Acapulco H.E.A.T. (1998–…): Season 1, Episode 23 - Code Name: Lollipop, Lollipop - full transcript
Tonight
on "Acapulco H.E.A.T."...
♪ Oh, can you feel it
♪ Burning inside
♪ Yeah
♪ Making it hazy
♪ Making me crazy
♪ Deep in the darkest night
♪ I feel the motion
♪ Keep all my love alive
♪ Come to the ocean
♪ Out on the street
♪ I feel the heat
Beautiful!
Beautiful!
That was at least a 9.8...
with a chance
for the gold medal.
- You always said I was a 10.
- I, uh... I lied.
- That's okay.
- Hey, take it
where you can get it.
Wait, wait.
Wait, let me guess.
You want us to go with you two.
Let's reverse the roles, okay?
Now, you take us
to where you wanted us to go.
Think they understood?
Yeah, I think they understood.
Come on, let's go.
- I am Señor Zero.
Your employer.
- Senator?
Should we choose to accept.
- The amount you would think of
is now doubled.
An advance.
- Look, we still
haven't said yes
and we still don't know
what the hell it is
you want us to do.
- My niece has been kidnapped.
You will find her
and bring her safely back to me.
- Thanks for the ride down.
It's been a pleasure
meeting you...
whoever you are.
- Won't you give me the courtesy
of listening
to what I have to say?
- Look, what he meant
in his abrupt way
is that he doesn't think this is
something you need us for.
I mean, you're obviously a man
with money and connections.
Have your muscle boys handle it.
Or call the cops.
- Thank you for the suggestions.
I myself would never have
thought of them.
- Ouch.
- This search has to be private.
Very private.
A hint of a scandal
would destroy me.
No one knows what's happened.
Not even my bodyguards.
- Your niece wasn't really
kidnapped, was she?
- Of course she was.
Look, I'm sorry.
We have to pass.
If you like, when we get back
to Puerto Vallarta,
I'll, uh, fax you the name of
a discreet private investigator
who specializes
in domestic cases,
but we're just...
we're not interested.
Okay...
Now we're interested.
This is his niece?
Kind of young
for someone who just turned 18.
- Oh, it's an old picture
of her.
He said she hated it
because it...
well, she thought
it made her look fat.
Anyway, it's the only picture
he had
'cause the kidnappers took
every other one in the house.
- Oh, that was clever.
No picture, no APB, or whatever
they call it down in Ecuador.
- No ransom call either?
- The only leads so far
are the make
and the color of the car.
The two men that took her
were masked,
but one called
the other one Ramon.
- That narrows it down.
- If we were looking
in Stockholm.
Maybe.
- Well, that's all we have.
- Yeah.
- Ramon and a white,
old Thunderbird.
Well...
highway south looks promising.
Cat and Nicole,
you two head down there.
I'll, uh, I'll check out
the airports, bus stations,
that kind of stuff.
Come on, it's pretty country
down there.
It'll be like a vacation.
- Like this is a slum.
Anyway, Joanna's
got plane tickets
and two rent-a-cars waiting
and if we strike out,
we'll go to Plan B.
- Which is?
- I have no idea.
- Gracias.
- Ooh, I hate rent-a-cars.
- Tommy liked his.
You should have
switched with him.
- Well, that's because
he's never ridden in it
where it's normal.
Anyway, this was a better color.
Oh, I just love
an air-conditioned car.
Hello?
Hello?
Anybody here?
- Is anybody here?
- No.
- Hey...
- What?
- Lookie here.
- I don't think this is the one.
- How do you know?
- Well, call me crazy,
but aren't the wheels and tires
not sort of a given
for rolling along?
- Buenos días, chiquitas.
My name is Theodore.
I speak three languages.
The best is English.
- Ah...
- Did he call us chiquitas?
- Yes, and his name is Theodore.
- Mm.
- You like this fine car?
I have the power
to sell it to you.
- This is a great car.
How long it's been here?
- Not too long.
Maybe two, three years.
- Did you see two men
and a woman driving this?
- A lot of people
must have been driving it.
- Hmm... the engine's not rusty.
- Dry heat from the sun.
- The rest of the car's
not rusty, either.
- It is well made.
- Hey, you've got
something cold to drink?
- In a bottle?
- Yes, of course.
We are not savages.
- He sounded angry.
- Yeah, I feel it also.
What?
- The old man lies.
The car has been here
for three days.
I know what to look for.
- You saw who was in it?
- Oh, yes.
Two men, one girl, woman.
I think she picked them up.
They went south
through the jungle.
If you pay me five dollars,
I can show you where.
American money, of course.
- You got five bucks?
- No, you?
- No.
- Okay.
- Come on.
- I hope this is not
a dumb move.
- Hey, we got lucky.
Besides,
how can he be suspicious?
Just look at his face.
Hey, get out
of the driver's seat.
- Hello.
There's a car headed for you.
Yes, my grandson is the guide.
Two pretty chiquitas.
I am not going to say a thing.
- Ernesto.
I thought you said
you knew the way.
- I do.
- Then, um...
What are we doing
on this cow path?
- Ernie...
Did we take the wrong road?
There is no shame
in admitting a mistake.
- No, Miss Nicole, no mistake.
