7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 10, Episode 8 - Chicken Noodle Heads - full transcript

The mixed joys of fatherhood way heavy. While Annie tends to the flu patients, Eric feels no better after learning his pa the haughty colonel married after siring him. Martin's dad needs all his paternal love and self-control to patiently push the boy to step up to his upcoming paternity. Sandy's parents tell the reverends to butt out, they refuse any responsibility for the pregnant girl and disown her. Even perfect family father Kevin can't swallow jealous Lucy going ape over his play-date in the park for Susanna with former mothers course friend Alice's kid. Martin has discovered an excellent reason for Ruthie not to date Jack.

Well, thank you
for taking my call

and for volunteering
to drive down here.

I really appreciate that.

Okay, we'll see you, then.


Well, this is
a nice surprise.

How are you, sis?

Oh, I'm fine.

How are you?

Okay. Why?

The Colonel called.


And I think he thinks
that you know something

that you're not telling him.

I do, I can't tell
you either. Not yet.

But I already know.

How did you find out?

They told me when I got married.

I think they just
didn't want me to worry

about what they were
going to think

since I was already pregnant.

What are we talking about?

Mom and Dad, Ruth
and the Colonel.

Who were you talking
to Dad about?

You were referring to him,
weren't you?

Him as in who?

You were talking about
handling a problem

regarding a marine and
an unwanted pregnancy.

He told you that?

He told me that because he
wanted me to come and see you.

I wish he hadn't told you that.

Yeah, I only told him

'cause I thought
he might be helpful,

and then he just hung up
the phone, abruptly,

like he always does.

I, I shouldn't have said
anything at all.

I don't know why I did that.

My mistake for sharing my life
with my father, I suppose.

And look,
you can't say anything.

Why not?
Well, 'cause I...

I really don't need this getting
out all over Glenoak.

Oh, Eric, I don't think
anyone's really going to care.

I wish that were true,
but... wait a minute.

You don't think anyone's
going to care about what?

You don't even know
what the problem is.

Well, I guess it would
be easy enough for you

to piece it together,
given what the Colonel told you.

Martin's dad is having
a baby with someone?

I can't really talk about it.

Oh, no, it's not Martin.
He didn't.

Tell me
it doesn't involve Ruthie.

Ruthie? No, no, stop.

I, I can't talk about it.

I, uh, I've obviously said
too much already,

and now I... now I'm confused.

Dad thought I was
talking about what marine?

What unwanted pregnancy?

I think we've both have
already said too much.

I'd better go.

You're not going to
get away that easily.

Do I know some
other marine

involved with an
unwanted pregnancy?




Dad thought you were
talking about him.


He's having a baby at his age?

He's cheating on Mom?

He's not having a baby now,

He already had that baby.


I'm trying to tell you

that when he and Mom
got married--

she was pregnant.

We have another sibling?

We don't have another sibling?

They were pregnant with...?


What are you guys doing?

We're not getting the flu.

These keep the germs out.

Well, you're not going
to catch the flu, you know,

as long as you stay away
from Ruthie.

Did you guys make her
a get-well card?

We made her a sign instead.

We don't want anyone
to get the flu.

No one is gonna get sick.

We're all going to be fine.

Don't go up there, mom.

Yeah, don't
go up there.

I have to go up there.

I'm the mommy.
It's my job.

Please, if you have to go
up there, wear this.

And this, too,
and hold your breath.

And don't
touch anything.

Oh, I don't get sick,
I never get sick.

I guess I've been around
kid germs for so long,

with so many children,

that the germs just don't
bother me anymore.

What about Daddy?

Yeah, do germs bother him?


Hi. Hi, boys.

I'm not feeling well. I'm
gonna go straight to bed.

Please don't go up there.

Anybody home?

Oh, don't you two look cute.

Are you going somewhere?

We're going to the park.

Oh, good. I'll go, too.

My dad has a private
meeting at the church

with Sandy's parents,

and I don't want to be
anywhere around.

Oh, you want to come with us?

Sure, just give me
a minute to change.

You don't have to work?

Well, I could,
but I want to spend time

with my family.

And we want to spend time
with you, but...

But what?

But we have a playdate.

Well, I can go, too, can't I?

Of course, if you want.
I want.

Who's your date with?



