The Big Bang Theory (2007–…): Season 8, Episode 24 - The Commitment Determination - full transcript

As Sheldon presses Leonard and Penny to set a wedding date, he encounters major changes in his relationship with Amy. Meanwhile, Raj wonders if he should break up with Emily, and Howard and Bernadette struggle to ask Stuart to move out.

Can you believe it's been
five years since our first date?

I know.

Do you think I should start
watching The Flash TV show?

That's what
you're thinking about?

Well, one of the things.

Are any of them me?


I thought, “I can't decide

“if I should watch
The Flash TV show.

I know, I'll ask Amy.”


What are you doing?

You're right, you did
kind of kill the mood.

I didn't kill anything.

You did, talking about
your stupid TV show.

Excuse me.

Starting to watch a television
show that might run for years

isn't a decision
to take lightly.

I'm wrestling with

a big commitment issue here.


That's the commitment issue
you're wrestling with?


do you understand the irony

of your fixation on a man
with super speed,

while after five years
all I can get out of you

is a distracted make-out session
on a couch?

Irony's not really
my strong suit.

But I have been getting better
with sarcasm,

if you want to give that a try.

Oh, sure, I'd love to.

Whenever you're ready.

♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪

♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

♪ Bang! ♪

♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x24 ♪
The Commitment Determination
Original Air Date on May 7,

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

I don't want to rush you,

but I'm closing
a little early tonight.

Ooh. Hot date?

Uh, no. I overheard
Bernadette tell Howard

she was making him a meat loaf,

and you don't have
to not ask me twice.

If I stick a lightbulb on this,
wouldn't it make a great lamp

for my bedroom?

You're kidding, right?

Oh. Is this freaking you out?

I guess I'm just more
of a Pottery Barn,

Crate and Barrel kind of guy.

Maybe Pier 1
if I really want to cut loose.

All right. Never mind.

No, no, no.
Hey, you should totally get it.

In fact, I'll buy it for you.


Raj, you don't have to do that.

Too late!
No returns!

That was really intense.

Well, now we know, next time
we go to the farmers' market,

the order is petting zoo first,
then buy vegetables.


Oh, good. You're here.
I need your assistance.

Can it wait until I put
a Band-Aid on a goat bite?

What happened?

Your buddy got mugged
by some baby farm animals.

Been there.

So what do you need help with?

Amy's mad at me,
and I'm not clear why.

Okay. Were you talking
before she got upset?

That's probably it.

What'd you say to her?

Well, I just asked her
if I should start watching

the new Flash TV series.

And that made her angry?

Baffling, right? We were necking

like a couple of hooligans
under the school bleachers.

I stopped so I could ask
the question.

Next thing I know, good-bye,
kissy face. Hello, yelly face.

Well, Sheldon, when
you're kissing a girl,

she expects the
attention to be on her.

It was. I asked her

if she thought
I should watch The Flash.

Yeah. I'm tapping out.

I'm gonna guess that your main
concern is the time commitment

of watching an entire season
of a new show.

Oh, no, not just a season.

If I'm in,
I'm in for the whole run,

even if the quality declines.

I get it.
Smallville almost wrecked you.

Yeah. Exactly.

You know, I waited ten years

to see a guy
everyone knows can fly, fly.

Wait, what is wrong
with you two?

He was talking about television
during their date night.

Oh, not just date night--
our fifth anniversary.

Okay, see, that's even dumber
than you wondering

if being bitten by a goat would
give you the powers of a goat.

If that happens,
don't make me wait ten years

to watch you eat a tin can.

You guys ever notice that Emily
has a bit of a twisted side?

You mean
'cause she has weird tattoos?

No, because she wants to have
sex with me in a graveyard.

One more time?

She and I were supposed to watch

the new Avengers movie tonight,
but it was sold out.

So I said,
“What else do you want to do?”

She said,
“Let's go to a cemetery

and do it on somebody's grave.”

Like, a random person
or somebody she knew?

What difference
does it make?

Well, if it's

her father's grave
and they didn't get along,

then you know
she holds a grudge.

The only issue is that everybody
has their own thing.

And as long
as it's two consenting adults,

I guess
I don't see the harm in it.

Well, what if it's
one consenting adult

and one adult who
pretends to consent

because he's afraid
of being alone?

Well, then I guess
bring a blanket.

The grass gets damp at night.

I don't know, guys.

