iZombie (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 7 - Abra Cadaver - full transcript

LIV: Previously on iZombie.

DEVORE: This is FBI agent
Dale Bozzio.

She'll be looking into a string
of missing person cases.

LIV: Seems someone is targeting
rich guys in Seattle.

Suzuki's widow
gave you a brain?

I can't ask our lab to test it
without saying where it's from.

I can send it into
the FBI lab.

It says here you were slinging
for Stacey Boss.

PEYTON: I need everything you can tell
me about Mr. Boss' crime organization.

STACEY: This wall thing?
It is a little out of date.

So maybe you only
have one source?



And I wonder what happens
to your case

if he goes away?

- Are you threatening me?
-(DOOR CLOSING)

Morning, everyone.

Is this happening?

It's happening-

If you have sex,
Major will become a zombie.

That's a certainty.

- This isn't it for us.
- It's not.

(LIV AND MAJOR GIGGLING)

(LIV EXHALES)

LIV: Phew!

LIV: That was pretty good.

Yeah.



It was almost as good as sex.

Like the difference between

a turkey burger
and a hamburger.

When I was 14, I would've
killed to do what we just did.

You and I
are going to be fine.

So you're okay with it?

Because if we're
gonna do this,

we have to be totally honest with
each other this time around.

Of course I want
to sex you up, girl.

You're very attractive,
and I very much have a penis.

But just being with you
is enough.

Honest.

But being with zombie me

is different than being
with old me.

It's not just no sex.

When I eat someone's brain,
it sets up camp in me.

It's like, I'm always Britney,

but sometimes I'm Hit Me
Baby One More Time Britney,

and sometimes I'm...

Shaved head, smashing
car windows Britney.

Real talk?

I thought both of
those Britneys were hot.

-(SMACKS LIPS)
-l'm kidding,

I know this is serious.

I just want you to know that

I can hang with
whatever you throw at me.

(BLUES MUSIC PLAYING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(KEYS JANGLING)

(DOOR UNLOCKING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

Ugh! What is that horrible,
horrible smell?

I'm guessing
it's the dead body.

Victim's name is Syd Wicked.

Died between 12:30 and 1:00
p.m., when the body was found.

Throat slit.

Looks to have been done
with a playing card.

LIV: Queen of diamonds.

Had a special metal edge,
razor sharp.

Any signs of a struggle?

Nope. No signs of forced entry
into the room, either.

No adjoining door
to another room.

No unlocked windows.

So whoever did this must have
been let in through that door.

Let me guess,
the security cameras were out?

Nope. Fully operational.

Should be waiting
for us at the precinct.

What kind of name
is Syd Wicked?

Stage name.
He's a magician.

You don't dress like that
unless you do magic

or you hate your parents.

Apparently there's
some big magician convention

happening at this hotel
all week.

Of course. PrestoFest.

How did I miss that?
I'm on the mailing list!

This was in his bag.

Death.

Most of us live in constant
fear that at any moment,

death will wrench us
into an eternal darkness.

But I have stared
Death right in his face

and he blinked first.

Mark that. I'll use that
for the intro for my closer.

What showmanship.

The world has lost
a storyteller.

So, who found the body?

(SOBBING)

So, the door
wasn't tampered with?

(SNIFFLES) No.

And had you seen
anyone else come in

or out of the room
other than Mr. Wicked?

Uh, this morning
I came back for cleaning.

There is do-not-disturb sign
on door,

but yelling inside.

Can you describe the voices
on the other side of the door?

I just hear him yell
at the angels.

The angels?

Chakrabarti needs
you two upstairs.

I have located the source
of that awful smell,

and it is not
Clive's new cologne.

You can do better than that.

It played very well
in my head.

I knew that smell wasn't
coming from Syd's corpse.

Too fresh, obviously.

So, I took a gander
around the room,

and found this
in the wastebasket,

with this lovely note
attached.

“Welcome to PrestoFest.

"Here's a gift from
your fellow magicians.“

So I thinks to myself,

“Hmm. Okay.
Kind of boilerplate stuff.“

Maybe they thought the summer sausage
would make up for the stock sentiments.

But wait, there's more.

We're all hoping.

-(GROANS)
-Ugh!

(RAVI READING)

Seems like whoever wrote that
note is a good first suspect.

So how many magicians
come to this

PrestoFest every year?

Oh, upwards of 200.

Then you have your semi-professionals,
your weekend wizards,

and the occasional hypnotist.