This is right.
From here we walk.
- Boy, that's something
you left out, kid.
- Come on, this way.
- I swear, I feel
like we're being watched.
- Hopefully something
with two legs.
I hope it's no snake.
- Oh... there are no snakes
in Ecuador.
- How would you know?
- There are bigsnakes
in Ecuador.
- Well, thank you.
I love knowledge.
- Let's go.
- Come on.
- No luck?
- Nope.
I'm starting to get antsy
about it too.
They should have
checked in by now.
- Well, how many phones
can there be
on the roads out of the city?
- See, the thing is, we don't
know what we're up against.
And the most frustrating part
about it?
We can't call the cops
or anyone official.
- So can't we just hang around?
- All right.
We got two airports to cover,
plus bus stations.
Hey, if we're not here,
they'll leave a message, right?
- Correctamundo.
- Okay.
- I think.
- "I think."
Ernesto?
Where'd he disappear to?
- He was here a second ago.
- Hey! Ernesto!
- Ernie baby...
- Oh... don't tell me.
We fell
for a ten-year-old kid's scam?
- Impossible.
With that face?
- I wonder
where the hell we are.
- Let's not panic.
All we have to do is follow
the trail back to the car.
- Yeah, I'm already
feeling things
creeping and crawling around us.
- I wonder how long before dark.
- Maybe two or three hours.
- Perfect.
Listen, Rambo.
Whatever you think you're up to,
you can forget it.
I'm an American citizen.
- Mm-hmm.
- She's a French citizen.
- Mm...
- Well, you must like
one of those two countries.
- Congratulations.
But down here, ladies, I would
keep that close to your chest.
Good job, good job.
- Listen, I don't know
who you are,
and personally I don't care.
Do you care?
- Whatever works.
- Whatever works.
Um...
We're looking for a young woman.
Somebody's niece.
So... why don't you just
keep doing your thing
and, uh,
we'll keep doing ours, okay?
So... we'll be going now.
- Hold it!
- Okay, who are you people?
- What would you
like to call us?
- Godlike images
of gentleness and kindness?
- That's very nice.
That's very sweet.
But we are just, um...
freedom fighters.
Jaguar...
- They're not
chasing us anymore.
- Maybe whatever it was
is having them for lunch.
- Well, we better keep moving...
or we'll be dessert.
- Lord, show us our car.
Any car.
Even one
with no air conditioning.
Thank you.
Geez...
Could they have been
any more suspicious?
- I think it was your Spanish.
- Yeah, well, if the woman
and the kidnappers
left the city by bus,
it wasn't through there.
- I'm still spooked.
The cop with the Uzi
kept checking us out.
- That's their job.
- I don't care.
All foreign cops look like,
"Ask me where the nearest phone
is and you're toast."
- Come on, Dillinger,
let's hit the airport.
- Are you sure
this is where we left it?
Well, aren't you?
The kid jacked it!
- So much for his angel face.
- Boy, you're never gonna let me
forget that, are you?
- Eventually, yes.
It's just that today
it's not all that.
- Wait till I get
a hold of Tommy.
"Oh, this is gonna be
sort like a vacation."
- He lied.
You know, I have a feeling
that we should start walking.
- Whoa!
- Señoritas...
Let's go.
Please, keep moving.
No trouble, please.
- Where did you come from?
- Just, uh...
What the hell
are we mixed up in here?
- Please...
- We have a date.
- Apparently.
- How does she handle?
- Not bad for a rental.
Steering is loose,
probably the rods.
- You are a good boy.
You are learning your trade.
Someday...
you will be as good as I am.
- Do you have to wait that long?
If I don't kill you first.
- Hey, hey, uh,
have you seen her?
- No, sorry. No.
- Passports, please.
- Yeah, well, what do you need
to see 'em for?
I mean,
what law are we breaking?
- Tell us what you're
doing here.
- Well, not breaking
any law, that's for sure.
- Indulge us, indulge
our curiosity.
That's what killed the cat,
you know.
Joanna...
- I know that animal.
Satisfaction
brought it back, no?
Satisfy us.
Martinez, Customs. Over.
- I'll be there immediately.
Yankees, go home.
- Yankees.
What the hell is this all about?
- I'm sure you can guess.
We're all on watch
for drug smugglers.
We don't want to be known
as the new pipeline
for cocaine or heroin
or anything else
that, that can harm or kill.
You fit the profile.
- Huh, yeah, right.
- You know, if you told us that
from the beginning,
we could have saved you
a lot of time.
- We're in Ecuador.
Time goes by here slowly.
Thank you for your cooperation.
- Sure...
- God...
that outfit is so cool.
Hey...
- What?
Nah, nothing.
For a moment
she looked familiar.
- Of course she does.
National Geographic specials!
- That must be her grandpa.
Probably heading for the burro.
- Yeah...
What's wrong with that picture?
- Her burro has wheels.
- And air conditioning.
Maybe our little lady.
Let's go.
- They're still behind us.
- God, shooting them
in Puerto Vallarta
doesn't seem to have worked.
- Uh-oh.
We're in trouble.
- You are gonna stop,
aren't you?
Hold on!
Whoo, how about that, huh?
- Wow...
What'd you think?
