A Different World (1987–1993): Season 3, Episode 12 - Here's to Old Friends - full transcript

Dwayne's old friend comes to visit and convince Dwayne to come to his college because he believes one becomes the best by being with the best and starts to judge Dwayne's best friend Ron, While Colonel Taylor and Mr. Gaines get pe...

£ I know my parents loved me £

£ stand behind me
come what may £

£ I know now that I'm ready £

£ for I finally heard them say £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ yes, it is now, yeah £

£ here's our chance to make it £

£ and if we focus on our goal £

£ you can dish it,
we can take it £

£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ ooh £

£ than where you come from £

milt, the basket
is only seven-foot-six.

Would you like us
to tilt it forward for you?

Or we could get you a stepladder
to get you a little closer?

Come on milt, put something up.

Any time this month, man.

I'm just trying to delay
your humiliation.

I hate it when
you cry in public, boy.

Just like old times.

Even more like old times.

Don't get carried away, I always
let people from back home win.


Hey Ron, isn't it true last
time when my mom was in town

teh game was tied, I let
her drive the Lane

and throw up that
old weak stuff?

I still say she traveled.

Milt, I can't get over you, man.

You know, in junior high
he was such a troublemaker

the principal had to start
a dishonor roll.

Principle simonson still
hasn't found his toupee.

So what does this bum do?

He buckles down in high school

graduates cum laude from penn

get's a hot-shot wall street job

and in what? Two years

director of mergers
and acquisitions

at Addison rand.

It only took a year and a half.

Now if you gonna gush, get it

Well milt, you can put all of
your corporate concerns in
your briefcase

because this weekend
you're gonna experience
hillman hospitality

at its finest.

Oh yes, tomrrow night we're
having a get-together at my
place in your honor.

Sounds great, as long as
I'm not paying.

Just a few close friends.

And a few co-eds that
we'd like to get closer to.



Bag the bimbos.

All of them?

Every last one.

Ah, dag...

Angelene was looking forward
to meeting a man with a job.

If anything goes wrong

I'll be at
the king Baltimore hotel.

The chesapeake regional
servicemen's reunion.

Did I give you the number?

Yes, sir.

Seven times.

Only seven times?

Then that means I trust you.

Well Brad, are you ready to go?

Yeah, I just taught
my last class.

I dropped off the cat.

I'm ready to hit the road.

I can hardly wait
for this reunion.

Me neither, all week I've been
practicing my old war stories.

I even went in the attic
and pulled out my old
uniform from Korea.

Don't tell me it still fits?

Just fine.

Except for one thing.

For some reason
my hat was too big.

I wonder why?

So man, when did you
meet Dwayne Wayne?

When did I first meet Dwayne?

That's what I just said.

I was on my way
to the principal's office.

Yeah, they had a chair
with your name on it.

I saw this skinny little
third-grader with this head

it was so big, it looked like
it belonged on a man's body.

It still does.

It was one of the biggest heads
that any of us had ever seen.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, oh.

The barbers had to cutthat boy's

with a lawn mower.

You just wait till I meet
your friends.

When I first met Dwayne...

And don't let me get started

on those loveboat feet of yours.

Milton, did this
particular big head boy

have any romantic escapades
worth mentioning?

That does not include
playing doctor

with your big fat cousin Rosie.

I got to tell them
about the liplocker.

No, no, Milton, Milton, I'll
give you five dollars not to.

I will give you ten if you do.

20 if you have pictures.

Sorry, man.

Money talks.

There was this girl
in the seventh grade.

Daphne Cooper.



Daphne's head
was bigger than his.

It was Dwayne's first big dance.

He and Daphne
were slow-dancing...

Cranium to cranium.

All of a sudden

they were gone.

Dwayne wanted to get
a good night kiss

before his mother
came to pick him up.

So, they snuck
inside a gym locker.

Two hours later

Dwayne's mother, Daphne's father

and the fire department

had to pry them out
with the jaws of life.

I say this:

I haven't been kissed
like that since.

How touching.

That reminds me

of the time Dwayne and I
were in sloppy Nick's.

We were waiting on our pizzas,

and Dwayne was checking
out this girl, she's real cute

but he's too shy
to go over and talk to her.

So I walked up to her and I said

Dwayne was a talent scout
for Morris day.

Uh, can I use your bathroom?

Yeah, it's right there.

Iyeah 'm out of here, man,
got to go back to the dorms.

