Common Law (2012): Season 1, Episode 6 - Performance Anxiety - full transcript

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---
We better be right about this.

We've got half the LAPD
out here on a hunch.

Cobb's gonna go on the lam.

His car's parked here.
He'll show.

Care to make it interesting?
Five bucks.

Five bucks? That doesn't sound
like the wager

of a confident man.
I was thinking more like 20.

All units, we have a visual

on the suspect.
Fleeing pursuit.

He just turned right
onto Carlisle Street.

You owe me 20.
No. We never agreed on terms.



Freeze! Don't move. Cops.

Don't mo...

♪ ♪

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Whoa.
Help!

Help!

Come on, man, help me up.

There'd be a lot less
paperwork if he fell.

Come on, bro, help.

I bet you didn't know
that you

were being chased
by a high school state champion

long jumper, did you?
Just help me up, man.

You know, I'm starting
to question



that whole story, Travis,
Help!

'cause I jumped
as far as you did,

I got big-boy shoes on.

What are you talking about, man?
I beat you by three feet.

You did not beat me by three feet.
Kate,

Amy, didn't I beat him
by three feet?

You guys are insane.

Thank you.

I confess, bro.

I did it.

I don't care about going to prison,
just don't let me fall.

Oh crap.

Come on, man.

Come on.

It's just...

every morning...

Dakota takes her temperature.

And every evening,
when she doesn't

pee a pink plus sign,

I feel like a failure.

Uh, we've been trying
for a long time now.

And the pressure to...

uh, perform,
has really just...

Last night, I...
couldn't get it...

Oh!

Aw, come on, man.

Travis, you uncomfortable
with this discussion?

Yeah, yeah, I think
we all are.

Well, this is a safe
place to say anything.

No matter how awkward.

You know, now that you and
Dakota are trying for a baby

sex isn't just
about pleasure anymore.

You know you get into bed,
and suddenly it the final over

of the last innings, and
you've got one bowl left

and you've got
to hit it for a six.

Cricket. No?

British baseball...

It's the bottom of the ninth,

you got two outs,
and, you know,

you have to...

...hit that home run.

Exactly.

It's performance anxiety.

It's very, very common
in the bedroom.

Does anyone else want to share
their experience of it?

Guys?

Ever wilted under pressure?

No.
Nah.

Don't look at me.

Well, I got three kids.

Thanks, guys.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Oh, come on.

Listen, you're making
me look bad

in front of my wife, okay?

I promised her that I
would take her to a nightclub

where she could meet
some famous people.

Excuse me.

Uh, just gonna cut through here.

Pardon me, just a second.
Get to the bar?

Excuse me. Excuse me, please.

Hey, my wife'll have, uh,

one of your appletinis...
Excuse me.

Hey, what can I get you?

You know, honestly,

I don't for the life of me

understand how a human being

can just look you
right in the face

and then pretend
like you're not even there.

And my wife will have

one of your damn appletinis.

Please.

♪Common Law 1x06 ♪
Performance Anxiety
Original Air Date on June 22, 2012

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

♪

So we arrested
Cobb yesterday.

Yeah, we did our job.
Good for us.

I'm just saying.

Getting real close
to 400.

Like real close.

This obsession with records

is a waste of time.
And it's vanity.

In the long run, no one
really cares about records.

I do.

398 arrests.

You're on to something
big here, boys.

Don't think it's gone unnoticed.

Yeah, but can we save the
applause till we actually

get to 400, Cap,
and then not do it then, too?

Come on, Wes.
Enjoy it, huh?

I mean
you get your 400th collar

it'll put you into
the LAPD legion of honor.

There's a lot of
distinguished members in there.

Like me.

Don't tell me you guys
haven't been keeping count.

No. We have.
He has.

So have we.

I got a little something
I want to show you.

We devised
a little something

to keep track of your progress.

Every time you make an arrest...

we rip one of those off.

Countdown.