- Wow...
- What, that's it, only one wow?
- Wow, wow, wow.
- All right, yeah,
deserves at least three!
"Acapulco H.E.A.T"
will be right back.
- My little Indian!
You are fantastic!
- I want to take a bubble bath.
- Soon, baby.
You know, we have two visitors
and I don't know who they are
or what we should do with them.
My men want to kill them
but, um, I'd like to know
who it is I'm dispatching
so, baby, baby, if you could
just find out for me, okay?
- And when do I get
to take a bubble bath?
- I thought I answered that
already, huh?
- And I want a hamburger.
- A hamburger.
We're in the jungle.
- Then shoot a cow
and grind him up.
And forget the horns, huh?
- Mmm, I missed you, mami.
- Mmm...
- Yeah...
- Stop.
- Hey! Cuidado.
- God...
- Come here.
Mwuah!
- Whoop!
- I wonder if Michelle
really is in this place.
- Huh?
- Michelle...
The girl we're looking for?
- Oh, yeah, sure.
- I need the bathroom.
Um, uh, baño?
- Do you really have to?
- No.
- We need water... food?
- Yeah, we haven't eaten
all day, you know?
Sí, sí.
Uh, gracias.
- That was easy.
All we need is a key.
- I am a key.
Damn it...
Yes...
- I prefer real flowers.
The scent... the texture.
- Real flowers.
- Hmm... flowers do not rust.
Shh...
If we get out of here...
- When, please, say when.
- When we get out of here,
do you know which way to go?
It's a jungle out there.
- Life is a jungle.
- Now, now, now,
we need a map, not wisdom.
Whew...
- Hi.
- Uh, hi.
- Michelle, right?
- That's me.
- Well, put some clothes on.
We're gonna take you
back to your uncle.
- Oh, that's why you're here.
Ramon didn't tell me that.
I was thinking of becoming
a little jealous or something,
only I think
you're a little too old for him.
- Speaking of old...
Exactly how old are you?
- Me? Um...
I'm 18.
Just... I'm just growing up.
And... how old are you?
- Oh, uh...
a little older.
Hmm...
Just.
- Just.
- Oh.
Michelle.
Open up.
You okay, baby?
- I just got in the bath,
I'm okay.
I'm okay, my lollipop.
- Those two women,
they're running around loose.
- Shh...
- So keep this door
locked, okay?
- Okay! Mwuah!
- How come?
- Because...
I like you.
Besides...
I'm bored.
I wanna go get some men, huh?
- Whoa... hold on, kiddo.
- Oh...
- I think we better get her
back to her uncle fast.
- I have no uncle.
- Yeah, right.
Well, that's not what the man
who hired us said.
- Well, the man who hired you
likes to call me his niece
or his nephew or his daughter
or whatever he feels like
calling me at the time.
- Then he's nothing to you?
- No, he's
a lot more than nothing.
That's the only stretch of
highway we haven't checked out.
- It's hot.
- Well... it's Ecuador.
- You could have said Alaska.
I'd feel better.
- Hey, hey, hey.
We'll get some air.
Why don't you check
for bullet holes
and I'll see if there's
somebody around to help us.
Hi, puppy.
Hello?
Uh, maybe they know something.
Hello?
Hey.
- We are closed, Señor.
No gas, no ice, no beer.
- I, I... no, no, it's okay,
we don't want any of that stuff.
Uh, we just want to ask you
a couple of questions.
- Are you the police?
- No, why?
- I don't like police.
But I still know
nothing about anything.
- Well, I...
- Maybe there's
a grown-up around.
- Hey, what...
What color was the car
that Cat and Nicole rented?
- Mm... that color.
He'll talk now.
- He found me in the alley
like some abandoned cat.
I was 11 or something.
I don't really remember.
And he said
he would teach me things.
Like I didn't already
know those things.
- Are you saying
he molested you?
- I don't know,
can you molest a toy?
- Well, what about the law?
- Well, you've met him.
- Oh. Senator Zero.
- That's right.
You ask silly questions.
- And this Ramon.
Did he know how old you were?
- It's different.
Raymond is my age.
He's 20 or something.
It's not the same.
- It's still statutory rape.
You were underage.
- It was?
- Uh-huh.
- Cool.
That kinda turns me on.
So...
What do we do now?
Take her back?
- How?
- Well, we can't leave her here.
Ramon aside,
who knows what the gang is into?
- You forgetting our actions
are severely limited?
I mean, we're still
prisoners in this place.
And at the mercy
of a bubblegum femme fatale
with the morals of an alley cat.
- Who's not going to help us
blow her scene.
- There, Tommy,
just like I told you.
- Hey, little turd.
Guide us in.
- Okay!
Ramon!
- Well, you sure had
the golden touch.
How can any little kid
resist such sweet words?
- Knock it off!
Gotta get in there.
- Alive.
- All right.
Stay here.
- Well, uh...
Hey, wait a minute.
- Look, no sense
in us all going in.
Besides, we might need cover.
- I'd rather have an Uzi.
You know I don't like
little guns.
- Well, give it back.
- No, uh...
It's bigger already.
Good luck.
- It's about skill, not luck.
- Okay... good skill.
- Right.
Rather have luck.
