iZombie (2015–…): Season 4, Episode 4 - Brainless in Seattle, Part 2 - full transcript

Previously on iZombie...

One day, they decided
to wall off the city

and 72 hours later
we're living in Baghdad.

Most of you were thrown out of
your homes for being zombies.

The key to our survival is integration.

She scratched me.

Look at what that bitch did.

Hey, stop that.

Liv, I know you're
a bloody romantic brain

but I need you to focus.

This is Tim, the love of my life.



I saw Bozzio last night
at the Scratching Post.

She was cheating on Clive.

Renegade's operation
turns more humans into zombies

than all other carrier that's combined.

You bring me Renegade,

you go back to running
your establishments in peace.

Bruce.

They were desperate people
over the wall to kill them.

I've done this a million times.

Our coyote brooms is en garde.

We're dealing with a serial killer.

_

I guess late at night is when
the cockroaches come out.

So sorry. Was this yours?



I didn't know you was here, sir.

I thought these were just garbage.

You think I eat garbage?

Like some kind of a trash compactor?

Like a bum? Like you?

No, no, I...

Relax, man, I'm just having fun.

- I'm Russ.
- Yeah.

Oh, god.

You broke my damn arm.

I'm from Fillmore-Graves,
and we don't play.

_

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Look, Clive.

My dinner has a hat on it.

See, these brain rations aren't so bad.

Nothing taste as good as skinny...

Feels?

The incinerator is the only place

we know Bruce has been.

Keep your eye on that door.

Dear Diary. Some mid-year resolutions.

Learn to love dieting.

Stop flirting with the mailman.

And catch Bruce Holtz,

the serial-killing, human smuggler

that Clive and I have been
staking out all week.

Poor Clive keeps sifting
through the evidence,

hoping to find something
more than my vision

that can connect Bruce to the victims.

But those odds seem bleaker

than finding a pair
of size eight Manolo Blahniks

at a Barney's Warehouse sale.

And so, I couldn't help but wonder,

had this hopeless romantic brain

just left me hopeless?

Being hot-boxed by Carne
Asada here isn't helping.

But Bruce isn't the only mystery man

that keeping me up at night.

Tim. My Lobster.

My Dawson.

My soulmate.

That dreamy smile.

- Liv?
- Those sexy, piercing eyes...

Not this again.

Lips so perfect, I keep asking myself...

- Is that Colin Firth?
- Where?

You're a secret mean girl.

You don't even know his last name. Look.

You wrote, "Mrs. Tim's wife."

Clive, what's even in a last name?

- Accountability.
- Overrated.

All I need, is for Tim to come back

to Human-Zombie night
so we can rekindle our flame.

Here, Seattle.

It's too easy.

I'm glad something is.

Since it's been three days,
and no one can find

the camera phone video of Tucker Fritz

getting called up to Team Z
by our very own cadet.

What's the plan to correct
this situation, Lillywhite?

We're gonna start hitting places

where zombies aren't exactly welcome.

- Dead End territory.
- Good.

Get it done before this
video bites us in the ass.

We got it, bro.

Do you, Gladwell?

Then you also must get
that the only reason

you're not a Popsicle already

is because those breeders
don't know what they have.

They have a video of me
scratching a douchebag.

They have a video
of Fillmore-Graves soldier

scratching an unarmed human civilian.

That's America's worst nightmare.

Find the video.

Before Tucker and his
friends figure that out.

Tucker.

You can't be here anymore.

- Yeah, but...
- Pop, easy does it.

You can make an exception,
can't you? Just this once?

One beer.

For old time's sake.

Rosie just walked out on me.

Wasn't even a discussion.
Just, "Sayonara, dickweed."

Sack Man, where're you going?

I think he's giving Rosie a call.

Hell yeah. I think he's heading
straight to her place.

Thanks.

You're not gonna put
hot sauce in it, are you?

Because I think I'd puke.

Let's get a refill.

So how's zombie life?

It sucks.

I'm kind of a mess, actually.

You remember the first time
we got hammered?

Yes. Yeah.

With those girls in the 10th grade?

- Josie and...
- Mary Ann.

Oh, I love me some Mary Ann.

