
But...
- What?
- Nah, too much of a stretch.
- Oh, tell us anyway.
We're used to your...
stretches.
- Well, I was thinking...
what if it wasn't
the leg he was after.
- Hm? Say it again for
the cheap seats.
- What if Roth was after
something inside the leg?
You know, like a stolen painting
or some kind of rare artifact.
- Talk about the granddaddy
of all stretches.
- The guy's
a millionaire, Tommy.
Why steal what you can buy?
- For the thrill of it.
Old habits are hard to break.
- Or... maybe Roth did buy it,
but because it was stolen
he couldn't let anyone know.
Basements all over
the world are full
of stolen masterpieces.
- Either way, it couldn't
hurt to dig
a little deeper
into Roth's past.
See if you can find
a roundabout connection.
- Consider it done.
- Oh.
- Finally got rid of him, huh?
- God, talk about boring.
The guy wouldn't shut up.
- Say anything more about Roth?
- No, he was too busy gabbing
about himself.
- Senorita.
Señor.
- I sure would like to know what
the H.E.A.T. team has found out.
- There might be a way.
- Talk to me.
- According to Joanna,
she stores everything
they do on her laptop.
I was thinking...
- Steal it.
- What?
When?
You moron, how could you let
something like that happen?
Look, forget it.
I don't want to hear
about your excuses.
You get that plate back or
you're gonna become a candidate
for a headstone.
Can you believe that?
Someone broke in
and stole the back plate.
- You got visitors.
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
- Look, get rid of them.
No, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
They'll just come back.
You guard that with your life.
- Oh, hey thanks
for seeing us...
- Cut the intros.
My time is too valuable
for names.
Now...
What do you want to talk about?
- Tully Sims.
Why did you sponsor him?
I mean, everybody knows
you hate sports.
- I like the guy,
he's got juevos.
Besides, I need a tax right off.
Guy like me needs
every break he can get.
Next question.
- Do you have any
idea why someone
would want to steal his leg?
- No, next question.
- Do you think somebody took
the leg to get back at you?
- What for?
- Well, I was kind
of hoping you'd tell us.
I mean you do have
a criminal record.
- Get out.
- Hey, why don't...
- Go on, get out
before I have Carlos shoot every
one of you for trespassing.
- Junior mints, who kicked
your dog, huh?
- Go on, get out!
- What?
Come on.
- Carlos, I want this ended.
- Permanently?
- No, no, no.
First try to discourage them.
And if that doesn't work...
- Hi, Ed.
- Joanna.
Where is everybody?
- Out trying to hunt down
Tully's leg.
I'm sorry, I know it isn't funny
and I shouldn't laugh.
And I'm not.
Not really.
I mean, poor Tully.
He practiced his
heart out for this and...
but it just sounds so funny.
I mean, turning the town
upside down for a phony leg.
- I won't say anything
if you don't.
- Deal.
Now, is there anything
I can help you with?
If you want the others
I can reach them...
- No, no.
You're the one
I wanted to talk to.
- Me?
Why?
Well, I was wondering if you'd
let me take some shots of you.
Nothing fancy, candid stuff.
You have such a great look,
and the magazine's always
looking for fresh talent
for their swimsuit issue.
- You're kidding, right?
I mean, Cat's the one
with the killer body,
you should ask her to.
Hey! No!
Come back!
Stop him!
He's a thief!
Hey! Stop him!
Unh.
Oh, no.
Did he take your
purse or something?
- Darn!
What am I gonna do now?
- Don't worry,
I'll buy you a new one.
It was my fault anyways.
If I hadn't gotten in your way
or was talking to you
you probably would
have caught him.
- Don't be silly.
If it's anybody's fault
it's mine for leaving
the computer out like that.
Besides it's not the computer
so much as what's in it.
All my files...
Thank goodness I've got some
of them backed up on disk.
- Why don't you let me drive
you to the police station.
I doubt they can help you
but at least you should
file a report.
- Thanks, it's almost
closing time anyway.
He was just a kid.
Ten... maybe 12 tops.
Like I told Captain Tapia,
I didn't get more than
a quick look at him
as he was running out.
- So you can not describe him?
- How can you describe
a grain of sand on the beach?
- He was a boy, a street
kid like a million others.
I feel so stupid.
- Joanna, quit beating
yourself up.
No one is blaming you.
- I am, computers are expensive.
I should have been more careful.
- Joanna, quit worrying
about it, we'll get it back.
Cat and I put the word out
to our sources.
With any luck someone will
track that thief down.
Cheers.
See ya.
- See ya.
One sound and you're dead.
- Whatever you want, take it.
- I'm no thief, lady.
I'm here to give you
some advice.
- Go ahead.
You have my full attention.
- If you and your partners
want to stay alive
quit looking for Tully Sims leg.
- That's what this is all about?
His stolen leg?
What is it made of, solid gold?
- Never mind what it's made of.
Just do like I say.
Tell your buddies
to back off, or else.
- "Acapulco H.E.A.T."
- will return in a moment.
Why didn't you call and tell us
all this last night?
- I didn't want
to worry you guys.
There was nothing you could
have done last night.
- Except for pay Mr. Elliot
Roth a little visit.
- Look, we don't
know it was him.
I'm guessing like
you that it was.
- Well, who else could it be?
Everything points to him.
- Yes, how can we prove it?
- Sneak into his villa.
