American Horror Story (2011–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - The Axeman Cometh - full transcript

When Zoe, Queenie and Nan use a ouija board to find out what happened to Madison, they awaken the spirit of a long-dead serial killer, the Axeman.

Esteemed mortal...

"They have never caught me,

"and they never will.

"They have never seen me,

"for I am invisible,

"even as the ether which
surrounds your earth.

(whistling jaunty tune)

(jazz saxophone plays)

"I am not a human being,

"but a spirit

and fell demon
from hottest Hell."

(whistling continues)

"I am what you Orleanians call

"the Axeman.

"When I see fit,

(typing) "I shall come again

"and claim other victims.

"I alone know who they shall

"I shall leave no clue

"except my bloody axe.

"Undoubtedly, you Orleanians
think of me as

"a most horrible murderer,

which I am."


"But I could be much worse

if I wanted to."

WOMAN (gasps):

"At will,
I could slay thousands

"of your best citizens,

"for I am in close relationship

with the Angel of Death."


"Now, to be exact,

"at 12:15 o'clock
earthly time,

"on next Tuesday night,

"I'm going to pass
over New Orleans.

"In my infinite mercy,

"I am going to make a little
proposition to the people.

"Here it is.

(woman's voice only):
"I am very fond of jazz music,

"and I swear by all the devils
in the nether regions

"that every person
shall be spared

"in whose house a jazz band
is in full swing

at the time
I have just mentioned."

This is an outrage.

This madman
is holding our city hostage

to his twisted whim.

Millie, do you think playing
the Victrola will suffice?

Come Tuesday evening,
a jazz ensemble in New Orleans

will be more precious
than the Hope Diamond.

We can choose jazz songs from
my collection of phonographs.

Why should we do anything
to appease this Axeman?

Because he kills
women with an axe.

Do I have to remind you?
He says, "One thing is certain

"and that is some of those
persons who do not jazz it

on Tuesday night
will get the axe."

His prose could use refinement
but we get the point.

If we don't play jazz
music Tuesday night...

We're inviting an attack-- it
could not be more clear, Sister.

The real question is,
what are we to do?

Ladies, we have been docile
too long.

We are powerful,

even though none of you
have yet to believe it.

Not only are we descendents
of Salem

but we are suffragettes.

We're on the verge of
our greatest victory,

giving us the equal right
to vote.

If we embody our feminine might,

intelligence with grace,

strength with an iron will,

no man can make us cower
in our home.

I'm off in a half hour, Joe.

Can you... walk me home?

You scared of the Axeman?

Everyone is scared.

It's Tuesday night.

He's gonna kill somebody.

Well, he's not gonna lay
a finger on you.

Rumor has it

he's got a thing for jazz,

and you've got, uh,
rhythm in your soul, baby.

(jazz music playing from homes)

(jazz music continues)

(operatic music playing
in distance)

(operatic music continues)

(door hinges creaking)

(music stops)

I gave fair warning, girl.

I made my intentions clear

to the world.

Yes. Just as expected.


You have no one to
blame but yourself.

That reading was for you.

(operatic music resumes)


(grunting, snarling)

(girls shriek, grunting)

(Axeman shouting)

(girls shriek, grunting)

(distant bell tolls)

(bottle clatters)

(click, hinges creaking)

(hinges creaking)

A hundred years ago,

this academy was packed
to capacity. They had bunk beds

and slept eight to a room.

notice anything?

Luke's not here.

His mom keeps slamming
the door on me.

Nan, stay with me.
Look at the pictures.

Our numbers have gone down every
year for a century straight.

Witches are dying.

In Salem, there were
hundreds of us.

Now there's three.
Used to be four, until...

Madison went missing or dead.

And no one in charge
has done shit.

We'll go to Fiona.

Last I checked,
she was setting witches on fire.


Madison wants us to find her,

and we can't afford
to lose a single witch

if we want to survive.

From now on...

we watch each other's backs.

Look, I've been taking care
of myself

for a really long time,
so I'm not sure

I need some white
girl sorority sisters

to cover my ass.

And what is this green shit?

It's not a sorority.

It's a coven.

And this is absinthe,

drink of the divine.

Which we are.

(glass clinks on tabletop)

Where'd you find
the spirit board?

More like it found me.

Do you know
what these things do?

Contact the dead.

You don't know shit.

Spirit boards have

two stages: contact and release.

I saw my grandma use one once.

She thought it was cool,
too, till a bad spirit

came out, burned her house
to the ground and took

half her face off with it.

There's three of us.

You want to find Madison?

Witch up.

So, what do we do?

Ask the questions.

Be polite.


Are we alone?

Did you die here?

Were you murdered?


Who killed you?

"You did."

Madison, is this you?

Who are you?


Wait, stop. Stop, stop!

