About a Boy (2014–2015): Season 2, Episode 3 - About a Will-O-Ween - full transcript

Police! Open up!

Ooh!

What the bloody hell?

Are you okay, Marcus?

Here we go again.

Past Halloween
emotional scarring.

He doesn't like
to talk about it.

No. It's okay, mom.

I'm going to tell Will.

It's 2009.

I'm seven.



It's just another
average run of the mill

trick-or-treating
with my mother.

Oh. So sorry.

That's not the traumatic part.

Keep going.

This kid dressed as Frankenstein

just comes up and just...

Just smashes this
egg on my head.

And we knew it wasn't
organic, didn't we?

It's 2011.

This vicious dog just gets
enraged by my bunny costume.

Just chases me and chases me.

I mean, I found you holed
up in a little doghouse.

I may or may not



have eaten some kibble
to sustain myself.

But the point is

- I have a Halloween curse.
- Yeah.

Look, some bad luck in the past.

Some questionable
judgment with the kibble.

But are you going to let a
couple of bad experiences

ruin the greatest
holiday of the year?

Which, by the way,
is why I'm here.

Come with me.

Look at this!

Hmm? Feast your eyes.

This is how it's done.

Even if I called

those two pathetic pieces
of corn decoration,

they are for Thanksgiving,
not Halloween.

How many bloody holidays
do you people have?

None as important as Halloween.

I, myself, throw an annual party

that is legendary...
Will-O-Ween.

- Will-O-Ween?
- Uh-huh.

Anyway, the point is

I'm going to the Halloween store

to get even more of
this wonderment,

and you are coming with me

because you need to make
your side of the porch

a little less suicide-inducing.

We're going to be
loaded to the gills

with trick-or-treaters,
and we need to be ready.

Yeah, no, we don't
give out treats.

What?

Halloween is a made up
American holiday...

Invented to encourage
obesity and diabetes.

Mom hasn't had
sugar in 12 years.

Yeah.

That's not all your mother
hasn't had in 12 years, Marcus.

Hey.

Un-hear that.

Oh!

Sorry.

Um... Can we go?
This place is awful.

Look. That could be me.

Uh, no it couldn't.

But, yeah, maybe someone
will forget a costume.

- High five?
- Ah!

What I... what is that?

That... you're only getting
decorative markers?

I've had a brilliant idea

for making some
Halloween treats.

Ah!

I highly doubt that.

Don't you think you're
going a bit overboard

with the whole
Will-O-Ween of it all?

'Cause I'm not supposed
to be spending as much

because my "royalty" checks
have "stopped coming"?

Why do you keep putting
things in air quotes

that are actually happening?

Do you think maybe you're
throwing this party

to mask your feelings about
your break-up with Sam?

I'm not masking them, Fiona.

I am mending them.

Every time life throws
me a major setback,

I throw a three Bs party.

- Three Bs?
- Mm-hmm.

What is that?

Brown rice buyers
and baba ghanoush?

Please don't ever make jokes.

No, it's booze, bros, and babes.

You loved her.

You can't fill a void
with three Bs, Will.

Oh, trust me, I can.

It's worked in the past.

This three Bs party is going
to cleanse my system.

It's going to get me
back to classic Will...

Will 1.0.

Will, Will, listen to me, okay?

You cannot bury your
sadness that is in here...

oh, I feel the
void, I feel it...

with parties and strangers.
My hands don't lie.

You have to mourn the
end of a relationship.

You... getting back to
your life before Sam

is going to be very, very hard.

It's a long road.

- That's a good point.
- Yeah.

Would you like to come to
a party tomorrow night?

That sounds like fun.

- I'm Rachel.
- Hi, I'm Will.

Will 1.0.

Um, now,

what do you have in the vein
of like adult bouncy houses?

- We're busy.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm just dropping off
Andy's Tonto costume. Okay.

- Okay.
- Settle down.

- He's not going to need it.
- Hey. Check it out.

We're doing a family
costume this year.

Andy and I are the pods,

- and these guys are our peas.
- Mm...

- That's cute, right?
- Mm-hmm.

Andy, don't move.
I got to go get

the hot glue gun
for your crotch.

Why does the glue need to
be hot for the crotch?

- Dude, what are you doing?
- What?

We always go to Will-O-Ween
dressed as a famous duo.

