The Wild Wild West (1965–1969): Season 4, Episode 13 - The Night of the Pelican - full transcript

West and his temporary partner Jeremy Pike investigate a Chinese gangster's theft of rare explosives from a San Francisco armory. Artemus Gordon (Martin) is said to be on desk duty in ...

( country theme playing )

Eleven o'clock sharp.
Time to go in.

Hope it isn't
a wild goose chase.

Her note said that
it could lead us to Chang.

It's worth the risk.

( traditional Chinese
theme playing )

May I help you?

Could we have table seven?

Table seven?

This way, please.


So the note said we wait
for a message.


"The goddess Kuei

shall point the way
to the bandit Chang."

Same thing.

Who's the goddess Kuei?

Kuei is the most
powerful and wicked

of all the Chinese witches.

What does she look like?

Well, it is said that
she wears a mask of evil

to hide her face,

and that the mask is so ugly,

that all who gaze
on it are terrified.

Like that one over there?

Exactly like that one.

( chuckles )

That's her.

( fireworks exploding )

Pardon me,
did you happen to see

three waiters
go through here?

Yeah, they came through here,

went right up
that ladder over there.

( action theme playing )

She's been trying
to say something,

but so far, no go.

( softly ):

( upbeat Western theme playing )

All right, gentlemen.

Get a hold of him.

Jim, how are you?

Fine, lieutenant.
How are you?

I don't think you know
my friend, Jeremy Pike.

He's my partner.

They married Artie
to a desk in Washington

for a few months.

This is Lieutenant
Tom Bengston.

Why is the secret service
interested in a local killing?

Name Din Chang
mean anything to you?

Yeah. We've been trying
to get our hands on him

for quite a while,
but he's been too slippery.

He finally knocked over
a government storage depot.

That's how we got brought
into it.

We got a note
from a little lady,

saying she could
lead us to Chang,

but we never quite
got to talk to her.

I take it no one saw anything.

If they did, they don't
want to talk about it.

Unfortunately, we don't even
know the girl's name.

Can't help you there.

But I do know his name.
He's Johnny Dirk.

Johnny Dirk?

This can't be Johnny Dirk,

Johnny Dirk
is serving a long stretch

in Fort Alcatraz.
Aren't you, Johnny.

Hey, Johnny, how did you manage
to get away?

And what happened to--
To your friends?

Why did they leave so hastily
and where did they go?

And why was
the girl killed?

I think you'd better
get him out of here

for the time being.

We'll discuss this
with him later.

I still can't figure Din Chang
breaking into an arsenal.

He never had too much trouble
laying hands on guns before.

How about fulminate
of mercury?

That's all he took.
Ten barrels of it, Tom.

That's very special stuff.

He could blow up
half the city.

That's what we thought.

This is all she had with her,

Could I hold on to these
things for a while, Tom?

I don't see why not.

Well, I'm going to head back,

try to get Johnny Dirk
to open up,

but don't depend on it.

Talk to you later.

Here we are,
no closer to Chang,

and unfortunately
we have a dead girl

that no one seems to know.

Or do they?

Last time I saw one of these,

it was making a lion dance.

So the nameless girl
was a puppeteer.

Yeah, that's all we have.
That and this ring.

At least it's something
to work with.

But what does "pelican"
have to do with all of this?

Yeah, "pelican."
Doesn't connect up at all.

Where does Din Chang fit in?

( knocking on door )

Come in.

Mr. West, Mr. Pike?

I'm Amy Stafford.

I work for Colonel Blake
in San Francisco.

Won't you please sit down,
Miss Stafford?

Thank you.

We just received an answer
from Colonel Morse,

the commandant at Alcatraz.

"In reply to your inquiry,
be advised that John Dirk,

"number 14357, is serving
15 years sentence this fort.

"No possibility of escape.

Currently in isolation,
maximum-security wing."

Signed, Kelton Morse,

6th artillery commanding.

