The Wild Wild West (1965–1969): Season 3, Episode 24 - The Night of the Death-Maker - full transcript

Jim and Arte stop a plan to assassinate President Grant devised by a bitter officer who was stripped of his command.

All quiet, Mr. West.

Good. When the
president does arrive,

you escort him
directly to his room.

I'll cover the outside.

What time is it, Charles?

Five to 3, Mr. President.

Good. Got time for a little rest

before those speeches.

Oh, Mr. President.

That's all right, Charles.

Move on.

I'm being presumptuous, I know.

But I just had to say hello.

Don't you remember
me? Marcia Dennison.

Oh, of course.

The theater's
incomparable Dennison.

Uh... seen your performances
in Washington very often.


And let me assure
you, if time permits,

I shall be at your opening
right here in San Francisco.

- Thank you, Mr. President.
- Good day.

Good day.

Hy-ah! Hy-ah!

Well done, Mr. President.

He must be one of those
who didn't vote for me.

He'll never get another chance.

Let's get back
to the hotel, Artie.

Excellent likeness, Mr. Gordon.

Excellent. Come on in.

Thank you, sir.

Well, what do you
intend to do about it?

Uh, we have a suggestion, sir.

Will I kindly stop presenting
myself as a target?

Is that it?

We know we've raised
the point before, sir.

But this time it's more
important than ever.

Gentlemen, there will always
be someone... attempting

to take potshots at
me. It goes with the job.

Mr. President, what
happened down there

was a lot more
than just "potshots."

It was even more than
an assassination attempt.

It was more like a war,
with you as the objective.

Jim, I'd say that kind of talk

is a little on the
high-powered side.

So is the weapon, sir.

They used a Gatling gun.

I see.

Four government arsenals...

and territorial orders depots

have been raided in
the past two weeks.

Along with a lot of other
hardware and arms...

13 Gatling guns were taken.

Would you say
there's any connection?

Well, we haven't examined
today's weapon yet, sir.

But I'll give you
odds when we do,

it turns out to be one
of the stolen ones.

A baker's dozen Gatling guns...

just to snuff out the
life of one president?

No, sir. There's gotta
be more to the program.

But whatever it is, it
begins with your death.

That's why Artie
and I feel so definite

that you should stay
under wraps for a few days.

No... I wasn't elected
to this high office

to cower behind locked doors.

Yes, sir.


there's been no official
announcement yet.

But tomorrow night...

I plan to make an
unscheduled trip to Denver.

I'm gonna address
the territorial governors

assembled there.

It's important.

I won't call it off.

Yes, sir.

All right.

If it'll make you
two feel any better,

I'll stay right here until then.

Thirty-six hours.
And thank you, sir.

Good day, gentlemen.

Good day, Mr. President.
Mr. President.

Artie, you were right.
No doubt about it.

This Gatling gun was
stolen from the government.

Yeah, I was willing to
give odds to the president.


What's that got to
do with a Gatling gun?


Ah, here it is. Jim...

here's your reason.

That dirt found under the
gun is a sample of the topsoil

you find in
grape-growing country.



San Joaquin Valley.

It's starting to be
big business there.

We couldn't possibly
cover every little vineyard

in the area.

Well, we might be
able to take a shortcut

and narrow it down, Artie.

If they're shipping those
grapes out of the state...

it should be near a railroad.


Now, that would probably
limit it to... one of two towns.

Either... Scottsville...

and Jubilee.

We could each of
us cover an area

of approximately
20 to 25-mile radius.

Gonna need more
than the 36 hours

the president's given us.

That's all we've got, Jim.

Good afternoon, Mr. West.

Good afternoon. Any
messages for me?

I'll look, sir. Thank you.

Not today, Mr. West.


Now ain't that a disgrace?

You know what I think?

The president ought to have
a batch of full-time guards,

with their only job
being to protect him.

I think someday it
might come to that.

The casks of wine have
been delivered to the cellar.

Thank you, Brother.

- Where is that receipt?
- There you go.

There you are.

Thank you.

Marcia Dennison.

I'd know you anyplace.

Why, it's an honor to have
you in Jubilee, Miss Dennison.

A great honor.

Why, thank you.

I'm Joe Gillespie.

I run the local theater.

