The Wild Wild West (1965–1969): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Night the Wizard Shook the Earth - full transcript

West and Gordon must help Professor Neilsen reach Washington with his invention - a new and extremely powerful explosive. But a diminutive genius has ambitions of his own, and they require the professor's death. When the professor dies, West and Gordon must discover his killer before the madman's plans unfold and Professor Neilsen has a lot of company.

Mr. Jorgenson?

He may be in the barn.

Why don't I have
a look there, Jim?

All right, Artie.

Mr. Jorgenson?


I found him.


We're too late.

And you said Mr. Jorgenson
was dead before you got there?

That's right.

Whatever it was he wanted
to tell us is gone with him.

And Mr. Gordon, sir, how is he?

Well, you can see for yourself.

Be careful, huh? Aah. Heh-heh.

Careful. Oh, fine.

You know, I think
it'd work much better

if you held me real tight.

Oh, yes, that's much better.

It's nice to see you
bearing up so well, Artie.

Oh, well, you know me, James.

I was never one
to believe in, uh,

pampering myself in any way.

Ah, ah, ah.

Can I get you some tea?

Oh, no, no, no.

Thank you, thank you very much.

I'm... I'm perfectly fine.

Oh, Artie, this is Tom Harwood

out of our Albuquerque office.

It's a pleasure to
meet you, Mr. Gordon.


I hope your leg gets better.

Oh, listen, with ministering
angels like these,

it'll be fine in no time.

Oh, Harwood was investigating

the homesteaders at
the Big Hill area, Artie.

Oh. Come up with anything?

No, sir.

The homesteaders up
there are getting along fine.

A few quit, but mainly
they're settling on the land.

Then it's only the Grey
Ridge area they won't stay on.

You see any
connection with that, uh,

whatever it is we ran into?

Someone is going to
a great deal of trouble

to try and run the homesteaders
out of the Grey Ridge area.

Artie, it'll be very interesting

to find out if anyone
settles on that land

when the farmers move off.

The title changes would
have to be recorded.

Wait a minute.

Jorgenson's letter
mentioned a Lyle Dixon

as another farmer they
were trying to run off.

I think it's time

to pay a little visit to the
Grey Ridge area, Artie.

Oh, I'm sorry I can't
go with you, James.

But I'll join you there as
soon as my leg gets better.

How do you do? Help you out?

Yeah, please. I'd
like to look at the titles

of some properties
you have in this area.

Ooh, I can save you the trouble.

Nothing for sale out this way.

Well, maybe the owners
haven't heard the right offer.

How about the
Parnassus property?

Sorry about that one.

Records ain't
available right now.

I see.

Well, how about the Faulk
property just over the bluff?

Sorry again. Ha.

Not your day, it looks like.

You are the, uh,
county clerk, aren't you?

Guilty as charged.

And these titles are a matter
of public record, aren't they?

You see, we're reorganizing
the files right now.

You come back in a month or so,

be glad to help you out.

Oh, I... I guess it can wait.

Yeah. Sure am sorry
can't help you out.

That's all right.



I'm looking for a farmer
named Lyle Dixon.

Expect Dixon to be
along any minute now.

There he is now.

You got no right not
selling me supplies.

Ain't that what the store's for?

Why? Why this
senseless fighting?

Get out of here!

Thank you.

I don't want any thanks.

But why all this fighting?

We're a small community.

Can't we live together
like good neighbors?

That's all the
homesteaders want.

We need supplies.

Only we can't get none from him.

Small problem of money?

I got money. The
problem is he won't sell.


I don't make the policies,
Mr. Bock. The co-op does.

The policies say if a farmer
ain't a member of the co-op,

I can't sell nothing to him.

Would your policies bind
the wounds of this community?

No, life is too short.

A few supplies isn't
reason enough to fight.

Maybe not, but I
gotta go by the rules.


Men aren't animals
to fight over trifles

like dogs over a bone.

I say if this man needs
supplies, and he has them,

the two of them
should get together.

All right. That'll be $2.50.

I want bacon and beans too.

Much obliged to you, mister.

Well, it was my pleasure.

The name is Lyle Dixon.

My name's James West, Lyle.

Much obliged to
you too, Mr. Bock.

