When Nature Calls (2021–2022): Season 1, Episode 5 - My Jingle Balls - full transcript

A rabbit attacks a water buffalo; a celebrity bear tries to answer interview questions while eating increasingly prickly cacti; a falcon wearing yoga pants.

[ Birds chirping ]


Mirren: Earth is our home.

And yet, there is so much more
about this miraculous world

that we have yet to explore.

A host of fascinating,
mysterious life‐forms.

Transformer bug: TBH,
I don't even know what I am,

or why I can do thi‐i‐i‐s!

Mirren: Humankind has longed
to communicate

with the animal world,

to peel back layers
of evolution

and peer directly
into the minds ‐‐

and souls ‐‐
of our animal brethren.

[ Seals barking ]

Lion: Wait. Humans want
to do what, now?

Monkey: Peer into our minds
and souls?

Elk: Personally,
I'm still hung up

on that "peel back the layers"

Mirren: Now, we have come closer
than ever before

to understanding what
these creatures yearn for...

Monkey: I just want a roof
over my head.

...what they strive for...

Red‐faced vulture: A meal
I don't have to fight for!

...and what they live for.

Brown caterpillar: I just want
to be a branch, baby!

Check it out!



Mirren: Join us now, as we hear
the universal truths

which echo within every corner
of our miraculous world.


[ Pecking ]

Woodpecker: [ Clears throat ]
Um, hi!

Someone's in here.

Uh, occupied.

God, someone is
in here!

Oh, God!
I can't believe this!

[ Toilet flushes ]

If there's one thing
I hate,

it's a tiny pecker.



This planet is a feast
for the senses.

But Earth itself
is also a literal feast

for every animal who derives
sustenance from her bounty,

from lush greens
and succulent fruits

to the prey animals feasted
upon by carnivorous alphas.

Which reminds me ‐‐

has anyone ever eaten penguin?

I mean, I‐I'm not saying
I want to eat a penguin myself.

I mean, of course I don't, but
I'm just a little bit curious

about what they taste like.

But n‐not enough to eat one.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
They're much too cute.

But...I might lick a penguin.


We travel now
to the Sonora Desert of Mexico,

where the importance
of a good meal

isn't lost
on these black bears.

Announcer: And now it's time
for "Spiky Ones,"

the show with prickly questions
and even pricklier cacti.

This week, actor Damon Grizzly
steps up to the cactus patch.

Sean: Damon, you ready
to eat cactus?

Damon: Nom nom, bitch.


[ Crunches ]
[Bleep] That's sharp.

That's ‐‐ That's like
French‐kissing the guy

from "Hellraiser"!

You just starred
in the hit crime drama

"Bear of Easttown."

How'd you learn
that accent?

[ Crunching ] Agh!


Can't think right now.

Feels like
I'm gargling tacks.

And coming up,
things only get spikier.

I gotta ask ‐‐ any truth
to the rumors

about you and Doja Cat?

[ Burps ] Sorry.

Needle burp.
[ Burps ] Ah!

Flavor's good. Spikes are bad.
But no, no, no.

We're just ‐‐
We're just friends. Ooh.


Ow. Ow!
And what's one thing
your fans don't know about you?

[ Sputtering ]

My mouth is filled
with blood.

"Spiky Ones,"
right after that show

where Action Bronson
eats spaghetti

out of a Timberland boot.


An animal's place within the
social structures of the wild

is reflected in how
they present themselves.

The silverback gorilla
thumps his mighty chest

to display dominance.

The peacock unfurls
its resplendent plumage

to lure a mate.

And if you're my producer,

then you come to work
in flip‐flops

and a stained hoodie
because, evidently,

it's no big whoop to work
alongside Dame Helen Mirren.

Jerry: I'm sorry.
It was laundry day.

Oh, Jerry, please.

You've got those same
cargo shorts

in three different colors.

Tomorrow, you wear a tuxedo
or you don't bother coming in.

Yes, ma'am.

The melanistic coyote

must always present itself
as a cunning alpha predator,

for in the wild, you never know
who may be watching.


