A League of Their Own (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Cut Off - full transcript

- Charlie?
- Surprise.

Wait, were gonna
wake my roommate.

I go where I please,
I do what I please,

and I don't say please.

It's okay to want
things, Carson.

Yeah. Just like you wrote me
about in your letter.

You got my letter?

Oh, Carson.

- Carson.
- Carson. Carson.

Carson.

Carson.



Carson. Carson, wake up!

Wake up. Oh!
You were having a night terror!

Oh, we really are like sisters.
I get them too.

Sets the tone
of the whole day.

And my day too now.
Not to blame you.

'Cause you're the victim
of the night terror.

But now my day's off too.

Howdy, neighbor.

Hey, hi.

Uh, actually, you know what?
That's a... This is a bad spot.

Um, Shirley's really weird
about her bed, so...

Ugh, Shirley's weird
about everything.

Yeah, I'm not.
Um, about you being on my bed. It's fine.

- How's it going, chickadee?
- Um, it's good.



Don't be boring.

What, you still haven't heard
back since you sent your letter?

- It's kind of our letter. You were heavily involved.
- Uh-huh.

'Cause I don't think I ever would
have written that kind of a thing.

I mean, certainly,
there was a lot of alcohol...

- There was a lot of alcohol.
- Yeah, um...

I was thinking, maybe we could try,
um, I don't know,

to be just friends?

Friends can mean
a lot of different things.

Yeah. Like, so many.
In this case, I think, maybe,

just like, real friends. Like this.
So we can talk about stuff.

And then we wouldn't
do anything else.

Things that friends
don't usually do.

Oh, right.

I remember now. Those things.

I guess I only have one real friend,
so another one wouldn't hurt.

Good morning, Mrs. Brown.

Reverend Luther,
how's that grandbaby doing?

All right. Enjoy!
Mm-hmm.

Good morning.

- Gladys!
- Miss Toni.

She married to a deacon, so she thinks
she a shoo-in for the head usher

since Miss Rose moved on.

Didn't Miss Rose
get hit by a car?

Like I said.

Anyway, if everything
at the revival goes straight,

then the only thing she'll be ushering
is her big ol' head to the back row!

Head Usher Chapman,
look at you.

Look at you!

Stepping up at the salon
and stepping up at church.

That's my Maxine.

I will go on a sex strike.

- Oh, come on.
- Shh!

- Oh, sorry. Sorry, Miss Toni.
- Punctuality is a virtue.

- Yes, Miss Toni. Come on.
- Mm-hmm. Remember that now.

Okay, now.

They're your friends.
Come on, baby.

Well, look at you, blushing.

So, what's the word
on you two?

The word is good.

You think I could look like a man
with my hair tucked back like this?

No. You look too soft.

I'm not soft.

Why you wanna look
like a man anyway?

Just sometimes think things
would be easier if I was one.

- And maybe you wouldn't be calling me soft.
- Oh.

Plus, I got this interview
at the factory,

and they ain't hirin' Maxines.

Okay... Max.

Hand me my purse.

I gotta get to the tent.

Donald's got the consecration
at 8:00.

What if you weren't
looking at me too closely?

Mmm.

I'd say you were a stud.

Oh, my God. Who is she talking to?
The President? I mean...

She's not picking up.
I just wanna know if he's written.

Oh, gosh. 'Cause when I don't
hear from Irving for a day,

feels like my heart is being
trampled by a herd of rhinos.

Oh, yeah. It's the same with me.
It's like rhinos, and...

- Yeah.
- I'm just gonna try one more time.

Ladies! Paychecks!
Paychecks, ladies.

Paychecks, ladies.

- What? Oh.
- Oh, God! Yes! I'm rich!

They spelled my name wrong.

I have no idea
what you are saying. Good job.

I don't trust paper money.

Gimme. Gimme!

I say we send this
to your mom as an F.U.

It's more money
than she's ever seen.

- Yeah, but then she'd know where we are.
- Greta!

Ladies, may I suggest
purchasing war bonds,

which are both a prudent
and patriotic way to invest.

Not only in your country...

Surprised we're even
getting a check.

Eight games in and we're the worst team in the league.

Uh, so, I overheard
Sarge and Artie talking,

and apparently we have the
lowest attendance in the league.