I'll bet the farm that we can
find something in there
that'll tie him into all this.
- Acapulco H.E.A.T.,
may I help you?
You do?
Oh boy, that's great,
I'll tell the others.
Thanks.
That was our friend Jorge.
Guess what?
His cousin Salazar knows
who stole my computer.
- Sorry you had to drop out
of the tournament.
But hey, look, just so the trip
is not a complete loss
why don't you... Why don't you
stay on for a few days?
Soak up the sun,
make a vacation out of it.
You've earned it, it's on me.
- That's really great
of you, Mr. Roth.
I don't know how to
thank you for all you've done.
- Forget it.
What good's money if you
can't enjoy it, right?
- Mr. Roth, you have visitors...
From "Sports World" Magazine.
- What are you nuts?
Get rid of them.
- I think you'll
want to talk with them, sir.
- Tell, them I'll be down
in a moment.
- Okay.
- Can you hang on
a little while,
while I get rid of these jerks?
- Sure.
- Wanna make yourself
a drink, go right ahead.
And if you want to take
a dip there's some
spare suits
in the upper bedroom.
- Okay.
- Thank you for taking the time
to see us, Mr. Roth.
- Cut the crap,
what's this all about?
- Oh, I think you know or you
wouldn't be talking to us.
- Before you waste our time
with a lot of denials.
Understand we know
everything about you.
- Including your
counterfeiting scheme.
- Counterfeiting?
I'm a reputable artist.
I'm a painter, a sculptor.
Oh, give it a rest, Roth.
Like my associate just said,
don't waste our time.
We didn't risk our lives
to steal the plate
without first doing
our homework.
Give us that much credit.
- All right, let me see that
plate, maybe I'll believe you.
All right, you're for real
what do you want from me?
- Your assurance that if we join
forces we're your only partners.
- Impossible, I already
have partners.
- We don't need
those jerks in L.A.
Both plates are here
and so are you.
You're the only engraver
outside of prison
who can fix the flaw
in the front faceplate.
And we have a international
network of banks and financiers
all lined up to launder
the money through.
It's a match made in heaven.
- Get rid of L.A.
That's an interesting concept.
- Does that mean you're in?
- It means I'll consider it.
Where are you staying?
- Marriott in the marina.
- I'll get back to you.
- Make it quick.
- How the hell did
my shoe get here?
What the...
- What do you think, sport?
Pretty clever.
- I don't understand.
- Oh, sure you do.
I needed a safe place
to get the plate into Mexico.
Hiding place the treasury boys
would never think of.
- That's why you sponsored me?
- Well, it wasn't because
of your backhand.
Take him down into
the basement and lock him up.
- Let go of me.
I'm going to get you, Roth.
I'll get you,
believe me I'll get you.
You're never gonna
get away with it.
Get your hands off me.
- I already have, sport.
I already have.
- Felipe.
Now I think you
have something of ours.
- Ed Rhodes paid Felipe
to steal my laptop?
No way.
Tommy, the kid's
gotta be mistaken.
- I don't think so.
Look, run a profile on Rhodes
and on Paula.
Check with the magazine and see
what you can come up with.
Then try and wrestle up Cat
and Nicole
and tell them I'm on my way.
- Uh, Joanna.
- Yes.
- Try and get a hold of Tully.
'cause if Rhodes and Paula are
mixed up with Roth somehow
Tully might be in danger
and we ought to warn him.
- Will do.
- It doesn't make sense.
Why would Rhodes want
to steal your laptop?
Before we decide why, we have
to figure out where he is.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey.
- Reach Tully Sims?
- No, I left several
messages at his hotel
but he never got back to me.
- He's not at the
tournament either.
Nicole and I talked to several
officials and players.
No one's seen him
since yesterday.
- I just hope nothing's
happened to him.
- Yeah, forget Tully for
a minute, what about Ed Rhodes,
what did you find out?
- Well, he doesn't work for
"Sports World" Magazine
that's for sure.
The editor has never
heard of him.
- You're kidding.
- He also said that
Paula Forrest wouldn't
need a photographer.
She's an expert herself and
always takes her own shots.
- So then Paula works
for the magazine.
- Yes, and she is here
on assignment.
- Well then who the hell
is this Rhodes guy, huh?
What's he doing with Paula?
- A good question.
I suggest we should ask her.
- First we've got to reach her.
She hasn't been
calling me back either.
- Which makes me wonder
if she's the real Paula Forrest
or someone impersonating her.
- Well there's
one way to find out,
have "Sports World"
fax us a photo.
- I'm way ahead of you.
I called the sports editor
just before Cat and Nicole
got here,
he's mailing me her photo.
It would only be an image
but that will be enough
to identify her.
That's probably it now.
Well, well, well.
- What?
Well if that's the real
Paula Forrest
- Then who the heck is...
- Oh, my God.
- What?
- I know who that is.
- Who?
- Remember a few days ago
when the police
found an American woman
murdered in the jungle?
- The one's whose hands
had been cut off?
- Yes, she was on the front page
of the newspaper.
That's her.
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
will be right back.
We better notify the police.
- Well, first let's find out
who this woman
posing as Paula is.
- Why wait?
- Well, might be
another stretch.
But my guess is that
she and Ed Rhodes
are somehow connected
to Tully's stolen leg.
So if we bring in the cops now
we might not be
able to prove it.
And we worked all week for...
vfft... nothing.
How wrong can a guy be?
