A Different World (1987–1993): Season 1, Episode 12 - Advise and Descent - full transcript

Denise volunteers as a school counselor during final exams to get out of writing a major research paper.

£ I KNOW MY PARENTS LOVE ME £

£ STAND BEHIND ME
COME WHAT MAY £

£ I KNOW NOW THAT I'M READY £

£ BECAUSE I FINALLY
HEARD THEM SAY £

£ IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD £

£ FROM WHERE YOU COME FROM £

-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-

£ HERE'S A CHANCE TO MAKE IT £

£ IF WE FOCUS ON OUR GOAL £

£ IF YOU DISH IT,
WE CAN TAKE IT £

£ JUST REMEMBER
YOU'VE BEEN TOLD £



£ IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD £

£ FROM WHERE YOU COME FROM £

£ IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD £

£ FROM WHERE YOU COME FROM £

WELL, LOOKS LIKE
TODAY'S WATCHWORD IS

WORK, WORK, WORK,
WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK.

YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP,
YAP, YAP, YAP.

WHITLEY, SOME OF US
HAVE TESTS TOMORROW.

WELL, OTHERS OF US
HAVE FINISHED OUR READING.

EXCEPT FOR BOTANY.

BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT
GETTING AN "A" IN BOTANY

IS AS EASY AS
PICKING POSIES.

THAT'S NOT
WHAT I HEARD.

YOU KNOW
NEIL HAMILTON?



"D-plus."

YEAH, AND HE'S
A SCIENCE MAJOR.

HE WAS.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT MR. HAMILTON

BUT I'LL BE JUST FINE...

SOON AS I FIND MILLIE
AND HER NOTES.

MMM-MMM-MMM!

ALL THESE
FINE WOMEN.

AND TUNA CASSEROLE, TOO.

THIS IS
ONE-STOP SHOPPING.

DON'T GET COMFORTABLE.

I AM NOT HERE
IDLY SCOPING, OKAY?

I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT
WITH MY MAN RON

WHO IS TYPING UP
MY LAST PAPER AS WE SPEAK.

WHICH LEAVES ME,
COOL MASTER MATH

FREE TO JAM ON
ANYBODY'S PROBLEMS.

OKAY.

HERE'S A MATH PROBLEM
FOR YOU.

SUBTRACT YOURSELF
FROM THIS ROOM.

HEY, YOU GUYS.

GUESS WHO FINALLY GOT CALLED
AS A PEER COUNSELOR?

DO YOU BELIEVE IT?

PEER COUNSELORS
ADVISE OTHER STUDENTS.

YEAH.

NO, I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

I LUCKED OUT.

MOST OF THE VOLUNTEERS
WANTED THIS WEEK OFF.

THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT.

IT'S FINALS WEEK.

THEY WANT TO STUDY.

MM-HMM.

DENISE, DIDN'T YOU
SAY SOMETHING ABOUT

HAVING A HISTORY PAPER DUE
FOR PROFESSOR "C-minus" WATSON?

I'M HALFWAY THROUGH
MY SECOND DRAFT.

DENISE.

DENISE.

I'VE DONE ALL THE RESEARCH

AND I'VE GOT
A GREAT TOPIC.

THE IMPACT OF THE POTATO.

SAY WHAT?

ON THE ECONOMY OF IRELAND.

OOOH.

GREAT, HUH?

I FORGOT
THE POTATO CHIPS.

I'VE GOT TO
GET OUT OF HERE.

SEE YOU LATER.

DENISE, IF YOU
PUT OFF TILL TOMORROW

WHAT YOU SHOULD
DO RIGHT NOW

"C-minus" WATSON
WILL OWN YOUR BEHIND.

I'LL WORK ON IT AT
THE COUNSELING CENTER.

I NEVER SAID
YOU WOULDN'T.

THIS IS GOOD.

'TWAS THE NIGHT
BEFORE FINALS

AND ALL THROUGH
THE PLACE

FINE WOMEN WERE STUDYING,
BOOKS UP TO THEIR FACE.

HI.

I'M DENISE.

I'M ONE OF
THE NEW COUNSELORS.

I'M HERE
TO HELP YOU.

I'M Z.

OKAY, Z.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
GIVE ME YOUR REAL NAME

Z IS MY NAME.

