A Grunt's Life (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 9 - Too Far to the Other Side - full transcript

(text sizzling)

(no audio)

- That C-wire came tearing out his ass,

but his fucking asshole went with it.

(Marines laughing)

Man, it's like he's trailing

a foot-long, soggy, summer
sausage out his behind.

- Hmm.
- (laughing) Dude, I bet that

got Rachman's dick hard.

- Shit, that got my dick hard.

- I don't wanna hear about



your uncircumcised monstrosity, Blake.

- Don't worry about my hog, Goldie.

- It's not a hog, bro,

it's a fucking anteater with a harelip.

- Hey, excuse us, Jewstein,

not all of us give our
dicks a facelift at birth.

- Yeah.
- And some of us

don't need a fucking
saw tool (lips smacking)

to clean our dicks.
(Marines laughing)

(Marine laughing)
- Oh shit.

- You won't do shit,

Rachman, shut up.

(Abdul spitting)

- Whoa, whoa.



- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Back up, Bear Jew,

calm the fuck down.

- Hey, no fucking killing.

- It's gonna be good.
- Chill out.

- Chill out.

- No, man, calm down, no
one's fucking killing anyone.

Back the fuck up,

chill the fuck out.
(Marine laughing)

- You gonna let the Bear Jew kill him?

- No, man.
- Oh, it's gonna be good.

- No.
- You look pissed?

- No, no, man, Bear
Jew, calm the fuck down.

Somebody get a terp now.

- Come on, Goldie, now, we
don't gotta let him kill him,

but there's clearly some
built-up tension here.

- Come on, Corporal, let 'em bang it out,

be good for the morale.

- Yeah, man, they got some
shit they gotta work out, man,

let 'em throw hands.

- [Marine] I think
Rachman's gonna cry, man.

- Come on, Goldie.

Look, we'll untie Rachman,
we'll let 'em sweat it out,

and then we'll pull 'em apart

before anything happens.
(Goldie laughing)

No one will ever have to know.

- Please, Corporal, we fucking need this.

- [Chris] Let 'em fight, pussies.

- Look, Five, I just heard from Rachman

that Buhtpaki is a fricking
warlord in bed with the Taliban.

I got him on my PB right
now and he's ready to sing,

so you can't wait on this intel, Dera,

you gotta bring this to the BC, how copy?

- The brass will rip my fucking nuts off

if I try to go after their golden goose.

(intercom beeping)
- Five, you're worried about

you're nuts being ripped off,

what about our Marines,

what about the civilians
we're here to help?

They're getting their nuts
ripped off by Buhtpaki

and his Taliban allies.

So where's your priority, Five?

(gun firing)

- Fine, I'll bring it to higher,

but you need to bring that
HVT here A-fucking-SAP,

and he needs to sing
like a God damn canary,

you understand?

And if I get you this hit,

you need to cut the shit
and start playing ball.

You will bring every damn
target your assigned in

without issue or damage,

or I swear to God, you'll
be in an S-shop somewhere

while some boot lieutenant
runs your platoon for you.

How copy?

- All right, hey.
- Shh, shh, shh, shh,

shh, shh, shh.

Guys, LT's right the fuck over there.

All right, if we're gonna do this,

we gotta keep quiet, yeah?

- Rock on.

- All right, well then.

(Marine imitates crowd)
It's time for the main event.

Fighting out of the red corner,

a druglord from the Helmand
Province, Abdul Rachman.

Fuck you.

And fighting out of the blue corner,

an ANP from the Northern Alliance,

the Bear Jew.
- Bear Jew, Bear Jew,

Bear Jew, Bear Jew,

Bear Jew, Bear Jew.
- All right, gentlemen,

neither of you can understand
a fucking word I'm saying,

so I'm not gonna waste your time

trying to get you to follow rules

that we don't give a shit about anyway.

Let's get it on.

(Bear Jew grunting)
- Ooh, oh.

- Fuck you, fuck you.
- Ooh.

(Abdul grunting)
- Oh.

(Abdul panting)

- Ooh.
(Bear Jew grunting)

- Aw, fuck.
(wood clanking)

- Ooh.
- Oh shit, that was good.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Aw, fuck it.

- Yes, yeah, yeah.
- Hey, Bear Jew, fuck him up.

- Oh.
- He's gonna kill him.

- Crazy, yes, yes.
- Ooh.

- Oh shit, yes.
- Oh yeah,

oh yeah.
- Oh shit, yes.

Yes, yes, yes.
- Ooh,

shit's getting good.
- Should we pull him off?

(Bear Jew roaring)

(Bear Jew grunting)

- Shit.
- Hey, they're good, right?