Oh, I remember her.

Isn't, isn't she one
of the single ones?

Yeah, her and Rhonda are both
single working mothers.

Oh, well, who's playing,
you or Savannah?

All right,
don't go there.

Well, you have a playdate

with a single woman

and you obviously didn't

tell me ahead of time,

so you're hiding the fact
that you have a date,

and I hate to spoil
your good time,

but I'm going to tag along
since that's my daughter

and you're my husband,

and we're going
to have a good time.

Don't count on it.

I brought you some soup.

How many cans?

You didn't get sick

just so I'd make more soup

so that you could get
more labels, did you?


Just joking.


It's not funny.

I feel horrible.

I know.

The doctor said you're probably
going to feel horrible

for a couple more days.

I can feel horrible at school.

Oh no, no, no, no, no,
you're out for the week.

The doctor said so.

Yeah, but who listens
to doctors?

The school principal.

She wants any student
who's sick with the flu

to have a note from the doctor
saying it's okay to return

or one full week at home.

It's my constitutional
right to go to school.

I'm going to school tomorrow.

I have to.

Jack will wait.

Oh, no.

I'm still going
to school tomorrow.

I'm sorry,

I had to pick up Ruthie's
assignments for her.

She has the flu.

Oh, no. Don't get near her,

if you don't want
to get anything.

I don't want you
to get anything,

'cause I don't want
to get anything.

Are you coming over tonight?

If I can.

You asked me if you
could come over.

What do you mean,
"if I can"?

Well, I have to go to practice,

and then I have to drop
this stuff off and then...

You keep doing this.

You keep saying that
you need to see me,

and then you find
an excuse not to see me.

I don't mean to.
Are you sure?

I'll come over.

What time?

Good. I'll see you
at 7:00.

Hey, Martin, can I talk
to you a minute?

I've got practice.

Look, I just don't want there
to be anything weird between
us if Ruthie and I go out.

Well, she's sick.
She has the flu.

I don't think
she's going anywhere.

Oh, I didn't know.

But when she's better,
we're going out,

and I know you're
her best friend,

and I used to go out
with Meredith,

so I'm just saying.

You're just saying what?

I'm just saying
I don't want there to be
anything weird between us.

Well, you may not
get what you want.

I think you're
too old for Ruthie.

And, I don't care if her parents
said she can go out with you--
I think it's a bad idea.

What's that about?

Look, your business
is your business,

but Ruthie Camden
is a nice girl;

she's practically my sister.

I know what your game is, Jack,
so why don't you just back off.

Are you okay?


Can I get you anything?

Do you have a fever?


You know, with,
with your heart,

maybe we should
call the doctor.

Sometimes nausea
precedes a heart attack.

Maybe this is more
serious than the flu.
I said I wasn't nauseous.

You certainly are crabby.


You do look a little pale.

I'm just going to lie down
for a while.

I'll be fine.

Okay, well, call me
if you need anything.

I'm going to go back up
and check on Ruthie.

I don't know
why I said I didn't care

if Lucy or your dad
talked to them.

They're going to
go talk to them,

and then your dad and Lucy are
going to love them and hate me.

That's how it always goes
in these counseling sessions.

They just always buy
into everything

that my mom
and stepfather tell them,

and then I get blamed for
everything that happened.

Not that I won't take
full responsibility

for everything
that I did-- I do.

It's just, I don't want
anyone else to hate me.

Especially Lucy and your dad.

I need them.

My dad is really good
at seeing through people.

Seeing through
people and-and...

getting through
to people.

So, what I think most likely
is happening is that he's gonna

get them to love you,
and then everyone will love you,

and pretty soon maybe
you'll get to love yourself.

You know,
you're totally lovable.

No, I'm not.

Come on.

Give me a
ride to work.

I'll finish this paper later
when I get home today.

Where's your car?

It needs some work.

But I have to pay my
credit card bill first.

Let's go.

I haven't heard
from Martin.

I know he told his dad, but
I haven't heard from him.

Well, hey, who needs him?



I was just giving Simon
a ride to work.

So was I.

Well, then I guess

I'm not needed here.

See you.



I didn't call her,
she just showed up.

Yeah, she keeps doing that,
and you keep rescuing her.

I wasn't rescuing her.

