A Different World (1987–1993): Season 3, Episode 10 - For Whom the Jingle Bell Tolls - full transcript

£ I know my parents loved me £

£ stand behind me
come what may £

£ I know now that I'm ready £

£ for I finally heard them say £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ yes, it is now, yeah £

£ here's our chance to make it £

£ and if we focus on our goal £

£ you can dish it,
we can take it £

£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £



£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ ooh £

£ than where you come from. £

£ hark, the herald angels sing £

£ glory to the newborn king £

£ peace on earth
and mercy mild £

£ god and sinners reconciled £

£ joyful all ye nations rise £

£ join the triumph
of the skies £

£ with angelic calls proclaim £

£ Christ is born in Bethlehem. £



sorry.

£hark,
the herald angels sing... £

not in my room, they don't.

Every shop in the mall

was blasting the salsa version
of "oh, holy noche."

Is the mall a zoo?

No. In the zoo,
they cage their animals.

First, some rat-faced housewife

elbowed me out of my place
in the gift-wrap line.

Then her homely
little butterball

stuck his candy cane
to my sable coat.

I hate candy canes.

And I hate eggnog.

I hate fruitcake.

And if I see, thank you,

one more blinky-eyed Santa

I'm just going to punch
his lights out.

Merry Christmas to you.

Thanks.

Hey, you guys.

There's a reason

that I haven't given you
your Christmas presents yet.

It's because I got each of you
a humpback whale.

Gee, Fred, the gift wrap alone
must have cost you a fortune.

No, really.

I adopted whales
in each of your names.

So you're each

going to be receiving
an adoption certificate

and a little picture
of your whale's tail.

Freddie...

There are no words.

I'll see you guys later
at the tree-trimming party.

No you won't, you'll see me on
the steps telling y'all to shut
up.

You're not coming?

This is your last chance to see
everybody before you go home.

Dwayne said he'd be there.

Well, deck the halls.

Hello?

Hi, mama.

No, I didn't get a chance to buy

a presentable bathing suit
because...

I know my metallic one-piece
makes me look like a canned ham.

It doesn't matter.

Because I'm not going
to the south of France.

You wouldn't even know
it was Christmas there

if the bellhops
didn't wear Santa hats.

Mama...

Mama, can we please
spend Christmas at home

in Richmond?

Fine.

I'm still going home.

Okay, yeah.

You have a wonderful trip, mama.

Joyeux Noel.

Whitley, I have a great idea.

My parents are away
at a soil conference

so we won't celebrate Christmas
until St. Patrick's day.

Why doesn't that surprise me?

But the point is

I have no plans
and you have no plans.

So let's just hang out together
at your place.

We could roast Turkey loaf,
drink hot cider, play old maid...

Pictionary.

What do you think?

Sounds like a good idea to me.

Then you take her home with you
for Christmas.

I did my charity work

when I wrote a check to that
distempered sidewalk Santa.

I got to go.

Freddie, listen, why don't
you come home...

It's okay.

I'd rather be here by myself.

Whitley, what an awful
thing to say.

That stumbling tumbleweed
wouldn't fit in in Richmond

and you know it.

You know, you are getting
more and more like your mother.

There's nothing wrong
with my mama

and I'm nothing like her.

Whitley, take another look.

I'm going to see
if Freddie's okay.

Yes, you do that.

And here, take this stinky
little tree with you.

It makes the whole room

smell like disinfectant toilet.

I hate Christmas.

I'm sick of all of it.

Oh...

Got to get that mirror cleaned.

Darling, give mama a hug.

No, better yet,
just give me a kiss.

Because you know how silk
wrinkles.

What in heaven's name?

Oh, I know what this is.

It's that souvlaki on a stick
I had at the mall.

Whitley, tell me that nightgown
is not flannel.

What if there's a fire?

You certainly sound like mama,
but this has to be a dream

'cause she would never travel
in an outfit like that.

Don't you just adore this dress?

And look at this brooch.

It's a diamond weasel
with Ruby eyes.

This cannot be real.