So much, that when she took that cheap
ass tequila out of her backpack

I tried to down the whole
thing in one rip...

And then you chucked it right back up,

all over that lacy-ass shirt
that she made you dry clean.

That night, when I was a mess,
you made sure I got home safe.

Took care of me.

You've always done
the right thing, Tucker.

Now shouldn't be any different.

Talk to me all right...
You'll be all right.

I'm not gonna be a zombie.
We made a pact. So do it!

Hey, no. Don't do that.
He doesn't mean it.

Do it!

Come on.

Tanner, Tanner, Tanner.

When are you gonna get it
through your thick skull

to lock the back door?

It's these back to back night shifts.

I get all scatterbrained.

Yeah, I'm gonna scatter
your brains across the wall

if I hear anymore bitching.

I know plenty of zombies
that would kill for your gig.

I dunno, Blaine. Maybe we
should give one of them a call.

Maybe.

But then, of course,
we have to trick them

into working full-time without benefits.

And we, never pay overtime,
which even I feel bad about.

So how about we just take
the path of least resistance,

and, Tanner, you learn
how to lock the door.

So I'm...

underpaid?

- Tremendously.
- No.

Tan-man, why don't you go
fix yourself a club soda?

Have you lost your damn mind?

I'm sorry, I'm on this loose-lip brains,

hence, the loose-lip.

Do you know I sleep completely naked?

- I'm not surprised.
- Yeah.

Well, Chase Graves wants me
to track down this old lady

who runs a coyote organization,
code name "Renegade,"

so I took one of my 16 zombie cures,

turn one of her old
customers back into a human

so I can eat his brains,
so I could get his visions,

so I could find this "Renegade."

- You have the zombie cures?
- Uh-huh.

Oh, my God!

We're gonna be billionaires!

No, no. I am a potential billionaire.

You are a man who's desperate
to prove his loyalty to me,

so you can reap the
benefits of my success.

That's fair.

So here's your chance.

I need all eyes on deck
for these Renegade visions.

You have nothing to fear

but perhaps spilling your
deepest and darkest secrets.

Why not? I am a team player.

After all, there is no "I"
in billionaire.

- There's two.
- There's three.

The third is silent.

To life,

liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

You know, I've never been happy.

Not even as a child.

Oh, this is about to get real.

_

So, I swear, I'm not making this up.

Larry, Moe and Hurley.

The names are Larry Nunn,

Moreece Dubois and Doug Hurley.

Larry, Moe and Hurley. That's insane.

It'd be insane if the
last one was Curley.

Like the Stooges.

So I cross-referenced these victims

with their missing person reports

and all of them were...

All of them were from
outside of Seattle,

all of them from wealthy families

and all contacted one Bruce Holtz

through the same message board.

So let me show you.

Ooh.

"Liv from the Scratching Post."

"Tim, my bleu crew twinsie."

- "You stole a kiss..."
- " then stole my heart."

Liv, you didn't.

You did not post a Missed Connection...

"I believe in feta?"

Fate!

I was very hungry.

"And I know you felt our soulmate bond."

"I'll be at Human-Zombie
night again this Tuesday."

"Meet me there."

"I wanna spend the rest of my
life decomposing with you."

What? What?

It's zombie romance.

- No.
- No, no, no, no.

It's desperate.

It's what someone would point to

if you decapitated a stranger
at the back of a bus

and they were looking for warning signs.

Speaking of,

if Bruce found all of his victims

on this message board,

we should try to contact
him the same way.

Way ahead of you.

We should make our
potential mark sound rich.

Still way ahead of you.

Dr. Alistair Manningham-Chabra.

I rowed at Eton,

bowled for the Cambridge cricket team.

I currently reside at a 1200
acre estate in Bas Bgstoke,

though, for my sins, I find myself here

on what I presumed would
be a brief business trip.

Please, you must help me
return to England,

to my beloved wife,
now pregnant with child,

no matter what cost.

I love the new accent.

Very Mark Darcy.

- That was a new accent?
- Hi.

Hi.

You texted me.

Said you grabbed my
coffee mug by mistake?

No, I...

Thought it was mine.

