The Who Was? Show (2018): Season 1, Episode 4 - Isaac Newton & Amelia Earhart - full transcript

Step aside, producer coming through.

I'm Marie Antoinette.
When I was 19, I was the queen of France.

When I was 19,
I burped the alphabet.

Love to compare,
but I've got a show to produce.

I'm here to help with
today's show. Let me in.

Oh, locking out old Ron, huh? Not cool.

Locked door? Let Bruce Lee handle this.

Brucie.

- Step aside.
- You bet.

Whoa!

Oh, boy.



-What's up, Ron?
-Hey, kiddos.

-Uh, why is there a guy stuck in our door?
-Is there? Oh. I didn't notice.

Gotta run.

- Um... Hey, Brucie.
- Hey.

Mind if I--? Thanks.

-Thanks.
-Who's on the show?

Uh, Isaac Newton and Amelia Earhart.

-I'm here if you need me.
-Noted.

Help me.

♪ They were more than
Just some famous names ♪

♪ They were brilliant, brave
A bit insane ♪

♪ And against all odds
They changed the game ♪

♪ What was going on inside their brains? ♪

♪ These are not your average Joes ♪



♪ They did stuff the whole world knows ♪

♪ They're the superstars
Of The Who Was Show ♪

♪ This is The Who Was Show ♪

♪ This is The Who Was Show ♪

Who was Sir Isaac Newton?

-Please, everyone knows who I am.
-It's possible they've heard your name.

-I am the greatest genius of all time.
-There may be some truth to that.

"May be"?

"May be."

I invented new fields of math
and discovered laws of motion and gravity!

-I'm bored, we're done.
-He did all that while others

thought he was a totally unpleasant human.

Being pleasant is overrated.

My turn.

Who was Amelia Earhart?

A pioneering female pilot who--

Whoa, wait just one hot minute.
I'm not just gonna stand here

-while some faceless man explains my life.
-But that's my job.

Ha! Not anymore it isn't. Mm-mm.

Hit the bricks.

This is unusual.
I'm the Who Was narrator.

The most important part of the show.
Go fly a plane or something.

-"Who was Amelia Ear--?"
-Step aside.

Let's see what a cool modern gal can do.

-Come on out here, Ellie.
-Hello, Jon Benjamin.

Hello. Ellie Kemper's been there
the whole time?

-Yup.
-What is your plan?

Narrating's not as easy as it looks.

-"Who was Amelia--?"
-You have the day off.

-It's Ellie's turn.
-But what do I do?

There's a Thai restaurant nearby.

I do love noodles.

-Try the Pad See Ew.
-Pad See Ew is great. That's a plan.

And so, the official Who Was narrator

started his long walk
to the Thai restaurant,

where he would try Ellie Kemper's
suggestion of the Pad See Ew--

Cut off his mic.

Okay, let's go.

-Okay. I'm ready.
-Wonderful.

Ellie, let's have a proper introduction.

Music, roll tape!

Amelia Earhart
is one of the most extraordinary women.

As a child, she was a thrill-seeker.

As an adult, the first woman
to fly solo over the Atlantic.

A household name,
she even had a fashion line.

Amelia was determined to prove women
were as capable as men.

Tell us,
when did your magnificent mind

first become inflamed
with visions of grandeur?

I was 23 when my father and I
went to an air show.

I remember like it was the next sketch.

Attention.

Look up as we welcome the manly
pilots of the all-men's air show for men.

Father, thank you for coming.

My pleasure. Let's talk about
what to do with your life.

Maybe be a nurse, ooh,
or eventually, a married nurse.

Oh, and how.
That was the bee's knees!

-I'm terribly sorry.
-Amelia.

I know, Father. I want to be a pilot.

Not in 1920.
You shouldn't even wear pants.

Oh, what the--? How dare you?

And now, feast your eyes on this manly act
of man-flying that only a man can do.

Oh, that was impressive,
but a woman could do that.

Hey, we've got a female comedienne
in the audience, which is not allowed.

And now, the most dangerous stunt
any man and no woman,

especially named Amelia,
has attempted,

the one-man double loop-de-loop
of man doom.

I'll show you, announcer.

I'm going to be a lady pilot.
And not just any pilot.

The most famous,

-ladiest pilot that's flown a plane.
-And a nurse?

Oh, hurray.
She saw an airplane with her daddy.

What a milestone for history.

This gets top billing over my famous
falling-apple story,

the moment I discovered gravity
and changed the world?

That story didn't take place.
Historians consider that a legend.

Well, it's a great story.
You've got to do it.

I demand it!

