A Different World (1987–1993): Season 5, Episode 7 - Baby, I'm a Star - full transcript

Kim's new-found arrogance loses her a spot in Ron's band; Col. Taylor frets over his age.

He's a famous athlete.

He has no business
grabbing women's booties.

I think them booties

kind of danced over
and found his hand.

So you think woman
like being manhandled?

No, but if Denzel Washington
walked into this club

you'd be showing more wares
than an appliance salesman.

I respect him as an actor.

I bet you slept
with his picture.

I was fully clothed at the time.

I'm doing a survey.

Are you here for the band
or the ambience?

Dwayne is Ron's best friend

or else we'd be
looking at ricochet.

It's all about naked Denzel
holding a gun, right?

All right, that's it.

Y'all fired.



Ask all your fans.

How would you like
to go to the moon Alice?


Encore! Whoo! Whoo!

Do it up, man!

I have never
been so humiliated...

Fired in front of my audience.

Ron, there were
four people there

and one of them
was in margaritaville.

People just can't
appreciate good music

played by real musicians.

You need to get you
a girl up there.

No. I have a clean act.

No strippers in my show.

I'm not talking
about a stripper.

I'm talking about
a sister in a tight dress

pow, poom... wailing.
You know, singing.

Then Larry might give
x-pression the gig back.

No vocalist in my band.

I am a pure musician.

I want to take sound and funk
to new dimensions.

You will.

It's called
the unemployment line.

A good morning workout
really gets my blood going.

Oh, god!

Oh, lord.

Hello, linoleum.


why are you on my floor?

I ain't serving
no Japanese food.

I got a cramp, vern.

Mr. Gaines, we went
for a five-mile run

and all of a sudden,
Brad came to a stop.

It's called catching
a second wind, jaleesa.

I'll be right back
out there in a moment.

I'll be right back...
With a car.

They told me life begins at 40

but it took me seven years
to find out that they lied.

Brad, a few cramps

and a frisky wife
don't make you an old man.

I got one foot in the Nike
and the other foot in the grave.

Oh, nonsense.

I got menu's older than you.

Pick your spirits up.

Jaleesa is planning you
a surprise party this week.

Oh, my goodness.

I did it again.

I did it again.

Miles would never
have done this.

God rest his soul.

Ron, I'm so sorry you got fired.

My dream was to start
at the bottom

and work my way to the top.

I just got fired
from the bottom.

I know I'm going
to lose my band.

Not if you get
yourself a singer...

Pow, poom, pow...

That's a wonderful idea, pookie.

Yeah. Okay?

And there's your songbird.


She got p.M.S.


Whitley, premed syndrome.

She's always too busy,
got something to do.

She'll never do it.

You just let me handle this.




I know you have nothing
to sing about

but you owe it to the world
to share those golden pipes.

What are you talking about?

Ron's band is in the toilet.

He needs a singer.

Now before you say "no,"
consider his future.

You're his friend.

He needs you.

Where's the audition?

Must you be so selfish?

Hello. I said yes.

I did the best I could.



Get off.

You still fired.

Wait a minute.

I had a big finish planned.

Finished is what you are.

You couldn't hold a note
if you glued a handle on it.

I sang in church choir

and many folks
got the holy ghost.

Good-bye, Gina.

You might as well
leave with her.

I have one girl left.

She'd have to be
Whitney Houston, Ron.


Get up there and get ready.

This girl won on star search
and turned it down

to pursue her studies.

Ron, listening to you
lie like this

brings back fond memories
of my adolescence.


You wasted my time.

Does this mean I'm still fired?

No. You should have had
her here two hours ago.

Money, money, money.

Look at the way
he's looking at her.

More romances
start in the workplace

than anywhere else.

Yeah, all those c.E.O.'S
harassing all those women.

Would you get off it already?


Go, girl!

Planning to make a little
music with miss Reese?

Sing it, baby.
Sing it.

I like it.

I like it.

Oh, my goodness!

Hell's demon!

Don't shoot!

Take the cash!


Vern, it's me.

It's me, Brad.