Wolf: Water shooting
through the sky?

It looks like a trap.

Yet I am the wolf,
fearless and bold.

I shall approach it.

[ Giggles ]

Misty rainbows on my fur!

Antelope: Hey, Wolf!

Were you just frolicking?


'Cause it looked like

you were about to frolic
in the mist.

No, I was not.
I'm a noble wolf.

I don't frolic.

Boy, you were frolicking
right near that mist.

You are mistaken.

I don't frolic, I don't cavort,
and I do not scamper.

Hey, hey, relax.

Everyone deserves
to frolic now and then.

No, no, no. No!
Not me!

I got important stuff to do ‐‐
hunt, forage, strike fear.

I gotta go
to the store later.

Hey, I ain't judgin'.
I don't do shame.

Live your truth, Wolf!

I'm gonna give you
your privacy.

[ Singsong voice ]
Frolic away!

I'm not frolicking!


And now it's time for...


Chipmunk: [ Laughs ]
Whoa! Hey, Tarsier.

Did you know
that Stanley Tucci

is Emily Blunt's

Yeah, I know!
I had the same reaction.

Sorry for the confusion.

This has been...


There is no environment on Earth

as mysterious as the ocean.

Nebulous, impenetrable,

and really, really wet.

The seas contain countless
fascinating creatures,

nearly all of them
fairly gross to look at.

I mean, it's just a bunch
of underwater bugs and snakes

and things with pinchy claws.

Let's just say you're not gonna
see me snorkeling anytime soon,

so hard pass on oceans.


Sharing an already
mystifying habitat

can make for strange bedfellows,

as with the sand goby
and its neighbors

in the shallows
of the Baltic Sea.


All: Hi, Mrs. Doyle.
Are you okay?

Little fish: We saw smoke coming
out of your apartment.

[ Mrs. Doyle coughs ]

[ All coughing ]

Oh, hi, kids.

Mrs. Doyle is
ju‐u‐u‐st fi‐i‐ne.

[ All coughing ]

What's that smell?

[ Coughs ]

That's oregano.

Totally legal oregano.

Yeah, I'm making a big
bowl of spaghetti.

[ All coughing ]

Actually, that sounds
really good.

Can you kids
do me a favor?

‐Um, okay.

‐What do you need?
‐I guess so.

Run to the store

and grab me
some garlic bread.

And something crunchy.

[ Coughing ]
Salt and vinegar chips.

Oh, and gelato.

Let me get a pen and a paper.
I gotta write this down.

[ Coughing ]
You sure you're okay?

This is the best I've felt
since my divorce.

I love you kids.
[ Coughs ]

I love
this neighborhood,

and I really love
this oregano.

[ All coughing ]

You smell like
our band teacher.


[ Squawking ]

And now another chapter

from the legendary
fantasy series...

Bird: Alas! You have reached
the Keeper of the Marsh.

Thou shalt not step foot
into this swampy morass

until you pass a series
of brain testing conundrums.

Only the strongest of mind
may enter.

Bird: Oh, um, okay.

I didn't realize this
marsh had a keeper.

It does!
'Tis me.

If you'd like to proceed,

you must first solve
these riddles three.

First things first
is riddle number 1,

the most difficult riddle
under the sun.

What is the name of the street
that you grew up on?

That's the riddle?
[ Scoffs ]

That sounds more like
a privacy question.

I don't like giving personal
information to strangers.

Nope! You have failed my first
puzzle, but do not fret.

There is more to do.

It is time to hear
riddle number 2.

What is your father's
middle name?

Okay, that's definitely one
of my privacy questions.

These are not riddles.

Are you trying to, like,
hack into one of my accounts?

I‐I know not
what you speak of.

I am merely the humble
Keeper of the Marsh.

It is time
for riddle number 3,

and this one will be
more riddley.

There is one man who
can only tell the truth

and another man
who can only tell lies.

They are travelling together
across a river by boat.

What are
the last four digits

of your
Social Security number?

I'm done with this.

Uh, uh,
bonus riddle points

if you also tell me
the first three digits

and the middle two digits.