- Oh, pshh.
- So?

Well, every time I'm on a sinking boat,
the first thing I do is drop the dead weight.

- What does that mean?
- Mmm.

How many sinking boats
have you been on?

Tell me about each one.

Enjoy it, Carson.
It's our last one.

Wait, why? What happened?

Oh... Don't listen to her.
What are you gonna spend yours on? Go.

Um...

- I'm probably just gonna save it.
- Okay.

Yeah.
Charlie and I don't have that much, and, um,

he did always talk about
wanting to buy a house someday.

- So...
- Oh. That's nice.

Well, I'm gonna
spend it all.

Maybe on
a real live fur coat!

Oh, wow.

- Well, probably not a live one, right?
- Yeah.

Though I wonder how
much that would cost.

Say, Dove, why don't you tell our readers
about what it was like facing Joltin' Joe?

Oh, God. Facing DiMaggio was like
reeling a tarpon during a twister.

- Okay.
- But even he could never hit my forkball. Not once.

Oh, and this little lady is gonna
continue the forkball tradition.

Thanks, Coach. I'm really just
happy to be getting some in there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
By the time I get done with her,

her arm's gonna be meaner
than Bob Feller.

You can call her Li'l Dove.

- Okay.
- No, better yet, better yet, the Spanish Striker.

Oh!

Right? Margarita on the Mound,

grew up in Texas from
one of the Spanish counties.

Right, right. Spice.

Maybe we should have told him
I write for the Tribune.

- Then e would have given us the time of day.
- Pshh.

Oh! Sorry, Shaw,
I didn't mean to talk bad

about your little daddykins.

He's not my daddy.
He's a jerk.

Oh! Look who finally
decided to join the party!

Hey! We don't need a "Told you so,"
we need a plan.

We can't practice for
two hours a day and win

when the Blue Sox are
practicing for six hours a day.

Don't worry about it.
I have everything under control.

All right,
tell us more about the Majors.

Ted Williams.
Tell me more about Ted.

Well, I would never kiss and tell, but,
uh, I did make love to Ted one time.

- Okay! Thank you!
- That was in the Minors.

- Dove, thanks, man.
- Good to see ya.

Maybe you wanna speak to
one of our other players?

Or you can come
to the games, you know?

We could, uh, really use
the coverage.

Yeah, you know what?

The only reason I'm here is because your
boss threatened to pull his candy bar ads

if I didn't give him a headline.
Don't push your luck.

Hey, Coach.

My elbow's a little tweaked.
Do you think it's my grip or something?

Well, I'll tell you something
Red Ruffing asked me,

"You think you're hurt, buddy?
Or are you just tired?"

Oh. Yeah, no,
I'm just tired.

- You sure?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.

Good man.

- Hello, Dove.
- Ladies.

No.

Uh, Coach.
Uh, sugar cream.

Made it myself.
It's not my finest.

But I just wanted to give you
a token of our appreciation.

Thank you, Shaw.

Uh, my ex-wife used
to make me pies.

- This one reminds me of her complexion.
- Oh.

Understandably,
I'm more of what you would call a muffin man.

- Mmm.
- In any case, we'll pass this around later.

- Okay.
- Right now, we're practicing our sport.

- Thanks.
- Yeah, about the baseball practice,

I would love...

to talk more.

Wow.

- A pie?
- A pie.

That was your big plan?
Bake him a pie?

Okay, it was
a conversation pie.

- Oh, it was a conversation pie.
- A conversation pie? Of course.

All right, I was gonna give it to
him and then we'd get to chatting,

and then I could casually suggest,
you know, practicing cutoffs and rundowns,

and practicing more in general. And then
maybe, just maybe, we could get a goddamn game

under our belt! A win!

Okay, see, now that actually sounds good.
You should just say that.

Yeah.
I mean, I'm just waiting for the right time.

I mean, clearly
he prefers muffins, so...

- Muffins?
- You know what?

I'll go talk to Dove.
Man to man.

- That's right. Go for it.
- Oh, Miss Gill.

Yeah.

A gentleman has requested the opportunity
to take you out to dinner this Saturday.

Ooh! Is he cute?

He was a man with a shirt.

And an interest in the Peaches,
which is a rare breed these days.

