68 Whiskey (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Buckley's Goat - full transcript

(LAID-BACK BLUE ROCK MUSIC)

I love... the way...
that you fuck me.

(BOTH MOANING)

♪♪

(MOANING)

Oh, damn, Roback.

Where'd you learn
how to handle pussy like that?

I have two sisters.

I ask a lot of questions.

Ah.

One of these days,



I'm gonna get you off
while I'm still inside you.

Not possible.

Has to do with the tilt
of my uterus or something.

Trust me.

Many men have died on that hill.

- Eh, I'm not giving up.
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)

Oh, shit. Something's wrong.

I got less than 2,000 likes

and it's been up
almost three whole days.

Well, you're holding it
upside down.

Yeah, you make that AT4
look like a sewage pipe.

What's an insurgent terrorist
supposed to do with that,

renovate his bathroom?

Shit. Really?



Yeah.

Not funny.

Look, I don't get paid
unless I reach 5,000 likes.

I'm sure there are enough
horny plumbers out there

for you to achieve your goal.

When are we gonna do this again?

All depends on when I can get
my hands on the key again.

(ENGINE RUMBLING)

You have magic fingers.

You would've made
a great lesbian.

I'll take that as a compliment.

Sure it was meant to be.

♪♪

(EXHALES)

Good luck in the fight
with Sasquatch.

Sounds like you don't think
I can beat him.

Luckily for you,
doesn't matter what I think.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Why can't we have movie night
like every other base?

Now's not the time
for second thoughts, my man.

We stand to make
a lot of cash here.

Yeah, got to remember that part.

Look,
all you have to do is survive

at least three rounds
with this gorilla.

Jesus.

You couldn't get odds
on just two rounds?

I could,
but when I went up to three,

the betting pool tripled.

Bad enough
we got to share the base

with these rent-a-grunts.

Now is your chance
to get in there,

and mess that motherfucker up.

All right.

Let's go!

Now, I don't want to see
any kicking,

elbowing,
hitting below the belt.

So make bloody sure
I'm not looking when you do it.

Get to it, mates!

(UPBEAT PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

♪♪

Give it to you, Roback,
you got a lot of guts

representing your tribe
against me.

Yeah, well, everyone else
is too scared to fight you.

I'm never gonna see odds
like this again.

(CROWD GROANS)

Keep going, bro. You got it.

(GRUNTING)

- Keep your goddamn hands up!
- Shit!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Knock his ass out. Come on, man.

Damn it, block!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Yes! Yes!

♪♪

(COWBELL RINGING)

Come on, man.
Get over here, Roback.

There you go. All right.

Drink that. Right there.

Son of a bitch
ain't got a scratch on him.

He's hurting on the inside.

You better start hurting him
on the outside.

- Easier said than done, amigo.
- Okay, forget that.

You just survive this next
round without any brain injury,

and we're in for some
serious cash.

(COWBELL RINGING)

♪♪

- I'm calling it!
- What?

The winner by way
of a technical knockout,

and still champion of the
farm, Sasquatch!

(ALARM SOUNDS)

Breaker Four. AF421 is 10-16.

Thank God that's over.

That's us! RPG attack.

Mafushad village.

You and I are,
financially speaking,

dead men walking.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

♪♪

- Say again.
- You're still coming in broken.

We got your coordinates.
You sit tight.

We're coming to get you.

Dustoff 3-1 inbound.
ETA is five mikes.

Listen up.

We got a lonely friendly
in critical condition.

How's the LZ looking?

9-line came in broken.

That's all we know
about it so far.

It's usually
a friendly neighborhood,

but you know the deal.
Stay sharp.

- Give me one of those.
- Hey!

Those are for wounded
that are smart enough

not to get their ass whooped.

♪♪

Showtime.

Got movement at my one o'clock.

- Isn't that...
- Buckley, yeah.

The kid with the Avengers logo
tattooed on his back.

Let's make sure he lives
long enough to regret it.

What the hell is he doing
out here by himself?

Son of a bitch
was running a side hustle.

Damn! Probably 20 grand worth
of rugs in that truck.

- How you doing, kid?
- Are my rugs okay?

Slightly more worried
about you, Buckley.

(COUGHS)

(GASPING)

Okay.

Almost there. Almost there.

Okay, he's ready.

Okay. Ready.

- Roll him!
- Three, two, one, lift!

(COUGHING)

- You got him?
- Yeah.

Where you going?

- Load him onto the bird.
- I got another one.