If survival is
so important to you,

you better find out
who you're talking to.

NURSE (over P.A.):

Paging palliative services,
extension 3609.

Oncology, we're paging
palliative services...

It's all bullshit.

Punch a clock.

Scrimp and save?

And for what?

I'm taking my sick leave
in Vegas.

Time to play.

FIONA: Never had the gift
of mind-reading before.

Is it the medication?

WOMAN: It took her so long
to find the right man.

Lord, please!

Don't let me spoil
my baby's special day.

Just let me walk down
the aisle.

Nothing was ever good enough.

WOMAN 1: And I swear, Heavenly
Father, that very night...

WOMAN 2: I picked him
apart every chance I got.

WOMAN 1: soul is yours to keep.

WOMAN 2: And here he is, week
after week, holding my hand,

cleaning up my vomit.

(soft groan, grunts loudly)


Ms. Goode?

You haven't finished
your treatment yet.

I got to get out of here.

I can't stand it.
It's so noisy.

That'll go away soon.

I put a sedative in your I.V.
to quell your nerves.

But you're doing great,
and you're almost finished.

No, don't patronize me.

I never wanted to be here.

Please take a seat
and finish your treatment?

(monitor beeping rhythmically)


My daughter needs me

as she's never
needed me before.


I'm doing this for her.

Not... for me.

You understand?
If I do everything

you people tell me to...

I'll beat this thing, right?

We've chosen a very aggressive
form of treatment,

and we always hope
for the best.

Yeah. So,

when am I gonna lose my hair?
You may not.

Everyone responds differently
to the medication.



I'm just not...

I'm just not ready
to go quite yet.

I want one more

great love affair in my life.

Now I think what I
really want is just

to belong to somebody.

It's not too late
for that, is it?


My mom met someone on eHarmony,

and they just went
on a cruise to Nova Scotia.


You're gonna make it
to your daughter's wedding,

so you should

go out and buy yourself
a great dress.

Blow the bank on it.

Is there anyone
that doesn't have a fan site?

(character shrieks)
NAN: I don't.

Did you find anything new?

The Axeman killed eight people,

scared the crap out of the
city, never got caught.

Listen to this.
"If women will not dance

"to the sound of my axe,

I shall gladly make them dance
with the other."

Do you know a saxophone
is called an axe?

So he chopped women up

'cause they wouldn't be
his groupies?

Plus men who protected them.

We never got
to ask about Madison.

Good. A spirit'll say anything
to get released.

They mess with you.

Is that why he said
we killed him?


He thinks we're them.

Class of 1919.

The same year the
Axeman disappeared.

"This Jazz Killer

"has killed long enough.

"This city is done trembling.

Tonight it ends."

Witches killed the Axeman.

If there's even a chance

he knows where Madison is,
we got to make contact.

No! No.

No way I'm helping you
release the Axeman.


I'm out.

(scoffs) You left your lives

and came all the way

across the country
just to puss out now?

If this is all the fight
we have left in us

at the end of our race,
witches deserve to die.


Where's Madison?

Tell me and I'll give you
what you want.

I know what you like.

I can give it to you.


Don't you want release?




(hinges creaking)



(hinges creaking)


(coughs, floorboards creaking)

(creaking continues)




(sniffing, door opens)

She made it up the
stairs on her own.

Of course she did.
She's tough.

She's a survivor.

She's right here.

Why are there roses in here?

Why, I thought
you might enjoy them.

They're the very last
of your heirlooms.

Roses pull in love and romance.

That's not what I'm
looking for right now.

I need chrysanthemums.

All kinds of them, for
strength and protection.

Well, doctor said, uh, bed rest

for at least a week, hmm?

(Kaylee moaning)

Who is she?

Who is the redhead?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Enough bullshit!

Anything else you want
to tell me now?

Because I will see it
sooner or later.

I had to go blind to see things
about you I couldn't see before.

A bad cosmic joke.

It's a different

kind of clarity,

an absolute clarity
I've never had.

The images almost vibrate

with light.
FIONA: Thank Christ she's finally

got your number.
She's high as a kite.

You know what they gave her

before we left the hospital?

I'm high all right,

but it's not the drugs,
and rest assured,

you will be accountable

for every single betrayal,
no matter how deep you think

your secrets are buried.

Now get out of here.

(shouting): Get out!

Now, you're my...
you're my heart.

(door bangs open)

I'd get out
while you still can, jug head.

(door slams shut)

I wanted to sever his arms
and throw him out the window.

I had to stop myself.

You've been given the Sight.

It comes in bits and pieces.

It's the greatest gift to have.

And the hardest
one to live with.

Let me help, honey.

(Myrtle screaming)

Oh. Why didn't you tell me?

What? What? What
did you see?

Auntie Myrtle.