Ooh.

Yeah. Beats focusing
on important things.

That's for sure.

You're right.

Here's what's important:

Case just come in.

This one's gonna put you
into the record books.

Couple walked into
Club Firmament

last night...

and robbed the place.
There's two of them.

You know what that means?

Yeah, I think we both know
what that means.

Everybody knows what it means.

Okay, happy boy.
Go get it.

I don't know. I mean,

there's not really
too much more I can tell you

than what you see here.

They just looked pretty...

normal.

Normal how?

Like, uh, could you
just be a little more specific?

Well, they definitely
weren't from here.

He had an accent.

Like, after I gave the guy's
wife his drink he said,

"Sorry I had
to point my gun at you, ma'am.

But I just got so
burlin' mad."

Burlin' mad?

Yeah.
He said it just like that.

I used to study

dialects at the Actor's Commune.

Did she have the same accent?
Actually...

she never said anything.

He was just holding her
by the arm the whole time.

Oh, and when he was pointing
the gun at me,

I noticed that he had this

silver bracelet on his wrist.

It had a bunch of charms
on it like an ace,

a heart, a club--
you know, like playing cards.

And then when I gave his wife
the appletini,

I noticed that she had
the exact same one.

No.
Yeah.

You know, you look
kind of familiar to me.

Have you been in here before?

Me? No. I...

You should come by sometime.

I'll hook you up
with a drink.

Dude, you have no game

whatsoever.

That girl was totally
hitting on you

and you just...

you just sat there
taking notes.

The wannabe actress?

Are you kidding me?
Does that look like my type?

... I don't
care if she's your type.

She was hot.
You're single.

You gotta hop back
on the horse at some point, man.

Well, when I find
a horse

that I want to ride,

then I will-- You know what?

I'm not even gonna pursue
this metaphor anymore.

Let's get back
to Bonnie and Clyde.

From the South.

Both like to play bridge.

How you know that?
The silver bracelets they had on,

they had every suit
of card on them.

They give those out
to bridge tournament winners.

Bonnie and Clyde aren't
just from anywhere down South.

They're from around
that Texas Panhandle.

And how, perchance,
do you know this?

Well, I used to date this chick
who moved here

from Amarillo.

She used to say "url"
for "oil,"

and "burl" for "boil."

Clyde said he was "burlin' mad."

That's that
Texas Panhandle talk.

All right.

So Texas Panhandle,

bridge champions...

we can work with that.

Whoa! What are you doing?

I'm tired of that thing
hovering over my head.

It's distracting.

I like it.

You know I like it.

All right?

You nervous?

No, I'm not nervous.

Father never took a day
off of work

in his entire life,
he never asked

anybody to make
a poster for him.

I am talking about focusing
on your work, okay?

And speaking of

focusing on your work...

Ah! See? Told you
they were from Texas.

Yeah, but I actually figured
out who they are.

Jim and Maria Bergen.

Man, they a long way
from home.

Yeah. We should
check local hotels.

They stole 15 grand.

Wherever they're staying,
they're paying cash.

Yeah, but they still
have to put down

a credit card for incidentals.

Do you think
they'd be dumb enough

to use their actual credit card?

Do they look like
criminal masterminds to you?

Well said.

Let's call geek squad and get
them to run a credit card screen

to see what shakes loose.

Don't do that cop talk.

Hotel desk clerk says
that they're in room 110.

He thinks they're
in the room right now.

This is it.

No, this is just
another takedown, okay?

We've done this
a million times.

Actually, we've done
it 398 times...

Stop doing that.
Stop counting.

This is simple.
It's a courtyard hotel.

Everything's built
around a swimming pool.

So it's, like,
Whack-A-Mole.

I lead my team to the
front of room 110,

they flush out, you and your guys
grab 'em in the back.

Got it?

Whack-A-Mole. Got it.

All units, we're
ready to roll.

Hey. Simple.

Yeah.