If it hadn't been for
what you did, phew.

Hello, Miss Lonie.

I was worried for a while,

watching you with
all those others.

I think we're holding
up Mr. Dixon, Lonie.

He has to load his supplies.

You call yourself James West?

That's right, and
you're Mr. Bock.

That's right.

I'd like to present
Miss Lonie Millard,

a member of my household.

How do you do?

How do you do?

May I?

Thank you.

Mr. West, it's unfortunate

your introduction to our
community was so strenuous.

It's a good town.
It's good people.

I've, uh, never
seen a general store

fight to keep
business away before.

It seems the old-time ranchers

resent the homesteaders
moving into the area.

This must come to an end,
this division between men.

Good day, Mr. West.

Good day, sir.

Nice to have met you, Mr. West.

Thank you.

I meant to tell you, you
sure handled yourself.

Well, just for the record,
Lyle, you'll do fine.

It's too bad you weren't around

when Jan Jorgenson
had his accident.

You knew Jan?

Well, I didn't really know him.

He sent a letter to Washington,

that's why I'm here.

But when I arrived,
he was already dead.

So you're a government man?

That's right.

Well, now you've
seen part of it.

Listen, you come
to my farm tonight.

Me and the other farmers,
we'll tell you plenty.

All right, Artie,
where are they?



Who? You know who.

Those nurses.

The last time I saw you,

you looked as if
you'd never walk again

without the help
of those nurses.

Oh, jest if you will,
James, my boy.

Only my grit, my pluck,

and my iron determination

enabled me to be up and about.

And I haven't been
wasting my time.

Really? Really.

Hm. Hm.

I worked out the
formula for this

while lying on my bed of pain.

Observe carefully.

Will not explode on contact.

And yet, observe.

If I cut us a small
secant thereof,

watch the reaction
that this has...

to heat.

Stand back, James, my boy.

I don't want anyone
hurt in the process.

Hey, Artie.

Pretty good, huh?

Yeah, that's
marvelous. Oh, yeah.

This is yours from me.

Now fill me in.

Well, briefly, Artie,
there's a land-record office

that doesn't want the
records seen by anyone.

It's a little bit
unusual, isn't it?

Yeah, and there's a co-op store

that doesn't want
to sell to farmers,

who, by the way, have invited
me to a secret meeting tonight.

Splendid idea.

Shall I meet you at
the farmers' later?

Yeah, later, Artie.

And we can't buy any
food, we can't buy any tools,

we can't buy nothing!

So how are we supposed to live?

Well, I'll tell you this.

My Martha and me,
we're gonna find us

a better place to live.

And I say we don't
let them run us out.

We can buy our
own tools and food.

Where, Lyle?
Albuquerque is so far.

Who says we can't
start our own co-op?

The point is we stay.

And maybe we stay for good...

in our graves.

They killed Jan Jorgenson,
maybe they'll kill us all.

Not if they know we're
gonna stand up and fight.

I've been saving this.

This is James West
from the government.

He's here to help us fight too.


What can one man do?

That's the point.

One man alone can't do anything.

But if we buy our
goods together,

if we fight together,

then we'll stay on together.

These are our homes.

There ain't nothing
that can beat us.

Nothing that can
move us out, nothing.

Get out of here, quickly.

Quickly, now!

I'll fight any man for my land,

but how are you
gonna fight that?

Sell out and they'll
keep the pressure on

till all of you sell out.

That's easy for you to say.

You work for the government.
It's your job to fight.

It's your job too.

My job is to see
that I stay alive

long enough to
raise my children.

Mr. West, Victor
here ain't no coward.

They offered me $1.00 an acre.

The price is low, but I can
get another piece of land.

Where are my kids
gonna get another father?

Anybody selling land here?

Because if you are, I'm buying.

You're not from the co-op.
Why do you want our land?

Gentlemen, this is my
partner, Artemus Gordon.

I don't get it.

Your friend
suggesting we pull out?

Not at all.

I'll give any man here a
government note for his land.

And you can buy it back
in ten days, if you want to,

at the same price.

Meantime, you can
continue to live on it

and stay right where you
are, if you want to do that.

That's a fair enough
shake. What's the catch?

There's no catch, friend.