What are you doing?
What are you ‐‐

Are you just gonna walk
right by me?

Someday this is gonna work

and I'm gonna be able
to buy that Jet Ski.

[ Squawking ]

That was the final episode

of the now canceled
fantasy series...


Mirren: We may assume
that social niceties

play no role
in an animal interaction,

but, in fact, they do.

From frogs
with personal‐space issues

to a llama
with a staring problem.

I mean, honestly,
take a picture, champ.

It'll last longer.

Civility is a factor
in all relationships on Earth.

We must consider whether our
intrusion into another's space

can disrupt a delicate
social balance,

like when a giant river otter
crosses paths with a leopard

on the banks
of the mighty Amazon.


Leopard: Oh, is that salmon?
Looks yummy.

Excuse me.
Was that on the menu?

It's poached salmon.

Yeah, it's the special.

I'm keto,
so, you know, I just ‐‐

Okay, thanks.

Are you keto?

Man, you know,
it really changed my life.

You should try it.

It's all about ditching
the carbs

and grains and sugars.

You know, I got constipated
at first,

but the thing is ‐‐

Oh, my God.

Keto people are
even worse than vegans.

Wow! I'd love to hear
more details about that,

but I just remembered
I have to move my seat

to a completely
different restaurant.

I'll tell you more
about the benefits

of my keto lifestyle
when you come back.



Animal communities
are only as strong

as their weakest member,

which is probably why meerkats
can never really pull together

a competitive softball team.

Plus, they don't have
opposable thumbs,

which makes most sports
pretty tricky.

Amid the stresses of life
in the wild,

collective unification can be as
impactful as it is challenging,

as we'll see
with a teeming ant colony

on the forest floor
of Central Africa.

Bill: With a breaking story
from the WNC News Desk,

I'm Bill Talon.

The labor stoppage continues,

as the ants demand
that all anthill work

now be done remotely,

which, honestly, kinda goes
against the whole

ant colony vibe.

Clearly, these guys
are a bit confused.

Ch'ant leader:
What do we want?!

Together: Ants!

When do we want them?!


Beetle: Wow! Message
is kinda muddled,

but you gotta admire
their solidarity.

The ants united
will never be divided!

Ants, ants‐ants!

Ants‐ants, ants‐ants,
ants‐ants, ants!

Crap! Crap!
Sorry, guys.

Can I, uh ‐‐
Can we start ‐‐

I get ‐‐ I didn't ‐‐ I can't ‐‐
I can't get it right.

More on this story
as it develops.

Now to our special report
on platypuses.

Seriously, what's their deal?


Announcer: And now more...

Chipmunk: Hey, Tarsier.

Okay, did you know
that your species

only lives for 12 years
at the most?

Oh, sorry.

I'm guessing you
did not know that.

Sorry, once again,
for the confusion.

This has been...


Mirren: Grooming and cleanliness
are not commonly associated

with our animal brethren.

Case in point, this guy

and this guy.

Also, this guy.

Uh, yeah, they all look like
they smell great.

Wild animals are generally free

of social expectations
on their appearance,

but some
still put in the effort,

as with this Northern Sea Otter
in the waters of Alaska.


Hey! Ollie the Otter here.

A lot of you have been
sliding into my DMs...

Whoop! Rinse spin!

...asking me what I do to keep
my face so silky smooth.

And the answer is simple ‐‐

I use Dove Body Wash

and I eat my wife's placenta.

[ Laughs ] Just kidding.

I don't use body wash.

Rinse spin number two
comin' a‐through.

Whoop! [ Laughs ]

Patting my head
and rubbing my belly?

Yep, I'm a legend.

Rinse spin. Whoo!

Exfoliation nation, baby.

My cheeks are gonna be smoother

than a "Real Housewives"
forehead after a Botox party.

Rinse spin!

But, seriously, all you need is
a little sea water,

strong scrubbing hands,
and a smile.

Take it from me, Ollie,

the clean,
placenta‐eating otter.

