iZombie (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript
Olivia "Liv" Moore was a rosy-cheeked, disciplined, over-achieving medical resident who had her life path completely mapped out, until the night she attended a party that unexpectedly turned into a zombie feeding frenzy. Now as one of the newly undead, Liv has devised a clever way to resist her baser urges to devour fresh human brains - she's taken a job in the Seattle coroner's office. In this ...
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Liv: This was my life
before i died.
17-year-old male.
Went down playing basketball
20 minutes ago.
-I've got no pulse.
-He's cyanotic.
Where the hell is
our chief resident?
Did someone page
dr. Jeffreys?
I need x-ray, pulse ox
and a central line now.
And the biggest needle
and syringe you've got.
We're doing this now.
We should wait
for dr. Jeffreys.
(groans)
Or not.
Tell dr. Jeffreys
we're good here.
Liv.
It's so weird.
You have all the makings
of a nemesis,
But i actually
kind of like you.
Want to go to a party tonight?
Oh. I'm not really
a party person.
Come on. Show everyone
you're not an over-achieving
pain in the ass.
-It's on a boat.
-Thanks for the invite,
but i have plans.
Next time, though.
So, basically every day
of your life is like the end
of sixteen candles?
How psyched are people
when you're their doctor?
Seriously,
if we weren't engaged
I'd be here getting
emergency surgery
like every other day.
Well, in three months
i'm all yours.
Is there any way
we can push that up to,
like, now?
Just go elope somewhere.
'cause i'm kind of feeling
the need to lock this down.
Oh, so, you're not gonna
believe this.
That girl, marcy,
who i thought
wanted to kill me.
She invited me to a party.
Wow. So she's embracing
your overall perfection
Rather than trying
to destroy you.
Well played, marcy the rival.
-It's on a boat or something.
-Tonight? You should go.
Seriously, you're gonna
be stuck with me
for the rest of your life.
Go. Tie one on.
What's the worst
that could happen?
(woman screaming)
(people screaming)
(grunting)
Liv: The worst
that can happen?
Try an inexplicable
zombie outbreak.
(coughs)
Followed by a sudden desire
to eat brains.
(exhales)
(emt shouting)
Liv: I knew that party
was gonna blow.
(beeps)
On the other hand,
how often can you say
you've been changed,
Really changed, by a party?
(theme song playing)
Hey, roomie. I know
you probably won't be
super into this...
-Okay.
-But we thought we'd reinstate
potluck tuesday.
-"we"?
-So we can all be together.
On tuesdays.
Like old times, right?
'cause we all just
like love you so much.
And want to make sure
that you know that,
Because, uh,
Well, we're
a little concerned.
Very concerned, honey.
About your recent behavior.
Which we find to be
100% unlike you.
That's me speaking on behalf
of your brother and me.
No, it's not.
What i'm about to say
comes from a place of love.
You know that, don't you?
That kind of depends
on what you say.
You're throwing away
your life.
Hmm.
You traded a topnotch
residency at the hospital
For a job at the morgue.
And far be it for me
to weigh in on
my daughter's personal life,
But you will regret
breaking off
your engagement
To major till the end of time.
Place of love.
Do you have any idea
how many women would kill
to be with a man like this?
Exactly four.
Yeah, i've met 'em.
Quality women.
Yeah. I don't know who
they plan on killing or why
they think that's my thing,
But they're super-hot
and ready for murder.
I was told that, um,
we wouldn't be bringing up
the engagement today.
Just so you know.
It's evidence.
It speaks to state of mind.
I was also told we're not
putting you on trial.
Peyton: Hey,
you're not on trial.
It's just that you've changed
so drastically since
that night on the lake.
In the six years
we lived together,
you've been this force,
This unstoppable,
hyper-focused fireball.
Now you just watch tv all day
while lying on the couch.
Like you're in a hospice.
This is the first time
you're not volunteering
For the children's hospital
haunted house.
And you know
how important that is to me.
Okay, i see that
this isn't potluck tuesday.
It's an intervention.
-Told you she'd figure it out.
-(sighs)
Okay, i'll...
I'll just say it.
We think you have ptsd.
You go to a boat party
and a bunch of crazy drunks
start killing each other.
And then the fire...
I can't even imagine
what you must've seen.
We think you need
professional help though.
I really don't.
But i will try to come down
and help out
at the haunted house.
I've gotta get to work.
Liv:
They want to help, i get it.
But my burden is of
the bear-it-alone variety.
The really annoying thing
is how right they are.
But i don't have
post-traumatic stress.
I have post-traumatic ennui.
Post-traumatic defeatism.
Post-traumatic
"what's the point?"
Mmm.
You have to see
this anterior rectus
sheath contusion.
It looks exactly like
the virgin mary
holding a les paul.
It would be wrong of me
to instagram that.
Liv: Yes, it would.
So, in the five months
you've been here,
What's the weirdest thing
you've seen?
You drinking cereal milk
over a corpse.
I like that you always keep
it under 15 syllables.
It gives us a good rhythm.
Working with my last resident
was like prepping for
the newlywed game.
"oh, what's
your favorite color?"
"how old were you when
you first touched a boob?"
It's nice to know
i can dissect
a jane doe's spleen
Without feeling obligated
to list my top
desert island albums.
She's a jane doe?
She was found in the back
of a garbage truck.
Driver isn't sure
where he picked her up.
No id,
no matching prints so far.
The garbage truck
was using a crusher, so that
complicates cause of death.
(cell phone chimes and buzzes)
Duty calls.
-(beeps)
-suicide.
Or was it murder?
Sew her back up,
bag her and box her.
Liv: It's probably wrong
that every time i see
a dead body i think,
"what the hell
am i doing with my life?"
(whirring)
I didn't map out
and color code
a 10-year plan for this.
This is not me going
confidently in the direction
of my dreams.
I used to have ambition.
I used to be passionate,
inspired...
Alive.
Now, i'm mostly just hungry.
Oh, and a zombie.
So, there's that.
(sighs)
(tv playing)
I have so many questions.
First, why the hot sauce?
Is that a zombie thing?
(gulps)
Everyone knows
the party line for the lake
washington massacre.
Drugged-up college kids.
Violent fight breaks out.
The only survivors are
the ones smart enough
To jump ship
before the fire started.
But i was on duty that night.
Open.
Ah, you see, many of
the victims were missing
significant brain mass.
My colleagues attributed
this to the fish in the lake.
Because we all know
rainbow trout
go right for the cranium.
Fish. I mean, it was
right there in front of them.
A virus, like rabies,
but not. Something worse.
I'm sorry, i'm confused.
Am i fired
or getting a physical?
Fired? I have like
a billon questions for you.
I'm contemplating
asking you to move in.
How long have you suspected?
Since raoul cortez.
The gangbanger,
gunshot victim?
You finished
the autopsy for me.
Well, the detective on
his case needed me
to open him back up.
Guess what he was missing?
-A strong male role model?
-And a half-pound of brain.
See, after i confirmed
that you were a survivor
of the massacre,
I started, you know,
opening all the bodies
you finished off for me.
Resting heart rate.
(chuckles)
ten beats per minute.
How have you been
so normal to me?
What am i supposed to be?
Freaked out?
Leading torch-wielding
villagers to my apartment?
I've been terrified about
somebody finding out
about me for months
And you're acting
like it's the measles
i've contracted.