IT'S SHORT FOR E.Z.

OKAY, Z, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

CAN YOU LIFT MY HEAD?

SURE.

OOH... AHH.

THANKS.

I REALLY WENT
OUT THERE THAT TIME.

( neck cracking loudly )

OOH!

FROM CALIFORNIA, RIGHT?

YEAH,
GOOD ANTENNA.

HEY.

OH, YOU'RE HOMESICK.

YEAH, SURE.

AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE.

NO, NO,
NOT REALLY.

I'M THE GRAD STUDENT
WHO RUNS THE PLACE.

E.Z. BROOKS.

OH, I KNEW THAT.

YEAH.

I'M REALLY EXCITED
TO WORK HERE.

I CAN'T WAIT
TO START.

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.

YOU WANT ME
TO TALK TO HIM
ALONE?

HE LOOKS UPSET.

YEAH, WELL, DENISE,
THAT CAN HAPPEN HERE.

HI, I'M DENISE.

CAN I HELP YOU?

NOTHING STICKS
IN MY MIND.

I'M GOING TO FLUNK
ALL MY FINALS.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

I AM, I AM, I'M TELLING YOU.
ALL OF THEM.

OKAY.

STAY RIGHT THERE.

Z, HE'S GOING TO FLUNK
ALL OF HIS FINALS.

YEAH, WELL,
THIS SOUNDS MAJOR.

HEY, DUDE, COME HERE.

HAVE A SEAT.

I'M HAVING
TROUBLE MEMORIZING.

NOTHING STICKS.

I SHOULD FORGET FINALS
AND QUIT SCHOOL NOW.

YEAH, MAN, DO IT.

NOW'S A GREAT TIME.

THEY'RE HIRING AT
FAJITA PHIL'S.

EXCELLENT SALSA.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO BE A LAWYER.

LAWYER, FRY COOK...

MY PARENTS
WOULD KILL ME.

TAKE IT DOWN
A THOUSAND.

IF YOU WANT TO STUFF
IT'S YOUR LIFE.PITAS,

YEAH.

MAYBE I'LL SEE HOW I DO
ON MY TESTS.

IF I FLUNK,
THEY'LL ASK ME TO LEAVE, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

AND IF I DON'T?

THEY WON'T.

RIGHT!

THANKS.

OH, WOW.

THAT WAS REVERSE
PSYCHOLOGY, RIGHT?

THAT STUFF'S AMAZING.

YEAH, WELL, IF YOU
STAY WITH THE WAVE

YOU'LL EVENTUALLY
HIT THE BEACH.

RIGHT.

WELL, SO WHAT
DO WE DO NOW?

WELL, I'VE
GOT TO STUDY.

OH, WELL, I GUESS I COULD
WORK ON MY PAPER, TOO.

RIGHT AFTER
I GET SETTLED.

DENISE, I SEE THAT THE PRESSURES
OF FINALS HAVE REDUCED YOU

TO SEEKING HELP IN A TAWDRY,
STUDENT-RUN, SNAKE PIT.

WHITLEY, I HAPPEN
TO BE WORKING HERE.

'COURSE YOU ARE.

WELL, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH, MILLIE.

WHAT DID I
DO?

WHILE YOU'RE HERE CHATTING
WITH THESE BUZZ BUNNIES

I'M TWIDDLING MY THUMBS
FOR LACK OF BOTANY NOTES.

I'M SORRY.

IT'S TAKEN ME
LONGER THAN I THOUGHT.

THE WORLD OF FLORA
IS SO VAST.

I FEAR WE'LL NEVER
BE READY BY FRIDAY.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

I WAS RAISED
AMONG FLOWERS.

BUT WHAT ABOUT FUNGI?

DO YOU KNOW
THE CHIEF REQUIREMENTS

FOR THEIR GROWTH?

NO, BUT I WILL
WHEN I READ YOUR NOTES.

BUT I'VE JUST REACHED
THE CELL STRUCTURE OF THE SPORE.

PHYSIOLOGICAL...
BRAIN... BRAIN.

E.Z.:
WHAT'S IN THE BRAIN?

BRAIN IS THE HALLWAY...

WHAT'S MY BRAIN?

OH, MY BRAIN.

LISTEN, MAN.

EVERYTHING IS GOING
TO BE OKAY.

OKAY?