♪♪

Get the litter!

Can you hear me?

Please. Do not leave me here.

You speak English?

And French and German and...

Okay, okay. No need to brag.

♪♪

In your mouth.

Sit back, relax,
enjoy the hillbilly high, okay?

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

- No, no, that's okay.
- He speaks English.

And French and German.

Better watch your back.
He'll take your job.

Now, I'm gonna roll you
on your side.

(GRUNTS)

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

What the hell
did I do to this guy?

He's demanding medical
supplies for his village.

Tell him we don't have any
to spare right now.

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

(SHOUTING IN PASHTO)

Now tell him only my mom
speaks to me like that.

(SHOUTING IN PASHTO)

He says you do this to us,
then you refuse to help.

What does he mean?

It means you do this to us,
then you refuse to help.

- Damn it, Khalil!
- What are you doing, amigo?

I ain't leaving 20 grand
on the table, either.

Buckley'd never forgive us.

BOTH: (SPEAKING PASHTO)

What'd he say?

He's saying American forces
have destroyed his village.

♪♪

Whoa. Watch his head.

Can we please take the fuck off?

Standing room only!

You're riding the bar back.

Safe travels, amigo.

Fuck!

Come on!

Let's go! I'm good.

♪♪

(MUTTERING)

(WHEEZING)

(COUGHS)

♪♪

I'm not losing him!

I'm coming in.

He's going into shock.

His lungs have been compromised.

I'm gonna decompress his chest.

Hey, hey,
look at me, look at me.

Hey, look at me.
Hey, stay with me.

Stay with me, Buckley.

You got more?

(WHEEZING)

♪♪

Come on!

(WHEEZING)

How the hell
could I have missed that wound?

♪♪

♪♪

You did all you could.

♪♪

♪♪

Time of expiration?

Roughly 1700 hours.

You okay, Sergeant?

Never been better, sir.

Tell me what happened.

- Simple. I screwed up.
- He's dead.

- Sergeant Alvarez.
- She didn't mean that, sir.

She'll be fine.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Chest wound.

Wait, I remember. Don't tell me.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

How's my accent? Be brutal.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

The patient
is required for surgery.

- Who's this?
- He's an LN.

Chest wound,
but his airway's intact.

He's still breathing.

Can't keep doing this to me,
Roback.

Yeah, I think you're taking
this all a little bit

too personally, ma'am,
but that said,

I promise this is the last time.

He should've gone to Paghman.

Taliban use that
as target practice.

It's not a hospital, it's a
goddamn shooting gallery.

Every time you bring in an LN,

it takes up limited resources,

resources needed
for the soldiers

who protect your ungrateful ass.

Yes, but he's a good kid.

Plus, like, he speaks
a hundred languages.

I can barely speak English.

You want to send somebody
to Paghman, send me.

You know I can't turn away
a wounded LN once they're here.

Assume you were
counting on that.

You know, as a medic,
you're given an absurdly

wide berth on this base.

Stop taking advantage of it.

Ma'am, with all due respect...

I hate that phrase,
"with all due respect."

It only exists to sugarcoat
no respect at all.

Don't push me, Sergeant.

- Come on, guys, wrong place.
- You know that.

Been here long enough now.
Come on.

- Where you going?
- What?

Oh, hey.

Um, no, this was just
brought in here by mistake,

but no worries,
I'm just gonna take it...

Take what?

Transporting rugs in body bags?

- They belonged to Buckley.
- We lost them on the transport.

We thought it'd be
a nice gesture

to ship them home to his family.

- "We"?
- Actually, just me.

Well, at least
you have the courage

not to take anyone else
down with you.

Those rugs are now property
of the U.S. Army.

- Yeah, but look...
- No, you just used up

your nine lives.

I'm recommending an Article 15.

You'll be stripped of your rank,

restricted from going
on more missions,

confined to base.

Now get the hell out of my OR.

Leave them!

Sergeant Smith.

Here, sir.

Sergeant Johnson.

Here, sir.

Private Petrocelli.

Here, sir.

Corporal Buckley.

Corporal John Buckley.

Colonel Austin, Corporal John
Buckley is no longer with us.

Present.

(GRUNTS)

(SAD TRUMPET MUSIC)

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Poor kid had a thing for me.

He would always
sit next to me in the DFAC

and ask the dumbest
fucking questions.

"Are you enjoying
your chicken, Sergeant?"

And I was always so mean to him.

