800 Words (2015–2018): Season 1, Episode 6 - Episode #1.6 - full transcript

"Everyone has secrets.

"And when it's all said and done,

"everyone loves finding out
what those secrets are."

Not now, Arlo.

But I need to talk to you.

Is there anything else I should know?

- Not really.
- Then go!

"Except when the secret
is secret only from you."

- You do it?
- Yep.

What did you use to stick it on?

Like, this industrial glue stuff.



Don't worry, that flag isn't
going anywhere in a hurry.

Mmm.

Are you sure?

They're on a compulsory family outing.

- Oh, compulsory?
- Yeah.

For everyone but you.

I do a really good surly teenager,

"I need my space, Dad" routine.

Guess where they're going exploring today.

- Where?
- Weld War Memorial Park.

- The scene of the crime.
- Mmm, poetic.

But you know the best bit?

They'll be gone for hours.

- You let her walk all over you.
- No, I don't.



Yeah, and the tragedy is
you're refusing to see it.

I'm just letting my daughter
have her space, that's all.

OK, that's odd.

Art project, Constable?

Evidence gathering, actually.

The crime being what?

The flag.

Not the lack of the head.

The head was a crime,
just not today's crime,

which is more damn vandalism.

Use what or lose what?

- The head of Sir Frederick Weld?
- Forget about the head.

The head is a very cold case.

It's a bit obscure, isn't
it? Th... the message.

Morning.

So what's this all about, then?

It's about the camping ground.

Everything these days is about
the bloody camping ground.

So you're investigating the
flag, not the missing head?

That would be correct.

I'm more interested in the head actually.

The head is gone, OK?

Yeah, I... I can see that.

Even if Sir Fred here can't.

I mean, as in the case is closed.

- I thought you said it was cold.
- It is. Very.

But cold cases are unsolved, aren't they?

If you wanna do something useful, George,

you can grab my camera
and take a couple of pics.

Helping the police with
their inquiries -- cool.

Make sure you get me in the picture.

Is this for evidence?

And the paper.

So when did the head go missing?

Years ago. And as I keep
saying, it's a cold case.

So cold it's chillier
than a... chilly thing.

OK. Moving on.

- Another one?
- Yeah, can't hurt.

Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no.

Ike. Ike!

I wonder who stole it.

- Oh, yeah, crime of the century.
- Around here it probably is.

It certainly seemed
serious to Constable Tom.

Oh, I think everything's
serious to Constable Tom.

Yeah, which is not a bad trait
in your only police officer.

Hey, how was the, uh, CFO?

It was good. You should have come.

- We stumbled upon a crime scene.
- Really? Awesome.

Some lame protest about
the old folks home.

What was lame about it?

It just didn't really make any sense.

- Hey!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Hey, bro.
- What's up, man?

I was never here.

'Use it or lose it' seems
pretty obvious to me.

How?

Well, it's saying to the people of Weld

that when something precious
is gone, it doesn't come back.

Or something like that anyway.

Whoa, that almost sounded
like you actually cared.

No.

Only me, Turner people.

I, uh, hope I'm not interrupting anything.

Not at all.

We were just discussing the desecration

of the statue of the
good Sir Frederick Weld.

What? Well, why are you
talking about that for?

People stopped talking
about that a long time ago,

so, uh, why are you talking about it now?

- Well, because of the flag.
- The what?

Someone stuck a flag where
the head used to be.

Oh! Right.

Hey, you wanna go for a surf?

It's meant to be primo out there today.

Yeah, sure. Sounds like a plan.

So what's the story, then?

Oh, don't fall off and
just try not to drown.

No, I mean, why is everyone so
antsy about this statue thing?

They're not.

You are. Constable Tom was.

Look, George, I dunno if you've noticed

but Weld's a pretty chill place, OK,

so anything that takes the chill
off, it... it de-chills us.

We just don't go there, alrighty?

Do you hear what I'm saying?

Maybe it's urging the people
of Weld to go camping.

They live here -- why
would they wanna camp here?

I don't know. Holiday?

You're an idiot, Monty.