- You guys wanna turn on?
Huh?
What's the matter with me?
I can't believe I didn't
think about this before.
I just brought in
some primo powder,
but we have to be careful 'cause
it's really, really strong.
It's been stepped on
ever so lightly.
Hmm? I'm gonna call in Raymond
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
- Ho-ho-ho, wait a minute,
wait just a minute.
- But why?
Oh, come on, guys,
he's really cool.
He's great.
- No, no, no.
- Oh, come on.
I... you...
Stay tuned.
The H.E.A.T. team
will be back in a moment.
- Having a party?
Hey, baby.
- They're not very nice.
And they don't want to party
with us.
- Why? What did you tell 'em?
- I don't know.
Nothing.
She told us nothing.
- Ramon, I told 'em
about the new powder
and I thought, you know, we can
all have a taste and everything.
- Oh, that's unfortunate.
I was thinking
of letting them go.
- Oh...
- Now it's impossible.
- We get to keep 'em? Yay!
- Not for long, okay?
- Okay.
Mwuah!
- Take the girls to my room.
- So, ladies...
My apologies for the delay.
- Oh, take all the time
you want.
You lowlife.
- Now, now, no sense
in being bad friends.
You intend to kill us
and you want to be friends.
Are you some kind of nut?
- Untie them.
- Why don't you do that?
- Okay.
But I'm gonna have to
drop you first.
- My men will hear the shots.
- Yeah.
But you'll only hear
the first one.
- Okay.
- I oughta deck you.
How did you find us?
We figured we were history.
- Found your car.
- Our friend Ramon used to be
Senator Zero's chauffeur.
He's the one
who kidnapped Michelle.
- Don't be ridiculous.
I rescued her.
She's here willingly.
- Yeah, right.
- He's sort of right.
She was a minor.
And no relation to our
distinguished employer.
- So, what are you saying?
- That maybe
we should think twice
about delivering her
up to the guy
who has been molesting her
since she was 11.
- There's more to it than that.
Follow it to its conclusion.
- I see that.
The Senator...
didn't want a story about him
and a teenage girl.
- And...
- And he wanted us
to bring her back...
so he could kill her.
- Congratulations.
- But there is even more, Tommy.
Ramon and his friends have been
using Michelle as a mule
to bring smack into the country.
An easy jump from here
to Panama... and points north.
Yeah...
Tie them up!
Oh, again.
- Ramon, Michelle, she's o.d.'d.
- Tie them up!
- Wonderful.
The stupid bitch got a hold
of some of our product
and managed to o.d.
Apparently
her life and usefulness
are over at the same time.
No tears...
It's time to say good-bye.
We've had our fun but now...
it's over.
Maybe we'll meet again
in another life.
And we can continue
this pleasant friendship.
- He's certifiable.
- Totally.
I really hate to
cancel my ukulele lesson,
but I wouldn't miss this trip
for the world.
Even if you people
are only going halfway.
Well, don't come along
on our account.
It's quite all right,
I have a delivery to make.
All right, come on, move it!
Okay!
- Come on.
- Don't turn around,
just get in the van.
Come on, move it.
Drive!
- Whoo-hoo! Whoo!
Oh, why do I do this so well?
- Michelle is still breathing!
- She won't last long.
Neither will you!
- Tell the driver to take us
to a hospital! Now!
- Aah! Hey...
- He's cute, don't you think?
I think so.
- Did you call him?
- Yup... and he's very happy
that she'll live.
In fact, he's coming in person
to take her "home,"
as he put it.
And, uh, he's concerned that we
remain discreet about this.
- And of course we were.
- Yes, of course.
Damn it.
- Just a moment.
Before you make
the mistake of your lives...
Do you know who I am?
- Oh, they,
they know who you are.
They just don't care.
Especially dear Michelle.
- You...
You have to be silent.
The privilege
of the client relationship.
You work for me!
Oh, we haven't said a word.
But they saw everything.
It's called attempted murder.
We won't say a thing.
Scout's honor.
Hey, don't go away.
The H.E.A.T. team
will be back in a moment
I just don't feel right
about this.
Michelle
is still in the hospital
and some of the gang
is still loose.
- Well, the army's
rounding them up now.
We have Ramon and the drugs
and there's a reward due us
for that.
- Yes, and we also got
the retainer from Señor Z-hee
he wrote.
- You're gonna keep that?
- Ye-heah.
That and the first-class tickets
back to Puerto Vallarta.
We shouldn't really stay.
- The hotel rooms are paid for,
the flight leaves
in the morning...
Just enjoy this vacation.
Besides... you can swim
in a different ocean.
- It's still the Pacific.
- Yeah, but it's
a different part.
Look, we haven't got wet here
and we deserve it.
We found Michelle,
didn't we, huh?
Hey!
How's Michelle?
- Consistent.
- What does that mean?
- It means she's in good health
and doing her thing again.
- Her thing?
- Yeah, she has stolen clothes
and she and that good-looking
attendant ran away together.
- Gosh, she's only 18.
- She's legal
but the boy is only 15.
- Then she's a wanted woman.
- Oh, they already found her.
- So let the police
take care of her then.
We're off the hook.
- All right, come on, come on,
come on, come on.
Are we gonna
get in there or what?
