A Different World (1987–1993): Season 4, Episode 7 - Good Help Is Hard to Fire - full transcript

Dwayne's mother walks in on a squabble between Kinu and the apartment's new maid - Whitley.

Dwayne, Dwayne,
wherefore art thou, Dwayne?

Deny thy kinu,
and kick her butt back to Tokyo.

But soft, what light
through yonder window breaks?

'Tis Dwayne asleep on the couch.

Is he dreaming of me,
his sweet Juliet?

Methinks you are dreaming.

It's rude to eavesdrop, jaleesa.

But it's okay to snoop
on Dwayne and kinu?

I'm not snooping.

Besides,
kinu isn't even in there.

She's probably at the pit
getting ready for the wake.



Whitley, it is not a wake.

It is an anniversary party
for Dwayne and kinu.

Same difference.

I can't believe you're going.

Neither can kinu.

But Dwayne invited me

and I'd hate to disappoint him.

Just stay away from their window

and do something useful,
like clean ours.

I don't do windows.

Or dishes, or sinks, or floors,
or the toilet, or the laundry!

£ I know my parents loved me £

£ stand behind me
come what may £

£ I know now that I'm ready £



£ for I finally heard them say £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ yes, it is now, yeah £

£ here's our chance to make it £

£ and if we focus on our goal £

£ you can dish it,
we can take it £

£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ ooh £

£ than where you come from. £

help.

Help, help.

Hey, I got you.

I got it.

Hello?

Chipmunk?

Mom?

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

You don't sound fine.

It sounds like you need some
of your mama's prune cobbler.

Mmm, prune cobbler
just the way my baby likes it

to keep him sweet and regular.

Mom, that's nasty.

It's not nasty.
I was just whipping up
a good old tasty batch

when something told me

"put down those prunes
and pick up that phone."
So that's what I did.

No mom. Everything's
fine here. Really.

How's dad?

It's not about your father,
it's about Abraham Lincoln.

You remember him?
Yeah.

He said, "you can fool some
of the people some of the time

but you can
never fool your mama."

It's that girlfriend, isn't it?

Kinu's fine.

Sure, she is fine.

She's a lucky thing.

Does she realize
how lucky she is?

You'll really like
kinu, trust me.

That's what you said
about miss thing, remember?

Who?

Miss thing, miss girl,
miss uppity.

The one who sashayed
into your room

and thought
I was the housekeeper.

I didn't mind
being called the housekeeper.

It was just the way she said it.

Mom, her name was
whitley, and she
was sorry.

She certainly was.

I've always been worried
about your taste in woman.

Ever since you were five.

You remember all those
girls had fits over you?

You would put on
Jackson five sunglasses

and run around
and drive them crazy.

You would say, "sit down, girls.

"I think I love you.

Stand up, girls,
show me what you can do."

£ shake it, baby, shake it... £

mom, I got to go.

I got something to do.

Like get your head
out my underwear

and your butt out my drum.

I love you.

I got to go.

Keep singing.

I'm hanging up.

You know,
I'm trying to think
of a friendly way

to tell you how you look.

I don't know what's wrong.

I didn't sleep last night.

Again?

I keep having
the same nightmare.

I'm in this messy room

looking for something
that's in the closet

but I can't find the key
because the room is such a mess

and the room represents my life.

No, the room
represents your room.

And if you want to see
what's in your closet...

Take a look.

You know, I tell you, Dwayne.

Ever since you kissed whitley

you haven't been
the anal retentive brother

you normally are.

Don't go there, Ron.

For the last two weeks

you've been living
like a ditch pig.

Exhibit "a," one funky sock.

I'm talking about my life,
not my feet.

If the shoe fits

do us a favor and put it on.

Listen, you phi beta kappa
big shot.

You got a full scholarship,
a secure job future.

A debonair,
dignified best friend...

Not to mention
a beautiful girlfriend.

Hup, flag on the play!

What are you talking about?

Get out of here.

Kinu is absolutely wonderful.

And this marks

the anniversary

of six absolutely wonderful
months together.

Yeah, just the three of us.

Dwayne, honey?

Hey.

I thought the purpose
of having an anniversary party

this afternoon was to celebrate.

Yeah.

So who invited whitley Gilbert?

Sweetie, she's just a friend

and we've invited
everybody else.

Sweetheart, there's an old
Japanese expression...

"if you're having a picnic,
don't invite the ants."

Baby, why can't you
leave whitley alone?

Why can't she leave you alone?

Ooh!

And how I wish we could have
some privacies.

Don't mind me.

I just live here
and pay half the rent.

Ron, wouldn't you be happier
if you went out

and found yourself a girlfriend?

Kinu!

Oh, I have several

and occasionally they go home.

Ron!

Well, you could definitely
use a maid.

Kinu!

Man, I'd be
having nightmares, too.

I don't think he likes me.

Oh, ignore him.

This certainly wasn't a good way

to start our anniversary.

No, it wasn't.

Well, I know how to make things

all better.

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You're not touching this stuff

till I see some I.D.

I haven't been carded since...

Last night.