[ Laughs ]



Life on this planet exists
in a stunning variety of forms,

a never‐ending tapestry
of astonishing creatures.

And yet, I'm kinda in the mood
to look at some wolves.

[ Howling ]
I love wolves.

[ Laughs ] You know, I've got
this totally badass T‐shirt.

It's got three wolves
howling at the moon.

I‐I won it playing Pop‐a‐Shot
at a carnival.

I'm really, really good
at Pop‐a‐Shot.

Wolves are bold,


and have a lot of back hair.

They remind me of a ‐‐
a young man I used to know.

We travel now to the Arctic

to see how the white wolf
interacts with its neighbor,

the alpine marmot.


[ Birds chirping ]

♪ A‐do do do do do ♪

Aww, a mother and her kids.
How sweet.

[ Suckling ]

Wolf: Um, excuse me.
What are you staring at?

And she's occupied.

Uh, I'm not staring
at you, at all. I swear!

Oh, so because I'm
a nursing mother,

I can't be attractive?

No, no, that's not it at all.
You're very pretty.

And now you're
objectifying me.

No, no. That's not
what I'm saying.

So you're shaming me

for feeding my children
in public!

I would never sully
such a beautiful,


Listen, pal, this is
a natural experience

between a mother
and her three ‐‐

or four ‐‐ kids.

I don't have shame.

You're the one
with the shame!

Sorry! I just don't know
where to look!

Look away!

I'm trying really hard
not to look,

but all I can think about
is not looking

and it's making me look!

Ugh! Men.

Easy down there.

I'm your mother,
not a chew toy.

[ Suckling ]


Announcer: And now more...

Chipmunk: Yo, Tarsier!

Did you know that
Ashton Kutcher's first name

is actually Christopher?

[ Chuckling ]
Yeah, surprising, right?

I guess Chris Kutcher doesn't
have the same ring to it.

Also, did you know
that your species,

the tarsier,
actually yawns

by opening its eyes
super wide?

Ohhh, I get it.

So I've been boring you
this whole time.

Well, here's another
fun fact for you ‐‐

you can go
[bleep] yourself.

Yeah, yeah, we know.

This segment is
completely mislabeled,

but we're just gonna
see it through, okay?

This has been...


In the natural world,

life exists in a constant
cycle of renewal.

The sun rises and sets,

the tides crest and ebb,

and mountains ‐‐

well, they pretty much just sit
on their fat asses

for a couple million years
or so.

For the creatures of Earth,
each day is journey,

another chapter
in an ongoing tale.

And if you're lucky,

there's another episode
just around the corner.

"When Nature Calls."

[ Birds chirping ]

Buffalo: Good morning, Rabbit.
Beautiful day, isn't it?

Bad Bunny: Did you just say
all rabbits

are a bunch of promiscuous,
chocolate egg‐layin',


No, I didn't say
anything like that.

Oh, now you're callin' me
a hoppin' liar!

I don't want any trouble, okay?
I‐I'm leaving.

That's it [bleep]

It's on, Buffalo!
Let's do this!

I'm gonna get you,
you shaggy [bleep]

tiny‐horn‐havin' loser!

You think you can
talk [bleep] to me?!

[ Panting ]
Do you know who I am?

You're dead [bleep]
Oh, God.


Please, sir,
don't hurt me!

Why are you
doing this?!

Because what I lack
in size,

I make up for in dangerous

You picked the wrong
bunny [bleep]

Buffalo Jesus, help me!



Mirren: Terra.

El mundo.



She goes by many names,

this dynamic blue planet
of ours...



Llama: [ Chuckles ]
I call her Big Crusty.

Mirren: We count her wonders.

We number the colors
in her spectrum.

Squirrel: 'Kay, where's
she going with this?

Mirren: And though we say
her name a thousand ways,

the ones who speak
the true language of Earth

are the animals.

Squirrel: Wow! Long walk,
little payoff.

Mirren: We may never achieve
the natural,

inborn wisdom
of the animal kingdom,

as they speak a complex language
derived from pure instinct.

Lizard: Oh, my God.