Hmm.

I'll tell him
to expect us then?

Us? Are you going
on my date with me?

League rules require that chaperones
accompany players out with men.

I've been told my conversation
skills are adequate.

Can't wait.

Yeah, you think so?
Get moving!

What the hell?

You gonna tell me
how to coach?

Run faster!
Get those hooves moving!

- Give me 20 more.
- Hey! Lay off her.

Hey, De Luca said
I should push the team harder,

so I'm just giving a little extra push.
Pick up those hooves!

- You wanna join me, lips?
- I do wanna join.

Take one more step,
I'll give you 100.

A hundred more?
I could do 100 more.

Greta, stop.
He's gonna make it worse.

I played in the Bigs.

You wanna tell me how to coach
a team of ladies in skirts?

I didn't think so.

Gentlemen, welcome
to Rockford Tool and Screw.

We make the parts
that hold America together.

Some people might say,
"Screw screws!"

But what's a tank
without screws?

Just a pile of metal.

An airplane?
Also a pile of metal.

A rifle? A slightly smaller...

All right, we get
the point, right?

What now, Karen?

There's a problem
with one of your recruits.

Take off the hat.

This is "Max" Chapman?

Look, I know you were
expecting something different.

But I promise I will work
twice as hard as anyone here.

And I really need this job.

I got kids. Eight of them!

- And I gotta feed most of them.
- I don't care.

Can you lift 50 pounds? Are you willing
to get the shit burnt out of your hand?

Yes! And I... I guess so.

- Great. You can stay.
- But, Lou.

Are you two angling to work
with liquid metal now?

I lost two whole shifts
of colored guys

'cause Uncle Sam realized
they can shoot.

We just need bodies.

Follow me!

Guess you were hiring.

In these uncertain times,

it feels like

we need God more than ever.

Yes.

I got the job.

They want me
to start right away.

And they want me working nights,
so I don't have to tell momma a thing.

- What, whilst working days at the salon?
- Mm-hmm.

Did you turn into Plastic Man
when I wasn't watching?

You know I don't know
who that is.

Well, he stretches
himself, obviously.

And, what, you got
invisibility power too?

Because you know Miss Toni's
gonna notice you sneaking out.

- Amen!
- She don't notice everything.

Shh!

Sorry.

But fine,
you got on the team though.

You actually get to play?

Yeah, uh...

Coach just wants to... He's gonna work
with me first till I start my first game.

Mom will come and see me
in all my glory.

She'll understand.

I don't know, Max.
All the lying, sneaking around,

it's gonna get
to be too much.

Before you know it, you won't be able
to sleep, you'll start feeling sick,

and throwing up.
I mean, probably, you know.

Aren't you supposed
to be happy for me?

- I am! Of course I am.
- Shh!

Because if our men are gonna
risk their lives abroad,

we ain't letting them
come home to Jim Crow.

No.

Y'all been reading
The Defender!

We won't sink down to their hatred.

We will rise up and fight.

We need a double victory.

You okay?

Yeah. It is hot.
It's hot, right? It's hot.

Now,
I ask you to spare what coin you can,

for the families

of our departing men.

Y'all hear me, church?

Yeah, they're doing segregated
units out there too. Poor bastards.

Oh! Oh, my God!

Lord, she felt the Spirit.

No, she saw
that basket coming.

Clance, baby,
you okay?

What happened?

Wait, is my mom here?
Mama?

- Guy moves fast!
- A baby already?

Girl...

- I fainted, not died.
- I hear you.

Mm-hmm.

Feel better.

Gary.

Hey, Maxine.

I had fun the other night.

I was thinking we try Blue Moon next.
You like jazz?

Honestly, no.
But it sounds fun.

So, I need some advice.

You know, now that I got the job,
I gotta pitch for Coach soon, so...

Baseball all you think about?

No.

I'm thinking about us.

I'm thinking about all the time
we would get to spend together

if we were on the same team.

Look, Coach only listens to Fowkes,
since he came from the Braves.

You want a real shot,
you gotta win him over.

- No! No, no, no, no.
- He's still sore about the puffy cheeks thing.

No, there has to be someone else.
Anyone else!

What about the catcher?
The one with the big ears?

- He's gotta have some...
- Just Fowkes.