-So, you know,
no one else knows?
-God, no.
I mean, that must be hard.
You know, dealing with this
on your own.
Did you know
i used to work for the cdc?
I got canned.
Wanna know why?
Because you believe
in zombies?
They got tired of my warnings.
A nuclear war
or an asteroid strike is bad,
But the most urgent issue
facing humanity?
Man-made plague.
Biological warfare.
See, that night on the lake,
people were doing this new
designer drug called utopium.
-Did you partake?
-No!
The irony is
i don't even go to parties
with regular drugs,
Let alone fancy
new designer drugs.
(rap music playing)
Hey! You looking to party?
This is utopium.
It'll fry your brain,
dip it in batter
and fry it again.
Having my brain
treated like a corn dog.
Not so tempting.
You're pretty tempting.
(gasps)
(people screaming)
That's when
all hell broke loose.
Do tell.
(all screaming)
(coughs)
(breathing heavily)
The emt was too upset
about having accidentally
bagged a "living" girl
To ponder
any other possibilities.
With your current condition,
certainly makes
drawing blood a challenge.
Just so you know,
regarding my unique
dietary needs...
I do it as infrequently
as possible.
If i don't eat
i become dumber,
meaner.
And i'm afraid that
if i let it go long enough,
-I'll go all george romero.
-The hot sauce?
Pretty much the only way
i can taste anything
is if it has at least
Six chili peppers
next to it on a menu.
The weirdest thing of all...
Dr. Death.
What's the story with
my jane doe?
You id her yet?
Uh, not yet, detective.
Uh, we ran her prints
through system
and got nothing back.
I'll process
her dental records next.
Did you find anything
in the dumpster
that can help us?
Please say vomit.
These.
They aren't police issue.
They're novelty.
Officer: I am arresting you
for shoplifting.
You have the right to
retain counsel without delay.
You have the right to free
and immediate legal advice
from duty counsel.
Your report said
cause of death
was blunt force trauma.
You sure it wasn't
just a garbage can
crushing the skull?
Shoplifting. In canada.
She was arrested
for shoplifting in
vancouver in 2008.
And you know this because...
That's when obama was elected.
It was just a hunch.
Forget it.
Ah, that's a pretty
specific hunch.
Detective babineaux,
my resident, olivia moore.
Um, i think
liv's not feeling well.
Could it be something you ate?
So, what?
Did she have moosehead
in the bloodstream?
"i heart shoplifting" tattoo?
-Well...
-Stefani germanotta!
(scoffs)
Arrested november 6th, 2008,
in vancouver for shoplifting.
The prints match.
This is our girl.
Are y'all screwing around
with me?
How did you know that?
I want a straight answer.
Liv's... A psychic.
Ish...
(chuckles)
Fine.
That's how we'll play it.
Everyone screws
with the new guy.
(chuckles)
Tell me that was
brain-related.
It's one of the side-effects.
When i eat a brain
i get visions.
Flashes of memories,
or dreams.
I don't know
exactly what they are,
But it feels like being on
somebody else's acid trip.
Do you mind
If i run a cognitive
evaluation before
the end of your shift?
And maybe get
a few saliva samples?
Mind? It's what i live for.
Liv: They call death
the eternal sleep.
But i haven't slept
in five months.
I tortured myself
obsessing over every
worst-case scenario,
Like my best friend
catching me eating brains,
Or my brother being consumed
in a zombie apocalypse
i unwittingly bring on.
But it's not like
i can talk it out
Or confide in my loved ones
about what's going on with me.
I have no idea
who i am anymore.
What purpose, if any, i serve.
But the real question is
why do i suddenly,
Desperately need a handful
of plastic eyeballs?
Peyton: Well...
Look who decided
to join the human race.
(chuckles)
What station do you want?
Tombstones? Blood splatter?
I don't really care.
Kind of your personal
motto lately.
Liv! Oh! I can't tell you
how happy it makes me
to see you here.
Let's see, where to put you?
Where to put you, um...
Why don't you grab a hammer
And head over to where
they're building
the mad scientist's lab?
Oh! Over there
with my ex-fiance?
Sly, mom.
How about i paint
tombstones instead?
I genuinely don't understand
you anymore.
Liv: Sorry, mom.
No way in hell
I'm risking giving
the man i love zombie.
(woman screaming)
(woman screaming)
Here's johnny!
(gasps)
Tv announcer: Kstw news.
Johnny frost with
up-to-the-minute weather.
You saw
"kstw's own johnny frost"
murder our jane doe?
Just the pre-murder part.
You have to tell
detective babineaux.
I was kind of hoping
you could do that.
You're the one who told him
i was a psychic.
I'm having a hard enough time
pretending i'm alive,
Let alone throwing
a performance as a psychic
into my repertoire.
Liv.
You ate the girl's
temporal lobe.
Going to the police
with her potential murderer
is the least you can do.
You're not
in vice anymore, babineaux.
This is homicide.
-Time to step up your game.
-(man laughing)
(clive exhales)
Miss cleo. Tell me,
is my day going to get worse?
-Hell if i know.
-Yeah, that's what i thought.
Look, i saw something
i thought
you should know about.
Oh, saw with your eyes
or saw with your "gift"?
Cops: (singing)
♪ ah-ah-ah
gaga-ooh-la-la ♪
(all tittering)
I think those guys
want your bad romance.
Unless singing gaga
around the station
is a cop thing.
Only after one of
their peers proudly reports
stefani germanotta
As the name of
the murder victim.
That name you gave me
is lady gaga's real name.
-So you know...
-Oh.
The jane doe must've
given that name to the police
When she was arrested
in vancouver.
It's still the girl.
Been in homicide
two months
without a collar.
Lieutenant's breathing
down my neck,
and i'm back to square one.
Like i said,
i saw something.
I think
i saw who killed her.
That's great. Do tell.
I'll pick him up,
maybe grab some lunch.
(sniffs)
What'd you say
his name was again?
Johnny frost.
The weather man
for channel 11?
Look, i brought
the info to you,
You can do with it
what you will.
So, you just
come up in here,
Dump a pile
of crazy on my lap
And expect me to
put my reputation on the line
by grilling this guy?
Yeah, i guess. Bye.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's not gonna work like that.
Let's you and me
go talk to the weatherman.
Wait. Me?
What?
And that high pressure system
Is gonna move
right through here
And with it comes
the cuddle-up weather, folks.
Start making that hot cocoa.
We're talking low 50s.
-Man: That's great, johnny.
That's great.
-(bell dings)
Yep. That is definitely
the guy from my vision.
Can i go now?
Oh, hell no.
We're about to know
whether you're the real deal
or a one-trick pony.
Oh, what? You're gonna say,
"my psychic friend here
says you're a murderer.
"sign this confession."
-Nope. Won't need to.
-(unzips)
When he sees this photo,
His reaction will let us know
how psychic you really are.
Excuse me, mr. Frost.
Oh. Happy to!
Who do i make it out to?
Seattle police department.
I take it you know her.
I don't.
Any more questions,
you can ask
with my lawyer present.
You could use some sun,
young lady.
"here's johnny!"
Did she record our sessions?
Look.
I am a beloved public figure.
Isn't there something
we could do to just
make this go away?
Generally speaking,
murder isn't something
we just let slide.
Murder? Tatiana's dead?
Can you account
for your whereabouts
monday evening?
I was here,
On live tv at 6:00 and 11:00
doing the weather.
