90210 (2008–2013): Season 5, Episode 4 - Into the Wild - full transcript

Previously, on 90210...

Don't ever do that again.

Admit you felt something.

I felt something... but now I don't.

Just so you know,

you can't un-feel something.

Close to walking isn't
really walking, is it?

Dixon, the only person that's keeping you

in this chair right now is you.

This contract links you
and Vanessa for three years.

You either have to wait out the
terms or hope she gets hit by a bus.



Your fiancée and business
partner doesn't even exist.

I'd be surprised if
any of us saw her again.

I decided to have a baby

before the BRCA gene surgeries.

First the pregnancy, then the surgeries...

your entire body's about to change.

Most people don't use

these pregnancy gift
cards till they're showing.

I know,

but I kind of want to
remember my body like this.

- Alec kissed me!
- My relationship with Max is

the most important
thing in the world to me.

My marriage to Max is the most

important thing in the world to me.



If I don't tell him,

he'll never be able to trust me.

Just give me time to
do it in the right way.

Well, eat up, girls.

Max gets back from his
business trip in two hours,

and I still have to get a
pedicure and a Brazilian.

Uh, have you told Max
about Alec kissing you,

or is that the reason for the Brazilian?

Well, that's not something
you just blurt out.

It's all about timing.

Which is why,

as soon as Max gets home,

I am whisking him away for
the perfect romantic weekend.

That way when I tell him about the kiss,

he'll say, "who cares,
baby? Look how happy we are""

Oh, speaking of which.

Annie, can you babysit the mansion
while I'm gone for the weekend?

Well, Dixon's out of his wheelchair

and told me to stop babysitting him,

so I am completely free, yeah.

So, Dixon's feeling better?

Yep. That's why we're gonna start
focusing on our careers again.

I'm working on a new song and a video,

and he's working with this

huge promoter for a comeback performance.

Hey! I'm... I'm sorry.

It's just, I recognized
you by your neck tattoo.

Your pictures are incredible.

Here.

Uh... more bread?

Yeah. All right.

What the hell was that?

Oh, he probably recognized
you from your nude photos.

Your what?

You took nude photos?

- And you didn't tell us?
- I didn't tell you,

because they were supposed to be private.

How do you know about them?

More importantly, how
does he know about them?

Well, I can't speak for
the entire service industry,

but the photographer
called me and thanked me

for buying the shoot as a gift.

She put the pictures up on her web site.

She put my pictures online?!

Mm. Don't worry, honey.

They were gorgeous. Very tasteful.

I'm actually thinking of
getting a set done myself

just to put up around the house.

Oh, my God, here they are.

Look at this.

Oh, you look hot!

From the gentleman.

He's gorgeous. Apparently,

the busboy's not your only fan, honey.

"To four beautiful ladies,

from a guy who hates to drink alone."

- Mm.
- I think that's for all of us.

Annie, go talk to him.

But... why me?

Because I am married, and Adrianna

has Dixon, and Silver's
trying to get pregnant.

It kind of

knocks you out of the running.

You're right. My life's
a little complicated

for most guys right now...

not to mention I am
butt-naked on the Internet.

And meanwhile, Annie is so, so alone.

Now, are you going to walk
over there like a big girl,

or am I going to have to make a scene?

No, no, no. I will go

and have a drink with him, that's it.

Champagne, ladies?

- Yeah.
- Can we get some flutes? Yoo-hoo.

Hey, dude. There you are.

Hey.

I have with me the top secret blueprints

for the pop up club at the Offshore.

Oh. Please.

Okay, it's gonna be sweet.

We're gonna enclose the
patio, put up some walls...

and bam!

Transform it into a kick-ass party space.

Hm. Wait. You taking a business class?

Wait, isn't your movie
about to start shooting?

Yeah. Just all this craziness
with Vanessa made me realize

I got to take more control of my life,

so I'm looking into
franchising the Offshore.

Hey, that's brilliant.
Hey, when the club opens,

people are going to be dying to invest.

We're gonna make tons of cash.