Well, I'll sell
whatever the reason.

Come on over to the
house, I'll take the names.

Becoming a land baron, Artie?

Well, it's one way of getting
to meet other land barons.

I got a look at those
transfers of title.

Who's been moving in
when the farmers move out?

It's a regular
rogues' gallery, Jim.

Harmon Banes, Telly
Morgan, Dirt Mulden,

Tate Gingsley,
both Mace brothers.

Sounds like the who's
who of the criminal world.

You couldn't put together
a tougher group of boys.

Yeah. They're all
signing their land over

to the D&F Land Company.

Which is? Unidentified.

Well, that should change
quickly when they find out

that you bought all
the land they're after.

I intend to make sure they do.

Just before you got here, Artie,

that contraption we saw
at Jorgenson's was here.

Those tracks ought to
be pretty easy to follow.

What do you want?

Just a smile from
you, my friend.

A great big, wide Texas smile

will make me feel
welcome so far from home.

Help me celebrate my settin' up

a new home right
here amongst y'all.

The saloon's that way, bub.

Well, now, bub's no way to
address a neighbor, neighbor.

Ellsworth R.
Caldwell's the name.

"R" stands for rich. Ha-ha-ha.

Well, I'm a busy man.

All right, you got no
time for sociability,

business it is.

Like to record
the title transfers

for a few little properties
around hereabouts.

You bought land here?

That's what I'm saying.

Whole bunch of little
places I'm gonna put together

and make myself a spread,
give me some privacy.

You know, I got
the Burgstrom place,

the Klingers' place,
whole bunch of little places.

Just a little spread, you know,

near as I can figure
about, uh, 11,400 acres.

You all right, friend? Your
jaw's hanging kind of low.


That would make you about
the biggest spread around here.

Gosh, it would!
Everything I do is big!

Everywhere I go,
everything I do is the biggest!

Ellsworth B.
Caldwell's the name.

"B" stands for big. Ha-ha-ha!

May I come down with
the ache if that ain't true.

Here, have a
cigar, on that, friend.

Mr. Caldwell?

Yes, sir, that's the name.

I overheard you say

you've bought a few
parcels of land here.

I'd like to welcome you
into our little community.

Well, I wanna
thank you very much

for your welcome, kind sir. Yes.

I'd like to buy
you a drink on it.

Well, fine. It'd be my honor
to have a drink with you, sir.

Soon as I can get these
here title transfers recorded.

Why, I'll see to it.

You manage to hurry things
along for this gentleman?

Yes, sir, Mr. Bock.

Bock, is it? Howdy.

I'm surprised to learn

that you were able
to buy any land here.

It's my understanding
that there's none for sale.

Just as happy
to hear it, though.

I'd much rather do
business with one gentleman

than a bunch of
unreasonable redneck farmers.

Oh, you were gonna buy my land?

No, I... I'm not interested
in land for myself.

I've been asked to
represent a group

who are trying to establish
themselves in this area.

Oh, land syndicate, huh?

Farmers' cooperative
to be more accurate.

Their names being, uh...?

They prefer to remain nameless.

Oh, I see.

Well, uh, I tell
you, Mr., uh, Bock,

I sure hate to disappoint

your nameless and
eccentric friends,

but I'm real pleased
with this area.

Yes, real, real pleased.

I plan to stay
here quite a spell.

Well, we'll talk about
it over that drink.

Fine, you do the
talking, I'll do the drinking.

I still can't figure out

how you talked those
farmers into selling.

Well, you know,

where there's a
will, there's a way.

I always sayin' us Texans
got a monopoly on will.

Yes, sir. Ellsworth W.
Caldwell's the name.

"W" stands for will. Ha-ha-ha!

Three dollars per acre
for your land. That's final.

That's gotta be twice
what you paid for it.

Well, I must say, that's
more than fair of you.

Three dollars an acre, huh?

Close the deal with a drink.

Four would have me thinking.

All right, make it 4.

I've got some papers
with me, all legal.

Have me thinking, not selling.

No, I'm not selling. I
won't sell at any price.

Oh, I tell you, I like
it here. I like you.

Yes, sir. I like the
way you take a joke.

I feel real at home

with friendly people
like yourself. Heh-heh.