She's just nervous
because her parents

are coming down
to see my dad today.

So she just needed a friend.

I'm her friend.

She could have come to me.

Yeah, but her parents
came down to see my dad,

so she came to me.

Sometimes I wish
that your family

would've just
stayed out of this.

It's not their problem.

That's what my family does.

They get involved with things
that aren't their problem.

They're like that.

Well, you don't
have to be like that.

You know I love you, right?

I know.

But sometimes I'm afraid
that you think

Sandy needs you more than I do.

And just because I'm not
having a baby right now

doesn't mean I don't need you.

I know, and I need you, too.

Someday I'm gonna be
having your babies.

Yeah, but not before
we're married

for a few years, right?

Simon, I'm not
stupid like Sandy.

I don't have to trap you
into marrying me, do I?

No, of course not.

He cries all
the time.

He never use to cry when
I was home all the time,

but now that I'm back at
work part-time, it's like

he's never happy unless he's
being pushed around the park

or driven around
in the car.

And even then...

"I don't know, Mom.

"You're the one
who seems unhappy,

and then I'm unhappy
when you're unhappy."

You think that
could be it?

You think he's just
picking up on my anxiety?

Babies understand a lot more
than we think they do.

Did you ask the daycare
if he's crying there?

According to them,

he's perfectly happy
until I get there.

Then I'm sure he just feels
you're upset

and he gets upset.

What am I
supposed to do?

I can't stand being away
from my little pumpkin.

And then I feel guilty about
leaving him there all day.

Just try being happy to see
him when you pick him up

and being happy to be with
him after a day at work

and see if that makes
any difference.

I will.

That's good advice,
Kevin, thanks.

You know, I just miss seeing
everybody at Mommy and Me.

It was my lifeline.

Yeah, mine, too.

Yeah, well, I'd
better be going.

I've got to go and get
something for dinner.

You know what I like to make
when I'm in a hurry?


Soup and a grilled
cheese sandwich.

Oh, that sounds good.

And easy.

Yeah, it'll give you
more time with Shawn.

Save the labels
for me, will you?

Ruthie's doing
some project at school,

and I'm trying to help her.

Oh, Campbell's Labels
For Education.

I did that when
I was in school.

I will get
right on it.

Bye, Kevin.
Bye, Lucy.

See you next week?

Next week?

You make me sick.

Have you been

doing this every week?

Meeting her in the park
without my knowing about it?

No, she called and she asked
if we could start meeting

once a week since she wasn't
able to get back to Mommy and Me

since she went back to work.


There's no one else
in Mommy and Me

that could meet her
in the park?!

She's not
the most popular mommy.

I felt sorry for her,
and she called me this afternoon

before I had a chance
to ask you about it.

What's the big deal?

The big deal?

The big deal is

you're-you're, you're obnoxious!

That's not very nice.

"Save the labels for me,
will you?

Babies understand a lot more
than you think they do."

When did you become the expert?

I'm not an expert.

I'm just speaking
from experience,

and I'm learning a lot at
Mommy and Me and from you.

I learn a lot from you.

Oh, no, no.

Do not try to be nice,
especially after you...

tried to have secret playdate
with Miss Beauty Queen there.


Oh, hi, Lou.

Oh, oh, I-I'm sorry.

I don't know what happened.

Ruthie must be on the phone.

Uh, just keep calling him,
and-and I'm on my way.

My dad didn't show up

to meet Sandy's parents.

I have to go.

We have to go.

I told you it wouldn't be fun.

You're a lot sicker
than I thought.

Maybe you should see
the doctor, you know.

I made Ruthie go
to the doctor.

I think you should
go to the doctor.

Yes, come on,
let's go.
I know what's wrong
with me, okay?

Just leave me alone.

All right, I didn't mean that

quite like it sounded.

I just meant...

I want to be alone,
if you don't mind.

Did you get bad news, bad news
about one of the children?

No, no bad news
about the children.

You haven't been to the doctor.

Did you get bad news
from the doctor?

Oh, you're not-- Eric.

Stop, stop.

I'm not dying, I'm not sick,
the children are fine.

Nothing wrong with Hank,
Julie and the girls?

I mean, 'cause I know
she stopped by your office.

She called this morning.

They're fine.
Look, Annie...