I'm sorry about that.

Okay.

Was that your attempt
at orchestrating a meet cute?

It was more of a mug cute.

Or a meet cup.

Do not pile onto this parent trap.

You're really putting
the no in Babineaux!

Excuse me.
Is the art teacher brain local?

Yes, she died right here
in Rainier Valley.

Screaming like a banshee.

You don't wanna know. House fire.

And this brain, the Organic Chemist?

Oh, no, glorified intern.

Don't waste your money.

Is that the guy in-charge
of Fillmore Graves?

Fillmore Graves. Shh.

Hello, officers.

How are you?

- It is.
- Is he a friend of yours?

No, no, no. He blackmails me.

That fell on the floor.

Enjoy.

If my sister was as hot as
yours, I'd be proud of it.

I just had a vision while talking
to a couple I can barely stomach.

Renegade's operating
out of a laundromat.

Nice. Which one?

There's more than one?

I don't know anything
about laundromats, I'm rich.

My mom still does my laundry.

Just one less thing for me
to have to worry about.

And she really enjoys it.

Hey, I forgot to tell you about
the other night at the Post.

One of those Fillmore
Graves guys came in

beat the hell out of some poor kid.

I've got no problem with that.

Yeah, those big-spending horny soldiers,

they can do whatever they want.

Fillmore Graves loves humans
more than they love you.

They want you to look like humans.

They don't want you eating humans.

And look what they do to zombies.

- They hate their own kind.
- Right you are, my child.

Because they do not live by
the Good Word of Brother Love.

- Amen.
- Amen.

Amen.

_

Their God goes by other names, Greed.

- Power.
- Hell, no.

Filthy, Lucre.

No. Make them pay.

Fillmore Graves doesn't care about you.

They left you to starve in the streets

while they stay fat
in their ivory towers.

We know they do,
and you all suffer for it.

And every Devil falls from grace.

The time has come for Fillmore
Graves to pay for their sins.

And they will pay for them in blood.

- Amen.
- Amen.

- I said, "Amen."
- Amen.

- So God can hear you.
- Amen!

- So I can hear you.
- Amen!

_

One cup sugar, two eggs,

two teaspoons of vanilla extract.

If only the recipe for love

was as simple as a butter cream cake.

Whoa.

I remember this episode
of Grey's Anatomy.

I can't find Tim or the vanilla extract.

What if he doesn't come to The
Scratching Post tomorrow night?

And why did I make
all this food I can't eat.

Oh, god. Oh...

Remember what we talked about?

Using police resources to find Tim

is an abuse of power?

Yes. But also, fate, Liv.

If Tim's a no show,
it's not meant to be,

you're meant to party
with your awesome friends.

Like me and Ravi.

I knew it. You two are
getting back toge...

Not even a little bit.

Oh, please.

I could cut the sexual tension
between you and Ravi

with my artisanal cherry
wood tomato knife.

I know Nancy Meyers
is holding your brain hostage,

so I'm gonna let that slide.

Oh, speaking of triangles,

how did Clive react to his
lady cheating on him?

You got to tell him, Liv.

You try telling Clive
that his forever person

is looser than a bucket
of fishing worms.

I found it.

Oh, brother.

We're losing momentum on this.
I can feel it.

I was hoping Ravi
would have heard something

from our killer coyote by now.

Me, too.

Bruce must get dozens of emails a day

from people wanting to get
into and out of Seattle.

Unfortunately, Ravi's
email got just as much love

as my missed connection.

None. Nada. Ixnay.

What we needed was expert advice.

What those people are looking for

is different than what I'm looking for.

I'm trying to find people
with real need.

Those criminal coyotes
that you're talking about?

They're looking for wealth, desperation,

people easy to manipulate.

Can you write that letter?

Can I write a desperate letter,
begging a man to notice me?

- Shouldn't be a problem.
- Good.

I'm glad to see you haven't given up.

It's not your style.

How do you know so much about me?

I have been watching you for years.

Almost as long as I've been undead.

You weren't turned by Fillmore Graves?

You know, I'm not really
sure how it happened.

I just know I woke up one
day with the hunger.