"PrestoFest, come for the illusions
and stay for the sleight of ha..."

Looks like we're going
to be interviewing

a whole lot of magicians.

Sometimes I really hate
this job.

RAVI: Syd Wicked.

I want to change my name
to something cool like that.

What do you think
of Rick Bang?

I think Rick Bang lives
in a one-bedroom apartment

in the San Fernando Valley

and gets paid
to do it on camera.

Ow. Well, Steph told me how
to figure out my porn name.

Sadly, it's Polly Cripplegate.

Things good
with you and Steph?

Yeah, they're fine, I guess.

Can you have sex
without worrying

you'll turn her into a member
of the undead?

- Yeah.
- Then no bitching.

Well, I didn't think I was.

It might be time
for someone to eat.

-(WEIGHING MACHINE DINGS)
-(SIZZLING)

Okay, have you thought
of a card?

Do you see it?

(GASPS)
The 10 of clubs is missing.

Where did it go, you witch?

Ah! The 10 of clovers.

A clover needs
a dark space to take root.

A place as dark

as a closed casket
buried six feet under.

That's dark.

Or, a man's back pocket.

(RAVI GASPING)

This is the best brain ever.

I almost want to start killing
magicians so it never ends.

Got something
to show you, Liv.

- Pick a card.
- No.

(EXHALING DEEPLY)

No one goes
into the room until...

...the maid finds Syd's body.

Wait, right there.

Three security guards
come into the room.

How many come back out?

- Maybe the killer was disguised as...
- Already checked it.

Three guards enter,
three guards exit.

And the room had been empty
for a couple of days.

So, Syd went
into his room alive,

no one else
came in or out of it,

and yet, he was murdered?

RAVI: You know
what this means, right?

The murder is a magic trick.

Sometimes I really love
this job.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

- Hey.
-(GASPS)

(CLEARS THROAT)
Sorry, didn't see you.

Been a little on edge lately.

Work stuff.

How long were you
standing there?

One second less than
would have been creepy?

How's things in your world?

Uh...

You know Steph,
the woman I'm kind of seeing?

“Kind of seeing.“

Yeah, women love when
you use qualifiers like that.

I like her, it's...
(CLEARS THROAT)

My question is, look, she just changed her
Facebook status to "ln a relationship."

And that freaked you out.

Look, I change my status to "ln
a relationship" all the time,

just to get dudes
to leave me alone.

Yeah. Okay.
I can see that.

But...

Well, she's just getting a bit
intense, you know, okay“.

I mean, she told me we're celebrating
Guy Fawkes Day tomorrow.

I didn't have the heart
to tell her it was weeks ago.

Guy Fawkes Day, huh?
(INHALES SHARPLY)

Yeah...

She's definitely
going to propose.

- Hey, you think she...
-(BLENDER WHIRRING)

(BLENDER STOPS)

- You think...
-(BLENDER STARTS)

(INAUDIBLE)

(BLENDER STOPS)

You're the worst.

Did I miss something?

Just Peyton showing no mercy

to my neuroses
about womankind.

Oh, okay. Let's get it all
out in the open, Man-Things.

- What about Liv?
- Huh?

Oh, she's not glomming
onto you, is she?

She's cramping your style?

- She's not being too needy?
- No. It's all good. Real good.

Mmm?

I mean, today
she left me a voicemail

about how drowning would
be a beautiful way to die,

but otherwise, you know,
same old Liv.

Ah, yeah, uh,
she's rolling hard

on death-obsessed magician.

It will pass. She just needs
to eat someone else's brain.

- Is that all?
- Hmm.

Okay.

So, uh, question.

Since the two of you, uh,

have really experienced
zombie Liv first-hand,

how extreme do her personality
swings get?

RAVI:
She can be a bit mercurial.

But most of the time
I enjoy the variety.

Of course,
I don't have to date her.

There was the time her eyes turned
red and she killed someone.

I'm thinking
that was probably a one-off.

A one-off.

That's good.

(GULPS)

Well, would you look at that?

The death card.

The 13th trump in the Tarot.

A fitting reminder that

no matter how clever
a path we run,

the Reaper
always takes his bounty.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Did you eat Edgar Allen Poe?

Odd, I was under
the impression that you knew

I couldn't stand the sight of
you and yet, here you are.

I'm an acquired taste. Like
gazpacho or that free U2 album.

What do you want, Blaine?

