A Different World (1987–1993): Season 6, Episode 21 - Homey, Don't Ya Know Me? - full transcript
Lena's old boyfriend and some pals from her old neighbourhood pay her a visit but they find they don't fit in her new life.
Follow me, partner.
Lead on, brother.
We are talking
"the blue Ridge mountains:
"Cozy cabins
for couples in love."
Are you with a brother?
Oh, Dwayne, you don't have
to take me to the mountains
and run in a cabin.
We can come out
of the closet here, baby.
Stop it, Ron.
Whitley and I
we need a break.
You can either take your
sorry comedy act on the road
or you and Freddie
can come in on this rental.
I got a club to run.
Besides, Freddie's feeling
a little bit under the weather
so I'll be at home playing nurse
or should I say
"Dr. Feel good"?
You better stick with "nurse."
Spencer won't be able
to keep his sweaty palms
off of you.
"Couples fall in love
for the second time."
Whitley, would you
get off that freeway?
I've only known him
for four months
and he is fine.
Mm-hmm.
No, but we're not that serious.
This could change that
for you, Kimberly.
Dwayne and I could be
an influence on you.
Why would I want influence
from a married couple?
We want to have fun.
Hey, I heard that.
We have fun.
We have lots of fun.
Ron said no.
So did my former friend
Kimberly Reese.
I love you, Dwayne
but this broke thing
is getting on my nerves.
I want to go on that trip.
Before you all
cry yourself a river
maybe I can recommend a couple.
Who, Mr. Gaines?
It doesn't matter,
as long as we can go.
In that case,
me and my little kumquat
will meet you in the mountains.
Your kumquat?
Yeah. Velma will be ecstatic.
Besides, that open air will
do her nasal condition kindly.
Oh... a kumquat
with a nasal condition.
£ ooh £
£ I know my parents loved me £
£ stand behind me
come what may £
£ come what may £
£ I realize that I'm ready £
£ I'm ready £
£ 'cause I finally
heard them say £
£ I heard them say £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ oh, now,
here's our chance to make it £
£ here's our chance £
£ if we focus on our goal £
£ focus on our goal £
£ if you dish it,
we can take it £
£ we can take it £
£ just remember
that you've been told £
£ that it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ oh, it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from,
yeah. £
I want the pit to run
as if I was here.
Now, Lena James, Charmaine...
Closing procedures.
First of all...
Turn off the grill,
put all dairy in the fridge
sweep, mop
kiss me good night
turn off the lights,
and sayonara.
I forgot one thing.
Uh, Lena James
surprise me tomorrow
and be on time for a change.
Keep puckering up.
I got something else
you can kiss.
Oh, come on, you two.
Charmin... Charmaine...
Employee of the month.
Five months.
I hereby appoint you
pit supervisor for the weekend.
What?
If anything goes wrong,
call Kimberly Reese.
I already asked her
to check in on you.
If I didn't know better
I'd think you didn't trust us.
Don't talk silly.
If you knew any better
you would know
I don't trust you.
It won't be long now,
traveling partners.
Velma will be here in a minute.
We're counting the seconds,
ain't that right, baby?
59, 58, 57, 56...
I talked to my friend, wooster
that lent me and velma the cabin
40 years ago.
We can have his cabin free.
Free, as in no money?
That's what wooster said.
All I got to do is call him.
Use our calling card.
Hi, Vernon.
There she is.
Hello, cutie-pie couple.
Say "cheese."
Both:
Cheese.
Have you met our son Darnell?
Don't believe we have.
He's staying with us
till he gets back on his feet.
He's had a string of bad luck
but he's very talented.
Do Sidney poitier, baby.
Mama, you got
to get off of my back.
But I'm so hungry,
I can eat a chili burger
a chili dog,
and some chili fries
and don't forget the apple pie.
Okay, baby, that's good.
That's enough.
Now, don't get nervous.
Your daddy's over there.
Go ahead and ask him.
But, mama...
Go ahead, mama's baby.
Yo, dad...
I suppose you're
saying good-bye.
I'll see you in a few days.
Since I've been home,
I can't get a word with you.
The pit keeps me busy
and I got that new nightclub.