(crying softly)

I wanted to tell you, Delia, but
you were in so much pain, and

I didn't want to add to it.

Burned at the stake.

For what she did to you, yes.


That cannot be.

I'm sorry you had to
find out this way.


I think it's best if I...

let you be alone for a while.

I'll ask

Delphine to come
and check on you.

(door squeaks open)

(door shuts)

(vehicle driving away)
Fiona's leaving in a taxi.

All right, you twisted,
tea-serving necrophiliac.

It's time to fess up.

You killed Madison.

What's he thinking?
He's not afraid of children.

QUEENIE (chuckles):

Yeah. We all know exactly
how tough he is.

(gasps, screams)


Here's how this works, asshole.

We ask the questions,

you think the answers,
she reads your mind.

(sucks air through teeth)


(gasping, moaning)


(Queenie chuckles)

Fiona's not here
to help you now, riffraff.

Best be straight.

You killed Madison, didn't you?




I'm a man of uniquely developed

(Queenie and Zoe groan)

Was she your first?

Yes. I had to have her.

Madison Montgomery,

she was so beautiful.

The moment we met, I knew
that only by sliding

myself into her cold, stiff,

unyielding mound

would I ever feel
like a real man again.

His first. Yes.

Ask yourselves,

what will you tough
little witches do now?

Turn me in to the authorities,

the coven, bringing us

all to ruin?

I think you're smarter
than that.

What's he saying?

That we can't do shit.

I can.


(Queenie laughs)
That's enough.


We'll wait till he wakes up
to kill him.

I want him to feel it.

We're not going to kill him.

I'm not sure he
really killed Madison.

He admitted it. I read his mind.

He grew up in a house
full of witches.

And he knows how
to keep secrets.

Bet he's learned a trick or two.

So if he didn't kill her,

who did?

(insects trilling,
frogs croaking)

(Misty humming)

You like my swamp water,
don't you?

Got to have patience.

Won't be long now.


Oh, my Lord. It's you.

What are you doing here?

Where've you been?

You look like you been
rode hard and put up wet.

My daddy used to say that.


You need a bath.

(Stevie Nicks'
"Leather and Lace" playing)

(Kyle moaning)
(water splashing)



You smell like a pack
of polecats.


(moaning, shouts)

Hey. Hey.

Oh, for Christ's sake, Kyle.

It's just me.




Shh, shh, shh.

Come on.

All clean.

Come on.



(screams): No!
Kyle, it's okay.


Hey! You stop that!

Stop that!

You don't want to piss me off!

I could be your only friend!




(wailing incoherently)

Hey, what's wrong with you?

It's okay...

No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no!

No! (music stops)

Why would you do that?

Why... You...


You're just a big ol' monster.

(footsteps approach)

Oh, my God.


Get him out of here.


He broke Stevie.

I'm taking you both out of here.

I need your help.

(Kyle crying)

We have a problem.

(door opens)


It's okay.

It's okay.
You're okay.


He likes you.

You two belong together.

Not likely.

He murdered his mother.

What can you do?


I can help you dig a hole.

She's already rotting.

Plus, she's missing an arm.

I have it.

I can sew it back on her
like I did with Kyle.

Have you seen his scar?

You're not so hot with a needle
and thread. Come on.

We'll find a soft spot
in the yard.

No. You have the
power of resurgence.

You have to bring her back.

Give me some of that mud.



(blowing softly)

I need your help.

Too much death inside
her. Put your hands

on her stomach and push.



Keep pushing!



(gasping, gagging)

(panting softly)




I need a cigarette.

You risk an awful lot coming here,
you know that.

You didn't give me much of a choice.
An acid attack?

Was that supposed to
speed things along?

You just made my job
more complicated.

You think I did that?

I look like the Taliban to you?

If I wanted to blind
your little wifey,

I wouldn't have
to leave my room.

Well, something's happened.

She's acquired some kind
of second sight.

She's starting to see things.

We have to do something.

"We," mon cher?

I believe I already did.

I thought I'd hired me
a professional witch hunter.

Coming here in the light of day.

"We got a problem."

I got a problem. You.

Six years in that house
and for what?

Access. You know that.
You said you wanted more

than just the witches
at the academy.

You said you wanted all
the Salem descendants.

That's what
I've been giving you.

I'm really glad you decided
to come and see us, Kaylee.

Well, to be honest, I mostly
wanted to see Bourbon Street

and eat at Emeril's restaurant.

This other stuff?

I don't know.

Th-This place?
I'm not really sure it's for me.

This isn't a nunnery.

It's not a jail.

It's a haven

where you can learn
about who and what you are.

What do you think I am?

I don't think
you're an arsonist.

Which is what
you've been charged with.


But not convicted.

Not yet.

Why don't you tell me
about the last fire?

You said that you loved me.

I changed my mind.