I got a call from a guy

who said he could keep
me fed for a price.

And then I had a vision.

I was looking in a mirror,

and I was this homeless kid

that I used to see around the pier,

no more than 16.

And that's when I realized that this man

that was "keeping me fed"

was murdering people.

Murdering kids.

So I tried to stop it.

I told the police everything.

Zombies, brains, dead kids,

but they laughed me out of their office.

Three days later, my
husband Max was murdered.

Somehow, they knew what I had done.

That was the first time, I saw you.

At the morgue.

When they killed Max, I just...

shut down.

Just like they wanted.

And later, 10,000 people
were turned into zombies.

And I didn't do anything
else to stop it.

Is that why you started doing this?

I started this for the same reason

you started eating
murdered people's brains.

To feel needed.

To feel "of use."

Friendly bunch, aren't they?

Major.

Isn't that our guy?

Yeah, stay cool.

Hey, fellas.

Where's the video?

And don't pretend like you don't
know what I'm talking about.

- You want that video, huh?
- We do.

So killing my best friend wasn't enough?

You wanna cherish the memory?

You, it was your phone.

I'm prepared to give you $1,000 for it.

It's your unlucky day, I guess.

My phone was recently stolen.

Stolen, huh?

By a shiftless zombie, of course.

You know this zombie's name?

Tucker.

Probably didn't want the
world to see him get

his ass kicked by a little zombie bitch.

I wonder how tough you'd
be without that gun.

Back off.

Be cool.

Listen to your girlfriend, man. Be cool.

I'm gonna need your number
so I can track the phone down.

I'll give you $500 for it.

Yeah, but I know you got
a thousand bucks on you.

If you were gonna turn me into a zombie,

I'd want you to do it the fun way.

You know what I'm saying?

Way to go, pal.

You just lost your friend $500.

Give me the number or
you'll spend the next week

in a Fillmore Graves re-education camp.

Or, for your dumb ass,
an education camp.

_

I can't believe he responded.

- We're doing this.
- Well, it's almost time.

You know what you've got to do.

Yeah, we've been through this.

I... just need to get into character.

The rain in Spain
stays mainly on the plain.

The rain in Spain...

Hello, Ravi. I'm a good girl, I am.

Liv, I'm trying to
channel Prince William

and you sound like a garbage
disposal with vocal fry.

I thought you were doing My Fair Lady,

oh gee makeover movie.

- Show time.
- Break a leg.

Hello.

Dr. Manningham-Chabra,
thank you for contacting me.

I'm so sorry you've been
separated from your loved ones.

Oh, I can't tell you
what a relief it was

to hear back from you.

That sculpture, it's wonderful.

Is that a Malayan or Siberian?

It's Malayan, of course!

You've got a good eye, sir.

That piece is called "La Tigre d' Oro"

and is a solid gold relic
from the Cinque Terre villages

gifted to me from Prince
Albert Duke of Kent.

Between us, he lost a bet.

And that's why I never drink
Glenmorangie at the Grand Prix.

All right, then. Let's do this.

I'll give you a time
and a place to meet,

you make sure you bring the cash.

In 72 hours, you'll be back
in Merry Olde England.

Superb.

Ravi is a good liar.

Like Sandra Bullock in
While You Were Sleeping good.

You think so?

I thought he was chewing
too much scenery.

You know, I'm so glad
that my soulmate is a zombie.

Trying to date another human
would be a disaster.

It was with Major.

I'm gonna connect with SWAT. I'll...

I think that you should
break up with Bozzio.

Where the hell is this coming from?

It's just... it's never gonna work.

I know you're pretty used to saying
whatever you want without consequence,

so let me draw a very clear
boundary for you right now.

My relationship with Dale
is none of your business.

And there's not a brain in the world you
could be on that would change that.

Not that it matters, because I
suspect this is coming from you.

So stop.

The phone is in there?

According to this phone tracker app.

What is this place?

- A church for zombies?
- That's what it looks like.

Beats a church for humans.

Let's check it out.

Whoa.

Is that the guy you scratched?

Once a zealot.

Hey, Tucker.

Can we have a word?

Hey, Tucker.

We need the phone.

The one you took.