Hey, an attraction like you
would sure make my place pay.

Why don't you bring your
troupe out here and put on...

I'm sorry, Mr. Gillespie.
I'm not here on business.

Well, it's never the wrong time
to talk money, Miss Dennison.

If you don't mind...

my manager handles
all my business affairs.

Jubilee too much of
a hick town for you?

You're in my way.

We've had big stars here before,

Miss Dennison.

You heard the lady,
sir. You're in her way.

Who asked you to butt in?

I've got a legitimate
right to talk...

Get outta here.

Wise guy. There's
one in every crowd.

Mr. James West, I believe.

That's right, Miss Dennison.

We met in Washington
a long time ago.

One of my fondest memories.

And it's fortunate for me

that you happen
to be in Jubilee.

He was becoming quite annoying.

You gonna be here long?

Just a few days.

I, um... have business
interests here.

How lucky for me.

I'd like you to
have lunch with me.

Do you always have
such a direct approach?

I wanted to ask you first,

before every man
in Jubilee does.

You're very flattering,
but it's been a tiring trip.

Shall we make it dinner?

I'd be delighted.

But it will be the
longest afternoon

I've ever waited.

Ahh, c'est charmont!

It's charming!

Well, your hotel, of course,

does not have the
manner or the service

that, uh, hotels do in France.

But... still,

it has an ingratiating
quality all its own.

And your railroad.

Ma fois, formidable!

The speed and the thunder
of the wheels as they roll,

I tell you, I thought every
tooth would be shaken loose

from my mouth.

You're Monsieur Raynard

that telegraphed us for a room.

Claude Ashir Antoine Raynard.

I'll be in the
restaurant. Yes, ma'am.


lover of, uh, lovely things,

wine taster extraordinaire

and a devoted student

of the grape. Uh,
Monsieur Raynard.

Ah, Oui?

I'm... I'm, uh, familiar
with you by reputation.

Really? Oh, you do me the honor

to remembrance of my name,

Monsieur, uh...

West. James West.

Ah, enchanter!

Would you like to
have a drink with me?

I'd be delighted.

Ah, bon!

Eh, please to transport

my luggage up to my room, huh?

What did you find
out in Scottsville?

A dead end.

The raisins are a
Bordeaux-type grape.

They don't grown
them in that area.

Eh, which way?

Uh, right this way, sir.

Ah, thank you.

I'm most honored that you
are having a drink with me, Mr...

Ah, look at that!

Santa Paula wine.

Do you know, that is the
closest thing to French wine

that you have
here in this country?


Anything turn up in these parts?

Nothing except Marcia Dennison.

Yeah, so I noticed.

What's she doing around here?

I don't know.
Maybe I'll find out

tonight at dinner.

One thing you never
waste is time, huh?

Ah, monsieur,

could we have, uh,

two Santa Paula
Bordeaux, please, eh?

You know, if those raisins
did come from the monastery,

they're not gonna do
us very much good.

Ah, not necessarily.

There any other commercial
wineries around here?

None that I know of.

Wouldn't it be
awful if... this place

turned out to be a dead end too?

Ah, merci.

Oh, this has just the
right amount of dryness.

You will see, eh?


The color is a little, uh...

on the light side, monsieur.

It could rob the wine
of its spirit, you know?

This stuff's been robbed
of a lot more than its spirit.

What do you
think's wrong with it?

Subtle difference.

It's sweeter than usual, uh...

No body in the bouquet.

Artie, that can happen
to a bottle of wine.

No, no, no.

The brothers have
been making this stuff

for more than 50 years.

Isn't it funny they should

suddenly start
making mistakes now?

Artie, speaking
of funny things...

do you know of
any order of monks

that permit them
to wear jewelry?

I never heard of any in my life.

Well, I saw a
monk in the lobby...

with a ring on his finger.


Last time he was here,

he'd just finished
delivering wine.

Delivering something else now.

Two monks now, Artie.

They went out the
emergency exit.

Hey, mes bons frères!
My good Brothers.

The golden Cossack
Brothers of Santa Paula.

If you don't mind,

please, we are in a hurry.

Oh, no, no. I wish
only to felicitate you

upon the excellence
of your brandy.


Second only to that made
by the Benedictine order.

I think maybe you
like it too much.