I better call Ron right now
and make sure that he knows
what he's doing.
The pit is one thing
you don't have to worry about.
I was thinking
that maybe I could...
I could help you out
running the pit.
Why?
Darnell, let me talk
to your daddy.
Come here, Vernon.
What is wrong with you?
I don't know,
but you're about to tell me.
Darnell is dying to help you.
Why can't you give him a chance?
Because the boy don't know
how to do anything right.
Vernon, if you're
coldhearted enough
to hurt our one and only son
then go right on ahead.
Tell our baby you won't
let him run the pit.
Baby, I won't let you
run the pit.
No, the truth is...
No, no, no, no...
The truth is that you
don't think I can swing it.
I can't say that I blame you
but this is a different Darnell.
If you give me a chance
I'm going to show you
just that, I promise.
Well, all right.
I'm going to turn
my apron over to you.
Charmin...
Charmaine.
Yes, Mr. Gaines?
Change of plan.
My son here, uh, uh, Darnell
is going to be pit supervisor.
You're vice pit supervisor.
Nice to meet you.
The pleasure's all yours.
Oh, velma
it's just like I remembered it.
Vernon...
40 years ago
you carried me
over the threshold.
Yes, I did.
Well?
But 40 years later,
I have a hernia.
Oh, Vernon!
I wonder what's
keeping those two.
I guess
they're still stretching.
Maybe we shouldn't have
taken the Volkswagen.
They sat in that backseat
for five hours.
Dwayne, with his long legs,
and poor whitley...
With all the bags
we threw in the back
she had to keep her head
turned toward the window.
At least she saw the scenery.
Oh, here they come now.
Hey!
What do you think?
There's bedrooms
over here, whitley.
Yoo-hoo, baby, over here.
Dwayne, I cannot
stand this any longer.
Okay, baby. Okay.
Gently. Easy.
Ah...
Thank you.
Now you do me, baby, please.
There you go, tin man.
Thank you, Dorothy.
On the ride home,
tie me to the roof.
I could use the legroom.
So this is your little
cabin in the sky.
Uh-huh.
It's got that old feel to it.
That... real old feel.
What you mean, dear,
is "old-fashioned."
No, what she means is "old."
Oh...
You both are
two little Richard pryors.
I'm going down the road
and get some grub
and make a phone call.
Vernon...
Yeah?
Darnell is watching the pit.
Now, please don't tell me
you're worried.
I won't tell you I'm worried.
Oh, where's
the little girl's room?
Oh, straight out the front door
and right down to the left.
Are you saying
I must venture outside
to use the facilities?
Well, no.
You can stay inside and hold it.
Uh, I hear that my cheffing
is not to your liking.
Well, your cheffing
is to be complimented, but...
Yo, these burgers got to go.
What he really means is
they really don't
quite taste
like... food.
Yeah, they're bouncing, man.
I'll prepare your burgers again.
Yo, prepare to go
to that cash register
and give us back our money.
We ain't laughing,
but these burgers is funny.
So you can come here
with that funny-looking hat
looking like hadji
from jonny quest...
Ah...
Then turn around
and call this funny?
So what you trying to say, man?
You want me to get you a mirror?
On second thought
it's enough that
you're already ugly.
Why waste eight years
of bad luck?
It's seven, stupid.
You get eight years
for wearing that hat.
Come on, man.
You better get up
on out of here.
I need a batch of Mr. Gaines'
famous okra soup.
Well, knee-high,
it's your lucky day
'cause it just got
new and improved.
"Knee-high"?
He's bossing everybody around
acting like he's all that.
You mean acting like you.
Whose side are you on?
Neither, because I don't like
either one of y'all.
You see, I'm not cheap
with my customers
and always,
service with a smile.
Brother, put your teeth
back in your head.
I'll get it.
No, no, no, I'll get it, okay?
I'm the man in charge.
You just get back there
on that grill.
Hello, pit supervisor speaking,
service with a smile.
Oh, uh, hey, dad.
How you doing?
No, no, everything's fine.
Yes, sir,
everything's shipshape.
Charmaine, what's that burning?
The kitchen.
Why don't you tell us
about the olden days
when y'all were newlyweds
like me and my Dwayne.
