68 Whiskey (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Fight or Flight - full transcript

Col. Austin brings the hammer down hard on Roback, Davis, and Alvarez; Davis brokers the big fight with Sasquatch; Qasem helps Holloway at her medical clinic.

So that's what Sasquatch
has been after this whole time?

Apparently so.

Then let's not keep them apart.

Davis, hold on.

- Hold on.
- For what?

There's no fight until
we give this back.

And if there's no fight,
then I'm in deep shit.

Look, give me that.

Look, we are gonna give it back.

But I want to find out

what's so important to our little buddy.


Okay, do it.


What kinda language
do you think that is?

"Keep the fuck out" language.

Hang on.

Let me try something.

Give it up.

We're giving this to Sasquatch now.

What's the hurry?

It's from the bank.

They're gonna take possession
of my family's house

to pay the hospital for my
mom's cancer treatments.

That's a fuckload of zeroes.

The last letter was yellow.
This one is orange.

It's like they're raising the
terror threat level on my life.

Next letter's gonna have anthrax in it.

Let's go find Sasquatch.

Colonel Austin wants to see you two

in his office right now.

- Promotions?
- We did save the day.

Your whole crew is grounded.
Effective immediately.

- Sir?
- Hang on.

I'm sorry, but the last time I checked,

we acquired a shitload
of lifesaving morphine

in some pretty dangerous conditions.

You also pissed off my
superior and his superior.

Whatever you did got
SecCorp paying attention,

and now they've got
Washington paying attention,

and people who matter are demanding

- I take action against you...
- Sir, I don't understand.

We got the drugs with
no help from SecCorp.

People who shouldn't even know you exist

are now keenly aware of you.

What does that mean, sir?

It means your entire military
careers are in jeopardy.

Welcome to the party, men.

Besides being grounded, you'll be losing

all base privileges and be on
cleanup and KP duty as well.

Hopefully that'll
appease all these people

I got burrowing up my ass.

Who's gonna replace us, sir?

Oh, they're sending in a new crew.

Oh, and you're all losing pay.

Losing pay?

You should consider yourself lucky

you're not spending
time in the brig, Davis.

Is that still an option? 'Cause
I'd much rather do that than...

Shut the fuck up, dude.

Apologies for the language, sir.

Sir, I wasn't on that mission.

Sergeant, you're going
down with this ship

even though you were
not a party to this.

And by the way, you've done
excellent work recently.

That's just how shit rolls in the Army.

Feel free to take it up privately

with your husband later.

Now this base needs to
be put back together

after that mortar attack,

and you're just the soldiers
in deep shit to do it.



Fucking bullshit.

I'm back to scrubbing toilets.
Thank you very much.

Look, we had no way of knowing

that this was gonna come
back and bite us in the ass.

Everything you do comes
back to bite you in the ass.

- No point in arguing.
- Yes, there is.

It's making me feel better.

You know that call came in

from the Under goddamn
Secretary of Defense.

I have never put through a call

that high up the chain
of command before.

You all are damn lucky you're
not being court-martialed.

- I don't feel lucky.
- Under Secretary of Defense?

SecCorp took this all
the way to the top.

- That's not good.
- To him it is.

No, this isn't about that morphine.

This is about shit we saw out
there in the middle of nowhere.

Whatever it's about,
we need to watch it.

This is major shit we're stepping in.

And I didn't even step in it.

Bright side, future grounds
for your eventual divorce.


Sorry to interrupt.

I'm not even supposed to be here.

- I lost my gym privileges.

Thought you'd get a kick outta that.

So, look. I brought you something.

I didn't have time to
attach a personal note.

- Transaction over.
- Okay.

I'm happy to leave.

But I just want to know
we're on the same page.

We're on the same page.

And so I'm clear, that's the page

where you agree to fight the
Warlord's bodyguard, right?

Where I'm from, we keep our promises.