Oh, no, no, no. No,
no, It's not that at all.

I'm a wine... Eh, permit
me to introduce myself.

Claude Ashir Antoine Raynard.

Wine taster extraordinaire,

at your service, monsieur.

Take my advice, my friend,

and go back to
France while you can.

Ah, but I'd... I would...

This way.

The general is waiting
for you in his office.

Twenty miles of dirt road.

I'll be bruised for life.

This way, Miss Dennison.

Lunge and twist!

Lunge! Twist!


Twist! It's not a knife,

it's a bayonet. Do
you understand?

A bayonet.

Look, it's not a saber either,

so don't try to
swing it like it was.

You lunge with it!

You lunge, and you twist!

Lunge and twist!

Well, it's easy to
see why you guys

got tossed out of the army.

If the regular army paid
as well as this one did,

we probably wouldn't
have gotten tossed out.

Okay... only don't you

get the idea this
ain't any army.

You just try
disobeying an order,

and you'll see how fast you
end up facing that firing squad.

Now let's get with it.

Lunge and twist!




And I found out this much,

the president will definitely be
on the train bound for Denver

late tonight.



Wonderful? But there goes

your last chance to... Let
me show you, my dear.

If the presidential train

is bound for Denver...

it has to go through Myoga Pass.

A perfect spot for
a nice little ambush.

Oh, I know that
pass. I know it well.

For three years...

I commanded Fort Brandon there.

Three years ago...

Grant broke me.

Relieved me of my command.

Three years later, I
shall relieve him of his life.

But he'll be heavily guarded.

Why is it so necessary
that you assassinate him?

Isn't it a big enough prize

to seize control of
the entire territory?

Don't you see?

Grant's death... is the
key to my entire operation.

But why?

Well, with Grant's
death, every...

Every military
garrison in the area

will be thrown into confusion.

My troops will have
complete control

in a matter of hours.

What Quantrill did
during the war...

I can do now.

Everything would lose
its meaning, Cullen,

if something should
happen to you.

I promised... we'd be
married when this is over.

You've been my eyes...

you've been my ears...

whenever I've
needed information.

And I'm grateful.

What about James
West being in Jubilee?

West was lucky in San Francisco.

He won't stop me this time.

Tries to get in
my way, he'll die.

Tonight on Myoga Pass...

our new world begins.

You! What are you doing there?

Nobody's allowed in there.

Yeah, well, I've got permission.

In the name of sweet mercy,

did you bring the medicine?

Why are you in there?

What manner of talk is this?

First you cast us
down into the pit

as Joseph's
brethren did unto him,

and then you ask, "Why
are you down here?"

I don't have much time,
but please believe me.

I'm your friend.

A friend? Do you hear, Brothers?

I told you our prayers
would be answered,

even as Joseph's were.

I am Brother Angelo.

This is Brother
Thomas, poor soul.

Brother Theophile,
Brother Stanislaus,

Brother Solomon.

This pit used to hold the sand
we used for our bottle glass.

Now it's our prison.

Where are the
rest of the brothers?

All being held
prisoners in the refectory.

You are...?

I'm James West, a
government agent.

What happened here?

Several months ago,
that man Cullen Dane...


You know him?

Yes, but please go on.

He came here with many
men like a small army,

and he simply took
over the monastery.

How was he able
to keep it secret?

They posed as
members of our order.

And since we have
very few visitors,

no one has found out.

They've even forced
us to keep on making

the wine and brandy.

Deliberately making
bad... wine and brandy,

Brother Angelo?

You noticed.

You couldn't have
sent a better SOS.

We were beginning to despair
that anyone would realize.

What's wrong with him?

Brother Thomas.

He's had another
attack, and this one is

quite serious, I'm afraid.

There is medicine
in the dispensary

that will ease him,
but nobody will bring it.

Where is it?

The dispensary's
in the west wing.

It's the last door on the right.

And his preparation
is in a small bottle

with his name on it.

I'll bring it.

My son,

this is very dangerous.

The Ishmaelites are everywhere.

I've gotten that impression.

The general's made
this room off-limits

to military personnel.

Well, Mr. West.

How did you know
about this place?

I just couldn't
wait until tonight,

so I followed you.

Do women always lead
you into such mistakes?