Don't tell me you don't have it.

Okay.

But it's not gonna do you much good.

Brother Love says that the age
of Fillmore Graves greed

is at an end.

- That's right.
- True.

Let's go.

God is a vengeful God.

Just keep walking.

Every devil falls from grace.

If you shoot, they'll tear us apart.

I think they're planning
on tearing us apart regardless.

Watch yourself while you starve.

Fillmore Graves steals our brains.

- Major.
- Hold tight.

We're good.

Don't think you know
what the word "good" means.

Behold.

What devil is this in our midst
disturbing the house of God.

Angus?

And lo...

my eyes have been deceived

for now we are witness
to a miracle, my children.

Standing before us
is the Angel of Chaos.

Celebrate our guest

for he stormed the gates of hell,

liberating tortured zombies
from their prisons.

A reminder.

That even the best of us
can lose his way...

So we will pray for you, Brother Major.

That you find your way
back to your people.

The chosen people.

But if I ever see you here again

wearing that Devil's cloth...

I'll knock your skull
clean off your body.

_

You still mad?

Yes.

How about now?

Can we focus on me, please?

Whatever you little thing is,
cannot possibly compare

to my having to face a serial killer.

I told you, you're gonna be fine.

I'll be right there with
a full swat team, out of sight.

Yes?

But what if things go wildly wrong?

Shouldn't I have, like, a code word
or something to indicated distress?

- Fine. What kind of code word?
- Pickles.

It's the first thing that came to mind.

Probably because I just saw that
guy walk by eating a pickle.

Sure. Pickles.

But relax.

We'll take him down the second
he shows up. I promise.

So, um, this
place he wants me to meet him,

what's it like?

You remember that adorable
French chocolate store

- from Chocolat?
- Yeah.

It's not like that.

Testing. Testing.

He's still not here

and this place makes
Freddy Krueger's basement

look like the Wonka factory.

- Stop talking to yourself.
- I'm talking to you.

Which is exactly what it looks
like you're doing.

Relax. He'll be here.

Isn't this romantic?

- I'm sorry. It's what?
- Romantic.

Just look at Ravi.

He's like Rick in Casablanca,

putting his neck on the
line to save others.

I could just die.

I could just die...

Hello, doctor.

Oh, from excitement waiting for you.

And here you are.

- Here I am.
- Get ready.

So you probably want your money.

- There's no rush.
- Oh, pickle.

- I'll get it off your corpse.
- I'm in quite a pickle.

It's a G17.

Use it for work.

I'm a security guard.

G17 is a weapon match for the gun

- that killed Annie Wallace.
- Let's go.

So? That ain't enough to hold me.

How about this?

Is this enough?

A direct connection between
you and the incinerator

where you burned your victims?

Nice work, Pickles.

Let's agree that calling me that

isn't going to become a thing, okay?

- And thank you.
- See you later.

Ravi. Do you have the keys to the van?

You had them.

I thought I gave them back to you.

I don't have them.

Could they have fallen out
of your pocket?

Maybe?

We gotta go look for these
so we'll get the next one.

Elevator's stuck.

I'm not getting any service down here.

You?

Liv...

A soulmate is forever

and forever is a long time,

especially when you're undead.

And so I couldn't help but wonder...

is all of New Seattle settling?

Or just Clive?

Liv?

Clive.

I have something to confess.

Good. Because that "elevator
meet cute" was too much.

What elevator meet cute?

What? I'm serious.

You didn't stop the elevator
for me and Michelle

- right after you got off?
- No.

But that means fate willed you
to have an actual meet cute

which is actually adorable.

Then what do you have to confess?

All the weird Bozzio stuff...

The reason I said what I did...

I saw Bozzio kissing another guy

at The Scratching Post.

I'm so sorry, Clive, for everything.

I just thought you would want to know.

We're in an open relationship.

Oh.

Yeah.

You don't seem... like
the open relationship type.

I'm not.

But I'm in love and I'm willing
to try anything to make it work.

Hearing about the other guys though...

Man.

Maybe Michelle can help
you work through it?

- Too soon.
- Okay.

Can't believe you guys talked me

into bringing you here.