Then, all I can
say is good luck.

Well, thank you, thank you.

Fresh bottle to toast my
friend's new enterprise.

Well, now, that's
real kind of you.

Thank you, sir.

Yes, sir, I tell you, you...

You are the salt of the earth,

A gentleman and a
scholar. Ha-ha-ha.

I tell you, the minute
I get set up here,

I'm gonna make sure that I
can return the compliment.

Show you what real
Texas hospitality is like.

End up by roasting
a fatted calf.

You have welcomed
me warmly, sir.

I tell you,

the salt of the earth
is what you are.

A boil on my neck
if that ain't the truth.

Mm, uh...

And I gotta say so myself,

though I be a man of
few words, I tell you.

Yes, sir, well...


I drink a toast to your health,

and, uh, your
good fortune. Yeah.

And to the great state of Texas.

And to this great
country of ours.

And the men who make
sacrifices on her behalf.


Yes, sir, I must say that's...

That's mighty...


Throw him in the
wagon in the back.

You'll find he'll be more
pliable as the day wears on.

Mr. West?

May I?

Does Mr. Bock know you're here?

"Lonie Millard, president
of the D&F Land Company"?

How long have you been
signing documents for Bock?

That's none of your business.

He's using you. You know
that of course, don't you?

You talk that way about a
man who saved your life?

You ought to be grateful.

I am grateful. I'm grateful
he didn't shoot me.

But of course, he didn't know
I was a government agent.

Government agent?

That's right.

But what do you want here?

Not Mr. Bock?

Not him?

You don't understand.
He's a good man.

He's helped
everybody around here.

When my family died, if
Mr. Bock hadn't taken me in,

I don't know what I'd be now.

You know what you are?

You're the front for a syndicate

that's driving
every honest farmer

out of the Grey Ridge territory.

I don't believe that.

What about this, uh,

company that you're
the president of?

They're just
papers. I sign them.

Well, among those papers,

have you signed a will
leaving everything to Mr. Bock

if in the event you should die?

Now you get out of here.

Right now, before
I call the guards.

Oh, wait a minute,
just wait a minute.

If I can convince you
that Mr. Bock is using you,

then will you help me?

How do you mean?

The barn in the courtyard.

I think there's something
you should see.

Miss Lonie.

You seen Mr. Bock?

You know you're not supposed
to be down here, Miss Lonie.

I was just looking for Mr. Bock.

Well, he's in town...

See? It's just a barn.

Hey, Len!

Hey, Len!


Give me a hand, we
got a guest outside.

You see enough, Lonie?

What's it for, Mr. West?

What's it for?

Stay here.

Make him comfortable, gentlemen.

I trust you'll
have no ill effects

from your drink, Mr. Caldwell.

Then you won't
need much strength.

Just enough for
a signature or two.

If this is your idea
of amusement... Heh.

Was that amusing, Mr. Caldwell?

Five dollars per
acre for your land.

An offer no man in your
position can afford to turn down,

wouldn't you say?

Well, it appears to me
that a man in my position

might never get around
to spending that profit

once he did sign.

A chance you will have to take.

A chance you will
want to take, I'm sure.

Mr. Caldwell,

I'm about to stop
being nice to you.


What the devil are
you doing here?

You mustn't! I
told him it was a lie.

I said that you were a good
man. That he was wrong.

That's enough.

If you want her to live,
stay where you are.

Now then.

Let's see what we
can come up with

to entertain you three.

You're a living
fool, Mr. Caldwell.

Still, that's better than
being a dead fool, I suppose.

You might give
that some thought.


Mr. West, you seem to
be a man of some sense,

so I'll put it to you.

Convince this man
to sign over his lands.

And you will all be set free,

on the waists, as I've said.

Sounds almost
too good to be true.

If you have some
misplaced sense of loyalty

to the farmers,

let me remove that obstacle.

A letter has been sent
in your name, Mr. West,

asking for another
meeting today.

A meeting that should
be in progress right now.

A meeting that will end
this struggle once and for all.

To your satisfaction, of course.

You've seen my
machine, Mr. West.

I've created the greatest
instrument of destruction

known to man: the Juggernaut.

Capable of crushing
anything in its path.

How can the farmers
possibly stand up against it?