Maybe it's meant to be a call to arms.

It doesn't matter what it's meant to be,

it's bloody annoying.

Put it on the front page
and write an editorial

about mindless vandalism.

- What, another one?
- Yes.

Can't I just print the last one?

I mean, it's not as if
anyone actually reads it.

- Gentlemen.
- George.

Have you seen this?

- He took it.
- What, not you?

I'm in the photo. How
could I have taken it?

I don't know. Self-timer?

No, really, you set the
camera, set the timer, pose,

voila -- selfie.

What do you make of it, George?

The photo, the flag, or the missing head?

The flag.

Someone isn't keen on your plans.

Yeah, not keen on the word 'plans' --

makes me sound like a Bond villain.

- Schemes?
- Schemes is worse than plans.

- Dreams?
- Dreams.

Dreams I like.

Man of words. See? Excuse me.

- Any leads yet?
- I have my prime suspect.

Just a question of proving it.

Small but important thing, proof.

I'll give you a heads-up
if I hear anything.

Is that a joke?

- Sorry?
- 'Heads' up.

Because it's not funny, George.

Oh, I'm sorry.

We take crime seriously round here.

Especially the desecration of
the bloke Weld's named after.

I'm not trying to offend anyone,
I just find the whole idea

of a statue with a missing
head intriguing, that's all.

Well, maybe what you find
'intriguing', Mr Turner,

some of us feel is a blot on our careers.

Oh, sorry. You were serious.

You lot, sit.

There.

For someone who has, like, the
cruisiest job in the world,

Constable Tom just needs to relax more.

Drag your table over,
George, come join the party.

Dad, you know how annoyed Fiona
gets when you move the tables.

So, what are the celebrations for?

Denis here has an exhibition

in some flash art gallery in Berlin.

Hey, congratulations.

Yeah, I'd rather be driving buses.

Incoming. Be with you in a tick there.

No worries.

Fill your boots, as we say in New Zealand.

What?

That is all the information
-- case notes and so forth --

on the stolen head of Sir
Frederick Aloysius Weld.

And you just happened to
have this with you, right?

Well, I was gonna take it
home and go over it again --

see if there was a link with today --

but seeing as you're so intrigued,

over to you, digger.

Is that legal, giving out evidence?

Well, if it gets it solved,
that's legal enough for me.

Sleeping dogs, Tom.

Well, this dog will sleep a lot easier

when George here cracks it.

You are up for it, right?

Sure. Sure.

It can't hurt to take a look, eh?

Good lad.

- Dad, I'm not sure this is wise.
- Why not?

What Katie said about sleeping
dogs? Did you not hear that?

Yeah, we only just got people to like us.

Do you really want them to
unlike us all over again?

But if I solve this mystery,
everyone will love us.

That depends how many people
you piss off along the way.

- Mmm.
- Begone, ye of little faith.

I've got a crime to solve.

This is a huge problem.

Dad will get obsessed with
this stupid statue, I know it.

And how is that a problem for us?

- He might find out about us.
- Find out about what?

About you and me

or that we've been breaking
the law on a daily basis

in our righteous war
against all things McNamara?

I thought I'd made it clear
that we keep us between us.

I'm sick of this town talking about me.

As for the statue thing,
that was, like, two years ago

so it's got nothing to
do with our protest.

In fact, isn't it good

your dad's getting
obsessed by a missing head?

How?

Because then he's not looking
in the direction of you and me.

True. Very true.

You're not just a pretty face.

You're just worried he'll find out

your deepest, darkest secrets.

No, I'm not. My life
is an open book. Mostly.

Yeah, right.

With just a few small pages
missing here and there, eh.

OK, so there are a few things
I'd rather keep to myself.

Anyway, you should be
worried too, you know.

That was not one of your finest moments.

Mmm, true that. But who cares?

Look at Constable Tom -- he
couldn't find his own arse

with his own two hands and a map.

Yeah. Tom couldn't find a
duck in a room full of ducks.

- Mm-hm.
- But George, I don't know.

There's something about that man
that just makes you want to...