Come on!
Game's on.
Oh...
Don't even think about it.
on "Acapulco H.E.A.T."...
♪ Oh, can you feel it
♪ Burning inside
♪ Yeah
♪ Making it hazy
♪ Making me crazy
♪ Deep in the darkest night
♪ I feel the motion
♪ Keep all my love alive
♪ Come to the ocean
♪ Out on the street
♪ I feel the heat
Beautiful!
Beautiful!
That was at least a 9.8...
with a chance
for the gold medal.
- You always said I was a 10.
- I, uh... I lied.
- That's okay.
- Hey, take it
where you can get it.
Wait, wait.
Wait, let me guess.
You want us to go with you two.
Let's reverse the roles, okay?
Now, you take us
to where you wanted us to go.
Think they understood?
Yeah, I think they understood.
Come on, let's go.
- I am Señor Zero.
Your employer.
- Senator?
Should we choose to accept.
- The amount you would think of
is now doubled.
An advance.
- Look, we still
haven't said yes
and we still don't know
what the hell it is
you want us to do.
- My niece has been kidnapped.
You will find her
and bring her safely back to me.
- Thanks for the ride down.
It's been a pleasure
meeting you...
whoever you are.
- Won't you give me the courtesy
of listening
to what I have to say?
- Look, what he meant
in his abrupt way
is that he doesn't think this is
something you need us for.
I mean, you're obviously a man
with money and connections.
Have your muscle boys handle it.
Or call the cops.
- Thank you for the suggestions.
I myself would never have
thought of them.
- Ouch.
- This search has to be private.
Very private.
A hint of a scandal
would destroy me.
No one knows what's happened.
Not even my bodyguards.
- Your niece wasn't really
kidnapped, was she?
- Of course she was.
Look, I'm sorry.
We have to pass.
If you like, when we get back
to Puerto Vallarta,
I'll, uh, fax you the name of
a discreet private investigator
who specializes
in domestic cases,
but we're just...
we're not interested.
Okay...
Now we're interested.
This is his niece?
Kind of young
for someone who just turned 18.
- Oh, it's an old picture
of her.
He said she hated it
because it...
well, she thought
it made her look fat.
Anyway, it's the only picture
he had
'cause the kidnappers took
every other one in the house.
- Oh, that was clever.
No picture, no APB, or whatever
they call it down in Ecuador.
- No ransom call either?
- The only leads so far
are the make
and the color of the car.
The two men that took her
were masked,
but one called
the other one Ramon.
- That narrows it down.
- If we were looking
in Stockholm.
Maybe.
- Well, that's all we have.
- Yeah.
- Ramon and a white,
old Thunderbird.
Well...
highway south looks promising.
Cat and Nicole,
you two head down there.
I'll, uh, I'll check out
the airports, bus stations,
that kind of stuff.
Come on, it's pretty country
down there.
It'll be like a vacation.
- Like this is a slum.
Anyway, Joanna's
got plane tickets
and two rent-a-cars waiting
and if we strike out,
we'll go to Plan B.
- Which is?
- I have no idea.
- Gracias.
- Ooh, I hate rent-a-cars.
- Tommy liked his.
You should have
switched with him.
- Well, that's because
he's never ridden in it
where it's normal.
Anyway, this was a better color.
Oh, I just love
an air-conditioned car.
Hello?
Hello?
Anybody here?
- Is anybody here?
- No.
- Hey...
- What?
- Lookie here.
- I don't think this is the one.
- How do you know?
- Well, call me crazy,
but aren't the wheels and tires
not sort of a given
for rolling along?
- Buenos días, chiquitas.
My name is Theodore.
I speak three languages.
The best is English.
- Ah...
- Did he call us chiquitas?
- Yes, and his name is Theodore.
- Mm.
- You like this fine car?
I have the power
to sell it to you.
- This is a great car.
How long it's been here?
- Not too long.
Maybe two, three years.
- Did you see two men
and a woman driving this?
- A lot of people
must have been driving it.
- Hmm... the engine's not rusty.
- Dry heat from the sun.
- The rest of the car's
not rusty, either.
- It is well made.
- Hey, you've got
something cold to drink?
- In a bottle?
- Yes, of course.
We are not savages.
- He sounded angry.
- Yeah, I feel it also.
What?
- The old man lies.
The car has been here
for three days.
I know what to look for.
- You saw who was in it?
- Oh, yes.
Two men, one girl, woman.
I think she picked them up.
They went south
through the jungle.
If you pay me five dollars,
I can show you where.
American money, of course.
- You got five bucks?
- No, you?
- No.
- Okay.
- Come on.
- I hope this is not
a dumb move.
- Hey, we got lucky.
Besides,
how can he be suspicious?
Just look at his face.
Hey, get out
of the driver's seat.
- Hello.
There's a car headed for you.
Yes, my grandson is the guide.
Two pretty chiquitas.
I am not going to say a thing.
- Ernesto.
I thought you said
you knew the way.
- I do.
- Then, um...
What are we doing
on this cow path?
- Ernie...
Did we take the wrong road?
There is no shame
in admitting a mistake.
- No, Miss Nicole, no mistake.
This is right.
From here we walk.
- Boy, that's something
you left out, kid.