"It's fucking chicken, Buckley.
Relax."

Now he's dead
because I missed an exit wound,

and I can't get his blood out

from under
my goddamn fingernails.

Please, leave me alone.

Should we leave her alone?

We got anything better to do?

We really don't.

You've been mucho
antisocial lately.

Gee, I wonder why.

Helped you load that boy
into the bird.

Totally missed
that exit wound, too.

You know there was zero chance

he was gonna survive
those injuries

no matter what you did.

Wow, you guys
are just making me feel

better and better about this.

Sarcasm, while hurtful,

will not diminish
our love for you.

You can't suddenly go
all soft on us.

'Cause that would suck.

Yeah.

Gotta be strong.

You know what?

This little talk helped.

I'm all better now.

Nah.

You're not leaving here
until that's true.

You know there are no other
people I'd rather be stuck

in this subtitled horror movie
with than you guys.

- Ditto.
- Yeah, ditto.

But really, this has absolutely

nothing to do
with either of you.

I bring you the ice chips.

Thank you.

You're hungry, no?

No.

Okay. When it is time,
I am here.

Patient in three
needs his bandages changed.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

They tell me you speak English.
How are you feeling?

Like I swallowed
a thousand sharp knives.

You did, I removed 43 pieces
of shrapnel from your chest.

- You saved my life.
- I'd say you're welcome,

but you never
should've been brought here

in the first place.

I'm sorry if I created problems.

It's a specialty of the medic
who brought you in.

- He is a good man.
- He is an insolent man.

But you are in my hospital now,
so you are my patient.

Sit back, relax,
and enjoy the fawning attention

from my nurses who are acting
like this is a goddamn episode

of "The Bachelor."

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Hey! Foul.

Don't argue with me.

What? Get out of here.

You're out of there.

Okay. It's gonna hurt just
a little bit, all right?

But it's good for you.

It's okay, it's okay.
You took it like a pro, kid.

Have a seat right there.

What was that? What was that?

You can't kick the goalkeeper.
Get out of here.

That's a red card.

You, too. Both of you.

I saw you.
Both of you, get out of here.

You three. Get out of here.

Get that out of here.

I'm gonna give you a shot.

It's so you don't get sick,
all right?

♪♪

(GROANS) Get out of here.

Can't be having you kicking
people in the leg.

As-salaam alaikum.

Okay.

Get out of here.

Thank you, guys.
Thank you for coming.

Well done.

The risk factor of this stunt
of yours was way high, amigo.

We were under orders to destroy
those expired vaccines.

There's a goddamn measles
epidemic in this country.

Besides, those vaccines
were all still perfectly good.

Talking about you
doing it right here

on the base
under everyone's nose.

- Didn't have a choice.
- Stuck in Holloway jail.

But I found a way to break out.

This gave me an idea.
I'm gonna need your help.

What if one of these times
I say no?

Look, we pull this off,

we'll make back all the bank we
owe from the Sasquatch fight.

I'm all the way in on that,
amigo.

Okay. I need you to volunteer

for medical waste disposal duty

while I get the key
for the supply hut from Durkin.

What makes you think
she'll give it to you?

She'll give it to me.

- Hi.
- Are you high?

Sasquatch could see us,

and he's already
getting suspicious.

You know there's a rumor
going around about us?

Shit. Fuck. God damn it.

Taking this pretty hard. Huh.

Sasquatch is my connection
to the weapons manufacturer

that pays me to model
for their Instagram.

I need that money, so could you
please not fuck this up for me?

What if I told you
I could cut you in

on an even better
financial opportunity?

What kind of opportunity?

- Less you know, the better.
- Let's just say...

there's potential
for a huge monetary upside.

Sasquatch finds out about this,

you're gonna need a coffin.

And I'm gonna need
a new revenue stream

if I have any hope
of getting my ass to LA

after this deployment.

LA?

I didn't know
you wanted to be an actress.

Gonna be
my cousin's stunt double.

Who's your cousin?

No one here knows this,
so if it gets back to me,

I'll know exactly
where it came from.

Jennifer Lawrence.

A pervy uncle says
we have the same build.

I support your dream.

It's not a dream.

What is it you want from me?

Get me back
in the medical supply hut.

Fine.

(CLEARS THROAT)

So...

you don't need anything
from Sasquatch anymore.

Dump his hairy ass, right?

Mm.

Show me the money first.

You know, you, on occasion,

can be very transactional.

I have fun with you,
Roback, I do.