I peaked in high school,
didn't I?

So we must humble ourselves

before the true masters
of this terrestrial town

and learn from them

the wisdom that resides
in each majestic voice.


Jingle balls bird:
[ Humming "Jingle Bells" ]

Monkey #1:
Dude, that's him!

Monkey #2:
The balls guy?

Oh, not again.

Ask him. Ask him!

Um...show us your balls!

[ Jingling ]
You mean these?

My jingle balls?

[ Laughter ]
Go ahead and laugh.

Yes, take a good look
at my jingle balls.

My neck‐sticles.
My chin‐gleberries.

My big throat sack
of Christmas cheer.
Oh, man!

[ Laughter ]

That's it.

I've got to go back
to wearing turtlenecks.


Mirren: The natural world is
an expansive, ominous,

and sometimes
intimidating place.

But beneath its exterior,

you'll find that Earth
is a pretty approachable joint.

It's almost like your favorite
neighborhood bar ‐‐

filled with quirky characters,

pretty solid jukebox,

maybe even
a Golden Tee machine.

So pull up a barstool, friend,
and give a listen.

For even a creature as alien
to us as the orchid mantis

has a strongly drawn
perspective to share.


[ Creature calling ]

Spider: Yo, are those
space pants you got on?

'Cause I can see
myself in them.

Mantis: Excuse me?
What is it you just said to me?

Uh...you look good
in your pants?

It's a nice compliment.

You should be flattered
at how nice I'm being.

First of all,
those would be my legs.

Second, I should not be
anything, least of all flattered

by some loudmouth
Charlotte's Web's mistake child.

Because let me tell
you something.

I am already acutely aware
that I look damn good,

so I do not,
I repeat do not need

any itsy‐bitsy spider‐boys

invading my personal space
to let me know

what I already
dang well know.


Oh, oh, and
n‐n‐n‐news flash.

None of this is for you.

I look this good for me,

which is something your
poppy seed brain cannot compute

because you, arachno'joke,
believe me to be

merely an object
for your viewing pleasure.

I, uh ‐‐
No, I was trying ‐‐

Speaking of viewing,
I find it g'astonishing

that you can have
eight whole eyeballs

and still fail to see
that women

do not find your sad
lil' antics cute.

I, uh ‐‐ I‐I see
what you mean, but ‐‐

So I ask you again,
you not‐so‐exotic pet

for a lonely teen boy,
what is it you just said to me?

I don't want to repeat it.
I‐I'm sorry, Mrs. Mantis.

That's Ms. Womantis
to you.

♪ She's Janice,
the feminist mantis ♪

Gender is a construct.


Mirren: As we explore this wild,
expansive world,

it can be tempting
to ascribe human qualities

to animal behavior.

And if you're
the ABC Television Network,

it can also be
somewhat profitable.

But as much as we project
upon these creatures,

some questions persist.

Do they have deeper desires?

Can they experience
romantic love?

And if so, why don't they
return my texts?

Did I come off as too needy?

One thing is certain ‐‐

These animals can have

that suggest a depth
and connection

usually reserved for humans,

as glimpsed in these
Indian Elephants in Bangladesh.


Elephant #1: [ Chuckles ]
Don't be silly.

I'm sure we still
remember how to kiss.

was only a year.

Elephant #2: You're right.
It's like riding a bike.

Pucker up.

Both: Mmmmwaaahaaaah.




Just tell me if this
is too much tusk.


From a romantic interlude in
the jungles of southeast Asia,

we journey
to the African savannah

to witness a more
combative exchange,

between a pair
of headstrong impalas.

Impala #1: Hey, tough guy,
you just snaked my parking spot.

Impala #2: Oh,
was that one yours?

'Cause I didn't see
your name on it.

Yeah, but I bet you
saw my blinker.

[ Grunting ] Maybe I was just
trying to get to my movie

so I didn't miss
the trailers.

Wait, that's what
I was doing, too.

The trailers are...

Together: The best part!

You seeing
the new Spider‐Man?

Yep. 7:30 show?