He's the prime rib.

Only way to get to him
is to go through his ego

and, Lord knows, you ain't
got the stomach for that.

- Your father was a welder?
- Yep!

Taught me everything
he knows.

- Uh-huh?
- Most things. Some things. About welding.

Fowkes.

You gotta be kidding me.

You told me you just needed
someone with a pulse, so... here.

Afternoon!

Evening, I mean, sorry,
I gotta get used to that.

Mr. Fowkes,
I wanted to apologize about the other day.

The whole cheeks thing.

The truth is
I was intimidated by you.

- Really?
- Yes.

I just said those things
because I was...

Jealous?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Jealous. Of you.
Obviously.

Because you're twice...
Ten times the player that I am.

Sir.

All right.
Let's see what you got.

Keep it level.
Don't dig in.

Okay.

Alma...

That's my grandmother's name.

Hey, hey!

Mind your own business.

You in?
Vegas rules. Dollar buy-in.

- Double for her. She can afford it.
- Mm-hmm.

We'll do a best in five.

I said
mind your own business.

Say something else.
Say, um, "I'm a happy lady!"

- Okay. Repeat after me.
- Yeah. Okay.

- I am...
- I am...

- an...
- an...

- idiot.
- idiot.

I am an idiot.

- Ow!
- No. Just forget about Dove, okay?

- Oh, so no more pies then?
- Yeah. Okay.

No more pies.

- Let's also try not to get kicked out of the league.
- Mmm.

You know, I don't care if he kicks me out!
He can't do that to her!

Can we please
stop...

Sorry, but I'm choking on it
'cause talk about getting kicked out,

I can't handle it anymore.

Okay, hold on a second.
All right.

Gehrig used to say that it's the
players that make the manager,

not the other way around.
We don't even need Dove.

We just need to practice more.

- Shaw, that's it.
- Wait, what does that mean?

Tonight,
the Peaches fly!

- Or... Not fly. What does a peach do?
- Leave the fruit basket?

- Fall from the tree.
- Finally ripen.

Finally ripen. Mmm.

- That's it.
- Eh.

Let's get our gear.

Should we tell Lupe?

God, no. She's up Dove's ass.

Shh.

Where are we going?

Oh, oh! This?

It's a helmet.

You should really
consider investing in one.

Hey. Hey,
who's touching my butt?

- Sorry, it's me. I just love butts!
- Stop!

Guys, we're here
to practice.

How are we supposed to practice?
can't even see my own face.

You can never see
your own face.

Flashlights.

Tag!

Hey, you little
horse's butt!

Be careful not to actually
fall into this...

Shaw!

- No. Don't you dare.
- Stop it.

Oh, my God.

♪ Show them what you can do ♪

♪ Make a hullabaloo ♪

♪ Tra-la-la-la, la-la,
la-la Count your blessings and smile ♪

♪ Oooooh! ♪

And center. And right.

And center.
Stretch it out, girls.

- Nice.
- Yes! Way to go, Esti. That's the way!

Good job.

The other one.

And now the elbow.

That's it!

Hey, uh, I can
finish that up for you.

You should rest your arm
for the big game.

Happy to help.
Whenever I can.

Maxine?
Promptness is a virtue.

Okay. Uh, I'll be right out.

- Ugh.
- Okay, that's all right. That's all right. Shirl,

- swing like a French hooker at high tide.
- Mm-hmm.

See, I don't know any...
I don't understand that reference, so...

Lead with your hips,
and your hands will follow.

- That's what I said.
- I...

Take your time.

That's the way!
That's the way, Shirl!

The seams are
looking good, Chapman.

Thanks.

Say, did you know that Bette Davis'
real name is Ruth?

Ha! That's crazy.

Yeah. Crazy.

Home!

Gotcha!

Even if you back pedal?

Wait for it. Wait for it.

Ho-ho! Oh, boy.

- How are you doing this?
- Practice.

♪ Oh, Canada! ♪

♪ La, la, la
She can pee ♪♪

I don't understand from a
structural point of view.

- Are you guys seeing this right now?
- I am so jealous!

- How could you? 'Cause if it goes...
- Oh, my God!

- If you were to...
- Jess, can you teach me?

That one kinda looks
like a rooster, right?