I just want a little time
to myself to think.

I can understand that.

Yeah, I...

I just want to know
what you're thinking about.

Well, let me think
a while longer,

and then we'll talk, okay?


Take all the time you need.

You have till, what--

the children are
in bed tonight-- 9:00.

Okay, and then we'll talk.

Oh, Ruthie's
on the phone with Jack.

Maybe the flu was a blessing.


Maybe whatever you're thinking
about, whatever you're sick over

and not telling me about
is a blessing, too, huh?

Or not.

So you should write something,
let me read it.

I'll even help you with it.

Then we'll show it
to the rest of

the newspaper staff
and you're in.

Yeah, okay.

Maybe something about barfing.

Very topical.


Thanks for calling,
but I really have to go.

I don't feel so hot.

Get back to school soon.

I miss you.

No matter what Martin tells you.


I'll call you tomorrow.


Why did you say that
about Martin?

I don't know.

I tried talking to the guy,
so that if you and I

went out with Meredith and him,

there wouldn't be any weirdness.

But he just told me, flat-out,
he doesn't think we should

go out together 'cause
I'm too old for you.


We came here to talk
to a real minister.

I'm here.
I apologize.

I'm Eric Camden.

Uh, this is Rob and Ellen.



Oh, no, I'm fine.

I don't have
the flu.

I, uh, had a bad day, just
like a really bad day.

Would you kindly consider
listening to what Lucy

has to say-- what
we both have to say.

And-and believe me,
we're both anxious

to hear whatever you
want to say to us.

I just want you to know that
after having met Sandy's father,

we have so much respect
for you, and we sympathize,

knowing what you must have
been through already.

And, Rob, I'm sure
you must be a very strong man.

You must really love Ellen
and Sandy to have been willing

to make a commitment to them
and to spend the time and effort

that you did
in-in helping Sandy.

We're not asking you
to help Sandy now.

W-We just, you know,
want to tell who we are

and, uh, say to you

that if the two of you
need anything,

we're happy to do
whatever we can.

Well, we're not
here seeking help.

Uh, we just don't want
anyone to think

that we're, uh, at fault.

Or to blame for Sandy
and her little shenanigans.

Oh, no.

Is that what you think?

That someone blames you?

Or that Sandy blames you?

Because she doesn't.

No one does.

I-I certainly don't
and-and my father doesn't.

No, not at all.


Because we're not
responsible for her

getting into trouble again.

Trouble that involves
bringing an innocent child

into her world, along with
some poor high school boy.

I don't want to have
anything to do with her,

and neither does Rob.

We've, we have had enough.

We don't hate her.

We just don't want to have

anything to do with her
and this baby.

We understand.

And-and again, uh,
we're not asking you

to take Sandy back
into your lives unless

and until you're ready.

At that point...

if you need us, we're here.

Tell me, what exactly
was she hoping

to get out of this meeting?

Oh, she didn't ask us
talk to you.

W-We just wanted
to talk to you.

Generally, uh, when I--

when we help a family member,

we at least extend ourselves
to the other family members.

Is there anything
we can do to help you?

Well, you could have
asked us that on the phone.

And no, there's nothing you can
do, other than leave us alone

and leave us out of
this current Sandy drama.

Now that we've
expressed our feelings,

I hope you two
will leave us alone,

or we will get an attorney
and make you leave us alone.

I'm sure that won't
be necessary.

Should I call you
when the baby's born?

Just to let
you know.

Absolutely not.

I think I liked the
drunk father better.

Certainly he was a little warmer
and-and more entertaining.

And yet, I sympathize
with these two parents.

I know exactly where
they're coming from.

Did Simon do something else?

Was that your bad day?


Is there something else
with Simon,

other than the big engagement
ring, that I don't know about?

No, no surprises
as far as I know.

Good, 'cause I can't take
any more surprises today.

How was practice?

Practice was practice.

Did you come up with a plan
like I asked you to?

Did you at least
talk to Meredith?

You have to talk to her.
That's step one--

letting the people you care
about know what's going on.

You want someone else
to tell her?

Look, I don't
want her to know.

That's not the point.
The point is, she will know,

and she should hear
it from you.

Would you just leave
me alone about this?

No, I won't.

Look, you made a mistake.