You buy ahead online

or more of a get 'em at
the box office kind of guy?

Oh, online of course.

That way I can reserve
my favorite seat.

Get out! You have
a favorite seat, too?

Sure do, it's ‐‐

[ Grunting ]
23B is my favorite seat.

No, it's my favorite.

And tonight, it is also
my assigned seat!

I don't care what
your ticket says.

I've been sitting there
my whole life.

They started assigned seating
at this theater

like a year ago,
you mor‐‐

Hey, hey!
Where you going?!

To buy some caramel corn and
claim what's rightfully mine!

Well, I hope you choke
on that caramel corn,

which is also
my favorite movie snack!


Amidst the unpredictable
threats of the wild,

animals are not afforded the
luxury of savoring their meals.

They must consume
whatever is available...

hungrily, desperately,

and while hunched
over the kitchen sink

so as not to dirty a plate.

But every now and then,

an animal will have
the peace and time

to enjoy
their hard‐won sustenance,

as with this peckish pika
in the Northwest Territories.

Announcer: You asked for it,
so here it is.

Garlic Basket's never‐ending
pasta is back,

but this time,
instead of bowls,

we're serving you one long,
endless noodle.

Pika: I've been here
since yesterday.

All for the low,
low price of $9.99.

So come on down
to a‐Garlic Basket

and a‐fill your gluttonous ass

with more food than anyone
should eat in‐a one sitting.

Why are you doing this?

Because I'm a‐sick a‐man

who can only get turned on

by watching people
a‐stuffa their face.

What? What did he say?

Don't worry about what I‐a say.

Come on‐a down,
take off‐a your shirt,

and eat yourself‐a sick.

Only at Garlic Basket.



Elephant: Hi, there,
boys and girls.

Welcome back to "Where's Daryl?"

Do you know where
Daryl's hiding today?

‐I see him!
‐He's there!

‐He's right there!
‐Behind the tree!

I feel like it's, uh,

maybe getting a little bit
too easy

to find Daryl.

‐He's there!
‐He's still right there.

‐There he is.
‐Behind the tree.

‐I see him
‐You'll, uh ‐‐

You'll never find me.

We're kinda running out of
places to hide Daryl,

I guess, here in
Season 12 of "Where's Daryl?"

You know, I can't
leave the house without

4‐year‐olds recognizing me,
and shouting "Where's Daryl?"

‐Right there!
‐Behind the tree!

You're Daryl!

Yeah, it, uh ‐‐ i‐it ruined
my first marriage.

Oh, yeah?

I went to Juilliard,
and this is what I'm doing.

Forget Daryl.
Where's my dignity?

‐We don't know.
‐It's gone forever!

[ Sighs ]


Mirren: The world can be rough
and unforgiving

from the arid deserts,
to the punishing seas,

to a big box store parking lot
on a Saturday.

I send my husband inside
to grab stuff,

while I just circle
'round in the car.

That's my technique.

In the wild, animals will often
pool their resources

and share in the effort
that survival demands.

But even in close‐knit

differences abound,
like between two chimpanzees

in the forests of Guinea.

[ Animal howling ]

[ Chimpanzee grunting ]

Oh, boy, good thing
you called me.

You got quite a clog here,
my friend.

[ Grunts ]

Chimpanzee #2:
Thanks for rushing out.

Are the noises

Well, I apologize if the effort
of a humble plumber

is distracting.

[ Grunts ]
That's fine.

But why aren't you
wearing pants?

I was told it was an emergency
and ran right over.

But if you prefer,
I can stop work, head home,

and select a pair of slacks
that are to your liking.

Just fix
the toilet, please.

I will.
After a quick lunch break.

[ Munching ]

Did you wash
your hands?

Boy, pants
and hand‐washing.

You certainly are
Mr. Lah‐Dee‐Dah.

Oh, and that smell coming
from the pipes.

Yeah, that's not the pipes.
That's yours truly.

Tell ya what. I'll just hop
in your shower and hose off.

Um, okay.

[ Scrubbing ]
Oh, your loofah feels great

on my backside.