Those two stars there are the little
neck thing, whatever it's called.

You would know.

All right. For the last time,
I am not from a farm, okay?

- Idaho has actual towns.
- Oh!

It's a wattle.

You knew. You knew.

My mom used to make up
constellations.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

She said that what you see in the stars
says a lot about who you are as a person.

Hmm.

That one kinda looks like a
clam holding a machine gun.

Okay.
What would she say that that says about you?

I have no idea.

She left when I was ten.

Completely broke my dad.
That's exactly what I'm doing to Charlie.

Just because you're married doesn't
mean you can't have a dream.

You don't get it.
I'm so much like her.

I'm selfish.

The stars can't tell you
that you're selfish.

You're actually just really...

Shellfish.

- No. You're right.
- Uh-huh.

I have to face facts.

That you're just
plain old...

Shellfish.

I know, it's terrible.
You have...

- Hot dog time!
- Oh, my God!

- Hot dog's here. Joey's the sausage.
- Joey, you scared me!

This is cozy.

Top of the sixth,
and it's still tied up at two-two.

Two outs and a runner on second,
the Belles are looking to take the lead.

Full count. Dove Porter's patented forkball
not quite clicking with the Striker.

Can she get them out of this
and get that elusive first win?

- Come on, girl. You got this.
- Burn it!

Come on, Shirley.

Home! Come on!

She's out!

- What a throw!
- Yes!

And the Peaches stay alive
another inning.

Oh, yeah!

- Nice catch!
- Nice. You saw that?

We did it!
Just like we practiced!

Uh, hey, Coach?

I think they're onto the forkball,
and it's just not dropping.

I think we need
to switch it up.

I'm fine! You're just
getting in my head.

- I am?
- Hey, hey, we're all friends here, okay?

I told you.
It starts just like a fastball.

Then the ball's gonna slip from your
fingers when you snap your wrist.

Right? It's like a hinge.
Work with me here.

Bottom of the ninth.
Two on, two out.

And the Peaches pin their hopes
on... Cohen. Really?

You should tell him
to pinch-hit Ana.

'Cause I had a sandwich earlier,
and it turned.

Shirley, you had a peanut butter sandwich.
It's fine. You got this.

- You're okay.
- It turned though.

It... Peanut butter
does not turn. You're good.

Listen, just do it like
we did in practice, okay?

Like...
a French hooker.

- French hooker.
- Here we go!

You got this. Come on!

You got it!

Shirley!

Shirley, run!

- Safe!
- The Peaches win! The Peaches win!

They pulled Garcia
out of that fox hole.

Dove Porter found
some magic today.

I'm a great coach.

Shirley! Shirley! Shirley!

No, thank you. It really was all of us.
It was me physically, my body,

but it was the support system
that I had.

Good job, friend.

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

How did you do that?

No, it's a throw.
It's a throw.

- Unlike any other.
- Oh, man.

Oh, my...

- This is my favorite one.
- Here you go.

- Oh, no.
- Aw.

I need to like...
My dress needs to slow down.

Yikes. Thank you.

Friends can mean
a lot of different things.

- Stop it. I'm not like you. Stop.
- What?

I'm normal. Stop.

Or maybe you're
just an asshole.

Greta...

Chapman! Chapman!

Congrats. You're on days
starting tomorrow.

- Wait, what?
- It's a good thing.

We got another batch
of P-51 Mustangs coming in,

and Fowkes wants
you with him.

No. I'm more of a night owl.

You're gonna have to be a day owl.
That's a thing, right?

Huh?

Oh, no.

Okay. Okay.

We talk about
everything. Usually.

Well, it's like she's keeping
secrets from me now.

I just don't understand.

Hey, uh, is Mama around?
I wanna talk to her about something.

At the market.
You okay?

Yeah.

Wait, what are
you two talking about?

Uh, dogs.

- Wrench handles.
- Yeah.

Huh.

I don't think Clance wanted to tell me
'cause she's scared I'll be a bad father.

Hell, I'm scared, too.

What should I do?

When Toni was pregnant,
her daddy sat me down with an egg

and he said, "Son, this represents the
most precious thing in the world."

- Breakfast?
- No, not breakfast.

A new life.

And if you can care for it
and keep it from breaking, well,

then you'll know you're ready
to be a good father.