- What do you mean?
I was this close
to asking Paula out.
- Oh, no...
There goes your shot at being
cover boy for "Sport World."
- Oh...
- Cute, right?
Now if we can be serious
for like two seconds.
What is the fastest way of
finding out if this Paula
was murdered by the fake Paula?
- Well, assuming
she was, of course...
which I admit, is pretty likely.
- Get her fingerprints.
I'll run them through
the FBI files.
- Maybe she has a record.
- Or Rhodes does.
Or both.
- I got an idea
that just might work.
- So, what makes you think
Tully's disappeared?
- Well, we asked the hotel
manager to check his room.
His stuff's still there.
- Maybe he's just
taking a side trip.
You know, to Yelapa or one
of the local ruins.
- Yeah, you know,
you're probably right.
Why should I worry
about him, right?
I mean, he hired us to find his
leg, not to be his babysitter.
Mm, amigo,
another round, please.
- Voilà.
All right!
That's bound to have
Rhodes' prints on it.
Now, all we need is something
with Paula's prints.
I'll try the bathroom.
She probably used it last
when she brushed her teeth.
- Good idea.
- Bingo.
Excuse me.
- Uh, while he's
in the john can I, uh...
ask you a personal question?
- The answer is no.
Ed isn't my lover.
We just happen to be friends
that work together.
- How'd you know that's what
I was going to say?
- I'm a woman.
And a woman knows
when a man likes her,
wants her...
like I want you.
- Just... Excuse me,
just a second.
- Yep.
- All set.
You can shake loose
anytime you want.
- Nicole?
- She's ready to tell them.
See you back at the ranch.
Ciao.
Hey, that was Joanna.
I think we got a lead
on Tully's leg there.
- Can't it wait?
- No, I wish it could,
but, uh...
- Her real name
is Verna Rita Maxwell.
She's a smalltime hustler
and con-artist
who made the big leagues when
she hooked up with Chuck Salls,
alias Ed Rhodes and Ted Wills,
a heavy duty ex-con
who is her lover.
- Charming.
- There's more.
Both are wanted by the treasury
department and the FBI
for scamming the government out
of tens of thousands of dollars.
- Ooh, how?
- Cashing phony
social security checks
while the ink was still wet.
- Ah, bless their
counterfeiting little hearts.
I've always dreamed of
having a printing press.
Turning out freshly minted
hundred dollar bills
whenever I needed them.
- Which is just about always.
- Before we get
too carried away,
let's remember just one thing.
This fun loving Bonnie and Clyde
just added a career move
to their resume.
- What's that?
- Murder.
Hi, it's me.
- Where are you?
- Outside Rhodes villa.
Paula and Rhodes just drove in.
- All right, we're on our way.
- A drink?
Something tall,
cool to celebrate?
- First, let's see if there's
something to celebrate about.
- I do so admire directness.
- Then cut to the chase,
what did you decide?
- L.A.'s out and you're in.
- Well, then it's
show and tell time.
- Did you bring the back
faceplate with you?
- It's within easy reach.
What about the front plate?
- Carlos, get it.
This calls for champagne.
- That's one thing I do
admire about you, Elliot.
You do have style.
- Voilà.
Mm.
- Hi.
Fancy meeting you here.
- I... don't think so.
- I wonder what
could be in here.
- To a profitable partnership.
- When you can print your own
money it goes without saying.
- Everybody, hands where
I can see them.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Five against one, lady.
- My man, Tommy.
- Hey, my partner
in crime, Nicole.
- Lovely house you have here.
Too bad you won't be able to
stick around and enjoy it.
- Same goes for you, Chuck.
Verna.
- Look, uh...
I don't suppose that we could
interest you in a partnership.
Once we get printing there
will be more than enough to...
make everyone happy.
- I think not.
- Well, at least give it
a second thought.
- Don't shoot.
I give up.
- Keep 'em covered.
- Stupid moron.
If you'd have thrown in with me
you would have had everything.
- Yeah?
Tell him that.
- Hey, up here.
Look what I found you bozos.
- Uh, there goes
the neighborhood.
Did he call us bozos?
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
will return in a moment.
- Here's your thousand bucks.
- Well, uh, we talked
it over and decided since
you found the leg before we did
that, uh... well,
you know it's only money.
- Oh, no way, José.
Tully Sims don't accept charity.
- Well, how about
we split it with you.
After all, you did
find it first.
- Fair enough.
I could use the dough to
pay for my hotel
while I'm training.
- Training, for what?
- The annual Puerto Vallarta
across the bay swim
two weeks from now.
- That's quite a haul, huh?
- My Grampa Zack
was a good swimmer.
- I thought his name was Jim.
- That's my other grampa
on my moms side.
- You have two grandfathers and
each one of them lost a leg?
- Grampa Zack, lost his leg?
When?
- Say goodnight, Gracie.
- Goodnight, Gracie.
- Hey, anyone home?
- Stop him!
He's a thief!
Voilà.
- One sound and you're dead.
- ♪ Oh can you feel it?
♪ Burn inside
♪ Yeah
♪ Sweat
♪ Dripping down my spine
♪ Making it hazy
♪ Wet
♪ Fingers touching mine
♪ Making me crazy
♪ I'm on the street
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ Deep
♪ In the darkest night
♪ I feel the motion
♪ Keep
♪ All my love alive
♪ Come to the ocean
♪ I'm on the street
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
♪ I feel the heat
♪ I feel, I feel
- You're wasting your time,
my wallet is in the hotel safe.