That's no excuse for
continuing to make mistakes.

You know the right thing
to do. Do it.

I don't want to do it, okay?
No, not okay.

She has nothing
to do with this.

It... it's a whole
separate issue.

I don't want to involve her
in that part of my life.

There's not the Meredith
part of your life

and the Sandy
part of your life,

and some other
part of your life.

There's just your life.

And you're not only
responsible for your life now,

you're responsible for another
life, so be responsible.

But you don't understand.

I do understand.

You think your life is over.
You feel sorry for yourself.

You're not thinking
of anyone else.

But your life isn't over.

It just took
an unexpected turn,

and there are
other people's feelings

to be considered here,
other than yours.

Son, I hate to say this,

but things
are going to get worse

before they get any better.

People are going to know,
and you can't control that.

Wh-What do you want me to do?

I want you to think
about what's ahead of you

and decide what
the best way to react is

and react that way.

Think, act, feel,
not the other way around.

Take control
of what you can control,

and the only thing
you can control is you.

You make up your mind
right here and now

that you're a man,
and you act like a man,

and you'll be a man.

Why, because I got
some girl pregnant?

No, because you're going to do
the right thing for yourself

and everybody else involved,

because responsibility
is what makes a man a man,

and being responsible in this
situation is the only thing--

the only thing--

that's going to make you
feel better about yourself.

The right thing for me is just
to ignore this ever happened

and just move on with my life.

Do you think that's going
to make you feel better

about yourself?
I don't think so.

As a matter of fact,
I know so.

I didn't raise you to be
a guy who-who fathered a child

and ignores the child.

First of all, you didn't
raise me. Mom did.

And then when she died,
nobody raised me but me.

Second of all, you fathered
me and then ignored me.

You've been gone
most of my life.

What you just experienced--

...my not kicking your butt
from here to Timbuktu--

that's control.

I have control
of my feelings.

You might want
to learn how to do that--

what I just demonstrated--

in order for you to survive
the next few months.

Not another word.

Not another word to me

till you tell the woman you love
what you need to tell her.


You can't go over to the
Camdens'. That's where I go.


I'm sorry!

Would you stop that?

We're not going to know
which soup is which.

Talk to me.

You don't get
to have playdates
with single women.

You don't get to say
who I can play with

or who I can't
play with.

You know what I mean.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

You mean that I can't
tell you what to do.


How can you be
so sane and so rational

when it comes to other couples,
but when it comes to you and me,

you're completely unreasonable?

I am not unreasonable.

You are unreasonable!

How am I being unreasonable?

You can't spend your day
hanging out

with a beautiful, single woman

who obviously doesn't mind
flirting with you

in front of your own wife!

She probably thinks
that you are so comfortable

in our relationship
and so confident in yourself

that you don't care
if she flirts with me,

not that that was
what she was doing.

That is exactly
what she was doing,

and then you act as if I was
doing something wrong

when it was the two of you
doing something wrong.

Annie said
you were in here.

Yep, I'm in here.

You don't have the flu, do you?


I just had a big
fight with Martin.


I hate being a father.

Know what I mean?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

It's like a war
that lasts a lifetime.

You always got
to be on your toes.

It's exhausting.

- Hey.
- Hey, Kevin.

What's going on?

I need some advice.

Me, too.
I had a big fight with Lucy.

You want to move over?

Yeah, sorry.

♪ ♪

Hey. Are you gonna sit
out here all night?

I was waiting for 7:00.

How long have you been out here?

A while.
Are you feeling okay?

No, I'm not.

I have to talk to you.

Okay. Something bad?

Well, kind of. Yeah.

Okay, well...

Whatever it is, it's okay.

I'm having a baby.

Okay, stop it.
You're not.

Not me. Sandy.

What are you talking about?

I thought you were just
with her the one time.

It was only the one time,

and it was a stupid thing to do,

but she's pregnant
and I'm responsible.

No, you're not.
She's responsible.

How could she do
something like that to you?


Oh, come on.

She's, like, what? 20? 21?

It wasn't her first time.

She did it on purpose.

You're not going
to marry her, are you?


Your dad isn't going
to make you marry her, is he?

Uh, I-I don't think so.

I can't believe her.

This is so unfair.

Yeah, it is.
It's totally unfair.