And if it wasn't
so painfully obvious

you derive all your pleasure
from screwing

other guys' girlfriends
behind their backs,

I might even make the mistake
of taking this thing seriously.

But in the meantime,
Sasquatch is very good to me.

I accept your harsh
but valid criticism.

Meet me
in the supply hut in an hour.

(BOTH MOANING)

Almost.

Almost doesn't count.

- You good?
- Uh-huh.

(MOANING)

You're getting closer.

Trying something new.

It's gonna take
a little time to perfect.

Still in the R&D phase.

Sasquatch barely even knows
where my clit is.

Doesn't surprise me.

But he does have the biggest
cock I've ever encountered,

and I grew up with horses.

Didn't need to hear that.

He doesn't deserve this.

And I didn't deserve
to get pummeled by that beast.

Difference is, you asked for it.

Okay.

Pro tip.

Guilt?

Not the greatest
post-sex aphrodisiac.

You and I are
a lot alike, Roback.

Sooner you realize that,

the closer you'll come
to getting me off.

(LAID-BACK BLUES ROCK MUSIC)

♪♪

♪♪

(CHUCKLES)

- What?
- (LAUGHS)

Would never put
you and Durkin together.

Why not?

You're both too much alike.

That's what she said.

Didn't mean that
as a compliment.

I dig Durkin, man, but...

she's convinced
I'm only looking for the thrill

of doing it
behind Sasquatch's back.

I have to admit,
you do have a rather

checkered history

of appropriating
other guys' girls.

I can't help it.

Women tend to speak my language

when they're doing things
they're not supposed to.

No, we're only taking
what's been signed off on

by the medical officer.

Take that.

Pretty sure you guys are not
authorized to be in here.

Hey, man.

We were just checking
some supplies, so...

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- We're...
- Mm-hmm.

I guess we're... yeah.

- We good.
- Check.

So we're getting going.

Cool.

And it goes
without saying, but...

let's keep this little chance
encounter between us, okay?

No can do.

I'm gonna have to report this
to my relief.

Petrocelli, you know
we good people, right?

Well, yeah.

You guys are the best.

(LAUGHS) Well, there you go.

But I'm on guard duty.

And that means that I need to...

- Yeah, we know what it means.
- You can't report this.

Sorry. Gotta.

General Order number three.

Kid...

how would you like to get in
on the ground level

of an exciting
new business venture?

- Fuck, yeah.
- Yeah?

Yeah, okay.

Anybody else you want
to cut in on this deal?

How about the whole damn base?

- All right, hepatitis A.
- Perfect.

Got the small pox
vaccine in here.

I can't believe they were
gonna throw all this away.

It's okay. He knows.

Please don't tell me you cut
him in on this deal too.

The man's an integral part
of helping

set this whole thing up.

Who isn't at this point?

You are both going to finish
this later and come with me.

I have no idea why these people

are so intent
on killing each other.

Pretty sure none of you
have a fucking clue, either.

So how about we all buy

one-way airline tickets
and fly home!

Pretty sure we all
get veteran discounts,

because everyone back home
feels guilty

they sent us here...
can't remember why.

Hey, any of you got
a travel agent in your family?

I got a cousin,
works for Orbitz.

Should probably
keep that to yourself.

One of us has to stop this.

See you on the ground, amigo.

We'll go home.

We'll make America great again.

Right?

We'll do it.

What the fuck, girl?

Get it together.

You're ruining my moment.

Your moment is gonna get you
a court martial.

Let go.

Sergeant Alvarez.

Come down off the roof, now!

Unless your mom's
a travel agent,

piss off!

Really admire how you're
taking this one to the limit.

Come on.

My shit
is so fucked up right now.

I know.

(SENSUAL MUSIC)

♪♪

♪♪

(PHONE RINGING)

ALL: Happy birthday!

Happy birthday, hon.

Were you asleep?

Um... yeah.

Darn, I always get
the time difference wrong.

Sorry, babe.

Oh, it's okay.

You don't look like
you've been sleeping.

You're glowing.

Oh, it's my birthday.

BOTH: Happy birthday!

- We love you.
- We love you.

Aww!

Hell of a way to finally get
on Colonel Austin's calendar.

Needed to blow off some steam.

Remind me never
to party with you.

Yeah.

Sergeant Roback
and Sergeant Davis asked me

to intervene with Colonel
Austin on your behalf.

Gotta love those guys.

Yeah.