I have 100,000
eye witnesses.
I'm gonna need you
to tell me everything
you know about tatiana.
Johnny: See, role playing.
The trophy wife
and the intruder was one
of our go-tos.
How do you even
know about this?
Did you talk to tess?
-Who's tess?
-Her friend.
-Have they worked
together a lot?
-I don't know.
I only doubled the fun
once on my birthday.
Clive:
You have an address for her?
It's not like i sent her
a christmas card.
Clive: Call me if you think
of anything else.
I guess i should be grateful
there's only one of me.
If my zombie movie research
has taught me anything,
It's that being part of
a horde would suck.
Are you sure about
being the only one?
There were other survivors.
I'm not positive.
It's one of the things
that keeps me up at night.
But it's been five months,
I feel like there'd be
some buzz on the street
If we were
mid-zombie apocalypse.
Clive: Zombies!
I would be a dangerous man
after the zombies came.
I wouldn't be making
any rookie mistakes.
Is that a scratch
on my grandmother?
Blam!
Hasta la vista, mee-ma.
-Chivalry is dead.
-But clive's alive.
You got an hour?
To do that voodoo that you do.
I haven't had
any more visions.
You said they were triggered
when you saw the stuff
The victim saw,
heard or smelled,
So i made an appointment
with tatiana's friend tess.
So...
So, i need you
to come with me and smell,
look and listen.
It won't take long,
just a couple of sniffs
And a quick look-see,
Then it's back to your lair,
dark princess.
-Say what?
-'cause you know,
you're all...
(stammering)
i don't know what you are.
Emo? Goth?
Which is the one
who's too tortured
to go on living?
What i am is a doctor
who is too busy
to do your job for you.
You're a doctor
who is watching a movie.
You should go.
Technically, helping
with the investigation
is part of the job.
(sighs)
This tess girl also has
a clean record.
I mean, that's two girls
who come up on the first page
Of an internet search
for seattle escorts
And not an arrest
between them.
Well, maybe cops
should google more.
See, that's what
i'm talking about.
That whole "whatever" vibe?
I mean, what's with that?
Why are you so concerned
with my vibe?
I find it perplexing.
I'm standing in a hallway
waiting to smell a call girl.
This is vibe appropriate.
-Ma'am.
-Mmm.
Costs double for two.
Oh, sorry, no english.
(speaking foreign language)
-What is that? Russian?
-Romanian.
Romanian mean girl.
What do you want, cop?
I'm busy.
Well, i know for a fact
you've got the next hour free.
I booked your time.
Everything okay, tess?
They hassling you?
She has rights.
It's okay, truman.
Go back inside.
Thank you for
your citizenship.
We're here to ask
about a business associate
of yours, tatiana.
(scoffs) tatiana!
What has she done
this time, huh?
I'm sorry to have to tell you,
tatiana is dead.
She was murdered.
When was the last time
you saw her?
I don't know anything.
Whoa!
Miss...
Miss, please come out
and talk to us.
We could use your help.
-Did you work with her
on the night of the 16th?
-(tess sobbing)
We don't even have a full
name for tatiana, tess.
Her family needs
to be notified.
Is that her real name?
Tess: Tatiana korzha.
Clive:
This is tatiana's place?
Do you know how many people
i'd have to sleep with
to afford this neighborhood?
I know what she was,
but she always
paid her rent on time.
Oh, my!
Thank you.
We'll take it from here.
Do whatever you do.
Just try not to move things
around too much.
Whoever ransacked this place
left tatiana's purse.
Stereo, tv.
It wasn't a robbery.
Here's her phone.
Tess called her
the day she died.
The 16th, right?
(tess speaking romanian)
It's for you.
(plays again)
"hey, you little klepto,
get your ass
back up to the suite.
"or we are never gonna work
with you again."
"we"?
So, there was another
girl there that night.
(beeps)
-It sounds like tatiana
stole something.
-Look at all this crap.
Klepto starts to make sense.
Liv: So much sense.
Eating tatiana's brain
didn't just give me
some of her memories,
It gave me kleptomania
and the ability
to speak romanian.
Huh. So "you are what you eat"
isn't just a bitchy thing
My mother says
about fat people.
Tatiana: I don't have it!
It's not here!
Man: Where's my friggin' ring?
I know you have it!
Tatiana: Please...
My foot is slipping!
(tatiana screaming)
-(gasping)
-hey. You okay?
I just saw her die.
We need to find who did this
and nail his ass to the wall.
Liv: So, some psychotic
bastard tripled the fun
with three call girls
And is willing to murder
to get his stolen ring back?
(pounding on door)
She's gone.
Whatever you told her
sent her running.
It's her body, you know.
Did she say
where she was going?
Like i'm gonna tell you.
Hey! Karl marx!
There's one girl dead already.
We're trying to stop
that number from going up.
Oh, god. Uh...
Tess didn't say
where she was going.
She had a couple of suitcases,
and she asked me
to pick up her mail. Um...
Sorry about the other girl.
Wait,
it wasn't monica, was it?
Monica?
Uh, friend of tess'.
She came around here a lot.
-They work together?
-I hope not.
Well, she seemed
like a kid to me.
I never thought
of her in that way.
Sure you didn't.
Monica's listed under
tatiana's other friends.
Is this her?
Truman: Yeah.
Yo! Dirty debbie harry!
Slow your roll.
I'm supposed to be at work,
And i'm afraid i'm gonna
find this monica girl waiting
in a drawer for me.
We've gotta do something.
What happened to,
"do with it what you will"?
Where's that girl?
When tatiana was
falling to her death,
i could feel it.
She knew
she was gonna die.
It's personal now.
Okay. We're gonna find her.
I would've heard
if a new body had turned up.
I'll track down her address.
You think your boss
will let you come with me?
I have very little doubt
about that.
Yeah, when internal affairs
asked me about chest poking...
I saw nothing.
Of course you can
help the detective.
A call girl gets murdered,
you eat her brains,
help find her killer.
It's like that
elton john song.
Philadelphia freedom?
The one from the lion king.
Yes, sir elton specifically
references dead call girls
in the circle of life.
-O.M. Is that me?
-Mmm-hmm.
I'm treating your blood
with different bacteria.
It's all just
preliminary research.
If you want to find a cure
you have to know how
a disease defends itself.
The more scenarios
you expose it to
The more you know
how it works.
Wait. You think
you can cure this?
(exhales)
It could take years.
It's an uphill battle
but so was polio.
Why did you think
i was running all those tests?
What... You were expecting
to stay like this forever?
Liv: As a matter of fact,
i was.
Great. Thank you, sergeant.
(beeps)
I got an address for monica.
Let's roll.
Sorry. Something's come up.
There's this thing
i need to do.
Wait, that's it?
Thought i had
a psychic sidekick.
I was working on the bit...
Cagney and pasty.
(thunder rumbling)
Liv: Major wanted to know
if there was a chance for us.
I thought shutting him down
was noble.
But what if there is hope?
Even if it's dim
and somewhere in
the nebulous future,
It's a hope i need
in order to survive.
But what about
what major needs?
Can i really ask him
to wait for a day
that may never come?
(woman laughing)
(woman laughs)
Liv: When you die,
life goes on without you.
If you're among
the living dead,
you're around to watch.
Giving up my dream
of becoming a heart surgeon
was depressing.