If Dirk is still on Alcatraz,
who's the man you caught?

Maybe it was his twin brother,
Miss Stafford.

Except for the fact that
he doesn't have a twin brother.

No, Jeremy,
it wasn't his twin brother.

It was Johnny Dirk.

Then why would Morse lie to us
about his being on Alcatraz?

( snaps fingers )

Alcatraz. That's it.

Why didn't I think of it.

In Sonora, Mexico,
there is a prison--

And it's called
the Alcatraz.

--and what's carved
into the gates?

A large bird.

A pelican.

"Alcatraz" is the Spanish word
for "pelican."

That's it, that's what that dead
girl was trying to tell us.

Somehow Din Chang
is tied in to Alcatraz,

and we'd better find out how.

But if what you suspect
about it is true,

they're not going to want
the secret service

walking around there.

"Amy," wasn't it?

Amy, you've got a point.

( ominous theme playing )

Bottom left, march!

Company, halt!

Left, face!

Welcome to Fort Alcatraz.

I hope you all enjoyed
your little boat trip.

It seems your former outfit
no longer desire your company,

but we're delighted
to have you here.

We have a few simple rules.

Do what you're told
when you're told.

Now, some of you men
might find it difficult

to learn to live with that,

but one way or another,
everybody learns.

Another little rule:

when I talk, you listen.


Troublemaker, huh?

All right.

( traditional Chinese
music playing )

( speaking in Chinese )

( both mouthing words )

This prisoner swung
on Corporal Simon

and is still living?

As a matter of fact,

he knocked the corporal
out cold, sir.

Did you now?

Well, that's never
been done before.


A small matter of a stick
in my back, sir.

Cruel and unusual punishment?

Very much against regulations.

Why did Corporal Simon
use a swagger stick

on the prisoner?

What swagger stick, sir?

Oh, I see.

I don't know
why you're here, prisoner,

but it's obvious that
in addition to everything else,

you're a chronic liar.

I have his file here.

So your name is Private Court,

and according to the records,

you've declared a one-man war
against the Army.

Desertion, breaking out
of the guardhouse,

assaulting your
commanding officer,

topped off
by an unprovoked assault

against a senior guard
of Alcatraz!

Do you have anything to say
before I pass summary judgment?


Ah, Corporal Simon.


( door shuts )

Get back to signing
those papers, Morse,

or I'll have you
thrown back in solitary.

Get up, Court.

Get up!

Come on.

Neat, huh?

Thought you'd like it.

There are 105 iron cannonballs
in these three pyramids,

each ball weighs 42 pounds,

and there's only one
minor, little problem.

Someone stacked them
in the wrong place.

You've got brains too.

On the other side
of the parade ground.

Start stacking.

You realize, of course,

that this may ruin
our friendship.

I'll take that chance.

Start stacking.

( speaking in Chinese )

Oh, 1000 celestial
pardons, ancient one,

but do you have a young lady
who assists you?

There are those
who interrupt me,

but no one assists me.

Then I am indeed desolated.

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

Just a knack.

Yeah, not bad at all.

The only thing is--

Yeah, I know.

You liked them better
where they were before.

Private Court,
you're a mind reader.

All right, pick them up,

and put them down
on the other side, soldier.


So now we know your name is--

Correction, was.

--Jasmine Blood.

( traditional Chinese
music playing )

( music stops, gong resonating )

( chattering )

Reverent one,

this unworthy performance
is concluded.

Ah, concluded,
but not forgotten.

How shrewdly
you slew the dragon.

Reverent one, unhappily
I must remind you that--

Oh, how bravely you died.

With such wondrous,
trailing clouds of smoke.

Accept this miserable
dragon's thanks, but--

Oh, it is so sad

that all may not die
as gloriously.

Who are you?

One who would have wished
Jasmine Blood alive.

You knew my sister?

Better than I know
her murderer.

