A Grunt's Life (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - We'll Get You Some Blood, My King - full transcript

While 2nd Lieutenant Murphy deals with the brass at the Battalion District Center and learns that his platoon will get an Afghan National Police squad attached to them, his platoon searches for snatch, computers, sat phones, and s...

(logo whooshing)

- Morning, gentlemen, my
name is Lieutenant Fuller.

I'll be your officer in charge today.

Take note of that keyword, officer.

- Yo, Fuller looks corny, man.

- Most of you will be attached

to the 1st Platoon Fox Company.

So you're gonna need to get acquainted

with this rifle quick.

The M16 is the preferred
platform of the US of A.

It fires a .566 ball round
with a muzzle velocity



of 3.110 feet per second.

Hot damn.

- Yo, this is gross, man.

- Sir.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Hell yes, I knew this
would fire your savages up.

Now, you wanna keep a few things in mind,

you wanna square up with
your target of engagement,

that way your SAPI plate is

straight ahead and ready to protect you.

You want to have your
dominant foot slightly back,

and have a nice little
bounce to your frame.

- I bet you 50 bucks and a BJ

one of the ANP smokes him
before this pumps over.



- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Done.

- That way, in the event
that you take the bullet

to the chest, you'll be sturdy
enough to remain upright.

(gun fires)

- Oh, shit.

(men yelling)
(guns firing)

(men yelling)

Fucking blasted him in the face, bro.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Son of a bitch.

- [Man] This guy was a
huge fucking tool, bro.

(man gasping)

- Lost another officer.

- Un-fucking-believable.

- [Soldier] Now, I ain't
got nothing til payday.

(rock music)

(A Grunt's Life theme plays)

(helicopter engine roaring)

- Let's go, hurry up, all in.

Set your shit down, stage
it, do all that shit,

put it all up against the wall. Hurry up.

Huh? Hey you three, come here, come here.

Hurry up. All right, gents, check it out.

Look, we ain't got that
much time, all right?

Lieutenant Murphy gonna be
off doing that fancy-ass

battalion briefing shit, then
it's back to that gang shit

on the PB, got it?

But what we got going on now?

- Getting laid, Sergeant.

(Sergeant scoffs)

- Yeah right, proof or
it didn't happen. Next?

- Tactical acquisition of
mission essential gear, Sergeant.

- Oh, I like that.

What we getting?

- Snacks.

- Booze, man. Don't
fuck this up, man. Next?

- We're gonna go to the computers

and hit up our family, Sergeant.

- Emo bitch shit, got it.

Tell mommas I'm gonna beat
it up when I get back though.

Boom. Just like that, with
that big old black dick.

Tell her.

- Tell your mom.

(group laughing)

- (indistinct) He didn't.

- Once again, Mr. Butpaki, we are grateful

for your assistance in Musa Qala.

Now regarding Malik Mansour
our Marines found weapons

in the home and some
people ended up deceased.

- This is no problem for me.

I hand you the names
of the enemies of peace

and you do what you must.

If killing them is what makes
it go well, then it is well.

And when we are well Musa Qala is well.

- Exactly, my new friend.

Now I understand this is very dangerous

for you to work with us.

But every bad guy we
take off the battlefield

makes Afghanistan safer and
enables the Afghan forces

to take over the region.

And if we can do that
Afghanistan will do very well.

- I am glad we all care for Musa Qala.

- Roger that, be safe out there.

- Be safe too, my friends

- Teddy, this guy's gonna
be a very valuable asset

for 7th Marines and
especially General Burford.

He made it very clear that making friends

with the local leaders
is a key to success.

- Totally agree, sir, as a matter of fact

we already have our platoons
building healthy relationships

at our patrol bases across the AO.

- That's what I like to hear, Teddy.

- Fuck you looking at?

- (Marine) What I tell you
about look at the grunts?

- (Marine) I'm pretty
sure he was gonna kill me.

- Hurry up, bro.

Get in there.

- Shut the fuck up.

Come on, bro, we get caught
we're gonna get our asses beat.

(indistinct)
(soft music)

- Hurry up, bro.

- Why are we whispering?

- Get in there.

- You're still whispering.

- Whoa.
(upbeat music)

- Fucking rookies, man.

- I spy some horny savages at your 12.

- Johnson.