- Come on, this way.
- I swear, I feel
like we're being watched.
- Hopefully something
with two legs.
I hope it's no snake.
- Oh... there are no snakes
in Ecuador.
- How would you know?
- There are bigsnakes
in Ecuador.
- Well, thank you.
I love knowledge.
- Let's go.
- Come on.
- No luck?
- Nope.
I'm starting to get antsy
about it too.
They should have
checked in by now.
- Well, how many phones
can there be
on the roads out of the city?
- See, the thing is, we don't
know what we're up against.
And the most frustrating part
about it?
We can't call the cops
or anyone official.
- So can't we just hang around?
- All right.
We got two airports to cover,
plus bus stations.
Hey, if we're not here,
they'll leave a message, right?
- Correctamundo.
- Okay.
- I think.
- "I think."
Ernesto?
Where'd he disappear to?
- He was here a second ago.
- Hey! Ernesto!
- Ernie baby...
- Oh... don't tell me.
We fell
for a ten-year-old kid's scam?
- Impossible.
With that face?
- I wonder
where the hell we are.
- Let's not panic.
All we have to do is follow
the trail back to the car.
- Yeah, I'm already
feeling things
creeping and crawling around us.
- I wonder how long before dark.
- Maybe two or three hours.
- Perfect.
Listen, Rambo.
Whatever you think you're up to,
you can forget it.
I'm an American citizen.
- Mm-hmm.
- She's a French citizen.
- Mm...
- Well, you must like
one of those two countries.
- Congratulations.
But down here, ladies, I would
keep that close to your chest.
Good job, good job.
- Listen, I don't know
who you are,
and personally I don't care.
Do you care?
- Whatever works.
- Whatever works.
Um...
We're looking for a young woman.
Somebody's niece.
So... why don't you just
keep doing your thing
and, uh,
we'll keep doing ours, okay?
So... we'll be going now.
- Hold it!
- Okay, who are you people?
- What would you
like to call us?
- Godlike images
of gentleness and kindness?
- That's very nice.
That's very sweet.
But we are just, um...
freedom fighters.
Jaguar...
- They're not
chasing us anymore.
- Maybe whatever it was
is having them for lunch.
- Well, we better keep moving...
or we'll be dessert.
- Lord, show us our car.
Any car.
Even one
with no air conditioning.
Thank you.
Geez...
Could they have been
any more suspicious?
- I think it was your Spanish.
- Yeah, well, if the woman
and the kidnappers
left the city by bus,
it wasn't through there.
- I'm still spooked.
The cop with the Uzi
kept checking us out.
- That's their job.
- I don't care.
All foreign cops look like,
"Ask me where the nearest phone
is and you're toast."
- Come on, Dillinger,
let's hit the airport.
- Are you sure
this is where we left it?
Well, aren't you?
The kid jacked it!
- So much for his angel face.
- Boy, you're never gonna let me
forget that, are you?
- Eventually, yes.
It's just that today
it's not all that.
- Wait till I get
a hold of Tommy.
"Oh, this is gonna be
sort like a vacation."
- He lied.
You know, I have a feeling
that we should start walking.
- Whoa!
- Señoritas...
Let's go.
Please, keep moving.
No trouble, please.
- Where did you come from?
- Just, uh...
What the hell
are we mixed up in here?
- Please...
- We have a date.
- Apparently.
- How does she handle?
- Not bad for a rental.
Steering is loose,
probably the rods.
- You are a good boy.
You are learning your trade.
Someday...
you will be as good as I am.
- Do you have to wait that long?
If I don't kill you first.
- Hey, hey, uh,
have you seen her?
- No, sorry. No.
- Passports, please.
- Yeah, well, what do you need
to see 'em for?
I mean,
what law are we breaking?
- Tell us what you're
doing here.
- Well, not breaking
any law, that's for sure.
- Indulge us, indulge
our curiosity.
That's what killed the cat,
you know.
Joanna...
- I know that animal.
Satisfaction
brought it back, no?
Satisfy us.
Martinez, Customs. Over.
- I'll be there immediately.
Yankees, go home.
- Yankees.
What the hell is this all about?
- I'm sure you can guess.
We're all on watch
for drug smugglers.
We don't want to be known
as the new pipeline
for cocaine or heroin
or anything else
that, that can harm or kill.
You fit the profile.
- Huh, yeah, right.
- You know, if you told us that
from the beginning,
we could have saved you
a lot of time.
- We're in Ecuador.
Time goes by here slowly.
Thank you for your cooperation.
- Sure...
- God...
that outfit is so cool.
Hey...
- What?
Nah, nothing.
For a moment
she looked familiar.
- Of course she does.
National Geographic specials!
- That must be her grandpa.
Probably heading for the burro.
- Yeah...
What's wrong with that picture?
- Her burro has wheels.
- And air conditioning.
Maybe our little lady.
Let's go.
- They're still behind us.
- God, shooting them
in Puerto Vallarta
doesn't seem to have worked.
- Uh-oh.
We're in trouble.
- You are gonna stop,
aren't you?
Hold on!
Whoo, how about that, huh?
- Wow...
What'd you think?
- Wow...
- What, that's it, only one wow?
- Wow, wow, wow.