.. tell him things.

Excuse me.

Oh, my God, you've
really got it bad for him.

I have not! Anyway, you can talk.

Yeah, I mean, I'd go there.

I mean, if he was into it.

- He's a hard one to crack.
- Hmm.

Makes it a bit more interesting,
though, don't you think?

Interesting or not, we need
to give him a wide berth

until he's moved on to something else.

Sounds like a plan.

- Hey.
- You're still on the case?

- I've been deputised apparently.
- Oh, lucky you.

Not sure how far I'm going to get, though.

Everyone seems pretty allergic
to the idea of talking about it.

Maybe that's because
there's nothing to tell.

There's always something to tell.

Oh?

Yeah, I found a note in
Constable Tom's evidence box.

Apparently the theft was on
the night of the school play.

- Is that right?
- Oh, yeah, I think it was.

What was the play about?

Ironically, 'The Man with
the Missing Head'. Why?

Oh, just fishing for motives, that's all.

And you think you're going to find it

in the thrilling tale of
Sir Frederick Aloysius Weld?

Well, I don't know. What
was the thrilling tale?

Well, same as every politician in history.

He came, he saw, he stole a bunch of land,

they built a statue.

So certain people might
have had issues with that?

It wasn't about the land.

George, in the end, people
wrote it off as a prank.

Some drunken thing.

Oh, well, I'll let you
get back to it. Thank you.

No worries.

I hear your dad's trying to find
out what happened to our statue.

Your statue?

My family paid for it. Years ago.

I hope he finds out who did
it so they can go to jail.

Yeah, he... he probably won't.

Stink.

Oh, and tell your sister she's a skank.

- What?
- A skank.

Do you have that word in Australia?

Yeah. I know what it means.

Then tell her. From me.

If she's hassling you, just
tell me and I'll sort it.

Nah, she just called my sister a skank.

Talk about takes one to know one.

Yeah, but my sister isn't a skank,

so why would she call her one?

Who knows what goes on in that head, eh?

Why would she call her one, Billy?

Because Lindsay suspects.

Suspects what?

What I suspect you suspect.

Which is what?

That your sister hooked
up with Mr Hangi-pants.

- Ike?
- Yep.

And what does 'hangi-pants' mean?

What do you think?

Nah.

Nah, if... if she was with him, I'd know.

Would you?

Denis.

I was gonna head over
to your place later on.

- Any reason?
- Been out diving again.

- Got you a couple of crays.
- Oh, thanks.

- Guess I saved you a trip, then.
- Yeah, you did.

That's the good thing about us
-- we look after each other.

- If you know what I mean.
- Yeah, I think I do.

Good. Really good.

Because we have a saying --

if you dig too deep in the hangi pit,

then you're never gonna eat your kumara.

I have no idea what that means.

Zac, stop slacking off and
finish this up, will you?

Yeah, yeah.

What was he going on about?

Oh, just something about
kumara and hangi pits.

But apart from that, I
have no idea whatsoever.

- What?
- Never mind. Get back to work.

Hey, I need to ask you about
the night of the school play.

I have nothing to say about that.

Constable Tom had a note
about checking your alibi?

- Yeah. And he did. So?
- And you had one?

I was at the school play

watching my son play a shipwreck survivor.

And the show would've been much
better if he'd been in it more.

What about after the play?

Man, who made you Sherlock Holmes?

Well, Constable Tom, I guess.

We went to the after-show party.

Then we left.

Oh! The alibi.

In the flesh.

Please don't judge me,
it was an emotional night.

What, because of the play or...

It was my birthday and I hate birthdays

and so I had a few at the party

and he caught me in a moment of weakness

because he always does
that -- be there for me

when I need someone -- the bastard.

- It's the power I have over her.
- No, it's not!

I let my guard down and I vowed

that it would never happen again.

And it almost didn't.

The wine, the cheese and the Zac.

You see why I'm not proud
of what happened that night?

Hey! Standing right here, Katie.

Yeah, when you should be loading the van.

Sleeping dogs, George.
You should let them lie.