It mos certainly is real, if you
don't believe me

you ask your father
when he gets the bill.

Okay, mama.

If this isn't a dream

why are you
so over-accessorized?

To make a point.

Whitley, I've come to tell you
something very, very important.

I know!

You're going to spend Christmas
at home with me!

Oh, darling, now you know
I plan to rendezvous

with the pumphreys
at cap d'antibes.

But the truth is, whitley

I have come to warn you.

About over-accessorizing?

Heavens, no.

Not about over-accessorizing.

Tonight, you will be visited
by three...

Shall we say...

Free spirits.

You know, not exactly
our type of people.

Mama, please.

I'm in no mood to entertain.

Whitley

without these visitors,
you cannot hope

to avoid the path
I have tread in my life.

But, mama...

Whitley Marion Gilbert!

Do you want to wake up one day

with only a full-length sable
to keep you warm

and a bitter little senile dog
as your main companion?

No, not especially.

Now that is not to say

that you are not
going to age flawlessly

as I have.

But, whitley,
you are going to age

and you will age alone.

Mama...

Expect your first visitor
when the bell tolls 11:00.

That's in eastern standard time,
of course.

And, darling, please put on
your little pink silk nightie.

Because you look as though
you're dressed

to fry up a batch
of hush puppies.

Mama! Mama!

The ghost of Christmas past!

Rise and shine.

We got a long trip ahead of us.

You own a robe?

Can we postpone this
till after new year's?

Oh, no.

When the bell tolls 12:00,
I'm on vacation.

Two weeks of fishing
for largemouth bass

and I might get in some
water-skiing.

Well, where are we going,
the diamond mines?

Oh, no.

In your dreams

it's my job to shine a light
on your past.

Now shake a leg.

I don't get paid overtime.

Now come on.

No... out the window?

I'm afraid to fly

especially without a plane.

Oh, my goodness.

Why do I always have to be
the first ghost?

Oh, it's so cold out here!

Well, I told you
to put on a robe.

Whitley:
Ooh, boy!

Ghost:
Let go of my neck.

I'm too old for
a piggyback ride.

This is my house.

Watch out for the piano.

I'm going to inherit this.

Look, there's my daddy.

And that little girl...

That's me.

Aren't I adorable?

Uh-oh.

Hey, you got a cowlick, honey.

Yoo-hoo.

Don't waste your breath.

She can't see you or hear you.

Nobody can.

Mother:
Whitley?

Oh, whitley?

Whitley?

Oh, there you are.

Mama, you look beautiful.

Oh, darling, of course I do.

And so do you

except for your hair.

Do something about that cowlick.

That's better.

That's better.

Now give mama a kiss.

Can I open this one?

Darling, you must say "may I."

But not before we take some
pictures with daddy.

Say "cheese."

Fromage.

Now can...

May I open the present?

Darling, this one
is for the baby.

Here you are, titi.

Merry Christmas, sweetheart.

And this one is for you,
whitley.

There you are.

This was
my happiest Christmas ever.

I loved those gold watches.

I don't believe

in giving children
expensive presents.

They're just as happy with
an old spoon and a pot.

Whitley, we have to get dressed
for the pumphreys.

What shall we wear
our new brocade?

That will be fabulous
with my new diamond earrings.

I can't stand the pumphreys.

That man could
put coffee to sleep.

Of course now his wife is a
hoot.

Don't tell me we're going
to the pumphreys like this?

Oh, no.

You have another appointment.

This is just the start
of your evening.

Titi, down! Down! Down!

Titi, down!

Hey, if you're going
to throw something,
throw some money.

Or some cranberry sauce
to go with this Turkey leg.

Kim?

You sound a little congested.

Would you like a throat lozenge?

My, my.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am the ghost
of Christmas present.

I represent all the finest
that mankind has to offer...

Joy, goodwill, Turkey.

If you got
some lesson to teach me

can we get this show on
the road?

I got to
wake up at the crack of dawn.

Excuse me.

Better hurry up and
put on your bedroom
dancing slippers.