- Oh my fucking God.

- My six.

- Oh my God.

- What the fuck is wrong with you?

- Oh, watch me smash.

- Fuck you, that pussy's mine.

- Watch me smash.

- Yeah right, bitch.

You know they're gunning for me.

- Mm-hm.

- What the fuck is this POGatry?

- Is he flexing right now?

Do you even lift, bro?

- Shhh.

(string orchestra music)

- Jesus Christ, you keep
joking about that shit

you're gonna get shot too bro.

- Probably.

(angelic music)

- I'm gonna marry her.

Attention on deck!

- At ease, gentlemen.

- Good afternoon, gentlemen.

We have friends from
the OGAs here with us.

Their respective agencies have a stake

in our AO and they'll be
here working out of DC.

I'm the only one to talk to them.

- Good afternoon gents.

So as we know, the battalion's
recent green on blue incident

has tensions up pretty high in the AO.

But we can't forget that the ETTs

the Afghan National Army,
the Afghan National Police

are the main effort here in Afghanistan.

If we can't prop them up
and set them up for success,

we failed here.

So with that being said Fox Company

is going to get reinforced
with an ANP unit.

If we could get them equipped
and mobilized in time.

Let me tell you what winning looks like.

- Watch this shit, corporal.

- The fuck did he just say?

(indistinct)

- Johnson, you're not fucking done yet.

Getting my fucking balls chewed.

- What's up ladies?

Want a smoke?

- You have a light?

- Of course.

- Oh shit, he's going for big red?

- Motherfucker.

(clears throat)

- Oh, my bad.

- So uh, what you got going on later?

- Excuse me.

- Fuck it.

- Move along fatty.

- Excuse me, gentlemen.

Hey, motherfucker, there's a line.

No, there's a sign in.

- Of course there's a fucking sign-in.

- Fucking bullshit.

- Fucking poke motherfuckers.

- What about that room, what's in there?

- Wanker, no colonies in here.

- What the fuck?

Washington crossed the
Delaware for this bullshit?

- Come on, man.

Let's go try the sat phones.

- Obviously the highly
sensitive cultural differences

need to be taken into
account anytime we have NATO

and Afghan forces sharing living space.

Be sure to instruct your
Marines accordingly.

- Question, sir.

What exactly is the
recruitment and vetting process

like for the ANA and AMP?

- Well, the vetting process is as thorough

as can be giving the resources
available to the ANP.

In addition, NATO forces have
added the biometrics equipment

into the recruiting process,

which means we have a population database

to conduct background checks.

- Wow, database. Question on that, sir.

How many Afghans do you
guys have in the database?

- I don't have that data, Lieutenant.

But if it's important to you,
we could talk after the brief.

- Good to go, sir.

- Fellas, the Afghan police
will take just about anybody

that's willing to go to basic
training and put on a uniform.

So act accordingly.

- So we need to be highly
sensitive to the Afghan culture

as we begin to embed with them.

- Nice knowing you, bro.

- You too.

(upbeat music)

- Bitches.

- God, I'm fucking wet, Stevens.

- Maintain your SA Marine.

- Aye Gunny!

- Hey devil dog, what
the fuck are you doing

by these CONEX boxes.

- We're scaring out rats, Gunny.

- What?

- Guys shut the fuck up,
shut the fuck up, shh.

- We're scaring out rats,

they come out here and
I step on 'em, Gunny.

That is literally the dumbest
fucking thing I've ever heard.

- Good to go, Gunny.

- You know a way that will scare rats?

This is how you scare rats.

(loud crashing sound)

There, if that don't scare your rats,

I don't know what the fuck will.

- Thank you, Gunny.

- Hey, devil dog, don't thank
me, thank you recruiter.

- Oh my God, dude.

- So how you doing baby?

- You know, baby, I'm holding on, yeah.

These Afghan local motherfuckers, though.

And they looking at me like a--

- [Phone] Like what baby?

- You remember that place
we stopped in in Arkansas?

- [Phone] That racist town?

- White-ass motherfuckers,
Caucasian as hell.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they
look, look at me like that.

- That's bullshit you have to
go and make 'em pay for that.

- God damn it, fucking full.

- Yo, they came at us all crazy, bro.

- Yo, what the hell?