No, not as a rule.

But you're irresistible,

and I just couldn't
wait until dinner.

Too bad you won't live
long enough to make it.

You know, it does puzzle
me what a person like yourself

sees in a man like Cullen Dane.

He's an easy man
to admire, Mr. West.

I like men with ambition.

I'm going to marry him.

Cullen Dane is going
to be a great man.

And I want greatness.

By tomorrow morning
your precious Grant

will be dead,

and Cullen's forces will
be in control of California.

That, Mr. West,

is when Cullen Dane
will rise above the wrong

done him by Grant.

Your gun, Mr. West.

You know, it's hard to believe

that you'd love a murderer.

A man who would
kill your president.

Do you love him?

I never said I did.

I just said I was
going to marry him.

This should be your most...

unforgettable performance.

What do you mean?

Well, I'm sure that you
wouldn't have... led me on

unless you'd signaled
your men somehow.

Good night.

It may be a little shaken up.

Oh, here it is.

Bless you, my son.

Mr. West?

Welcome to Santa Paula.

You managed to
arrive just in time...

for your execution.

Mr. West, this is your schedule:

You'll be taken by my men to
the monastery burial ground,

where you'll be given
a military execution...

by rifle squad...

befitting your rank
as a former major...

in the United States Army.

As long as you're
being so formal about it,

what about my
court-martial trial?

Of course. But
your court-martial

will take place
after your execution.

You see, there's a
more important execution

to be carried out.

You'll never get
to the president.

Mr. West, if I were
a betting man...

What is it?

There's a Frenchman at the door.

He demands to
see Brother Angelo.

- Shall I throw him...
- No, no, no.

Bring him to my office.
Pardon me for a moment, major.

I'll be back with you shortly.

I tell you, I never
heard of a monastery

that has kept its
doors closed to anyone.

And I am expected
here, I tell you.

Good evening, my
son. What is the trouble?

The trouble is that I
have an appointment

with the head abbot,
Brother Angelo.

And these two are trying to
prevent me to keep it with him.

Oh, I see.

Are you Brother Angelo?

Yes, I am Brother Angelo.

Then I must tell you,

I never expected to
encounter this kind of treatment

in your place.

You must forgive the brothers.

We have been bothered
with... thieves lately.

Oh. You may leave, my Brothers.

Uh, won't you come
and, uh, sit down?

Uh, Merci. Merci.

And, uh...

you, my son...

what is your name?

Claude Ashir Raynard.

Oh, this is exasperating.

First you ask me to
come here and help you...

You are having
trouble with your wine.

And then I come in,

you cannot even
remember my name.

Claude Raynard, of
course. How stupid of me.

Now, I have been
giving much thought

to the matter of the
bitterness of your wine.

Why, surely, monsieur,

you'll be more comfortable
if we discuss this...

at your hotel.

Uh, the grapes are
here, not at my hotel.

Now to begin
with, it seems to me

that the thing must be
caused by one of two things.

Either the wood in
the casks is still raw

and has too
much sap still in it,

which mixes with the
wine despite the charring.

Or, of course, it could
be that the trouble

is in the bitterness
of the grape.

Ah, tomorrow I will take a look

at both the barrel
and the grape,

and I can decide.




Of course, the trouble could be

that, uh, worms have
gotten into the grapes.

Any time in the
afternoon... tomorrow...

you'll be free to
inspect our vineyards.


No worm has ever been able
to escape me in the daytime.

Fine, fine.

Let me show you to your room.

Oh, of course.

This way, monsieur.

Thank you.

The medicine helped.

Brother Thomas seems to
be doing much better now.

What of you, Mr. West?

That Dane is an evil man.

He'll execute you
as he said he would.

Oh, there's no doubt he'll try.

Unfortunately, I don't
have anything with me...

to get us out of here.

Of course.

Of course?

Of course what?

Brother Thomas
just had a relapse.


No, as a matter of fact...

he died.

You'd better sing
a hymn for him.

Mr. West.

Please do as I ask.

Cut out that noise down there.

I said cut it out.

Brother Thomas has died.

At least accord the
poor soul a decent burial.

I ain't got no time for that.

In the name of heaven,

be merciful.

You can spare us a few minutes.

There are several
coffins in the sacristy.