Eating brains sucks
beyond words.
But seeing major
possibly moving on
with someone else?
That's my threshold.
That's the soul crusher.
You wanted to see me,
lieutenant?
Pratt here has a ci who's
got a lead on the dead girl.
He's gonna run the case
from here on out.
But i'm so close, sir.
The killer was one
of tatiana's johns.
The john's ring was stolen,
and he killed her
trying to get it back.
Only she didn't have it.
I've got a witness that says
one of them got out of dodge
with a suitcase,
And it looks like
the other one left
with her dog.
Three call girls?
Who are we looking for,
superman? Ron jeremy?
I've got leads on the girls.
One of them is enrolled at one
of those online colleges.
She logged into
her economics class
an hour ago.
I've got an ip address.
The nerds in computer
forensics are working on
a location for me.
Sir, we need
to find these girls
before the killer does.
Well, maybe pratt
will let you tag along
If that address
amounts to anything.
(sighing)
-Babineaux.
-Yeah.
I'm sorry about that, man.
Low guy on the totem pole
always gets boned, right?
But hey, it'll make it
that much sweeter
When you bag
your first collar, right?
(clears throat)
look, do me a favor.
Follow up on some
of your interviews.
Talk to the weatherman.
Have another conversation
with tess' neighbor.
Please, i appreciate it.
Mmm, all right.
Thank you.
(woman talking
indistinctly on tv)
Liv: Seizing the day
is for suckers.
Weird question,
have you seen my pens?
Oh.
Great, thanks.
(woman speaking
indistinctly on tv)
(chuckles)
I so wanna write you off.
I so wanna be in that
"you can't help those who
don't help themselves" place.
But, despite all of this...
You're my freakin' heart.
So, if you could step up,
i'd appreciate it.
(sighs)
Okay.
(inhales)
Liv:
I can't refuse to be dead.
I can't eat a ham sandwich
and feel like
a sated normal human being.
I can't have sex,
or tell the people i love
what's going on with me,
But i can choose not to have
a drawer full of fake eyeballs
and strangers' tchotchkes.
I can choose to be
a decent person.
I can choose to help
find justice for
a fellow dead girl.
Ma'am? Can i help you?
Uh, i'm from
the me's office.
I wanted to see
detective babineaux.
Um, i'm sorry, he's out.
I've got, uh, computer
forensics on the line
for babineaux.
They got that address
for those girls.
This is pratt. Uh-huh.
Great, thank you.
Um, do you want me
to leave him a message?
I'm good.
Okay.
Hey. Just looking for you.
Yeah, i'm sure
you're incredibly busy, but...
No, i'm not.
I'm back on the case.
What do you need?
Johnny frost said
tatiana had
a babbos daypork,
Or deerpork,
something like that.
-You mean barbos de porc?
-Oh, okay.
It means "bearded pig."
Tatiana had a bearded pig.
You sure
you're saying that right?
No, that can't be it.
Wait...
Son of a bitch.
That's why none of the girls
have a record.
He's a cop.
A bearded cop. It's pratt.
There's no ci.
He wanted me off the case
before i solved it.
Wait, is pratt the detective
who sits one desk
over from you?
-Yeah.
-He knows where the girls are.
He has the address.
Damn! That really works.
Clive:
What do you not understand?
I need immediate backup.
These girls
are in real danger.
Dispatch: I'll pass along
your message, detective.
Controlling, relentless,
vindictive,
schizo crazy bitch.
My wife is like satan
with a fat ass.
If she comes home
from boca
And i don't have
my wedding ring...
(whistling)
Did i mention it was
her grandpa's ring?
You want to hear
the gory details that the ring
survived dachau
And her grandfather did not?
(chuckles)
(both gasping)
Which one of you ladies
is gonna tell me
where my ring is?
You'd be my favorite.
Clive: There's pratt's car.
I don't want to get any closer
in case he hears us.
-Stay here.
-What else am i gonna to do?
Subdue him with
a good verbal flogging?
I'm just saying,
don't get intrepid.
(sobbing) tatiana was always
stealing things.
She couldn't help it.
Yes, you told me that.
But she didn't have it.
I saw the look in her eye.
(shouting) where is my ring?
-I pawned it!
-(softly) monica!
Monica: I needed
the money for school,
And i knew tatiana
would take the blame
Because she steals things.
You do see how
this is your fault?
I am not gonna live
in a one-room apartment
While my wife
gets half my salary!
You killed tatiana!
You did!
I didn't want this.
(gasping)
(women screaming)
Upstairs!
He ran upstairs!
(seatbelt clicks)
No. No, no, no.
(engine starts)
(tires squealing)
Get out of the car!
Get out of that car
or i'll shoot you!
Get out of the car.
Get out of that car!
(liv yelps)
(tires screeching)
(both sobbing)
Clive: Liv!
(panting)
What the hell?
(grunting)
(yelling)
(tires screeching)
(liv yelps)
(snarling)
Clive: Liv!
I saw you get shot.
He missed.
I played dead and then
i just chased after his car.
Adrenaline is no joke.
Too intrepid?
(exhales)
Way too intrepid.
-Tess and monica?
-Yeah, they're okay.
Why is there a bullet hole
in the roof of my car?
Maybe he was celebrating
drunk cowboy style.
(imitates gunshots)
I don't know. Literally,
i got here like two seconds
before you did.
He was about to kill them.
We got here just in time.
Thanks to you.
And you.
I mean, you drove.
Seriously, how did you
solve crime before me?
-I feel i'm kind of vital
to this whole operation.
-(chuckles)
Want me to check him out?
I am a doctor.
Go see to the girls.
I got this.
You're right.
This is so much sweeter.
I got mad and suddenly
i was 99% zombie.
Like 28 days later style,
but with a side of rage bomb.
I was a dead,
alabaster badass.
I'm performing open heart
surgery on you
without anesthesia.
You're beyond badass.
There it is.
(exhales) i mean,
i'd offer to stitch you up,
But there isn't
even much blood.
Must take the pressure off
when your patient's
already dead.
Hey, you have to stop calling
yourself that.
You're not dead.
You're undead.
Big difference.
Just think about
what you did tonight.
You saved two women's lives.
You got justice for another,
and you got a very bad man
off the streets.
And as god is my witness,
you'll never be hungry again.
Fresh brains for later.
But now, let's get to work.
Shall we?
Liv: Life's short
and then you die.
And then... Then you have
to make some decisions.
You can skulk around,
lamenting all that
you've lost,
Try to keep yourself
numb and isolated.
Or you can embrace
who you are.
I heard there'd be brains.
Aw, man. See,
now i want to be a zombie.
It's kind of a commitment.
You gotta lock down a whole
"lifeless but crazy" stare.
And then there's the
brain-eating
and the dance moves.
You make an awesome zombie.
-Don't i though?
-Yeah.
Who wants to go scare
the crap out of some kids?
(evil laughter)
Have you seen your sister?
She told me
she would help with tickets.
Of course that would
require her to make it
off her couch.
(chuckling)
I don't think making it
off her couch was an issue.
(laughing)
Liv: I wanted to do something
with my life.
I wanted to help people.
Not necessarily as
a zombie psychic who eats
murder victim brains,
But still...
I so nailed it today.
I've spent five months
bemoaning all that
was taken from me.
It never occurred to me that
i'd have something to give.
A way to contribute.
A reason for being not alive.