Forget about that.
I want to hear
about how smooth
big daddy gaines was
when he proposed to you.
She knows how smooth I was.
Well, I had just finished
with choir rehearsal
when Vernon showed up
to walk me home.
I didn't want to come right out
and ask her to marry me
but I knew she had a sweet tooth
so I brought her
some hershey chocolate.
Yummy.
I had a feeling marriage
was on his mind.
My hands got so sweaty
that by the time
I unwrapped the chocolate
it had melted.
I ended up licking
the chocolate off the wrapper.
And I ended up licking the
chocolate off her fingers.
And by the time
I got to the thumb
she said "yes."
That's the way to do it, daddy.
All right, now, Vernon
let's not corrupt
these young folks.
That's okay, Mrs. Gaines.
We're taking notes.
Were you there
when Darnell was born?
Good heavens, no.
Why would any father miss that?
If they was Darnell's daddy
they would.
When my son was born
a fastball smacked Willie mays
in the tenderloins.
I believe it was a omen.
Vernon, I have already told you
about putting down Darnell.
Oh, velma, I'm just joking
with the peoples.
Richard pryor, remember?
Has it ever occurred to you
that a father is not supposed
to judge his son?
He's supposed to guide him.
That's what I've been doing.
What you been
is too hard on the boy.
I'm tired of him being a boy.
If it was up to his mama,
he'd still be in diapers.
Oh, it's on now, honey.
Sure is.
Was that hershey's chocolate
with or without nuts?
So his shortcomings
are all of my fault?
It was both of us,
but it's on him now.
If he messes up this time,
that's it.
I'm not going to let him think
he can run around
sit on our couch,
and stare at the walls.
Whitley, this evil,
old, nasty man
is sympathetic
toward everybody else
but his own flesh and blood.
Vernon, you're fed up
with Darnell?
Well, I am fed up with you.
Whitley, you are
my roommate tonight.
Whitley:
In the bed?
Yes, in the bed,
and don't stay up late.
And good night, Dwayne!
Velma! Velma!
Don't think you're the only one
who can slam a door!
If you do,
you got another thought coming!
I don't want to sleep
with velma.
Don't start that, please.
Darnell, never cook pig feet
without cleaning them
in vinegar.
What? What are you saying?
Soak them in vinegar
and then boil them in water.
Okay, okay, okay.
All right, that's it.
That's it, that's it.
Dwayne...
Quiet, baby.
I'm killing Mr. Gaines.
Oh, this weekend
is not what we planned.
We can't even sleep together.
We can't do the nasty...
Hey, hey, hey...
I got an idea.
How about I take you outside,
strip you down
and we do the nasty
in the outhouse?
I'm not going out there.
There are bears out there.
Girl, the way I'll
have you hollering
a bear won't come
within 100 yards.
Come on.
Tabasco sauce
and black pepper...
Shut up, old man!
Velma!
Vernon, did you scream?
No. Did you?
No.
Hey, what happened?
A big, bad skunk got us.
It smells like
a big, bad super skunk
sprayed you to me.
I need water.
I need soap.
I must cleanse my body.
Vernon:
That won't help you.
You got to scrub yourself
in tomato juice.
That's right. Can we borrow
the car and run to the a&P?
Honey, there is no a&P,
only carver's general store
and he's closed nights
and weekends.
"Let's go out into the outhouse
and do the nasty."
I think whitley and I
should sleep together
being that we stink,
and you guys
should sleep together
'cause you smell like people.
Uh-uh. I'd rather sleep
with the skunk.
The feeling is mutual.
Well, good.
Whitley, come on.
I got some perfume you can use.
That girl Cher sells it.
Dwayne, crack that window.
Better yet, open that door.
Take it off the hinges.
Mr. and Mrs. Gaines
you've been married
for a very long time.
You love each other.
There's no need for
all this hostility.
Yeah.
This is killing him.
All night, he kept
calling your name...
"velma, velma..."
That's strange.
He usually talks
about pig's feet.
That's 'cause I don't want
to hear you snore... ol' yeller.
How about we just say
one, nice, loving thing
to the other person?
Okay. Vernon...