How do we know
you are not the murderer?

If I were, should I fear
the sword you hold?

There are swords
and swords.

( exhales heavily )

That is indeed a proper sword,

but because of my talisman,
I am unafraid.

what do you want?

Din Chang.
Where might I find him?

My sister has died
before her time.

Now you are asking
me to follow her.

you can tell me something.

Anything that might help me
find the one I seek.

Honored sir...

the others--
They are afraid to talk.

Ah, but not you.

I, also.
But I'm not afraid to whisper.

Whisper to me then
about Din Chang.

No. About a Frenchman.

Din Chang's friend.

The friend of my enemy
is my enemy too.

Tell me where I may find
this Jean-Paul.

There is a warehouse,
the New Kowloon.

Now, that I like, soldier.

I know.

But you'd like it better

if they were back
over there, right?

I should say not.

It's perfect
just the way it is.

Don't you agree?

Yes, sir, soldier.
This time you did it good.

Real good.

But I know,
you just realized something.

A small thing.

If you could put this
cannonball on the top,

And that cannonball...


That's the idea.

Then it would really be perfect.

( laughs )

Court, you wouldn't
be having any of this trouble

if you were a little
less touchy.

Now, in the future,
when I do this to you--

I'm surprised
you're still alive.

You're surprised?
So am I, Miss, uh--

At ease, Private Court.

My name is Dr. Gibson.

I have the technical rank
of a captain,

and I'm in charge
of the infirmary.

Yes, sir, captain.

I know all about you.

All about me?


I've examined you thoroughly.

There are no broken bones,

but you are a mass
of contusions and bruises.

Cannonballs usually do
have that effect on me.

In addition to which,

I've familiarized myself
with your military file.

It isn't the most inspiring
record I've ever read.

But that really isn't
a true insight

to my inner personality,

my hopes, my dreams,
my cares, my fears.

I know a little something
about that too.

You were feverish
for a while.

Did I reveal
anything interesting?

Among other things,

you kept repeating something

that was obviously
very much on your mind.

A "Kuei," who seems
to be a puppeteer or a witch.

Then something
about a Din Chang.

That bunker out there.
What goes on?

Don't even ask
about that place.

Why not?

I've seen many prisoners
go in there.

I've never seen
one come out.

How dare you.

You knock before you enter
this infirmary!

Sorry about that, Doc.

I've got this order to take
the prisoner off your hands

for a little
solitary confinement.

I won't allow it.

Private Court is suffering
from a fracture of the ulna,

and is unfit for duty.

Now, look here, Doc.

I got this authorization.

And I tell you that the prisoner
is unfit for duty.

Since I'm in charge
of this infirmary,

he shall not be released.

Sorry, Doc.
Orders is orders.

Get up.

I'm unfit for duty, man.

Get him up.

Hold it!

Sold the doc on the idea
that you had a broken wing,

huh, soldier?

Well, I got just the place
for you to recuperate

till the roses bloom
in your cheeks again.

An ideal vacation spot
we call the bunkers.

( fireworks exploding )

( bells jingling )

( explosions, jingling stop )

( bells jingle )

( men speaking indistinctly )

Time is growing short.

Now, when can we expect
the shipment?

So Din Chang
is growing impatient?

The merchandise--

And be--
Be assured, it is exquisite.

--will be shipped
very shortly.

A small reinforcement?


Non, alors, non.

And there shortly after,

I-- I Jean-Paul--


--will shortly arrive.


( hammering )

Get those other crates ready.

Take a good look around,

You won't be seeing
sunshine again.

One thing I can always
count on from you

is a few cheerful words.

See how smart you feel

after your little tour
down there.

After you.

Take him in.

You know what
would have happened

if this had hit the floor?

You appear to be very

What would have happened?

We'd all probably
be a memory by now,

scattered all over
San Francisco bay.

It seems you've saved
all our lives.