This fruit orchard shall be
the perfect place to sit and think.

Ow! Not conducive to theories.
I'll choose a different tree.

And now, to think.

Ow! I'll never get an idea
with this fruit falling.

Note to self, don't sit under piano trees.

I'm giving you one more chance,
fruit and instrument orchard.

Okay, I've had it!

Wait a second. Apple?

Gravity. Thanks, apple tree.

And no, thanks, banana,
coconut and piano trees.

That's how you handle my story?

You should be ashamed.
I feel sorry for kids watching this.

My mind realized
there's an invisible force

which pulls objects to the ground,
causes the moon to orbit,

and does not cause pianos to fall from
trees, 'cause pianos don't grow on trees.

Hey, Amelia.

Yes, Izzy?

Seeing as you're just a pilot
and not a scientist,

did you understand my theory of gravity?

I think I've got it.

Thanks. We're going to look at
a flea under a microscope.

Yeah.

And now I got to flee.

I'm Robert Hooke. Wash your hair.

Thank you.

Thank you, Robert. Next in the
Royal Society Scientists Got Talent

ultimate showdown final,
Robert Hooke's greatest nemesis

and rival, Isaac Newton.

-Oops. Warmed them up for you, Newt.
-Not my name.

Shoo. Get out of here.

I will now read a long selection in Latin
from my new text

about principles of motion, entitled:

Mathematical Principles
of Natural Philosophy.

Available now at Barnes and Actual Nobles.

Snorefest.

Fine! I was trying
to reveal to you the method

to mathematically predict
motion of a pendulum.

That isn't enough razzle-dazzle!
Let's do it this way.

Here's your razzle-dazzle.
Open the curtain.

I'll show you how a pendulum works.

This scientist's got talent.

Round of applause
for our winner, Isaac Newton.

What--?

Oh, no!

I'd like to thank me and nobody else.

That's the best book I've seen.

Oh. Mind passing me an apple?

I am the number one scientist.

Not a waiter!
Get out of my way, peasant.

-So rude.
-I can't defend his manners,

which are an off-time jive,
but part of me gets him.

Why? You're nicer and hygienic.

We're trailblazers who don't want nobody
telling us what to do.

And how?

People said I wasn't a woman the right way
and he wasn't a scientist the right way.

-See? You on the trolley?
-I get everything but the trolley.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

I overheard you talking about trailblazers
and impressive people.

I'll throw my name in. Oh.

Sorry. Because, ahem...

I can burp the alphabet. Here we go.

Ron, please don't. Please. Don't.

- A, B, C, D, E--
- Ron.

It's people like you
who inspire me to fly.

Far, far away.

-Take me with you.
-Well, it's your loss. Here we go.

I'm surprised Ron knows the alphabet.

Bonjour, je suis Monsieur Tidbits.

Amelia Earhart dedicated much time
to make air travel available to everyone.

So, in honor of her, I am here
with some tidbits about airline history.

The first-ever commercial flight
was on January 1st, 1914.

It lasted 23 minutes
and had one passenger.

London to Singapore,
which takes eight hours today,

would have taken nine days in 1934,
with 20 separate layovers.

Early planes were so bouncy and filled
with fumes, most passengers got sick.

Because of that, the first
flight attendants were nurses.

Today, air travel is calm, safe,
and comfortable for all.

Thank you, Mademoiselle Earhart.

Tidbits delivered, tidbits enjoyed,
Tidbits out.

At Cambridge University,
Newton had the same roommate for 20 years.

Can you imagine putting up with him
for 20 years? We can and we did.

Newton. This room's a mess.

-What's with the prisms?
-Proving light can be refracted into color

and back into white light
doesn't just happen, Bartholomew.

And look at all these dishes.
They've been there for days.

By not touching the dishes,
I'm proving Newton's first law of motion:

An object at rest will remain so
unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

-You're an unbalanced force.
-Ha! Good one.

Okay, you'll clean those
if I have to force you to.

Boom. Second law:

Acceleration is when a force
acts upon a mass. Greater the mass,

greater the force
needed to accelerate. Thanks.

-Thanks, pillow.
-Now Newton's third law of motion:

For every action,
there's an equal and opposite reaction.

How is that equal, bro?

-Hey, Izzy.
-What is it now?

Boy, do I love your gravity stuff.

