The Bureau of Magical Things (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 12 - Aisle 13 - full transcript

Season 01 Episode 12

Episode Title: "Aisle 13"


Him. I bet he's an elf.

- Peter.
- I'm just asking.

You've been asking all day,
and I'm telling you,

magical people don't go
to human schools.

- You do.
- I go to both.

You're lucky.

Has Ruksy mentioned me?

Peter, forget Ruksy.
Forget everything you saw.

Don't talk about it...
to anyone... ever. Okay?

- Alright.
- Promise?

Yes, I promise.

- See you later.
- Off to your other school?

- Peter.
- Sorry.

Hey, Mattie, what's up?

You know what we haven't
done in ages? A sleepover.

- I guess.
- My dad's away

for the weekend and Mum's
at some conference thing,

so I was thinking maybe
tomorrow night?

How about it? It'll be fun.

Sure, why not?

Kyra, are you okay?

Um, yeah, fine.

See you then.


Anyone here?

Aisle 13, Kyra.

- What's going on?
- I think Ladder's developed

a sense of humor.

That's not possible.

You know something about this?

I... had a dream about it.

You dreamt
you were stacking books.

I dreamt I was in the library

and... books were
flying off the shelves.

They were stacking up
just like this.

You did magic
without being here.

Like when you sent
the message

when you and Darra were
trapped in the beach.

What's going on, Professor?

Hard to say, I've never seen
anything like this.

I thought you knew everything.

I have been known to give
that impression,

but... in this case,
I'm flummoxed.

I know this book, it's the one
I was touching when I got zapped

by Lily and Imogen.

Kyra, are you alright?!

I'm fine.

Whoa, what was that?


- That's our teacher.
- Or was.

- What did you do to him?
- I didn't do anything,

it just happened!

Transformation magic,
that's senior level.

You have to get him back.

- How?
- I don't know,

we haven't studied

Poor Professor Maxwell.

What are we going to do?

It's Mathilda,
we're having a sleepover.


- Hi, Mattie.
- Hey! I'm at yours.

Where are you?

Um, you weren't supposed
to come over 'til 5.

Mum dropped me off early.
When will you be here?

I'm just finishing
some stuff I had to do.

It's no problem.
Your dad's here, he let me in.

I've made myself at home.


See you soon!

You can't
be with Mathilda.

What if you turn her
into a guinea pig?

She's at my house,
I have to go.

Imo and Lily, go with Kyra.

If anything happens, you can
help with damage control.

Ruksy, we need to find
a counter-spell

to help the professor get back

and he can work out
what's going on with Kyra.

Well, well,
look at the boss man.

Got a better idea?

Hi, Dad. Hey, Mattie.
Sorry I took so long.

I was on the way home and I ran
into a couple of friends.

This is Lily and Imogen.

Meet Mathilda and my dad.

- Hi.
- Nice to meet you, girls.

I feel like I've met you
guys before.

Oh, they came to our game
with the Gazelles.

Total basketball tragics.

I've invited Lily and Imogen
to the sleepover.

I thought it was just
gonna be the two of us.

It was, but when I ran
into them, I thought,

"The more the merrier."

Come on, Mattie, it'll be fun.

O... kay.

Did I say how pleased
I was to meet you?

Because I really, really am.

What's going on?

Am I doing this?

Don't worry,
I've got you covered.

There you go, comfy house.

And you can borrow my PJs.

Oh, pretty, thanks.

- Where's your stuff?
- It was a last-minute thing.

- Where do you live?
- Close.

So, why don't you go home
and get something?

Not that close.

What school do you guys go to?

You wouldn't know it,
it's kind of small. Boutique.


Sorry to interrupt.

Kyra, can we have a word
before I go?

What do your parents do?

- Uh... Mum's a vet.
- Oh.

- And Dad's a... policeman.
- Does he work with Kyra's dad?

I wouldn't know.

And... Imogen's dad is a...

Uh... he...

sells basketballs.

And... your mother?


She cuts hair.

She works in a salon
and cuts hair and toenails.

Um... let's see
where Kyra's got to.

You should've asked me first,
Kyra, I don't know these girls.

Sorry, Dad,
it was all a bit of a rush.

Well, do their parents
even know they're here?

I should call them.

They're working, probably
not a good idea to disturb them.

- Yeah, but I...
- Dad, just... stop stressing.

You better scoot,
you don't wanna be late.

Well, have fun.

No offense, Kyra,

but your friends
are kind of weird.

Look, I know they're
a little... unusual,

but they're really nice.

Trust me, you just...
have to get to know them.

Wooh, I'm hungry,
how about we get dinner started?

If we can't
turn Maxwell back,

we'll have to tell the DMI.

- We can't.
- We can't leave him

as a guinea pig.
We can't let the DMI find out

it was Kyra who turned him
into one either.

Have you forgotten
when Orla was here?

She wanted to banish Kyra.

I'm not giving anyone
a reason to do that.

So we keep looking. Got it?

So... here's tonight's menu.

One Hawaiian pizza,
though I cannot understand

why anyone would want
fruit on their pizza.

Put the pineapple on my half.

And one vegetarian pizza.

Lily and Imogen,
you can make that one.

Just chop up some veggies
and put them on the base.

- What was that?
- What?

- That capsicum just moved.
- No, it didn't.

Yes, it did, I saw it.

Oh, that was me.

"Hello, I'm Carly Capsicum,
pleased to meet you."

And I'm... Charlie Capsicum.

- We're Carly and Charlie!
- The vegetable twins!

We love to sing,
we love to dance

We love to twirl,
we love to prance

Sing, dance!

Twirl, prance!

We're the vegetable twins!

You two are so funny!
Aren't they funny, Mathilda?


Knock-knock! Imogen!
What if I'd been Mathilda?