What do you know
about fulminate of mercury?

I know quite a bit, sir.
Maybe almost as much as you.

That might make you
an expert, young man.

I don't know about
being an expert, sir,

but I do know that it's an acid,

when it's combined with mercury
it becomes an explosive.

So unstable, though,
it's hardly worth using.

( chuckles )

Not even in these?


Why should you
be so surprised?

It's what we Chinese
are so good at: rockets.

Long before
the rest of the world

graduated from their spears
and bows and arrows,

we Chinese
had developed rockets

to a remarkable degree,

but one element we lacked.

An effective priming charge,
like fulminate of mercury,

which your government has now
most thoughtfully provided.


I'd say you're one up on the old
Spanish garrison's 20-pounders.

Thank you.

Now, young man,

let's see what
a strategist you are.

What could be the purpose
of these rocket launchers

set up here in the cliffs
overlooking the bay?

Well, if you could fire
the rockets

without blowing up yourselves,

then you could control the bay.

You could bottle up shipping,

zero in on the mainland,

depending, of course,
on your range.

If you could do that,

then you could name your own
price for San Francisco.

Very good.

Very good, indeed.

I've been in a few prisons
in my time,

but never anything like this.

The guards tell me that
no one has ever left here.

( chuckles )

Let us say the troublemakers
among the inmates

don't leave to discuss
what they've seen.

Well, sir, I'm very
impressed with all this.

I'd like to get over
on your side.

Unfortunately, for you,
my side is quite full.

Take him.

Bright young man.

But they're always
the troublesome ones.

( both laughing )

Make sure the rockets
are properly stationed.


I'll take over now.

Nobody told me
nothing about that.

Now, look, buddy,
I'm just following orders.

Yeah? How come I never
seen you before?

Well, you see, it's like this.

It so happens--

Where the devil is this?
Is this Alcatraz?

This is it.

Din Chang is up
to his neck in rockets.

Somehow he's managed
to take over this whole fort.

If these aren't the real guards,
where are they?

I don't know.

Why don't you try
and find out?

I've got work to do topside.


( door opens )

I was told you were
waiting for me.

You may inform
Colonel Morse

that I must
see him immediately.

Oh, I'm sorry.

The colonel has been
called away to the presidio.

In his absence,

I am acting commandant,
of course.

May I help you?

It's about the bunker.

I see men being detailed there,

but no one ever returns.

Oh, come, come, doctor.

That's just barracks rumors
you're repeating.

The men are transferred
to the mainland.

That's why you don't
see them again.

Then there's the matter
of Private Court.

Well, what about him?

Well, it's-- It's something
that he kept repeating.

Something about
a dangerous killer

that he was trailing.

He has quite a selection
to choose from here.

Was there any description?

Yes, I remember his exact words.

Din Chang.

A Chinese named
Din Chang.

Uh, Chinese, you said?

( ominous theme playing )

( Gibson screams )

A Chinese named Din Chang?

Did he also say that Din Chang
is an expert with a knife?

You see, Dr. Gibson,

as long as you were the lovely,
dedicated healer of wounds,

and stayed in your
antiseptic world of bandages,

your safety was assured,

but now--?

You weren't
so difficult to find.

In the absence of Major Frey,

you're going to do
a few things for me.


Destroy those rockets
and the launcher.

Go on.

And what about the real
personnel of Alcatraz?

The real guard--?

Our young Mr. Court

seems to be a bird
of a different feather.

Oh, yes.
You're from the police.

Or perhaps
even from the government.

But it doesn't
really matter, of course,

because in exactly
28 minutes--

You won't be around
to see it, of course.

--but your gallant
United States fleet

will be resting
on the bottom of the bay.

( chuckles )

You'll enjoy the sight.

You see, it's the fleet
returning from maneuvers,

sailing peacefully
into a quiet harbor.

And why not?

The Navy would never
fear anything

from its own Fort Alcatraz, eh?