Right?

- They're fucking dead.

(footsteps rustling)

I'm not making sergeant.

(Goldie sighing)

(intercom beeping)
- Solid copy on all, Five.

The platoon's gonna be stoked.

Five, I owe you one.

- Finally fucking got him.

- Oorah. (grunting)
(Vince grunting)

- Get Bishop's squad ready to go.

- [Marine] Hey, hey, here
he comes, here he comes.

(Marine faintly speaking)

- [Marine] Hell no. (laughing)

(Marine faintly speaking)

- [Marine] You're about
to get us all fucked, man.

(Vince and Rich sighing)

- Should've gone to college.

- I should've fucking stayed enlisted.

(upbeat music)

(text whooshing)

(tarp rustling)

Un-fucking-believable, Rich.

Why don't you get your
fucking squad leader

under control, huh?

Fucking Goldie's Hernandez's boy?

Fix him.
- Me, me?

- Yeah.
- Me?

- That's right.
- Okay,

so you're saying fucking leadership

has an impact on this platoon, huh?

- Get the fuck out.

I need 10 minutes.

- Yeah, you fucking
think about that, Vince.

- Get out.
- Fucking think about it,

fucker.
- Get out. (spitting)

(upbeat music)

(gun clanking)

(shirt rustling)

(Vince grunting)
(chest clanking)

(Vince spitting)

(Vince sighing)

Oh. (spitting)

(masturbation squelching
and ass puckering)

- [Bishop] Dude, I don't
give a fuck who he is

or what he do. (laughing)

He's a military male in Afghanistan,

and that's enough for me to fucking waste,

I'll waste each and every last one

of these motherfuckers, bruh, fuck 'em.

Swear to God, (laughing)
if Blake didn't bring

his fucking corn-fed ass out when he did,

I'd have put that motherfucker down.

I put that on moms, bruh,

that's on me, God.

- Hey, didn't I say fucking 10 minutes?

(punch smacking)

What the fuck, Rich?

- You're what the fuck, Murph?

I just heard Bishop bragging to the squad

about fucking trying to kill
a civilian in your last op.

Where the fuck do you
think he got that idea

that that shit's cool, huh?

- I don't fucking know.

- You don't fucking know? (laughing)

You finally did it,

you finally infected the best
fucking NCO this platoon has,

you fucking asshole.

You feel fucking better now,

having some fucking company

on the sick little fucking
planet you live on?

Get off, man, God damn.

(tarp rustling)

(gun clanking)

- And it wasn't planned.

(Bishop and Marine laughing)

Scared little bitch.
- You think it's fucking funny

to kill civilians, huh?
- Fuck you doing?

- Ah, shit.

- Do you? (grunting)
- Fuck.

- You think that's fucking funny?

- Ah, what the fuck you talking about?

- Yeah, fucking Shitghanistan,

trying to fucking do good shit here.

(Vince and Bishop grunting)

(transition whooshing)

- Fuck are you talking about?

(Vince and Bishop grunting)

(Bishop screaming)

You fucking hypocrite.

(Vince grunting)

You fucking do this shit all the time.

(Vince grunting)

(Bishop grunting)

Don't you come at me,
don't you come at me.

(Vince and Bishop grunting)

(Bishop panting)

(Bishop screaming)

Fuck.

Move.

Fuck, shit.

- Move, move.

(upbeat music)

- [Vince] Fuck, he's so fucking pussy.

Fuck.

Catch any of you looking at it,

it's going in your mouth.

(intercom beeping)
- Five, One.

(intercom beeping)
- Go for Six.

(intercom beeping)
- I have some news

about the HVT.

The HVT attacked one of the ANP,

and the ANP killed him, break.

(intercom beeping)
- (sighing) One,

I swear to God. (sighing)

What's the status of the ANP,

did you get a statement
from him for the report?

(intercom beeping)
- That's a negative, Five.

The, uh, HVT's attack was fatal,

so the ANP is dead too.

(intercom beeping)
- Jesus, fuck, One.

If you want a shred of a
chance of making this happen,

you need to get to the
DC God damn yesterday.

(intercom beeping)
- Roger, Five.

- One, make sure the HVT and the ANP

aren't disposed of prematurely.

You and I both know

there's gonna be an investigation, break.

(gun firing)
Have the bodies been secured

and has scene integrity been preserved?

- [Goldie] From now until
the end of the world,

we in it shall be remembered.
- Mm.

Here, here.
- We few, we happy few,

we band of brothers.

- Hooray.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- And he who sheds his blood

with me today shall be my brother.

- Hooray.
- Oh.