Tell me, what's your
purpose in all this?

Bock's reason is very simple.

He wants to be rich.

What's to get rich
off around here?



Your snooping has
paid off, Mr. West.

Yes, petroleum, oil.

Oil under the Grey Ridge,

discovered by me,

worked by me.

Then the government
opened the whole area

to homesteaders,

This land belongs to me.

Why should I
relinquish any part of it?

No bunch of pigheaded farmers

is going to do me out
of what's mine by right.

Who can stop me?

Before I'm through,

you'll be happy to
do anything I say.

I promise you this.

Let's go.

Prepare the Juggernaut.

I'll take the men on ahead.

Aah, it's no go, Artie.

Mr. Bock didn't
believe in togetherness.

If he gets to Dixon's
farm, I'm afraid it's all over.

We're not getting anything
accomplished this way.

Well, I'm waiting.

It's out.

Can you make it? Yeah.


Sit down, Lonie.

Artie? Yeah?

You think you can
maneuver this thing?

I can sure try.

All right.

Pull that.

I guess it goes
the other way, huh?

The Juggernaut! The
Juggernaut's coming!

They got the Juggernaut!



This is your last chance
to get out of here alive.

There's only one
way to get us out.

Drive them out!

What do we do, Lyle?
There's so many of them.

We're fighting for
our homes, Victor.

When that machine gets here,
we'll crush them like June bugs.

Can't you get any
more out of her, Artie?

This thing wasn't built to
take that kind of pressure, Jim.

If I give her any more,
she's liable to blow sky-high.

Well, we may be
too late already.

All right, hold tight and
keep your fingers crossed.

You said to fight, Lyle, so
we're fighting. Now what?

Just keep on fighting.

Look, Lyle.

Hold your fire! Hold it!


Jim, she's gonna blow.
There's no stopping her.

I'm getting out of here.

Stay where you are.

Bock and his men are
straight ahead, Artie.

All right, hold on,

I'm turning the
pressure all the way up.

Hold your ground!

Get the Juggernaut.

Lonie, it looks like you're
a well-to-do young lady.

But we sent dispatches

to all the farmers
Bock bought out

offering them their land back.

Bock had land of his own.

You know, with oil property,

it's not the acreage
that's important,

it's the depth.

And most of the farmers
will be coming back

once they learn what they've got

to come back to.

Jim, are you in there?

Come in, Lyle.

Hello, Jim.

Hiya, Lyle.

Miss Lonie.

I'm a one-man delegation.

The boys asked me

to thank you and
Mr. Gordon before you leave.

Lyle, there's no
thanks necessary.

Mr. Gordon. GORDON: Lyle.

Thank you. Oh, come on.

Actually it was kind of
fun in a way, wasn't it?


You're not leaving?

Well, of course I am.

There's no reason for
me to stay, is there?

No, I guess not.

Goodbye, Mr. Dixon.

Except for one thing.

What's that, Mr. Dixon?

I want you to stay.



Come in.

Uh, Mr. West?

That's right, I'm Mr. West.
Won't you please come in?

I'm Virginia Mays.

Uh, Dr. Virginia Mays.

I'm on the staff at
the hospital here.

Doctor, I have no
idea how you found out,

but the pain's
been getting worse.

You see, it's, uh...

It's right here
in this shoulder.

Mr. West, I only stopped by

to deliver a message
from Mr. Gordon.

Well, I should have
known that, doctor.

That's hardly what you'd
wear to make calls, is it?

That's right.

Now if I can just give you
this message from Mr. Gordon?

He said there are
unforeseen complications

at the hospital and...

And he's gonna have to
stay in town a couple days

to convalesce.

How did you know?

Well, you see, Mr. Gordon
had those same complications

the last time he was in town.

It required, um, a day nurse

and a night nurse.

But he did tell you
about my shoulder,

didn't he, doctor?

Your shoulder?

Yeah, as I explained earlier,

the pain is
right... Right there.

No, it's... It's
a little higher.

Here? There.

Mr. West, there's nothing
wrong with your shoulder.

It's in perfect condition.

Yeah, I know that, doctor.

And it's been that way
since I was a little boy.

What am I gonna do with you?

Well, may I suggest dinner,

and then the theater?