Well, you two
can have some yoo-hoo.

Well, here's mine.

You don't need a card.

Happy anniversary, Dwayne.

Whoa, great dress.

It's the wrong color,
but you look great.

You look... tired.

Well, I haven't gotten
any sleep lately.

Spare me the tawdry details.

That's not
what I'm talking about.

What are you talking about?

I haven't been able to sleep...

Sweetie, it's time
for a picture.

Excuse us.

I'm sure you'll find someone
to talk to.

Freddie:
Come on.

It's picture-taking
time. Okay.

Baby, that was cold.

She has no business being here.

Dwayne, you're not smiling.

Take the picture, Freddie.

Uh, wait, wait.

The composition is all wrong.

Kinu, move three inches
to the left.

Dwayne, two to the right.

Okay.

Uh, no, no.

There's still too much
negative space.

Freddie, shouldn't you
remove the lens cap?

Thank you, Matthew.

All right.

Uh, no, no.

The tonal values
are too consistent.

I need a splash of color.

Whitley, get in the picture.

Love to.

One, two...

Ow!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Was that your foot?

Take the picture, Freddie.

One, two...

Freddie, you're not getting
the shine from kinu's nose

are you?

I wouldn't want the glow
to spoil the memory.

Take the picture, Freddie.

One, two, three.

Now I'd like a picture

with just the two of us.

Whitley, can I
talk to you, please?

What?

Give it up.

What are you doing out here?

Avoiding the same person
you are, and freezing.

Ron, this is
the winter of my discontent.

I've lost my credit cards.

I've lost Dwayne.

In short, my life is a mess.

Your life sounds like
my living room.

Wait.

I think I'm on to something.

What?

How would you
like to earn extra money

and clean up Dwayne's life
at the same time?

Help.

Help me.

Help.

Help.

Help.

Help.

Help.

I'm trying to.

It's the same dream.

Messy room.

Closet.

The answer's inside.

Whitley!

Dwayne.

Kinu:
Dwayne?

Closet!

Dwayne.

Kinu.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just standing here,
sweating.

Why?

It's a man thing.

Let me out of here!

Dwayne, what's going on?

Kinu, let me explain.

What do you mean?

Whitley!

Hi, nuki.

My name is kinu.

And my name is mud.

Dwayne, I'd like an explanation.

So would I.

Happy anniversary!

Who is she supposed to be?

I'm your new housekeeper.

Fifi was your idea?

No, she was yours.

I do recall you saying
something like

we need a maid.

Ron, can I speak to you
for a second?

Outside, please.

Outside.

Ron, you hired whitley
to be our maid?

Just trying to help.

By sticking me
between kinu and whitley?

Just send me to Kuwait.

Somebody's got to help you.

I need peace, I need sleep.

The last thing I need...

Chipmunk?

Guess who's here?

Oh, hey, sweetie.

What are you doing here?

You sounded like you needed

some t.L.C.,
tender loving cobbler.

Oh, mom.

Not that prune stuff.

I'm going to give you
enough this time

to put hair on that moustache.

Give me a hug

and help me inside.

How was your flight?

Mom, mom.
Chipmunk.

All this woman next to me

wanted to hear
about was my Dwayne.

You look so tired.

So, it was chipmunk this
and chipmunk...

You look skinny.

So, honey

I told her
about his phi beta kappa.

She showed me her niece.

Ain't that a ugly child?

But an excellent student
and bake-off champion.

And she loves to play the tuba,

but that won't help that face.

I told her Dwayne
had a girlfriend...
Thank you mom.

But I said Ron was free.

No, you didn't?

Mom, where you going?

I'm going inside.

Right now?

Ron's got a girl in there?

Not me.

You think you're pretty clever.

Pardonnez-moi?

No, I think we
better talk in English.

Please wipe those
less-than-petite feet on the mat

before entering the apartment.

Or, better yet

on your way out.

If anyone's
on her way out, it's you.

Kinu, I have a surprise.

Well, it had better not
be another maid.

Hello, kinu.

I'm Dwayne's mother.

Oh, my goodness,
Mrs. Wayne.

I'm so sorry...

Mrs. Wayne,
let me get your coat.

Miss thing, and what
are you doing here?

That's a very good question.

I'm the new maid.

Dwayne, start explaining
things now, honey.

This was not my idea.

I'd love to stay,
but jaleesa's real lonely.

So, mom, I mean,
what a surprise.

Yes, a surprise for me, too.

If I'd known you were...

Excuse the mess.

Things aren't usually this way.

What's the occasion?

So, ma, why don't you sit down.

I'll clean off a place for you.

You ever heard
of a vacuum cleaner?

What a surprise.

You said that.

Shut up.

Why don't I fix us
a little lunch?

Ooh, you're in
for a special treat.

All right, everyone,
let's sit down.

Sit on what?

On the floor, ma.

It's customary.

Come on, ma,
take off your shoes.

Don't push it.

Oh, ma, you okay?

I'm all right
sitting on this floor.

Look at this stuff.

Little green things with rice.

Mrs. Wayne, in Japan

food is an expression
of the spirit.