♪

What are you doing here?
What am I doing here?

I got the front.
What are you doing here?

This is the back.

It's the front.
Everybody knows

the front of
a courtyard hotel

is the side facing
the swimming pool.

Why are you here!
Do you see a front door here?

That is a front door!

Hey!

They're headed
for the garage.

Stop the car! LAPD!
Police!

Somebody run the plates on the car!
Yes, sir.

What the hell just happened?

You want to know
what just happened?

It's just like
Dr. Ryan said--

bottom of the ninth, two outs,
you got that performance anxiety!

Oh!

Hello, early birds.
Sorry, I'll be right with you.

Dakota, Peter,
how's it going?

Hey.

Well... it didn't
work, so...

You know what,
I feel you.

I think I finally recognized
what you guys are going through.

That's interesting,
Travis-- last time we met

you couldn't relate to what

they were going through at all.
What changed?

Are we starting now?
I thought we had

five minutes
before sharing circles.

Oh, we can talk
while the others arrive.

Listen, earlier

Wes and I had a chance

to achieve a certain
milestone in arrests,

and it pains me to say
that my partner

was unable to perform.

So with all
due respect to Peter,

I think I gained
a valuable perspective

on how Dakota's feeling.

I was not
unable to perform.

I'm Dakota in this situation.
I'm sorry, Peter.

It's a bummer about
what you're dealing with,

but if anyone's Dakota

in Travis's little
analogy here, it's me.

If you guys are struggling
to hit this milestone,

I'm happy
to talk you through it.

In the same way that I'm talking

Peter and Dakota
through their issue.

Doesn't seem
to be working.

It's a process,

and it can't begin until
you stop blaming each other

and start communicating.

That's it?

Whoo. No problem.

You know what, I totally forgive
you for screwing it all up.

Look,
we always blame each other,

and we never
communicate

unless we absolutely have to;
that's how we work.

It's never been a problem.

Until this afternoon.

♪

Excuse me, have you
eaten here before?

Oh, my God, I can't believe
I just said that cheesy line.

It... it wasn't a come-on.

I've just... I've never
stayed in this hotel,

and I have no idea
what's... good here.

It's okay.

I do eat here.

About every night, actually.

Wow, okay.

A man of routine.

Well, I've...
kind of been staying here

for a little
over a year now, so...

Shut up.
You live here?

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess I do.

Wow, now, that-that's...
that's interesting.

I-I travel
constantly for work,

and sometimes it feels
like I live in hotels,

but... I've never met
a literal hotel dweller.

We're rarely seen in nature.

Well, I'm glad I caught you
in your watering hole.

Well, this isn't permanent.
It's just

been a year?

You know,

the one thing I hate
about traveling is eating alone,

so maybe tomorrow night
I won't have to.

♪ Doesn't know
that I'm a player ♪

♪ Doesn't know that
I'm a player ♪

♪ Doesn't know
that I'm a player... ♪

♪

♪ Ba-ba, ba-da, boo.

No game whatsoever, huh?

She asked me out
to dinner tonight.

"Carine Thompsen. Executive
Vice President of Sales."

Good for you.

This could be
promising.

Unless, of course, you
get performance anxiety.

I'm not gonna get performance anxiety--
you know why?

Because it's just dinner.

Right.

I'm sure you'll
find way.

Yo, Marks, Mitchell.

That couple you lost yesterday,
just got a call.

They walked into John Spitz
on Rodeo Drive this morning.

Held the place up at gunpoint.

Made off with all
the cash in the register

and about 15 grand worth
of designer clothes.

What's with these two?

Crime spree's usually two high
school dropouts robbing gas stations.

Look at the wife.

She's not looking at doors,

she's not going
through the register.

As partners go, she really leaves
a lot to be desired.

She's kind of
like you, actually.

Maybe she's not
a partner at all.

Maybe... I don't
know, look at her,

she's not talking during the
robbery at the bar.