- Here, here, here, here.

- Here, here, here. (laughing)
(Marines laughing)

- [Marine] It's over.

- Who's with me?
- Cheers, cheers.

(Vince sighing)

(Vince spitting)

(intercom beeping)
That's affirm, Five,

we are handling the situation

in anticipation of a full investigation.

(intercom beeping)
- (sighing) Good copy, One.

Bag the two of them and
bring them with you, break.

(intercom beeping)
(guns firing)

I'll make sure IG is
standing by upon arrival

to do a handoff in accordance
with chain of custody,

SOP, break.

(Vince sighing)

One, this is the last time
I deal with your fuck-ups.

Six, out.

(upbeat music)

- Pussies.
- Suckers.

- Man, fuck you.

- [Marine] Fuck you.

- Tried to fight Jones on this one,

but it's not, it's not up to me.

- I got you, dude,

I got you.
- Do it, yeah.

- Murphy.

- Dera.

(sighing) So we fucking doing this shit?

- (sighing) The BC only wants to see me,

company commander shit.

(Marine laughing)

- Hmm, all right, well,

at least now you get to be
the fucking hero, right?

- To be a fucking legend.

- Look, all I can do is bring
the information to the brass,

what ultimately happens is up to them.

- Okay, look, man, (spitting)

I know I didn't make
it fucking easy on you

killing all those bitch-ass HVTs and shit,

but you know I'm right, man.

Right, if, if Buhtpaki
keeps running around our AO,

both Marines and Afghans
are gonna get hurt.

It's not good for hearts and minds.

Be as direct with the BC as
I'm being with you right now,

and he'll have no choice but to approve

an op to take out Buhtpaki,

have no choice, man.

- (laughing) Dude, you
might even get some respect

from your Marines.

- (laughing) Dude, Dera,
you even felt that before?

(Marine laughing)
- Guys, guys,

I have a fucking career
to worry about here.

- Oh God, (spitting) that was nasty, man.

Look, that's the fucking
problem, Five, okay?

Let those metal-chasing
pussies at battalion

worry about their fucking careers,

you got a company of fucking
Marines to worry about.

- Fuck it.

- He's gonna pussy out.

- 100%.
- Bet he cries

like a bitch too.

- Hey, Sergeant Bishop,
come on in, have a seat.

- [Bishop] Thanks for seeing me, sir.

- Well, that's what I do.

What can I do for you, Sergeant?

- Ah, what can you do for me?

Think I'm fucking losing it, sir.

My mission out here,

these, these people, this country,

I don't give a fuck about any of 'em.

I say fuck 'em, right?

(Chaps laughing)

The only thing I give a fuck
about in this war is my squad,

ensuring their safety, that's it.

- Right.

- And the only way I know how to do that

is by killing each and every last one

of them Afghan pieces of shit out there.

(laughing) I mean, take a look around,

fuck, what we doing here?

- Yeah.

- Counterinsurgency, third-world country.

- Yeah.

- (laughing) Full of a bunch
of backstabbing locals,

alongside an army and police force

that are slow to have our
backs outside of the wire,

but quit to shoot us in 'em, right?

(Chaps laughing)

(sighing) (laughing) I mean,

they don't even give a
fuck about themselves,

let alone this country or its people,

so why should I, why
should I, right? (sighing)

Oh, and as if that weren't
enough, they're racists.

- Yeah.
- Can you believe that?

- [Chaps] Mm-mm.

- Think I'm beneath them,

these racist pieces of shit.

- Mm, yeah.

- (laughing) So I say fuck 'em,

but I'm the sick one.

Fucking lieutenant
collecting body parts, right?

But I'm the sick one 'cause
I just wanna kill 'em,

and play around with their fucking corpse

like a fucking child?

Just fucking put 'em down.

(Bishop laughing and sighing)

I was, I was, I was, uh,

I was always told not to ever hate

a entire group of people, you know?

- [Chaps] Mm-hmm.

- I was raised better
than that. (laughing)

- [Marine] Sir, here's a list
of phone calls from Buhtpaki,

tying him to all the
Taliban in the region.

- It's pretty clear this guy is bad.

It's only a matter of time until higher

won't let his HVTs count
toward our numbers.

(Marine sighing)

- And if Marines get
hurt because of Buhtpaki.

(fingers tapping)

- Do you know what I did
before I was commissioned

as a chaplain?

- Does anyone, sir?

- (laughing) Well, that's a fair point.

(Bishop laughing)

Towards the end of my last tour,

I was a, a flamethrower operator.

Mm-hmm, (laughing) I'll
tell you the last day

I carried that damn thing,

we took contact from a nest
of VC in a murder hole.