DWAYNE.

THIS IS E. Z. BROOKS.

HE RUNS THE CENTER.

E.Z., THIS IS MY FRIEND,
DWAYNE WAYNE.

HEY, DUDE.

WHAT'S UP, MAN?

CALIFORNIA, RIGHT?

WAIT A MINUTE.

DO YOU KNOW MY COUSIN,
ELAINE WAYNE?

DOES SHE SURF?

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO LEARN TO SURF.

NEXT TIME I HIT VIRGINIA BEACH,
I'LL TAKE YOU.

REALLY?
SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

SO WHAT WE HAVE
IS HIM ON A SURFBOARD

AND YOU IN A BIKINI.

YO, MAN, RELAX.

DWAYNE, TAKE IT
DOWN A THOUSAND.

YOU CAN COME, TOO.

THAT'S THE GREAT THING
ABOUT THE OCEAN.

DID YOU, LIKE, DYE THOSE
PANTS YOURSELF, DUDE?

LATER.

( phone ringing )

COME HERE.

LEAVE HIM ALONE.

HE'S REALLY NEAT.

HE HANDLES
PEOPLE WELL.

HE'S GOING TO
TEACH ME A LOT.

MR. AVOCADO HEAD?

I GET THE FEELING HE WANTS
TO MAKE GUACAMOLE WITH YOU.

I GET THE FEELING
YOU'RE JEALOUS.

JEALOUS? HA!

FINE, MARRY THE GUY.

GO BACK TO
PALOS VERDES.

HAVE A BUNCH OF
LITTLE AVOCADO HEADS.

ONE DAY, YOU'LL BE
80 YEARS OLD

AND WHAT WILL
YOU HAVE DONE?

MADE A SALAD.

THE CORRECT ANSWER
IS MESOCARP.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

THERE IS NO NEED
TO GLOAT.

THE CORRECT ANSWER
IS EXOCARP.

WHITLEY, I FEAR YOU WILL
NEVER BE READY FOR THIS TEST.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE OF YOUR
PITIFUL PENMANSHIP.

I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN
READING FLY FOOTPRINTS.

I SUPPOSE I COULD
TYPE UP THE NOTES FOR YOU.

YOU SHOULD--

FOR THE SAKE
OF YOUR PRIDE,
IF NOTHING ELSE.

MIND IF I
JOIN YOU, WHITLEY?

WHY, AM I COMING APART?

JUST A LITTLE
PSYCHIATRIC HUMOR.

I THOUGHT IT
MIGHT APPEAL TO YOU.

I JUST NEED
A PLACE TO WORK.

WELL, THERE'S NOT
ENOUGH ESPRESSO FOR TWO.

TAKE IT DOWN
A THOUSAND, WHITLEY.

I JUST WANT
TO WORK ON MY PAPER.

ALL RIGHT, IF YOU MUST.

I'M PRACTICALLY DONE, ANYWAY.

I'M JUST GIVING THIS
BOTANICAL ENCYCLOPEDIA

A CURSORY GLANCE.

JUST PRETEND
I'M NOT HERE.

I NEVER THOUGHT THAT I,
A FORMER MISS MAGNOLIA

AND DAUGHTER OF
A FIVE-TIME RICHMOND ROSE

WOULD EVER SAY THIS

BUT... I HATE FLOWERS!

WELL, DO YOU WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT?

I THINK THAT COUNSELING JOB
HAS GONE TO YOUR HEAD.

I'M NOT JUST
SOME JABBERING LOON

FROM OFF THE STREETS,
YOU KNOW.

I'VE GOT WORK TO DO

BUT IF YOU NEED TO TALK,
IT CAN WAIT.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
I HAVE WORK TO DO, TOO.

LOTS OF IT.

PLENTY OF IT.

WE SHOULD BOTH GET
SOMETHING TO EAT.

WHY DON'T WE GO
TO THE PIT?

FINE.

I COULD USE ANOTHER
CUP OF COFFEE.

MAYBE EVEN
SOME SUGAR.

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU THINK I NEED HELP.

WHITLEY, IF YOU JUST
STAY WITH THE WAVE

YOU'LL EVENTUALLY
HIT THE BEACH.

I KNOW THAT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

STAY WITH THE WAVE?

HI.

HAVE A SEAT.