For how long?

As long as it takes.

- Oh, hey, Guy! Oh!
- Hey! Oh, uh...

Hey, hey, Miss Toni. Um...

- Okay.
- All right, Mr. Edgar! I'll see you.

- Keep an eye on that.
- I will, I promise.

Not the egg again.

- Come on, let me have my fun.
- Oh, Lord. That boy is nervous.

- Did you see the look in his eyes?
- I did.

Oh, hey, baby.

Hey, Mama. You got a minute?
I want to talk to you about something.

I do.
You wanna walk with me to the salon?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

You know how you always used to say,
"To whom much is given...

- "Much is expected."
- Mm-hmm.

Right, um...

And you and Daddy have given me so much.
Which I appreciate, deeply.

I know that, Maxine.

And I want to live up
to those expectations.

I know you do, Maxine.

I see how hard
you've been working.

You're taking
the business seriously

and I wanted
to show you

that I'm taking
you seriously, too.

Uh...

I don't know what to say.

We're the first Black-owned
business in Rockford with one.

They'll probably put us
in the paper.

They better, with how much
the damn thing cost.

Looks so modern, don't it?

It's beautiful, Mama.

...could not watch a fast pitch

The arm goes up
for the next one.

And ball three.

Hey.

I saw the sign.
Looks like you're a big deal now.

She just ambushed me
with that thing!

I was gonna tell her
about the factory.

I had a speech and everything,
and then she just...

I need you to do it.

- Do what?
- Tell her that I need to quit the salon.

Just tell her that your husband
needs me to work at his church or...

No, no, no, wait!

Tell her that I burned off
a piece of your hair

because she will
fire me for that.

Have you lost your mind?

I can't go rifling around
in your business.

People'll start talking.

Keep your mess to yourself.
I got my own life to worry about.

You call that a life?

Hanging on some man's arm while
you sneak around behind his back.

At least I'm honest
with myself.

You don't get
to judge me, Max.

God might, but not you.

Good luck with the salon.

- Well, give us a spin!
- Who, me?

- Yeah!
- Ooh!

You look like Vivien Leigh.

No, more like
Paulette Goddard.

Va-va-voom!

Cut it out, you scamp!

Miss Gill. As of about two hours ago,
I'm now indisposed...

Menstrually.

So I may need to postpone your date
unless I can find a suitable replacement.

Not a problem. I'll go.

No, no, you'll just crack me up.

Carson'll go.

- Me?
- Yeah.

Yeah. It'll be fun.
You're married, and

that's what friends
are for, right?

Very well.
Take Shirley with you, also.

Safety in numbers,

and she'll be sure to keep the
date appropriately non-sexual.

It would be
a profound honor.

Great!

- Uh...
- It's okay.

Go ahead. You can tug it.

You see?
People think it's a toupee.

But, no, it's just always been naturally
this thick ever since I was a baby.

I can tell it's real.
It's beautiful.

Oh, I would love to see a baby
with a head of hair like that.

- Oh.
- Mmm.

So, tell me, Vernon,
what brought you to Beyer Field?

Oh, wait, let me guess,
the short skirts?

The game! I mean,

you ladies play with more heart
than any guy I've ever seen.

And that win?

- Mmm.
- Amazing.

- Mm-hmm.
- But I must say, the skirts don't hurt.

Ooh.

Well, the skirts
do hurt though.

You should see my thigh.
It's like ground chuck.

- I'm sorry, I'm not supposed to talk...
- No.

That's all right.
Thank you for sharing.

Got excited.
Went over the line.

I just wish I hadn't ordered
the burger though!

Oh! The burger!

It's so nice to have a good sense of humor.
I miss that.

You know what?
Shirl, why don't we go hang in the bar

and leave these two
lovebirds alone?

Oh, but shoot!
Carson, rules are rules, right?

And, unfortunately, we got those rules.
You gotta stay, so...

Maybe you guys should just sit
here and try to be... normal.

Never been on a date with three
women before, so it's an experience.

I would like to stay.

Mmm. So, Vernon, what do you do
when you're not watching me play?

Well, I'm sure he does
a lot of things because

the world does not
revolve around you.

I'm so excited to find out
from him, though.

Uh, I'm a veterinarian,
actually.