We got a party to crash.

Excuse me.

I'm a little rusty.

Colonel Taylor?

I want you at my table
for Christmas dinner.

It's not right for a man
shouldn't be alone on the
holidays.

No, thank you, Vernon,
see 'cause I know what
you're up to.

You're just trying to set me up
with another one of velma's
cousins. No thank you.

Annabelle pinkston is not
one of velma's cousins.

Uh-huh.

Aren't you sorry
you didn't come?

Not especially.

Where's whitley?

I'm glad somebody misses me.

She's upstairs sleeping
in heavenly peace.

Don't lie, she's up there

trying to stuff herself
into my Christmas stocking.

Brother, you'll be lucky if you
get coal and odor eaters.

You're not going home
for Christmas?

No, my family's celebrating
on St. Patrick's day.

Listen Freddie, I'm not goign
home till Christmas Eve.

When the dorm clears out,
why don't you come stay
at my place.

Uh!

I'll sleep on the couch.

I hope so.

Dwayne, that would be great.

You know, most great romances
start off as friendships. Mhm.

Mistletoe alert.

Traitor!

He who hesitates...

Oh, no, no, no.

Ms. Vinson, please fill the air
with your velvet voice.

Sure. Any requests?

Yeah, why don't we do
"the twelve days of Christmas"

hillman style.

Hillman style.

Ah, now and what is that?
Hillman style?

£ on the first day of Christmas
my true love gave to me £

£ an m.C. Hammer cd £

that's hot.

£ on the second day
of Christmas £

£ my true love gave to me £

£ two butts a-bumping £

£ to my m.C. Hammer cd £

£ on the third day of Christmas
my true love gave to me £

£ three French... £

£ kisses £

£ two butts bumping £

£ to my m.C. Hammer cd £

£ on the fourth day
of Christmas £

£ my true love gave to me £

£ four flunking freshmen £

£ three French... £

£ kisses £

£ two butts a-bumping £

£ and an m.C. Hammer cd £

£ on the fifth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me £

£ five onion rings £

£ four flunking freshmen £

£ three French kisses £

£ two butts a-bumping £

£ to my m.C. Hammer cd £

I have one.

£ on the sixth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me... £

let's light the Christmas tree.

Oh, now we're going to light
the Christmas tree.

Sorry, we've got to go down the
road whitley.

Where are we going

that's so important?

Christmas day.

Can't you just use the doorknob?

Oh.

Whitley:
Well, I hope somebody
invited her to dinner.

Afraid not.

At 6:00, she'll fire up
the broiler and throw on

a couple Turkey dogs.

Well, she had one gift
under her... twig.

Were you thinking about how her
Christmas could have been

if you had taken her home.

One little Christmas
won't get Freddie down.

She'll just write a poem.

The 'no' in Noel."

Not this time.

Unless somebody intervenes

this Christmas will change
Freddie's destiny forever.

But don't think of this
as pressure.

Are you the ghost
of Christmas yet to come?

Go ahead, boy.

Whitley:
It's Dwayne,
all grown up.

He looks so handsome
and debonair.

And look, there's Ron.

He looks so much like Ron.

Yes, yes, they love
their uncle Ron, don't you?

And I wouldn't forget you,
little whitley.

Here. You have expensive tastes.

Did you hear that?

He called her whitley.

Ron, when are you gonna
settle down, hop off the
bunny trail

and have kids of your own?

As soon as my genius engineer
friend learns how to clone his
missus.

It's me, isn't it?

I'm Dwayne's missus.

Girl, would you get
your eyes checked?

Look at these children.

Whitley:
Oh, no.

How could Dwayne marry her?

Well, you only have
yourself to blame.

Jaleesa:
Dwayne never thought of
Freddie as anything

but a friend.

At least until she spent
a few days with him

back over Christmas break in
1989.

And the rest is future.

As president of hillman,

I would like to
welcome you to our
illustrious faculty.

Thank you sir, thank you.

As a stockholder of kinishewa

I'm sweating bullets.

