Younger (2015–…): Season 6, Episode 6 - Merger, She Wrote - full transcript

Oh, God. Tarps.

Are you, uh,

are you having another one
of your special parties?

No, I am going to paint the ceiling

like the Sistine Chapel.

Suspended.

Ooh, hot!

Ugh, you know what?
I'm not feeling so hot today.

I waited ten minutes last night
to get a drink at Cubby Hole.

Well, that doesn't seem so bad.

Liza, the bartenders used to
fight over who would serve me.



Not argue, fight.

I'm telling you, I'm losing my mojo.

Come on, I heard someone sneaking out

- of your room last night.
- That was me

- sneaking into the fridge.
- Oh.

Is Charles still here?

Uh, no. He's not here.

We are not in a good place.

It's the whole corporate
competition thing.

Wait, that is still happening?

Oh, my God.

It must be driving Kelsey insane.

It is.

It's driving me insane.



But apparently for Charles,

it's a win-win, 'cause
he owns both companies.

Well, if he owns both companies,

why not just merge them, right?

I don't think Kelsey
or Charles would go for that.

How would I convince either of them?

Just say that you'll
all be working together again.

Charles still gets all the profits.

Bing, bang, boom... done.

After the success of
my intermittent fasting book,

"Think Fast,"

I'm focused on a new biohack

to achieve self-actualization.

Diana, what do you do when
your phone stops working?

Send Liza to the Genius Bar.

Okay. So, Liza,

what advice do they usually give you?

Uh, turn it off and turn it back on.

Exactly. Reset.

Which brings me to
my new book: "Microdosing."

And, uh, what is that?

Microdosing is ingesting
a small amount of a substance.

Yes, illicit.

It improves energy levels, creativity,

a general sense of well-being.

How, uh, illicit are we talking?

LSD, MDMA, Psilocybin,
commonly known as Mushrooms.

Isn't promoting drug use
a little dicey?

I mean, from a legal standpoint?

You have to think of these substances

as medicine for your mind.

Microdosing can silence fears.
It can push aside ego.

It can expand our consciousness.

I'm hosting
a medically-supervised retreat

upstate this weekend.

You can come see for yourself.

- Me?
- Whoever's gonna edit my book

has to be invested.

They have to experience
microdosing firsthand.

If you're not open to that...

No, I'm open. I'm open.

I'm wide open.

Uh, I've done Molly.

Uh, and... I'm not bragging.

I'm just saying that I would...

yeah, I will see you there.

That book's gonna make a lot of noise.

I'm really glad you're up
for that retreat.

It's micro, right?

Totally micro.

But you just have
to promise me one thing.

Sure.

You're gonna bring me back samples.

Ladies, we have some voice
auditions to attend

for Bronwyn Madigan's Audible book.

Ooh, exciting!

It's Boomer Erotica, Liza.

Hmm.

"Cathy slid into the bathtub.

"Noticing that Frank was
as hard as the titanium

"in his hip, she said,

'Rub-a-dub-dub, who's
the big boy in this tub?'"

"Rub-a-dub-dub, who is
the big boy in this tub?"

Rub-a-dub-dub,

who's the big boy in this tub?

Thank you for your time.

No one popped for me.

It's like they're
not understanding Cathy.

I mean, what's not to get?

"Kathy slid into the bathtub.

"Noticing that Frank was
as hard as the titanium

"in his hip, she said,

'Rub-a-dub-dub, who's
the big boy in this tub?'"

That I liked.

I mean, it's not hard.
What's the problem?

The problem is you didn't audition.

Yeah, Diana, you should
totally be reading this.

Well, I have to agree with
my publisher.

Diana Trout, will you voice my book?

I think we found our Seasoned Slut!

- Stop.
- Sorry.

Hey, working late?

Always.

Well, do you need anything before I go?

We've got drinks at 8:00.

Mmm, Charles.

He's not the enemy, Kelsey.

I just... I hate competing against him.

Maybe there's a way we don't have to.

I got to go.

Bing, bang, boom. Merger.

Millennial and Mercury are one company.

Your imprint stays the same,
so does ours,

we all just work under one roof

and take away the competition.

You come out on top!

It's a great idea.

In spirit.

Mercury has no cash flow yet.

Its valuation is purely speculative.

The board would never
agree to a merger.

I just... I wish there was a way

that we could work together.

Come work at Mercury.

Ah, very funny.

I'm serious.

You are serious.

Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

I can't just leave Kelsey.

We would have to find you
a very, very competent editor

to replace you at Millennial,
but that's not impossible.

But we're friends.
We're very close friends.