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Brad, I'm sorry about your car.

I didn't know
the wall was that close.

It's okay, vern.

Now, when you get it repainted

make sure they do
the entire right side

now it'll cost you more, but
that way the color will match.

I will consider it.

And make sure

they completely
strip the old paint

that way, the new coat
won't flake off like dandruff.

Nice turnout.

Yes, seems like it.

Oh, my goodness.

Tell me

that's not "no clue" carruthers.

When I was in Korea

all that man ever did was run
his mouth from sun-up to

On and on and on.

You ever seen people like that?


We always said
the quickest way to end the war

would be to send him up to the
front line,

and let him talk the
enemy to death.

I wish I'd stayed at home
with velma and canned plums.

Oh now, Vernon, don't work
yourslef up now.

He probably won't recognize you.

Know what I mean?

Don't touch my head.

Ah, excuse me, fellas.

Sergeant herndon carruthers.

457 bomb disposal.

Kesan, Korea.

You know, you look
awfully familiar.

Lord, lord, lord.

I know who you are.

You're Vernon gaines!

The best mess sergeant in Korea.

What happened to your hair?

You get it shot off in the war?

Uh, excuse me, gentlemen.

Oh, wait a minute, what?

You not leaving
me alone with him.

Oh, I'll be right back.

If you're not back
in two minutes

I'm faking a heart attack.

Okay, okay.

I hope you don't mind the hugs.

You know Vernon, for years I
couldn't hug another man.


Yeah, but that all ended
last new year's Eve.

I got this book on hug therapy.

Even birds love to be hugged.


Yeah, come here.

Excuse me,
lieutenant Carol Dillon?

Carol Dillon Garrison.

Captain Bradford Taylor.

Colonel Bradford Taylor.

Well, except for the rank,
you haven't changed one bit.

Neither have you.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Garrison? Oh no, Garrison?

You didn't marry Ben
Garrison in engineers, did you?

Yeah, just long enough
for him to get me pregnant

and run off
with our divorce lawyer.

Hey, all is fair

in love and war.

I'm sorry to hear
it didn't work out.

Come on, let's dance.

So, how about you?

I remember you had a thing
for this u.P.I. Photographer.

What was her name...

Um... Johanna?

Ah yes, well, Johanna and
I got married.


But of course now, she's alive
and living well in Germany...

Without me.

All the way in Germany.

All the way.

Well, I'm sorry to hear
things didn't work out.

Oh, you know, excuse me.

I think I better go call my kids

if I don't check on them, my
house will look like Saigon

by the time I get home.

Carol, I'll wait right here in
this spot until you get back.

I'm counting on it.

Now dogs,
they loved to be hugged.

Except them doberman pinschers.

You know, I think when
they get their ears

and their tails chopped off

it does something to
their personality.

My wife wanted to buy one.

I like your friends.

Oh, yeah?

And that whitley. Woah.

Are you and she..?

Sorry, milt.

Whitley's spoken for.

Wait aminute, Ron, you've never
even askedthe woman out.

I'm not sure if she knows
your last name.

I think you underestimate...

Well, that girl is a winner.

She's smart, classy

a future engineer would
definitely make it to c.E.O.

With her on his arm.

I see her on the arm of the man

to inherit Detroit's
largest auto dealership.

I see you on the arm
of an orderly

being escorted
back to your padded room.

Stranger things have happened.

I tell ya, one day his brain is
going to shift out of neutral.

Are you two really tight?

Yeah, we've been partners
since freshman year.

Ooh, that's too bad.

Wait, why do you say that?

He brings you down, man.

Down to his level.

The minute he opened
his mouth, I said

"this is just another
trifling, bourgeois brother"

"trying to be down."

Milt, wait a minute, the brother
isn't trying to be anything.

He's active in kappa lambda nu

he does a lot down at the youth

What kind of grades does he

You know, people put way
too much emphasis on grades.

I'll tell you something, you
would have been spared the rons
of the world

if you had taken my advice and
followed me to penn.

You don't have to be here, d.

Wait, no, I chose to be here,

Hillman is one of the finest
colleges in the country.

For what it is, a school like
this gives you a false since of

Everybody's black.

Everybody's equal.

That's not the real world.

Milt, I know the real world.

We grew up in it, remember?

You're not hearing me.

What're you saying?

I'm saying, my friends
in college were the sons
of c.E.O.'S.


You become the best
by being with the best.