Don't worry, Liv.

I'm not here to ask you to go
on a tandem bike ride with me.

I'm here with some news.

You know those five missing
gentlemen in the newspapers,

-the ones the FBI has seen
fit to investigate? - Yeah.

Well, three of them
were big fans of brains.

I know.
They were my customers.

It seems someone out there
is killing Seattle's zombies.

And you're here to warn me?

To make sure
that I watch my back?

Oh, God, no.

I'm telling you this
because I need your help

to stop whoever's offing
our living-challenged friends.

Not to mention,
it's bad for my bottom line.

So, what do you say, partner?

Should we take justice
into our own hands?

You need my help?

I try not to make a habit of
fraternizing with murderers.

That's no way to go
through life, is it?

Look, I know they brought the FBI
in on this missing persons case.

Read it in the paper.

Been a Sunday subscriber
since '07, NBD.

Anyway, they got this lady Fed

heading up the investigation,
Dale Bozzio.

Bitching name. One you'd remember.
Ring any bells?

Maybe.

Because if we can know
what she knows,

we stand a chance
of getting ahead of the curve.

So, what do you say?
Team up with me.

Stop a zombie killer,
maybe save a few lives?

Have a few laughs?

I don't think so.

Okay, let me put
it to you in Liv-speak.

Some of those missing zombies
have families

and are “nice people."

And more "nice people"
are going to go missing

unless you and I
do something about it.

Look, we know things
the FBI doesn't.

So we're ahead of the curve.

Help me,
Zombie Wan Kenobi.

You're our only hope.

(SCOFFS)

This doesn't change the fact
that you still sicken me.

Wouldn't be me if I didn't.

I don't suppose you're here with
a new batch of tainted Utopium.

No such luck, Doc.

Thanks for your help, Liv.
I'll be seeing you.

Uh...

He'll be seeing you?

You know all those missing,
presumed-dead locals?

- The ones Bozzio is looking into?
- Yeah?

They're zombies.

Oh, Liv...

And Blaine needs
my help finding the killer.

A hotel maid says that
on the day he was murdered,

she could hear
Syd inside his room,

yelling at the angels,

so imagine how intrigued
we were to learn

that his assistant
was named Angel.

Why would I kill Syd?

Why was he yelling
at the angels?

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

Because he saw me
at the hotel bar

hanging out
with Amazing Dick.

(LAUGHS)
He's another magician.

Syd was always thinking
I might leave him.

- You and Syd were lovers?
- God, no.

Where did you go
after your set,

at the time Syd was murdered?

In the lobby,
signing headshots.

Lots of security cameras
in the lobby.

Great. Check them. You'll see.

Look, no way I'd kill Syd.

That'd mean
having to find a new job.

And since every other magician
despises Syd,

they're not gonna hire me.

Why does everyone
hate him so much?

Well, he made his name

destroying other
magicians' careers.

Exposed all
their signature tricks.

Did a whole YouTube series,
Hacking Magic 's Hacks.

Are any of those hack
magicians at the convention?

Oh, yeah, a bunch.

But I'd start out with Houdina and
The Magnificent Magnus first.

He really screwed them.

And if you really want
to get a sense

of how the magic community
felt about Syd,

check out Twitter.

Soak in the hate.

Twitter, a vast collection of
humanity's impetuous thought vomitings.

I'd like to think I'm quite
introspective about what I tweet

to my 23 followers.

Someone has to scroll through
Syd Wicked's Twitter beefs

with basically every magician
who's ever existed.

Uh, I'll do it!

- Really?
- Absolutely.

I used to be a real wand head

until I realized it didn't
help me with the ladies.

So you moved on to video games
and forensic pathology.

Hey, uh, Clive and I have to go question
a magician after her show, tonight.

- You want to come?
- I wish. I have a date.

STEPH: No peeking.
Okay, now.

(GOD SAVE THE QUEEN PLAYING)

(IMITATING BRITISH ACCENT)
"Hello, Governor! Mind the gap."

ls the accent too much?

This... (LAUGHS)

This looked like it
took a lot of work.

- You're worth it.
- Uh...

- So you swung by earlier, when I
wasn't here? - Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

(GASPS) I almost forgot,

no Guy Fawkes celebration

is complete without
a bit of footie.

So, I got us some tickets
to see a soccer match

when the Sounders
are back in town.

Next month, right.

Got a big night
of Brit stuff planned for us.

Throwing darts, apologizing.