Help me get this helmet off.

You almost give me
a heart attack.

Brace yourself, Brad.

Don't take off my head.

Come on, vern.

Pull the doggone thing.



Oh, my goodness.

Why are you dressed
like Eddie Murphy?

Carry on.

I was just test-driving
my new Honda here.

Yeah. You want to make
jaleesa a widow.

47 years old.

Vern, tell me the truth.

Don't you think
I'm too old for her?

Brad, do you remember
hunchback of notre dame?

Well now, he was ugly

but Gina lollobrigida
loved him anyway.

She was a good woman.

But them bells would
have drove me crazy.

Linda, raise the admission
from five to ten dollars.


Larry beaujolais?

I have not seen you since...


How have you been?

Oh, I'm doing fine.

Oh, baby.

You two know each other, huh?

Hey, your father's pretty smart.

I happen to be her husband,
Bradford Taylor.

You don't say.

I do say.

Well, congratulations.

I wish both of you the best.

Linda, take a dollar
of admission

for my friends here.



I like that song.

My song, babe.

Don't sit down.

Let's hit it.

Come on.

Oh, I think i'm...

I think i'm in a time warp.

What is that?

Ladies and gentlemen

may I have
your attention, please?

Welcome to the...

Thursday night throwdown
at the blue dog!

ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Here at the blue dog

we've always been committed
to two things:

Helping develop
young black talent

and serving you drinks.

For you people sitting,
there's a five drink minimum.

Now for our featured act.

Starting tonight

you can see this young lady
three times a week.

Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim!

They're screaming for me?

She brought you
to your feet last time.

Welcome back...

miss Kimberly Reese!

What is going on here?

What about x-pression?



Hey, man, great set.

She's on a high now.

It's time to put
the ball in play.

I'm there.

Move out of the way.

I got Ron Johnson here.

I can't believe you.

You got a better rap than that.

Kim, you were slamming.

She was not the only one
up there tonight.

I was a little
a nervous at first

but I kind of got
the hang of it.

Too bad I didn't have a rope.

Would it be too much trouble

for you to sing
at our party tomorrow?

She's throwing me
a surprise party.

I should rest my voice.

Yo, Kim...

The music critic is here.

Kim, my sister, beautiful.

You moved me.

Truly, truly uplifting.

I got all these ideas
for a profeminist counter-rap...

An answer
to n.W.A.'S last album...

Where latifah leaves off,
Reese rocks.

I like that.

I knew you'd love it.

We can't keep this man waiting.

Excuse me your highness!

May I have a word
with you, please?

Excuse me. Pardon me.

What's the matter?

You seem upset.

Don't play with me,
"all about Eve".

I hope you enjoy
all the attention you're getting

because this is
the first and last time

you showboat like you
did up there tonight.

You should know the difference

between showboating
and show-stopping.

Kimberly, I'm so proud of you.

I want a picture with the diva.

Come on, Ron, snap.

Come on, honey.

Get the hell out of here!

He's just jealous
'cause you a star.

Oh, it's okay, Ron.

I know success is new to you.

What's new is playing
backup to a ham.

Kim, I don't eat pork,
and I don't play with it.

Ron, the people want singing.

No one wants to watch you
do drum solos on stage.

They can't even see me
past your big head.

Kim, x-pression is my band.

You wouldn't even be here
if it wasn't for me.

Be nice, Ron.

I'll mention you

in the interview. Okay?

You are so photogenic, Kim.

Which one of me
do you like the best?

The one that buses tables.

You wouldn't ask
Anita baker to bus tables.

I don't need a baker.

I need a waitress.

Kimberly Reese,
you'll meet the same people

on the way down
that you met on the way up.

Right now, you have a meeting
with the leftovers.

Hey, baby, Ron's out back
burying his drumsticks.

His dog's laughing at him.

The male ego is so fragile.

Now what have you been filling
this girl's head with?

Nothing. She's just enjoying
her fame a little, Dwayne.

She's been a wallflower
all her life.

Yeah, well,
your wallflower done turned

into the little shop of horrors.