It's a pretty big operation you
guys got going on out there

in the middle of nowhere.

What operation?


I get it. Top secret.

My lips are sealed.

You're not supposed to be here.

I was just talking some business.

- What business?
- Don't worry about it.

No distractions today, babe.

[LAUGHS] Later, babe.

- You ready?
- Left my dad's balls ready.


Hot, strong.

Agile. Where does her talent end?

- Dude.
- I'm positive reinforcement.

You can't talk over all
the footage, okay?

I'm sending this to stunt coordinators.

This is important.

This could be my ticket
out of the military,

so just please take it seriously.

Got it.


[SIGHS] Fuck.

I just, I feel like I should be
sparring with an actual person,

not a camera.

- Me?
- You scared?

No, ma'am.


How come no one's stopping?

These people need medical
care. I'm giving medical care.

Hmm, you sure that this
sign is printed correctly?

- That says "free medical care"?
- Yes.

- In Pashto?
- Yes.

Maybe we should make it bigger.

It is big enough.


You're the first person
to get this close.

We are slow to warm
up to people with guns.

These troops are here
for your protection.

When you leave, will
you take them with you?

Of course.

Then they are here for your protection.

You have this very irksome way

of turning everything
I say around on me.

It is a gift.

[SIGHS] Wanna be my first walk-in?

Someone will have to be.

She's fine.

I just said she looks tired.

You mean I look like shit.

Worry less about us, son,

and more about staying safe over there.

How are things in the hot zone?

Things are about to
be a whole lot better.

I'm about to be flush with cash soon.

I'll be able to finally
get those motherfuckers

from the bank off your back.

All this language. Your fault.

Flush with cash, how?

It's complicated.

Don't worry about the bank, son.

We talked to them.

You did? When?

It doesn't matter. We worked it all out.

Exactly how did you work it out?

We don't wanna bother
you with legalities.

You got more important
things to think about.

Just stay safe over there.

Okay, but I need you
to tell me exactly...

You're gonna have to end
that call and leave, Sergeant.

- Yeah, in a second...
- No, right now.

You're on the no privilege list.

What's he talking about, no privilege?

Nothing, Ma.

I'll be off in a second, Private.

I'm gonna have to
terminate this call now.

And I'm gonna have to
terminate your fucking finger.

Everything all right, son?
What's going on there?

Everything is fine, Ma. What about...

Look, if you leave right
now, I won't report you.

- Otherwise...
- I'm gone.

- All right.
- I'm going.



Okay, so there are two tricks
when throwing a stunt punch.

The first is distance

so you don't actually
hit the other person.


Camera angles do most of the work.

But you still have to throw
the punch like it's real.

Hard and fast.

[EXHALES] You try.

- That's it.

But even more important
than that is the end.

You have to really
sell it when it lands.

So when I punch, you snap
your head to the side.

Got it? Okay?



But really snap. Do it quicker.

- All right?
- Okay.

[EXHALES] Come on, babe.

- Snap.
- I'm trying.

All right. [EXHALES]

Okay, new deal.

You try to hit me this time, okay?




Shit, shit. Hon, are you okay?

Are you okay?

Now that's how you sell it, babe.


How did our adventure end up all the way

on the Under Secretary
of Defense's desk?


SecCorp has fiends in high places.


Yeah, but what are they so afraid of?

What the fuck is on that blue FOB?

Who cares? We got the fight back on.

We got bigger shit to worry about,

like our boxing ring being a
pile of lumber at the moment.

I care.

Well, bringing down Sasquatch

is not gonna get Durkin back for you.

Those two things are
completely unrelated, okay?

Oh, my mistake.

I'm over Durkin.

I don't even think about her anymore.

That ship has sailed.
I'm fine with that.

That's who they sent in to replace us?

They brought in the PJs.

Didn't have to bring in the
LeBron James of medic crews

just to rub it in.

They're not that hot.
Just beards and biceps.