Yeah. Unfortunately, the
banks won't give me a loan

until they see that I've written up a
business plan, so that's why I'm taking

- a class... so I don't look like an idiot.
- Okay, so let me show you the deck.

Give me a second. I got
to talk to the teacher.

Hey, Professor Beckwith.

Hey, uh, I just wanted to say thanks again

for taking a look at my contract.

Uh, you were right... I... I need
to take more control of my life,

which is why I signed up for your class.

I know it's a little late in the
semester, but I think I'm all caught up.

Yes, Mr. Court.

I believe I have your first paper here.

An "F"? Are you serious?

I spent, like, three
hours researching this.

Let me guess... Wikipedia?

I... I have a lot going on right now.

Look, I'm sure you're having a great time

hanging around campus,
pretending to be a student,

but it's obvious you're not
serious about your education.

That's not fair. I'm
very serious about this.

This is why I signed up for
your class in the first place.

Liam!

Hi!

Uh... whoa, I'm sorry, do I know you?

I'm Carrie Anne Monroe, your
co-star on Corporate Invaders 2.

We are gonna have so
much fun working together.

Watch out, Brangelina.

- Carrie! Carrie!
- This is exactly

the type of publicity we need for the club.

Welcome home, honey! I missed you so much!

I missed you, too.

What's going on?

Anything exciting happen while I was gone?

Um... exciting? No.

Nothing exciting.

How was work?

Oh, it was exhausting.

But our software's on track
for the December release.

Aah!

- I'm just happy to be home.
- Well, don't get too comfortable.

I have a surprise for you.

I am whisking you away to
a fantasy escape vacation.

- Oh, yeah?
- Okay, I know work has been crazy

and that's why we haven't been
able to have our honeymoon yet,

but I do think it's really
important that we have

some quality time together,
just the two of us.

- You know, I was thinking the exact same thing.
- Okay,

look at this.

We can go sailing,

sunbathing on a tropical island,

hit up a ski resort.

You like that.

Anywhere you want to go.

You know what I'd love to do? Go camping.

Outdoors, like homeless people?

Well, come on, doesn't that sound great?

Come on, alone in the wilderness, huh? Huh?

- H... huh.
- No, I mean, come on, it's...

You know, what better way
to get closer as a couple?

You said I could pick.

Yes, I did.

So...

You know what?

If your fantasy vacation is camping,

then... camping we shall go.

All right.

Mm, all right, you go relax.

I will start handling everything.

All right.

Dixon, I'm home. What up, babe?

How'd your meeting go?

Adrianna.

What a pleasant surprise.

Wow!

Taylor, right?

This is who your meeting was with?

Yeah, yeah. Uh...

remember I was telling you about
my whole comeback performance?

I remembered Navid telling me

how fun it was working with Taylor,

so I decided to give him
a call. Oh, and get this,

the Offshore pop up...

they need an act, and Taylor
said I'd be perfect for it.

Navid is gonna be psyched!

And after I missed your show in Vegas,

I was just determined
to work with one of you.

Oh!

Yo, I just had an idea.

You could work with both of us.

Huh? Like, he could help
with your music video?

- What? Uh...
- No, no, no, babe, seriously.

It's crazy how much he
knows about the business.

Uh... I think I have it covered.

- Mm-hmm.
- Besides, are you a club promoter?

Actually, I've produced
quite a few music videos.

Sort of a Jack-of-all-trades.

I'd love to give my
two cents if you'd like.

See?

Um, yeah, I guess I could use a few tips.

Okay, then.

Taylor, welcome to our lives.

Do you remember me?

I'm the girl whose naked
photos you took and then you

posted them online. How could you do that?

I mean, they're of me naked... I
wasn't gonna show them to anyone!

You signed a release saying that I
could use them for promotional purposes.

I signed what?

It's in my standard paperwork.

All my clients sign it.

I am proud of these photos.

You should be, too.

Okay, look, I'm... I
think you did a great job.

It's just, there are naked
photos of me on the Internet,

and... I can't have them popping up

whenever I go in for job interviews.