I can't marry you. I'm sorry.

But why?

Will you just give me
one goddamn reason?

There's something

not right about you, okay?

You make my friends squirm.

My mother says if I married you
I would regret it as long

as I live, okay?

And I think she's right.

I'm sorry, Kaylee.


I don't really like
to talk about this.

You have genuine power.

Nothing to be ashamed of,
but it is something

you need to learn
how to control.

Wouldn't you like
to be surrounded by people

with similar gifts?

Truth be told, Mrs. Foxx, I...

I really don't want
to be powerful.

I just want to
find a good husband

and have three kids.

I think I have a
really good shot.

I work out, and I play
Fantasy Football.

Nine Salem descendants
in just three years.

Five of them I never would have
found without Delia's research.

Maybe we should take you off
the payroll and put her on it.

Sounds like she doing
all the work.

This is what we agreed to!

What we agreed to is
that you would clean house,

not play house.

What's that supposed to mean?
What you think it means?

She made you hard.

You went soft!

You're in love
with that sorry witch.

Bullshit is right.

You're supposed to be ridding me
of my enemies. Instead,

they're mouthier than ever!

Showing up on my doorstep,
disrespecting me,

digging up my enemies.

When I plant

a fat-assed cracker bitch,

I expect her to stay planted,

not come back up
like goddamned ragweed!

And that Fiona--
doing my Bastien like that.


My poor Bastien.

They desecrated you.

And I brought you back life,

and she took it away again?!

Well, now we take hers and all.

No more nonsense.

You go back there,
and you bring me their heads.

All of them.



her daughter and every
witch bitch in that house.

You bring me their heads,
all of them.

Then you burn that place
to the ground.

Uh, Marie...

You do it, and you do it quick.

And I let you live.

QUEENIE: I know you went all Malcolm
X and shit, but this house is

now a carnival of crazy.

How are you gonna
explain this to Fiona?

I'm not.

No one says a word to Fiona.

We have to keep Madison under
the radar until she's better.

And I'll... I'll figure
out what to do with Kyle.

I'm not taking him.

He's a walking tornado.

You made him.

He's your problem now.

Okay. Who's taking me home?

ZOE: It's late.
Why don't you

stay the night, sleep
in a real bed for a change?

No, thanks.

I need to be alone.

I thought you were looking
for your tribe.

I was... and I am.

This ain't it.

I got bad vibes.

Real bad.

There's something foul
in this house.

(lock clicks)

(pills clinking on floor)

(loud gulping)

I always hated this room.

Was I in a car crash?

Drink this.

Ginger'll help your stomach.





Do you know who you are?

I'm-I'm Madison Montgomery.

I... I make $7 million
a picture.

I have two Teen Choice Awards.

You died.

We brought you back.

What's the last
thing you remember?


A-After that, it's all... dark.

Did you see a bright light?


There's nothing
on the other side.

It's just black...


Who are you?

What do you want?


I can't do that.


Don't think so,
dirty pussy cat?


Goddamn witches.

They ended me once

right here in this very room.

And for years after,

the parties and the music

and the dancing raged
wild outside

while I sat trapped

inside these four ugly walls.

Now, last night,

this sweet young witch
comes along

and offers me my release,

and I said,

"Oh, yes, ma'am, yes, please.

What do you need?"

She asks her favor,

and I provide.

The thing is,

when the time comes
for her to ante up,

bitch lies, leaving me betwixt,

between and ready to pop.


You died.

And now you're trapped.

Right here with you.

The only way I can help you

is if you let me out of here.

No. Nobody leaves this room.

You see, I had
a... a contract.

Promises were made,

and all you've got to
do is sing and dance...

...and call the witches
who owe me my freedom.

And I'll provide the music.

(Cordelia screaming)

(screaming continues)

(wooden thudding)
NAN: Cordelia?!

It's locked.

(Duke Ellington's
"New Orleans Low Down" plays)

It's the Axeman.
You released him?!?

I told him I
would. I lied!

This don't end till I get out.



Get those witches in here
and release me now!

Go to Hell!
Ladies first.

(Cordelia screaming)

(Cordelia panting)


Now dance.


We need a spell

to make him move on.

I told you not to mess
with that spirit board.

(screaming continues)

QUEENIE: Yeah, there's a
shit ton of books in there,

and not one of them
is written in English.

(screaming continues)

This one's it.

(thudding, screaming)

Give me your hands.

Solvo Liberatum Spirito Malus

Nequam Pessimus Peior...

(music stops, flame whooshes)



(gate squeaking)

♪ Get rich or die trying,
like 50 Cent ♪

♪ I'm just a young gunner
tryna get that 50 bread... ♪

(whistling jaunty tune)

(whistling continues)

(jazz music playing,
crowd chatter)

Well, hello, pretty lady.

What you drinking?