Can you try and remember
that we're married?


Fuck you.

First, the Under Secretary
of Defense grounds us,

then they send in the
fucking PJs to replace us.

Something big's going on.

And SecCorp is very worried
we're gonna screw it up.

Well, let's not disappoint them.

Not now, fellas.

I'm tending to a real
temperamental gazpacho.

I hate gazpacho.

Tell him what he's missing.


Yeah, of course the bloody truth.

- I've had better.
- Go fuck yourself.

I'm doing the best I
can making your lunch

out here in the Afghan
bloody wilderness.

Won't even have my kitchen
back until after the big fight.

Yeah, about that. We're
here to place our bets.

With what?

I don't see any U.S.
presidents in your hand.

With the hashish we
gave you as collateral.

Oh, well, that was for the last fight,

also known as the slaughter
of Sergeant Roback.

No, it's for this fight,

also known as the mythical
molly wop of Sasquatch.

[LAUGHS] Your word against mine.

- That's out-and-out theft.
- It is, isn't it?

Whoa. Hey, stop it.

- Jesus fucking Christ!
- What the fuck, dude?

I'm sorry, man. I just snapped.

I got a lot riding on this.

Look, we don't usually resort
to this kind of behavior,

but you can see how much
this means to us now, okay?

Here's the deal.

That hashish is gonna be
used as our collateral

for the upcoming fight.

- Understood?
- Fuck you.

He's all yours.

Okay, fine. Fine.

We roll it all over to
the big fight, done.

Put it all on the bodyguard.

But it won't do you much good.

What you talking about?

You've done too thorough
a job promoting your boy.

Everyone's betting on him now.

Odds are looking like
a fat kid on a seesaw.

No one's betting on Sasquatch.

- No one?
- No, terrible odds.

All that'll win is pennies
on the dollar, if that.

Why not put it all on Sasquatch?

Get a bit of excitement into your life?

The payout would be monumental.

What are we gonna do?

We bet on our guy, we win nothing.

We bet on Sasquatch, we lose
everything when our guy wins.

- Let's stick to the plan.
- The plan is FUBAR.

There is no good options here.

Anything's better than losing it all.

Time's up. What's it gonna be?

Sometimes long shots like
Sasquatch come through.

And when they do, fortunes are made.

Then again, you can just
do what your guts tell you.

We're gonna go with our guy.

[HISSES] All right.

Oh, not so fast.

I've been told I've got
both of you at my disposal

for KP duty.

So that means I'm
gonna need one of you...

Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.

To peel my many potatoes.


Hey, hold your horses.

There's plenty of snack money to be made

during the big fight.

So I'm gonna need you to
restock my vending machines.


Get to work, Davis.


You're doing remarkably well

considering what you've been through.

You should be dead.

I'm a very resilient LN.

That is what you call us, is it not?

It is.

I would prefer it if from now
on you called me Qasem.



- Mm.

You should get your shirt back on now.


You know, it's ridiculous
no one's coming to the clinic.

- I am here.
- Yeah, you're the only one.

Come with me.


This whole thing is looking
very, how should I say it...

- Efficient and safe?
- American.

It's dangerous for us to be seen

interacting with Americans.

When you leave,

we have made enemies we
cannot protect ourselves from.

It should not be this way, but it is.

These people need help. I can help.

There must be a way.

There is a way,

but it's not very American.

I'll be the judge of that.

- So how did we meet?

Here. On base.

I saw you coming out of your CHU one day

headed for the showers.

I said, "Hey, towel's not regulation.

I'm gonna need you to drop it".

You naturally were swept off your feet,

and you found me that night
and had your way with me.

Can we fall in love in a way
where I'm less of a slut?

[LAUGHS] We'll work on it.

Can we please be serious

about this Green Card interview?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Do you believe in God?

Not after all this.


Why? Is that a deal breaker?

- Just don't tell my parents.
- Okay.