I'll take them down right away.

Okay. Thank you.

Sorry if I was... freaking out.

Unfortunately, I can't guarantee
that they're not gonna pop up

on some other web site.

Once something this popular hits the web,

it's kind of hard to make it disappear.

Hey. You going on some
kind of fashion safari?

Max wants to go camping,

and I decided to give him what he wants.

Trust me, after a weekend

of jungle sex, he won't bat an
eye when I tell him about Alec.

You look nice. Did you go on a date

with that guy from the restaurant?

His name is Colin, and no,
we did not go on a date.

He just moved here, so
I was showing him around.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, fine, he's great.

And he has all these amazing stories

about traveling to foreign countries.

Oh, and get this... he's a
computer geek just like Max.

Oh, my gosh. Computer geeks are awesome!

You'd be amazed at what other
special talents they possess.

Still, I don't think
I'm gonna see him again.

The thought of dating someone right now

just totally stresses me out.

Speaking of stress...

are you okay?

Well, Katie took my pictures
off her site... unfortunately,

they're so "popular" that they're
now plastered all over the web.

- Mm.
- Does Max know some way

to, like, scrub them off the Internet?

He's at work right now. And frankly,

I want him focusing on me,
not your naked pictures.

Right.

Hey, what are you doing with my phone?

Hello, Colin. This is Naomi Clark-Miller,

Annie's best friend in the whole world.

We're having a little
bit of a computer crisis,

and Annie was wondering
if you could drop by.

- I was not.
- That is fantastic.

I'll text you the address.

Pleasure talking to you, too. Ta ta.

- I can't believe you.
- Is Colin the guy from the restaurant?

Yes, and he's the
perfect person to help you

with your problem. Meanwhile, Annie

gets to hang out with him

without the pressure
of another actual date.

Win-win.

Dude...

28 steps up from the parking lot.

I never bothered to count before, but damn.

Hey, why didn't you call me?
I could've met you down there.

Hey, have a seat.

No, no, no. I'm fine.

I just wanted to see how this place

- was shaping up.
- Yeah.

It looks good, man. Thanks.

Yeah, I've been killing
myself with this opening.

Still can't decide whether
I'm doing trance or techno.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Taylor didn't tell you?

- No.
- It's all covered, man.

I'm your opening act.

Wait, what?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we talked
about it all day yesterday.

I mean, it's cool with you, right?

No, no, I just, uh, I wasn't
sure if you were up for it.

I mean, you can barely
make it up the steps.

Dude, I'm not performing on a treadmill.

Look, don't worry. I'm fine,
okay? Besides, I wanted to

talk to you about equipment and a playlist.

- See what you like, you know?
- Yeah.

Hey, Navid, did you move the
stuff out of my storage room?

Max and Naomi are going
camping this weekend

- and they want to borrow a sleeping bag.
- No.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Naomi's going camping?

Okay, this is something I got to see.

Man, camping sounds fantastic right now.

I would kill for some time away.

Time away from what? You're a movie star.

Uh, how about my co-star is
texting me every 15 minutes.

I literally can't get away from her.

Like, her standing in
your doorway half-naked?

Liam, I have been waiting
forever for you to get home.

What the hell are you doing here?

I thought we could let
the paparazzi "catch" us

hanging out together.

You know, give them
something to write about.

Like how we spent the
day sunbathing topless.

Dude, I would kill to have your
life for, like, five minutes.

Okay, that's it. I'm going camping.

- Isn't this amazing?
- Who knew the wilderness could be so...

wild.

- Hey.
- Hi.

You know, honestly, I
was a little surprised

you were okay with this.

Oh, you know me.

I'm up for anything that brings us closer.

- Oh.
- Ooh. Watch your step.

I think the campsite's
up around the corner.

- All right.
- Okay.

Ta-da!

Your bag, ma'am?

Can you believe I found this place?

May I help you, sir?

This is gonna be so much better

than sleeping in the dirt.

- We have...
- This way.

A masseuse, a personal chef,

a full time waitstaff.