Yeah, I'm beginning to see that.

I'll remove you from my suspect list.

- You have a suspect list?
- Well, not really.

But, you know, dogs and lying,
and I get it, so I'm sorry.

I'll let you get on with it.

If you want my advice,

forget about statues and think
about things closer to home.

Such as?

It's not my place to say.

Hey, over here, Ike.

Alright, high!

- Why are we watching this?
- We aren't.

Coach always starts practice
with a 15-minute run.

OK, twice around, boys.

Come on, you need to get schooled.

- What are we doing?
- Confirming suspicions.

Hey, how do you know his passcode?

Ike isn't the only techno
genius in my extended whanau.

Plus, I've watched him key
it in, like, a hundred times.

Another thing I know about Ike,

he is the selfie king when it
comes to his lady conquests.

Hey, my sister isn't a conquest.

Jaylene Wallace, two weeks.

Kaylee Summers, almost a month.

And we both know Lindsay.

That was a whole six weeks ago.

Sorry, man.

As much as I love my
half-brother, I know what he is.

You have to warn her.

Well, I think it's good,

this whole Sherlock
routine you've got going.

Really? What happened to
everyone not liking us again?

Screw them. It's good
for you to get involved.

OK, this is a change of tune.

No, it's not.

Shay, you used the words
'get' and 'involved'

in the same sentence.

Does this mean you're
finally liking the place?

Don't get your hopes up.

I just think it's good

you're doing something
other than your column.

And now that you're not in Mum's shadow,

you can do anything you want.

What do you mean? I was never
in your mother's shadow.

Yeah, you were. We all were.

It's no big deal, it's
just the way it was.

And, hey, maybe you should get a job.

I have a job.

A proper job that takes
more than an hour a week.

To keep you busy. Just a thought.

What?

Just 'cause Dad's looking
the wrong way right now

doesn't mean that he won't
find out eventually.

Find out what?

You know.

Whatever it is you think you know,

it's my life, so stay out of it.

With pleasure.

But, um, Dad's not the only one

with no idea what's actually going on.

- Just FYI.
- Get out of my room.

So, what job are you going to do?

I already have a job -- working for you.

George, I know how little I pay you.

Our finances are fine.

The interesting point that I'm making

is Shay suggested I get a job.

Do they have jobs over there?

Listen to me, Shay suggesting
I get a job is a good thing.

- It means she's settling
down here. - Right.

I thought, with teenagers
when they say one thing

they actually mean something
that's totally opposite.

But what would I know? I'm not a mother.

- You look flash.
- Got a date.

Go, you. Anyone I know?

No. What about you?

- What about me?
- You dating over there?

No.

No. I mean, I thought
about it for a second.

- And? - And then I
decided it was too soon.

George, you're not living
in her shadow anymore.

I never lived in her shadow.

Plus, it is too soon.

I have to go on a date now.

I will look forward to 800 words tomorrow.

Good luck.

- You not coming in, mate?
- Nah, not today.

Yeah, nah, it's pretty messy, eh?

Yeah, well, I was waiting
for you, actually.

- Oh, yeah?
- Just wondering about this.

Sounds pretty serious.

- Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
- Yeah.

The thing is, when I was
looking for some paper

to write a list of the
people who might've sent it,

I came across this.

Do you know what this is, Woody?

- Looks like a list.
- Yeah, it is.

It's a list of all the jobs
that need doing around the house.

A list that you wrote up.

Oh, good one, mate. Yeah,
I'll start checking them off.

Woody, it's in the same
writing as the threat.

Hey, did you know that a koala fingerprint

and a human fingerprint
look exactly the same?

So a koala wrote this? Is
that what you're saying?

No, no, I'm just... I'm just saying.

Out of interest.

Woody, who are the good people

that bad things are gonna happen to?

Me. OK, it was me.

I did it. It was me, OK? It was all me.

No-one else was involved.

- So why did you do it?
- It's a long story, George.

Well, where's the head now?

Look, I paddled it out on my board

and I dropped it in the ocean.

- Why?
- That's another long story.