How'd you ask me to marry you?

Look, these are all the wrong questions.

This shit doesn't say
anything about intimacy.

- It's the little stuff.
- Okay.


sea salt or barbecue?

Neither. That shit will kill you.


♪ ♪

I need to tell you something.


Not here.


I killed my dad.


- You what?
- Yeah, yeah.

He was doing bad things to my sister.

And he was about to turn his
attention to my other sister.

And I had to protect
them, so I shot him.

And he died.

And believe me when I tell you

he's no real loss to the planet.

[SNIFFLES] Fuck him.

Okay, okay.

Pardon my ignorance, but
how are you not in jail?

Nobody knows I did it.

Or cares.

Except my mom.

Everybody thinks he died
in a drug deal gone wrong.

Cops are happy to be done with him.

Means they don't have
to throw his ass in jail

once a week for stealing
Honda Civics in the street.

So look, it's probably
why it took me so long

to fill out the paperwork.


Now that the government's
rifling through our shit,

it might come up.

I should've told you sooner. I'm sorry.

Guess now it's your turn
to back out if you want.

Back out? We're already married.

It's probably a little late for that.

We keep going as planned.

Well, now you know just in case.

- In case of what?
- Nothing.

We're fine. It's done and dusted, okay?

You think I'm a psychopath?

I'm your wife.

If you're a psychopath,
then I'm a psychopath too.

That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.

You're a good person.

I figured I got a lot of making up to do

for the old man's sins.

Well, you're doing a great job at it.



Who gave you permission to leave?

There's still work to be done.

Hungry soldiers need their Kit Kats.

Yeah. [SIGHS]


- I'm so sorry, sir.
- Is that the Colonel I hear?

Morgan Jennings. SecCorp.

He insisted on waiting in
there and I couldn't stop him.

No worries, Corporal.

Colonel Austin.

I don't recall having any

scheduled appointments this afternoon.


Didn't have time to go
through proper channels.

Hmm, you people never do.

Well, I'll get right down to it.

I need your help with a little
ongoing project I'm working on.

Mm, I already have a job.
Thanks for the offer.

Excuse me. I misspoke.

We don't need you.

I just need, you know, about
three dozen of your troops.

I'm using them.

We need them to work a
little security detail with us.

Security? For what?

I'm not at liberty to say.

And believe me, that's a
more interesting answer

than if I actually told you.

[LAUGHS] Just boring corporate stuff.

With you guys, it's
always just the opposite.

Oh, nothing untoward.

As always, the Pentagon has
completely vetted my request.

Forgive me if that doesn't
impress me anymore.

I think I'll hold onto my troops.


You know all I have to
do is make a phone call.

Why do we have to do
this dance every time?

Come on. Let's just keep it simple.

Huh? Settle it between us?

Oh, let's do the dance.

It's my only pleasure
in dealing with you guys.

Who am I to deny you your only pleasure?


- You rolling?
- Yup, rolling.

Go for it, babe.

You're sure the cardboard
boxes are safe, yeah?

This is exactly how
the professionals do it.

Now, come on.


♪ ♪


All right. Let's do it.

You okay?

I think so.

Whoo! Yeah!

Man. Yeah.

Babe, wait until you see this.
You are fucking amazing.



The thrill of not getting shot
at by the Taliban is gone.


I feel like I've been put in prison

without the benefit of
committing the actual crime.

Yeah, it kind of makes
you an honorary brother.

Should we be wearing
gloves to handle this shit?

- Move.
- Get the fuck out of the way.

Blunt trauma. Chest and abdomen.

You guys were able to
intubate on the transport?

Yeah, well, we got bored.

I haven't seen that before.

- You guys are very good.
- Thank you, Major.

She never said that to us.

We gotta figure out a way to
get back in the fucking air.



What did you want to see me about?

I was able to get you and
Roback an interview at Bagram

for your Green Card.