Which is so
strategically situated--

Designed, you might say.

--to bring any vessel in the bay
under its guns and rockets,

and so blast any hull
to perdition.

What do you hope
to accomplish?

You may sink a few ships,

but soon you'll be bombed out
or starved out.


In addition to asking
far too many questions,

our friends here
have become quite troublesome.

I believe we have
a perfectly good wall

on the parade ground.

Get rid of them.

Yes, sir.

It's about time
we put it to work.

Fall in behind me.


About 26 minutes to go?

I suggest we get along
to the bunker.

Detail, halt!

You two, fall in.


I've been waiting for this

ever since you first
showed up here.

Position prisoners!


Hold it!

Hold it! Hold it!

I got a change of orders.

I just got the word
from Chang

that you're to take them
back to the infirmary.

Tell you what,

you tell him
you got to me too late.

Well, I-I can't do that.

You can do anything I tell you.

I-I-I can't take on
that responsibility.

Get out of the way!
I got unfinished business here.

Hold it!

I-I-I got something here.

That's it.

Now, you stay right there.

I don't know who you are,

but you drop that box
and get your hands up.

But-- I-I-It will break.

Drop it!

Well, if that's what you want.

I think the real guards
are in the old dungeon.

We don't have much time.

They'll use those rockets
on our fleet.

The fleet?

They're crazy.

They may blow up
a ship or two,

but they can't go up
against the combined guns

of the Army and Navy.

I know how we can
warn the Navy.

There's a boat in a cove
on the other side of the island.

It's all hidden. Covered over.

They had their own
one-way ticket out of here.

Try and release those guards,

we're going to need
all the help we can get.

I'm going to try and destroy
the rocket launch.

Stick close.

If anybody sees us,
you're my prisoner.

Fleet approaching, sir.

Very well.

Almost in range.

When they get to zero point,
start firing.

I'll be watching from the tower.

Yes, sir.

Lead ship coming into range.

Stand by.

Ready for countdown.





Fire rocket one!

Prepare for rocket two.

Countdown. Five.



( action theme playing )

Get out of here!

( explosion )

( coughing )

If I were you,
I'd drop anchor.

( gunshots )

Garrison is liberated,

and the situation
is well in hand.

Shouldn't you pick them up?

All in good time, captain.
All in good time.

So you see, the idea
was that with the fleet

tied up firing on Alcatraz,

they could land
at the presidio,

rob a rather sizable payroll

that had arrived for the fleet,

and make off with it without
anyone being the wiser.

Why, that's downright thrilling,

but I think we'd better

be getting along
to dinner now.

It is getting
awfully late.

So right, ladies.
Ladies, you are so right.

Shall we, James?

What's the matter?

Aren't you
enjoying yourself?

Oh, no.
That's not it at all.

I'm actually really
enjoying myself.

You see, I've been thinking
about my other partner,

Artemus Gordon.

He was sent to Washington,
and I've been there--

Boring, a lot of desk work,
a lot of paperwork.

--and I'm just wondering
if he's enjoying himself.

Speaking of Artie,

that reminds me,

a package arrived
for him today.

One of those talking records.

Oh, could we hear it?

WOMAN ( on record ):
Good evening, Mr. West,
Mr. Pike.

Mr. Gordon has been so busy

that he hasn't time
to send you this himself,

so he asked me,
as a favor,

( giggling ):
to send it to you.

He wants you to know
that it's just work, work,

( giggling ):
work all the time.

He also says he may be here
longer than he first thought,

( giggling ):
and he did want me to tell you

that he thinks of you
all the time.

So until we hear from you,
oh, good night.

( giggling )

( all chuckling )

Work, work, work.

Yeah, well,

I think I'm really ready
for dinner right now.

( peaceful theme playing )

( woman giggling )

( door shuts )

( woman giggling )

( upbeat country theme playing )

( upbeat country theme playing )