Mm-hmm, I see.

And this special dish

reflects the delicate
balance of my union

with Dwayne.

His fire to my water...

His sun to my moon...

His fly to your spider.

Come on, ma, try it.

Eat up.

I'll try it.

Whitley:
Mrs. Wayne,
would you

like me to get you something

to wash that down with?

Some tea, please.

Dwayne?

Yeah, tea for me, too, whitley.

Whitley?

Yes, kinu-sabe?

I'll have tea, too.

Mrs. Wayne,
why don't I make you

a nice croque madame?

A what?

It's made with lightly

toasted French bread

delicate slices
of ham and cheese

that just melts in your mouth.

It's all grilled

to a nice, yummy, golden brown.

Sounds like a ham
and cheese sandwich to me.

I can't eat this stuff.

Your tea kettle
is steaming, whitley.

Ma, tell us about yourself.

I mean, whitley, kinu...

Just be quiet.

Calm down.

Let me take over.

Dwayne tells me that you
attend Avery university.

Yes, I'm an economics major.

Do you have your own apartment?

Yes.

Uh-huh, I see.

I've been helping Dwayne
decorate.

Oh, you cook and decorate?

Honey, did you tell your mother
how we met in Tokyo?

Okay, it was

the first day at kinishiwa...

Lemon and sugar,
Mrs. Wayne?

Just plain, thank you.

I know how Dwayne likes his.

A dash of sugar,
a little bit of milk.

How's that?

That's perfect.

Go on, Dwayne.

It was the first
day of kinishiwa...

Kiki, lemon?

Just give me the cup.

Anyone for prune cobbler?

I'll get it.

No, I'll get it.

I'm the maid.

Not anymore.

It's my job.

It's not your job...

Ooh, child!

I'm mad now.

I'm getting out of here.

If you had sense,
you'd come, too.

If I had a newspaper

I'd whack them both
on the behind.

Wait. I don't know
what to do.

My mouth is shut.

You know your mama.

I got a zip-lock on these lips.

I've never seen women
fight over a man like that.

Two little poodles
fighting over you

like you were a bone scrap.

And dropped my cobbler, too!

Shoot!

What are you doing here?

I'm trying to clean up.

You know what I'm talking about.

Why can't you
just leave us alone?

I've got a job to do.

Not anymore.

Please leave.

I'm not off till 5:00,
koo-koo-Lee.

The name is kinu.

Ki-nu. Kinu!

And you are fired!
Fired! Fired!

Go on, Dwayne, tell her.

Tell her she's fired.

Whitley, I have to talk
to kinu alone.

Sweetie, this can't go on.

That's exactly why I fired her.

That's not what I mean.

I don't want her around anymore.

You can't fire whitley.

I fired the maid.

Whitley's not the maid.

Then who is she, Dwayne?

Every time she's around,
something goes wrong between us.

No, that's not her.

That's me.

Why don't you just
tell me the truth.

You're in love with whitley.

I don't know.

Um...

You don't
have to fire me, Dwayne.

I quit.

Good-bye, whitley.

It was so nice
to have met you, Mrs. Wayne.

Are you leaving?

Whitley?

Yes.

Mr. Gaines
let me borrow this.

This is a vacuum cleaner.

Now, take it inside
and use it, honey.

I don't think
I should go back in there.

What's going on?

I'm not sure

but when you do go in there

would you tell Dwayne

that I'm resigning
from my position

and that I'm sorry.

It was really nice
seeing you again, Mrs. Wayne.

Hmm. Well, I guess
the party's over.

Honey, are you okay?

I don't know, ma.

You want to tell
your mama about it?

I just broke up with kinu.

I don't understand it.

She was smart, wonderful,
beautiful, perfect.

But it just wasn't happening,
you know?

Then there's whitley.

She's driving me crazy
and always hanging around

and I like it.

I don't get it.

What's wrong with me?

Nothing's wrong with you.

You're just confused.

And I'm hungry, too.

I can't fix everything,
but I can fix that, honey.

Look what I got for you.

A spare.

Yes, I have
a spare prune cobbler.

Child, you know

I didn't travel
without this little spare.

Yeah, I traveled
with this for you.

This is my little extra.

The last thing I wanted to do

was hurt kinu.

I know, honey.

But I can't stop
thinking about whitley.

All I want for you
is to be a happy boy...

With the right
woman that is.
Mom.

I haven't finished
the first bite yet.

Ma, how do I know when the right
woman comes along, though?

When the right woman comes along

you'll know it,
and so will your mama.

I wish your taste in women

was as good as
your taste in cobbler.

But my mouth is shut.

I got a zip-lock on these lips.

A zip-lock that you
don't know how to use.

I won't use it
until I say two more words...

Kimberly Reese.
Kimberly Reese.
Kimberly Reese.

That's the girl I want for you.

She's the finest thing and
she's going to be a doctor.

She could take care of your
heart and health. She's got
pretty white teeth

she'll be a good wife for you,
and daughter-in-law for me.

Marry her.

Mom... I love you.

I love you, too, chipmunk.