I'm not sure how both of
you being on Article 15s

is gonna impact it, but
fingers crossed it still works.

Well, with Roback, it's
always fingers crossed.

That's it. You can go.

What's wrong?

- I can't use it.
- Sorry?

My ticket out of here.


I have no future.

Look, I had all these plans.

I was gonna move to L.A. with my cousin.

Who is it again? Jennifer Aniston?

Lawrence. Jennifer Lawrence.

The one who played Captain Marvel?

That's Brie Larson.

You should be her stunt double.

I'm not related to her.

Get Jennifer Lawrence to introduce you.


Dude, my whole point is I can't do it.

I can't be a stunt woman.

I jumped off a fucking guard tower today

and I thought I was gonna die.

But you didn't die. You did it.

It was so fucking scary. Like...

Is that what I want my life to be like?

I'm already in the
military for Christ's sake.

When I get home, I just...

I just want to chill.

- Just ranting.
- That's okay.

But you know,

being here doesn't set you up to chill.

And we get back home,

and everyone just assumes
that we all have PTSD

and are alcoholics and drug addicts.

It's just bullshit.

And no one really gives a damn

because they're too busy
enjoying their freedom.

So my only option is to do
exactly what I'm doing now.

Clerking in a dust
bowl full of horny men

in the middle of fucking hell.

Well, you're just as
screwed as the rest of us.

Look at Roback.

Dude is from Hemet.

That's the Afghanistan of California.

[LAUGHS] Shots fired.

And Davis.

Just because his mom has
cancer, he owes so much money

that they're gonna take
away his family's home.

- That's really sad.
- And me.

Yeah, I'm pretty much
up to speed on you, girl.

Not quite. New development.

My 13-year-old brother is
in a U.S. detention center

because he tried to cross
the border by himself

to visit his old friends.

I'm sorry.

What are you gonna do?

No fucking idea.


What are you doing here?

Medics only.

Well, I guess you should
leave then, huh?

You're probably right.

Just came to grab a book
to read since I'm gonna be

confined to my quarters
for the rest of deployment.

That's a dictionary.


I like to read a book
when I know how it ends.

Oh, man. You caught a tough break.

I feel bad for you, buddy.

You guys got some pretty
high performance toys.

Well, some of the missions
they send us on,

it's not nearly enough.

But who's complaining?

Well, me apparently.


Any idea how long you guys
are gonna stick around for?

Hey, we just go where they tell us

and we leave when they tell us, and...

they haven't told us to leave yet.

Do you think it's a little overkill?

Bringing you in to replace us?

Well, I'm not gonna say that.

We just go where they tell us, man.

- Who's they?
- Look, Sergeant...

[MISPRONOUNCES] Robit, Roback?

- Roback.
- Roback.

I have no idea why they
brought us in here, man.

Or took you out.

It's really none of my business.

Honestly, I got nothing
but respect for you medics.

Just like us, minus the suicidal ADHD.

- Yeah.

Is it true about the training
you guys go through?

They put you in a pool with
weights strapped to you

and you drown, they pull
you out, and revive you?


It's called a "Water Confidence Test".

And it's so we no longer fear dying.

Does that work?

- Yes?

Yeah, I had a similar experience

in a pool when I was 12.

- Different outcome though.

Well, you gotta be a whole
lot of fucked up in the head

to do what we do, I guess.


I'd be lying if I said I
didn't want my job back.

I wouldn't worry about it.

We never stay in the
same spot for very long.

And we'll be gone soon enough.


Problem is, we could be gone with you.

Look, man, I don't know what
you did to get grounded.

But I'm guessing whatever it was,

you're pretty damn good
at pissing people off.

It's kind of my superpower.

Mine too. Bravo.

[LAUGHS] Yeah.


This is an awesome reel.

You knocked out a 250-pound ex-SEAL

on a military base in Afghanistan.


Those Hollywood types
are gonna be all over you.