Oh, who's got the big head now?

Dwayne, you got a lot to offer

but you not going anywhere
without the right training.

And certainly not by carrying
around dead weight.

Hey man, wait a minute,
man, first of all

Ron is nobody's
dead weight, okay?

And he's not trifling.

There's a busted water vein
in Libby hall.

There's a wet t-shirt contest
commencing as we speak.

Fellas, anyone feel like
bobbing for beauties?

Are you sure you don't want to

Need I remind you that Libby
hall is home to four
cheerleaders and a pre-med

that look good in dry t-shirts.

Ron, we gonna stay
and clean up for your arrival.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Well, thanks
for a great evening.

Milt, say, you're
a financial wiz.

I've got an idea that's got
gold mine written all over it.



Students are hungry.

Students stay hungry.

So here's the deal.

We rent some
old-fashioned ice cream carts

and we call it, steady yourself

"Dinner man. We deliver."

We'll talk about it.

I'm going to get you
some information on penn.

Right away.

"We'll talk about it."

You know,
he's lucky he's your homeboy.

Otherwise, his behind
would have been framing my foot.

What's your problem?

Every time I open my mouth,
Mr. Wall street journal breath

cut me off
like I had nothing interesting
to say.

I didn't notice.

I'm telling you, the man is

You see,
that's why powerful people

often surround themselves
with idiots.


Ron, why don't we clean up in
the morning.

You know, milt will think twice
about dissing my ideas

when we're
rolling in bucks, right partner?

Ron, your idea's dumb.


Yes, dumb. How can an ice cream
cart keep dinner warm?

Did I say
I had it all figured out?

Do you ever have anything
figured out?

Oh, yeah, I have one thing
figured out.

Somebody around here has a
pretty bad case

of miltonitis.

And that buppy-brother
is the last person

anyone should want to be like.

And don't let him come try
to buy a car in Detroit.


Hey, vern.

Where have you been?

Oh, I went upstiars to
get away from that man and his

so I took a bath.

Smart move.

Oh, by the way.

Your shoes
should be dry by tomorrow.

What happened to my shoes, vern?

Well, it was the darndest thing.

I was just about

to jump in the tub.

But the water felt tepid

so I added some more hot water.

What happened to my shoes,

I turned on the faucet

and the next thing I knew,
water was flying everywhere.

Like the johnstown flood.
No in Louisiana 1950.

Forget it.
Forget it.

Today, if you told me
my house had burned to the

It wouldn't bother me a bit.

Who was that lovely young lady
I saw you talking to?

That's Carol Garrison.

She was a nurse back in Vietnam.

Of course, back then, we just
smiled at each other.

Yeah, but that was then.

Well, you know

it's wise for a man your age
to get hooked up with a nurse.

Watch it.

Yeah, she held
that triage unit together.

Yeah, ah, that woman
could handle anything.

Matter of fact,
quiet as it's kept

I always kind of thought of her
as the one that got away.


Oh, here she comes.

Here she comes.


Don't leave me alone again.

Take it easy.


There you are.

Good thing I recognized you.

You know,
if I didn't know better

I would say
you was trying to avoid me.

Sorry I took so long.

Oh, that's all right.

Everything okay?

My 16-year-old
just totaled another car.

His second this year.

He's all right, isn't he?

His father
taught him how to drive.

I told bootsie

if he wrecks one more car

I'm putting his behind
in the street with his father.

You have children?

Oh yeah, I've got two.

Terrence and Suzanne.

Of course now, they're
spending the winter in Germany
with their mother.

Which means when they get back,
they'll disobey me in two

Suzanne, my second husband
married a woman named Suzanne.

No kidding.

Well, her name was really Susan.

But he started
calling her Suzanne

after mardi gras one year.

You know, the French
are famous for two things.

The other one is cooking.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm just sitting here
puffing away.

It's okay.

You know I've been trying
for years to stop.

I've tried everything.

Shick, bic, slick.

It's awful.

Right after my second divorce

I moved right up to
three packs a day.

Well, now, what worked for me
was just stopping cold Turkey.

Don't you think I've tried that?

I mean, after all,
I am a health care professional.

Oh, come on now Carrol I
just meant...

Well, anyway, just don't
give up.

Oh, I haven't.

I found this psychic through
my girlfriend's hairdresser.


Mhm. They're more accurate
than numerologists.

Now, if this girl works out

I'm gonna have her
talk to my shrink

about his drinking.