I love every strand of hair
on your head.
Perhaps we should have begun
with you, Mr. Gaines.
Mm-hmm. Well, velma
I love every strand of hair
on your chin.
20, 30, 40, 50, 55...
This is the third time
I've counted this money
and we're still
ten dollars short.
We? You the only one been
working that cash register.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not pointing the finger
at anybody, all right?
But I'm going
to close my eyes...
And by the time I open them,
I want the money right here.
Come on, come on, I know.
All you...
Put the money right...
The money...
Just reach in your pocket.
I won't tell nobody.
Hi. Hi, I'm Kim Reese.
Oh, so you
the famous Kim Reese, huh?
My father talks about you
like you one of his.
Hey, look, I'm Darnell gaines.
I'm Mr. Gaines' son.
So you're Darnell.
Yeah.
Oh, I heard a lot about you too.
Oh, wait... anything good?
So you're Darnell.
Don't sweat it.
My father couldn't
brag much about me
graduating from college
or getting into med school.
Wow, you've been really busy.
Yeah, well, Lena
and Charmaine, they messy.
They got mustard and flour on...
We have a problem.
See, this here is what happened
when I gave my woman your
new and improved okra soup.
Man, she threw it at you?
She threw up on me, Holmes.
I'll send you the clean-up bill.
Ron, calm down.
Calm down?
Look at my sweaties!
Wait a second, Kim Reese.
I can handle my customers.
Looky here, knee-high
if you think I'll pay for that,
you're crazy.
Knee-high about to get
a lot crazier.
Whoa, whoa!
Mr. Gaines
will be here tomorrow.
Everything will be
straightened out.
We don't need my father here.
I'm here right now.
I'm in charge.
Lena, hit them dishes.
Hit them dishes?
That's right.
I'd like to know
who you think you're talking to.
Obviously, somebody
who used to work here
'cause you fired.
You ain't nobody
to be firing me.
Lena and I are a team.
You can't split us up.
That's a good point...
'Cause you fired too.
Is this your picture?
Don't you do that.
Look at this.
Don't you play with me.
Look, look, look...
Oop. Bye.
I'm going to kill you, Darnell!
Kick him!
What are you doing to that girl?
Dad!
You're home early.
Hi, Mr. Gaines.
Mama, get her off me.
Get off my baby's back now.
Explain yourself.
He tried to fire me.
My best employee?!
And me!
Fire my worst employee?!
Oh, my... what else
have you done?
I know what you're
thinking, dad.
Mm-mm-mm.
I thought you said you
had everything shipshape.
Maybe I exaggerated
a little bit.
If I had a nickel
for every time you exaggerate...
this place would be called
"tavern on the green."
You asked me for a chance
and you let yourself down.
Just like you said I would.
You always said I was a loser.
I never called you
a loser, never.
That's a nickel for me.
When I came back home,
your eyes said "loser."
Oh, shoot.
When I told you I lost my job
the way you walked away
said "loser."
You put training wheels
on my bike
'cause you were ashamed
to take me
where other fathers were
teaching their kids to ride.
What?
That's when I knew
I'd never be the son
you wanted me to be.
Darnell, I put training wheels
on your bike
because I didn't know
how to ride a bike.
Wait a second.
You don't know how
to ride a bike?
Ah, maybe I was wrong.
I can't blame nobody but myself.
I mean, it's on me.
I keep trying to be
the boy you want me to be
but maybe I was wrong.
I can't swing it.
So why don't I just
save you the trouble
and throw my own self
out your house?
'Cause I'm not freeloading
anymore.
I'm going to get out there
and I'm going
to get it together.
All right, son.
I really want to believe that.
But see,
it's not what you believe
'cause I'm not doing it
for you this time.
See, I'm doing it for me...
Darnell gaines.
All right.
Good luck.
If there's anything I can do...
If there's anything you need...
No. If there's
anything you need.
All right.
All right, Mr. Gaines.
Now, velma, after 40 years
I know what you're going to say.
Uh-huh. Darnell,
get back in here
and clean up this kitchen, boy!
Dwayne:
Yes... ooh!
Yes, thank you, darling.
I like this tomato stuff.
Mmm.