The point is you've got
your guilty party, OK?

So do with me what you will.

I did the crime, alright, I'm
not afraid to do the time.

Oh, and I guess I quit too.

Dammit!

No-one got the flag thing.
They totally missed the point.

Instead they're more worried
about the stupid head.

Yeah, my dad wasn't exactly thrilled.

He had Katie in his ear about it.

People should be thinking about
what's happening here and now.

What?

Man, when you get on board with something,

you really get on board.

What's the point otherwise?

Do you want them turning
this into a building site?

No. No.

Or do you get off on defacing billboards

and other lame stunts?

You think what we've been doing is lame?

I think if we really want
to get people's attention

we need to step it up a gear.

- Alright, how?
- Find something real.

Something that forces them
to take this seriously.

Hey, can you get away tonight?

I'll find a way.

Why?

What happened to keeping a wide berth?

I just wanna know what he found out.

So, Detective Turner,

how goes the quest for
righteous retribution?

It's not a quest. And not well,
although I do have a confession.

- How is that "not well"?
- You didn't hear the confession.

But you do have a confession,
so we won't bother you anymore.

- Is everything alright?
- Yep. All good.

Why? Have you heard something?

- A lot of things actually.
- Was it about me?

Because, you know, you can't believe

everything you hear in this town.

- You know that, right?
- To be perfectly honest,

I have no idea what to believe anymore.

So where were you two the
night the head went missing?

Why is that relevant?

In one of Constable
Tom's notes to himself,

he mentioned you as possible diversions.

Did he, now?

Mmm.

Well, go on, then, George, grill me.

- Hannah! - Grill me like
I'm your prime suspect.

I have no intention of grilling you.

You wanna know where I was

the night that ridiculous
statue's head went missing?

- Yes, I do actually.
- I was here.

With Fiona.

At least to begin with anyway.

Do not do this.

We were having some drinks and
making fun of the school play,

which was actually pretty bad, by the way.

As we were drinking we got talking

and as we talked we both
realised the same thing --

that we were both incredibly horny.

Oh, right.

Hmm, so we resolved to do something

about that tragic state of affairs.

Well, you both have alibis. That's good.

I was going around with
Ross Johnson at the time.

You know, he was always
up for a booty call.

And, anyway, one text, boom, he arrived

and we took off in my car.

Anyway, we were driving along the beach

and the car ran out of petrol,
so we thought, what the hell,

we'll jump in the back
seat, blah, blah, blah.

And then the tide came in
and we kinda didn't realise.

Someone saw the car in the
water and called the cops,

and then also the fire brigade.

- What?!
- G'day, Hannah.

We should probably, uh...

We should probably go.

And the thing was that
whoever called the cops

and the fire brigade also
called the ambulance.

Don't you dare.

And the ambulance was nowhere to be found.

Please, don't judge me.

Actually I don't need to hear
any of this, so I'll just...

The thing is, Robbie, my husband --

my drug-dealing-scumbag ex-husband

which is what I refer to him as now...

Well, back then we... we used to
like to spice things up a bit.

Sometimes we'd take the ambulance out

and we'd park it up and we'd...

.. role-play.

Anyway, Constable Tom had
to go and find the ambulance

and eventually he found the ambulance.

Hello?

What?

Nothing.

Well, that certainly explains
Constable Tom's notes about you.

You look uncomfortable, George.

No, not at all.

'Cause, you know, being
horny isn't a crime, is it?

No, it isn't.

Unless, of course, you use an
ambulance as a mobile brothel.

Oh, for God's sake!

- Can I have another long black?
- No, you can't.

You know, for someone who
is amazingly uptight,

apparently she's a
firecracker in the sack.

Of course, she's not
as good as me, though.

But few are.

So, are you going to make dinner?

Or should we make it?

Right. Yes. Onto it.

I'm starting to think I made a mistake

getting involved in all this.

Because it's lame?

Because it's much more
complicated than I thought.

But you were really into it,
Dad. You can't give up now.

Yeah, but there are far more
important things to worry about

than a missing statue's head.