Here's a lager, room temp.
Little taste of home.

Drink up, you poncey geezer!

Wow.
You really needed a drink.

(EXHALING DEEPLY)

(BLOWS)

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

For my next trick,
I'm going to need a volunteer.

You see, she doesn't actually rip
the card in half, what she does...

I get it,
it's not actual magic.

You seem to have a lot to say,
why don't you come on up here?

People think playing cards
are just for fun and games.

But a full deck is like a gun

with 52 deadly bullets
in the chamber.

(AUDIENCE GASPING, APPLAUDING)

Now, take what's left of the celery
stalk and hold it on your head.

-(DRUM ROLL)
- Turn and face me.

(LAUGHS)

I don't want your ring.
I'm done.

I can't believe
you've bought into this crap.

I don't even know
who you are anymore!

Let's give a big round of
applause to our volunteer.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

You thinking
what I'm thinking?

She's lethal
with those cards.

We'll have to check her deck.

Good thing
I lifted it off her.

When I was on stage,
I had a vision.

I think Houdina and Syd
were getting married.

I saw Houdina throwing
her diamond ring at him

and calling it off.

Look at this.

Same tempered metal edge
that the murder weapon had.

There are four face cards
missing.

One of them is
the queen of diamonds.

Like the one sticking
out of Syd's jugular.

Well, well,
this is the first time tonight

I'm interested.

Houdina was giving back
her diamond ring to Syd.

Maybe that wasn't
a random card.

Maybe she's
the queen of diamonds.

She was making a point.

As much as I've enjoyed performing
in this three-star hotel bar,

I think it's just about time

for me to get
the hell out of here.

(DRUM ROLL)

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Don't forget
to tip your servers.

Jimmy, what do we do
with this rabbit?

Now would be a good time for you
to explain how that trick worked.

Seattle P.D.

We'd like to ask you some
questions about Syd Wicked.

He's not dead.
I bet it's a stunt.

Syd's very talented.

Trust me, he's dead.

Whatever you say. I'd like
my deck of cards back.

Pretty decent sleight of hand.

Get a spray tan
and some sequins,

you could make a few bucks.

Those cards are doctored.

The queen of diamonds
is missing.

Any idea where that went?

Probably in the garbage
when the edge got dull.

If trick cards
get you all hot and bothered,

you might want to check
with every magician in here.

We've all got them, honey.

Not every magician in here

got an engagement ring
from Syd Wicked.

We were young
and doing crappy clubs.

Syd's whole gimmick
was the goth, death thing.

But it was just
an onstage persona.

- He didn't believe in that stuff?
- Ah! No.

When I met him
he was still going by Steve

and owned all
the Police Academy movies.

Over the years, he got
more and more into it.

When he told me
he'd hired

a Wiccan to perform
the wedding ceremony,

I got the hell out of there.

- How did Syd take that?
- Not well.

He exposed my best trick
and destroyed me.

After that, he modified my trick
and built his career on it.

So you've got
a lot of reasons

why you might be
real sore at Syd.

Tons.

But I was on stage performing
when he quote-unquote died.

I performed the autopsy.
He is dead.

- If you say so.
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Room service.
They forgot my soup.

(DOOR OPENS)

Yep. Houdina performed,
12:30 to 1:30.

Even if she lied, we don't have footage
of anyone going into that room but Syd.

Should we at least
go down to the hotel bar

and confirm
she did the show?

Can you tackle that solo?

I got something
I can't be late for.

It's a date, isn't it?

You're seeing a G-Man.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Their movie is at 9:00.
They'll be leaving soon.

What's that chick's problem?

That's the empress.

She symbolizes fertility

and growth
in the natural world.

Ancients say...

Super boring.

Sorry I asked.

LIV: Lights out.
Right on schedule.

Okay, so we get in,

we get what we need
and we get out.

Look at us,
on a stakeout.

You're like, the stoic by-the-book
veteran and I'm the fun guy who...

Who deals drugs
and kills homeless teenagers.

I was gonna say,
“Doesn't play by the rules,“

but sure.

Look, I'm doing this
for the cause, sister.

You're doing this
for your bottom line.

You're losing
paying customers.

Hey, I'm likely
on that kill list, too.

Nobody knows
I walk amongst the living.

What's this?

Yeah, I don't think they're
going to make that movie.

Love is only
a delay of death,

a tragedy
waiting in the wings.

You're bumming me out, man.