I think it's an aphrodisiac,
don't you, Dwayne?
You just shut up
and scrub me, stinky.
Lead on, brother.
We are talking
"the blue Ridge mountains:
"Cozy cabins
for couples in love."
Are you with a brother?
Oh, Dwayne, you don't have
to take me to the mountains
and run in a cabin.
We can come out
of the closet here, baby.
Stop it, Ron.
Whitley and I
we need a break.
You can either take your
sorry comedy act on the road
or you and Freddie
can come in on this rental.
I got a club to run.
Besides, Freddie's feeling
a little bit under the weather
so I'll be at home playing nurse
or should I say
"Dr. Feel good"?
You better stick with "nurse."
Spencer won't be able
to keep his sweaty palms
off of you.
"Couples fall in love
for the second time."
Whitley, would you
get off that freeway?
I've only known him
for four months
and he is fine.
Mm-hmm.
No, but we're not that serious.
This could change that
for you, Kimberly.
Dwayne and I could be
an influence on you.
Why would I want influence
from a married couple?
We want to have fun.
Hey, I heard that.
We have fun.
We have lots of fun.
Ron said no.
So did my former friend
Kimberly Reese.
I love you, Dwayne
but this broke thing
is getting on my nerves.
I want to go on that trip.
Before you all
cry yourself a river
maybe I can recommend a couple.
Who, Mr. Gaines?
It doesn't matter,
as long as we can go.
In that case,
me and my little kumquat
will meet you in the mountains.
Your kumquat?
Yeah. Velma will be ecstatic.
Besides, that open air will
do her nasal condition kindly.
Oh... a kumquat
with a nasal condition.
£ ooh £
£ I know my parents loved me £
£ stand behind me
come what may £
£ come what may £
£ I realize that I'm ready £
£ I'm ready £
£ 'cause I finally
heard them say £
£ I heard them say £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ oh, now,
here's our chance to make it £
£ here's our chance £
£ if we focus on our goal £
£ focus on our goal £
£ if you dish it,
we can take it £
£ we can take it £
£ just remember
that you've been told £
£ that it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ oh, it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from £
£ it's a different world £
£ from where you come from,
yeah. £
I want the pit to run
as if I was here.
Now, Lena James, Charmaine...
Closing procedures.
First of all...
Turn off the grill,
put all dairy in the fridge
sweep, mop
kiss me good night
turn off the lights,
and sayonara.
I forgot one thing.
Uh, Lena James
surprise me tomorrow
and be on time for a change.
Keep puckering up.
I got something else
you can kiss.
Oh, come on, you two.
Charmin... Charmaine...
Employee of the month.
Five months.
I hereby appoint you
pit supervisor for the weekend.
What?
If anything goes wrong,
call Kimberly Reese.
I already asked her
to check in on you.
If I didn't know better
I'd think you didn't trust us.
Don't talk silly.
If you knew any better
you would know
I don't trust you.
It won't be long now,
traveling partners.
Velma will be here in a minute.
We're counting the seconds,
ain't that right, baby?
59, 58, 57, 56...
I talked to my friend, wooster
that lent me and velma the cabin
40 years ago.
We can have his cabin free.
Free, as in no money?
That's what wooster said.
All I got to do is call him.
Use our calling card.
Hi, Vernon.
There she is.
Hello, cutie-pie couple.
Say "cheese."
Both:
Cheese.
Have you met our son Darnell?
Don't believe we have.
He's staying with us
till he gets back on his feet.
He's had a string of bad luck
but he's very talented.
Do Sidney poitier, baby.
Mama, you got
to get off of my back.
But I'm so hungry,
I can eat a chili burger
a chili dog,
and some chili fries
and don't forget the apple pie.
Okay, baby, that's good.
That's enough.
Now, don't get nervous.
Your daddy's over there.
Go ahead and ask him.
But, mama...
Go ahead, mama's baby.
Yo, dad...
I suppose you're
saying good-bye.
I'll see you in a few days.
Since I've been home,
I can't get a word with you.
The pit keeps me busy
and I got that new nightclub.
I better call Ron right now
and make sure that he knows
what he's doing.
The pit is one thing
you don't have to worry about.