Jim's holding on to her arm--
it looks like he's holding onto her arm

like he's trying to keep
her from running away.

Wes, Travis.

Join me in my
inner sanctum. Now.

I heard you guys blew a
Whack-A-Mole move yesterday.

Now, that's not like you.

Makes me wonder
if something's up.

It was a mistake;
it won't happen again.

What kind of mistake?
Dr. Ryan says

it's performance anxiety.

So you two have talked about
this in couples counseling?

Unfortunately, yes.

She compared it to, like,
when a basketball player,

you know,
can't make a free throw...

She said baseball.
But yeah.

Maybe you should
listen to her, huh?

She's a brilliant woman.

I told her I thought
you two were the classic

Elizabeth Taylor/Richard Burton
kind of relationship.

The old movie stars?

Yeah. They had an affair
that was roiled with passion.

Truth is,

they hated each other
most of the time.

They couldn't keep their hands off
each other, though.

Like you two-- you fight,
you fight and you fight,

but bam, you make a
collar, there's relief.

There's pleasure,
a little afterglow.

And then the cycle
renews again.

Thanks, Cap.

The question: Which one
of us is Liz Taylor?

Okay, no, no, that...
Please don't.

Get out.
Yesterday,

you were begging
to be Dakota.

Just be Liz.
Be proud.

Oh...

Yeah, ha-ha-ha,
very funny.

Charming.
Oh, this is great.

You know, I usually have
to go to the New Yorker

to find such sophisticated wit.

Hey, just
ignore it, Liz.

Background check
on the Bergens just came in.

Jim Bergen worked for 20
years as a claims adjuster

until his company went broke.

Mitchell.
Man, the CEO looted

everyone's pension fund
on the way out the door.

Thank you for
calling me back.

Just got foreclosed on
two months ago.

Okay.

These guys don't even
seem like criminals to me.

Thank you. If you hear anything
else, let me know.

Are you even listening to me?
No.

That was Maria Bergen's
sister calling me back.

How'd you get her number?
Friends at the Hereford Police Department.

Maria told her that
she was leaving town

and didn't know when
she'd be coming back.

But she did
give her this.

Disposable cell
phone number.

Said to use it anytime she
wanted to get in touch.

Call it, see if
Maria picks up.

All right, so remember,
we need to keep her on the line

for 30 seconds
to triangulate this thing.

30 seconds, Travis. Got that?
Okay. Stop talking.

Okay.

Hello?

Good afternoon,
ma'am.

My name is
Travis Marks,

and I am with the
U.S. Census Bureau.

I just have a
few questions...

Whoever this is...

please help me.

Are you in trouble, ma'am?

Just please call the police.

We are the police.

Oh, thank God.

Look, I only have
a few seconds to talk.

He's in the other room.

Okay, where are you right now?

28 June Street.

Okay, ma'am, we need... Ma'am?

Okay, I need a perimeter.

You're gonna cover the back.
You cover the sides.

I want the place locked down.

Okay?

We're on the same
page here, right?

Just straight up smash-and-grab.

If we don't split up,
we can't screw up, baby.

Go.

♪

LAPD! Put 'em down!

Drop 'em!
Drop 'em!

Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

We're with the security company.

We patrol the houses
we cover in this neighborhood.

We saw people moving around in here.
Where are they now?

They were gone by the time
we got inside.

- We found this on the floor.
- Drop that.

That's evidence.

You got 'em?
Yeah.

"Jim's worse than ever.
He keeps talking about the end.

"I'm worried he's gonna do

something terrible
to me, to us."

I don't think we're
trying to stop a couple

on a crime spree here--
we're trying

to keep a husband
from killing his wife.

For the record,
I fully expect you

to go postal like this one day.

Oh, well, looky who
the cat dragged in.

The boys who just can't seem
to seal the deal.

Whoa. We're only two arrests
away from the Legion of Honor.

And yet, you just missed.