Hold on.

You look like this
and you're a doctor?

- Yeah. It's true.
- Hubba, hubba, hubba. Lucky me.

Doctor is being used
pretty loosely right now.

More like hamster doctor.

Whoever comes into the clinic,
I'll treat them.

- Whoever?
- So, hamsters...

- And if a person comes in?
- Well, I'm not gonna treat a human.

What do you think
a veterinarian is?

Very different
level of doctor.

- I have a diploma on the wall.
- That's right.

I don't think I've ever met anyone like you,
you know that?

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Excuse me.

You know, I just remembered, I have
been on a date with three women before.

It was myself, my mother,
my Aunt Fanny, and, uh, Mosha Frankell.

Did not go well.
He got very angry, very agitated.

- I'm gonna actually slip by you, okay?
- Oh.

You were the one who said
you wanted to just be friends.

This is your fault. You kissed me.
You did this to me.

I was fine before I met you.

You were not fine
and you know it.

What do you want
from me? What?

Do you want me to say that I'm jealous?
That I have feelings for you? Fine. I do.

- Finally.
- But I have a life, I have a husband.

I can't just burn it down.
I meant what I said, I'm not like you, Greta.

Yeah, I guess you're not.

It gets me every time.

Stop the car with the brake, boy.
And make you proud.

Look, no more!

You can't even order off a menu.
Since when do you joke?

Well, I'm funny,
you know?

If only you bothered to take
a second to talk to me,

you would have realized it.

Do you know
what I do know?

That, for a week, every time I wake up,
you are not in your bed.

I mean, imagine if we
knew what she was saying half the time.

What's going on?

Wait, I'll explain it to you...

Come on, come on.

Oh, Carson, I'm really overwhelmed.
Really overwhelmed.

You do realize I was left alone
unsupervised with Vernon

for easily 11 minutes.

And there was transmission,
and there was energy,

and there was eye contact,
and I was alone.

- There was transmission?
- Yes.

- What does that mean?
- It's ambiguous.

I'm dwelling in the ambiguity
right now and I'm wound up.

- Okay.
- Carson.

Come with me.

When you're
alone with a man like that

and there's sustained
eye contact,

that is initiation. And I really
wish you wouldn't leave me alone.

Fucking traitor.

What the hell were
you thinking, telling her?

I was only trying to help.
Your arm is messed up.

Is that right?
Thank you very much.

Well, now you know my secret.

I know yours.

Um...

I know about the practices.

Hey, so jealous you had
to go behind my back?

- Okay, we're going behind Dove's back. Not yours.
- Wow. Mm-hmm.

It's not like any of us can
talk to you about anything.

He's the only person
you listen to.

Yeah, because Dove actually
cares about me.

Yeah, it really
looks like he does.

You're never gonna make it through
the season pitching like this.

Okay, Carson, leave me alone, okay?
I'm gettin' ahead of it.

Ask Dove to rest you.
Just for a little.

- Clearly, you're hiding and this injury...
- You know what I can see?

All you guys missing every time
I come down for breakfast.

Don't act like
you care now.

We need you.
Just, for us, ask him to rest you.

I'll think about it.

Good.

Is that it?

Yeah, that's it.

- Great.
- Great.

Fuck.

Welcome back, fans.

Let's see if the Peaches can continue
their momentum from their first victory

in this series
against the Racine Belles.

Wait. What're you doing?

Dove told me I was starting.
He says you need to rest.

Don't ever go behind my back.

Let us give thanks to God

for a miraculous week
of love and compassion.

- Why aren't you ushering?
- You'll see.

I would like ask one of my flock
to give testimony.

Miss Toni,
why don't you come on up and testify for us.

Come on.

Thank you, Pastor,
and thanks to God for his grace.

Amen!

Although sometimes I don't feel
like I deserve all of it.

You see, I'm a little stubborn.

But God has helped me.

Didn't want to be weighed down
with no husband, but...

God brought me a fine-looking
man who loves me.

And no one thought that
I could own my own business.

But God did.

Mm-hmm. Wouldn't quit
until I opened my own salon.

Every day, he pushed me
on my path.

He guided me
towards my own journey.

My own purpose.
As I'm sure he has done for all of us. Amen.

- Amen!
- All right! All right.