I was thinking
that maybe I could...
I could help you out
running the pit.
Why?
Darnell, let me talk
to your daddy.
Come here, Vernon.
What is wrong with you?
I don't know,
but you're about to tell me.
Darnell is dying to help you.
Why can't you give him a chance?
Because the boy don't know
how to do anything right.
Vernon, if you're
coldhearted enough
to hurt our one and only son
then go right on ahead.
Tell our baby you won't
let him run the pit.
Baby, I won't let you
run the pit.
No, the truth is...
No, no, no, no...
The truth is that you
don't think I can swing it.
I can't say that I blame you
but this is a different Darnell.
If you give me a chance
I'm going to show you
just that, I promise.
Well, all right.
I'm going to turn
my apron over to you.
Charmin...
Charmaine.
Yes, Mr. Gaines?
Change of plan.
My son here, uh, uh, Darnell
is going to be pit supervisor.
You're vice pit supervisor.
Nice to meet you.
The pleasure's all yours.
Oh, velma
it's just like I remembered it.
Vernon...
40 years ago
you carried me
over the threshold.
Yes, I did.
Well?
But 40 years later,
I have a hernia.
Oh, Vernon!
I wonder what's
keeping those two.
I guess
they're still stretching.
Maybe we shouldn't have
taken the Volkswagen.
They sat in that backseat
for five hours.
Dwayne, with his long legs,
and poor whitley...
With all the bags
we threw in the back
she had to keep her head
turned toward the window.
At least she saw the scenery.
Oh, here they come now.
Hey!
What do you think?
There's bedrooms
over here, whitley.
Yoo-hoo, baby, over here.
Dwayne, I cannot
stand this any longer.
Okay, baby. Okay.
Gently. Easy.
Ah...
Thank you.
Now you do me, baby, please.
There you go, tin man.
Thank you, Dorothy.
On the ride home,
tie me to the roof.
I could use the legroom.
So this is your little
cabin in the sky.
Uh-huh.
It's got that old feel to it.
That... real old feel.
What you mean, dear,
is "old-fashioned."
No, what she means is "old."
Oh...
You both are
two little Richard pryors.
I'm going down the road
and get some grub
and make a phone call.
Vernon...
Yeah?
Darnell is watching the pit.
Now, please don't tell me
you're worried.
I won't tell you I'm worried.
Oh, where's
the little girl's room?
Oh, straight out the front door
and right down to the left.
Are you saying
I must venture outside
to use the facilities?
Well, no.
You can stay inside and hold it.
Uh, I hear that my cheffing
is not to your liking.
Well, your cheffing
is to be complimented, but...
Yo, these burgers got to go.
What he really means is
they really don't
quite taste
like... food.
Yeah, they're bouncing, man.
I'll prepare your burgers again.
Yo, prepare to go
to that cash register
and give us back our money.
We ain't laughing,
but these burgers is funny.
So you can come here
with that funny-looking hat
looking like hadji
from jonny quest...
Ah...
Then turn around
and call this funny?
So what you trying to say, man?
You want me to get you a mirror?
On second thought
it's enough that
you're already ugly.
Why waste eight years
of bad luck?
It's seven, stupid.
You get eight years
for wearing that hat.
Come on, man.
You better get up
on out of here.
I need a batch of Mr. Gaines'
famous okra soup.
Well, knee-high,
it's your lucky day
'cause it just got
new and improved.
"Knee-high"?
He's bossing everybody around
acting like he's all that.
You mean acting like you.
Whose side are you on?
Neither, because I don't like
either one of y'all.
You see, I'm not cheap
with my customers
and always,
service with a smile.
Brother, put your teeth
back in your head.
I'll get it.
No, no, no, I'll get it, okay?
I'm the man in charge.
You just get back there
on that grill.
Hello, pit supervisor speaking,
service with a smile.
Oh, uh, hey, dad.
How you doing?
No, no, everything's fine.
Yes, sir,
everything's shipshape.
Charmaine, what's that burning?
The kitchen.
Why don't you tell us
about the olden days
when y'all were newlyweds
like me and my Dwayne.
Forget about that.
I want to hear
about how smooth
big daddy gaines was
when he proposed to you.