Twice, from
what I hear.

But don't worry about it, boys,
Burton and Taylor,

they had their
rough patches, too.

You know about
the Burton/Taylor thing?

We all do. Captain Sutton
explained it to us

after the time Travis threw your
desk chair out the window.

Did he say who was who?

Okay. Uh, we dug these
out of the house

where Jim and Maria Bergen
were hiding.

Let me wash my hands first.

Now, the place
was undergoing

floor-to-ceiling
renovations,

and the owners didn't
leave anything behind,

so we figured these pills
have to belong to the Bergens.

Hoping you could run a tox
screen, tell us what's what?

Let me see.

Okay, well,
see these little guys?

The white ones?
Those are aspirins.

This is a fish oil supplement,

and these little guys
right here?

That's dexamethasone.

It's an anti-inflammatory,
heavy-duty stuff.

Prescription only.

Doctors prescribe these

for patients
with chronic illnesses:

cancer, Parkinson's,
big-ticket diseases.

So one of the Bergens
is really sick.

It can be, uh, rough.

Gain a V.P., title,
lose a fiance, you know?

Yeah.

But then you never
leave hotels,

so what's,
what's the deal there?

I don't know. I don't know.

I moved in here after I split up
with my wife and haven't left.

Your wife?

My ex-wife. Sorry.
Oh.

Uh, my friend that I went to
college with runs this place,

so, uh, he gives me a deal
and it's pretty good.

So are you planning
on staying here forever?

I don't know.

For a while there, I thought
I might move back home,

but that never really
panned out.

When I was a lawyer...
I was a lawyer

before I became a detective.
Hmm.

I took a case for this kid,
Anthony Padua,

and... it turned out badly.

and I got really obsessed with
it, and my wife, Alex, she...

My ex-wife, Alex. Sorry.

She never really understood

why I switched careers.

As much as I tried
to explain it to her,

she just didn't seem
to understand it.

She kept saying,
'Why can't you be a lawyer?'

and I was like,
'Because I'm a detective now.

I don't know why you can't
understand that, but...'

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

It's just, uh...

I don't know,
you live in a hotel,

you still call
your ex-wife your wife.

Sounds like maybe you
haven't moved on yet.

I've moved on. I'm...

Look, it's adjustment.
I'm adjusting.

A year's worth of adjusting?

I really hope

things work out for you.

Called around to all
the hospitals in Hereford

and Jim Bergen was diagnosed
with A.L.L. six months ago.

Huh.
Yeah.

Leukemia. It's fatal
90% of the time.

So it seems like a weird time
to start a crime spree.

I know, right?

I gotta admit, though,
I feel kinda bad for the guy.

Even if he is
an armed robber.

I mean, he had no job,
he had no insurance, (microwave dings)

couldn't get
the treatment he needed...

Oww!

What's going on, guys?

Nothing.

Just riffing
on a case with Amy.

Oh.
Jim Bergen has leukemia.

I know.

What's up with you?

Me? Nothing.

Come on, man.

The captain tells everybody
he thinks we're a couple,

so you get mad if I bat around
ideas with another detective?

Of course not.

God, you're being so weird.

Stop acting mad.

I'm fine!

You crashed and burned
on your date.

God damn it.

Wow.

You crashed and burned.

So Wes is pissed off at me
because he thinks

that I cheated on him
with some other detective.

That is so ridiculous.

This is not Sweet Valley High.
Yeah, if you're not mad,

then why are you acting
like a douche all day?

Because I'm in
a bad mood, okay?

Is that still allowed?
Is that against the law now?

It happens every day.

I've got this
Legion of Honor thing

hanging over my head, it makes me sick!
So do I! So do I!

If it wasn't for this
stupid round number,

we'd have Jim Bergen
in cuffs days ago.

You're damned right we would.
Hell yeah.

Easy.

Gentlemen,
I'm hearing something

that I rarely hear
from the two of you:

agreement.