All right, all right.

But I don't wanna hear
any more of that noise.

Just yell when you
put him in there.

We'll come and get him.

Please, will you see to it

that he's buried next
to Brother Michael?

It's just up the hill a bit.

Uh, yeah, yeah.
Right up on the hill.

Thank you.

Let's go.

Mr. West...

are you sure this
will be all right?

I don't know.

If I get out of this,

I'll try and find a
way to help you.

Bless you, my son.

Oh, come on, come on. Let's go.

Get rid of that thing.
We're ready to pull out.

We're gonna bury it.
- Well, never mind.

Just toss it in the
furnace. Let's go.

Hey Collins,

give us a hand with
the cannon carriage.


The general says we're
using the Gatling gun tonight.

We better check on
all of them in a hurry.

Yeah, you're right.
Let's get rid of this thing.


Hey, you're not...



Well, you'll be
happy to learn that

you haven't lost
your delicate touch.

Uh, Artie, I didn't
know it was you

until I felt that
phony mustache.

Yeah. Do you remember

Brigadier General,
uh, Cullen Dane?

Dane... Dane...

Yeah... Grant threw him out

for selling army supplies.

Big scandal, wasn't it?

That's right. Well, he's got

a pretty good schedule
figured out for himself.

He's here to kill
President Grant.

Then he plans to
take over the world.

Wonder if this map I found
has anything to do with it.

Artie, let me
take it in the light.


See, the train goes...

through Mayoga Pass, to Denver.

President Grant's gonna be
on that midnight train, Artie.

Look at all that artillery.

You know, these
X's at Hawkins Ridge

could be for gun emplacements.

The train wouldn't
stand a chance, Artie.

And no way to stop it.

Come on.

Brandy alcohol, a
pinch of gunpowder

and Brother Thomas' medicine.

I'm sure the good brother
won't mind I'm using his remedy...

as a kind of a slow-burning
fuse for our bomb.

Artie, the brothers.
I forgot about them.

Stay here. I'll
try and aid them.

Check. Listen, find a funnel

while you're about it
down there, will you?


Find the funnel?

No, but maybe this will do.

That's a Swiss Falcon 22.

Very chic little lady's weapon.

And very deadly,
as you'll find out

if you don't put your hands up.

Of course. Be my pleasure.

Did I remember to tell you how
marvelous I thought you were

in "Our Country
Cousins," Miss Dennison?

Your performance
as Althea was...

Shut up.

What ever happened
to your French accent?

I knew there was
something I'd overlooked.

I wouldn't pull that trigger

if I were you, Miss Dennison.

Really? Why?

Because this bottle is
filled with high explosive.

You plug me, the bottle drops,

it's curtains for the
glorious Dennison.

Such a stupid bluff.

Oh, you're right.

It's not quite
the... final curtain.

But the flash fire
that would result

would certainly disfigure
you for the rest of your life.

We've got a nice little pit
the monks just vacated.

Maybe Marcia
can occupy it for us.

Well, the gun emplacements have
gotta be around here somewhere.

Yeah. It's the only place
where Hawkins Ridge

is close enough to the railroad.

Sergeant, signal the others.

Four gun emplacements, Artie.

Why don't you take those two.

I'll get those two.

Right. You got
some traveling to do.

You better get
started right now.

Let me ask you, after, uh,

I put a match inside the bottle,

how long before the explosion?

Well, between Brother
Thomas' medicine

and the brandy, I'd say we
should have five seconds.

At least, that's
what I prayed for

back at the monastery.

Well, listen, you wait for
my noisemaker to go off

and then, uh, join in the fun.

What if I don't hear yours?

Well, then you'd
better start without me.

Getting closer, general.

General Grant...

and his final destiny are
rushing toward each other,

And we'll be there
at the final meeting.



Marcia Dennison was so sure

he was going to be a big man.

No man's smaller
than when he's dead.

So... to tonight.


Oh, what a difference, huh, Jim?

Yeah. Now that
the brothers stopped

sabotaging their own
wine, it really is delicious.

Delicious? It's
superb. What bouquet.

What a beautiful color, huh?

Beautiful balance. You
know, there's only one thing

that's better than
California's beautiful wine.

Mm-hmm. Its beautiful women.

Oh, he says everything right.