Younger (2015–…): Season 6, Episode 3 - The Unusual Suspect - full transcript

Liza and Charles' romance heats up, but Liza suspects he's keeping something from her. Millennial gets the scoop on a tell-all from acquitted murderer Audrey Colbert; Kelsey feels undermined by Quinn.

- Were you up all night,
my little party baby, huh?

I would have totally
raged with you.

- I did it.
I am caught up on "Exonerated,"

and I have thoughts.
- What's "Exonerated"?

- What?
- It is huge.

- It's so good.

- Do you remember
Audrey Colbert?

She was charged with murdering
that couple

who brought her to the
Four Seasons for a three-way?

- Yeah, she claims
she was in the bathroom

while someone else stabbed
the couple 16 times.

- But she had hung juries in
both criminal and civil court.

- The podcast is so good.
- Yeah.

- I swear, the only thing
white women

love more than Pintrest
is murder.

Oh, hollandaise?
- Yeah, thanks.

Wait, do they--do they
think that she did it?

- Inconclusive so far,
and Audrey

refused to be
interviewed for it.

- She is pitching
a book, though.

And we have a meeting tomorrow.

- No, no tweeting.

We convinced her agent
to bring it to us first.

We can take it off the market

before anyone else
even hears about it.

- Oh, my God!

- Well, I guess party baby
needs a new diaper.

- Mommy wipes, Daddy diaps?
- Yeah, sounds good to me.

Oh, come here.
Yes, oh, yes.

- Maggie, I hope you put
a tarp down in there,

because those two look
ready to make

yet another
perfect-looking baby.

- What?
- Clare and Josh.

They're basically, like,
walking heart eye emojis.

Haven't you seen it?
- You know what?

I haven't been able
to look at her

since, you know, the incident.

- What--what incident?
- The birth.

I mean, she hoisted her legs
over my shoulders,

and shot that baby into my arms
in the back of an Uber.

I can't un-see that.
- Oh, diva!

- I haven't been able
to look at a--

- Oh, my God, can you not
even say "vagina?"

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
this will not do.

I will fix this, okay?

You will be back
on the hunt in no time.

- Ew.
- I said "hunt," with an H.

- Um, all right,
I'm late for a thing.

So--and I have an episode of
"Exonerated" to catch up on.

- We just sat down.

- You're listening
to "Exonerated."

Tim Weigel met Audrey Colbert
for the first and only time

in June 2017 at
the Rubin Museum in New York.

- I was there one Sunday
checking out

the Tibetan art exhibit,
and this woman

brushed up behind me
and quickly walked away.

She touched me
and she was hot,

so I followed her.

She moved really quickly,
darting into corners

and then re-appearing
out of nowhere.

It felt dangerous,
kind of sexy.

- And then what happened?
- And then, we--

- ♪ I make bad girls ♪

♪ Look real good ♪

♪ No! ♪

♪ I make bad girls
look real good ♪

♪ Look real good ♪

- Xiexie, bai, bai, la!

Ugh, creeps.

I guess Time's Up hasn't
reached Shenzhen yet.

Good morning, ladies!
- Good morning.

- Quinn, do we have
something scheduled?

- Oh, no, I had a breakfast
meeting in Midtown

that went long,
and I needed a hard line

for the international call,

so I just came
to the nearest Wi-Fi.

I hope that's okay.
- Of course!

You've been on the bestseller
list for three weeks.

Consider us
your Midtown hot desk.

- Excellent.
I'm sure you're aware

that CLAW is trending
on Twitter?

Over 19,000 people
are tweeting about it, so.

- Oh!
- That's great.

- It is.
In fact, "The Cut"

wants me to come
and talk about it

on their
"How I Get It Done" series,

and I would love for
my publisher to interview me.

- That's wonderful.

- Okay, sounds good.
- Oh, good.

They'll reach out to you
with all the details.

And thank you for being
so accommodating.

That's Mandarin for "good-bye."

- Whoa, lots of
male energy here.

But they're all dealing
with the same trauma you are,

so don't think of men
as the enemy for once.

- I don't think of men
as the enemy.

- Oh, yeah, no, me neither.
Definitely not.

- Let's get started.
Hi, I'm Beth.

I will be your guide.

Many partners,
after witnessing birth,

have trouble seeing the vagina
as sexual again,

and this is natural.

It was a source
of joy and warmth and...

Love and heat.

And now, it's a sight
of jarring trauma.

And we can run from that,

or we can dive
right in headfirst,

and reclaim that love.