You both want
the same thing.

What is stopping you
from getting there?

What happened when you missed
the couple at the hotel?

Well, maybe there's
a chance that I,

I went to the wrong side
of the hotel.

Wes, thoughts?

Surprised,

because maybe I,
you know,

deep in the back
of my mind, I...

I've been wondering
if I didn't go

the wrong side
of the hotel myself.

Do you see what happens when you
stop blaming each other?

Real communication can begin.

That's great. When does
real communication become

actual arrests,
real arrests?

Like I say, it's a process.

Peter, Dakota,

how is the baby-making going?

Better. Good, actually.

We've been, uh... trying
a few new things.

I got a cheerleading outfit.

You do not have to share
the details.

Uh, I think, as long as I'm not,
you know, shooting blanks,

we have a good chance
this month.

It takes a healthy couple
up to a year...

Did Jim Bergen fire
two shots at Firmament?

Did forensics recover
any shell casings?

No. They didn't find any at the
store, either.

Why is he firing blanks?

Sorry, Doctor,
we gotta go.

Work thing.

Yes.

And this is the couple.

That's them.
They seemed nice.

Then these two guys
at another table

started yelling
at their waiter.

He told the man to apologize.

Of course, the guy said
"no," among other things.

Then, that man pulled a
gun, fired it in the air,

and ordered the other
fellow to apologize.

Then he emptied
the register

and made all of us
hand over our wallets.

Did the woman do anything?

Oh, not much. I don't think
I heard her talk once.

When I asked her if she
wanted another drink

while her husband
was in the bathroom,

she shook her head.

Wait, wait.
He left her alone? For how long?

Couple of minutes.
I don't know.

Okay, thank you.

Hey.

Okay, Jim goes to the bathroom.

She's got her window
to run away.

She doesn't do it.
She sits there.

She's either too scared
to run, or she's...

Or she's lying about doing this
against her will.

Did we find
any bullet holes in here?

Not one?
No, nothing.

All right, this guy's got
a fatal disease,

he's got a wife
who's pretending to be a hostage

and a gun full of blanks.
Now, why would she do that?

Best reason I can think
of-- if they got caught...

When we catch them,

and we don't think
she was playing along,

she gets to walk
away scot-free.

Maybe even keep some
of that money.

You see? Let's talk about what
the Bergens have been up to

since they came to town.
Okay.

Okay, they go to a club
to hang out with famous people.

They go shopping
on Rodeo Drive.

Then they come here to dinner
at a five-star restaurant.

It doesn't sound
like a crime spree.

No, it sounds like
a couple on a...

Vacation.
...vacation.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Jim Bergen is dying.

He's got no insurance,
he's got no money.

He takes his wife to L.A. with
a gun loaded full of blanks.

Builds her up
this big nest egg

while they're crossing off items
on this bucket list of theirs.

It's like every place they
rob-- it's just a stop...

A stop on their itinerary.

You reading this?

It is a numbered list.

First, visit Firmament.

Second, go shopping
at John Spitz's.

Eat at Northern Tunnel.
These are all the places

they've been hitting.
Which means, wherever they go next...

We're gonna be
waiting for 'em.

Yeah, that's right, and you know
what's gonna happen after that.

Oh, yeah, I do. We're
gonna seal the deal.

Okay, there are four locations
left on this itinerary.

Bergens have been hitting
the agenda in order,

so we're gonna leave teams
at all four places just in case.

Wes and I are gonna look
for them at at MOArt.

The museum?

If you want the collar,
why are you going

to the last place on the list?

There's a benefit there
later tonight.

Lot of wealthy people,
lot of money floating around.

It's a target-rich environment.

We think the Bergens are going
to break the pattern.

You better hope you're right,
'cause we're going to the pier,

and if they show up there first,
we get the arrest.

Yeah, I guess
we'll know soon enough.

Anybody see anything?

All clear.

Clear here.

You think we made a mistake

by not going to the pier?