If you thought that I was
going to break up with you

when you told me this,
you were wrong.

I love you.

I'm going to stand by you.

You are?


I don't know.

Don't cry, please.
Please don't cry.

I can't have a boyfriend who's
having a baby with another girl.

A woman, a girl,
whatever. I can't.

Why not?

Because I want normal.

I've been in Social Services
all of my life practically,

and I just got a home
with a mom and a dad,

and my sisters
and my brother

and I eat dinner
every night together

and brush our teeth
and go to bed,

knowing we can still
live here the next day,

and that means
everything to me.

It's normal.

I'm finally a normal person.

So, I can't.

I love you, but... I can't.

But I don't care
anything about Sandy.

I was just with
her the one time.

I've hardly talked
to her since.

She means nothing to me.

But she's having your baby.

Yeah, I know, but it's
not like I asked her to.

Is the baby a boy or girl?

I don't know.

How could you not know?

Don't you care
at all about the baby?

How can I?
I didn't want this to happen.

I don't want a baby.

You don't know what it's like

to be a child
who isn't loved, do you?

You don't know what
it's like to feel unwanted,

but I do.

So, my advice to you is to love
your son or your daughter

and never, ever let them know
that you felt the way

that you're feeling right now.

I have to go.

And please, don't call me.

And if you see me at school,
don't speak to me.

Okay, here's
my advice.

Kevin, go home and
apologize to Lucy.

You were wrong.
She was right.

Beau, go home and
wait for Martin.

I don't think he's going
to want to talk to me.

He's going
to still be angry.

What's wrong
with you, anyway?

Nothing's wrong with me.

I meant Dad.

Uh, my sister told me today

that my parents
had to get married

'cause my mom
was pregnant with me.

Do you care?

It just seems absurd
that they never told me.

But why would they?

Why would they tell your sister?

Oh, 'cause she was pregnant
when she got married.

I didn't know.

I guess they were just trying

to make her feel better.

You're not going to say
anything, are you?

I don't think my dad really
wanted to talk about it.

Uh, maybe at some point.

Then again, what's to be said?

Yeah. I don't think
anything needs to be said.

No. Who wants to talk
about something

that's ancient
history anyway?

Yeah. I mean,
not that ancient, but still...

You know, growing up,

you always think you're keeping
secrets from your parents,

and then one day you realize

your parents have
their own secrets.

You and Mom got
any secrets?

I mean, any more secrets?

Yes, but we'll
let you know what they are

when we're in our 90s.

Kevin, go home; Beau, go home.

You know, it's getting late.

You've got families
waiting for you.

Night, guys.

Let's do this
again sometime.

Yeah, sure.

My house next time.

I'd invite you,
but evidently,

I have to check with Lucy
before any playdates.

Good night.
Good night.

Julie called.

I didn't hear the phone ring.

Oh, all right, I called her.

She told me about
the Colonel and Ruth.

You okay?


It took me until now,
but I'm fine.

I guess I'm used to getting
surprised by our children

but not by my parents.

I thought I knew everything
about them, and yet...

And yet, they're human,
just like the rest of us.

Yeah. I don't have any judgments
about what happened

between the two of them.

It was just a surprise.

A big surprise.

I could be
jealous that...

my sister knew first.

I could be angry with her
for not telling me sooner.

I could be upset with my parents

for hiding it from me
all this time.


I think I'll go another way,
when I can.

Don't you live
across the street now?

This isn't your
kitchen anymore.

You're not welcome here.

You told Jack that you didn't
want him to go out with me.

That's it?

That's it?
That's not enough?

We have to talk.

Well, I don't want
to talk to you, okay?

Don't go ruining
everything for me.

I just got my parents
to let me decide

who I want to go out with,
and I want to go out with Jack,

so just stay out of it.

All right, I'll stay out of it.

But you don't know
what you're getting into.

He wants to go out with you
for a reason.

You know, you think
you're all grown up

and you should be allowed
to make your own decisions,

but the first one out of
the gate is a bad decision,

a really bad decision,

a decision you might
really regret.

I don't need any more
lectures from you.

I've got a mom and dad.

Who were you yelling at?


He's in our kitchen, like he
still lives here or something.

What are you yelling about?


Did you tell
Ruthie about...?