- All right, yeah,
deserves at least three!
"Acapulco H.E.A.T"
will be right back.
- My little Indian!
You are fantastic!
- I want to take a bubble bath.
- Soon, baby.
You know, we have two visitors
and I don't know who they are
or what we should do with them.
My men want to kill them
but, um, I'd like to know
who it is I'm dispatching
so, baby, baby, if you could
just find out for me, okay?
- And when do I get
to take a bubble bath?
- I thought I answered that
already, huh?
- And I want a hamburger.
- A hamburger.
We're in the jungle.
- Then shoot a cow
and grind him up.
And forget the horns, huh?
- Mmm, I missed you, mami.
- Mmm...
- Yeah...
- Stop.
- Hey! Cuidado.
- God...
- Come here.
Mwuah!
- Whoop!
- I wonder if Michelle
really is in this place.
- Huh?
- Michelle...
The girl we're looking for?
- Oh, yeah, sure.
- I need the bathroom.
Um, uh, baño?
- Do you really have to?
- No.
- We need water... food?
- Yeah, we haven't eaten
all day, you know?
Sí, sí.
Uh, gracias.
- That was easy.
All we need is a key.
- I am a key.
Damn it...
Yes...
- I prefer real flowers.
The scent... the texture.
- Real flowers.
- Hmm... flowers do not rust.
Shh...
If we get out of here...
- When, please, say when.
- When we get out of here,
do you know which way to go?
It's a jungle out there.
- Life is a jungle.
- Now, now, now,
we need a map, not wisdom.
Whew...
- Hi.
- Uh, hi.
- Michelle, right?
- That's me.
- Well, put some clothes on.
We're gonna take you
back to your uncle.
- Oh, that's why you're here.
Ramon didn't tell me that.
I was thinking of becoming
a little jealous or something,
only I think
you're a little too old for him.
- Speaking of old...
Exactly how old are you?
- Me? Um...
I'm 18.
Just... I'm just growing up.
And... how old are you?
- Oh, uh...
a little older.
Hmm...
Just.
- Just.
- Oh.
Michelle.
Open up.
You okay, baby?
- I just got in the bath,
I'm okay.
I'm okay, my lollipop.
- Those two women,
they're running around loose.
- Shh...
- So keep this door
locked, okay?
- Okay! Mwuah!
- How come?
- Because...
I like you.
Besides...
I'm bored.
I wanna go get some men, huh?
- Whoa... hold on, kiddo.
- Oh...
- I think we better get her
back to her uncle fast.
- I have no uncle.
- Yeah, right.
Well, that's not what the man
who hired us said.
- Well, the man who hired you
likes to call me his niece
or his nephew or his daughter
or whatever he feels like
calling me at the time.
- Then he's nothing to you?
- No, he's
a lot more than nothing.
That's the only stretch of
highway we haven't checked out.
- It's hot.
- Well... it's Ecuador.
- You could have said Alaska.
I'd feel better.
- Hey, hey, hey.
We'll get some air.
Why don't you check
for bullet holes
and I'll see if there's
somebody around to help us.
Hi, puppy.
Hello?
Uh, maybe they know something.
Hello?
Hey.
- We are closed, Señor.
No gas, no ice, no beer.
- I, I... no, no, it's okay,
we don't want any of that stuff.
Uh, we just want to ask you
a couple of questions.
- Are you the police?
- No, why?
- I don't like police.
But I still know
nothing about anything.
- Well, I...
- Maybe there's
a grown-up around.
- Hey, what...
What color was the car
that Cat and Nicole rented?
- Mm... that color.
He'll talk now.
- He found me in the alley
like some abandoned cat.
I was 11 or something.
I don't really remember.
And he said
he would teach me things.
Like I didn't already
know those things.
- Are you saying
he molested you?
- I don't know,
can you molest a toy?
- Well, what about the law?
- Well, you've met him.
- Oh. Senator Zero.
- That's right.
You ask silly questions.
- And this Ramon.
Did he know how old you were?
- It's different.
Raymond is my age.
He's 20 or something.
It's not the same.
- It's still statutory rape.
You were underage.
- It was?
- Uh-huh.
- Cool.
That kinda turns me on.
So...
What do we do now?
Take her back?
- How?
- Well, we can't leave her here.
Ramon aside,
who knows what the gang is into?
- You forgetting our actions
are severely limited?
I mean, we're still
prisoners in this place.
And at the mercy
of a bubblegum femme fatale
with the morals of an alley cat.
- Who's not going to help us
blow her scene.
- There, Tommy,
just like I told you.
- Hey, little turd.
Guide us in.
- Okay!
Ramon!
- Well, you sure had
the golden touch.
How can any little kid
resist such sweet words?
- Knock it off!
Gotta get in there.
- Alive.
- All right.
Stay here.
- Well, uh...
Hey, wait a minute.
- Look, no sense
in us all going in.
Besides, we might need cover.
- I'd rather have an Uzi.
You know I don't like
little guns.
- Well, give it back.
- No, uh...
It's bigger already.
Good luck.
- It's about skill, not luck.
- Okay... good skill.
- Right.
Rather have luck.
- You guys wanna turn on?
Huh?
What's the matter with me?