Look, whatever happens,

know that I'm British Pakistani,

so I know a thing or two
about being

unwelcome in your own country.

What do you mean?

Alvarez, get in here.

Bon voyage.

You hear the word "sit"?

You heard it now.

Captain Hazara
gave me a sit-rep.

Losing someone in the field
is the most traumatic

eventuality we face.

Unless of course
you're the unfortunate

son of a bitch
who's been killed.

But then you'd be dead and
probably wouldn't give a shit.

Anyway.

That display you put on
yesterday cannot be ignored.

Sounded disgraceful.

Sorry I missed it.

Ooh, I was prepared to come
down hard on you, Alvarez.

But here's the thing.

There's been a change
in your status here.

Change, sir?

I was just informed
that you've been

abruptly discharged,

so I can't take
action against you,

because you're no longer
under my command.

This is fucking bullshit...

Sorry, sir. Sir.

You're DACA. Right, Alvarez?

Yes, sir.

Then this must be related
to your MAVNI status.

Sounds like it's being revoked.

This isn't a surprise to you,
is it?

No, sir.

My father was recently deported
while washing dishes

in the worst Chinese restaurant
in El Paso

because someone didn't like
their moo goo gai pan.

That was quite evocative.

But that should have
no bearing on me, sir.

I was granted permission
to enlist under MAVNI

because of my medical skills.

And also promised citizenship.

All I know
is what I've been told.

And I've been told
you're no longer a soldier

in the United States Army.

Roback.

Student loan?

Nah, just...

just some unfinished business
from home.

That's why we're here
instead of there, right?

You all set?

How'd you manage
to get an ambulance

without Holloway
sniffing your scent?

Had Petrocelli do it.

He even old enough to drive?

- Who gives a fuck?
- It's Afghanistan.

Let's go, kid.

Never been outside the wire.

You don't want to be a fobbit,

never leaving the base.

Those guys end up
going stir crazy.

Yeah. Gotta take advantage
of all the cultural

and gastronomical delights
that Afghanistan has to offer.

Look, are you sure
this is gonna be okay?

Long as it doesn't
get back to Holloway

that Roback left the base,
we should be fine.

Come on.

All right. Thanks a lot, man.

All right.

You boys be safe.

Mm-hmm.

(ENGINE IGNITES)

Fortune favors the bold.

- What's that mean?
- Just play it cool.

Tell the guards
we're on the usual

outreach mission bullshit,

and this little stunt of ours
may just work out.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

♪♪

♪♪

Stay in the ambulance.

Where am I gonna go?

(ANIMAL VOCALIZES)

Which one is it?

No clue.

- What?
- What do you mean, "no clue"?

When Khalil set this up,
he gave you an address, right?

Yeah, but it's not
as if there are street numbers.

How are we supposed to know
which one is his?

Start knocking on doors?

Fuck that!

I'm not going around like
a goddamn Jehovah Witness.

You're pretty quick
to surrender, amigo.

'Cause I think
I recognize our bikes.

What's the Pashto for...

Who the fuck knows?

He don't speak English.
Why didn't you bring Khalil?

He refused to come.

He said venturing out here
without a convoy

would be suicide.

Thanks for passing that on.

I didn't see any reason
to invite an unwanted

cloud of doubt
over this operation, okay?

I ain't handing over shit.

Basis of all business
transactions is trust.

Not in my neighborhood.

Look...

either we're doing this,
or we're not.

Why you so worried?

(SPEAKS PASHTO)

He remind you of anyone?

Male or female?

Not gonna dignify that
with a response.

Skip through the 20 questions.

- Just get to it, amigo.
- Sasquatch.

They're both about
the same size, right?

Oh, it'd be so sweet
to see somebody

knock that son of a bitch down.

Fight like that, we'd clean up.

Get us out of that hole
you put us in

when Sasquatch whooped your ass.

You think he'd be game?

Look to me like
he'd take some convincing.

Hey. Do you fight?

You box?

Do you box a little bit?

You know what I'm talking about?

Hey, knock it off.

He's gonna think
you're really trying to fight.

You understand? Fight?

Whoa. (LAUGHS)

As-salaam alaikum.

BOTH: Wa-alaikum salaam.

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

- What was he saying?
- I don't know.

I'm tracking dirt
all over his rugs.

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

♪♪

You're welcome.

That should hold you
until Obamacare

makes its way
through these parts.

(GOAT BLEATS)

Hey.

(LAUGHS)

Hey.