Little circles round and round,
little circles up and down,

that's the way.

Do you want me to show you
how to brush yours, too?

I'll pass, thanks.

Are you two... finished?

I don't know how much longer
we can keep this up.

Especially when a certain
person is so careless.

That's how I always
brush my teeth.

Do you think Darra and Ruksy

found a way
to turn Maxwell back?

- If they had, they'd be here.
- They better hurry up,

otherwise Mathilda
will see something.

If only
she'd go to sleep.

- Sleeping spell.
- No spells.

Just a... teensy weensy one.

She'll feel wonderful
when she wakes up.

Lily, no spells on Mathil...

- Lily, I'm sorry.
- I'll just change back.

My wand won't appear.
My magic's not working.

I'll make you big again.

Stop, it hurts!
That's not good.

Try again.

You've got ears!

I can't get rid of them.

This is totally
out of control.

- What do we do?
- Shut you in a cupboard.

You're a menace.

- What was that?
- What's what?

There's something
on your dresser.

- There's nothing on my dresser.
- No, nothing at all.

So why are you both
standing there?

I was showing Imogen how nice
my room looks from this angle.

way better than over there.

- Must be the light.
- Must be.

Why are you wearing a beanie?

- Bad hairdo.
- Head cold.


Um, where's Lily?
She went for a walk.

Now? It's dark.

She wasn't feeling very well.

She seemed fine before.

It came on really fast.

- Was it because of my pizza?
- I'm sure it wasn't.

I'll go check on her.
I'll try the library.

I don't think it will be open.

Our school library is.

Why would she go to the school
library if she feels sick...

at night... in your pajamas?

If it helps her
feel better, why not?

Well, it's no more weird
than anything else they do.

So, how do you know them?

I told you, I met them
at the basketball final.

Hey, how about some ice cream?

I couldn't, I am full.

Kyra shrunk Lily,

I've got ears,
and we're both visible,

so you better tell me

the professor's not
a guinea pig anymore.

I wish we could, but...
as you can see...

- You lost him?
- He was here a moment ago.

Well, find him.

- Professor!
- Professor!


- Are you glued to that dresser?
- No, I just like it here.

- Kyra, what is your problem?
- Problem?

You've been acting
strange all night.

Although, not as strange
as your kooky friends.

Look, I was really hoping

- that we could talk...
- Did you find Lily?

Uh, Lily wasn't
at the library.

The poor little guinea pig
seems to have disappeared.

if she's feeling sick,

she's probably gone home.

- You're right.
- So... I guess it's bedtime.

I should put these
in the wash.

You're doing your washing now?

They're a bit pungy.

Wouldn't want the smell
to keep you awake!

Imogen, why don't you
keep Mathilda company?

Back soon.

Isn't this
a great sleepover?

- Maxwell.
- Professor Maxwell.

He's a guinea pig,
he can't answer us.

Maybe he'll recognize
our voices

and come looking for us.

It's okay, we'll find him.

Stay away, I don't want
anything to happen to you.

I'm gonna try down here.

- Professor?
- Professor?



Are you gonna stay there
all night?

Um... I'm...
doing some stretches.

That's no good,
let me show you.

- No!
- Why not?

- What is on the dresser?
- Nothing.

I need to take this.

A little privacy, please?

Hey, Mum, I'm at Kyra's.

Do you mind? It's personal.

No problem.

Mum, it's okay, I get it.

You and Dad tried to make it
work but you couldn't.

Yes, I know that you both
still love me.

Lots of kids have parents
who get divorced,

it's... no big deal.

No, the announcement just
was a bit sudden, that's all.

I'm fine. Honestly.

It's all good here.
Um... we had pizza.

Look, I should go, um...

I love you, Mum.


Professor Maxwell?




Professor? Don't... move.



Don't... move... please.

How long have you been
standing there?

Are you okay?

I think so.

I'm sorry I turned you
into a guinea pig, Professor.

I didn't mean to,
it just... happened.

That would explain
my craving for carrots.

What did you do
to turn him back?

I don't know.

All she did was touch
the conjuring book.

I know things have been
a little strange tonight,

and what you really wanted
was to talk to Kyra.

How do you know?
Were you listening?

No, of course not.

But if you want someone
to talk to about your parents...

So you were listening.
It's none of your business.

No, Mathilda, I just...

I could tell it was something
sad because you looked sad.

I know Kyra's your best friend,
but I'm a really good listener.

- So, what do you do?
- When I feel sad...

- How's Lily?
- All good.

She's in there with Mathilda.

On her own?

- What?
- His arm.

Here's another one.

Why do elves make
good listeners?

- Why?
- Because they're all ears.

- Sorry I was gone so long.
- It's fine.

Lily and I got to talking.
It's just what I needed.

If you needed to talk,
you should've said.

There was never a right time.
Plus, Lily's been amazing.

It's like we've been friends

- Replaced me, have you?
- Never in a million years.

We should totally
do this again.

What do you say, Imogen?

Yeah. We should.

To sleepovers.

When I was looking
at that book,

I saw a... glowing sphere.

Any idea what that means?

The mind does play tricks.

It's likely the product of
the stress that you were under,

all the random magic going on.

I guess.
But why a glowing ball?

Why did you turn me
into a guinea pig?

I don't know.

Any other random events
since yesterday?

No, whatever it was seems
to have settled down.

But I still can't help thinking
it's somehow

connected to that book.

Of course, I'll look into it.

But I'm certain that the book

has absolutely nothing
to do with it.

Okay, Professor,
you're the expert.

But just to be
on the safe side,

I think we should skip class
for a few days

until I've had time to...
look into this properly.

If you think I should.


Take this to the restricted
section, keep it safe.

No one is to touch it.

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