As long as we find them
somewhere,

I'm not second-guessing
this call.

Good.

'Cause the guests of
honor just arrived.

All units, we have a visual

on the Bergens. Just walked
in through the front door.

Copy that.

I see 'em.

Coleman, remember,

he's got blanks in that gun.

You can't be positive of that.

Don't come any closer!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Don't shoot!
Don't shoot! Do not fire!

Do not fire!

I've got a bead on him.

Do no fire.
Coleman, don't fire.

Don't do it.

Back off, or I will kill her.

I swear to God, I'll do it!

Hey, Jim, tell you what.

I don't think
you're gonna do that.

Then why don't you step
a little closer,

and we'll see what happens?

Hey, we already know

there's no real bullets
in that gun, Jim.

We know the story, Jim.

We know about your house
and your health insurance.

Your job.

They took that away
from you, right?

Damn right they did!

You're not the kind of man
to kill someone.

Especially not your wife.

I can take him.
Coleman, do not do it.

Look at me. A lot
of bad things

happened to you.

But you did a lot
of bad things, too.

But you don't deserve to die.

And if you do not drop
that weapon,

one of these cops is going
to take that shot.

Now, is that how
you want this to end?

Maria didn't have anything
to do with this.

We know that.

We know that.

So, let's get her
someplace safe, okay?

Get down.

So, how are we holding up,
Mrs. Bergen?

Well, my husband held a
gun to my head tonight,

and now he's going to jail, so
how do you think I'm holding up?

We know it's been rough.

But if you're feeling up for it,

we still have
a few questions for you.

Okay.

You're husband's sick.

But he doesn't have
any insurance,

and now that he's going
to be a guest

in the state of California,

for the foreseeable future,
he's actually gonna be able

to get the treatment
that he needs,

so in a weird way,
this is working out for him.

I don't see it
that way, Detective.

Of course not.

But we're also curious, though.

I mean, the way we figure it,

Jim stole over 30 grand
over the past few days.

We found most of it
stuffed in your travel bag.

If you were being
held hostage,

how'd you end up
with all that money?

Well, uh...

I mean, Jim, he just
must have put it there.

The thing is,

we also found a printout

in your bag from that
travel website you used

as your itinerary.

And all of these...

these handwritten notes
on here

about the places
that you're gonna rob.

We compared those
to the forms

that you filled out
when you got here,

and it's a match.

That's your handwriting.

Maria, you, uh, you want
to talk about that?

Is now when I need
to call a lawyer?

Normally.

Yeah.

But my partner and I realize

your situation
is a unique one.

He's saying that we feel

sorry for you.

Jim's got to go to jail.

There's no way around that.

But...

no one was hurt
on your vacation.

So, we are gonna return
all of the money.

And our official report
will state

that you were held captive
by your husband.

Deal?

You mean you're gonna
let me go home?

If we just arrested her,

we'd be at 400.

We'll get there.

That wasn't performance anxiety,
that was compassion.

You're right.

Pressure's off, though.

We got the record.

Record?

This Legion of Honor
isn't a record,

it's an accomplishment.

And it's one you should
be proud of.

But to hold a record,
you got to be number one,

and there are a lot of records
in this department,

and you happen to be looking
at the guy who has them all.

Now, if you think

this Legion of Honor is tough,

wait till you start to zero in
on the real record.

Good luck

managing this
performance anxiety, boys.

Right.

My balls.
So...

I have no clue.

I'm sorry.

I just had to apologize

for my behavior last night.

It was awkward,
and it was... blah.

It's not me.

I, uh, I-I'm getting back
on the horse here,

and clearly I've got
a long ways to go

when it comes
to talking to women.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, I would start
by not making your ex-wife

the focus of all conversation.

That's a good tip,
that's a good tip.

Yeah.

Can I sit down?

Yeah.

Look, I'm not gonna push this,

but if you gave me
another shot here,

I'm pretty sure I could avoid
ruining it and sabotaging it.