She knows how smooth I was.
Well, I had just finished
with choir rehearsal
when Vernon showed up
to walk me home.
I didn't want to come right out
and ask her to marry me
but I knew she had a sweet tooth
so I brought her
some hershey chocolate.
Yummy.
I had a feeling marriage
was on his mind.
My hands got so sweaty
that by the time
I unwrapped the chocolate
it had melted.
I ended up licking
the chocolate off the wrapper.
And I ended up licking the
chocolate off her fingers.
And by the time
I got to the thumb
she said "yes."
That's the way to do it, daddy.
All right, now, Vernon
let's not corrupt
these young folks.
That's okay, Mrs. Gaines.
We're taking notes.
Were you there
when Darnell was born?
Good heavens, no.
Why would any father miss that?
If they was Darnell's daddy
they would.
When my son was born
a fastball smacked Willie mays
in the tenderloins.
I believe it was a omen.
Vernon, I have already told you
about putting down Darnell.
Oh, velma, I'm just joking
with the peoples.
Richard pryor, remember?
Has it ever occurred to you
that a father is not supposed
to judge his son?
He's supposed to guide him.
That's what I've been doing.
What you been
is too hard on the boy.
I'm tired of him being a boy.
If it was up to his mama,
he'd still be in diapers.
Oh, it's on now, honey.
Sure is.
Was that hershey's chocolate
with or without nuts?
So his shortcomings
are all of my fault?
It was both of us,
but it's on him now.
If he messes up this time,
that's it.
I'm not going to let him think
he can run around
sit on our couch,
and stare at the walls.
Whitley, this evil,
old, nasty man
is sympathetic
toward everybody else
but his own flesh and blood.
Vernon, you're fed up
with Darnell?
Well, I am fed up with you.
Whitley, you are
my roommate tonight.
Whitley:
In the bed?
Yes, in the bed,
and don't stay up late.
And good night, Dwayne!
Velma! Velma!
Don't think you're the only one
who can slam a door!
If you do,
you got another thought coming!
I don't want to sleep
with velma.
Don't start that, please.
Darnell, never cook pig feet
without cleaning them
in vinegar.
What? What are you saying?
Soak them in vinegar
and then boil them in water.
Okay, okay, okay.
All right, that's it.
That's it, that's it.
Dwayne...
Quiet, baby.
I'm killing Mr. Gaines.
Oh, this weekend
is not what we planned.
We can't even sleep together.
We can't do the nasty...
Hey, hey, hey...
I got an idea.
How about I take you outside,
strip you down
and we do the nasty
in the outhouse?
I'm not going out there.
There are bears out there.
Girl, the way I'll
have you hollering
a bear won't come
within 100 yards.
Come on.
Tabasco sauce
and black pepper...
Shut up, old man!
Velma!
Vernon, did you scream?
No. Did you?
No.
Hey, what happened?
A big, bad skunk got us.
It smells like
a big, bad super skunk
sprayed you to me.
I need water.
I need soap.
I must cleanse my body.
Vernon:
That won't help you.
You got to scrub yourself
in tomato juice.
That's right. Can we borrow
the car and run to the a&P?
Honey, there is no a&P,
only carver's general store
and he's closed nights
and weekends.
"Let's go out into the outhouse
and do the nasty."
I think whitley and I
should sleep together
being that we stink,
and you guys
should sleep together
'cause you smell like people.
Uh-uh. I'd rather sleep
with the skunk.
The feeling is mutual.
Well, good.
Whitley, come on.
I got some perfume you can use.
That girl Cher sells it.
Dwayne, crack that window.
Better yet, open that door.
Take it off the hinges.
Mr. and Mrs. Gaines
you've been married
for a very long time.
You love each other.
There's no need for
all this hostility.
Yeah.
This is killing him.
All night, he kept
calling your name...
"velma, velma..."
That's strange.
He usually talks
about pig's feet.
That's 'cause I don't want
to hear you snore... ol' yeller.
How about we just say
one, nice, loving thing
to the other person?
Okay. Vernon...
I love every strand of hair
on your head.
Perhaps we should have begun
with you, Mr. Gaines.