- So I picked up this
machine gun, like Arnold bro,

start mowing down motherfuckers.

- Hey, hey, you talking Halo 3, bitch?

Huh? You rear echelon
fucking pussy, get fucked.

- What do you mean, you fucked
my dad? You fucking whore!

I'm gonna murder you and your family!

- No you won't, bitch.

- Fucking POG bitch, let
someone else use the phone.

- [Phone] Damn babe,
what's going on in there.

- Shut the up fuck up, all of you!

Shut your fucking mouths
before I put my BBC in it!

- [Phone] Oh, shit. My man
laying it down in Afghanistan.

My man gonna fuck them bitches
up, you hear that shit?

- Shut that down.

- I'm gonna have something
hot for you when you get back.

- Shoot, you gonna send me something?

- [Phone] You know I got a good camera.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, put the camera in yours ass.

- [Phone] Oh, shit. We getting freaky now.

- Yeah. Put it in your ass.

- Damn, y'all some savages too.

- Shut up and fuck me bitch.

- This here's Muhammad Al-Bupaki

- Bukkake?

He's a tribal leader
from the Sangin region

that we've been working with recently.

He has a militia if you will-

- Militia?

- Very loyal to him.

- To be clear, gents.

He is not on the Afghan
government payroll.

He is the tribal leader and an ally.

He'll have direct contact with battalion,

shared details on local HVT's.

And to be clear the RCT
commander is very excited

about this partnership.

- Sir, doesn't that sound like a warlord?

- Listen Lieutenant, the United
States has a strict policy

about not working with warlords.

- Yeah, that's exactly what it-

- So Butpaki is not a fucking warlord.

Do you understand me, Lieutenant?

Do you understand me, Lieutenant?

Do you understand me?
Do you understand me?

(gagging sounds)

Do I make myself clear, Lieutenant?

- Crystal clear, sir.

- Dera, put a fucking leash on that guy.

- Oh.

- Sorry, haven't had time
to take a shower yet.

- Same just convoyed this morning.

Pull lanyard firmly to deploy pleasure.

Wouldn't be a war without blood.

(roaring)

- How long do you think
we can prop this guy up?

- I don't know, but--

- I hope you got your SGLI shit in order.

Don't wanna be bearing your
blues or you're sulking.

Seriously, dude, you're gonna get smoked.

- I fucking told you.

- You motherfucker.

- Piece of shit.

(both moaning)

(upbeat music)

- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

- Think I'm gonna need
a quick little break.

- Good to go.

(both moaning)

- That's it. That's it.

Didn't mean to dump the
clutch in you. That's my bad.

That's a lie, I meant it.

See you in two weeks.

- (indistinct) Here, try this one.

- (grunts) Ah, Marine Corps.

(woman grunts)

- All right, we accomplish
the mission or what, gents?

- Sure did.

- Yes, sir.

- And we got this, Sergeant.

- That's what's up.

- Hey look, put that in
something that's not breakable.

All right? And preserve it.

- Gotcha, Sergeant.

- We didn't get to call home because

stupid fucking POGs
hogged all the computers

and phones.

- Fucking bitch-ass motherfuckers, man.

- But we did steal some
POGs cover who was yelling

at his wife on a sat phone.

- All right. Hey look, I wanna
let y'all know I saw that.

I'm gonna let you know,
you did the right thing.

Good shit.

Anyone get laid? No one got pussy?

Y'all some--

- I did.

Oh, you did? Huh? Let's see.

- Okay.

Brace yourself, fellas.

I got nut and blood on.

- Whoa.

- Dude, she just started that shit

- (indistinct) You gotta be so proud.

- Oh, I wasn't actually gonna touch it.

I was just looking it.

- Oh wow.

- That's cool, look at that.

It's still going, it's still dripping.

- Nice.

- You really was big
and bag being bull, huh?

- Gang, gang.

- Oh yeah.

- Nasty motherfucker.

- Gang shit, right there all right.

You nasty bitch.

- Yo, you did the helicopter, didn't you?

- That's just tight, bro. Fucking crazy.

- Hey, you good, sir?

- There's only pussy juice you on my dick,

no blood.

- Mm.

- No blood at all.

- We'll get you some blood, my king.

- Don't worry, you'll get it.

(soft upbeat music)

First, we're oscar mike.

Let's go.