- We don't want your wallet.
- Then what do you want?
- Turn around.
- What's the matter, don't you
have the guts to face me?
- Just do it, ace.
Wait, we are not petty thieves.
- A million dollars.
Wow!
That means the winner get's
about 200,000, maybe more.
- Not bad for a few hours work.
- Don't forget about
all the years of blood,
sweat and practice
the pros go through
to get to that level.
- It's called paying your dues.
- Still a lot of money for
hitting a ball back and forth.
- Just think, Tommy,
if you had taken up tennis
instead of martial arts that
200,000 could be yours.
- Thank you
for sharing that with me.
- Hey, anyone home?
I'm looking
for the Acapulco H.E.A.T. guys.
- Well, you found them.
What can we do for you?
- I want you to find
something for me.
That is what you do isn't it?
Find stolen stuff.
- Among other things.
What was stolen?
- What's it look like?
My leg, of course.
- Are you serious?
- What do you think?
Think I enjoy hobbling
around on crutches?
- There's no need to be rude.
- We appreciate
your problem, Mr...
- Sims.
Tully Sims.
If I was rude, I'm sorry.
It's been a rough day.
First some jerk rips off my leg.
Then the bozos running
the tennis tournament
won't move my opening
round match back.
- You're playing
in the tournament?
- Senior amateur, sure.
Why not?
You think 'cause I only have one
leg I should quit having fun?
Maybe crawl into a hole and...
Here I go again.
Mouthing off.
- That's all right, Mr. Sims.
I understand.
My Grampa Jim, he lost a leg
and he wouldn't quit either.
- Can't you get another one?
- Not in time
for the tournament, no.
- Do you have any idea
who stole it?
- Two guys in ski masks.
They jumped me while I was
walking back from the beach.
Thought they were after
my money but... whacko!
One of 'em nailed me
from behind.
When I woke up
I was Peg Leg Pete,
How awful!
How could anyone be so mean?
- Beats me.
I don't know how I'm going
to face my sponsor.
He's already bent over
backwards to help me.
Now it looks like
all his money and time
is going down the tubes.
- I'm sure he'll understand.
- You don't know Elliot Roth,
he's not exactly
the understanding type.
- The Elliot Roth?
The Elliot Roth,
the artist and sculptor?
- The same.
That's why you gotta help me.
I don't get my leg back,
Elliot's likely to take
a chainsaw to the other one.
I'm willing to pay you.
I've got a thousand bucks
in the bank and...
- Excuse us for a minute, okay?
Let's help him.
- Joanna, we cannot
help everyon...
- No, please, let me finish.
I know this sounds crazy,
but this is my chance to payback
Grampa Jim.
- Grampa Jim?
- My mom's dad.
He helped raise me
and my brother
when my dad was in Vietnam.
He was the sweetest,
kindest person who ever lived.
- Joanna, what does this have to
do with finding this man's leg?
- Everything.
Grampa Jim helped me,
now I have to help Mr. Sims.
That's the way it works.
Kindness, I mean.
Someone helps you,
then you help someone else,
then they help...
- Okay, you win.
We'll help him.
I mean how hard can it be
to find a wooden leg in a town
were everyone wears
shorts and bikinis?
- Well, whoever attacked Tully
must have know his habits
otherwise they wouldn't have
been lying in wait for him.
- I'm more interested in
why they wanted his leg.
I mean, artificial legs
aren't like baseball caps,
one size fits all.
- Speak for yourself, I can
never find a cap small enough.
- Really? Even the one's with
the adjustable strap in back?
- No, they just blow off and...
- Okay.
Okay.
Enough about the caps already.
We got a leg to find here.
- Well, does that put us
a leg up or a leg down?
- What?
- Oh, definitely a leg up.
You know, like a glass
half full.
- Ha-ha-ha.
That's very funny,
that's very funny, yeah.
Now can we get serious a minute?
- What is your problem today?
Why are you so serious?
I mean you...
You gotta lighten up.
Have a few laughs, you know?
It's like Shakespeare once said,
"A leg, a leg,
my kingdom for a leg."
- Hey, wait a minute,
isn't it a horse?
- Uh, no. I think it was
King Richard III, actually.
- Surrounded by Gracie Allens.
Hey, anything?
- Jorge said when he was
cleaning the tennis courts
this morning he saw two men,
one was very tall and he
was carrying a big black bag.
- Did he see their faces?
- No, they were turned
away from him.
- Okay, okay, let's check that
beach bar and see if that
bartender can put a face
to any of those guys.
- God, it must be awful.
- What?
- Losing your leg.
Or any part of your body.
What would you want to lose?
If you had
to lose something I mean.
- Oh, five pounds.
- Now, tell me,
what do you think?
- It's different, Mr. Roth.
But interesting,
very interesting.
- Hm, really?
- Yeah.
- It's a piece of crap
and you know it.
Would you like to see me turn it
into a $100,000 worth of art?
Voilà.
What price genius, huh?
- Hi, can I talk to you?
- Yeah, sure.
What about?
- I'm Paula Forrest.
This is my photographer,
Ed Rhodes.
We're with
"Sports World" Magazine.
Tully Sims says you guys
are helping him
recover his stolen leg.
- Yeah, we're trying.
- Do you have any information
that might help us?