Yeah, it's gonna be great. Can't wait.

Hey, what's wrong?

Nothing. [SIGHS]

Come on, baby. Speak to me.

I just...

I just feel guilty dragging
you along on this

because I know damn well
the last thing you want

is to hold car doors open
for celebrities all day.

Well, then you'll be glad to hear

that I came up with an alternate plan.

Alternate plan?

I'm gonna start my own
security contracting company.

My guys would follow me anywhere.

They can open up car
doors for celebrities.

- I'll be the fucking CEO.
- Sounds awfully ambitious.

Hell, no. All I need is a decent stake.

And I know exactly where
I'm gonna get it from.


This big fight that everyone on base

is throwing all their money down for.

You gotta win, though.

Not worried about it.

I've heard about the
guy you're fighting.

Be worried.

I saw him sparring the other day.

He's blind in his right eye.

How could you even know
something like that?

I totally clocked it.

He didn't see punches
coming from his right,

and it's a huge weakness.

- It is?
- Yeah.

I just hit him with a
southpaw a couple of times,

and knock the son of a bitch out.

And since everyone's betting against me,

it'll be a big payday for us.

Pack your bags, baby.

- Yeah.


Well, here I am.

Am I dreaming?

Have you finally decided
to come back to me?

I've definitely not decided
to come back to you.

Mm, well this dream sucks.

You and Davis need to switch your bets

to Sasquatch in the fight.

- This dream really sucks.
- I'm serious.

Look, I think it's nice
that you have confidence

in your boyfriend, but don't
let that get all over me, okay?

It's not that. The bodyguard,

he has a weakness that
no one knows about.

- Mm, except you?
- And Sasquatch.

Okay, what is it?

He's blind in his left eye.

[SCOFFS] Says who?

Sasquatch watched him fight.

He missed the block on every
left hook that came at him.

You said left eye, so
that'd be the right hook.

I meant right eye, left hook.

Yeah, it's the right eye.
He definitely said the right.

Look, you're not exactly giving me

the reliable source vibe at the moment.

The fuck does it matter
what eye he's blind in?

The fact is he is blind in an eye,

and Sasquatch sure as
shit knows which one...

Well, I hope Sasquatch paid
more attention than you.

I'm just trying to help you.

Yeah, about that, why?

You still care about me, right?

Alvarez told me about Davis's
family losing their home.

I figured I knew something
that could help him.


Thanks for the tip.

- I'm going now.
- Mm-hmm.

Hey, wait.


Sasquatch ever talk
to you about his work?

Like what SecCorp's doing here?

All the illegal shit they're doing?

Sasquatch and I don't
really talk about work.

Never, actually.

You don't find that weird?

How is it weird, Roback?

I mean, just, he might be
hiding something from you.

He's not hiding anything
if I just don't give a shit.

Well, maybe you should give a shit.

Maybe you should switch
your bets to Sasquatch.











You too. Get in line.


Blue 42! Blue 42!

How do you prove somebody's
blind in their right eye?

I don't know. You believe Durkin?

Believing Durkin is
more your wheelhouse.

What the fuck you doing?

Non-seeing right eye motherfucker.

We gotta change our bets.

Ah, no way.

You two come any closer,
I'm gonna have to report you.

Look, we're gonna take your advice.

We're switching our bets to Sasquatch.

Aw, tough break, girls.

You're too late. Books are closed.

You said you wanted odds on Sasquatch.

We brought you odds.

But I'm afraid it's not that simple.

What's the complication?

Well, somebody already
gave me odds on Sasquatch.

The scales are balanced.

Don't need your charity anymore.


Well, sorry. I don't kiss and tell.


Wouldn't be a crime for the man

to bet on himself, would it?

We wanna piggyback on that bet.

Please refer to my earlier answer of no.

Yo, chef.

What's the soup today?


Well, since you're asking so nicely,

looks like I have no alternative

but to accept your
late inning switcheroo.