I am not asking my kimmie
to curb her brilliance

to accommodate
your friend's insecurities.

Give me that ring back.

Give me the ring.

Give it to me.

I told you don't play like that!

Leave me alone!


I got the new song.

Hated it.

Maybe she is getting a tad
carried away.

Kimmie, I liked that song.

You're not the one
who has to sing it.

Now, now, now, Kimberly,
sometimes we, the artist

do not have the right
perspective on things.

You're comparing yourself to me?

What have you done
other than leech off

other people's talent?

You better get off
your high horse.

Get off my coattails.

Ron, go get the dogs back.

We got cats in here.

Kim, as leader of x-pression

it is my pleasure to inform you

that your services
are no longer needed.

Why don't you hop on your mop
and float on out of here?

I don't think so, Ronald.

You fire me, you fire yourself.

Now, I have some ideas

on how my act should go.

Stay with me.

I arrive 45 minutes late.

The people are going crazy.

They're scalping tickets
in the parking lot.

A pinspot, a pink gel...
I'm there.

I do a little patter...

The poor childhood bit...

You weren't poor.

Darling, it sells.

I do a couple of more numbers.

Then the houselights go up half

so I can do
my health care shtick

and oh, yes...

I need to be alone onstage,
so I can do my encore.

Think about it.

She called me a leech.

It's okay, baby.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no.

Thanks for helping me
drown my sorrows, vern.

Another Jagermeister.

Yeah, I'll take another wine.

Tell him about it.

He's starting
to get on my nerves.

I know it.

That should be enough.

That's number five.

It's okay.
You driving.

We walked.

Velma told me I'd find you here.

It wasn't my choice.

Brad Taylor,
I want to talk to you.

I'm sorry
I walked out on the party.

When I saw all those candles
on that cake

it looked like a forest fire.


Now I want you
to listen to me, colonel.

I married you

because you are strong
and brilliant

and you are the very first man
who's allowed me to be myself.

I married you, honey

because I want
to have your child.

You're just saying that
because you pity me.

What are we going
to do about him?

Who are you talking to?

Our little colonel

or colonelette.

Are you serious? Really?


We're going to have
a little colonel

or a little colonelette?

Oh, baby.

I'm back.

Hey, vern,
we're going to have a baby.

This calls for champagne.

Yeah, come on.

No, I can't.

I'm pregnant.

She can't.
She's pregnant.

Come on, little mama,
let's go home.

I'm going to go home
and tell velma.

Is this a secret?


She's having my baby.

We're going to have
a baby, y'all.

We going to have a baby.

We going to have a baby.

Ron, where the hell is Kim, man?

She's 45 minutes late.

No, she's right on schedule.

Kim, is that a fur?

Not now, dear.

We'll do lunch.

Hello. How are you?

It's good to see you.

You're back again?

Oh, of course I will.

Will you look at Kim
looking like Millie Jackson?

Ladies and gentlemen

the blue dog is proud to present
the lady, the legend...

The legend?

Miss Kimberly Reese.

Me, Kim Reese.

I know you're all thinking
who is Kim Reese?

Who is this girl
behind the glamour?

Get her off.

The gal behind the greasepaint.

The poor kid from Columbus

with a dream.

I'll just be a moment.

Is this your idea of a joke?

Why do you need music
to back up your autobiography?

Ron, this is not the time.

This is the time.

You wanted to be late,
didn't like our music

and you wanted
to be on stage alone.

You got it, baby.

But Ron,
I need you guys to play...

This is not what I had in mind.

This isn't what I had
in mind either, Kim.

I thought we were friends

and this was an opportunity
for both us

not your opportunity to turn
into Natalie Cole-blooded.

Excuse me.

If you want to carry on
like this, go ahead.

You're just going to do it
without me.

Oh, god, I went there.

And on the concorde.

Look, you got two choices.

Either start playing,
or buy a whole lot of drinks.


Let's hit it.

Okay, great,
we can start with...

No, no, no, no.

We can start
with the finger cymbals

and an instrumental.

Put that wig back on.