- No. But, well, we're here to
cover the tennis tournament
and one-legged player's
news enough,
but when he gets
his leg ripped off
that's a major
human interest story.
- Oh, I'm sorry but anything we
turn up is strictly private.
- Doctor-patient
confidentiality.
I understand.
- Well, yeah unless you
can get Mr Sims to waive
the privilege in which case
we'd be glad to share
whatever information
we have with you.
- Thanks, I'll see
what I can do.
- All right.
- Bye, guys.
Oh, I'd be glad to share any
information I have with you.
I'd be glad to share any
information I have with you too.
How about you join us?
- Of course, mi casa...
Es su casa.
- Yeah, have your fun.
- Hey, voilà.
Which one do you prefer?
- I, uh...
Mr. Roth, can we
talk about my leg?
- What did you find it?
- No, but I hired someone to
look for it.
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
You heard of them?
- Vaguely.
I know you're bummed out
about the leg
but to hire a bunch of misfits
to go hunt it down,
I mean, that's really way
out there, sport.
That's really way out there.
- Well, how else am I going to
find it, Mr. Roth?
And I got to find it.
Else all that money you spent
on me is down the toilet.
- You're all about the money.
I did it for you, sport.
So you could enter
the tournament
and have a chance to win.
- But that's just it,
I mean, how can I win
if I don't get my leg back?
- Oh, don't worry.
It's gonna show up somewhere
along the line.
It's not good to anybody else.
Look, I've got to get these
framed for my agent.
If anything happens
you give me a buzz, all right?
You keep me posted, all right?
- All right.
- All right.
- So, as far as you know,
none of the pros
hold a grudge against Mr. Sims?
- No.
- Hey, Tommy.
- Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Any news?
- Not yet, how 'bout you?
- Well, nothing that's going to
win me a Pulitzer.
According to everyone we've
talked to, Tully Sims
ranks right up there
with the Fairy Godmother.
I think walking on water
is imminent.
- We've been getting
the same feedback.
Everyone thinks what happened
is a crying shame.
They'd like to lynch whoever
ran off with his leg.
- That's not what
I'm hearing from L.A.
- Really?
- I was talking to some
of the players
who were at the Malibu pro-am.
They say Tully's a lush.
- You're kidding?
- No, my editor's
heard the same thing.
I guess that Tully's
fine for awhile
and then he just
goes out on a binge.
Shall we sit down?
- Yeah.
- You know, that's probably
where he is now.
- That's funny, I never
read him for a drunk.
- Me either.
I realized he had a short fuse,
but, hey, so does Nicole.
No one ever stole
one of her legs.
- Your partner has
an artificial leg?
- She doesn't,
it's just an inside joke.
- Oh.
- Courtesy of Gracie Allen.
- Don't forget Richard III.
- Yeah, look, I got a theory
about Tully's leg.
Now what if the person
that stole it
wasn't trying
to get back at him?
- Who then?
- His sponsor Elliot Roth.
I mean, I hear
that guy makes enemies
faster than McDonalds
makes French Fries.
- You know Mr. Roth?
- No, not personally.
He's a brilliant artist though.
- I agree.
Especially his sculptures.
- Is he interested in sports?
- I wouldn't know.
I wouldn't think so,
the guy's not exactly a jock.
- Well, still worth
looking into.
- Let us know if you come up
with anything, okay?
- Okay.
- Bye.
- See ya.
- What the heck are you doing?
King Richard III.
- What?
- Read up on your Shakespeare.
The guy, he had a hump
on his back.
- Tommy, I don't believe it.
You actually made a funny.
I'm proud of you.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hey, what's up?
- Tommy wants me to run
a profile check on Elliot Roth.
- Are you looking
for anything special?
- Yes...
something that will tell us
why a man who's not interested
in sports would sponsor
a one-legged tennis player.
But look at this Roth
masterpiece, sold for 83,000.
Looks like a man
kissing a blue rock.
Heh, "Octopus Caught
in a Whirlpool",
pft, sold for 100,000.
That was without the frame.
Oh, I know the name
for this one...
"Sick on the Sidewalk."
- Hi, honeys, I'm home.
Where have you been?
- At the beach with Paula.
- Uh-huh.
- No, no, no.
Don't give me no "uh-huhs."
All right, this was
strictly business.
Ed Rhodes was taking photos of...
Stop it.
Was taking photos of Tully
for Paula's article
in "Sports World"
so, you know, the readers can
see how well he's holding up.
Crusty old devil.
- What's the matter,
he give you some static?
- Yeah, he said he'd hold up
a lot better
if we found his damn leg.
Course he didn't actually
use the word damn.
- I hope you told him
we're doing all we can.
- Of course I did.
I told him we put the word
out all over town.
I said we checked with the cops,
the doctors,
the hospitals,
the whole enchilada.
But he's still not satisfied.
- Hey, guys!
I've come up with something.
What?
- I'm working on Roth's profile,
the guy's got a record.
- Ooh, art theft, burglary.
Five years for forging
old masterpieces.
- That's quite a crime sheet
for an artist whose work
now sells for hundreds of
thousands of dollars.
- But no help to us.
I mean, forgery has nothing
to do with stealing a fake leg.
- Especially when Roth's
sponsoring the guy
who's wearing it.
My Uncle Jo-Jo
was just like him.
Drank until he
didn't feel it no more
and then he had
to gamble to get high.