I can't have you showing
up dressed like a...

- Giant green penis.
- I'm a pea pod.

Take a look in the mirror, dude.

You are a penis.

I'm going all out this
year for Will-O-Ween,

and I need you there. We got
the cotton candy machine,

we got the DJ, we got
the Margarita machine,

- we got the photo booth.
- Whoa. You're doing three Bs?

- Yes!
- This is going to be epic.

Exactly. And that's why I need

my bro there, and I
need him to look

a lot less like the
jolly green weiner.

All right, this is the plan.

Me, Laurie, and the kids are
going to go trick-or-treating,

then we're going to come
over to your house late.

Laurie's going to be exhausted.

She's going to want to leave.

I wear the Tonto costume

underneath this
pea pod nonsense,

and then me and you bro down

all night long.

Wouldn't it be easier
just to get a divorce?

Ha-ha-ha. That's hilarious.

- Hey, here's an idea.
- Yeah.

Why don't you go as Tonto?

I go as lone ranger
for a change.

What do you think about that?

What? Just to switch it up.

Yeah, get in there.
Don't be shy.

Go shoulder deep.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, happy Halloween.

Hi! Look at what
I've got for you.

Sweets for the soul.

Little baseball lady bird.

Mom, it's a rock!

Oh, honey.

- I don't want it.
- Oh.

Come on, kids. Let's get away

from the mean rock lady.

No, it's lovely, it's...

Are you serious? Rocks?

Well, they're not rocks.
They're affirmation rocks.

- It's very different.
- No...

We've inscribed each one
with words of affirmation.

Like, "try to be a rainbow
in someone's cloud."

Oh, that's Maya Angelou.
It's beautiful, isn't it?

- I miss her every day.
- I know you do.

Okay, guys. This is not a treat.

This is a trick, a
terrible trick.

- And where are your costumes?
- I don't do costumes, Will.

Oh, am I going to hear another
one of these curse stories?

It's 2012. I'm dressed
as a vampire...

Got it, enough.
What's your excuse?

I'm wearing a costume.
I'm a '60s flower child.

Fiona, Halloween is the one day

you can be someone else.

Don't pass up that
opportunity, all right?

Hey. Welcome to Will-O-Ween.

- They are not Sam.
- Have some fun.

- I am fun.
- We disagree.

I am needed. I am fun.

Here it is, kids.

Your first Will-O-Ween. Huh?

Yup. Hey, Uncle Will!

Hey! Andy!

Yes! Laurie.

The... uh... the peas.

We need a bathroom.

Yeah, upstairs. Yeah.

Don't "pea" on the floor. Ho-ho!

Will-O-Ween is going off,
going on all cylinders.

Check it out. Look.

Yes!

I got my bro, I got my booze.

We got two 'ritas, and
I think we've got...

Just in time, we've
got the babes.

This is the babe I was
talking to you about.

Wow. Dressed like
a doctor though,

just like Sam. Is that weird?

- Hey, Rachel.
- Hey.

Nice to see you. You made it.

Actually, it's Dr. Rachel.

Do you need me to check
your vitals, sir?

Hope you don't mind I brought
a few of my girlfriends.

Oh, hi. Hello, hello.

This is my best friend Andy.

- Pirates.
- Who would like a Margarita?

Oh. I hope you're not drinking.

Of course I'm not drinking.

We're pregnant. Remember?

How did you get
down here so fast?

Oh, I'm everywhere, Andy.

Everywhere.

Oh, are you the lady
handing out rocks?

Yes, I'm the evil rock
lady upsetting children.

I know it was a stupid idea now.

It's actually quite a
cool idea, really.

Are you lying?

No, I'm... no, not at all.

I... you know, treats to inspire
and instill confidence.

I mean, that's... that's
something to be saluted,

- isn't it?
- That's so nice,

'cause that's exactly
what I thought.

Except it seemed really to
only inspire disappointment

and in one case, vandalism.

Right.

Gosh, well done with
the Sherlock Holmes.

But, you know, you can stop
doing the accent... it's okay.

Oh, no, I'm... I'm from
London, so it's not...

- No.
- Yes.

- You are?
- Yeah, I am indeed.

Yeah, maybe it's because
I'm a londoner.