(beeps)
To sleep,
perchance to not dream.
All i needed was some hope
that there's a future
that i fit into somehow.
At last.
Sweet blissful sleep.
(siren wailing)
(grunting)
(panting)
---
Liv: This was my life
before i died.
17-year-old male.
Went down playing basketball
20 minutes ago.
-I've got no pulse.
-He's cyanotic.
Where the hell is
our chief resident?
Did someone page
dr. Jeffreys?
I need x-ray, pulse ox
and a central line now.
And the biggest needle
and syringe you've got.
We're doing this now.
We should wait
for dr. Jeffreys.
(groans)
Or not.
Tell dr. Jeffreys
we're good here.
Liv.
It's so weird.
You have all the makings
of a nemesis,
But i actually
kind of like you.
Want to go to a party tonight?
Oh. I'm not really
a party person.
Come on. Show everyone
you're not an over-achieving
pain in the ass.
-It's on a boat.
-Thanks for the invite,
but i have plans.
Next time, though.
So, basically every day
of your life is like the end
of sixteen candles?
How psyched are people
when you're their doctor?
Seriously,
if we weren't engaged
I'd be here getting
emergency surgery
like every other day.
Well, in three months
i'm all yours.
Is there any way
we can push that up to,
like, now?
Just go elope somewhere.
'cause i'm kind of feeling
the need to lock this down.
Oh, so, you're not gonna
believe this.
That girl, marcy,
who i thought
wanted to kill me.
She invited me to a party.
Wow. So she's embracing
your overall perfection
Rather than trying
to destroy you.
Well played, marcy the rival.
-It's on a boat or something.
-Tonight? You should go.
Seriously, you're gonna
be stuck with me
for the rest of your life.
Go. Tie one on.
What's the worst
that could happen?
(woman screaming)
(people screaming)
(grunting)
Liv: The worst
that can happen?
Try an inexplicable
zombie outbreak.
(coughs)
Followed by a sudden desire
to eat brains.
(exhales)
(emt shouting)
Liv: I knew that party
was gonna blow.
(beeps)
On the other hand,
how often can you say
you've been changed,
Really changed, by a party?
(theme song playing)
Hey, roomie. I know
you probably won't be
super into this...
-Okay.
-But we thought we'd reinstate
potluck tuesday.
-"we"?
-So we can all be together.
On tuesdays.
Like old times, right?
'cause we all just
like love you so much.
And want to make sure
that you know that,
Because, uh,
Well, we're
a little concerned.
Very concerned, honey.
About your recent behavior.
Which we find to be
100% unlike you.
That's me speaking on behalf
of your brother and me.
No, it's not.
What i'm about to say
comes from a place of love.
You know that, don't you?
That kind of depends
on what you say.
You're throwing away
your life.
Hmm.
You traded a topnotch
residency at the hospital
For a job at the morgue.
And far be it for me
to weigh in on
my daughter's personal life,
But you will regret
breaking off
your engagement
To major till the end of time.
Place of love.
Do you have any idea
how many women would kill
to be with a man like this?
Exactly four.
Yeah, i've met 'em.
Quality women.
Yeah. I don't know who
they plan on killing or why
they think that's my thing,
But they're super-hot
and ready for murder.
I was told that, um,
we wouldn't be bringing up
the engagement today.
Just so you know.
It's evidence.
It speaks to state of mind.
I was also told we're not
putting you on trial.
Peyton: Hey,
you're not on trial.
It's just that you've changed
so drastically since
that night on the lake.
In the six years
we lived together,
you've been this force,
This unstoppable,
hyper-focused fireball.
Now you just watch tv all day
while lying on the couch.
Like you're in a hospice.
This is the first time
you're not volunteering
For the children's hospital
haunted house.
And you know
how important that is to me.
Okay, i see that
this isn't potluck tuesday.
It's an intervention.
-Told you she'd figure it out.
-(sighs)
Okay, i'll...
I'll just say it.
We think you have ptsd.
You go to a boat party
and a bunch of crazy drunks
start killing each other.
And then the fire...
I can't even imagine
what you must've seen.
We think you need
professional help though.
I really don't.
But i will try to come down
and help out
at the haunted house.
I've gotta get to work.
Liv:
They want to help, i get it.
But my burden is of
the bear-it-alone variety.
The really annoying thing
is how right they are.
But i don't have
post-traumatic stress.
I have post-traumatic ennui.
Post-traumatic defeatism.
Post-traumatic
"what's the point?"
Mmm.
You have to see
this anterior rectus
sheath contusion.
It looks exactly like
the virgin mary
holding a les paul.
It would be wrong of me
to instagram that.
Liv: Yes, it would.
So, in the five months
you've been here,
What's the weirdest thing
you've seen?
You drinking cereal milk
over a corpse.
I like that you always keep
it under 15 syllables.
It gives us a good rhythm.
Working with my last resident
was like prepping for
the newlywed game.
"oh, what's
your favorite color?"
"how old were you when
you first touched a boob?"
It's nice to know
i can dissect
a jane doe's spleen
Without feeling obligated
to list my top
desert island albums.
She's a jane doe?
She was found in the back
of a garbage truck.
Driver isn't sure
where he picked her up.
No id,
no matching prints so far.
The garbage truck
was using a crusher, so that
complicates cause of death.
(cell phone chimes and buzzes)
Duty calls.
-(beeps)
-suicide.
Or was it murder?
Sew her back up,
bag her and box her.
Liv: It's probably wrong
that every time i see
a dead body i think,
"what the hell
am i doing with my life?"
(whirring)
I didn't map out
and color code
a 10-year plan for this.
This is not me going
confidently in the direction
of my dreams.
I used to have ambition.
I used to be passionate,
inspired...
Alive.
Now, i'm mostly just hungry.
Oh, and a zombie.
So, there's that.
(sighs)
(tv playing)
I have so many questions.
First, why the hot sauce?
Is that a zombie thing?
(gulps)
Everyone knows
the party line for the lake
washington massacre.
Drugged-up college kids.
Violent fight breaks out.
The only survivors are
the ones smart enough
To jump ship
before the fire started.
But i was on duty that night.
Open.
Ah, you see, many of
the victims were missing
significant brain mass.
My colleagues attributed
this to the fish in the lake.
Because we all know
rainbow trout
go right for the cranium.
Fish. I mean, it was
right there in front of them.
A virus, like rabies,
but not. Something worse.
I'm sorry, i'm confused.
Am i fired
or getting a physical?
Fired? I have like
a billon questions for you.
I'm contemplating
asking you to move in.
How long have you suspected?
Since raoul cortez.
The gangbanger,
gunshot victim?
You finished
the autopsy for me.
Well, the detective on
his case needed me
to open him back up.
Guess what he was missing?
-A strong male role model?
-And a half-pound of brain.
See, after i confirmed
that you were a survivor
of the massacre,
I started, you know,
opening all the bodies
you finished off for me.
Resting heart rate.
(chuckles)
ten beats per minute.
How have you been
so normal to me?
What am i supposed to be?
Freaked out?
Leading torch-wielding
villagers to my apartment?
I've been terrified about
somebody finding out
about me for months
And you're acting
like it's the measles
i've contracted.
-So, you know,
no one else knows?
-God, no.
I mean, that must be hard.
You know, dealing with this
on your own.
Did you know
i used to work for the cdc?
I got canned.
Wanna know why?