We got to come back tomorrow.

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

- Good morning, sleepyhead.
-(GASPS)

(LAUGHS)

You really knocked
them back last night.

Hey, road trip.
What do you think?

Wine country or Whistler?

(RAVI GROANING)

Are you okay?

Steph, l...

We need to talk.

I think you're
an amazing and...

...creative person and...

Please stop.

I'm pretty sure I know
where this speech is going.

(SIGHS)

Waiting until the morning
after to let me know?

Not classy.

-(DOOR OPENING)
-l'm... I'm sorry.

I knew we'd get
to the apologizing.

-(DOOR CLOSING)
-(RAVI sun-nus)

(EXHALES DEEPLY) Ta-da!
Wasn't that easier?

My tools back, please.

Dale left with her gym bag.

I'd say we have about an hour.

Uh... I'd say 90 minutes.

You don't get that ass
in an hour a day.

Well, isn't that fortunate.

She left everything
out for us. The whole file.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)
How do we do this?

You take everything on that side.
I got everything on this side.

Okay.

(YAWNING) What?

Here, here, here.

"Found in the home refrigerators
of three of the missing persons,

"identical insulated
yellow coolers."

Damn it. We should've gone
with the freezer bags.

I'm such a slave
to aesthetics.

They've identified a hair found
in the sink drain of Meat Cute

as belonging to missing
astronaut Alan York.

You killed the fourth man
who walked on the moon?

Please, nobody cares about the
fourth person to do something.

(SIGHS) I don't think the Feds
know anything more than we do.

So what's the plan
if we figure out

who's been making
these zombies disappear?

I suppose
we lodge a complaint?

Ask the perpetrator
to reconsider his actions.

I'm not hurting anyone.

You seemed
happy enough to shoot me.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Mail from the FBI test lab.

I say we open it.

Careful. It can't
look tampered with.

This begs the question

that haunts
all prestidigitators.

How does one get inside a sealed
space without truly entering?

How does one make the inside,
become the outside?

First, one must...

Did you hear the part where I said
it couldn't be tampered with?

Nope. (CLEARS THROAT)

Oh. Looks like your best bud
Babineaux was about to find out

Lieutenant Suzuki kept human
brains in his mini-fridge.

- We can't let Dale see this.
- Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! Wait.

I've got it.
We throw it away.

No, if she doesn't get this,
she'll follow up on it.

I think I can doctor this up
and drop it back off here.

Make it say the brain
was from a cow.

MAN: Find the queen.

CLIVE: That one.

Whoa. Every time.

You're good at this.
You study magic?

I grew up in Brooklyn.
We don't play in Brooklyn.

You gotta keep working on it, kid.
Meet me next time.

There's our guy.

CLIVE: Magnus?

Clive Babineaux and Olivia
Moore with the Seattle P.D.

Yeah.
Do I make it to both of you?

Or did you each want your own?

No. We're here to ask
you about Syd Wicked.

- You've heard he was murdered?
- Are you sure he's dead?

It might be a stunt.
He's very skilled.

I personally removed
his brain from his body.

Still...

We heard there might have been
some bad blood between you two.

We saw Syd's YouTube video

where he exposed your
floating candelabra trick.

Any reason he'd do that?

Back in my salad days,

before young
Master Wicked ruined me,

he was my opening act.

One day, he came to me
asking me to provide him

15 extra minutes nightly.

I refused,
thought nothing of it.

But then some months later,

when I'd finished
my autobiography,

This is Where the Magic
Happens , $29.95,

I asked Syd to provide a pithy
quote for the back cover

and he did not
have pleasant things to say.

Do you remember what he said?

Let's just say
the quote wasn't usable.

You expect me to use this?

"For those of you
who enjoy watching

“the carcass of old school
magic decay,

“this book's for you."

(GRUNTING)

(LIV GASPS)

Madam?

Was the blurb something like,

"For those who enjoy
watching the carcass

"of old magic decay,
this book's for you"?

Something in that realm.

There was a dead fish
in Syd's room

with a note
from his magician friends,

“Enjoy the decay.“

It was meant to be a prank.

A trifle, really.

Something to show him,
the old man still has it.

Right.

And where were you between 12:30 and
1:00 p.m. the day Syd was murdered?

Uh, I can tell you
exactly where I was,

though I'm afraid the details
might be rather tawdry.

You see, that afternoon,

I was savoring
a Mai Tai in the lobby bar,

when I was approached
by an enchanting,

auburn-haired beauty
with eyes of green

and a bountiful bosom.