- Yes, there is.
- Like groceries.

Because there is basically nothing to eat.

Can somebody get that?

If you need to write your column,

- we can manage on our own.
- No, it's OK.

- Tracey.
- Sorry to interrupt.

Not at all.

Wondering if I could have a quick word.

Sure. Just... just come this way.

Actually, having come
all the way over here,

it really would be much easier

if I just took you there and showed you.

Yeah. Yeah, OK.

Just grab some takeaways.

Hey, do you think that's about us?

Why would she come here to talk about us?

- Where are you going?
- None of your business.

Shay, I know about Ike.

- Have you told Dad?
- If I'd told Dad, you'd know.

More to the point, why
haven't you told him?

Because Ike's the thing
keeping me sane here.

Because being with him

is the best thing I've
got going right now.

Because it makes me happy

knowing that he's the thing I've
got that's mine and mine alone.

And I need that one thing, Arlo.

What about his other girlfriends?

I saw on his phone, he has photos of them.

Lindsay McNamara, for starters.

How did you see Ike's phone?

Long story. I-I just did.

And I also saw that photo of
you and him together in bed.

Bullshit. You're lying.

Why would I be lying?

I just... I don't want him
to hurt you, that's all.

Do you need wine? I need wine.

So I suppose you wanna
hear how it all happened.

Oh, very much so. But
will Woody be joining us?

I recognise his thongs.

He's not very happy I'm doing this.

He's a writer, OK? You can't trust him!

They steal lives!

Woody, just come out.

Look, just... just hang on, OK?

You don't have to do this. George.

You're not taking the
blame for something I did.

You were the one who took
the head off the statue?

The night of the school play.

What...

Well, I heard it was dire but...

The play which I wrote!

And which the kids loved,

even if the reviews were... mixed.

Sorry.

And it was a great night.

The staff dressed up to
celebrate the history of Weld.

I went as Filumena, Mrs Weld,
mother to his 13 children.

And Bevan was my Frederick.

He was Frederick because
he was the principal?

No, he was my Fred because
we were a couple back then.

I followed Bevan from Melbourne
when he got the principal job.

Oh, OK.

- Like the idiot I was.
- No.

You weren't an idiot then
and you're not an idiot now.

Thanks, Woody, but I was. I was
the only one who didn't know.

- I didn't know.
- I don't know.

- The only one at the school.
- Would know what?

About Celia.

Celia McNamara?

Well, she was that night,

which was entirely appropriate

when I caught them at the afterparty.

Penny the receptionist?

Or Penny the slut as I call her.

Apparently they'd been at it for months.

And not just on his desk.

But I didn't hang around for explanations.

I don't even know how
I ended up at the park.

I just did.

And when I got there, he was
there, looking down at me

with his smug face and
his stupid mutton-chops.

And all I wanted to do was wipe
that smug look off Bevan's face.

And I did -- literally.

And then someone saved me.

I would've got there sooner,

but she was moving so fast

for someone in a full period costume.

So now you know the truth, George,

what are you gonna do with it?

You gonna tell Constable Tom,

get Tracey charged, make her lose her job?

I mean, is that... is
that what you want, George?

The first time I came up
here, I was real young.

I wanted to see how the other half lived.

Hey, it's cool -- no-one can see us.

But we can see them.

So what now?

I don't know -- you're the
brains of the operation.

I just thought it would be good
to see the home of our enemy --

go in and take a look round.

So you know your way
around in there, do you?

I've been inside a few times, yeah.

Why?

Different reasons. Check that out.

They go in there a lot.

- What's in there?
- I don't know.

The windows are blacked out.

You wanna find out?

Wow.

Yep, OK, that's... that's
not what I expected.

That's kinda cool.

Seriously?

In a real tragic way.

Come.

Man, that is cool.

- Are you OK?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

We should go.

So what if Big Mac likes
to play with toy trains?

It's lame but it's no help to us.

Hey, check this out. This
is... this is our town.

The roundabout. There's the museum.

The park with headless statue.

The McNamaras think they own the
place so why not in miniature?