Ohh. Ugh!


Mirren: As we explore and
interpret the animal kingdom,

we may be tempted
to paint certain species

with the same broad,
reductive strokes.

All lions are proud.

All swans are flatulent.

And all toucans love
sugary breakfast cereals.

It can be easy to forget
that these species

are comprised
of individual creatures,

each with
a distinct personality,

and with their own fascinating
way of expressing themselves.

As we'll see with these
ostentatious caterpillars

in the jungles of Brazil.

WuCraul: On the next
"WuCraul's Worm Race"...

Ladies, you all blew me away
with the last challenge.

But now you must wiggle
for your life!

Leeza Delicious.

Leeza Delicious: Yaaaas!

WuCraul: Janae Jupiter.

Janae Jupiter: Serving you
upside‐down realness, honey.

WuCraul: And Veronica L'Amore.

Veronica L'Amore:
Take this shimmy, bitches.

Mama came to slay today.

Donya Ice: No shade, but
was that a shimmy or a seizure?

WuCraul: Who will writhe
and survive?

And who will squirm away?

Find out on the next
"WuCraul's Worm Race".

May the best worm win.

[ Laughs ]

Impala #1: Hey, tough guy.
Hope you liked the movie.

Impala #2: I loved it.

I especially loved
watching it from my seat.

Oh, it is on!

[ Grunting ]
Did you like the movie?

[ Grunting ]
I didn't see the movie.

I was waiting
outside for you!

So you wasted $16
just so you

could wait outside
to fight me?

It was actually $19 because of
the service fee online.

They always get you with that,
don't they?

They really do.

You know, I try to do my best
to add a few bucks in my head ‐‐

In my head so I'm never
surprised by the service charge!

Wow, we ‐‐ we have a lot
in common, don't we?

We kind of
look alike, too.

My...dad had antlers that were
the same shape as yours.

I'm pretty sure most impalas
have antlers

that are this shape.

[ Sobbing ]
Why did you leave us?!

Whoa, I'm not your dad.
I literally just met you today.

Then why do you look
so much like my dad?!

I don't know, man.

I think maybe you're just seeing
what you want to see?

Where you going?

I think I need to go process
some things.

Good luck on your journey,

Oh, uh, I mean,
guy I just met.


Falcon: No big deal.

So you accidentally wore
your wife's

zebra print leggings to work.

It happens all the time.

Honest mistake.
Nobody's staring.

Everyone understands
your situation.

You're getting dressed
in the dark,

you pull on your wife's exotic
yoga pants, you go to work.

Could've happened to anybody.

Are the guys staring? No.

Just act normal
and eat your mud.

It was an honest mistake,

one which I'm sure
plenty of guys have made before.

No one's staring.
You're fine.

Man, these things
are comfortable.


For animals and humans,

social groups are essential
to survival.

From flocks of birds
to herds of elephants,

clustering together promotes

physical safety
and mental well‐being,

and therefore flocking
is very flocking important.

[ Laughs ] Sorry.

Did you see what I did there,

Jerry: Yep, that's a solid pun,
Dame Helen.

Thank you.

Yes, a solitary existence
can lead

an animal inward
toward strange behavior

as evidenced by this sika deer
in the forests of Japan.

Malik: Mm, mm, mm, mm.

Oh, Felix, mm, you smoky
hot musky monster!

Your breath is so...fresh.

Is that natural toothpaste
you use?

Grandma: Malik?

[ Gasps ] Grandma?

Are you making out
with that tree?

He's not a tree.

He's the rich future
father of my three

half‐deer‐half‐tree babies.

Boy, get inside the ‐‐
Wait. Did you say rich?

What's his
credit score?


790 ‐‐ Malik, you better lock
that man‐tree down.

Oh, Granny, I literally
marked my territory, sis!

[ Laughs ]
I know that's right.

Mm, mm, mm.



Impala #1: You know what?
No more fighting.

Impala #2: Agreed.
Let's shake on it.

To friendship.

To the son
I never knew I had.

Uh, to friendship.