♪ That I love London town ♪

- ♪ Portobello road ♪
- Oh, Chelsea!

Oh, right, really?

Et cetera.

May... may I?

Oh, yes! Um...

That one. Here you are.

Thanks.

Hmm.

"Be open to unexpected
love and kindness."

Hmm.

- Lovely.
- Are you a friend

of Will's, are you?

Oh, no, I'm meeting a
friend there, yeah.

I mean, I know Halloween's

a silly, made up
American holiday.

- I know!
- Well, I have to say

I have rather fallen hook,
line, and sinker for it.

Me too.

- Great.
- Yeah.

Arabian princess, I presume?

Well done, detective.

You've detected an
Arabian princess.

- Thank you, Watson.
- Princess Watson.

Yeah, maybe I'll... maybe
I'll see you in the...

- On the way out.
- Yes, oh, right, yes.

- Yeah, yeah.
- All right.

Bye. Bye.

Excellent. You made it.

Can you turn the
music down, please?

What? That's why you're here?

Uh...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What just happened?

- What?
- What... you...

you like the architect guy.

Is he an architect?

That is intriguing, isn't it?

That's a proper job.

All right, spill, flower lady.

No, no, there's
nothing to spill.

I mean, he's... he's
awfully tall, isn't he?

But, yeah, I just
met him outside

and, I mean, there may or
may not have been a spark.

Maybe it wasn't a sp... ohh...

I got to get back
to my affirmations.

Wait, no, no! Fiona, honestly?

Okay, you know what? I have
an affirmation for you.

You are worthy

of having a piece of
candy once in a decade

or having a drink, or dancing,

or even chatting up that
architect guy, okay?

Come on, Fiona!
You're killing me.

I'm going to get you a drink.

Don't move. Do not move!

"Blaze a trail."

Rrrrr!

Little man! You made it.

You're here. That's awesome.

Uh, yeah, battling my demons.

Both literal and figurative.

I'm going to get
back to my rocks.

No, hold on, dude. Look.

We got the cotton candy
machine over there.

Why don't you go get
some cotton candy?

I've got to take care of
this situation right now,

but I'm telling you, Marcus,

no harm can come to
you at Will-O-Ween.

Go get 'em.

The past is not the present.

Thoughts aren't things.

There's no such
thing as a curse.

There's no such
thing as a curse.

Hey, let's get this thing
off the dance floor.

No, no, stop!

Let me out! Let me out!

I'm in the photo booth.

- Hey, honey.
- I am so tired.

I'll take the kids
if you want to stay.

I couldn't stay.
How could I stay?

You want me to stay?
Should I stay?

Are you wearing another costume?

What are you talking
about, another costume?

Honey, that's not...

what are you... honey, don't...
what are you doing?

You're embarrassing me in
front of all the people.

Let's go... you're
coming home with me now.

Hold on, hold on. Listen
to me, listen to me.

Listen to me, okay?
Don't take Andy.

I need Andy. You need Andy?

Yeah. It's the most important
Will-O-Ween of my life,

and I can't handle
it without him.

- He's my other half.
- No. He's my other half.

And it's not Will-O-Ween.
It's Halloween.

It's a holiday for
children, so grow up.

- No, it's not.
- Let's go, Andy.

- Come on, guys.
- Wait, come on, no.

Seriously, please.

You can't do this.

- Come on.
- All right, well,

you know what?

- Take off the Tonto costume.
- What?

You've lost sidekick privileges.

You have been de-Tontoed.

Oh. Wow.

Gosh, that's
beautiful, isn't it?

Oh, thank you. You,
uh, caught me.

Do you make low income
housing for gummy bears?

Well, I am an architect.

- Oh.
- Ah, yes, but, um...

I've just been struggling

with this cantilevered
roof all week,

and now at least I
can safely say that

a vanilla wafer is
not the answer.

Aww.

I normally don't eat this stuff.

No, I know. It's terrible
for you, isn't it?

- Yeah, but it's so good.
- Is it?

- Mmm.
- Mmm?

Oh. Yeah. Okay.

I'll have one of those.

Hmm?

Oh, that's actually
bloody good, isn't it?

That's not bad. Not bad.

Another? Um... Okay.

I will.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

We're going to get really
sugar high, aren't we?

Does Dr. Rachel need
to examine you?