♪ Amelia ♪

♪ You showed us
What a real lady can do ♪

♪ In her airplane she felt so free ♪

♪ And you inspired all of us
To be our own heroes, too ♪

♪ Soaring for equality ♪

♪ You set the record
For the highest flight ♪

♪ Then the fastest, the longest
And then one night ♪

♪ You crossed the whole ocean
Something only men had done before ♪

♪ Kickin' down that door ♪

♪ 'Cause you're an aviator ♪

♪ We'll just call you ♪

♪ The Aviator ♪

♪ You gathered all the women pilots
You could find ♪

♪ Counted and said
"We'll call ourselves the 99's" ♪

♪ Thanks to you they exist
To this very day ♪

♪ You didn't just rewrite the record books
You lit the way ♪

♪ They didn't know what box
To fit you to ♪

♪ But I do ♪

♪ You're an aviator ♪

♪ We'll just call you ♪

♪ The Aviator ♪

Oh, okay, so, Ms. Earhart
gets her own song, does she?

How about a song about me?
About the happiest time in my life?

The plague infected all of England.

-They closed the universities.
-It's spread by human contact.

And those flea-covered rats.

Anything we can do?

Stay as far away from people
as you possibly can.

Oh. I could watch this all day
with this reflective telescope

that I invented.

Because...

♪ I'm very happy about this plague ♪

♪ Illness is here and it's here to stay ♪

♪ I'm a super-genius
Who needs his space ♪

♪ Death is everywhere, I don't care ♪

-♪ Baby, and by the way ♪
-♪ 'Cause I'm alone ♪

♪ Now I can sit at home
And write theories ♪

♪ Without the fuss
'Cause I'm alone ♪

♪ Finally, I can invent some math
That's called "calculus" ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm alone ♪

♪ With all my spare time
I'll sit and study gravity, too ♪

-♪ 'Cause I'm alone ♪
-♪ Working solo is so fun ♪

♪ That's what I wanna do ♪

♪ Alone, alone, alone ♪

♪ Alone, alone, alone ♪

♪ Can't make me make a friend
You can't make me make a friend ♪

♪ Can't make me make a friend
Can't make me make a friend ♪

♪ Let me tell you
No, I don't wanna hang out with you ♪

♪ Or you or you or you ♪

Leave me alone.

How many of my friends
does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Trick question.
I don't have friends.

Hey, Amelia.

You became a fashion designer,
but I, too, had my own sense of style.

Amelia? Amelia?

Amelia's missing, gotta find her!

I don't have to participate
in this joke wall?

Great. Now back to being alone.

Great episode.
I love how we ended it on a cliffhanger.

Everybody will tune in to see
where we find Amelia.

Uh, Ron, nobody knows where Amelia is.

They don't? Okay.
So, what happened to her?

In 1937,
she tried to fly around the world.

Crossing the Pacific,
she planned to stop on Howland Island

but never arrived.

-I know. She landed on Grarpnarp Island.
-Gardner Island?

-Yeah.
-Possibly. Computer, enhance.

- Whoa! Technology, right?
- Nothing.

-They did find a skeleton.
-Great. Was it hers?

They lost it, so, we don't know.

-I heard aliens abducted her.
-Who'd believe that?

Don't dismiss it.
I wanna know, did aliens take her?

-No.
-There you have it.

They say they didn't.

All right.
When's Amelia coming back?

She's not. She was a pioneer,

pioneers don't always live long.
Their legend lives.

Yeah. I was inspired by Amelia.

I hope I maintain
that spirit of curiosity.

May we be lucky enough
to keep the fire of life burning.

Thank you, Amelia.

-Still here?
-I wanted to say farewell.

It was a pleasure to narrate
for talented kids.

Yeah. And an adult.

Again, kids, it was a true pleasure
to narrate for you.

If you're done narrating the show,
maybe you'd like to narrate my life.

I have a narrator thing to do.

Okay, your loss,
because it is inspiring

what a tight ship I run here.

Ow.

Hey, guys.

-Hey, Susie!
-Yes, Elliot?

What else do you like to spread
besides disease?

Cream cheese on an onion bagel!

- How do you think the show went?
- I was great.

- Did you have a favorite part?
- All the parts I was in.

How is sharing an episode
with Amelia?

Oh, it was an honor...

for her.

- Anything fans should know?
- Hmm, I'm a genius, changed the world,

discovered gravity, smarter than them.
Covered it.

- Did you like the show?
- It's the cat's meow, the duck's quack,

the eel's ankle, a real monkey's eyebrow.
That means I liked it.

Your favorite part?

When I replaced the narrator with a woman.
Women can do what men can.

Why isn't one of you a woman?

How is sharing an episode
with Newton?

My mama always told me, if you can't
say anything nice, don't say anything.

So, any other questions?

Anything you'd like to tell the fans?

Yes, and I cannot stress this enough:

Don't fly to Howland Island.
It's not worth it.