I can't believe I didn't
think about this before.
I just brought in
some primo powder,
but we have to be careful 'cause
it's really, really strong.
It's been stepped on
ever so lightly.
Hmm? I'm gonna call in Raymond
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
- Ho-ho-ho, wait a minute,
wait just a minute.
- But why?
Oh, come on, guys,
he's really cool.
He's great.
- No, no, no.
- Oh, come on.
I... you...
Stay tuned.
The H.E.A.T. team
will be back in a moment.
- Having a party?
Hey, baby.
- They're not very nice.
And they don't want to party
with us.
- Why? What did you tell 'em?
- I don't know.
Nothing.
She told us nothing.
- Ramon, I told 'em
about the new powder
and I thought, you know, we can
all have a taste and everything.
- Oh, that's unfortunate.
I was thinking
of letting them go.
- Oh...
- Now it's impossible.
- We get to keep 'em? Yay!
- Not for long, okay?
- Okay.
Mwuah!
- Take the girls to my room.
- So, ladies...
My apologies for the delay.
- Oh, take all the time
you want.
You lowlife.
- Now, now, no sense
in being bad friends.
You intend to kill us
and you want to be friends.
Are you some kind of nut?
- Untie them.
- Why don't you do that?
- Okay.
But I'm gonna have to
drop you first.
- My men will hear the shots.
- Yeah.
But you'll only hear
the first one.
- Okay.
- I oughta deck you.
How did you find us?
We figured we were history.
- Found your car.
- Our friend Ramon used to be
Senator Zero's chauffeur.
He's the one
who kidnapped Michelle.
- Don't be ridiculous.
I rescued her.
She's here willingly.
- Yeah, right.
- He's sort of right.
She was a minor.
And no relation to our
distinguished employer.
- So, what are you saying?
- That maybe
we should think twice
about delivering her
up to the guy
who has been molesting her
since she was 11.
- There's more to it than that.
Follow it to its conclusion.
- I see that.
The Senator...
didn't want a story about him
and a teenage girl.
- And...
- And he wanted us
to bring her back...
so he could kill her.
- Congratulations.
- But there is even more, Tommy.
Ramon and his friends have been
using Michelle as a mule
to bring smack into the country.
An easy jump from here
to Panama... and points north.
Yeah...
Tie them up!
Oh, again.
- Ramon, Michelle, she's o.d.'d.
- Tie them up!
- Wonderful.
The stupid bitch got a hold
of some of our product
and managed to o.d.
Apparently
her life and usefulness
are over at the same time.
No tears...
It's time to say good-bye.
We've had our fun but now...
it's over.
Maybe we'll meet again
in another life.
And we can continue
this pleasant friendship.
- He's certifiable.
- Totally.
I really hate to
cancel my ukulele lesson,
but I wouldn't miss this trip
for the world.
Even if you people
are only going halfway.
Well, don't come along
on our account.
It's quite all right,
I have a delivery to make.
All right, come on, move it!
Okay!
- Come on.
- Don't turn around,
just get in the van.
Come on, move it.
Drive!
- Whoo-hoo! Whoo!
Oh, why do I do this so well?
- Michelle is still breathing!
- She won't last long.
Neither will you!
- Tell the driver to take us
to a hospital! Now!
- Aah! Hey...
- He's cute, don't you think?
I think so.
- Did you call him?
- Yup... and he's very happy
that she'll live.
In fact, he's coming in person
to take her "home,"
as he put it.
And, uh, he's concerned that we
remain discreet about this.
- And of course we were.
- Yes, of course.
Damn it.
- Just a moment.
Before you make
the mistake of your lives...
Do you know who I am?
- Oh, they,
they know who you are.
They just don't care.
Especially dear Michelle.
- You...
You have to be silent.
The privilege
of the client relationship.
You work for me!
Oh, we haven't said a word.
But they saw everything.
It's called attempted murder.
We won't say a thing.
Scout's honor.
Hey, don't go away.
The H.E.A.T. team
will be back in a moment
I just don't feel right
about this.
Michelle
is still in the hospital
and some of the gang
is still loose.
- Well, the army's
rounding them up now.
We have Ramon and the drugs
and there's a reward due us
for that.
- Yes, and we also got
the retainer from Señor Z-hee
he wrote.
- You're gonna keep that?
- Ye-heah.
That and the first-class tickets
back to Puerto Vallarta.
We shouldn't really stay.
- The hotel rooms are paid for,
the flight leaves
in the morning...
Just enjoy this vacation.
Besides... you can swim
in a different ocean.
- It's still the Pacific.
- Yeah, but it's
a different part.
Look, we haven't got wet here
and we deserve it.
We found Michelle,
didn't we, huh?
Hey!
How's Michelle?
- Consistent.
- What does that mean?
- It means she's in good health
and doing her thing again.
- Her thing?
- Yeah, she has stolen clothes
and she and that good-looking
attendant ran away together.
- Gosh, she's only 18.
- She's legal
but the boy is only 15.
- Then she's a wanted woman.
- Oh, they already found her.
- So let the police
take care of her then.
We're off the hook.
- All right, come on, come on,
come on, come on.
Are we gonna
get in there or what?
Come on!
Game's on.
Oh...
Don't even think about it.