Stick out your tongue.

Come on, stick out your tongue.

And make out with me.

I-I, uh, I think you
got to maybe like

put the doctor thing,
like, tone it down.

Ohh!

You seem upset.

Turn your head and cough for me.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Hold on one second.

Um...

Uh...

Um, I got to... I
got to take this.

I... stay here.
I-I'll be right back.

Hello, Sam, hello?

Hey, Will.

Sorry, I, um, for calling.

I-I didn't know if it would
upset you, I just...

No, no, it's...

it's... I'm glad you called.

I just wanted to
hear your voice.

It's nice to hear
your voice too.

It's so loud over there.
What are you doing?

Fiona's having a
Halloween party.

Fiona! Keep it down over there!

I-I didn't go to any
Halloween parties this year.

Wasn't really in the mood.

Um...

Yeah, no, me too. I-I just...

How are you doing?

I'm doing...

Not... not great. Ha.

Well, happy, um, happy
Halloween, Will.

Yeah, happy Halloween, Sam.

Um...

Tell Marcus I said, "hi,"
next time you him him, okay?

Yeah, I will.

Marcus?

- Are you in there?
- Will?

- Marcus?
- Will, help.

I can't breathe in here.

Hey, Sam, hold on one second.
Hold on a second.

What happened?

You okay, man?

No, Will, I'm not okay.

I told you, I'm cursed.

Sorry about that. Um, Sa-Sam?

Sam.

- Hey.
- Hey.

What are you doing out here?

Oh, you know...

Ahh...

I'm just taking a
break, you know?

When a party's this
fun, you got to...

Pace yourself.

I wish I could move past
stuff as easily as you.

I mean, you just broke up with Dr.
Sam.

Life knocked you down.

But all it took was you
throwing this great party,

and it's... it's like
she never happened.

Yeah.

You know what?

Will-O-Ween sucks.

Let's break this curse.

I'm going to be

- perfectly honest with you.
- Okay.

You're really filling out
the Tonto costume well.

I think I should be
the lone ranger.

Trick or treat. There you go.

Trick or treat.

- Okay, we're doing all right.
- All right.

Oh, sorry.

I've never even had
this much sugar.

Scoop, scoop!

Oh...

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Chug! Chug!

Too much. Sorry.

Hey.

- Stop it!
- Stop, please stop!

This is a rite of
passage, Marcus.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Fire away.

Bombs away!

Thank you very much.

That was really the
nicest Halloween I've...

well, that I've
ever had, actually.

Well, then, in that
case, you know,

I feel like, um, perhaps...

Uh, so sorry. I-I can't remember

- what your name is.
- Oh.

It's Princess Glucosea.

My people have low blood sugar

and I should probably
get back to them.

Mm.

You know, a wise
person once told me to

"be open to unexpected
love and kindness."

I got one right then.

Good night then. Night.

Oh, ho-ho, ho-ho. Okay.

So what was your favorite
part of tonight?

Seeing Andy get egged.

I really think the Halloween
curse is broken now.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's the best
holiday of the year, man.

You know what? I think
I just had to go

- with the right person.
- Well,

you're in, Andy's out.
That's for sure.

Next year, we're going
as Maverick and Goose.

I don't know who that is.

Yeah, I know, but
I'll teach you.

All right.

You know, Will...

I really miss Dr. Sam too.

She's very easy to miss.

Look, I know it may
not be the same,

but until you find another Sam,

I'm available to hang.

- Thank, buddy.
- No problem.

Listen, I think the
key for Halloween...

- Mm-hmm.
- Is to eat all the candy

in one night.

Look at all those wrappers.

Do you think he ate all that?

Oh, no, no, no. Yeah,
see, his window's open.

I'm sure most of them
got sort of blown in

by the wind.

I actually don't think
it's a bad thing.

I think it's good to sometimes

step outside your comfort zone,

and have fun in a different way.

- Really?
- Mmm.

So, how was your night?

You get any... Sugar?

Well, I might have had a taste.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Lovely.

Anyway, I believe this is yours.

Someone hurled it through
my window last night.

Oh, Maya Angelou, so beautiful.

Do you know I've actually set
a lot of her poetry to music?

I'm never going to
want to hear it, okay?

- ♪ Be a rainbow ♪
- Stop it, stop it!