Lucky he didn't
hear about drugs.
Heh, his paintings
look like he did.
Yeah, some people think
that drugs induce,
free their artistic skills.
I don't know.
Mostly you just get a stoned
drunk artist with a headache
and a habit
Heh, that's very profound, Cat.
Look, that's Tully.
So, that's the connection
between Tully and Roth.
- Hm.
86.6 Proof alcohol
is what it is.
Tully went AA and dried out.
Now, he wants to sober up
the rest of the world.
- Well, not exactly a slam dunk.
But...
- What?
- Nah, too much of a stretch.
- Oh, tell us anyway.
We're used to your...
stretches.
- Well, I was thinking...
what if it wasn't
the leg he was after.
- Hm? Say it again for
the cheap seats.
- What if Roth was after
something inside the leg?
You know, like a stolen painting
or some kind of rare artifact.
- Talk about the granddaddy
of all stretches.
- The guy's
a millionaire, Tommy.
Why steal what you can buy?
- For the thrill of it.
Old habits are hard to break.
- Or... maybe Roth did buy it,
but because it was stolen
he couldn't let anyone know.
Basements all over
the world are full
of stolen masterpieces.
- Either way, it couldn't
hurt to dig
a little deeper
into Roth's past.
See if you can find
a roundabout connection.
- Consider it done.
- Oh.
- Finally got rid of him, huh?
- God, talk about boring.
The guy wouldn't shut up.
- Say anything more about Roth?
- No, he was too busy gabbing
about himself.
- Senorita.
Señor.
- I sure would like to know what
the H.E.A.T. team has found out.
- There might be a way.
- Talk to me.
- According to Joanna,
she stores everything
they do on her laptop.
I was thinking...
- Steal it.
- What?
When?
You moron, how could you let
something like that happen?
Look, forget it.
I don't want to hear
about your excuses.
You get that plate back or
you're gonna become a candidate
for a headstone.
Can you believe that?
Someone broke in
and stole the back plate.
- You got visitors.
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
- Look, get rid of them.
No, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
They'll just come back.
You guard that with your life.
- Oh, hey thanks
for seeing us...
- Cut the intros.
My time is too valuable
for names.
Now...
What do you want to talk about?
- Tully Sims.
Why did you sponsor him?
I mean, everybody knows
you hate sports.
- I like the guy,
he's got juevos.
Besides, I need a tax right off.
Guy like me needs
every break he can get.
Next question.
- Do you have any
idea why someone
would want to steal his leg?
- No, next question.
- Do you think somebody took
the leg to get back at you?
- What for?
- Well, I was kind
of hoping you'd tell us.
I mean you do have
a criminal record.
- Get out.
- Hey, why don't...
- Go on, get out
before I have Carlos shoot every
one of you for trespassing.
- Junior mints, who kicked
your dog, huh?
- Go on, get out!
- What?
Come on.
- Carlos, I want this ended.
- Permanently?
- No, no, no.
First try to discourage them.
And if that doesn't work...
- Hi, Ed.
- Joanna.
Where is everybody?
- Out trying to hunt down
Tully's leg.
I'm sorry, I know it isn't funny
and I shouldn't laugh.
And I'm not.
Not really.
I mean, poor Tully.
He practiced his
heart out for this and...
but it just sounds so funny.
I mean, turning the town
upside down for a phony leg.
- I won't say anything
if you don't.
- Deal.
Now, is there anything
I can help you with?
If you want the others
I can reach them...
- No, no.
You're the one
I wanted to talk to.
- Me?
Why?
Well, I was wondering if you'd
let me take some shots of you.
Nothing fancy, candid stuff.
You have such a great look,
and the magazine's always
looking for fresh talent
for their swimsuit issue.
- You're kidding, right?
I mean, Cat's the one
with the killer body,
you should ask her to.
Hey! No!
Come back!
Stop him!
He's a thief!
Hey! Stop him!
Unh.
Oh, no.
Did he take your
purse or something?
- Darn!
What am I gonna do now?
- Don't worry,
I'll buy you a new one.
It was my fault anyways.
If I hadn't gotten in your way
or was talking to you
you probably would
have caught him.
- Don't be silly.
If it's anybody's fault
it's mine for leaving
the computer out like that.
Besides it's not the computer
so much as what's in it.
All my files...
Thank goodness I've got some
of them backed up on disk.
- Why don't you let me drive
you to the police station.
I doubt they can help you
but at least you should
file a report.
- Thanks, it's almost
closing time anyway.
He was just a kid.
Ten... maybe 12 tops.
Like I told Captain Tapia,
I didn't get more than
a quick look at him
as he was running out.
- So you can not describe him?
- How can you describe
a grain of sand on the beach?
- He was a boy, a street
kid like a million others.
I feel so stupid.
- Joanna, quit beating
yourself up.
No one is blaming you.
- I am, computers are expensive.
I should have been more careful.
- Joanna, quit worrying
about it, we'll get it back.
Cat and I put the word out
to our sources.
With any luck someone will
track that thief down.
Cheers.
See ya.
- See ya.
One sound and you're dead.
- Whatever you want, take it.
- I'm no thief, lady.
I'm here to give you
some advice.
- Go ahead.
You have my full attention.
- If you and your partners
want to stay alive
quit looking for Tully Sims leg.
- That's what this is all about?
His stolen leg?
What is it made of, solid gold?
- Never mind what it's made of.