Yeah, well, the retirement
village, this doesn't exist yet.

If Big Mac wants it in
his world, then it does.

Exactly.

Look, these apartment
buildings don't exist.

These roads don't exist.

That shopping mall doesn't exist, Shay.

This isn't some big boys' toys,

this is Big Mac's
blueprint for the future.

We... we need to send this everywhere.

People need to see this.

- Give me your phone.
- Why?

- Mine's dead.
- No, it's OK, I've got this.

No, I need your phone.

What are you doing?

Shay, what are you doing?

Huh.

Yeah, OK, so?

So?

Me and Lindsay hooked up. Yeah, so what?

It was, like, weeks ago.

How many weeks, Ike?

Look, it's OK, it was before you and me.

And it was no big deal.

Look, come on,

it's not like you haven't
had other guys before me.

Oh, shit.

Seriously?

I just thought that because of the way

you came on to me that night that I...

Shay, Shay, come on.

What the hell are you doing in here?

OK.

OK. OK.

What's so funny?

I've just solved Weld's
greatest unsolved crime...

.. and I can't tell anyone.

Do you think we should wipe it for prints?

Yeah, if it makes you happy.

Oh! Ah...

So, you and Tracey, eh?

Hey? Oh, no, no, no. We're
just... just friends.

Uh-huh.

No, I'm no threat if...
if that's what you mean.

Oh, no. That's not what I mean.

Uh-huh.

Hello?

- Constable Tom?
- What?! How does he know?

Sorry, I've just gotta
turn down the television.

- Hang up.
- OK.

- Hang up.
- Sorry, you were saying?

Hey, George. Bit of a hoo-ha, eh?

- Where's Shay?
- Out the back.

- Being charged.
- With what?

Breaking and entering, most likely.

- What? Where?
- The McNamara place.

Young love, eh? A licence to do dumb shit.

What, Shay and...

Ike. You didn't know?

- You did?
- Yeah.

- Well, not about the vandalism
and stuff. - Vandalism?

The tagging and stuff. It's all new to me.

But the other stuff, Katie
asked me to keep an eye out...

Katie knew?

You dick.

- Dad, listen, I...
- We'll talk about this when we get home.

Come on, Shay.

"The difference between
a mystery and a secret

"is pretty simple.

"When a mystery goes
unsolved, no-one suffers.

"Secrets, however, come
with a much higher price."

- Shay...
- I don't want to talk about it!

Well, that's bad luck because I do.

What the hell were you thinking?

Isn't this why you brought us here?

So we could start living
again, doing stuff...

No, that's not why I brought us here.

- You know that!
- Isn't that what you wanted?

- Shay! - Well, congratulations,
Dad, mission accomplished.

- Go to your room!
- Really, Dad?

- Is that your best...
- Go to your room now!

Dad, what happened?

Did you know about this? Shay and Ike?

Right.

Dad, I'm sorry.

Is there anything else I should know?

- Not really.
- Then go!

Go away.

Are you OK?

You were right.

Ike is a lying, cheating...

Come in.

I just wanted to make sure you were OK.

Tell me something, Katie.

You and I are supposed
to be friends, right?

Yeah.

So why didn't you tell
me about Shay and Ike?

That's what you were getting at yesterday

with the "concentrate on things
closer to home" comment, right?

It wasn't my place to say anything.

She is my daughter. I've got a
right to know what's going on.

- I know that. - And all this
was happening under my nose.

Was she...

Did you talk to her about that?

Did you tell her to, I don't know,

to be careful, make sure
she knew what she was doing?

That maybe getting involved
with him was a bad idea?

- No, not really.
- So you just let it go on under my nose.

Hang on a minute.

When did Shay's choices
become my responsibility?

Since you knew about it and did nothing.

She has made it very clear
that I'm not her mother.

That leaves one parent
in the mix, George -- you.

So stop feeling sorry for yourself

and start dealing with your kid.

I know I should've told you but...

Don't. I should be the
one who's apologising.

I've screwed this up, Arlo.

I have totally screwed this up.