She was familiar
with my work,

and suggested we seek privacy
in the lobby men's room.

- Where there are no cameras.
- Convenient.

We needed somewhere we could fully
explore each other's bodies.

Regrettably, I never managed
to get her name.

Mmm-hmm.

Excuse us.

There's no way
any auburn-haired beauty

did the nasty in a
bathroom with that dude.

But we can't place him
in Syd's room anyway.

What?

That kid magician
stole my watch.

This flower had color
and could bloom once.

And yet death, blind to the
beauty of all living things,

even one as vibrant as this,
has swept over it,

wrenching it closer
to the ground.

Until it breaks.

So, is that a "yes,"
you want a quesadilla or no?

Sorry, I'm good.

It's this brain I'm on.
It can get pretty dark.

Hey, no, listen.

Uh, we promised we're gonna be
honest with each other, uh...

I want to know what's going on in
that beautiful undead head of yours.

Well, you know
those missing rich people?

Yeah?

They're zombies.

Someone is going around
the city taking out zombies.

I could be next.

I promise, that's not
going to happen to you.

That's not something
you can promise.

BLAINE:
♪ O Danny boy

♪ The pipes,
the pipes are calling

♪ From glen to glen

♪ And down the mountainside ♪

Hello?

Why, hello.

What a pleasant surprise.

You have quite the voice.

I was lead tenor
in my grade school choir.

Hmm. Second lead,

and then Tommy Fitzpatrick
had an unfortunate fall.

So clumsy, that kid.

So, what brings you in?

I got a surprise visit
at work from Mr. Boss.

Ah! He never calls first.

He saw our big board
with the information you gave.

He said some of it
was out of date.

I think he knows our source
used to work for him.

Thought you might want
the heads up on that.

Much obliged.

You know,
for a little guy, he's...

- Enormously terrifying?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Here, take this.

- A free car wash?
- Whoops, wrong card.

I don't think our relationship
is quite at that level yet.

Here you go.

It's my cell.

So the next time
Mr. Boss drops by

or if you're just feeling the
heebie-jeebies, give me a call.

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

Would the FBI call them
"cow brains“ or "bovine"?

Bovine.

The FBI are
a very formal outfit. (LAUGHS)

These angry magician
tweets are fantastic.

People really hated Syd.
Listen to this one.

“The greatest trick
you've ever pulled

"is convincing the world
you have talent."

Hashtag, "You look like you
live in your mom's basement,"

hashtag,
"Who wears thumb rings?“

-(RAVI LAUGHS)
- Who are those from?

Only local comedy magic duo
Smoak and Meers,

taking a break from their
rocket ship to fame.

Whoa, whoa, hold up.

Syd responded and it just
reads, "You're next,“

followed by an emoji
of an anvil, an explosion,

two skulls and a finger
pointing at them.

That seems mildly threatening.

Well, Smoak and Meers'
most famous trick

is having an anvil
drop on Meers.

I think Syd was threatening
to expose that trick.

Are there any tweets
from them after that one?

Nope. None. They stop.

Hashtag, "I think we
have a new lead.“

- Don't do that.
- Hmm.

Most magicians working today

aren't having a real dialog
with the audience.

Everyone involved in the
experience should have a voice.

Except this guy.

We're gonna have to take that again.
We got two bogies in the shot.

- Smoak and Meers?
- Guilty.

Seattle P.D.,
could we have a moment?

Maybe with the cameras
turned off?

Sorry, we film it all.

It's for a cable special.
Premium.

We're sort of a big deal.

That's nice.

How long have you two
had a feud with Syd Wicked?

-(WHISTLES) - Wow. Gonna just
jump right in there, Lady Cop.

Where's the craft?
The showmanship?

Look, you know
the score with Syd.

Everyone in this business had
a beef with the guy. But us?

We just liked
screwing with him.

He thought
he was better than us.

Let's start with you,
Harpo Marx.

Where were you between 12:30 and 1:00 p.m.
the day Syd was killed?

CLIVE: This isn't a bit.

Let's do this the old-fashioned
way, with our voices.

That's going to be difficult.

My associate is mute,

(MISPRONOUNCING)
Detective Babineaux.

CLIVE: Give me that.

(LAUGHS) And thank you for
this bit of unscripted levity

that will surely end up
in our TV special.

Grilled about a murder.
Good stuff, huh?