Uh, I think maybe we're ‐‐
Are we ‐‐

[ Grunting ]
I think we're stuck.

[ Laughs ] Classic us.

Getting our antlers
stuck together

while celebrating
our friendship.

Yep, probably the craziest thing
that's happened to us

since we first met
three hours ago.

And to think, we were fighting
over movie theater seats.

it's not that petty.

The bond between an animal and
his favorite movie theater seat

is sacred.

Oh, so we're doing
this again?

[ Grunting ] We are.

And I think this cycle
of us agreeing

and then disagreeing
will continue for an eternity.

[ Grunting ] Oh, yeah?
Well, I disagree.



Mirren: You know, people ask
why I, of all people,

would lend my voice and my name
to a show such as this.

And the answer is
stunningly simple.

I have gambling debts.

But there is another reason
that's simpler still.

I possess a deep, abiding love
for the animal world.

And there is one species
for whom [chuckles]

if you'll pardon the pun,

I will always stick my neck out.

The "guy‐raffe."

I've always loved guy‐raffes.

Jerry: I'm sorry.
Can we stop there?

Is there a problem, Jerry?

Just a slight mis‐read.

It's actually pronounced

Oh, please.
To‐mah‐to, tomato.

Aluminium, aluminum.

You say "giraffe."
I say "guy‐raffe."

And, Jerry, you know, do not
give me performance notes.

It really makes me angry,

My apologies.

Now, let's take a look at one
of my other favorite animals,

the noble white wolf,
in the wilds of northern Canada.

Wolf #1: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Who's the new guy?

Wolf #2: He's the new
foreign exchange student.

From Spain.

[ Spanish guitar music plays ]

Together: Ay, dios mio.

Nerdy guy wolf:
[ Nasally ] Oh, hello.

How are you ladies
this blustery morning?

I thought you
were from Spain?

Yeah, shouldn't you have
a sexy accent?

Oh, I'm actually from
Spain, Wisconsin.

It's a suburb
of Milwaukee.


Do either of you ladies
have a Kleenex?

I feel a pretty heavy nosebleed
coming on.


Qué lástima.

You know, my family does have
a summer home in Greece.

Oh, exciting.

That's sexy.

Greece, Minnesota.

Got it.

It's a two and a half hour
drive with no traffic.

But I actually prefer traffic

because it is
a great opportunity

for me to get to know
my parents better.

You know what?

I think I'm gonna cast
a wider net.

Maybe start
dating some dingoes.

Yeah, good call.

Mirren: Another journey into
the realm of the wild

now draws to a close.

Another glimpse at
the fascinating dynamics

of the animal kingdom.

And for me, the conclusion
of another successful voice‐over

recording shlesshion.

"Session". Oh, damn!

Oh, God, I was so close.
Oh, well.

Anyway, join us again
next time

when nature calls.

Rosci: I'm Rosci, and you're
watching "106 & Wildlife Park,"

your favorite hip‐hop and R&B
music video countdown show.

And coming in at
the number 1 spot today

is "Hibernate with You,"
by Honey Drop.

Keep it locked.

[ Applause ]

Honey Drop: Hey, girl,
my love for you is un‐bear‐able.

♪ I want to gain some weight ♪

♪ Mm‐mmm ♪

♪ I want to wake up late ♪

♪ Like 2:00 p. m. ♪

♪ I want to forn‐i‐caaaaaate ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ And then hibernate ♪

♪ Mm, mmm ♪

♪ I want to hydrate ♪

♪ Ha ha ♪

♪ Talk about the fish I ate ♪

♪ Sea bass or salmon now ♪

♪ I want to forn‐i‐caaaaaate ♪

♪ And then hibernate ♪

I'm sorry for mauling you.

That's just my biology.
♪ Mm‐hmm ♪

Oh, and I'm sorry for eating
your kids, too,

when we ran out of food.

That's part of my biology, too.

Hey, want to go to TGI Fridays
before they close?

I have a gift card.
♪ With you ♪

Ah, you're still mad
about them babies, huh?

I understand.
♪ Yeah ♪