Because you believe
in zombies?
They got tired of my warnings.
A nuclear war
or an asteroid strike is bad,
But the most urgent issue
facing humanity?
Man-made plague.
Biological warfare.
See, that night on the lake,
people were doing this new
designer drug called utopium.
-Did you partake?
-No!
The irony is
i don't even go to parties
with regular drugs,
Let alone fancy
new designer drugs.
(rap music playing)
Hey! You looking to party?
This is utopium.
It'll fry your brain,
dip it in batter
and fry it again.
Having my brain
treated like a corn dog.
Not so tempting.
You're pretty tempting.
(gasps)
(people screaming)
That's when
all hell broke loose.
Do tell.
(all screaming)
(coughs)
(breathing heavily)
The emt was too upset
about having accidentally
bagged a "living" girl
To ponder
any other possibilities.
With your current condition,
certainly makes
drawing blood a challenge.
Just so you know,
regarding my unique
dietary needs...
I do it as infrequently
as possible.
If i don't eat
i become dumber,
meaner.
And i'm afraid that
if i let it go long enough,
-I'll go all george romero.
-The hot sauce?
Pretty much the only way
i can taste anything
is if it has at least
Six chili peppers
next to it on a menu.
The weirdest thing of all...
Dr. Death.
What's the story with
my jane doe?
You id her yet?
Uh, not yet, detective.
Uh, we ran her prints
through system
and got nothing back.
I'll process
her dental records next.
Did you find anything
in the dumpster
that can help us?
Please say vomit.
These.
They aren't police issue.
They're novelty.
Officer: I am arresting you
for shoplifting.
You have the right to
retain counsel without delay.
You have the right to free
and immediate legal advice
from duty counsel.
Your report said
cause of death
was blunt force trauma.
You sure it wasn't
just a garbage can
crushing the skull?
Shoplifting. In canada.
She was arrested
for shoplifting in
vancouver in 2008.
And you know this because...
That's when obama was elected.
It was just a hunch.
Forget it.
Ah, that's a pretty
specific hunch.
Detective babineaux,
my resident, olivia moore.
Um, i think
liv's not feeling well.
Could it be something you ate?
So, what?
Did she have moosehead
in the bloodstream?
"i heart shoplifting" tattoo?
-Well...
-Stefani germanotta!
(scoffs)
Arrested november 6th, 2008,
in vancouver for shoplifting.
The prints match.
This is our girl.
Are y'all screwing around
with me?
How did you know that?
I want a straight answer.
Liv's... A psychic.
Ish...
(chuckles)
Fine.
That's how we'll play it.
Everyone screws
with the new guy.
(chuckles)
Tell me that was
brain-related.
It's one of the side-effects.
When i eat a brain
i get visions.
Flashes of memories,
or dreams.
I don't know
exactly what they are,
But it feels like being on
somebody else's acid trip.
Do you mind
If i run a cognitive
evaluation before
the end of your shift?
And maybe get
a few saliva samples?
Mind? It's what i live for.
Liv: They call death
the eternal sleep.
But i haven't slept
in five months.
I tortured myself
obsessing over every
worst-case scenario,
Like my best friend
catching me eating brains,
Or my brother being consumed
in a zombie apocalypse
i unwittingly bring on.
But it's not like
i can talk it out
Or confide in my loved ones
about what's going on with me.
I have no idea
who i am anymore.
What purpose, if any, i serve.
But the real question is
why do i suddenly,
Desperately need a handful
of plastic eyeballs?
Peyton: Well...
Look who decided
to join the human race.
(chuckles)
What station do you want?
Tombstones? Blood splatter?
I don't really care.
Kind of your personal
motto lately.
Liv! Oh! I can't tell you
how happy it makes me
to see you here.
Let's see, where to put you?
Where to put you, um...
Why don't you grab a hammer
And head over to where
they're building
the mad scientist's lab?
Oh! Over there
with my ex-fiance?
Sly, mom.
How about i paint
tombstones instead?
I genuinely don't understand
you anymore.
Liv: Sorry, mom.
No way in hell
I'm risking giving
the man i love zombie.
(woman screaming)
(woman screaming)
Here's johnny!
(gasps)
Tv announcer: Kstw news.
Johnny frost with
up-to-the-minute weather.
You saw
"kstw's own johnny frost"
murder our jane doe?
Just the pre-murder part.
You have to tell
detective babineaux.
I was kind of hoping
you could do that.
You're the one who told him
i was a psychic.
I'm having a hard enough time
pretending i'm alive,
Let alone throwing
a performance as a psychic
into my repertoire.
Liv.
You ate the girl's
temporal lobe.
Going to the police
with her potential murderer
is the least you can do.
You're not
in vice anymore, babineaux.
This is homicide.
-Time to step up your game.
-(man laughing)
(clive exhales)
Miss cleo. Tell me,
is my day going to get worse?
-Hell if i know.
-Yeah, that's what i thought.
Look, i saw something
i thought
you should know about.
Oh, saw with your eyes
or saw with your "gift"?
Cops: (singing)
♪ ah-ah-ah
gaga-ooh-la-la ♪
(all tittering)
I think those guys
want your bad romance.
Unless singing gaga
around the station
is a cop thing.
Only after one of
their peers proudly reports
stefani germanotta
As the name of
the murder victim.
That name you gave me
is lady gaga's real name.
-So you know...
-Oh.
The jane doe must've
given that name to the police
When she was arrested
in vancouver.
It's still the girl.
Been in homicide
two months
without a collar.
Lieutenant's breathing
down my neck,
and i'm back to square one.
Like i said,
i saw something.
I think
i saw who killed her.
That's great. Do tell.
I'll pick him up,
maybe grab some lunch.
(sniffs)
What'd you say
his name was again?
Johnny frost.
The weather man
for channel 11?
Look, i brought
the info to you,
You can do with it
what you will.
So, you just
come up in here,
Dump a pile
of crazy on my lap
And expect me to
put my reputation on the line
by grilling this guy?
Yeah, i guess. Bye.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's not gonna work like that.
Let's you and me
go talk to the weatherman.
Wait. Me?
What?
And that high pressure system
Is gonna move
right through here
And with it comes
the cuddle-up weather, folks.
Start making that hot cocoa.
We're talking low 50s.
-Man: That's great, johnny.
That's great.
-(bell dings)
Yep. That is definitely
the guy from my vision.
Can i go now?
Oh, hell no.
We're about to know
whether you're the real deal
or a one-trick pony.
Oh, what? You're gonna say,
"my psychic friend here
says you're a murderer.
"sign this confession."
-Nope. Won't need to.
-(unzips)
When he sees this photo,
His reaction will let us know
how psychic you really are.
Excuse me, mr. Frost.
Oh. Happy to!
Who do i make it out to?
Seattle police department.
I take it you know her.
I don't.
Any more questions,
you can ask
with my lawyer present.
You could use some sun,
young lady.
"here's johnny!"
Did she record our sessions?
Look.
I am a beloved public figure.
Isn't there something
we could do to just
make this go away?
Generally speaking,
murder isn't something
we just let slide.
Murder? Tatiana's dead?
Can you account
for your whereabouts
monday evening?
I was here,
On live tv at 6:00 and 11:00
doing the weather.
I have 100,000
eye witnesses.
I'm gonna need you
to tell me everything
you know about tatiana.
Johnny: See, role playing.