- You know that.
- Yes, and if you are friends,

then she will understand.

Not if I leave her for you.

I left my company to be with you.

How can there even be a choice?

You're kind of making it a choice.

I'm trying to bring us all together.

Thank you. Why don't we...

why don't we talk about this at home?

I have to pack.

I'm going upstate tomorrow
for the night.

- The microdosing retreat?
- You're going to that?

Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

It's gonna be the hottest
nonfiction book of the year.

- Millennial needs that book.
- So does Mercury.

Can I at least give you a ride home?

Nope. I'm good.

See you tomorrow.

We have you in room three, Ms. Miller.

Let me just grab your keys,

- and I'll show you to your room.
- Okay.

You beat me.

For once, huh?

How was the train?

Uh, I got the quiet car.

Can we please just call a truce?

Maybe we can start by sharing a room?

Are we still competing for this book?

- Yes.
- Then no.

Checking in?

Tomorrow we wake,
meet in the great hall,

and start the journey.

Oh!

In order to prep
your stomachs and psyches,

here is an amuse-bouche.

Oh, wow.

Uh, is this our dose?

It's a nanodose. It's very mild.

It's more to test out
how your system will react

to the microdose tomorrow.

Oh.

Uh, have you ever done drugs before?

Uh, we were more of a drinking family.

Oh, alcohol is so bad for your system.

And LSD is healthy?

Legally, we can't say it's LSD.

But it is LSD.

Legally, I can neither
confirm nor deny.

So what do you call it?

Not LSD.

Oh!

Your rooms.

By the way, if you have
any questions, just call me.

I'm literally a doctor.

Oh, uh, awesome.

Bye.

Josh?

Oh, my God. Hi!

What are you doing here?

I... I've known Travis forever.

He, uh, he told me there's
some venture capitalists here

that he thinks I should meet.

Ab... about what?

He, uh, he thinks I should
franchise Inkburg.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I got a little girl and
a littler bank account, so...

Uh, but, I mean, the real question is

what are you two doing
at a psychedelics retreat?

Uh, um, we're both trying
to land Travis's book.

Separately.

Ah! Sounds complicated.

But fun?

- Mm.
- Huh?

Well, I'm, uh, going to get
into whatever's in this can.

Definitely not LSD.

Definitely not.

Bye.

Um...

Well, this should be interesting.

Yeah.

Should we do this?

Cheers.

Cheers.

"My favorite Doors album was
playing on the record player.

"As he unsnapped his bellbottoms,

"and I dipped my breast into his mouth,

"my wild soul was reawakened
by his throbbing tongue

on my nipple."

Is that sexy?

Oh. Super sexy.

Yeah? Great.

Oh, hi.

Oh, hello, Zane.
Uh, we're not quite done here.

I think we're actually
all out of time for today.

Yeah? I thought I could maybe

hit nipple a little harder.

- Nah.
- Oh, okay. Great.

Throbbing nipple. Yeah.

You remember Audrey Colbert.

- Of course.
- How you doing?

She's going to be voicing her memoir.

Oh, well, best of luck to you.

Don't you want to hear a little?

Of the book you stole from me?

- Outbid, not stole.
- Right, stealing's a crime.

You would never promote
anything like that.

Okay.

"It was unlike any night

"I've spent in Manhattan.
I was dressed to the nines,

staring at my reflection in the
bathroom at the Four Seasons."

- Uh, what do you think?
- I mean,

she's too matter-of-fact.

liked zoned out, callous.

- So, um, guilty.
- Yeah.

"I have no idea how it
happened, but they were dead."

Okay, that was great. Good start.

Um, but let's try one more with
a little bit more feeling.

Okay. Let me try that.

"I thought to myself,

"am I really doing this?

"Am I going to have a three-way

"with a married couple?

"I took a deep breath, opened the door,

then I saw it!"

"There was blood everywhere!

I have no idea how it happened,
but they were dead!"

That's how I did it for the jury.

Was that better?

That's great.

She's terrifying. She's totally guilty.

My God, she's a psychopath.

You know, I gotta admit,
I'm a little scared of her.

She's hot but... scary.

Your mic is open.

But great to know how you really feel.

W...

Okay... now, that
was some crazy shit back there.

I really enjoyed teaming up
with you again.

We should do it long-term.

If a spot at Millennial opens up.

If you're trying to tell me

that Charles offered Liza
at job at Mercury...

I know. She told me.

And she's staying where she is.

Yeah, but for how long?

Face it, Peters, Liza
and Charles won't stay apart.

They're gonna work together.
It's inevitable.

- And where does that leave us?
- I don't know.

But you and me... we're a mess.