What's wrong, baby?

Honey. Oh!

I got a job.

What'd you say?

I got a job
at the screw factory.

It was the only way that
I could get on the team.

The only way that
they would let me play.

Mm-hmm?

He's pushing me, Mama.

God is pushing me,
just like you.

I have a gift.

Why would he give me this gift
if it wasn't my path?

- Home, sweet home.
- Thank you, baby.

Poor Max, huh?
No fun bearing bad news.

- Clance, baby.
- Yeah?

This isn't bad news,
I promise.

Hey. You can tell me.

What, that...
That I'm hungry or...

- Clance.
- What?

I already know.

- You do? You know?
- Yeah, yeah, baby. It's a blessing.

I mean, yeah,
it happened sooner than we planned.

- But we have this house and...
- What are you talking about?

The baby.

Isn't that what you've
been hiding from me?

I'm...
I'm not pregnant.

Hold on.

All right, okay. Here.

Camp Grande.

Is this a draft notice?

This says I'm supposed to report
for my physical in two days.

- How long have you had this?
- A week.

A week?

And when the hell
were you planning to tell me?

I don't know,
I hadn't thought it that far through

because you were so happy
after the crab and the party.

- So, I thought I'd just put it in the comic...
- Clance, baby. This is serious!

- They lock guys up for not reporting.
- I know. I know. I just...

I couldn't tell you.

I couldn't get it out.
I just...

'Cause if I told you,
then it would be real.

And then you would go
and I didn't want you to go.

- I don't know what to do. I didn't know what to do.
- It's okay.

What are we gonna do?

- I'm sorry. I know.
- It's all right.

I love you.
What are we gonna do?

It's been a rough afternoon

for Rockford's usually
reliable Spanish Striker.

She's fine.

The Spanish Striker's
control gets away from her again.

Time.

Terri.

Let's go, Peaches.

Hope to see you
back at the ballpark, folks.

Better luck next time
to the Peaches.

What the hell are you doing?

I thought that
you would catch it.

- With my back turned?
- It was for Lupe.

- You humiliated her back there.
- She got into her head.

No, you did.
With that stupid pitch.

- Your forkball isn't even what made you great.
- Oh, really?

My dad took me to one of the
games you played St. Louis.

Your fastball was
like lightning.

I mean, and your curve?
I mean, we talked about that all weekend.

That's great. All anyone
remembered was the bird.

And it wasn't even a dove.
It was just a freaking pigeon.

Sorry, but you got to play.
That's all we're asking of you.

Come on, this isn't even
real baseball, kid.

'Cause you won't let it be.

Do you have any idea what
we've given up to be here?

This is our one shot.

What do you want from me, Shaw?

A coach would be nice.

But if you can't do that,
then stop standing in our way.

Oh, and for future reference,
a dove is a pigeon.

What?

Carson? Phone,
it's your husband! Hurry!

Excuse me.

Carson. Carson, is that you?

Oh, my God, Charlie.
I haven't heard your voice in so long.

Thank God.

I got your number from Meg.
I had to bribe the aide-de-camp for the line,

so we only have a minute.

Hello? Carson, hello?

Charlie. About the letter,
I'm so sorry.

When I wrote it,
I wasn't myself. And I...

- And I just...
- Letter? No, I didn't get one.

Honestly, I don't even know if it'll make
it to me 'cause I've been on the move.

I just got to Dublin.

Dublin? Uh, what're
you doing there?

Uh, well, I just asked for a little
leave before they sent me home.

I even went to Lough Gill.

Get this. I saw a tree,
looks just like Meg when she's mad.

Wait,
so, are you just hanging out?

I mean,
when are you getting home?

Uh, well, I don't have
a date of transport yet, but...

being here has
really got me straight.

And it's made me think about all
the things I want to see, to live.

I feel like I'm awake,
you know what I mean?

Carson?

Yeah. I do.

I just want so
much more for us, Car,

more adventure, more life.

- I don't want to waste a drop of it.
- More adventure.

I want that too.

It's going to be
so much better.

Charlie?

Ch...

Carson?

Hi, I just wanted...

Um, to come in
'cause I found, um,

a rash...

on me.

And if you could
come and look at it,

that would be great.

- Okay.
- Spots or bumps?