And where were you
at the time of the murder?

The Houdina show.

I remember because she
disappeared during her closer

and she never came back
for a bow.

I waited around
for 15 minutes.

It was actually
kind of punk rock.

If Houdina disappeared
for that long,

that means her alibi
doesn't really check out.

You weren't performing
when Syd was killed.

You'd already disappeared
off-stage for your closer.

Guys, I didn't
actually disappear.

I hate to break this to you.

(WHISPERING)
Magic isn't real.

You remember the cocktail
waitress at the end of the show?

The one you asked
if she knew where I was?

That was me. I had her costume
on underneath mine.

But I looked right at you.

That's the thing
about a magic trick.

If it's done well, the answer's
right in front of you.

There was only one person we know
for sure that went in Syd's room.

The maid.

We haven't seen Irina
since she found the body.

Mind giving us
her home address?

We'd like to follow up.

Irina was undocumented.

We paid her in cash.

We're never gonna find her.

Liv?

She's still in the hotel.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

No way.

You two go ahead.
I'll meet you in the ballroom.

There are two parts
to this trick.

First part is,

I lift a real anvil
over Meers' head.

Second part?

I drop it on him.

Now, right before I drop it,

I usually
say something like...

Got another bogie.

(GROANS) This guy.

You, you're under arrest.

Hey, can you shut those off?

Uh, no way.

(DOOR OPENS)

What the hell is going on?

You want me
to just tell you?

What happened
to showmanship?

Ladies and gentlemen,

allow me to blow the lid off
one masterful trick.

You see,
we were led to believe

the only the mortal souls
to enter Syd's quarters

were the maid
and Syd himself.

But if you study
the trick very closely,

you'll see there's one other
person who entered that room,

Mr. Meets.

He wasn't anywhere
near that room.

Oh?

But she was!

(PEOPLE GASPING)

- Irina?
- LIV: Indeed.

You see Smoak and Meers

knew that Syd was going
to expose their biggest trick.

Ruin them like he had
so many magicians.

That's why Meers took a
part-time job here, as Irina.

And when the time came,
she entered his room,

slayed him with a razor-sharp
playing card

and then ran out.

Just as we saw
on security footage.

Ta-da.

LIV: It was almost
the perfect magic trick.

Except I noticed
lrina's writing

on the housekeeping board.

Looked a hell
of a lot like Meers'.

Right down to the ampersand.

Who uses ampersands anymore?

I hope you brought a second set
of cuffs, Detective Babineaux.

Because this magician
had an assistant.

I had nothing to do with this.
It was all her.

You lying son of a bitch!

LIV: Behold!

- I can come out now?
- Yeah.

Behold, Magnus' auburn-haired,
ample-bosomed beauty.

He said that? Aw.

Destiny, please point
to the man who hired you

to romance Magnus
away from security cameras,

thereby destroying
his only alibi.

Him.

Tell me you're getting this.

(HANDCUFFS CLANGING)

Normally we bring witnesses down
to the station to take statements.

Where's the magic in that?

(DOOR CLOSING)

- RAVI: You okay?
- Oh... Oh, my God.

Sorry.

I should really start
announcing myself with fanfare

before I enter a room.

Ah... I am such a dork.

Ugh.

How about we
throw on a flick, hang out?

Well, what did you
have in mind?

Maybe we could finally,
actually,

see that Vertigo movie
you're always going on about.

That sounds
like just my speed.

Whoa.

Aren't you seeing Steph?

Well, I, uh, I ended it.

Maybe this was a bad idea,
moving in.

No, no, no, no, no, no, stay.

I'm an idiot.

Maybe I've been drinking?

- No, it's just the idiocy.
- Hey, hey, hey.

Don't sweat it. Look, I think
you're amazing and funny.

- It's just, I met...
- No need to explain.

You're a good man,
Chakrabarti.

We can still hang though.

Vertigo, come on, finally.

You know, I don't think so.
I'm gonna head upstairs.

This Hare Krishna handed
me a pamphlet about karma.

Been meaning
to check it out, so...

(SIGHS)

Cow brains.

Maybe they're right.

Maybe I'm chasing ghosts.

I mean, I actually thought

Suzuki had a human brain
in his freezer.

That's crazy, isn't it?

You seem disappointed
it's not human.

I don't know.

Maybe I am.

(LIV MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

(FOOTSTEPS)

Major?

(DOOR CLOSING)

Major!