No, I didn't; I tried.

That's what I came over here
to do, but she was so angry

that I told Jack
not to go out with her

that she didn't
let me say anything.

So, just remember,
I tried to tell her about me.

I tried-- but everything's
about her right now.

Did you tell...?

Yes. I told Meredith,
and now she hates me

and she's never gonna
speak to me again--

So... thanks for
the great advice.

I think I'll go home now
and thank my dad, too.

Although I should stop
at Lucy and Kevin's

and thank them.

You've all been
a lot of help.

Wait, wait, wait.

Uh, look, I know
you're angry

and you're dealing
with a lot,

but just give me
a few minutes.

For one thing, what's going on
with this Jack character?

Why don't you want him
to go out with Ruthie?

You don't
want to know.

What don't I want to know?

Want me to make
you something?


How's this?

How about some
mu shu pork instead?

That new Chinese
restaurant is open late.

Now you're talking.

I'm sorry about today,
I really am.

Me, too.


You're not wearing any pants.

Oh. Right.

I love you.

It's me.


I just got your message.

Am I calling too late?

No, I just got home from work;
I'm studying.

Did you need something?


Sandy was kind of worried
about Dad meeting her parents.

Oh, I ended up
meeting them, too.

What was she worried about?

Well, I guess she was afraid

that they'd say
something bad about her.

I think she's told me
everything bad about her,

and I still like her.

And after meeting her parents,

I think I like her
even better, in fact.

I think she's gonna be fine.

She's a lot stronger
than she knows.

Can I tell her you hated them?

I didn't say that--
I don't hate anyone.

I didn't find them
particularly pleasant, but...

Pleasant as in,
they're awful people?

They're just parents, Simon.

They've been through a lot,
and they've reached their limit.

Maybe it'll change;
maybe it won't.

Just tell Sandy
that I'm thinking about her

and that I will call her
tomorrow after classes.

It's late;
you should go to bed.

I have to study.

You're working too many hours.

I have to;
I have responsibilities.

Good night, Simon.

I love you.

Night, Lucy.
Thanks for calling.

I love you.

It's like
boyfriend roulette.

You never know
what you're gonna get.

Well, how are you
gonna stop her

from dating him
when you told her

she can go out with
anyone she wants?

I don't know, but I am.

Especially now.

That is just unbelievable.

And yet... yeah, I knew
something wasn't right.

Me, too.

Just took me a few weeks
to piece it together.

And you're sure?

I'm sure.

You know, what
might work best...

aside from putting
a rocket down Jack's pants

and firing him down the beach--

what might work is...

that you could talk to Ruthie.

I'm supposed to tell
Ruthie about Jack

and then tell her
about Sandy?

I don't think so-- once
I talk to her about
either one of those,

I'll never get
to the next one.

Besides, she's not even
speaking to me, so...

Yeah. She's not
feeling well today,

but she'll be better
in a couple of days.

I hope I have
a couple of days.

A week would be great.

If I could make it
to Thanksgiving

without the whole school
talking about me, that
would be even better.

And if I could make it
to the Christmas holidays,
that would be a miracle.

Well, you never know.

I think you did the right thing
telling Meredith,

and I know your secret
would be safe with Ruthie.

But yeah, I guess at some point,
people are gonna know.

You want to hear a funny story
about me and my dad?

Not really-- I'm not really
in the mood for funny.

It's not that funny.

I found out today--

just today--

that my mom was pregnant with me

when my mom and my dad
got married.

I never knew that.

The Colonel?

The Colonel.

I still can't marry Sandy.
I can't.

I-I don't like her.'

I'm not suggesting
you marry her.

I think she's kind of
moved away from the idea

of getting married
for right now.

Fine. Good for her.

Your point?

My point is that...

some of the best people
in the whole wide world

conceive without
the benefit of marriage,

and some of the babies grow up
to be marvelous human beings.


Your parents; you.

And you, you're not a bad guy.

You're still
the same good person

you were before this happened.

Why are you telling me this?

I don't know.

I sense that...

maybe you're not
just angry with Sandy,

you're angry at yourself,

and you're feeling
more than a little guilty.

You don't happen to know
if the baby's a...

boy or a girl, do you?


Guess, uh...

you'll have to ask Sandy.