The trophy wife
and the intruder was one
of our go-tos.
How do you even
know about this?
Did you talk to tess?
-Who's tess?
-Her friend.
-Have they worked
together a lot?
-I don't know.
I only doubled the fun
once on my birthday.
Clive:
You have an address for her?
It's not like i sent her
a christmas card.
Clive: Call me if you think
of anything else.
I guess i should be grateful
there's only one of me.
If my zombie movie research
has taught me anything,
It's that being part of
a horde would suck.
Are you sure about
being the only one?
There were other survivors.
I'm not positive.
It's one of the things
that keeps me up at night.
But it's been five months,
I feel like there'd be
some buzz on the street
If we were
mid-zombie apocalypse.
Clive: Zombies!
I would be a dangerous man
after the zombies came.
I wouldn't be making
any rookie mistakes.
Is that a scratch
on my grandmother?
Blam!
Hasta la vista, mee-ma.
-Chivalry is dead.
-But clive's alive.
You got an hour?
To do that voodoo that you do.
I haven't had
any more visions.
You said they were triggered
when you saw the stuff
The victim saw,
heard or smelled,
So i made an appointment
with tatiana's friend tess.
So...
So, i need you
to come with me and smell,
look and listen.
It won't take long,
just a couple of sniffs
And a quick look-see,
Then it's back to your lair,
dark princess.
-Say what?
-'cause you know,
you're all...
(stammering)
i don't know what you are.
Emo? Goth?
Which is the one
who's too tortured
to go on living?
What i am is a doctor
who is too busy
to do your job for you.
You're a doctor
who is watching a movie.
You should go.
Technically, helping
with the investigation
is part of the job.
(sighs)
This tess girl also has
a clean record.
I mean, that's two girls
who come up on the first page
Of an internet search
for seattle escorts
And not an arrest
between them.
Well, maybe cops
should google more.
See, that's what
i'm talking about.
That whole "whatever" vibe?
I mean, what's with that?
Why are you so concerned
with my vibe?
I find it perplexing.
I'm standing in a hallway
waiting to smell a call girl.
This is vibe appropriate.
-Ma'am.
-Mmm.
Costs double for two.
Oh, sorry, no english.
(speaking foreign language)
-What is that? Russian?
-Romanian.
Romanian mean girl.
What do you want, cop?
I'm busy.
Well, i know for a fact
you've got the next hour free.
I booked your time.
Everything okay, tess?
They hassling you?
She has rights.
It's okay, truman.
Go back inside.
Thank you for
your citizenship.
We're here to ask
about a business associate
of yours, tatiana.
(scoffs) tatiana!
What has she done
this time, huh?
I'm sorry to have to tell you,
tatiana is dead.
She was murdered.
When was the last time
you saw her?
I don't know anything.
Whoa!
Miss...
Miss, please come out
and talk to us.
We could use your help.
-Did you work with her
on the night of the 16th?
-(tess sobbing)
We don't even have a full
name for tatiana, tess.
Her family needs
to be notified.
Is that her real name?
Tess: Tatiana korzha.
Clive:
This is tatiana's place?
Do you know how many people
i'd have to sleep with
to afford this neighborhood?
I know what she was,
but she always
paid her rent on time.
Oh, my!
Thank you.
We'll take it from here.
Do whatever you do.
Just try not to move things
around too much.
Whoever ransacked this place
left tatiana's purse.
Stereo, tv.
It wasn't a robbery.
Here's her phone.
Tess called her
the day she died.
The 16th, right?
(tess speaking romanian)
It's for you.
(plays again)
"hey, you little klepto,
get your ass
back up to the suite.
"or we are never gonna work
with you again."
"we"?
So, there was another
girl there that night.
(beeps)
-It sounds like tatiana
stole something.
-Look at all this crap.
Klepto starts to make sense.
Liv: So much sense.
Eating tatiana's brain
didn't just give me
some of her memories,
It gave me kleptomania
and the ability
to speak romanian.
Huh. So "you are what you eat"
isn't just a bitchy thing
My mother says
about fat people.
Tatiana: I don't have it!
It's not here!
Man: Where's my friggin' ring?
I know you have it!
Tatiana: Please...
My foot is slipping!
(tatiana screaming)
-(gasping)
-hey. You okay?
I just saw her die.
We need to find who did this
and nail his ass to the wall.
Liv: So, some psychotic
bastard tripled the fun
with three call girls
And is willing to murder
to get his stolen ring back?
(pounding on door)
She's gone.
Whatever you told her
sent her running.
It's her body, you know.
Did she say
where she was going?
Like i'm gonna tell you.
Hey! Karl marx!
There's one girl dead already.
We're trying to stop
that number from going up.
Oh, god. Uh...
Tess didn't say
where she was going.
She had a couple of suitcases,
and she asked me
to pick up her mail. Um...
Sorry about the other girl.
Wait,
it wasn't monica, was it?
Monica?
Uh, friend of tess'.
She came around here a lot.
-They work together?
-I hope not.
Well, she seemed
like a kid to me.
I never thought
of her in that way.
Sure you didn't.
Monica's listed under
tatiana's other friends.
Is this her?
Truman: Yeah.
Yo! Dirty debbie harry!
Slow your roll.
I'm supposed to be at work,
And i'm afraid i'm gonna
find this monica girl waiting
in a drawer for me.
We've gotta do something.
What happened to,
"do with it what you will"?
Where's that girl?
When tatiana was
falling to her death,
i could feel it.
She knew
she was gonna die.
It's personal now.
Okay. We're gonna find her.
I would've heard
if a new body had turned up.
I'll track down her address.
You think your boss
will let you come with me?
I have very little doubt
about that.
Yeah, when internal affairs
asked me about chest poking...
I saw nothing.
Of course you can
help the detective.
A call girl gets murdered,
you eat her brains,
help find her killer.
It's like that
elton john song.
Philadelphia freedom?
The one from the lion king.
Yes, sir elton specifically
references dead call girls
in the circle of life.
-O.M. Is that me?
-Mmm-hmm.
I'm treating your blood
with different bacteria.
It's all just
preliminary research.
If you want to find a cure
you have to know how
a disease defends itself.
The more scenarios
you expose it to
The more you know
how it works.
Wait. You think
you can cure this?
(exhales)
It could take years.
It's an uphill battle
but so was polio.
Why did you think
i was running all those tests?
What... You were expecting
to stay like this forever?
Liv: As a matter of fact,
i was.
Great. Thank you, sergeant.
(beeps)
I got an address for monica.
Let's roll.
Sorry. Something's come up.
There's this thing
i need to do.
Wait, that's it?
Thought i had
a psychic sidekick.
I was working on the bit...
Cagney and pasty.
(thunder rumbling)
Liv: Major wanted to know
if there was a chance for us.
I thought shutting him down
was noble.
But what if there is hope?
Even if it's dim
and somewhere in
the nebulous future,
It's a hope i need
in order to survive.
But what about
what major needs?
Can i really ask him
to wait for a day
that may never come?
(woman laughing)
(woman laughs)
Liv: When you die,
life goes on without you.
If you're among
the living dead,
you're around to watch.
Giving up my dream
of becoming a heart surgeon
was depressing.
Eating brains sucks
beyond words.
But seeing major
possibly moving on
with someone else?
That's my threshold.
That's the soul crusher.
You wanted to see me,
lieutenant?
Pratt here has a ci who's
got a lead on the dead girl.