And (laughing) as soon as we flanked 'em,

they disappeared right into the tunnel.

Man, I rained fire into that hole,

like brimstone on Sodom.

And as soon as I stopped spraying, I,

that's when I heard the screams,

the most gruesome,
tortured, desperate screams

I have ever heard in my life.

And then, then they crawled out,

a young mother and her infant baby.

Their clothes and their
hair were all burned off,

and I don't even know how
long they stayed alive,

but before they died, the woman
dropped down on her knees.

Her baby held to her chest,

she, she started praying,

and then she went silent,

and so did her baby.

I don't know whatever it is that she saw,

or, or heard, or felt, or
that touched her, (sighing)

(laughing) whatever it was, it
just cleansed all of the evil

that had been done under her by my hands.

So whatever it was that gave her peace,

I, (sighing) I just knew
that I needed it too.

So do you, so do you.

(Bishop crying)

It's all right, come here, come here.

Yep, yep, yeah.

Listen to me, all the viciousness

that you, you show when you're
out there on the battlefield

makes you the Marine that
all the others look to,

but, son, you, you gotta be good

and compassionate towards your own soul,

you can't just come to
me for that, all right?

- Yes, sir.

- All right, all right.

Tell me, when's the last time

you had a communion, son, huh?

- I don't know.

- All right, all right.

Here we go.

Blood of Christ, flask of salvation, here.

Go ahead.
- Thank you, sir.

(Bishop coughing)

God damn.
- Yeah.

- Chaps, what the fuck is in there, man?

- I'm not really sure,

I, I think it's probably JP8 and whiskey.

- Aw, it tastes so, that tastes so bad.

- I, I found it in a, in a gas can

near the, (laughing) near the genie,

in, in your tent.

It's an acquired taste, here.

- Nah, no, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.

- You all right?

- Yeah, I'm good, thanks.

- You're gonna make it now,

you're gonna make it, all right?

You're gonna outlast the bastards.

(fingers tapping)

(door knocking)

- Good afternoon, gents.

- Be quick, Dera.

- (throat clearing) Sir,
I'd like to authorize

a kill-or-capture mission
on Muhammad Buhtpaki.

Every HVT we brought in has
been in conflict with him

and they were all spoonfed
to us by Buhtpaki.

I, I think he's been playing us.

- That's approved, Lieutenant.

I want you to oversee the planning

and issue the final op order.

Anything goes wrong on this mission,

it's your responsibility,

you understand me, Lieutenant?

- Loud and clear, sir, thank you.

- Don't thank me, it's
not a fucking favor.

- I just did you a huge favor.

You plan the op, I approve it.

You owe me one, Murphy.
- Shit. (laughing)

- Come here.
- Come on, man,

fucking stop.
- Come here,

thanks for doing your job, Six.

(Marines laughing)

(ass slapping)

(Vince grunting)

- He's gonna die on this op.
- 100%.

- Bet he cries like a bitch too.

(upbeat music)

- Zero.
- Zero.

- [Chaps] How you doing, Lieutenant?

- Doing pretty good.

Matter of fact, just got
some pretty good news

for the platoon.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, and how is, uh,
Sergeant Bishop doing?

- Oh, uh, we were just
remediating some MCMAP,

but, uh, we're good.

- Hmm?
- He's a tough

fucking kid, Chaps.

- (laughing) Yeah, but he's not as tough

as you think he is, huh?

- That's why you're here, Chaps.

- (laughing) No, Vincent,
that's why you're here.

For some reason, God put
Sergeant Bishop in your path.

We know, under the eyes of the Lord,

you're both equal,

but out here, we know that
he's subordinate to you,

which means that he's just like
Moses and the burning bush,

(laughing) he's gonna
follow you into the light

or into the darkness,

depending on where you lead him too.

Mm-hmm?

- You almost lost me at burning bush.

(Chaps laughing)

- Yeah,

you are no saint, Vincent,
(lips smacking) (laughing)

but you are a natural-born leader

and you have the power to guide them.

- Come on, Chaps, we're out here fucking,

we're celebrating their
kills and shit, come on now.

- Yeah, no, no, you're, you're right,

you're, (laughing) you're right, Vincent.

We're supposed to
celebrate our kills, right?

- Damn, right.
- That's our job.

- That's right.
- Huh? No guilt in killing

the fucking enemy, huh?

- No.
- No, only pride.

- That's right.
- Yeah, pride.

Yeah, but what about the rest, huh?

When the battle's over,
you're proud of that?

You know what I'm talking about?

The civilians, the animals.