- Under one condition.
- What condition?

If you lose, not only is
all the hashish mine,

but I'm gonna want a good amount

of cold hard cash on top.

You got it.

You two seem pretty sure of yourselves.

You know something that I don't?

We're just feeling very lucky today.

Well, I hope so.

For your sakes.

I'm gonna run these
samples back at my base.

If there's anything
that needs attention,

we can take it from there.

I have to say I'm surprised you came.

Well, I want to help people.

You helped me find a way to do that.

But this is just the beginning.

By the time I'm done, I
wanna be able to examine

pretty much everyone in this village.

Well, let's keep our
expectations under control.

- Is there running water here?
- No.

Okay, we're gonna have to
figure out a water situation.

I assume there's no generator here.

I'll have to bring one in. Fine.

Unless you think that'll
draw too much attention.

- Why are you laughing?

I have never seen you
so frantic like this.

Well, I'm frantic because I'm
risking my family and career.

The two things I stand to
lose by just being here.

And, you know, I am crazy.

I came here alone, no protection,

my CO doesn't even know that I'm here.

Why did you do that?

I am fairly certain that you like me.

Interesting theory.

You do not?

I thought I was playing it cool.


We both thought we were playing it cool.

We are both idiots.


My whole fucking life depends on this.

Don't worry, amigo. It's
all gonna go our way.

You don't know that.

I can't believe I listened to you.

You bet on NASCAR
races. Who bets on cars?

These PJ guys are legit.

Cameron's actually a pretty nice dude.

Sasquatch gotta win this.

[OVER RADIO] Anchor four.

Yeah, yeah. All right, guys, let's go.

Team Phoenix, we're out of here.

- Hey, see?
- Huh?

If we weren't grounded,
we'd be on that call.

And we'd miss the whole fight.
How fucking lucky are we?

Oh, Lord Jesus. Sasquatch gotta win.

Boxers, to your corners.
The fight is about to begin.

I can't do this. I gotta get closer.

I don't care if somebody reports...


Take it all in, Sas.

All I see are a bunch of assholes

who are about to lose their money.

If you win.


All except two.

I had a couple guys switch
their bets last minute.

They put every dime on you.

Probably 'cause you look supplemented

to oblivion, mate.

Who fucked up my odds?

Oh, it was...

Those two assholes are
about to cost me money.

Hey, don't worry about
it. Don't worry about it.


All right, everybody. Keep it down.

Hey, shut the fuck up.

Are you people ready to
see some fucking bloodshed?


Whoo. Hit it.

Now let's meet our fighters.

In the one corner, we've
got the Bull from Kabul,

the Jallalabadass, the Afghan Ali,

the man we all know and love.

Actually, I don't know his name,

but who cares, he's big and scary.

It's this guy.


And in the other corner,

the as-of-yet undisputed
son of Bigfoot himself,

here to make his daddy proud,
give it up for your boy,

SecCorp superstar, S-S-S-S-S-Sasquatch!


[WHISTLES] Let's go.


Okay, here we go. Here we go.

What are you ladies waiting for?

That means fight. Go on.


He's got him on the ropes already?

Look, Sasquatch has just gotta play

the calm before the storm, okay...

I can't watch this.

Hey, he's back. He's back.

Mess him up, baby.

- Yeah!


Khalil, give him the eight count.

- One, two, three...
- In Pashto, you twit.

- One, two, three...

- Four, five, six...

- Do you give in?

♪ ♪



One, two, three...


Four, five, six, seven...

Get the fuck up, man!

Eight. You're done.

Afghan Ali, our new winner.

I can't watch this. I can't watch this.


Wake up, baby. Please, come on.

Come on, honey.

And that's how you sell it.

What happened? He fucking had him.

We'll fix this.

It's over. I'm dead.



- How are vitals?
- He's dead.

Take him in for pronouncement.

That should have been us.