Just do like I say.
Tell your buddies
to back off, or else.
- "Acapulco H.E.A.T."
- will return in a moment.
Why didn't you call and tell us
all this last night?
- I didn't want
to worry you guys.
There was nothing you could
have done last night.
- Except for pay Mr. Elliot
Roth a little visit.
- Look, we don't
know it was him.
I'm guessing like
you that it was.
- Well, who else could it be?
Everything points to him.
- Yes, how can we prove it?
- Sneak into his villa.
I'll bet the farm that we can
find something in there
that'll tie him into all this.
- Acapulco H.E.A.T.,
may I help you?
You do?
Oh boy, that's great,
I'll tell the others.
Thanks.
That was our friend Jorge.
Guess what?
His cousin Salazar knows
who stole my computer.
- Sorry you had to drop out
of the tournament.
But hey, look, just so the trip
is not a complete loss
why don't you... Why don't you
stay on for a few days?
Soak up the sun,
make a vacation out of it.
You've earned it, it's on me.
- That's really great
of you, Mr. Roth.
I don't know how to
thank you for all you've done.
- Forget it.
What good's money if you
can't enjoy it, right?
- Mr. Roth, you have visitors...
From "Sports World" Magazine.
- What are you nuts?
Get rid of them.
- I think you'll
want to talk with them, sir.
- Tell, them I'll be down
in a moment.
- Okay.
- Can you hang on
a little while,
while I get rid of these jerks?
- Sure.
- Wanna make yourself
a drink, go right ahead.
And if you want to take
a dip there's some
spare suits
in the upper bedroom.
- Okay.
- Thank you for taking the time
to see us, Mr. Roth.
- Cut the crap,
what's this all about?
- Oh, I think you know or you
wouldn't be talking to us.
- Before you waste our time
with a lot of denials.
Understand we know
everything about you.
- Including your
counterfeiting scheme.
- Counterfeiting?
I'm a reputable artist.
I'm a painter, a sculptor.
Oh, give it a rest, Roth.
Like my associate just said,
don't waste our time.
We didn't risk our lives
to steal the plate
without first doing
our homework.
Give us that much credit.
- All right, let me see that
plate, maybe I'll believe you.
All right, you're for real
what do you want from me?
- Your assurance that if we join
forces we're your only partners.
- Impossible, I already
have partners.
- We don't need
those jerks in L.A.
Both plates are here
and so are you.
You're the only engraver
outside of prison
who can fix the flaw
in the front faceplate.
And we have a international
network of banks and financiers
all lined up to launder
the money through.
It's a match made in heaven.
- Get rid of L.A.
That's an interesting concept.
- Does that mean you're in?
- It means I'll consider it.
Where are you staying?
- Marriott in the marina.
- I'll get back to you.
- Make it quick.
- How the hell did
my shoe get here?
What the...
- What do you think, sport?
Pretty clever.
- I don't understand.
- Oh, sure you do.
I needed a safe place
to get the plate into Mexico.
Hiding place the treasury boys
would never think of.
- That's why you sponsored me?
- Well, it wasn't because
of your backhand.
Take him down into
the basement and lock him up.
- Let go of me.
I'm going to get you, Roth.
I'll get you,
believe me I'll get you.
You're never gonna
get away with it.
Get your hands off me.
- I already have, sport.
I already have.
- Felipe.
Now I think you
have something of ours.
- Ed Rhodes paid Felipe
to steal my laptop?
No way.
Tommy, the kid's
gotta be mistaken.
- I don't think so.
Look, run a profile on Rhodes
and on Paula.
Check with the magazine and see
what you can come up with.
Then try and wrestle up Cat
and Nicole
and tell them I'm on my way.
- Uh, Joanna.
- Yes.
- Try and get a hold of Tully.
'cause if Rhodes and Paula are
mixed up with Roth somehow
Tully might be in danger
and we ought to warn him.
- Will do.
- It doesn't make sense.
Why would Rhodes want
to steal your laptop?
Before we decide why, we have
to figure out where he is.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey.
- Reach Tully Sims?
- No, I left several
messages at his hotel
but he never got back to me.
- He's not at the
tournament either.
Nicole and I talked to several
officials and players.
No one's seen him
since yesterday.
- I just hope nothing's
happened to him.
- Yeah, forget Tully for
a minute, what about Ed Rhodes,
what did you find out?
- Well, he doesn't work for
"Sports World" Magazine
that's for sure.
The editor has never
heard of him.
- You're kidding.
- He also said that
Paula Forrest wouldn't
need a photographer.
She's an expert herself and
always takes her own shots.
- So then Paula works
for the magazine.
- Yes, and she is here
on assignment.
- Well then who the hell
is this Rhodes guy, huh?
What's he doing with Paula?
- A good question.
I suggest we should ask her.
- First we've got to reach her.
She hasn't been
calling me back either.
- Which makes me wonder
if she's the real Paula Forrest
or someone impersonating her.
- Well there's
one way to find out,
have "Sports World"
fax us a photo.
- I'm way ahead of you.
I called the sports editor
just before Cat and Nicole
got here,
he's mailing me her photo.
It would only be an image
but that will be enough
to identify her.
That's probably it now.
Well, well, well.
- What?
Well if that's the real
Paula Forrest
- Then who the heck is...
- Oh, my God.
- What?
- I know who that is.
- Who?