Oh, here's the rules, two drink maximum.

No hookers.

- Oh.
- But I want a hooker.

Definitely no blue brains.

And most definitely, an
order of nachos for Major.

I'm hitting the head.

Is that where they keep the hookers?

Talk to me about blue brains.

- What's good?
- They're all good.

Do we not check IDs anymore?

Let's see. We've got
a Jewish American Princess.

A drag racer. A drag queen.
A pro wrestler.

Sir?

- Hi.
- Hi.

This is my first time here.
I'm not sure how it works...

Well, might I suggest
a "Brain of the Night?"

We still have a few more slices
of Architect brain available.

And our Young Love
brain is very popular.

"This mid-western belle
with a heart of gold

will transport you
to a more innocent time."

That sounds perfect
after the week I've had.

Thank you.

There. Now say goodbye to Parkinson's.

Detergent Care Laundry.

- Excuse me?
- I've had a... I'm sorry.

I just had vision of a laundromat.

And I think my life is about
to change for the better.

Oh, good for you.

The... Tell me, where do you
get all these brains?

Well, I'm the head of a
huge criminal enterprise.

Now, I have to go do a terrible
thing to a nice old lady.

Enjoy your meal.

That's great.

Greg.

Boy, you keep eating like
that, it's gonna kill you.

I've got a good metabolism.

Hide, Mama.

Renegade, I presume.

Ho-ho-ho!

Merry Christmas!

Wants to show this youngster

what he gets for being
so good this year.

Renegade, Meet Chase Graves.

He's been looking for you.

Good work.

Great work.

We'll always have Paris.

_

Sweater Ravi versus Make-over Ravi.

Who will win? Who will lose?

Or are we living in a
computer simulation?

Oh, I forgot that Sweater Ravi
came with Simulation theory.

Where's Tim?

You gave me wrestler brain!

Well that makes me so angry?

Oh.

Um...

I got dose of a wrestler brain!

We heard you.

All of New Seattle heard you.

Hey, Liv.

How is it going with your new boyfriend?

I'm sorry, Major.

But it's only right
that you should know...

I have a new-new boyfriend.

And if there's such a thing
as love, he's in there.

And I must go to him.

That's cool.

You sound like a maniac.

Here it is, the moment of truth.

- Oh.
- Hell, not again.

That is not an easy thing to see!

But I am glad she's happy!

It makes me happy!

That's very mature.

Thanks.

Liv, I know this is a weird thing

to scream in your face,

but I hated the way

how we left things after our fight.

And I want you to know
that no matter our politics,

I care about you.

And want us always to be friends.

Thank you, Major.

You're the best.

So tell me about this new-new guy, huh?

What's he like?

He's name is Tim.

And he likes The Scratching Post.

He's tall, uh... Tall-ish.

Or maybe he's more medium height?

I actually don't know
that much about him.

I should probably fix that.

You do you, girl!

Sorry. Sorry.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Thank you.

Why don't we just chat a little first.

- Okay.
- How was your weekend?

Life changing. Mind blowing.

Oh, do tell.

Sunday, my friend took me
to this cool new church.

The preacher, he's so intense
but brilliant.

He really understands the role
that humans should play

- in the new world order.
- Which is what?

Food. Humans are our
evolutionary inferiors.

And just like that.

My prince charming
turned into a horrible,

wart-covered, zombie supremacist frog.

- Where are you going?
- To be with my friends.

My human friends who are more
evolved than you'll ever be.

Goodbye, Tim.

I guess I didn't need to know
your last name after all.

- It's Timmerson.
- Tim Timmerson?

No, thank you.

Did you find out what he's like?

Yeah. He was a creep.

It's time for the
human-zombie dance off!!

Zombies, you get the side
closest to the exit.

Humans to the side closest
to the kitchen.

It's go time!

Maybe looking
for soulmates is overrated.

Or maybe, we're looking
in the wrong places.

Sweater Ravi!

I heard about your adventure
with the Dutch Oven Killer.

Very brave.

Maybe our soulmates are the people

who are already there,

standing by our sides while
romances come and go.

And if these are my soulmates,

I just might be the
luckiest girl in the world.