Maybe this relationship
isn't for me.

Maybe I should break up
with her.

(chuckles) Right. You're gonna
break up with a girl

who has sex with you.
Can you believe this guy?

I think if Raj wants to break up
with a girl, he can do it.

How are you saying that
with a straight face?

I don't know.

You guys are being jerks.

Buddy, other than Jenny Craig,

you've never broken up
with a girl in your life.

You're one
to talk.

You've been complaining
about Stuart

living here for the past year.

I don't see you showing him
the door.

That's not the
same thing.

Emily's a person.

Stuart's more like
an infestation,

something you spray for.

Baloney, okay?
You two are

as afraid of hurting
someone's feelings as I am.

That's not true. We were just
laughing right in your face.

Thanks for cooking.
Mmm. My pleasure.

That carrot was delicious.

I wish I'd fought harder
for the rest of 'em.

Still haven't heard
from her?

No, and I'm confused.

It's been nearly 24 hours.

Amy should have figured out
she's wrong by now.

Hey, I don't think she's wrong

about you going too slow
in the relationship.

Too slow?

Yeah, you've been
going out

for years.
You haven't even slept together.

That's right.
It's called foreplay.

And I could make the case

that you two aren't moving
forward in your relationship.




No. Sheldon,
we're getting married.

But you've been engaged
for over a year now,

and you don't even have
a wedding date.

Well, we will. We're
just not in a rush.


We're gonna set a date.

Okay. If you say so.

Yeah, it's just, things are good right now.
Really good.

I'm focusing on my job.
And we've been busy with our paper.

So busy.

Yeah, we'll pick a date
when we pick a date.



You know, I can see
why Amy's mad at you.

Yeah, shut up,

Did you eat
all my yogurt?

You mean the one that
makes ladies do the thing

that ladies pretend
they don't do

even though they do?

You know...

which yogurt I mean.

I didn't touch it.
Must have been Stuart.

Maybe Raj is right.

Maybe it's time we tell him
he needs to move out.

We should have done
it months ago.

I know, but his store
was reopening,

and then there were the
holidays, and then he was sick.

Yeah, right.

Sick. He didn't have jaundice.

He just looks like that.

All right.
Tonight's the night.


When he gets home, I'm
dropping the hammer.

Ooh, I like
when you take charge.

Oh, I'm not taking charge--
you're the hammer.


why haven't we
picked a date?

You know why.

Well, of course I know why.

But just for fun... why?

Not in a rush, busy with work...

Things are good right now.
Really good.

You still want
to get married, right?

Oh, my God. Yes.
Why would you even ask that?

I don't know.
Because we don't have a date?

Well, you want a date,
pick a date.

It's not just the date.

We haven't talked
about anything.

Big wedding, small wedding,
indoor, outdoor...

Outdoor? Oh.
I can RSVP no right now.

Okay, indoor it is.
Big or small?

Is your dad paying for it?
I doubt it.

Okay, two friends each.

All right, well,
I want it in a church.

Fine. I want black-tie.

I want to release butterflies.

Seriously? Airborne worms?

Okay. Well, then it's settled:

small indoor church wedding,
black-tie, no butterflies.

Sounds perfect.

You still
didn't pick a date.

Stay out of it!
Shut up!

Mmm. It's a beautiful night.

Oh, yes, we've
got the moon

and the trees and...

Elizabeth McNulty,

who apparently died
when she was the same age I am.

Makes you feel
alive, doesn't it?

So does enjoying a meal
at a well-lit restaurant,

but here we are.

You aren't scared, are you?

Of ghosts, no.

Of you, little bit.

I'm sorry I've
upset you.

I shouldn't have asked
so many questions.

No, it's okay.

Yeah, maybe it's good
you got us

talking about this stuff.

Well, look at that--

even when I'm causing problems,
I make the world a better place.

Hey, next, why don't we tackle
your penchant for whining

and Penny's love
of the ol' glug-glug?

Uh, Sheldon, I think
we're good for now.

Ah, well... very well.

So does this mean you'll
finally pick a wedding date?

Here we go again.

Why is everyone so concerned
with us setting a date?

We're committed to
each other. We're happy.

A ceremony isn't gonna
change anything.

So you're never getting married?

It's his whining, isn't it?

Sheldon, I'm not a whiner.

It's amusing
that he doesn't hear it.