I DON'T THINK I'M GOING
TO DO WELL ON MY FINALS.

WELL...

WHY NOT QUIT SCHOOL?

NOW'S A GREAT TIME.

YOU'RE RIGHT, I THINK I WILL.

WAIT, WAIT!

WAIT A MINUTE.

WILL YOU
COME BACK, PLEASE?

LET'S START OVER.

HI, I'M DENISE.

HI, I'M MARK

I'M DOOMED.

THE VERY BEST
I CAN HOPE FOR ARE "Bs".

YOU CALL THAT "DOOMED"?

I'D BE THRILLED.

NOT IF YOUR OLDER BROTHER
GOT STRAIGHT "As"

EVERY SEMESTER IN PRE-MED.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

MY SISTER SONDRA GOT
STRAIGHT "As" IN PRINCETON.

WAIT A MINUTE.

SHE GOT A "B".

IN FENCING.

DIDN'T THAT BOTHER YOU?

IT USED TO

BUT THERE ARE THINGS
I DO BETTER THAN SHE DOES...

EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT SURE
WHAT THEY ARE YET.

WHAT IS SHE DOING NOW?

SHE RUNS A WILDERNESS STORE
WITH HER HUSBAND.

A WILDERNESS STORE?

SO YOU BETTER GET YOUR DEGREE.

YOUR BROTHER MIGHT END UP
SELLING KAYAKS.

THANKS A LOT, DENISE.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

WOW!

WAY TO RIP,
DENISE.

THANKS.

STARTING TO GET
THE HANG OF IT.

WANT ME TO CRACK
YOUR NECK?

I GUESS IT
COULDN'T HURT.

JUST TRUST ME.

WHOA, Z,
YOU BEACH DOG!

DWAYNE, TAKE IT DOWN
A THOUSAND, ALL RIGHT?

TALK ENGLISH, MAN.

OKAY.
YO, CHILL, HOMEBOY.

SO, HOW'S THAT
PAPER COMING?

MAKING PROGRESS.

MAKING PROGRESS?

"THE POTATO WAS A STAPLE
OF THE IRISH DIET."

THAT'S COMING ALONG
LIKE GREASED LIGHTNING.

I COULD GET MORE DONE

IF YOU WEREN'T ALWAYS
TELLING ME TO GET TO WORK.

FINE.

YO, DUDE, COULD I, LIKE,
RAP ON YOUR WAVE MOMENTITO?

YEAH, MAN,
WHAT'S UP?

WHILE YOU WERE
CRACKING HER NECK--

AND DUDE, IT BETTER STOP THERE--

THE GIRL HAS A PAPER TO WRITE.

I KNOW THAT AND YOU KNOW THAT

BUT UNTIL DENISE KNOWS IT,
THERE'S NO POINT IN TELLING HER.

DEEP.

PRIMO DEEP.

HOW DO YEASTS
REPRODUCE?

MILLIE, THIS IS BOTANY,
NOT BIOLOGY.

YOU DON'T HAVE THE SENSE
GOD GAVE A CHICKEN.

WHY WOULD THAT
BE ON THE EXAM?

BECAUSE IT WAS
ON LAST YEAR'S EXAM.

OH, REALLY?

WELL, HOORAY FOR LAST YEAR.

WHITLEY, WHAT LIGHT SOCKET
DID YOU PUT YOUR FINGER IN?

RON, DID YOU THINK FINALS
WOULD BE THIS BAD?

NOT IN MY WORST NIGHTMARE.

YOU BABES
LOOK RUGGED.

I NEVER SEEN SO MANY
HEAD SCARVES UNDER ONE ROOF.

I FEEL LIKE
I'M IN THE UKRAINE.

THEY SHOULD TAKE A TIP FROM THE
MOROCCAN SISTERS AND WEAR VEILS.

IF THEY LOOK THIS BAD
ON WEDNESDAY

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THEY'LL
LOOK LIKE BY THE WEEKEND?

DWAYNE.

TODAY IS WEDNESDAY?

MM-HMM.

I THOUGHT TODAY
WAS TUESDAY.

I'VE LOST
AN ENTIRE DAY.

I'LL NEVER GET MY PAPER
DONE ON TIME.

I WON'T SAY
I TOLD YOU SO.

BUT YOU DID.

RON, GO READ
A MAGAZINE.