Mm-hmm. Well, velma
I love every strand of hair
on your chin.
20, 30, 40, 50, 55...
This is the third time
I've counted this money
and we're still
ten dollars short.
We? You the only one been
working that cash register.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not pointing the finger
at anybody, all right?
But I'm going
to close my eyes...
And by the time I open them,
I want the money right here.
Come on, come on, I know.
All you...
Put the money right...
The money...
Just reach in your pocket.
I won't tell nobody.
Hi. Hi, I'm Kim Reese.
Oh, so you
the famous Kim Reese, huh?
My father talks about you
like you one of his.
Hey, look, I'm Darnell gaines.
I'm Mr. Gaines' son.
So you're Darnell.
Yeah.
Oh, I heard a lot about you too.
Oh, wait... anything good?
So you're Darnell.
Don't sweat it.
My father couldn't
brag much about me
graduating from college
or getting into med school.
Wow, you've been really busy.
Yeah, well, Lena
and Charmaine, they messy.
They got mustard and flour on...
We have a problem.
See, this here is what happened
when I gave my woman your
new and improved okra soup.
Man, she threw it at you?
She threw up on me, Holmes.
I'll send you the clean-up bill.
Ron, calm down.
Calm down?
Look at my sweaties!
Wait a second, Kim Reese.
I can handle my customers.
Looky here, knee-high
if you think I'll pay for that,
you're crazy.
Knee-high about to get
a lot crazier.
Whoa, whoa!
Mr. Gaines
will be here tomorrow.
Everything will be
straightened out.
We don't need my father here.
I'm here right now.
I'm in charge.
Lena, hit them dishes.
Hit them dishes?
That's right.
I'd like to know
who you think you're talking to.
Obviously, somebody
who used to work here
'cause you fired.
You ain't nobody
to be firing me.
Lena and I are a team.
You can't split us up.
That's a good point...
'Cause you fired too.
Is this your picture?
Don't you do that.
Look at this.
Don't you play with me.
Look, look, look...
Oop. Bye.
I'm going to kill you, Darnell!
Kick him!
What are you doing to that girl?
Dad!
You're home early.
Hi, Mr. Gaines.
Mama, get her off me.
Get off my baby's back now.
Explain yourself.
He tried to fire me.
My best employee?!
And me!
Fire my worst employee?!
Oh, my... what else
have you done?
I know what you're
thinking, dad.
Mm-mm-mm.
I thought you said you
had everything shipshape.
Maybe I exaggerated
a little bit.
If I had a nickel
for every time you exaggerate...
this place would be called
"tavern on the green."
You asked me for a chance
and you let yourself down.
Just like you said I would.
You always said I was a loser.
I never called you
a loser, never.
That's a nickel for me.
When I came back home,
your eyes said "loser."
Oh, shoot.
When I told you I lost my job
the way you walked away
said "loser."
You put training wheels
on my bike
'cause you were ashamed
to take me
where other fathers were
teaching their kids to ride.
What?
That's when I knew
I'd never be the son
you wanted me to be.
Darnell, I put training wheels
on your bike
because I didn't know
how to ride a bike.
Wait a second.
You don't know how
to ride a bike?
Ah, maybe I was wrong.
I can't blame nobody but myself.
I mean, it's on me.
I keep trying to be
the boy you want me to be
but maybe I was wrong.
I can't swing it.
So why don't I just
save you the trouble
and throw my own self
out your house?
'Cause I'm not freeloading
anymore.
I'm going to get out there
and I'm going
to get it together.
All right, son.
I really want to believe that.
But see,
it's not what you believe
'cause I'm not doing it
for you this time.
See, I'm doing it for me...
Darnell gaines.
All right.
Good luck.
If there's anything I can do...
If there's anything you need...
No. If there's
anything you need.
All right.
All right, Mr. Gaines.
Now, velma, after 40 years
I know what you're going to say.
Uh-huh. Darnell,
get back in here
and clean up this kitchen, boy!
Dwayne:
Yes... ooh!
Yes, thank you, darling.
I like this tomato stuff.
Mmm.
I think it's an aphrodisiac,
don't you, Dwayne?
You just shut up
and scrub me, stinky.