Bullets?
Did somebody say "bullets"?

I told Dwayne how happy we are

that he's taking over
the math department.

Wayne, son, you were
our first choice.

I'm not Wayne.

What's that you say?

I'm not Wayne.

Colonel Taylor, sir,
I'm over here, sir.

Whose department
is he taking over?

Yours.

What's that you say?

Yours!

Yours. That's what I said.
That's what I said.

Son, you don't have to shout.

I ain't blind.

Well, you're the surgeon.

I think that you
should carve the Turkey.

I'll take a stab at it.

But I can't promise you
that the patient will survive.

I have been spending all
of my time promoting my book

when bad organs are removed
from good people.

Oh, my goodness.

I said that's a Turkey,
girl, not a hedge.

Walter:
I'd like to propose a toast.

To absent friends.

Here, here.

You know, it's a shame whitley
Gilbert Patterson sims Dubois

couldn't be here.

Nobody's seen whitley

since chauncey left her
for that stewardess.

I suppose she a lot younger
than whitley?

Worse. A lot older.

I wish I were dead.

Oh, I wouldn't if I were you.

I've seen your funeral.

Mm. Not pretty.

Who attended?

Your poodles.

Didn't any two-legged
animals attend?

Well, doctor Reese
and jaleesa vinson...

The very lovely, sexy
multi-talented

director of vinson
cable corporation...

And Dwayne Wayne.

Dwayne attended?

Mm-hmm. Shed
some tears, too.

He cried?

I think he's allergic
to the poodles.

Everybody, save room for
dessert.

I didn't make it.

Is this really
how the future will be?

Actually, it's worse.

I glossed over

your nightmare years
down on the fat farm.

The fat farm!

Girl, you blew up to a size 16.

You were a lonely,
soap opera-watching

bonbon-popping...

Stop, please.

Can I finish, please?

I was about to say
you were going to be doomed

unless you get a grip
and make a serious change.

Voices chanting:
Change, change, change...

£ fried onion rings £

£ four flunking freshmen,
three French kisses £

£ two butts a-bumping £

£ to my m.C. Hammer cd £

I didn't do this to the room.

Kim, it's my little surprise.

I think it's wonderful.

I just want to tell you
that one day, Dr. Reese

you're going to make your roomie
very proud of you.

You have the merriest
Christmas ever.

You, too.

Ahh. The fresh smell of pine.

I had one too many
bourbon balls.

Mama?

What are you doing here?

Oh, darling.

I have something to tell you.

I have something
to tell you, too.

I've decided to
not go to France
I've decided
to go to France

but darling, I've decided that
we should spend Christmas
together in Richmond.

After all, who's more
important to me, the pumphreys
or my little baby?

You mean me?

Who else, darling?

Mama, I've already
packed for France.

I even invited
a friend to come along.

A friend?

Well, that's wonderful, darling.

The more the merrier.

Oh, god.

Please tell me
that is not the one.

Mama, Freddie's a very
interesting girl.

Mrs. Gilbert, hey,
how's it going?

Hope it's okay if I tag along.

Uh, sure, Freda.

Freddie.

Freddie.

I can't believe I'm gonna
be spending Christmas on
the riviera.

Neither can I.

Oh, before we make tracks,
should I pack this

or just swim in cutoffs
and a tank top?

I have just had
the most marvelous idea.

Instead of spending Christmas

in that stuffy old suite
at the chateau d'antibes

why don't we rent a secluded
beach house in Maine?

Just picture it.
Maine.

Towering pines,
freshly fallen snow

a roaring fire and not another
living soul for 500 miles.

That sounds beautiful.

Thank you.

We're gonna have a
wonderful time, Freddie.

Besides, I wouldn't dream
of leaving you here alone

to spend Christmas in Dwayne's
grungy little apartment.

Ladies, ladies.

I promise both of you

the happiest Christmas
you have ever known.

God bless us, everyone.

Oh, darling.

£ joy to the world
the lord is come £

£ let earth receive her king £

£ let her, let her, yeah £

£ let every... £

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