I'm really trying
to stop doing that.

Okay.

Well, I'm already done eating.

But you could join me
in my room for a drink.

As long as you're willing
to give me another shot.

We could do that, too.

Mm-hmm.

Right now?
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, it's my office;
give me one second.

Hey, um,

yeah, I'm tried up.

Can, uh, I talk to you
in the morning?

Okay, fine.

It's a work thing.

You, too.

Night.

Sorry

about that.

Uh, you ready?

Yeah.
Okay.

"You, too."

I didn't mean to eavesdrop on
your conversation, Carine,

but the way you said that,

wasn't like you were talking
to your office.

It was like you were talking
to someone

who just said they love you.

You weren't talking
to your office, were you?

You didn't lose your fiance
when you got the VP title.

Does any of this need
to change anything?

Nobody has know
what we ever do tonight.

I peed a plus
sign this morning.

Oh, that's great.

It's still really early,

but you guys have
all been so sweet,

and we just felt like
we had to tell you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's great,
fantastic news, Dakota.

I mean, Peter, yeah?

It's a good day.

It's a good group;
I mean,

it's a good day for group.

You're very cheerful today, Wes.

Yeah, yeah.

I guess.

Am I?

Why? Is that weird?

I'm in a good mood.

Should I talk about why
I'm in a good mood?

Uh, well,
I don't want to take

anything away from Peter and
Dakota, steal your thunder

or anything like that, but...

a lot of talk

in this group has been
about my ex-wife.

Sort of ad nauseum.

Courtesy of this rascal.

And, uh, I took a big step in,

you know, getting over her
last night.

I met a girl.

And, uh, we had dinner

and we hit it off.

And, uh, she invited me
up to her room.

Okay.

You had sex.

You know, in a sense.

You know,
we didn't actually...

go through the act of love,

because it turns out
she's engaged,

and I didn't know that.

Then she was having doubts
about the engagement,

and I told her, "Hey, you know,
look at my life.

"Go ahead
and set a wedding date

'cause you don't want
to be like..."

But the door was open.

I just didn't go through it.

You understand,
I was ready.

And that makes it
the emotional equivalent

of sex.

No. There's no such thing

as the emotional equivalent
of having some sex.

There's...
Hold on, show of hands.

Does Wes deserve
credit for getting back

on the horse?
You know what, let's just

go back to Dakota and Peter,
and let's talk

about their thing.
No, no, no.

Raise them up.

Raise them up if you feel like
he took a big step last night.

I don't even care anymore.

Really, there's no one?

No one?

Nothing, nobody?

Sorry, but...

sex is sex.
Mm-hmm.

Boom.

I'm the greatest of all time!

Who wants some? Huh?

You want some more?
You want some more?

I'm done.
Anyone else?

I'll do it.

Now, Wes, you do know that
this is a physical challenge.

Actually, it looks more like
a mental challenge.

And I think I can beat you
without even shooting the ball.

You get one shot.

You make it, you win;
you miss it, I win.

Have you been watching?

'Cause I'm on fire.

Yeah, you look decent.

But I think if it came down
to one shot,

do or die with all these guys
watching you...

You're gonna try
to psych me out?

You gonna try
and get in my head?

I think it's firmly established
that that's possible.

Easiest five dollars
I ever made.

Not really the money,
though, is it?

You know, it's that
knowledge that if you miss

this shot,
I'll never let you forget it.

Not gonna happen.

Could make it a little
more interesting.

I mean, we could make it
20 bucks.

Five is fine.

That doesn't sound
very confident.

Does that sound confident
to you, Dee?

Too much pressure.
It's just not confident Travis.

I think it's too
much pressure.

But please, please, go ahead.

You know, we could
make it 50 bucks.

We could make it $100.

All you got to do is put
that big ball

in that tiny hoop
all the way across...

== sync, corrected by elderman ==