Who are you?

This goat
is touched in the head.

You speak English?

And French and German.

Is he yours?

It belongs to no one.

Some think it is possessed
by spirits.

What's gonna happen to it?

It was raised
to be slaughtered for food,

but the man who owns it believes

that if he were
to eat this goat,

he would also be possessed
by those spirits.

So he set it free.

The man is an idiot.

It's a lucky goat.

No. No one here is lucky.

This goat will eventually be
killed and eaten by wild boars.

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

Okay.

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

Grade-A Afghan hashish.

I ain't going anywhere
until we sample this shit.

Well, since you're one of those

"my body is God's temple" types

and mine's a 7-Eleven,
I guess that's me?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

- Who's a good boy?
- You're a good boy.

Can you please tell me
what has happened

to my brother Qasem?

He was injured the other night
and taken to your base.

I don't know
anything about that.

I only need to know
if he's alive.

Look...

I could find out for you. Maybe.

Yes, thank you.

I will now leave you alone
with your new boz.

Boz?

Boz.

Boz.

You're possessed by spirits.

That's so fucking cool.

We good?

(LAUGHS)

I can't feel my legs.

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Whoa.

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

Just the one brick?

We had a deal.

Whoa, whoa, wait, Davis.

I'm sure we can figure this out.

He's got enough
antibiotics in there

for every man, woman,
and child in this village.

The animals, too.

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

Yeah, you better put him back.

This is some bullshit.

(SHOUTING IN PASHTO)

♪♪

I got to be honest.

I'm pretty fucked up right now.

Correction. The basis of all
getting fucked is trust.

Look, let's just take
one brick and go.

- No.
- I didn't come all the way here

from the Southside of Chicago

to get ripped off
by drug dealers.

I could've done that
back in the hood.

Okay, okay, okay.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

♪♪

Everybody cool?

♪♪

(SPEAKS PASHTO)

♪♪

I'm gonna torch this shit.

(YELLING IN PASHTO)

Now...

amigo, grab the box,
and get in the ambulance.

I ain't leaving without you.

Now, you know

that there is plenty more
medicine where this came from,

and I know that
that box of hashish

couldn't have set you back
more than a couple of Afghanis

to produce.

So it's time to do the math,
Your Honor.

Or Your Excellency or whatever.

(SPEAKING PASHTO)

Yeah.

I just realized
I'm holding iodine.

It's not flammable.
I'm pretty high.

Let's go before
they realize it, too.

(SHOUTING IN PASHTO)

♪♪

Take this.

♪♪

Where the hell is Petrocelli?

What part
of "stay in the ambulance"

did he not fucking get?

(GOAT BLEATS)

Oh, wow.

You were thirsty, weren't you?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

♪♪

Oh. I hope you remember
which way we came from.

'Cause I sure don't.

♪♪

- Drop your weapon.
- Put your hands up.

Identify yourself.

- Private Anthony Petrocelli!
- United States Army!

That's not my goat, I...
You lost?

Uh... I...

Think he was talking
to the goat.

What the fuck
are you doing here, Roback?

There's a great little place
here that has the best kebabs.

- You good?
- Am I gonna get in trouble?

No. These guys
have no authority over us.

You told me
the entire area was secure.

Is there a problem?

- No problem.
- Should be moving along shortly.

Glad to hear it.

- Who the fuck's that guy?
- Looks really important.

Heard Major Holloway
confined you to base,

so you being out here
is a clear violation

of a direct order.

You're not gonna tell on me,
are you?

You men need to stay
far away from here.

Why would we do that?

You're so far over your head,
Roback, you have no idea.

(HORN HONKS)

Sounds like you better
get going.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

♪♪

The fuck was that?
A fucking dance move?

(ENGINE TURNS OVER)

♪♪

What was that all about?

Who gives a shit?

Better get back to base
before my absence is felt.

Where the hell are we?

Came from that way.

So are you guys ready to tell
me what it is we're doing here?

BOTH: No!

♪♪

Where's Boz?

Motherfuck!

Who did this?

If it was Taliban,
we'd all be dead.

Oh, God.

Now we got no way to get back,

the sun's going down,

and we're not even
supposed to be here.

Not to mention
the 10 pounds of hashish

we got strapped to our backs.

Hashish?

Let's do this.

I signed that ambulance out
under my name.

They are gonna make pay for it,
aren't they?

Kid, on the slim chance
we make it back to base alive,

they're gonna make us all pay.

Come on.