Vincent, the body parts.

What the hell? (laughing)

Hmm?

Don't you understand that?

That shit is gonna fuck you up for life.

- I think I'm gonna be just fine, Chaps.

- Yeah, but they're not
as tough as you, are they?

(laughing) Look at 'em, they're just boys.

Boys, they just wanna finish their tour,

go home, start their
family, live normal lives.

(sniffing) And years from now,

you want them to be like us,

you want 'em to wake up
in the middle of the night

with the flop sweats,

riddled with the guilt for
the shit that they did here,

you want that?

- They'll be all right, Chaps.

- Oh, God damn it.
(punch smacking)

You're an officer now, act like one.

Stop obsessing over
your thrill of killing.

There's no you, don't you understand?

Out here, there is no you, Vince,

there's only the platoon,
the men, (sniffing)

your men.

(Buhtpaki sighing)

(phone clicking)

(phone beeping)

(phone ringing)

(phone vibrating)

(phone ringing)

- (phone beeping)

(Buhtpaki speaking in foreign language)

(phone beeping)

(phone ringing)

(phone clicking)

(Buhtpaki sighing)
- Yo, this shit's for real,

dog, how you think this one's gonna go.

- [Marine] I don't know,

this Buhtpaki dude has a militia.

- [Marine] Hey, hey, here he
comes, here he comes, shh.

(Marine faintly speaking)

- [Marine] Damn. (faintly speaking)

(Marines faintly speaking)

- Hey, look at me,

look at me.

I fucked up.

Look at me.

I fucked up, good to go?

That's fucking on me.

Listen, I let you go too
far to the other side, okay?

And I fucking, I know better than that.

You know how many fucking friends I got

that are basically dead?

Look at me, look at me.

They're basically fucking dead,

and they're still alive, you know why?

Because they regret the
fucking shit they did in Iraq.

You don't wanna fucking spend

the rest of your life hating yourself

for the fucking shit you did
here, do you understand that?

This war is, look at me,

this war is way too
fucking stupid for that.

You don't wanna spend
the rest of your life

waking up in the middle of the night

punching your fucking wife,

throwing your kids down
the fucking stairs.

Four friends threw their
kids down the stairs, man.

Come on, look at me,

we're, we're still killers, okay?

Don't you fucking forget that,

we're still fucking killers.

We need to know who the
fuck we're trying to kill.

This fucking counterinsurgency shit,

it's got us all fucked up, look at me.

This COIN shit is fucked, okay?

It's fucked.

We're still killers, we
are still fucking warriors,

but we need to know who the
fuck we're trying to kill.

Mistakes, mistake, we
can live with mistakes,

but you can't live with yourself

when you're intentionally
fucking up the wrong people.

It's okay now, it's
fucking, it's all good,

we're warriors, we're killers,

we, we fucking kill everything, right?

Fucking 10 years from now

when you're not in the Marine Corps,

'cause you will not be a Marine forever,

you will get out of this
fucking Corps one day,

and you're gonna look back at this shit

and you will fucking hate your guts,

you will hate you.

Don't live that fucking life,

if you want half a fucking chance

at being a decent father
and a decent husband,

don't fucking live this life, okay?

That's on me for letting you
go too far to the other side,

'cause I'm fucked up.

I'll fix my shit one day, but
don't fucking do it, okay?

We got a lot of fucking people
to kill tomorrow, a lot,

I want you to understand
who we're trying to kill.

We can live with mistakes,

we cannot live with bad intentions,

you understand me?

- Mm.
- We're gonna kill

all these fucking Taliban tomorrow,

we're gonna kill this fucking
Buhtpaki piece of shit,

and we're gonna make it fucking fun,

but we're gonna know who the
fuck we're trying to kill.

- Roger that.
- And that's how

you're gonna have a chance

at leading a decent fucking life.

Come here.

Fucking warriors to the day we die.

Let's go.

Can you say it, you're good?

- I'm good, I'm good.

- Let's go.
- Let's go.

- We got fucking people to kill.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
focus up, 1st, focus up.

- [Bishop] Hey, hey, 1st, 1st,

you know we gotta note take and gear up.

- [Vince] You guys ready to
fucking slay bodies tomorrow?

- You better be.
- Fucking good,

that's good trash, good to go?

- [Bishop] Shit, y'all
be fucking pussies, man.

- [Vince] Yeah, listen to
fucking Sergeant Bishop.

(Bishop grunting)

Orientation, north,

same way it's been the whole
time since we've been here.

Good to go?

Situation, enemy.

(upbeat music)

(text sizzling)

- Present, Arms.
(marker squeaking)