He's gonna run the case
from here on out.
But i'm so close, sir.
The killer was one
of tatiana's johns.
The john's ring was stolen,
and he killed her
trying to get it back.
Only she didn't have it.
I've got a witness that says
one of them got out of dodge
with a suitcase,
And it looks like
the other one left
with her dog.
Three call girls?
Who are we looking for,
superman? Ron jeremy?
I've got leads on the girls.
One of them is enrolled at one
of those online colleges.
She logged into
her economics class
an hour ago.
I've got an ip address.
The nerds in computer
forensics are working on
a location for me.
Sir, we need
to find these girls
before the killer does.
Well, maybe pratt
will let you tag along
If that address
amounts to anything.
(sighing)
-Babineaux.
-Yeah.
I'm sorry about that, man.
Low guy on the totem pole
always gets boned, right?
But hey, it'll make it
that much sweeter
When you bag
your first collar, right?
(clears throat)
look, do me a favor.
Follow up on some
of your interviews.
Talk to the weatherman.
Have another conversation
with tess' neighbor.
Please, i appreciate it.
Mmm, all right.
Thank you.
(woman talking
indistinctly on tv)
Liv: Seizing the day
is for suckers.
Weird question,
have you seen my pens?
Oh.
Great, thanks.
(woman speaking
indistinctly on tv)
(chuckles)
I so wanna write you off.
I so wanna be in that
"you can't help those who
don't help themselves" place.
But, despite all of this...
You're my freakin' heart.
So, if you could step up,
i'd appreciate it.
(sighs)
Okay.
(inhales)
Liv:
I can't refuse to be dead.
I can't eat a ham sandwich
and feel like
a sated normal human being.
I can't have sex,
or tell the people i love
what's going on with me,
But i can choose not to have
a drawer full of fake eyeballs
and strangers' tchotchkes.
I can choose to be
a decent person.
I can choose to help
find justice for
a fellow dead girl.
Ma'am? Can i help you?
Uh, i'm from
the me's office.
I wanted to see
detective babineaux.
Um, i'm sorry, he's out.
I've got, uh, computer
forensics on the line
for babineaux.
They got that address
for those girls.
This is pratt. Uh-huh.
Great, thank you.
Um, do you want me
to leave him a message?
I'm good.
Okay.
Hey. Just looking for you.
Yeah, i'm sure
you're incredibly busy, but...
No, i'm not.
I'm back on the case.
What do you need?
Johnny frost said
tatiana had
a babbos daypork,
Or deerpork,
something like that.
-You mean barbos de porc?
-Oh, okay.
It means "bearded pig."
Tatiana had a bearded pig.
You sure
you're saying that right?
No, that can't be it.
Wait...
Son of a bitch.
That's why none of the girls
have a record.
He's a cop.
A bearded cop. It's pratt.
There's no ci.
He wanted me off the case
before i solved it.
Wait, is pratt the detective
who sits one desk
over from you?
-Yeah.
-He knows where the girls are.
He has the address.
Damn! That really works.
Clive:
What do you not understand?
I need immediate backup.
These girls
are in real danger.
Dispatch: I'll pass along
your message, detective.
Controlling, relentless,
vindictive,
schizo crazy bitch.
My wife is like satan
with a fat ass.
If she comes home
from boca
And i don't have
my wedding ring...
(whistling)
Did i mention it was
her grandpa's ring?
You want to hear
the gory details that the ring
survived dachau
And her grandfather did not?
(chuckles)
(both gasping)
Which one of you ladies
is gonna tell me
where my ring is?
You'd be my favorite.
Clive: There's pratt's car.
I don't want to get any closer
in case he hears us.
-Stay here.
-What else am i gonna to do?
Subdue him with
a good verbal flogging?
I'm just saying,
don't get intrepid.
(sobbing) tatiana was always
stealing things.
She couldn't help it.
Yes, you told me that.
But she didn't have it.
I saw the look in her eye.
(shouting) where is my ring?
-I pawned it!
-(softly) monica!
Monica: I needed
the money for school,
And i knew tatiana
would take the blame
Because she steals things.
You do see how
this is your fault?
I am not gonna live
in a one-room apartment
While my wife
gets half my salary!
You killed tatiana!
You did!
I didn't want this.
(gasping)
(women screaming)
Upstairs!
He ran upstairs!
(seatbelt clicks)
No. No, no, no.
(engine starts)
(tires squealing)
Get out of the car!
Get out of that car
or i'll shoot you!
Get out of the car.
Get out of that car!
(liv yelps)
(tires screeching)
(both sobbing)
Clive: Liv!
(panting)
What the hell?
(grunting)
(yelling)
(tires screeching)
(liv yelps)
(snarling)
Clive: Liv!
I saw you get shot.
He missed.
I played dead and then
i just chased after his car.
Adrenaline is no joke.
Too intrepid?
(exhales)
Way too intrepid.
-Tess and monica?
-Yeah, they're okay.
Why is there a bullet hole
in the roof of my car?
Maybe he was celebrating
drunk cowboy style.
(imitates gunshots)
I don't know. Literally,
i got here like two seconds
before you did.
He was about to kill them.
We got here just in time.
Thanks to you.
And you.
I mean, you drove.
Seriously, how did you
solve crime before me?
-I feel i'm kind of vital
to this whole operation.
-(chuckles)
Want me to check him out?
I am a doctor.
Go see to the girls.
I got this.
You're right.
This is so much sweeter.
I got mad and suddenly
i was 99% zombie.
Like 28 days later style,
but with a side of rage bomb.
I was a dead,
alabaster badass.
I'm performing open heart
surgery on you
without anesthesia.
You're beyond badass.
There it is.
(exhales) i mean,
i'd offer to stitch you up,
But there isn't
even much blood.
Must take the pressure off
when your patient's
already dead.
Hey, you have to stop calling
yourself that.
You're not dead.
You're undead.
Big difference.
Just think about
what you did tonight.
You saved two women's lives.
You got justice for another,
and you got a very bad man
off the streets.
And as god is my witness,
you'll never be hungry again.
Fresh brains for later.
But now, let's get to work.
Shall we?
Liv: Life's short
and then you die.
And then... Then you have
to make some decisions.
You can skulk around,
lamenting all that
you've lost,
Try to keep yourself
numb and isolated.
Or you can embrace
who you are.
I heard there'd be brains.
Aw, man. See,
now i want to be a zombie.
It's kind of a commitment.
You gotta lock down a whole
"lifeless but crazy" stare.
And then there's the
brain-eating
and the dance moves.
You make an awesome zombie.
-Don't i though?
-Yeah.
Who wants to go scare
the crap out of some kids?
(evil laughter)
Have you seen your sister?
She told me
she would help with tickets.
Of course that would
require her to make it
off her couch.
(chuckling)
I don't think making it
off her couch was an issue.
(laughing)
Liv: I wanted to do something
with my life.
I wanted to help people.
Not necessarily as
a zombie psychic who eats
murder victim brains,
But still...
I so nailed it today.
I've spent five months
bemoaning all that
was taken from me.
It never occurred to me that
i'd have something to give.
A way to contribute.
A reason for being not alive.
(beeps)
To sleep,
perchance to not dream.
All i needed was some hope
that there's a future
that i fit into somehow.
At last.
Sweet blissful sleep.
(siren wailing)
(grunting)
(panting)