You know, Carol, somehow I
just don't think

that a psychic is the answer
to your problem. I mean, uh...


you think I have a problem?

Well I... everyone has
problems, it's just what I
meant was...

Aren't we getting a little
familiar a little too quickly.

Alright, let's just...

I didn't come
all the way to Maryland

to be judged, you know.

Come on, I'm not judging you
honey, I'm just saying...

You know what?

You are just like
bootsie's father.

Now, he thought

he knew everything, too.

Oh, no, I...

But you know, you don't know me.

And you never will.

Carol, all I was saying
was that i-i-i...

You want some company?

Just as long as
you're not into psychics

and numerology and shrinks.

No, I'm strictly hug therapy.

What am I going to do?

I will never
finish this on time.


I know, I'll just ask colonel
Taylor for an extension.

And I know what
you're going to say, dawyne.

"Whitley, you have
more extensions

than milli vanilli."

Hey, whitley, why don't you

ask colonel Taylor
for an extension?

Ooh, that's a good idea.

What do you think of Ron?

Ron who?

Ron Johnson, my roommate?

How would you describe him?

Well, he... he's silly.


Yeah, go on.


A bit crude.

Did I say obnoxious?


Okay, well,
can't stress that enough.

Um, but you know, there is
a very sweet side to Ron.

He reminds me of a stray puppy.

Now you see, you didn't use
words like "stupid" and "dead
weight." Did you?

Stupid? Course he's not stupid.

He wouldn't have been
accepted at this school.


Did you ever think about
going to another college?

Dwayne, I'm doing the best I can
with this math stuff.

No, whitley, I mean when you
were applying to colleges

was hillman your first choice?

Of course.

I was accepted at Georgetown,
and when I turned them down

my guidance counselor
threw a hissy fit.

She said she couldn't understand

why a girl with so much to offer

like myself

would, would limit myself
at a school like hillman.

That's what she told me.

That sounds familiar.

She didn't understand.

My great-granddaddy
was all but accepted

at this certain
Ivy league school

until he showed up
for the interview.

He went to hillman.

And he went on to become
the first black circuit judge

of Madison county, Virginia.

He always told me
when I was seven years old

"baby, you can
go to school anyplace

"but no school will love you

"and teach you to love yourself"

"and know yourself"

"like hillman."

Then he'd start talking
about the bolsheviks because
he was getting a lil'...

Excuse me.


Sorry I'm late.

You're a little overdressed
to be out here shooting
jumpers, ain't you pop?

You always said I was
a style master on the court.

So true, so true

look d, in order to make
a point last night

maybe I came down
a little hard on Ron.

I mean, I still think he's
dragging you down and all...

Milt, milt, dpn't worry about it

we all say things to make
points, right?



Did you get a chance to look at
that information about penn?

I sure did.

You know, penn is a very good

That ball needs a little air.

Penn is a great school

and they have
better basketballs.

So does this mean you're
thinking about transferring?

Well, I read the penn catalog,
then I read hillman's.

Did you know that hillman
has as many Ph.D.'s

as most top-ranked schools,
including penn?

I didn't know that.

Now you do.

Of course a Ph.D. is kind of a

if you don't have
the right kind of students to

Glad you mentioned that, too.

I went over to admissions
and found out

that over 80% of all
incoming hillman freshmen

were in the top third
of their class.

Of course, college
is more than just a degree.

It's about making
the right contacts.

I'm glad
you mentioned that, too.

Did you know about
that kinishewa internship

I had last semester?


I got hired by
the senior vice president

a hillman alum.

In fact, he told me
that after graduation

he'd be happy to give me a job
and pay for grad school.

But I'll be sure
to keep penn in mind.

Nice shot.

I guess this ball
had a little more air

than I thought.

Well, when you get
into the real world

and you need some good contacts

call me.

The real world, huh?

Keep in touch.

Brother, I think
you need to keep in touch.

Take it slow, milt.

Only 168 hours until
"dinner man. We deliver."

I wrote up a proposal

found an investor

with an old-fashioned
ice cream cart

and a portable microwave.

Ron, I got to hand it to you.

All I want you to hand me
is the ball.

Here you go.

And none of that soft stuff
like you had with milt.

I want you to play me tough
like you did your mother.

Oh, okay, let's go.

Magic Johnson, Isaiah Thomas.

Wrigley's spearmint chewing gum
and nbc.

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