Look, all she's saying
is we are in love

so it doesn't matter
if we get married

tomorrow or a year from now
or 50 years from now.

Ew, 50?
We'll be old and gross.

Yeah, but we'll be old
and gross together.

My aunt and uncle

were married 63 years.

Towards the end, it was
like watching cheese melt.

Um... I'm
free tonight.

Are you saying
you want to get married?

Vegas isn't
that far away.

I'm in. Let's do it.

(squeals quietly)

After all these years.

I'm really happy
for the two of you.

Oh, thank you.

Now get out of my spot.

Bernie, Stuart just pulled up.

So remember,

the key is to be firm.

Show no weakness.

Good luck.

Howard Joel Wolowitz,
you get back here.

(mutters) Never should have
told you my middle name.

Hey, guys.
Hey, you got a minute?

Sure. Uh, let me just put
this stuff in the fridge.

I felt bad for finishing
your yogurt, so I bought more.

And, Howard, your favorite
fruit is in season.

Crunch Berries.

Don't let that sway you.

It's hard not to. They taste so
much better than real berries.

What's up?

So... we need to talk.

You okay?

I think we should talk.

Is everything okay?

Well... you've been
living here a while now.

I know.
I may sell comic books at work,

but the real superheroes

are sitting
right in front of me.


His middle name is David. Go.

Look, I care about you a lot,

but we are very
different people.

Are you breaking up with me?

No, no, I'm just
pointing out that

you're dark on the inside
and I'm dark on the outside.

So, anyway,
what I'm trying to say is...

(phone rings)

You need to take that?

It's just my dad,
probably calling

to wish me a happy birthday.

I'll call him back.

You were saying?

Look, Raj, be honest with me.

If you want to end things,
just do it.

Don't expect me
to do it for you.

End things? I'm trying to
tell you that I love you.

♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪

Wow, there's
a Denny's in Vegas

you can actually
get married in.

Doesn't sound very romantic.

Yeah, but we could get
heart-shaped pancakes.

I'm sure we'll find
a decent chapel.


This is crazy!
I know!

You think people
are gonna be mad?

Maybe. But this isn't
about them; it's about us.

It is.
It is about us.

And you know what
the best part is?

We took our time.

I mean, we met, we were friends
for a couple years,

then we got together,
and then we got untogether,

then we worked out
all our problems,

and now we know
everything about each other,

we can just go forward with
no surprises and no regrets.

No surprises.

And no regrets.


well, there-there's
one thing

I feel I should tell you.


You know, so we
can go into this

with no secrets
between us.


Remember, uh,
a couple years back

when I was on that research ship
in the North Sea?

Okay, well,

there-there was a
lot of drinking

and craziness going on...
No, you told me.

Okay, um...

Well, there was this girl.

What did you do?


It was just kissing.

And then what?
And then nothing.

I stopped it.

But it still bothers me, and...

I wanted you to know.


All right.

Did you ever do anything
like this since we've been...?

Nope, never.
Oh, that's too bad.

You know, can I ask you a question?

Why are you
telling me this now?

Well, like I said,
we're about to get married,

and I-I want a clean slate.

No secrets.

Be-Because to me,

it seems like
we're about to get married

and you're trying
to sabotage it.

W-Would you rather
I didn't tell you?

No, I don't want there
to be secrets between us.

See, now I'm confused.

I mean, what-what
am I supposed to do?

Uh, keep your mouth
off other women.

I can do that.

Uh, uh, f-from now on,

this mouth--
you and food, that's it.




Look, I'm not happy
this happened,

but I think
I can get past it.

I mean, we weren't
engaged at the time,

and it was just kissing.


Just kissing.

It wasn't even very good.

She was a smoker.
I'd just been seasick...

Okay, that's enough.
Stop talking.


we're still
getting married?


Because we love each other.


And it's the happiest day
of our lives.

(short laugh)
Don't push it.

(line ringing)



Listen, I've been
thinking a lot

about relationships

and how difficult they can be,
and I think...

I've been thinking
about them, too, Sheldon.

Being your girlfriend
is so challenging.



I've been incredibly patient
for years.

Strongly disagree.

Go on.

Okay, well...

this isn't easy to say,
because I love you,


I need some time
to take a step back

and reevaluate our situation.


I hope you understand.


Bye, Sheldon.

Well, Gollum...'re an expert on rings.

What do I do with this one?

== sync, corrected by elderman ==