Which means...

we get to spend the entire weekend...

enjoying each other's company.

Yeah, it's just, uh...

it's very different from what I expected.

Baby...

we are going to have the
most romantic weekend ever,

I promise.

All right, so I'm setting up
a computer program to crawl

the web and remove any trace

of your photos. It's kind of like a virus,

but for good instead of evil.

Thanks so much, Colin. You're a lifesaver.

Yeah, thank you.

This is way more interesting
than the programming

I usually do. It's very James Bond.

If we get attacked by double agents,

I'm expecting you girls to protect me.

If that's what it takes to
get my pictures off the web,

I will seriously kick some ass.

Hey, look at the bright side. Look at some

of these comments... "Gorgeous body."

"This is the most beautiful
woman I've ever seen."

Not to mention how many
people retweeted your photos.

Really? How many?

Uh, I'd say around 20,000 hits.

- Oh.
- You're borderline viral.

Okay,

it does not suck to be called beautiful.

- Yeah, I guess.
- Look, everyone

has an online presence
these days... it's like

your past is an open book. You
meet someone, you Google them.

That's how I found out
about you and that priest.

- What?
- Yeah, you guys did some

kind of charity together? Sounds fantastic.

That, yeah, that, uh, was great.

It was great.

Well, looks like my job here is done.

I also fix plumbing, repair
roofs, and change tires.

If you guys have any
more problems, just, uh,

give me a call.

- Thank you so much.
- No, it was a pleasure, meeting you.

You, too. And, uh, Annie,

thank you so much for showing
me around town yesterday.

I'd love to repay the favor
by taking you to dinner.

Oh, I'm, I'm sorry.

I'm actually seeing somebody.

It kind of new, which is probably why

- it's not online yet.
- Of course.

I should've known. You're
too pretty to be single.

Well, if anything changes,
you have my number.

Why did you lie to that
amazing looking man?

I don't want to talk about it.

Um, hey, has Taylor stopped by?

He said he wanted to go over a few things

for my music video.

Backyard.

Cool. Thanks.

Uh, okay, why are there stripper poles?

They are for your new music video.

- Thanks.
- Are you kidding me?

I know exactly what you're doing.

I told you I slept with you in Vegas

because I though Dixon
and I weren't together.

It's not gonna happen again.

No matter how hard you try to worm your way

back into my life and seduce me.

I'm not trying to seduce you.

I want you to seduce me.
Professionally, I mean.

- What are you talking about?
- It's my job to sell you to the public.

If you want to further your career,

you have to sex up your image.

So this is about work?

Yeah.

I have a pole dancing instructor

coming to whip you into shape.

Now trust me, I have no problem

keeping our relationship
professional, do you?

Of course not.

- I can totally keep this professional.
- Great.

Great. I'll be back for a dress rehearsal

and then we'll see where we stand.

Oh, and by the way, if
I wanted to seduce you,

you would've been naked in
that pool five minutes ago.

Can't believe you made it on this trip.

Sure you're not pushing yourself too hard?

Yeah. I got it.

- No, I'm good.
- No...

- Dude.
- Let go. I got it.

This is exactly why I came.

I'm tired of this whole accident

- holding me back, you know?
- Yeah.

Besides, we can use this weekend

to talk about how we
gonna shut the club down.

Yeah.

Oh, finally...

some peace and quiet.

I'll figure out what to do
about the class I'm taking.

You know, my life is incredibly
complicated right now.

You'd think the teacher
would just cut me some slack.

Yeah, dude, you are doing
as much as you can, right?

She should just help a brother out.

- Exactly.
- Or on the other hand,

she can't give you special
treatment just because

you're a celebrity. I mean,

that would be unfair to the real students.

No, I meant "other", other students.

I'm just saying special treatment

causes a lot of problems.

Well, he has a point.

Okay, apparently all we
have is six cans of chili.

Anybody got a pot?

- Or a can opener?
- Wait.

You said you're bringing everything.

No worries. I'll just call my, uh,

agent's assistant to
run us up a few things.

Whoa, whoa. Whoa.

What? You're calling
your agent for a delivery?

So that's what you meant

- by roughing it.
- No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.

I actually think I like this new Liam.

It used to be he wouldn't
take help from anyone.

Now he's all, uh,

I have to call my people
to have 'em deliver

some slippers and a pizza.

I get it. I get it.

Apparently no one takes
me seriously anymore.

You know what? That's fine.
I don't need to call for help.

I'll just open these cans with a knife.

Or a rock.

Hey...

you two fine outdoorsman
want to set up the tent

while I look for firewood?

- Let's go.
- No, I got this.
- No, no, no.

Mmm. Isn't this fantastic?

Just the two of us enjoying
each other's company.

Are you sure you don't
want a massage, honey?

There's just something about
lying naked next to my wife

while two strangers touch us
that kind of creeps me out.

Maybe you'd like the hot mud bath better.

Or we could do a wine tasting.

Deeper, please.

Hey, uh, did you know this
place has a ropes course?

Max...

if you want to get kinky
with some ropes, I'm all in.

No, it's a, it's like an obstacle course

with rope ladders and bridges, and...

it says, "promotes cooperation,
team work and trust."

Hmm.

That sound fun?

Not as fun as what I was suggesting.

But fine.

If that's what it takes to give
you the perfect weekend then...

- we'll do a ropes course.
- All right.

Thank you.

Hey, guys, sorry it took me so long.

I had to go all the way
to the creek bed to find...

Navid?

Dixon?

So, yeah, man, I was like,
this isn't background music.

Dixon Wilson is back.

Sorry.

Yeah, let's definitely spend the money

on the speakers. Like, I want to

shake the whole place down
to the ground, you know?

My bad.

- Hey, I can handle this.
- Oh, no, it's cool.

I got... I got this.

Dawg, I'm fine. Relax.

Dude, you're not fine, okay?

You're getting better,

but you're not 100%.

Dude, you can't even put up a tent.

Which means you're not ready.

You're not ready to open my club.

I'm not r...

I'm a DJ, I'm not trying
to earn a merit badge.

Do you have any idea how
much I have riding on this?

I've got one shot to make a name

for myself and I have to
knock it out of the park.

A guy in a leg brace does not
scream kick-ass opening act.

So that's it? I'm out?

Look, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry it has to be this way,
but maybe in a couple months...

Maybe in a couple months?

You know what?

Maybe since I'm so disabled,

I should just go home, huh?

Come on. Hey, hey, hey.

I'm not saying that you have to leave...

Think I want to walk
in these stupid things?

Huh?

Have my whole life turned upside down?

You know what, man?

I thought you were my friend. My bad.

Dixon...

what are you doing?

Dixon, if you take the car,

how are Liam and I supposed to get home?

Well, uh, unlike me, you guys can walk.

Dixon, get out the car.

Enjoy the woods.

Dixon, hey, hey.

Stop playing, man.

Dixon, hey!

On, come on, come on, work,
work, work, work, work.

Oh, come on, come on.

Hello, hello.

Liam, it's Carrie.

I have been looking all over for you.

There's this huge party up on Melrose...

Yeah, yeah, Liam's not here.

- Where is he?
- Uh, I don't know.

Look, I have been trying
for the past half hour

to get cell phone reception.

We were camping near Bodhi Mountain resort,

and our so-called friend

stole our car, and, and I had...

Hello?

Hello? What?

Is that Naomi's glamp-site?

Oh, thank God.

Holy crap.

Oh, don't worry, you'll be fine.

The ropes course is a piece of cake.

The rope course?

You're Ryan Lochte.

You're standing in front of me,
shimmering like a gold medal.

And that's scary, yeah.

Yeah, seriously, I would
love to race Phelps on that.

Let's go, babe.

I thought your mom said
you didn't have time

- for a girlfriend.
- I don't, but does she look unhappy?

I'm so happy.

Okay, Naomi.

- I love you.
- Yeah, he's a God, all right,

so let's quit stalling and let's do this.

FYI, wearing a blindfold does not inspire

trust or confidence.

Just follow my voice.

Come on.

Stick your foot out, come on.

You got it.

It's r... put...

Oh. There you are, there
you are, there you are.

- One foot in front of the other.
- Okay, okay.

Yeah, uh-huh.

You see?

Okay.

We can get through anything together.

Uh-huh.

You got it, there you go.

- Oh, okay, oh, oh.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Naomi, don't grab that.

You're gonna throw us off balance.

In case you haven't noticed, I am

a little off balance already.

- No, no, no, honey, you have to let...
- Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

That sucked!

Honey, it wouldn't have happened

if you'd just trusted me.

No, it wouldn't have happened

if you hadn't had us do
this stupid rope course!

I wanted to have a calm, happy,

perfect, relaxed weekend

so that we could get closer as
a couple, not play boot camp.

Thanks.

You're seriously going to do this?

Yeah, it's for work and I'm professional.

I'm gonna dance the hell out of that pole.

You mean like this?

Oh, yeah, baby, like it like this.

- No.
- Just so we're clear,

that's not even close to what we're doing.

Sorry.

They're subbing as my backup dancers.

Pole dancing doesn't have to be sleazy.

You know, people use it for exercise

or to build self-esteem.

How does one build self-esteem
pole dancing exactly?

Do you want to feel sexy?

Try dancing in front of a live audience.

Trust me, there is nothing like it.

You girls ready to get going?

20,000 people have already seen me naked.

Why the hell not?

Ha.

Come on, Annie,

don't you want to learn some new moves

for your pretend boyfriend?

Wait, you have a pretend boyfriend?

Well, the cute guy from
the restaurant asked me out,

and so I said I was in a relationship.

Okay, well, that's not going to stop him

'cause guys don't care if
you're in a relationship.

To them it's just this big game,

and that's why it's up to us

to show them who's in control.

W... whoa,

where did that come from?

No idea.

Forecast... plenty of
sunshine through today with...

Navid, what are you doing here?

Short version?

Liam took us camping, then
disappeared into the woods,

and Dixon took off with our car.

How's your day going?

Not great.

- Has Max been here?
- Haven't seen him.

Oh, I... I left Liam a
note so he can meet me here,

we can take a cab back into town.

He should be here any minute so
we don't... ruin your weekend.

Trust me, it's already ruined.

I have to tell Max something horrible,

and I tried to create the perfect moment

so that he doesn't get angry at me,

but instead I just made it so much worse.

Yeah, there's no perfect
time to give bad news.

Today I had to tell Dixon
that he couldn't open my club,

and, and maybe I could have been nicer,

but it still would have ruined our weekend.

I know people say

honesty is the best
policy, but most of the time

you just end up wishing
you kept your mouth shut.

You might know me as Maggie

from Maggie, don't you
know? Felicity from...

Like now.

And I was just named...

Is that my tent?

Yeah.

I cannot believe that
Liam Court, my co-star

from Corporate Invaders 2,

is lost in the woods,
which is why I am here

to oversee every stage
of the rescue effort.

I can get a copy of
that for my reel, right?

- Thank you.
- Excuse me.

Uh, what are you doing here?

I am so glad Liam finally
jumped on the publicity train.

Where is he, at a bar somewhere?

No, Liam is not at a bar and he's not

lost in the woods, okay?

H... he went to get firewood.

How long ago was that?

I don't know, like, three hours ago?

Oh, my God, he probably is lost.

Why are actors so freaking flaky?

- Where did you last see him?
- At our campsite

a couple miles down the
road. Where are you going?

I'm going to find your
stupid little boyfriend

before he gets eaten by a bear.

Good idea.

You made it.

Ready for dress rehearsal?

I can't wait to get your
professional opinion.

Oh, hey, do you mind sitting in the chair

so that I can mark my performance?

Okay, I believe the story is,

I meet a stranger in a bar,

he comes back to my place,

I change into something a
little bit more comfortable.

And then I put on some music.

♪ you flash a smile, you think I'll fall ♪

♪ you push me back against the wall ♪

♪ the time has come to pay or play ♪

♪ but I slip away

♪ do you want to touch me now?

♪ Like that, like this ♪

♪ do you hunger for my kiss?

♪ My neck, my mouth ♪

♪ I've been down and all around ♪

♪ you know you do ♪

♪ it's a game you're gonna lose ♪

♪ 'cause, baby, when you
look straight into my eyes ♪

♪ I've got you with a
spell, you're hynotized ♪

♪ don't try to run away
or tell me your lies ♪

♪ so, baby, give in

♪ 'cause I'm a snake charmer ♪

♪ try to pretend you're chill, so cool ♪

♪ inow k type, I'm not a fool ♪

♪ you only want what you can't get ♪

♪ no, no, not yet

♪ do you want to touch me now?

You really showed me how
unprofessional I'm feeling.

Of course, I already knew that.

I wanted to prove you felt the same way.

I have to go.

So,

we erased your nude photos,
did a little pole dance,

dinner and a movie.

I think we've had a pretty full day.

Am I missing anything?

Hmm, how about, why you lied to Colin

about having a boyfriend?

Look,

Colin is great, but if we started dating,

eventually I would have to
tell him that I dated a priest,

and before that I was
essentially a prostitute.

Who wants to be with someone like that?

I'm damaged goods.

Are you kidding me?

How's this for damaged goods?

I took those photos

because I'm about to
have a baby with a gay guy

and then have my breasts
surgically removed.

That's like a 100% chance no one's going

to ever find me attractive again.

No, it is not.

Whose online dating profile

would get more hits...
ex-hooker or a single teen mom?

- Hmm.
- Part of me wishes

I would have left those nude photos online.

I mean, you were right,

being called beautiful didn't totally suck.

Yeah, neither did being
asked out by a cute guy.

So maybe you say yes,

and then if things go well and he happens

to find out about your past later,

then hopefully he can deal.

But for now why don't
we just enjoy ourselves?

You're right.

I mean, if I'm too pretty to be single

and your body is a work of art,

then who are we to tell
people that they're wrong?

Oh, come on, come on, come on.

Need a hand with that?

What are you doing here?

How did you find me?

I grew up hunting and fishing in Montana.

I know how to take care of myself.

But let's go.

I got a flock of reporters
waiting to hear how

I rescued you from certain death.

I would rather die in the woods.

I came out here to get away from
all your crazy publicity stunts,

and what happens?

I get lost like some over-privileged jerk.

You know what your problem is?

Your movie career just fell into your lap.

I have busted my ass for six years

to get to where I am,
and these publicity stunts

are going to make our movie more successful

and land us our next acting jobs.

Unlike you, I don't sit around

expecting life to hand me things.

Wait.

You're right. I...

practically had to be dragged
into being a model and an actor.

And maybe I got a little lazy.

Started taking things for granted.

But I didn't used to be like this.

I... I know how to get things done.

Just not campfires.

About this publicity thing...

if I... if I play along,

can we just take it down a notch?

I... I got to have a
little sanity in my life.

Maybe. Depends on how good your acting is.

It'll look better for the cameras.

Max.

I've been looking all over for you.

I wanted to apologize.

I was trying to make this
whole weekend perfect,

and then, I almost ruined it.

Look, I know that you think

that this ropes course is silly.

I just think that it's important for you

to be able to trust me.

To know that I'm gonna be
there for you, no matter what.

Come on up here.

Ah.

There we go.

Oh. Well, what are you doing?

I want you to fall backwards into my arms.

Oh.

From up here? No.

- Come on.
- No. Are you crazy?!

You don't have to worry.
I'm gonna catch you.

Okay.

Turn around. It's okay.

Take it easy.

Okay, okay, okay. This is terrifying.

I know. Honey,

look at me.

Just trust me.

I'm ready when you're ready.

Okay.

Okay?

Uh-huh. Okay.

- Oh.
- I got you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, you did it!

Yeah. We did it!

Yeah. I'm not gonna let you fall.

Oh!

Mmm.

This is it.

This is my perfect moment.

This is what I wanted
this whole weekend for.

Now I know nothing can
ever come between us.

What is it?

Is there something you want to tell me?

Why would I ruin a
perfect moment by talking?

Naomi...

I know about the kiss.

You what?

What are you doing?

Alec trusted me enough
to tell me the truth.

And you didn't.

You're back!

- Hey.
- Hi.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Uh, hey. Hi.

Uh, what... what brought this on?

Oh, I just missed you so much.

Okay, so I... I'm guessing
the video shoot went well.

It was just a dress rehearsal.

Well, whatever it was... I
mean, the outfit, the attitude...

- it's working for you.
- Mm-hmm.

And it's working for me, too.

Yeah.

Remind me to thank Taylor later.

You know what? It's, um, getting late.

We should go to sleep.

We can talk more in the morning.

Wait...

The camp people told me you
got a ride back into town.

I was afraid I wouldn't find you here.

Why didn't you just
tell me the truth, Naomi?

Max, Alec set me up.

He kissed me, and had
someone take photos of us.

I know that.

He... he was trying to prove

that you had cheated on me once,
and that you would do it again.

He said that you would
never tell me about the kiss.

I said he was wrong.

I was going to tell you, I swear to God.

I was waiting for the perfect moment,

and it never came.

I spent the entire weekend
trying to get you to trust me.

What are you so afraid of?

Well, why should you believe me, Max?

You know, Alec is right.

I mean, I've done
horrible, horrible things.

So, why should you ever trust me again?

Well, 'cause I kind of thought

that that's what love was all about.

Max, I am sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I promise I will try to do better.

Will you please forgive
me just one more time?

I can't lose you.

I can't.

You really hurt me, Naomi.

I don't...

I don't know if we can go
back to the way we were before.

I rewrote my paper.

No Wikipedia.

Stayed up all night.

Really?

I thought you spent your weekend
being rescued by your costar.

All right, look, I know you don't think

I'm serious about your class,

or anything, really,

but succeeding here is important to me,

and I'm going to work hard
to make sure that happens.

I have students in my
class that work full-time

to put themselves through school,

yet they managed to turn in
fully-researched papers on time.

Still, here you are, asking
for special treatment.

I just want a chance.

I already gave you a chance.

And I gave you an "F" on this report.

- Hey!
- What did you think?

That you were just gonna flash that smile,

and I'd swoon like some moon-eyed groupie?

As of right now, you're failing my class.

Feel free to drop out at any point.

Just finish this side,

and we need one more coat, and

you're good to do.

Appreciate it.

Hey.

You made it.

Uh... Dixon I wanted to talk to you.

I'm just dropping off the keys, man.

Dixon, about yesterday.

When that actress showed
up, I realized that sometimes

I don't think before I speak,
and I just... I ruin everything.

And, hey, I don't want you to think

that this was anything personal.

It was just a business decision.

Yeah.

Yeah, no sweat.

Really? 'Cause, dude, you have no idea...

I spoke to Liam this
morning. Seems he'd love

for me to open this club.

Liam owns this bar, not you,

which means you lose.

It was just a business decision.

I hope we can still be friends.

Hey, sweetie.

I was just thinking about you.

Excuse me?

Do you know where I can sign up?

I cannot believe I got
to feed a baby tiger!

He was so cute. And all
those baby crocodiles.

How did you know all those
people at the animal reserve?

Oh, I used to volunteer at a
game reserve in Kenya, and plus,

I helped one of those guys

get his nude photos down off the web.

Mm. You are such a liar.

Well, um, that was

maybe the best date ever.

Yeah?

I'm glad things didn't work
out with that other guy.

Me, too.

Good night.

Oh, you're back.

Ah, did you have an actual date with Colin?

Well, looks like you and
Max might have a cool couple

to hang out with after all.

How was your fantasy weekend?

Uh, Max and I...

hit a bit of a speed bump.

But... that's all right.

I'm not gonna let that happen again.