Hey, you're way more of a mess than me.

Oh, um... I'm not the one
with stains on my tie.

Boop!

Can't believe I fell for that.

This thing that's keeping us
apart is killing me.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

We shouldn't be doing this.

Why not? I came to apologize.

Uh, yes, you did, and...

I let you in,
and I accept your apology.

I didn't take my dose. Did you?

Ah.

That explains it. You were...

kind of a different person there.

Yeah. You were kind of
a different person too.

Welcome to my retreat,
away from the ordinary.

We wanna open your minds.

It's one thing to read about
microdosing.

It's another to experience it.

And although your doses
have been carefully calibrated,

everyone metabolizes
the chemicals differently,

so if you have any reaction,

please, go see one of
the doctors who welcomed you,

or see the nurse Maureen in the lobby.

Oh, shit.

Oh! Help!

Ha-help! Oh, whoa!

Help?

Hey, guys.

You havin' fun yet?

Uh...

learning a lot, for sure.

That's a neat trick.

What trick?

Are you
seeing tricky things, Liza?

Nev... never mind me.

I'm just... I'm just
feeling a little funny.

Oh, that's right.

You're a drug super-taster.

I am?

Yeah! Remember the lollipot in Jersey?

What's a lollipot?

It's
a weird story from the past.

You know, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna go see the nurse.

I'll go with you.

I'll go with you.

We'll go with you.

No.

No.

Don't... just...

stay.

Just... you stay.

Okay...

Oh. Okay.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm feeling a little weird.

Are you Nurse Maureen?

Travis Jason said to come find you

if I was having any issues,

and I am definitely having some issues.

This is a safe space.

Help!

Oh! Wait.

Wait...

Hey! You!

Hey, you! Help!

Oh!

Hi! Call 911!

Really?

Oh, God!

Help!

Okay.

Aah!

Oh. Whew.

I'm done. Are you?

Oh, God.

Is the universe trying
to tell me something

by putting Josh here
just when Charles and I

are having this roadblock?

I imagined Josh in my room last night.

I mean, it wasn't even real,
but I feel guilty

- for my own thoughts.
- Been there.

Oh, Josh is so beautiful.

Every time I look at him,

I have flashes of our sex.

Oh, Maureen... our sex!

Well!

How is it with Charles?

Oh, don't get me wrong.

It is really hot with Charles too.

They bring out different things in you.

- Why not just have both?
- Oh!

but it doesn't work that way,
Nurse Maureen.

I can't do that!

But can you do this?

- Yeah!
- Wow!

I can't do that.

I bet you can!

Whoa...

I'm amazing!

Ohh... ohh!

- Look at you go!
- Oh!

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

Yep.

Super-taster.

You sure you're okay?

I burn bright,

but I fade faster.

You know, I had a really, uh,

interesting conversation with Josh.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah, it's, uh,

it's nice to see him start a family.

Makes me think about

how important family is to me.

For both of us.

You know, I think this weekend

really did expand my mind...

In ways I wasn't expecting.

You sure you're okay to drive?

Yeah. Come on.

Hey.

How was your weekend?

Well, I got hog-tied
in my painting harness.

- Wh...
- And the guy that lives

across the street watched me

while he jerked off to it.

Oh, my God! That is awful.

- Are you okay?
- Am I okay?

I'm great. I got my mojo back.

And how was
your drug escapade?

Oh, do you have a cold?

- I have a lozenge in my purse.
- No, I'm...

Don't you find it sexy?

A lot of people find it sexy.

Oh!

Yes.

Never mind. Just... where's my plant?

- What?
- You kept sending me photos

of a plant... I just assumed
it was a gift for me.

Maureen.

Hey, did you get the book?

We don't know,

but we got something even better.

What?

Charles wants to tell you himself.

Mercury's success has
started to hurt my family,

which is... all of you.

And it is time

to let that go.

You're closing up Mercury.

I want you to buy it.

We'd love to, Charles, but...

we can't afford it.

Here's how much I want.

Million dollars.

We don't have a million dollars.

I don't see any zeros.

$1.

My grandfather mortgaged

everything to start this place.

He was doing something
to keep his family together,

and I am tired of fighting with mine.

I want to come home.

As publisher.

If I come back,
it would be as an editor.

An editor whose relationship
with a fellow editor

is nobody's business.

You would be publisher, Kelsey.
I would be working for you.

Next to Liza.

On those terms, uh,

I say yes.

- Ladies?
- I say yes.

Oh, I absolutely say yes.

I'll give you a fiver.
You can keep the change.

Thank you.

I think we'll be stronger together.

Welcome home, Charles.