- Remember a few days ago
when the police
found an American woman
murdered in the jungle?
- The one's whose hands
had been cut off?
- Yes, she was on the front page
of the newspaper.
That's her.
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
will be right back.
We better notify the police.
- Well, first let's find out
who this woman
posing as Paula is.
- Why wait?
- Well, might be
another stretch.
But my guess is that
she and Ed Rhodes
are somehow connected
to Tully's stolen leg.
So if we bring in the cops now
we might not be
able to prove it.
And we worked all week for...
vfft... nothing.
How wrong can a guy be?
- What do you mean?
I was this close
to asking Paula out.
- Oh, no...
There goes your shot at being
cover boy for "Sport World."
- Oh...
- Cute, right?
Now if we can be serious
for like two seconds.
What is the fastest way of
finding out if this Paula
was murdered by the fake Paula?
- Well, assuming
she was, of course...
which I admit, is pretty likely.
- Get her fingerprints.
I'll run them through
the FBI files.
- Maybe she has a record.
- Or Rhodes does.
Or both.
- I got an idea
that just might work.
- So, what makes you think
Tully's disappeared?
- Well, we asked the hotel
manager to check his room.
His stuff's still there.
- Maybe he's just
taking a side trip.
You know, to Yelapa or one
of the local ruins.
- Yeah, you know,
you're probably right.
Why should I worry
about him, right?
I mean, he hired us to find his
leg, not to be his babysitter.
Mm, amigo,
another round, please.
- Voilà.
All right!
That's bound to have
Rhodes' prints on it.
Now, all we need is something
with Paula's prints.
I'll try the bathroom.
She probably used it last
when she brushed her teeth.
- Good idea.
- Bingo.
Excuse me.
- Uh, while he's
in the john can I, uh...
ask you a personal question?
- The answer is no.
Ed isn't my lover.
We just happen to be friends
that work together.
- How'd you know that's what
I was going to say?
- I'm a woman.
And a woman knows
when a man likes her,
wants her...
like I want you.
- Just... Excuse me,
just a second.
- Yep.
- All set.
You can shake loose
anytime you want.
- Nicole?
- She's ready to tell them.
See you back at the ranch.
Ciao.
Hey, that was Joanna.
I think we got a lead
on Tully's leg there.
- Can't it wait?
- No, I wish it could,
but, uh...
- Her real name
is Verna Rita Maxwell.
She's a smalltime hustler
and con-artist
who made the big leagues when
she hooked up with Chuck Salls,
alias Ed Rhodes and Ted Wills,
a heavy duty ex-con
who is her lover.
- Charming.
- There's more.
Both are wanted by the treasury
department and the FBI
for scamming the government out
of tens of thousands of dollars.
- Ooh, how?
- Cashing phony
social security checks
while the ink was still wet.
- Ah, bless their
counterfeiting little hearts.
I've always dreamed of
having a printing press.
Turning out freshly minted
hundred dollar bills
whenever I needed them.
- Which is just about always.
- Before we get
too carried away,
let's remember just one thing.
This fun loving Bonnie and Clyde
just added a career move
to their resume.
- What's that?
- Murder.
Hi, it's me.
- Where are you?
- Outside Rhodes villa.
Paula and Rhodes just drove in.
- All right, we're on our way.
- A drink?
Something tall,
cool to celebrate?
- First, let's see if there's
something to celebrate about.
- I do so admire directness.
- Then cut to the chase,
what did you decide?
- L.A.'s out and you're in.
- Well, then it's
show and tell time.
- Did you bring the back
faceplate with you?
- It's within easy reach.
What about the front plate?
- Carlos, get it.
This calls for champagne.
- That's one thing I do
admire about you, Elliot.
You do have style.
- Voilà.
Mm.
- Hi.
Fancy meeting you here.
- I... don't think so.
- I wonder what
could be in here.
- To a profitable partnership.
- When you can print your own
money it goes without saying.
- Everybody, hands where
I can see them.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Five against one, lady.
- My man, Tommy.
- Hey, my partner
in crime, Nicole.
- Lovely house you have here.
Too bad you won't be able to
stick around and enjoy it.
- Same goes for you, Chuck.
Verna.
- Look, uh...
I don't suppose that we could
interest you in a partnership.
Once we get printing there
will be more than enough to...
make everyone happy.
- I think not.
- Well, at least give it
a second thought.
- Don't shoot.
I give up.
- Keep 'em covered.
- Stupid moron.
If you'd have thrown in with me
you would have had everything.
- Yeah?
Tell him that.
- Hey, up here.
Look what I found you bozos.
- Uh, there goes
the neighborhood.
Did he call us bozos?
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
will return in a moment.
- Here's your thousand bucks.
- Well, uh, we talked
it over and decided since
you found the leg before we did
that, uh... well,
you know it's only money.
- Oh, no way, José.
Tully Sims don't accept charity.
- Well, how about
we split it with you.
After all, you did
find it first.
- Fair enough.
I could use the dough to
pay for my hotel
while I'm training.
- Training, for what?
- The annual Puerto Vallarta
across the bay swim
two weeks from now.
- That's quite a haul, huh?
- My Grampa Zack
was a good swimmer.
- I thought his name was Jim.
- That's my other grampa
on my moms side.
- You have two grandfathers and
each one of them lost a leg?
- Grampa Zack, lost his leg?
When?
- Say goodnight, Gracie.
- Goodnight, Gracie.