So I encourage you all
to share your stories,

no matter how scary they are.

- Labor was easy.

The baby came out
really quickly.

And then, her uterus just sort
of fell out on the table.

Like giblets.

- The placenta dislodged
from the cord,

so they had to
retrieve it manually.

Did you know
they make rubber gloves

that go all the way up
to the elbow?

- The baby's arm was just
sticking out of it, flailing.

For, like, five minutes.

- I'm so sorry.
What--her arm came out, and--

- Everybody's obsessed
with Audrey Colbert,

but nobody really knows her.

They just know
the salacious stories

they've heard on "Exonerated."

But this is her life!

Is it glamorous?

Is it sexy?

But is it criminal?

And this is where
you're supposed to say "no."

We rehearsed this.

- Sorry, I forgot.

- Um, we are huge fans
of "Exonerated."

- Yeah.
- But we know that the podcast

isn't telling us everything.

- Yeah, what we're interested
in is your story.

You know, in your words.

- But this will not be
a confession or a denial.

This will be the truth.

The good, the bad,
and everything in between.

Is she promiscuous?

Is she jealous?
Almost pathologically.

Is she a murderer?

Audrey, this is where
you say no, remember?

- No.

Do you think I did it?

- No.

- Definitely not.
- No.

- Good, because if you thought
I had killed two people

and you still wanted
to publish my book,

I don't think
I could trust you,

and I really need to trust you.

That insufferable podcast

turned me into
a national supervillain.

- International.
Huge in Europe.

- This is my opportunity
to clear my name.

A book isn't
going to be sliced up--

- Phrasing.
- Into horror memes

like my Megyn Kelly interview,
or chopped up

to make me look like some sort
of dangerous psychopath.

Does that sound like something
that you can help me with?

- Yes.
- Definitely.

- Good.

- Yeah, right.

- What was that?
- A crippling lack

of media training,
but don't worry.

We will fix that
before the book tour.

The good news is she likes you!
- Great.

You're not taking this
anywhere else, right?

- 650, and no one
will even know

she's writing a book
until we announce.

Yeah, okay.
Great, yeah.

Seriously, you can't
tell anybody.

- Okay.
- She's insanely secretive.

Don't tell her I said that.

- A bottle of Dom, please.
I'm celebrating.

- Make that two.
- Whoa.

Where have you been hiding?

- I'm not hiding, just busy.
- With?

I mean, you barely
text me back anymore.

What's going on?
Where are you working?

Are you working?
- Look, I can't say just yet,

but it's big.

- You know, you don't
need to pretend.

You're going to find something.

- I have, and when I close it,
you'll hear about it.

- Okay.
- You don't believe me.

- Um, there's only
one bottle left.

It's his.
On me.

- You're not paying.
- You're not working.

- You're not listening.

- Oh, whoa.

You're not going
to help me drink it?

- Hey, she is finally asleep.
For good, this time.

Don't jinx it.

- You want to go
sleep in your bed?

- I'm too tired to go to bed.
I sleep where I can now.

All right, here.
Lift up.

Oh, there we go.

- Oh, I should
clean her bottles.

- No, I already did,

right after I emptied
the Diaper Genie.

- Oh, thank you.

Truly, you've been so amazing.
- Hm.

- I don't know how I thought
I could do this alone.

- Yeah.

Well, I've done about a tenth
of the work that you have,

but you're welcome.



- Liza, Kelsey, anyone?

Yeah, a little help.
- Oh, God, Diana!

- What?
- Please.

- Jeez.
- Get me to the chair.

- Okay, all right.
- I'm good, I'm fine.

- All right, all right,
all right.

- Okay.
- What happened?

- We've got a problem.

I was at Pilates
with my publisher ladies,

and politely announcing
that CLAW

is going to be number one
on "The New York Times"

bestseller list this week.
- What, officially?

- Okay, you've got
to be kidding me.

- Could you get me
my prescription from my purse

and stop interrupting, please?

Anyway, I announce,
and Jackie Dunn,

who is obsessed with me,

always turns everything
into a contest,

claims that she has
an inside track

on a new book
by Audrey Colbert.

- That's impossible.

- Redmond said he wasn't
taking her anywhere else.

- According to my group,
she is pitching

to half
the major houses in town.

- But that's our book!
- Oh, my God.

- I know, I got so frazzled

that I got caught up
in the reformer.

Could you just help me
open this, please?

And can someone
get me an espresso?

Postpone the
power trip, Kelsey.

I am handicapped.
- We need to get Redmond

on the phone right now.

- Hold on, I'll be right back
with espresso.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Just hand me the--

- Kelsey, what self-destructive
idiot gave you this number?

- Your assistant.
She owed me.

- Hi, Hodor.

Listen, I'm taking
an infrared sauna.

Can we make this a quickie?

- Yeah, you screwed us
on Audrey Colbert!

- I said "quickie,"
not no lube.

- You said it was ours,
and now, you're taking it wide.

- We gave you the pre-empt
you asked for,

the meeting went great,

and we are about to top
the best-seller list.

- I saw.
Quinn's number one

with a dagger.

- What are you talking about?

- Quinn's shiny number one
comes accessorized

with a dagger on every list,
meaning bulk sales.

Meaning you bought
your best-seller.

- What?
No, listen.

I'm just as surprised
as anyone,

but that book's a hit.
It's trending on Twitter.

- I know, an army
of Chinese bots

inserting "#CLAW" into every
conversation they can.

Which means, like your
sales numbers, it's a scam.

Everyone in town
is talking about it.

It's suspicious, and Audrey
already has enough of that.

- Redmond, that's not fair.
- Thanks for calling.

Never do it again.
Tell my assistant she's fired.

- All right, I'm here.
Let's call him.

- He's not the problem.
We need to find Quinn.

- I'm going to need her
to slow down

until my Vicodin kicks in.

- Enjoy.

- Hi.
- Hi there.

Beth, remember?
- Yeah, Maggie.

How you doing?
Um, I'm sorry

that I ran out of here
so quickly.

You seem great,
but I'm beyond help.

- Oh, that's not
in my vocabulary.

You know, there are plenty
of other methods

we could use
to re-acquaint you,

and I also teach privates.

- Oh.

- So talk me through it.
What does it mean?

Where did you leave it?

Was there any
nocturnal frotting?

- She was already
getting ready for work

by the time that I woke up,
so we didn't talk about it.

But, I just--
- Okay, okay.

So what--what do you want?
- I don't know.

I feel, like,
maybe I should just do it.

You know, we're still
legally married.

I mean, it would
be better for Gemma.

- Josh, that's not my question.
What do you want?

- I don't think that
we're right for each other.

- Okay, then you have to
cut it off, once and for all.

Even if she looks at you with
those little cartoon deer eyes

and begs you to do it
for the baby.

- I know it's not a fun
conversation to have, Josh.

But you're a dad now, okay?
And dads have to be tough.

- Yeah.
- Except for my dad.

God, he is such
a little bottom.

- I've never even heard
of the Ardmore Club.

What is it?
Like, Soho House for oligarchs?

- Quinn's showing off,
so we'll ignore

that she's ruining
our reputation.

- Hello, Millennial.
Thank you for coming.

I have the talking points
for the event.

- Great, do they mention that
you faked your best-seller?

- What are you talking about?

- You bulk-bought a ton
of books to boost sales.

They track that
and note it on the list.

- Okay, well, tell that
to the fans on Twitter.

- Also fake.
Most of the hashtags

are traced to Chinese bots,

especially the ones
defending it.

- Is anything
about this book real?

- The money the book's
bringing in is real.

What else do you need?

- My reputation.
- Oh.

- Integrity still means
something in publishing.

This is screwing
with my business.

- Who even knows?
Book Twitter?

- They're our peers,
and they talk.

- Do you know how hard it is

to run for office
in this country as a woman?

I have to control
every single detail.

No mistakes, no second chances,
no leaks.

If anyone catches wind
too soon that I am running,

the media will have
extra time to drag me.

If I get in too late,

somebody else's momentum
might be too strong.

And none of this timing
and precision and secrecy

means anything without--
and say it with me.

Name recognition.

- So you bought yourself a hit.

- "CLAW"'s numbers weren't
where they needed to be,

so I got them there.

And in exactly 11 weeks,

when I announce
that I am running,

I will have already been
on all the talk shows

promoting my book, because why?

It's a "New York Times"

It says so right on the cover.

- This is completely unethical,
and it's already hurting me.

- This controversy
will be over in a day,

and when all is said and done,
your company

will have pocketed
millions of dollars.

Now, do I have to call
"The Cut" and tell them

that Millennial doesn't support
it's author enough

to show up
to a very important event?

- I'll be there.
- That's a good decision.

See you tonight.

- Charles?

- What have you got there?
- Oh, my God.

You scared me.

Uh, I don't know.
It was just sitting out.


are you taking out a loan
on the townhouse?

- Oh, I'm, uh--just moving
some things around.

- That's a lot of money.
Is everything okay?

- Have you listened to
episode seven of "Exonerated"?

- Uh, no, not yet.

- Audrey breaks into
her ex's house.

- I didn't break in.
I have a key.

- Hm, well,
that's what Audrey said, too.

He came home and found her
going through his things.

- What happened?
- She--

she convinced him
not to call the police.

- And how did she do that?

Well, I guess I need to listen
to episode seven.

- She's been asleep
for an hour.

She should be out
until I get home.

Just a client dinner,
nothing fancy.

So I should be back
in a few hours.

- Hey, Clare, can we--

can we talk
about the other night?

- Okay.

- Look, I just want to say,
first off,

I am so happy
that we have this baby,

and that we're
raising her together.

But you and me--
- Are you breaking up with me?

- Are we together?
- Oh, thank God.

I was so worried you were
going to propose again.

- What are you talking about?
We're still married.

- I know,
and the other night was--

- Yeah.
- For a second, I thought,

"Wouldn't it be nice

if we found a way
back to each other?"

- But?
- But the second I woke up,

it all came rushing back.

Everything I felt when you
left me in Ireland.

We keep trying to
force ourselves together.

You know, for a green card,
for the baby.

And though those seem
like good reasons,

they're not the right ones.

- Then let's do this
the right way.

Okay, this is not
just about us anymore.

- Josh.

- Will you divorce me?

- I will.

- Thanks for dinner.
That was so nice.

I mean, I didn't even

think about that
while I was with you.

- Well, that's not the goal.

To not think about it
all together.

See, I think group was
too much, too fast.

Maybe we should take it slower.

- Slow is good, yeah.
What'd you have in mind?

- I don't know, maybe...

How's that?
- That was pretty good.

Maybe we could, uh,
speed things up a little bit.

- Well, maybe if you--

- And so I said,
"Jack, I don't need

"ten days meditating in Myanmar
to know myself.

"I already know
that sounds like hell.

I'm getting on the jet
and going to Macau."

And I did.

- What a relatable story!

Let's take some questions.

- Hi, Quinn.
- Hi.

- Congratulations on
the success of the book.

- Oh, thank you.
- Any comment

on the dagger
next to your number one?

- You know, I am just--
I'm not as acquainted

with the bestseller list
as you all are,

so I don't really know.

- Were bulk sales responsible

for "CLAW"'s
astronomical numbers?

- My publicist did say
that there were

a number of universities
that wanted

to use the book for syllabi,
so next question.

- That wasn't really an answer.
- Okay.

Uh, it sounds like
you're questioning

the validity
of "CLAW"'s numbers,

and I want you to know
that integrity

is of the utmost
importance to me.

- The book's ethos
suggests otherwise.

- So you read it.
Thank you.

Um, well, I really am
a neophyte at this.

So my publisher can speak
to this better than I can.

- Quinn's right.
Integrity is important.

So is honesty.

There were bulk sales that
contributed to "CLAW"'s numbers

due to a series of forthcoming
speaking events.

I am extremely proud to be
the first to announce

that Quinn Tyler
is running for Senate

in the great state
of California.

- Do you have any idea
what you just did?

- Take a bow.

- ♪ The line is ticking,
push us on ♪

♪ Stepping up, game on,
game on, game on ♪

- ♪ You can't keep my down ♪
- ♪ Game on ♪

- ♪ Can't keep my down ♪

- Thanks for
meeting us, Redmond.

I assume you saw Quinn Tyler's
story in the "Times."

And the "Post," and "WIRED."
- I did.

Kelsey, you're a messy bitch
who lives for drama.

I stan.

- So now that the dagger
is cleared up,

we want to talk about
Audrey Colbert again.

- Aw, adorbs!

Well, I'm sure she would come
racing back to you,

but we just accepted

another offer last night.
- What?

- It wasn't Jackie Dunn,
was it?

- No, we actually
went with a new

little start-up called Mercury.
- Who?

- What masochist would start

a publishing company
in this client?

- Not my money, not my problem.

But Kelsey, you do know
the editor very well.

Zane Anders?

- Unbelievable.

At least I didn't pay
for that champagne.

- What if we counter the offer?

- Whatever it is,
we will top it.

- Well, the offer
is now 800,000.

Can you top that?

- That's a lot of money.

- It's "Nightline" calling
for Audrey again.


They have
a better table uptown.


- I don't understand.

Where would Zane
get that kind of money?