A THICK ONE.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

I GOT IT.

IN THE MORNING,
GO SEE "C-minus".

ALTHOUGH, I WOULDN'T
CALL HIM THAT.

TELL HIM YOU'VE BEEN HELPING THE
CALIFORNIA DIP AT THE CENTER.

HE'S BOUND TO CUT YOU
SOME SLACK.

THAT'S GOOD.

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
BE THE COUNSELOR.

WHEN YOU GO, BORROW A SCARF FROM
ONE OF THESE UKRAINIAN CHICKS.

A CLUTTERED DESK MEANS
A CLUTTERED MIND.

REALLY?

THEN WHAT DOES
YOUR EMPTY DESK MEAN?

YOU OKAY?

NO, I ASKED MY HISTORY TEACHER
FOR AN EXTENSION

AND HE TURNED ME DOWN.

HOW MUCH DO
YOU HAVE LEFT?

JUST THE WRITING.

I'VE DONE THE RESEARCH.

CAN YOU
READ THIS?

"SPEARMINT SUGARLESS GUM?"

NO.

WHAT I WROTE
ON THE OTHER SIDE.

I CAN GET SOMEONE
TO TAKE OVER.

IT'S NOT NECESSARY.

I'VE GOT EVERYTHING...

UNDER CONTROL.

OUTSTANDING
ATTITUDE, DENISE.

YOU'VE GOT A MAJOR PAPER,
BUT YOU BLOW IT OFF.

YOU COME HERE AND
ANSWER EVERY PHONE CALL.

TALK TO EVERY DUDE
WHO COMES THROUGH THE DOOR.

THAT'S MASSIVE
DEDICATION.

IT'S ALSO MASSIVE
STUPIDITY, I KNOW.

ONLY IF YOU'RE HERE TO GET
A DEGREE AT HILLMAN.

I'VE BEEN USING COUNSELLING
AS AN EXCUSE NOT TO DO MY PAPER.

YOU DID THE RESEARCH...

I HAVE ENOUGH RESEARCH
FOR TEN PAPERS.

THE GOOD NEWS IS
YOU ONLY HAVE TO WRITE ONE.

I'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM
WITH PROCRASTINATION

FOR AS LONG AS
I CAN REMEMBER.

WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT?

NO, NOT NOW.

I HAVE A PAPER TO WRITE.

ALL RIGHT.

IF DWAYNE THOUGHT
WE LOOKED BAD BEFORE

HE WOULD BE FREAKING NOW.

THEN WE SHOULD LOOK
LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME.

I DON'T LOOK BAD.

EXCUSE ME, MISS MOOSE?

YOU LOOK SORRY,
DEAL WITH IT.

EVER SINCE I WAS TWO YEARS OLD

IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM
TO BE MISS UGLY AMERICA.

AMERICA WOULD LIKE
TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU.

CAN YOU TELL US
ONE OF YOUR SECRETS?

WELL, JUST BETWEEN YOU
AND ME, BOB

I HAVE A VERY PERSONAL
LAUNDRY TIP.

I PUT MY DRESS SHIELDS
IN THE VEGETABLE CRISPER

AND THEY ABSORB
40 PERCENT MORE.

Maggie:
SOUNDS CHILLING.

THANK YOU, NUMBER FOUR.

NOW, LADIES, FOR
THE SWEAT SUIT COMPETITION.

YOU ARE ALL VERY UGLY.

IT WILL BE A DIFFICULT CHOICE
FOR OUR JUDGES.

HEY, YOU GUYS...

I'M FINISHED!

THE WINNER!

THE WINNER?

YOU ARE MISS UGLY AMERICA!

OH, OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

I'M DEEPLY TOUCHED.

I'D LIKE YOU TO KNOW
THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING.

IF YOU THINK I LOOK BAD NOW,
WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW.

I'M GOING TO LOOK LIKE A DOG.

YOU LOOK
PRETTY BAD.

OH, WHAT THE HEY!

( music )

LET'S GET DOWN!

Maggie:
YOU BETTER DANCE,
YOU UGLY THING.

YOU AREN'T DANCING.

MILLIE, YOU'RE A GEEK.
GET AWAY.

Captioning made possible by
WRIGLEY'S SPEARMINT CHEWING GUM
and NBC.

Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation