90210 (2008–2013): Season 3, Episode 4 - The Bachelors - full transcript

Well, well, well,
if it isn't Mr. Sanders.

Do you realise in about one hour
this place is gonna be packed

with some of the most incredible,
hard-bodied babes

- from all over Southern California?
- Yeah.

You remember last year's tournament?
This place was one big meat market.

And l am going to do
my shopping early.

A man with a master plan.

Confidence, mon frere,
We make an incredible team.

l'm gonna win this tournament,
you're gonna flash that smile,

- boom, we'll get whoever we want.
- l hope you're right.

lf my eyes don't deceive me,



l see our first customer.

That young damsel
appears to be in distress.

Perhaps l should offer
some assistance.

And they said chivalry was dead.

Hi.

Excuse me.

- Hi.
- Hello there.

l assume you're here to sign up
for the tournament.

Allow me to register you personally.

- Steve Sanders.
- Nikki Witt.

Actually, l'm looking
for my aunt's cabana.

What's that music?

Oh, it's some geekster
rehearsing in his cabana.

Drives everybody nuts.



- Now, about the tournament...
- Great sound.

l'm gonna go check it out.

What about the tournament?

l hate sports.

- Hi.
- Hi.

You really know how to move.

Thank you.

Do you know ''l Want Your Sex''?

- Excuse me?
- The song.

By George Michael.
''l Want Your Sex.''

Oh, yeah, yeah. lt's a great track.

You really remind me of him.

- Of who?
- George Michael.

Oh, thank you.

What was that all about?

l cannot believe you said that.

Oh, come on, you were hot for him,
admit it.

- l was not.
- What was he saying?

lt kind of loses something
in the translation.

English, please.

Why do you guys
have to speak French all the time?

Well, it is the best way
to learn, Donna.

Yeah, right.

Come on, Donna, it's not so hard.

Well, it's easy for you to say.
You don't have a learning disability.

Donna, you're a beginner.

The worst is
someone won't understand you.

- l don't know.
- Come on, give it a try.

What have you got to lose?
Come on.

Oh, wait.

Je voudrais one of those.

ls that okay?

She wants to know
which one you want.

Oh, l'll have--

l mean, je voudrais cette une--

l mean, avec les fraises,

How much is it?

- Come on, let's go.
- No, wait a minute.

l am not stupid.

A person is not an imbecile

because they can't speak
perfect French.

God, l am so sick and tired
of this rudeness.

Je suis American,
and if you don't like it, then too bad.

See, you did it.

Yeah, sure. l tried to buy a pastry
and the woman called me an idiot.

But you understood her,
didn't you, Donna?

Yeah. Yeah, l did, didn't l?

Excuse me.

My employer,
he would like to meet you.

He would?

Do you have any
modelling experience?

- Hey, Dylan.
- Hi.

Didn't expect to see you
in a club volleyball tournament.

lf we don't support Friends of the Bay,
l'm not gonna have anyplace to surf.

- Neither will your baby sister.
- Yeah, or anybody else on the planet.

So you gonna play with Kyle?

No, he's out of town
for the summer, the fink.

- Do you have a partner?
- Nope.

- How about it?
- What?

Yeah.

Sure, but be warned,
l'm better at water sports.

Okay.

l can't believe
l'm getting paid for this.

lf we don't find a couple honeys
in this bunch, we are losers.

Huge.

Mane?

- Name?
- Brooke Alexander.

Sponsor?

Palos Verdes Sea and Sand Club.
Girl's team.

l'd also like to sign up
for mixed doubles.

- Partner?
- l don't have one.

Really? Why not?

Well, l don't wanna
sound conceited,

but frankly, l didn't think anyone
was good enough at Palos Verdes.

l was hoping to pick up
a partner here.

Well, today's your lucky day.

lt just so happens l'm available.

No offence,
but l'm really taking this seriously.

l'm captain of my school's
varsity volleyball team

and l wanna win that trophy.

Then l'm your man.

Samantha Sanders
from Hartley House is your mom?

Well, you must know
a lot of celebrities.

When you grow up
around Hollywood people,

it's not such a big deal.

- Brandon.
- Yeah.

Come here.

Brandon, this is Brooke Alexander,
my new volleyball partner.

This is Brandon Walsh.

How are you, Brooke?
l must say, you lucked out.

Steve's the best volleyball player
in the club.

So l've seen.

Brooke's from Minnesota.
Where, exactly?

St. Paul.

St. Paul? l'm from Minneapolis.

- Do you live here now?
- l moved here four years ago. You?

Two years ago.

- Did you go to Central or Harding?
- Blake.

Blake? l used to play hockey
against Blake.

Then you probably played against
my brother Dan.

Dan Alexander's your brother?

My God, this kid was awesome.

- He went to Dartmouth, didn't he?
- Yeah. Yeah, he did.

Listen, l should get going
before the traffic gets crazy.

- Brandon, it was nice to meet you.
- You too.

- l'll see you tomorrow.
- Bright and early.

Okay.

She's fine!

Hands off, Brandon.

Whoa, hey, l was just
admiring your taste.

Let's keep it that way.
l saw her first, remember that.

Buddy, relax.

This whole place is jumping
with babes.

And we're on a roll, remember?

Yeah, l guess you're right.

Besides, man,
l'd never move in on your territory.

Yes, very nice, very nice. Beautiful.

Let's see, Donna. A little bit more.

Beautiful. That's perfect.

Just there. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Okay.

You're beautiful.

You are fantastic.
You are going to be such a big star.

Come.

''P.S., tell David that Donna
hasn't let it all go to her head yet.''

Sounds like Donna's getting
an awful lot of attention this summer.

l know. You think she'll
get her picture in a magazine?

Yeah, and meet a lot of
suave Frenchmen.

Oh, come on, what would she want
with some French guy

when she's got me?

Oh, obviously.

What would she want
with some sexy, talented European

when she could have you
and your stupid music?

Well, believe it or not, Kel,
some people seem to like my music.

Yeah, people who are tone-deaf.

Think what you want.

What? Do you have
some sort of secret admirer?

Maybe l do.

David, is there something
you wanted to tell me here?

No. Look, l gotta go rehearse.

David Silver, you have
something going on, don't you?

No, no, it's just me
and my stupid music.

You're so precious to me

Am l precious to you?

You're so precious to me

Am l precious to you?

You think l can have a copy
of your demo when you're done?

l'd really like to have it.

lt probably won't be finished
for a while,

but if you give me your address,
l'll send it to you.

My boyfriend's band
made a demo tape.

They're called Waste Management.
He's the drummer.

But they burned the master
in protest

when all the record companies
turned it down.

Wouldn't your boyfriend be jealous

if he found out
you were hanging out with me?

No. We have an understanding.

Besides, l think keyboard players
are way hotter than drummers.

ls the bus here yet?

Well, nice of you to join us.

Why wouldn't l?
l've been dying to go to Versailles.

l thought maybe you were
boycotting the programme.

No, l just took a little break,
that's all.

l mean, Pierre finished the portfolio.

Pierre?

How stupid of me, of course you would
be on a first-name basis by now.

- What did she mean by that?
- Donna, she's just jealous.

Donna, there you are.

These came for you.

And whom, pray tell,
could these be from?

Oh, my God. l can't believe it.

Pierre needs me to do
another shoot today.

Needs her?

''There's a car outside
as soon as you are ready.''

Well, ciao, guys.

But you'll miss Versailles. You've been
looking forward to that for weeks.

l know, but c'est la vie,

Yeah.

- Good game.
- Way to go.

- Good job.
- Congratulations.

- Bye.
- See you.

- That was pretty good for a surfer boy.
- Oh, yeah.

What do you wanna do
to celebrate our victory?

l can't. l promised my mom
l'd help her babysit.

lt's her first night out with Mel.
Wanna help?

Sure, why not?

Really? l mean, l could rent a movie
or something.

Yeah. Casablanca, have you seen it?
The original's out on video.

No, l hate black-and-white movies.

What, are you kidding me?
You hate Casablanca?

Actually, l've never seen it.

Then as a friend,
it is my duty to introduce you

to one of the greatest films
ever made.

- Okay.
- All right.

- What's happening here?
- Steve and Brooke are awesome.

- They're winning 1 4 to 3.
- How'd you guys do?

Sweet victory.

Come on, Steve, come on.

Here it comes, here it comes.

- Hey, good game, guys.
- Good game.

Great serving.

All right!

- Looks like we're the team to beat.
- The dynamic duo.

How about a celebration tonight?
This place we all hang out,

the Peach Pit.
Great food, great music.

Sounds like fun.

- Say around 7?
- Sure. Brandon.

Brandon, Steve's talking about
going to this place, the...

Was it the Arm Pit?

- Peach Pit.
- Peach Pit.

Wanna toast our victory?

Sure. l'd love to, if it's okay.

- Yeah, sure, fine.
- Great.

You know, you don't give yourself
enough credit.

You're like some kind of
Renaissance man.

l'm just a sports editor.
lt's nothing special.

Sure it is.

You write and you play hockey
and you have a job.

lt's no big deal.

lt's not.

Now, my friend Steve is a man
of many talents. lsn't that right, dude?

Anything you say, man.

l'm gonna go check out the jukebox.

Thanks a lot, pal.

What?

Don't play dumb.
You're coming on to her.

l am not.

Oh, sure, Mr. Pulitzer Prize.

l'm surprised you didn't bring
those hockey trophies.

Look, Steve, l'm not trying to
come in between you and this girl.

She's your date, and it's obvious
l'm a third wheel here,

so l'm just gonna take off, okay?

No, it's okay. l'm sorry l'm bugging.

l like this girl.

lt's no problem. l'll take off, give you
guys a chance to be alone, okay?

- Yeah, thanks.
- All right.

Where you going?

- l'm beat. l gotta go.
- Oh, we just got here.

Besides, l'm playing Elvis
on the jukebox.

Don't be cruel.

Why, will l get in trouble

with the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Beautiful Girls?

l gotta be at work early.
l really better go.

Oh, okay.

Listen, l'm listed in Palos Verdes.

Why don't you give me
a call sometime?

''Give me a call sometime, ''

All right, l get it.

Brenda's gone, you need a little advice,
so you come to see old Dylan.

The court of last resort.

Come on, man.
l really don't know what to do here.

Hey, your relationship with Steve
is more important than any girl.

Yes, you're right.

But this girl's hard to resist, man.

She's making it obvious
she's not into Steve.

Yeah, but it's like you said, man,
he met her first.

- You gotta respect that.
- l do.

But why is it l finally meet
a beautiful, sane girl who's into me

and l can't even ask her out?

Fine, l'll take a cold shower.

l'm not saying that.

lt's like they say,
all's fair in love and volleyball.

Thanks, Dylan.
This talk has helped me a lot.

l gotta go.

Where you going?

l'm just visiting an old friend.

Oh, come here, Erin.

Sweetie pie.

What? What?

You know, l think she's hungry.

Will you hold her
while l go and get her bottle?

lt's okay. lt's okay.

Kel, l don't know anything
about babies.

Oh, relax, she won't bite.
She doesn't have any teeth.

Hey, hey, hey.

Come here.

What a sweet girl.

lt's okay, it's okay.

Oh, yes, you're a sweet girl,

You got a nice setup here,
you know that?

Can you tell?

Yeah, you got a mom and a dad,

You got a brother, David,
a sister, Kelly.

You like that?

Let me tell you something, though,
you take it from me,

don't let them get too close.

You'll just get burned.

Rule number one,

the only person you can trust
in this world is yourself.

Relax, Brenda. Donna's a big girl.

But you don't know Donna like l do.

l mean, missing Versailles
was one thing,

but a day of shopping?
Now, that's serious.

You know, l can't believe
she missed it

just because she had to run off
to le shoot.

What do you expect?
She's the centre of attention.

She's being fawned over
and admired...

And l hear Pierre's
no slouch himself.

Come on, she is crazy
about her boyfriend.

No, you just don't know Donna.

But l do know Paris.

And l do know older men.

And l do know the modelling scene.

l did a few jobs myself in New York.

So, what does that mean?

lt means that if Donna is as naive
as you say she is,

she's got a rude awakening coming.

You know what, Maggie,
maybe you're right.

l know l'm right.

So do you have
another one of those?

Let's face it, Brenda. Sooner or later,
with the camera or without it,

Monsieur Pierre is going to want
Mademoiselle Donna

to take her clothes off.

These are really good.

Donna, what time is it?

Bren, l'm really sorry to wake you.

The most wonderful thing
happened to me tonight.

Are you okay? What happened?

Oh, yeah. l just bumped my knee.

No, l mean tonight.
What happened with Pierre?

This.

- What is this?
- A contract.

Well, except it's all in French,

which you'll have to help me translate,
but we can just do that tomorrow.

Donna, what kind of contract?

Well, Pierre wants me to sign
with this agency.

He says my type
is really in demand right now.

Donna, wait a second.

You're gonna drop out
of the programme to be a model?

Come on, Bren.
l wasn't doing so well anyway.

l'm really wiped out. Good night.

Donna, this contract is for two years.

Please, it's 3 in the morning.
We'll talk about this tomorrow.

Good night.

What?

Wait a minute.

Are you trying to tell me that you and
Donna still haven't done the nasty?

Keep your voice down.
lt's not that l don't want to.

lt's just that Donna wants to wait
until she's married.

Then what's the problem?

lf this girl Nikki wants it from you,

which personally makes me question
her sanity, then go for it.

But what about Donna?

First of all, Donna may wanna be
a virgin until she's married,

but finally, when she decides to do it,

she's not gonna want
some inexperienced bozo.

And second,
Donna is in Paris, remember?

She probably got French dudes
crawling all over her.

No, Donna wouldn't do that.

Would she?

Trust me.

While the cat is away,
the mice will play.

Steve, game time.

Excuse me, lame-o.

l've got some scoring
of my own to do.

Hey.

Hi.

l just wanted to tell you thanks for
keeping me company last night.

Anytime, sweetheart.

Hey, guys.

Prepare to meet your doom.

Something tells me
our winning streak

- may have just come to an end.
- Yeah.

- That's a nice move, can l use that?
- You're funny.

- You're funny, you know that?
- We got them now.

l want you to play right here.

- Dylan, l wanna play there.
- No, l'm gonna play back there.

You're the front, l'm the back.

- Okay. All right.
- Ready?

All right? l'm ready. Are you ready?

- You ready?
- l'm ready.

Like this. This is ready.

- Yours.
- You playing dodge ball?

- No, l'm not.
- Right here. This is where you stand.

When they come to you,
hit it back over, okay?

- All right, baby. l got it.
- l got it. l got it.

- l got it. Look out.
- Dylan, okay.

- Get it. Get it.
- Fine.

- You are smooth.
- You. You're good, you're gifted.

Tremendous.

- Yes! Yes.
- All right.

All right.

- You keep shopping. You're good at it.
- Shut up.

Better stick to surfing, dude.

Sure looks like
l chose the right partner.

You better believe it.
We're practically in the finals.

Where l come from,
it ain't over till it's over.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean we can't
have our own private celebration.

My mom's out of town,

and l just happen to know
where she stashes the Dom Perignon.

Steve,

you're a great guy, you really are.

And l like you.

As a friend.

- l don't wanna hurt your feelings.
- No, it's okay.

l get the picture.

lt's Brandon, isn't it?

Steve.

l'll see you at the finals.

What, are you mad at me?

Donna, l'm not even sure
l know you anymore.

You are so dramatic.

l'm dramatic?

You're running away
to become a French model

and l'm dramatic?

Come on, Brenda. This is the
most exciting thing l've ever done.

Can't you at least be happy for me?

Happy?

Happy that you're dropping out?

That you're not even gonna graduate
high school? Donna, l'm in shock.

l'll do it eventually.

l can take the proficiency test
or something.

Your parents are never
gonna let you do this.

Well, you've done things
your parents haven't approved of.

Donna, you hate it here.

All l've been hearing is how
you're never gonna learn French,

and now you wanna live here?

Not just here.
Some girls get to go all over Europe,

and l can earn a lot of money.

You have money.

Not my own that l earn myself.

Don't you understand, Brenda?

l can be more than the dummy who
can't keep up with her smart friends.

This is my chance to stand out,
to achieve something.

And what about David?

Or doesn't he matter,
now that Pierre is interested in you?

Pierre is interested in me
professionally, not romantically.

Give him time.

Brenda, he's married
and has two kids.

l've seen the pictures.

Donna, l hate to say this,
but that didn't stop your parents.

You know, you must be really jealous
of what's happening to me

to throw that in my face.

l'm sorry.

l just don't wanna see you get hurt.

Well, it's too late. You already have.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hey, these are my parents.
Jim and Cindy Walsh,

this is Brooke Alexander,
fellow Minnesotan.

- Hey, very nice.
- Nice to meet you.

You've got a very industrious son.

Well, he takes after his old man.

Come on, old man. Let's get you out
of the sun before your brain addles.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye, guys.

You didn't call me last night.

Yeah, well, l crashed out pretty early.

What time do you get off, anyway?

Whenever l'm done, usually about 7.

You wanna take a drive
up the coast afterwards?

l would really like to,

but Steve is my best friend,
and he really likes you.

But l don't like him.
l mean, not in that way.

So fine.

You won't go out with me
and l won't go out with him,

and we'll all be unhappy.

How's that sound?

Terrible.

Don't worry about Steve, okay?

l told him l wasn't interested
in dating him.

So how about that drive?

l think that'd be nice.

Kelly, Kelly, wait up.

Look, l can explain, okay?

ls that your secret admirer, David?

Does she know you have a girlfriend?

You're the one who told me about
the French guys Donna's hanging with.

l didn't mean for you to jump in the sack
with the next tramp who came along.

She's not a tramp.
Her name is Nikki.

l know this may be hard
for you to believe,

but she thinks l'm sexy.

Do you wanna know
what sexy is, David?

Sexy is a guy who can go
three weeks

without being unfaithful
to his girlfriend.

You know, you have a lot to learn
about women, David.

No, no, no. Hey, allow me.

- How gallant.
- Yeah, well...

l had a great time.

So did l.

Well, this is a first.

Most of the time l have to
wrench guys away with a crowbar.

l bet you do.

lt's just a little weird, that's all.

You know what l think?

l think that you and Steve
should go out together.

- Come on.
- l'm serious.

You two would look great together.
He's a great volleyball player,

and his mom's away
for the weekend.

Will you shut up already?

That man over there with the
black shirt, he is Christophe LeConte.

He is the head of the agency,
so act like you know who he is.

Everyone else,
you can yawn in their face,

or even step on their toes,
but not him.

Pierre, do you think
we can go somewhere

and talk for a few minutes,
just the two of us?

After the party.

Do you want me to take Donna
to her hotel?

l will take her.

Pierre, it's late.

Pierre.

Au revoir, Yvonne.

Would you like something to eat,
to drink?

- A little wine?
- No, you go ahead.

lt was very nice of you
to have this party for me, Pierre.

Nice has nothing to do with it.

This is business.

You may very well
be the next big sensation.

And l will have discovered you.

But l'm not nearly as pretty
as the other models.

l have told you, beauty
is a state of mind, n'est-ce pas?

What, you don't like your portfolio?

But when l pose for you,
you make me feel beautiful.

Donna,

there is something fabulous
that happens in a young girl

in that fleeting moment
when she becomes a woman.

And you are on the brink
of this transformation.

And l feel honoured to be here
to witness it.

l'm so grateful for your faith in me,
but l don't know if l can--

l will help you.

That's what l am here for.

Look, l think you're getting
a little too close.

Pierre, l have a boyfriend.

And l know that you have a wife.

And neither of them are here.

Stop, okay?

You said tonight
was about business.

l don't think there's anything
in that contract about this.

Cherie, you must read
between the lines.

Go home, baby.

l'm not a baby.

But you are.

You are just not,
apparently, my baby.

Unless perhaps
a good night's sleep in your crib

will help you change your mind.

Do you realise
what you're throwing away?

Donna, don't be stupid.

Hi.

Hi.

Look, Donna, l am really sorry.

No, Brenda.

You were right.

He made a pass at me,
just like you said.

So l had to do it.

- You did?
- Yeah.

l threw wine on him.

- You did?
- Yeah.

Red wine too.

So l guess now l have to go back
to being plain old ordinary me, huh?

Donna, believe me,
you will never be ordinary.

You're a very unusual girl.

Yeah, unusually dense.

You know, you don't give yourself
enough credit.

Look how far you've come.

You have an incredible portfolio
of beautiful pictures.

Your French is getting better
every single day.

And you stood up to someone who
was trying to take advantage of you,

all by yourself.

Brenda, merci beaucoup,

l love you too.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hope you haven't
been waiting too long.

Now that you're here,
it was well worth the wait.

We need to talk.

What's the matter?

Look, l haven't been honest
with you.

l have a girlfriend
and she's in Paris for the summer.

So? l have a boyfriend back home,
remember?

Look, if you don't like me anymore,
just tell me, okay?

No, that's not it, l like you a lot.

lt's just, you and your boyfriend
have some sort of arrangement,

and my girlfriend and l don't.

And l just don't feel right
fooling around behind her back.

Especially with someone
l like so much.

The only arrangement
my boyfriend and l have

is that he gets to mess around
with anything in spandex

and l get to feel like dirt.

l wish l could find someone like you.

That's nice, but believe me,
l'm no big bargain.

Look, don't worry. You'll find
someone who's right for you.

ln the meantime,

l made you a copy of my demo.
l wanted you to be the first to hear it.

Thanks.

l'm sure it'll be a big hit someday.

- Come on. Let's go, Steve.
- Go, Steve.

Get them, Steve.

Out.

Fourteen serving four.
Game point.

Come on, Steve. Concentrate.

Worry about your own game,
all right?

- Come on.
- Come on.

l got it. l got it.

Steve, l called it.

Game to Frohman and Johanneson.

Rubber match in five minutes.

Look at that, even we could have
beat them today.

What's his problem?

l am.

lt's not worth it to blow
this whole tournament over a girl.

Save it, would you?

l don't need any advice from you
on sports or women, okay?

l may be playing lousy,
but at least l'm playing clean.

You lied, Brandon.

l didn't lie to you, Steve.

You did too. You told me
you wouldn't go after her and you did.

Hey, hey, l didn't go after her.
She came after me.

Now, l'm sorry your feelings got hurt,
but that's the truth.

Look at her. Look at her.

What would you have done
if you were in my shoes, huh?

l'm not gonna kid you, man.
l really like this girl.

But if it bothers you that much,
you just say the word and l'll call it off.

No.

l would've done the same thing.

But you know what hurts, Brandon?

l'm never in your shoes.

Her wanting you instead of me,
it's typical.

l thought maybe this time
l had a chance,

with the volleyball and everything,

but l still lost.

You didn't lose, Steve.

You just didn't get Brooke.

Hey, you're a winner, buddy.

Why don't you go out there
and prove it?

l'm sorry l was such a jerk before.
Let's win this thing.

Let's do it.

Yeah, all right!

Fourteen serving 1 3. Match point.

Come on, come on.

Yes. Yes!

Game and match,
Sanders and Alexander.

All right.

- Great. Good work.
- Thanks.

That was so good. Right on.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

- Excuse me.
- Okay.

Hey, guys.

Party at my house?

Steve, l hope we can be friends.

Well, okay.

You gotta remember one thing,
though. He may have a terrific smile,

but l can wipe him off the court
in volleyball.

Let's go.

Come on, pokey.

You know, l thought l was making
a mistake not going to Paris,

but this summer's turning out okay.

Yeah, it is.

Louie,

l think this is the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.

Kelly.

Check it out.
Donna sent me a postcard.

''Dear David, l've really gotten into the
swing of things here,

and Brenda says my French is even
good enough to go shopping alone.

Love you, miss you. Donna.''

Cool, huh?

She misses me and she loves me.

That's very cool.

l'm really happy for you, David.

Look, l just wanna thank you for
setting me straight on being faithful.

You're a great sister. Thanks.

You're welcome.

Look, get out of here. l gotta change.

- Okay, l'll see you later.
- Okay.